A Better WorldChapter 11 Back To School Back to work
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The sun was struggling to peek through the grey clouds, as Ellie strolled down the concrete path towards the bandstand. She was rather looking forward to spending some time with Hope - Michael too, if she was brutally honest. She could well understand what Lisa saw in him. Had seen, she mentally corrected herself. He was attractive in a gruff kind of way, but what did it for Ellie was the quiet way he spoke and acted.
Of course, this was just a friendship, nothing more. If it meant she also got to spend time with Hope, then she was happy. It pleased her to know she might be able to watch Hope grow up. If Lisa still were here, Ellie would have been the little girl's adoptive Aunt.
"You'll be the one taking her to the pub as soon as she's old enough!" Lisa laughed at the look of horror on Ellie's face.
"Oh come on! It's more likely that SHE'LL be showing ME how it's all done!" They both thought about the prospect that this baby Lisa was carrying might one day morph into a Britney Spears clone, and Lisa grimaced.
"Scary," Lisa said out loud. "I've changed my mind. Convent education it is."
"Good luck!" Ellie grinned.
It was still hard to come to terms with the realisation that Lisa would never see her little girl become a young woman, perhaps marry and have children of her own. Tears pricked Ellie's eyes at the unfairness of it all.
"Hey there!" Michael's voice interrupted her silent reverie and she realised he stood across her path with Hope in her pram.
"Sorry, I was miles away," Ellie apologised. "I was just thinking about—" She stopped abruptly. Now was not the time for such maudlin thoughts.
"That's okay," Michael said quietly. Ellie looked at him through damp lashes and had the uncanny sense that he knew exactly what she had been thinking about. It was most unsettling. She brushed the sensation to one side and determinedly pasted a neutral expression on her face.
They wandered over to the small café near the bandstand and sat down at one of the empty tables. It was a bright morning, and fairly cool. Most people had taken tables inside the cramped building, so the outside seating was pretty deserted. Despite her lingering sense of sadness, Ellie was glad she had made the effort to come. She felt positive for the first time in a while.
"Can I hold her?" she asked when Michael un-strapped Hope and lifted her out of the pram.
"Of course," he said. "I'll go and fetch the coffees."
Hope gazed up with huge blue eyes as she was lying in the curve of Ellie's arm. Small wisps of blonde hair curled in little ringlets and she resembled a tiny cherub, peaceful and angelic.
"Don't be fooled by that innocent demeanour," chuckled Michael as he returned, and placed a tray on their table. "She's never that sweet at three in the morning!"
"I can well imagine," Ellie giggled. "I have seven younger siblings. Connor, the third youngest, was born when I was eleven. He had the most awful colic and spent months screaming all night, every night. My parents were on the verge of divorce by the time he stopped all the crying. It was no fun." She pulled a face as she thought back to the horrific nights of no sleep.
"No, it's not much fun," said Michael with great understatement. "But it won't last forever."
"True," agreed Ellie. "But then you have teenage tantrums to look forward to instead," she added, recalling the conversation she'd had with Lisa.
"A convent education is the answer to that," said Michael.
"That's exactly what Lisa said!"
Michael looked shaken and Ellie wished she hadn't said it. It was painfully obvious he hadn't yet dealt with everything that had happened. "Sorry," she said gently. "I'm horribly tactless at times."
"No, it's okay." He leant forward and sipped his coffee. "I do need to talk about things," he said after a moment of silence. "It's difficult, you know?"
"I do know," Ellie replied.
They both looked away, lost in their own recollections of the woman who'd brought them together. Then Hope began to grizzle and the moment passed.
"I think somebody is ready for a feed," Michael said. "I'll just nip in and see if they can warm her bottle up."
Ellie watched him walk across towards the café and thought again how attractive he was. Once again, she reminded herself that he was off limits even if he and his wife were separated. The last thing either of them needed was any romantic complications to be added to this situation.
He came back out through the double doors and Ellie quickly looked down at Hope, conscious that she'd been staring. She hoped he hadn't noticed. Fortunately, Hope decided to start wailing the moment Michael sat down, and so his attention was diverted.
This allowed Ellie a chance to remember why she was there — and it wasn't to make any more unsuitable attachments. She had had enough of those to last a lifetime. As nice as Michael seemed, it was worth remembering that he had hurt Lisa badly and been unfaithful to his wife in the process. That was hardly the kind of man she needed to fall for. Oh no she told herself firmly as she watched him patiently coax Hope to take milk from the bottle. She needed a man like that as much as she needed a hole in her shoe.
They chatted about mundane things whilst Hope finished her feed. Eventually, it was time to move and Michael strapped a grizzling baby back in her pram. "She's tired," he commented.
"She's not the only one," replied Ellie dryly, noting the grey circles beneath Michael's eyes.
He laughed. "Sleep is a luxury these days!"
"You know," said Ellie after a moment's thought, "I don't mind babysitting if you ever need a break?"
Michael looked surprised. "I'm sure you must have loads of better things to do in your spare time."
Ellie shrugged. "Not particularly. I don't go out that often. Besides, I'd like to see more of Hope — if you don't mind?"
"I thought you'd have men queuing up to take you out!" He grinned at her and Ellie felt a slow warm sensation creeping through her body.
"Hardly." She smiled self-deprecatingly and willed her cheeks not to flush.
"Well, I'm sure Hope would love to see more of you, so consider your offer likely to be taken up imminently. You'll have to give me your phone number and then I can ring you."
Ellie pulled a scrap of paper from her bag and jotted the number down before handing it to Michael. Their fingers briefly touched and she, once again, felt a sharp zing of attraction.
They said their goodbyes and Ellie walked away towards the south entrance of the park. She almost wished she hadn't offered to baby-sit. As much as she wanted to spend time with Hope, she had the feeling that her attraction to Michael was going to be dangerous.
But it was too late now. She could hardly revoke her offer, so the ball was firmly in his court.
Michael replaced the phone in its cradle and swore loudly. Hope was lying in her rocker chair nearby. Her eyes widened at the flood of foul language.
"Shut your ears, Hope," Michael told her. "Daddy's just mad, but not at you."
The baby cooed and waved her rattle at him, and he smiled, the tension fading somewhat. He was still left with a problem however. Tonight, he was meant to be wining and dining a potential client and his wife, who were currently over from Tokyo. It was an important evening. This client could be a vital asset to the company. Moreover, it had been implied that if he didn't win the contract, he might be sidelined very soon. He knew his job was in a precarious position; certain individuals were waiting, hopefully, for him to screw up big time. Therefore, he had no choice but to attend this dinner.
Unfortunately, his childminder had let him down. She had promised it was no problem to take Hope for a few hours. Nevertheless, she had rung up half an hour ago to apologetically explain that she had a viral stomach bug and was, therefore, in no position to baby-sit.
Now, he didn't know what the hell he was going to do. Shit, shit, shit. He thought quickly about whom else he could possibly ask; it was difficult, as most of his friends had pretty much written him off lately. Then, an image of Ellie popped into his head and he grabbed his mobile to retrieve the number he had programmed in.
"Hi, Ellie," he said in a rush when she answered her phone, "it's Michael here. Remember that babysitting you offered?"
She listened, as he explained the predicament he was in.
"Sure, no problem," she said. "Give me your address and I'll be straight over."
She was true to her word, duly arriving within half an hour with a small carrier bag in her hand. "Sorry, I couldn't resist when I saw this the other day," she explained sheepishly pulling out a pretty outfit for Hope.
Sitting down on the rug beside Hope, she looked around the spacious room curiously. It was tastefully decorated in beige tones, but it felt a little impersonal. She wasn't sure why exactly, but the lack of any family photos was strange.
"I shouldn't be too late," explained Michael, while trying unsuccessfully to fasten his gold cuff links in a hurry. He swore softly when they refused to close.
"Here, let me do it," said Ellie without thinking. She calmly fastened them for him and then straightened his tie.
He suddenly looked at her properly for the first time since she'd arrived at his house. Her dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she wore no make-up. She was dressed casually in scruffy jeans and a loose sweatshirt, yet she managed to look appealing to him.
With a start, Michael realised how pretty she was. Up until this moment, his only perception of her had been that she was Lisa's friend. Now, he began to see her as an attractive woman; it was unsettling.
"Is everything ok?" she asked curiously.
Belatedly, he realised he had been staring at her. He pulled back hurriedly. "Yeah, thanks," he said a bit gruffly. "Hell, I better go or I'm going to be late. Are you sure you'll be all right? Feeds are in the fridge and help yourself to anything you want."
"We'll be fine, won't we, Hope?" Ellie said soothingly. Hope gurgled as if agreeing with her. She kicked her chubby little legs about and Michael relaxed slightly.
The taxi beeped its horn outside. "Okay, I'm off now." He grabbed his jacket and house keys. "Ring me, if you have any problems." He was suddenly anxious to leave. Ellie made him nervous for some strange reason.
She, once again, assured him she would be fine and so he left, aware that if he didn't ask the taxi driver to put his foot down, he would probably miss the starter.
Ellie locked the door behind him. She wondered why Michael had looked at her funny when she fastened his cuff links. She shook her head, dismissing the errant thought as Hope began to cry. It was time to fetch a bottle of milk from the kitchen.
Michael walked in through his front door expecting to hear an all too familiar wailing. Instead, the house was silent but for the muted sound of the television in the living room. His head was slightly woolly from too much wine and he could feel a headache coming on rapidly.
Apart from eating and drinking too much, the evening hadn't gone too badly. The client had seemed receptive to his proposals and he felt fairly sure that at least some business might be heading their way soon. Time would tell. At this moment, he didn't give a toss in all honesty. He was beginning to think that there was far more to life than work.
After putting his shoes and coat away, he headed down the hall, towards the living room to see Ellie. For some reason, she had appeared in his thoughts with alarming regularity all evening and he still wasn't sure why. God knew he had enough on his plate without adding a relationship into the potent mix.
The room was in semi darkness when he walked in. The lamp in the corner had been switched on, but the only other light was from the television. Ellie was curled up on the sofa, her legs tucked beneath her in a cat-like fashion. Michael was about to say something, when he realised she was fast asleep.
She looked so young lying there with her hair spread out across the cushions - certainly nowhere near the thirty-something he knew she was. He bent down and gently shook her shoulder, catching a faint wisp of floral perfume. She stirred a little and opened her eyes blearily, looking slightly confused for a moment.
Then, she suddenly realised where she was. "Oh God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep!" she apologised.
Her cheek was pink and creased where the edge of the cushion had left its mark. Michael felt his eyes drawn there, assailed by a sudden urge to rub the area with his thumb. He looked away quickly and examined what was playing on the television. "Have I missed anything interesting?" he asked politely, a slow throbbing headache beginning to bite right behind his temple.
"No, not really. Once Hope settled, I switched it on, but I guess I zonked out almost immediately!" She rubbed her eyes ruefully.
"Did she go down alright?" Hope seemed the safest subject to talk about while he was feeling this way.
Ellie stood. "She was great — didn't give me any bother."
Michael was amazed. "Really?" he said in disbelief.
"Really! I bathed her, fed her and then read some stories while she lay in her cot. She nodded off quite quickly."
"Maybe it's me then," he said, tiredness suddenly hitting him hard. It was horribly disheartening to hear that the baby who screamed the place down nightly had been an absolute angel for somebody else.
"Hey, don't be silly! Anyone can see you're doing a wonderful job in very difficult circumstances."
Michael raised one eyebrow sceptically. "You think?"
"Yes, I do think," she replied firmly.
Then why do I feel so fucking useless half of the time?
Ellie must have seen his dejected expression for she stepped close and gave him an impulsive hug, throwing her arms around his neck in sympathy. The gesture took Michael completely by surprise. Her slight body pressed against him and her hair tickled his nose for a few precious seconds.
Almost without his realising, his hands moved to hold her, but she jumped away abruptly with a stricken look. "I'm so sorry," she apologised, her cheeks flushing deep pink with embarrassment. "I shouldn't have done that."
Michael reached forward and grasped her arm. "Don't be sorry, I'm glad you did." He rubbed his temple, as he tried to find the right words through the fog that threatened to close his brain down for the night. "It's been a while since anybody hugged me," he admitted. He was aware that he sounded deeply tragic, but suddenly did not care all that much.
Ellie's face registered empathy and something else he couldn't fathom. He just hoped it wasn't pity — he couldn't cope with that at the moment.
"Me too," she admitted with a sad smile.
"I spent the last decade married to the ice queen — what's your excuse?" Michael found it difficult to believe that this lovely woman didn't have a boyfriend.
"Bad luck I guess." She shrugged. "There was somebody, but it didn't work out and, well, I haven't bothered looking since. Anyway, I'm talking rubbish. You must be shattered and I should get home."
"Sleep deprivation is a way of life."
Ellie grabbed her bag and coat. "Take advantage of the peace then!" She grinned and Michael felt relieved that the awkwardness of the previous few minutes appeared to have vanished.
"Thanks, you know, for tonight," Michael said as they stood on the threshold of his front door. Outside, the sky was clear; hundreds of twinkling stars were visible despite the glow from the street lamps.
"That's okay," Ellie said. "It was my pleasure. Anytime you need me, just holler."
"How about next Saturday night?" The words were out before Michael had a chance to think it through.
Ellie had turned to go, but she paused in response to Michael's invitation. "Do you have to work again?" she asked.
"No, I just wondered if you fancied coming over and having some tea with us?"
She hesitated. Michael thought for a horrible moment that he'd overstepped the mark, but, then, she smiled and he exhaled with relief.
"Sure," she said, "I'd love to!"
"Great! Is six o'clock okay? I know it's early, but I don't want to keep Hope up too late."
"No, that's fine, is there anything you need me to bring?"
"Absolutely nothing."
"Okay. I'll see you on Saturday." She disappeared down the drive towards her parked car. Michael watched until she had safely driven away. He couldn't help wondering what had prompted the invitation — it hadn't been his intention at all.
But, he reasoned, Hope liked Ellie and he sure as hell needed some adult company outside of the office. Ellie was fun to be around and there was nothing wrong with them becoming friends. He firmly dismissed any nagging doubts as to his motives and headed off to bed, hoping that he might grab a few uninterrupted hours of sleep, before Hope awoke again.
Ellie jumped off the bus and looked up at the leaden sky dubiously. Judging by the black clouds congregating right above her head, it was about to tip it down. Just marvellous when my car is in the garage for the millionth time this month, she thought crossly. Catching buses was all very well, but Michael's house was not on a main bus route. She knew he would have picked her up if she'd asked him, but she was much too proud to ask.
Rowan
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