My Mum the Slut Day 2 A trip to the Beauticians
- 3 years ago
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Present – Jens – Postop
My phone rings, I look at it and answer, "Maria, we picked a hell of a time for you to go find Linus!"
She replies, "Jens what the hell is wrong?"
I step outside in the midst of the crowd and reply, "We just had a hell of a firefight and almost had our asses handed to us."
Maria complains, "Damn I guess I missed all the fun! So who the hell was it that attacked you?"
I respond, "I have no idea who it was. I was busy helping Masha operate on Zarika."
Someone shouts, "I know who the hell it was! It was a drug cartel hit squad from Columbia. I could tell by their tats."
Suddenly everything clicks into place. Megan was working for the Columbian drug cartel and she had them ... I stamp my foot and yell, "That bitch!"
Maria replies, "Jens what the fuck? Zarika was wounded and Masha operated?"
I'm too highly pissed off to answer so instead I swear, "That Megan bitch is going to rue the day she ever messed with me! I'm going to stick my foot so far up her ass that she's going to taste shoe leather for the rest of her life!"
Present – Maria – trying to find Linus
Shit! If it's not one thing, it's another. Here I am in Texas trying to find out about Linus and Jens gets attacked, figures out Megan was behind the attack and now is throwing a tantrum. I decide to try something different so I question, "Jens if you calm down I will relay some good news."
I hear some muttering under her breath until she finally says, "Well, I could sure as hell use some good news."
So I proceed to lie through my teeth to my Princess Boss, "Jens, I have a great lead on where Linus and the guys are. I also heard they are hot on Ben's trail."
My lie has the desired calming effect on Jens and she says, "Maria, I could almost kiss you."
I again question, "You mentioned Zarika was wounded and Masha operated. I didn't know she could do that, did you?"
Jens continues in a subdued mood and tells me all about the surgery. And I thought I had good field surgery skills...
Present – Mira, Ira, Alexi and Todd – post firefight
I survey Alexi to notate when he will discover the fourth member of our party. After an exceptionally great length of time, he finally acknowledges the presence, turns and questions, "How long has the man named Todd been following us?"
I tousle his hair and respond, "For much too long my brother. You must learn to control your emotions and enhance your observation skills."
Irinka taunts, "That is like the pot calling the marijuana dope."
Alexi sighs and corrects her, "Ira you mean the pot calling the kettle black. When will you bother to learn the correct euphemisms for America?"
I catch the twinkle in Irinka's eyes as she winks at me. Yes, occasionally this is a little game we enjoy pursuing with Alexi.
Todd arrives beside us and signs, "Greetings Angels of Death. Am I to assume this is your brother? If so, what is the name of your team now?"
I occulate Ira, she returns my occulation and we are both confounded because we had never previously considered this issue. Alexi assumes responsibility and responds, "Mr. Todd, we are now called the Death Squad. But what pray tell is your nickname?"
Todd expressively signs, "Some like to call me Silent But Deadly."
Alexi gleefully emits a mirthful laughter. I consider Ira, she glances at me and then questions, "Alexi what is so mirthful?"
He gives us an astounded look and then explains, "Silent But Deadly is an euphemism for an excruciatingly noxious flatulence which is produced silently."
Ira and I comprehend the joke and giggle gleefully.
Alexi continues his questions, "Mr. Todd, I am fascinated by your bow. Why do you prefer that device over a more conventional weapon?"
Todd signs, "My little one, since you have not yet figured it out, I prefer stealth to noise. That was evident when I could slip up on you but not on your sisters. So for me the bow is the perfect weapon of choice, just as many times your sisters prefer to use their katanas."
I defend Alexi, "Todd, this was Alexi's first battle and subsequently his adrenal glands were over producing. And besides you are the master of stealth and even we barely detected you."
Alexi pleads, "Mr. Todd, would it be possible at some time in the future for you to provide me instruction in the proper use of the bow."
We arrive at the cabin as Todd signs, "It would be my pleasure and we can start training tomorrow."
I occulate Ms. Donaldson's rapid approach and postulate, "With the tempestuous expression on her face, I think the excrement..."
My sister finishes, " ... Is going to impact the circular air distribution device."
Present – Liz – Post Firefight
The minute firing started, I took off for the cabin with Bernie. The last thing I wanted, after I had finally got my man, was to lose him. Truth be told we are both much better lovers than fighters! And speak of the devil, that was what we just finished doing.
We return outside and I see Jens heading toward the twins like a runaway locomotive. She's being followed by everyone else. I kiss Bernie and say, "I need to go take care of this."
I run up just as Jens confronts them, "Why in the hell didn't you warn us about the attack."
Ira responds, "Ms. Donaldson, the sharing of intelligence is not our primary duty." She looks at Alexi and directs, "Alexi please inform Ms. Donaldson of our primary duties on this mission."
Alexi recites, "My primary duty was Ivan's safety and because of my Mira's indelicate situation, her primary duty was Ms. Morgan's safety."
Mira interrupts, "And when Ms. Morgan and Bernie departed haste of post for the cabin that changed my duty to..."
Ira continues, "My duty, which was to outflank the attackers. However we must apologize. Our intelligence was insufficient and someone will pay an exorbitant fee for the oversight. We were informed there would only be ten attackers but instead there were close to one hundred."
Alexi added, "And once Ivan was verified safe by Ms. Reynolds, that released me to join both my sisters in battle."
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So Jamal had fucked my wife with his BBC like no one had ever before. For the next couple of months not at day passed without my wife either talking or texting with Jamal. We lived about two hours away from him so spur of the moment hook ups were not common but happened occasionally. Jamal would come up to our house on the weekends and fuck my wife two days straight and she would occasionally drive to his college during the week. Her whole demeanor had changed and she was like a school...
Ken was walking outside when he spotted Eric in the Garden digging a hole. "Um, Eric," said Ken, "why are you digging a hole in Lea's Garden?" "It's not a hole," replied Eric, "it's a fire pit. Bill and Gary are out getting some stone to line it with, and Sally's getting stuff ready to cook over it." "Huh," said Ken. Well, if Lea had a problem with a fire pit in Her garden, She'd let Eric know. "Who came up with that idea?" "Jane." "Have you seen her?" asked...
I studied in the library every night. One of the girls that I studied with was Michelle. She was really cute 21 year old. She had long dark hair and was nicely endowed with C cup breasts and a killer ass. On night just the two of us were studying in the basement of the library as usual when she started complaining about the tightness of her bra and how much it was bugging her. I told her to go into the bathroom and take it off. She was wearing a sweatshirt, which was big, no one would notice....
"Strip," I said. "What?" she replied angrily. "You think I'm carrying or I'm wired? You don't fuckin' trust me?" "I don't fuckin' trust anybody," I replied, motioning with my forty-five. "That's why I'm still alive. It pays not to trust anybody in this line of business. Especially the broads." "Fuck you, Micky," she hissed, anger flaring in her eyes. "Strip," I said. She did. Slowly and sensuously she unbuttoned her jacket. She placed it on the back of the chair. She turned and stood...
It was a late Thursday night as Jessica walked down the poorly lit street towards the bus stop that would take her from the down town area to her college apartment. Jessica had been volunteering at the mission, helping cook dinner and spread the gospel, but while the women customers were interested in the mission's services they weren't really interested in the Gospel. Also many of the women were heavy smokers, and while Jessica did not want to be judgmental, she hated cigarette smoke. As...
Mind Control