Learning to love sex 3
- 2 years ago
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Thursday brought more offers of companionship from a variety of very eager young ladies, some of them from quarters that I had never even considered. My friends hounded me for an explanation of the cryptic note that Jackie dumped on me. I maintained my silence until lunch.
"Okay, Robinson, give," Bobby said as he and Betty Lou sat down.
"Yeah, you're making the ladies crazy," Jesse said with a smile.
"And not just the ones at this table," Mary Jo added.
I put my sandwich down and surveyed the table. Everyone, even Willie Parker who seemed to be completely oblivious to school gossip, seemed to be waiting for me to spill my guts.
"I am now in the market for a new girlfriend," I said, turning to look at each one of them as their jaws dropped. "And your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to help me find the most unlikely or inappropriate candidate possible."
"What about -?" Carly started.
"Inappropriate?" Mary Jo asked at the same time. I could see her eyes narrow and the wheels turn in her head.
"There are a few guidelines," I started, ignoring Mary Jo and interrupting Carly before she could say anything about Missy. "My new girlfriend cannot be sitting at this table at the moment. She cannot be a cheerleader. She cannot be dating anyone exclusively. Any girl in this school that does not meet one of those criteria is fair game."
"You are kidding, right?" Betty Lou asked.
I shook my head solemnly. "Nope."
Everyone stared at each other for a moment — except for Mary Jo, who continued to stare at me — and then Jesse broke the silence. "Well, if you're really serious, then there is only one choice, John," Jesse said. "Olivia Eastman."
"Over Easy!" Bobby slapped his hand over his mouth as all the girls stared daggers at him.
"Exactly," Jesse said. "There is no more inappropriate candidate to be John's girlfriend than her."
"Well," Mary Jo said, sweetly, "John's sex life would certainly get a boost." When she saw a small grimace cross my face, I saw understanding dawn, and she gave me a quickly hidden grin. A glance around the table showed me no one else had a clue, yet. I should have known Mary Jo would figure it out first. She knew me better than anyone else at the table, including Bobby.
"But... Come on, get serious," Amy Sue sputtered.
Carly looked around the table. "I'm sure Olivia's a nice girl."
"Carly, honey," Betty Lou said leaning over toward Carly. "Olivia hasn't been a nice girl since seventh grade."
Jesse sat back and stared Betty Lou down. "Can you honestly think of anyone who would be more inappropriate or unlikely?"
Betty Lou frowned and shook her head. The table split into a number of boisterous conversations. I sat back and smiled.
Olivia Eastman was perfect. I knew my friends could find the answer quicker than I ever could have.
"I love it when a plan comes together," I said to no one in particular. "Jesse, my friend, you are a genius." I clapped him on the shoulder as I stood and walked away from the table.
Olivia Eastman was the school bad girl. She smoked, rode her motorcycle to school, and, as any gossipmonger could tell you, slept with anyone and everyone she had ever dated. Olivia was the first girl in our class to develop boobs, and it didn't take the boys in her neighborhood long to notice. By the end of seventh grade, she was dating one of the Harrison boys. I couldn't remember if it was Bobby or Carl.
All four of the Harrison boys were constantly in trouble with the law. Al was currently in the State Pen for armed robbery. Last I heard, Bobby was running with a biker gang in Travis. Davy was at the Boys Camp in Barlow after he was caught driving his fourth stolen car in four weeks. Only Carl had settled down after high school, and he was working as an auto mechanic over at Firestone. In short, Mrs. Harrison's boys were bad news. Regardless, whichever one it was that Olivia dated in seventh grade was the one that had given her the name, "Over Easy."
However, I knew that like most of the gossip around Ridgemont, Olivia's reputation was overblown. Sure, she still rode a motorcycle and dressed in black leather, but she'd quit smoking six months ago after her grandmother passed away due to lung cancer. Most of the school didn't know that, but then most of the school also didn't know that Olivia worked for Tracey as a waitress to help her mom pay the bills.
Because she worked with Tracey, I'd worked with Olivia, too, and I knew that Olivia cleaned up nicely and, despite her reputation, was a very easy going young woman.
Before I looked up Olivia, though, there was someone else that I wanted to give a bit of advanced warning. Gail was Missy's friend, and she had been honest and direct with me. I could do no less than be just as honest and direct with her. I wanted her to know why I was doing what I was going to do.
Unfortunately, Gail didn't give me a chance to explain anything. The moment she heard Olivia's name, she blew up.
"You'd rather go out with that slut than with me?" she asked incredulously. "I thought you were different than all the other guys, but I guess I was wrong. Well, screw you, John Robinson! I hope she gives you the fucking clap!" She stormed off, unwilling to give me a chance to say another word. I sighed to myself. I probably hadn't done a great job trying to explain it to Gail, but at least I could console myself knowing that I'd tried.
I turned away with a sigh, only to find Mary Jo standing a few feet away. "You saw the whole thing, I assume?"
Mary Jo nodded, giving me a sympathetic grin as she walked up to me.
"I guess you just wanted to verify that I am crazy, huh?"
Mary Jo laughed. "Oh, yeah, I've verified it all right. You're crazy, John. Crazy like a fox." She briefly touched my cheek. "It's also nice to verify my opinion that you're a damned good man, John." She smiled, turned and walked away.
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After my history class, I met Agnes in the dorm’s common room where she laid an emotional kiss on me while plastering her beautiful body against mine. My mother said in a low voice, “Fred, I may do that to you later when we can thoroughly enjoy the aftermath.” I decided not to say anything but to concentrate upon the kiss. We finally ended the kiss and I was breathing a little quickly and heavily. We went over and sat with my parents. I said, “Dad, is everything with the court and police...
A bottle of Shiraz down, I'm stretched out on the sofa waiting for Horror at Midnight to kick in. Some sleazy backwater cable affair. Killing minutes, I skim the channels to stave off sleep, or maybe despair.My fingers backtrack, alerted to the prospect of danger. The screen settles. That pretentious late-night BBC art's magazine programme A Room of Their Own. The earnest transmission of cutting-edge culture leaves no room for doubt. Heavy lidded, my eyes barely register Sasha's resurrection,...
Taboo„Verdammt der Fernseher ist schon wieder kaputt!“ dachte ich mir schon wieder als die verdammte Klingel läutete. Draußen stand ein Typ im Blaumann: „Ihr Fernseher ist kaputt?“ fragte mich der Kerl. „Ja woher wissen sie das...“ fragte ich ihn verblüfft. „Das ist unser Job, kann ich jetzt anfangen?“ fragte er mich genervt und schob sich an mir vorbei. Nach ein paar Sekunden in denen er den Fernseher intensiv anstarrte; „Der Fernseher ist absolut in Ordnung nur ihre Fernbedienung ist Scheiße. Hier...