Lolly Got Popped The Yoga Pants Rules
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Note: Thanks to Alex for beta reading this! At the same time, Kayleen Harland was finishing up with the next batch of her miracle substance, her daughter, Jolene, was hurriedly dressing in Mrs. Morales’s living room. Jolene pulled her baggy skirt over her big futa-dick, still wet with MILF juices. She left Mrs. Morales swimming in jizz. As she rushed to the front door, she pulled on her top. Kayleen hummed away as she watched the solution fade from a blue to a hot pink. It was ready. She...
I stood outside the door almost shaking with excitement. The message had popped up in my inbox the previous weekend and I must have read it a thousand times over the last 10 days or so. The message was from Milf Jess, a ‘friend’ from xhamster and the sexiest MILF on the site. I had spent far too much time wanking as I watched her amazing videos and could not count the times I had wished it was me feeding her my thick hard cock instead of the lucky sod she is with. I had left several comments on...
I stood outside the door almost shaking with excitement. The message had popped up in my inbox the previous weekend and I must have read it a thousand times over the last 10 days or so. The message was from Milf Jess, a 'friend' from xhamster and the sexiest MILF on the site. I had spent far too much time wanking as I watched her amazing videos and could not count the times I had wished it was me feeding her my thick hard cock instead of the lucky sod she is with. I had left several comments on...
I sat with her on the couch. I sat on the edge of the couch sideways looking at her. She was sat right back. Her feet didn't touch the floor. She twisted slightly towards me. I moved in to kiss her. Just as we started to kiss I placed my right hand onto her waist. I placed my palms against her feeling the soft flesh through her blouse. My left hand went arccos her shoulders. We kissed with tongue as my right hand gently pressed into the flesh of her tummy. That felt soo nice. I waded my hand...
“Come on, Jackie! It’s time to take your meds,” fussed the roommate.“Calm down, you old queen,” hissed the 76 year-old. “You’re not the boss of me.”“Thank goodness,” giggled the friend. “Open up, Drink.”Jacqueline Littlejohn swallowed with relative ease.“Very good. You feel like oatmeal for breakfast,” inquired the mature, sepia-toned woman.“That’s fine. Apple cinnamon,” requested the fair-skinned Jacqueline.“Give me a few minutes. You mind seeing if Alene wants some too?”“Sure,...
I travel through a red light district everyday and evening on my way to and from work .. its a well known haunt and if i was mention the name of the perticular road i feel sure most of the people from kent would of heard of it and i think even those of you who are not from kent would definately know the town .. its a couple towns over from where i live so i will keep the location a secret for now .. Its not a run down area .. the propertys along the road are quite up market .. and during the...
Chapter Five: Latina MILF's Futa Delight By mypenname3000 Copyright 2020 Note: Thanks to Alex for beta reading this! At the same time, Kayleen Harland was finishing up with the next batch of her miracle substance, her daughter, Jolene, was hurriedly dressing in Mrs. Morales's living room. Jolene pulled her baggy skirt over her big futa-dick, still wet with MILF juices. She left Mrs. Morales swimming in jizz. As she rushed to the front door, she pulled on her top. Kayleen hummed away as...
Chapter Four: Latina MILF's Futa Discipline By mypenname3000 Copyright 2020 Note: Thanks to Alex for beta reading this! Christine Holt I opened the door to the house, eager to get in, get changed, and get out before I ran into my mom. I didn't see her in the living room. A lavender scent filled my nose. One of Mom's dumb scented candles she was trying to sell on the internet. She thought she'd be the next Martha Steward or some dumb shit like that. Though, it did smell good. I took...
As a commissioned story, I initially didn't plan on uploading it on FM. However, since it's related to my previous MILF machine story, I thought I might as well. Thanks for reading! The MILF Machine: A Day in the Life By Dr. Beaubourg Commissioned by Jwargod Hello again. It is I, Marty Campbell, your ever humble narrator. I thought you'd want to know a little bit more about my life after I stumbled upon...
The remainder of that day I spent in a Sexual and speculative frenzy, for after accepting the invitation from Kerim to stay the night in their house adjoining the Slave barn, my first act had been to go back into the ‘training room’ and ram my rock hard cock into the inviting cunt of the young girl who, all the while we had been next door, had continued to kneel face down on the dirt floor. She’d certainly been trained very well indeed. Having dispensed with the idea of using any of the...
Note: Thanks to Alex for beta reading this! Christine Holt I opened the door to the house, eager to get in, get changed, and get out before I ran into my mom. I didn’t see her in the living room. A lavender scent filled my nose. One of Mom’s dumb scented candles she was trying to sell on the internet. She thought she’d be the next Martha Steward or some dumb shit like that. Though, it did smell good. I took another deep inhalation. A tingle rippled through me. I could see lighting one of...
Chapter One: MILF's Throbbing Futa Surprise By mypenname3000 Copyright 2020 Note: Thanks to Alex for beta reading this! In the basement laboratory, Jolene Harland held up the glass vial staring at the reaction happening in the solution. What had started out as a deep blue liquid was now transforming into a bright, almost hot, pink. The twenty-year-old girl pushed up her glasses with her free hand as she waited for the reaction to come to an end. The solution settled into that pink hue....
Why do MILFs give me such a rock hard johnson? Is it because they're so stressed they always need a good pounding to get the kids off the mind? I have no idea since I'm not a fucking woman and no goddamn parent. No, I think that MILFs are fucking sexy, refined, know what they want and because they're such good parents… goddamnit, they deserve a fucking that they can finger themselves to for years to come, okay?Show me a MILF that's too busy making shit work, and I'll show you one that's ready...
Mature Porn SitesThis is my second story here at FM, and my first written in first-person perspective, so feel free to leave some constructive criticism. Thanks for reading! The MILF Machine By Dr. Beaubourg Hey, how's it going? My name's Martin Campbell, although my friends call me Marty. Some people call me Mrs. Campbell. If I like them, I let them call me Helen. This is the story of how I came into the possession of the magnificent MILF machine, and how it changed my life. Stick around...
All was now ready and early and that evening, after the heat of the day had subsided, Jane Richards was driving down the quiet winding country road, toward the small nearby coastal town on a regular late afternoon visit to purchase her groceries. In doing so our MILF spotted the figure of a lone female, standing beside a stationary car with its hood raised, signifying an obvious breakdown of sorts to the tall slim Blonde Englishwoman. Realising the young woman appeared to be alone and in...
Introduction: Having committed herself to performing multiple acts of donkey sex in Tijuana next weekend, an enterprising MILF turns to performing in porn movies to whip herself into mental and physical sex shape for the beastly event. As a part of the deal, she has to pass out some freebees to a Senator and several of his horny young relatives. The Donkey Solution, Part 2C MILFs Porn Movie Sex, Plus Freebees A DREAM BLOWJOB: As Michelle slowly came awake she attempted to lick her lips but...
All of you horny readers will love jerking off to this incident that I am about to share. So, grab that bottle of lubricant and keep your cock on standby. And those who don’t know me, I am Simraan. Last week, I went to the mall with my lover to do lingerie shopping. It is my view that a former flame will select the best bra and panties than a lousy husband. I call him ‘love’ because I am an open-minded married woman! My lover and I picked up a few pairs of bra and panties for trial. We both...
IncestChapter Six: Futa-Daughter's MILF Rebellion By mypenname3000 Copyright 2020 Note: Thanks to Alex for beta reading this! Sky Marlow I stood frozen at the sight of Natalie. Water spilled down my bestest friend's big tits. More gleamed on her wrist and ran down the outside of the glass she held. She had almost run into me at the base of the stairs. Her question hung in the air. “What are you doing?” she'd asked. Going to fuck that MILF across the street, I thought. But it was really...
What is it about hot fucking MILFs that makes your dick stop whatever it's thinking about and turn its attention to these refined, sex beasts? I know I'm not alone, either! These little pricks you see around college campuses wearing their stupid fucking hats and chasing young freshmen with fuck-all pick-ups lines can keep the inexperienced teens whining that they, 'have to put their mouth on that.' Give me the goddamn cougar that, 'yes please,' and, 'how deep you want me to blow it?'...
Mature Porn SitesThe Do-gooder MILF The Do-gooder MILF -2 The Do-gooder MILF -3 MILF Meat The Do-gooder MILF -4 BASTARDS The Do-gooder MILF -5 She is Mine Oh this is so sweet, my Tommy has her tits in his hands and I am grabbing them too. Oh shit, we are working together. I can actually feel him throbbing inside her. I can feel him cumming. Ah the Bitch is moaning. She likes it. Tommy shot his load in Joan’s ass. Come on, one of you guys, fuck my ass. It was hard to tell if she really...
I thought of Jazz as my beautiful girlfriend. But I never used the word in front of her, or with anyone else, for that matter – except my mother. She would ask me ‘How is your girlfriend?’, and things like that. So I had to take precautions. – ‘Mom, could you do me a small favour tonight?’ – ‘What’s that, dear?’ she asked. – ‘Could you try not to refer to Jazz as my ‘girlfriend’? Just use her name, or …’ I wasn’t quite sure how to explain it. ‘She’s just not comfortable with that...
First off, to get an idea of me, I work downtown and most of my wardrobe is mostly slacks, button-ups, polos, and proud of my dress shoe collection lol. So when I go out I am dressed well, and clean cut. Anyway, I managed to swing a night with a woman through the suaveness at the blackjack table. She obviously knew what she was doing and was up about $700. I sit down with a Anyway, this milf was stacked with a short black skirt on that kept riding up exposing he lingerie.. Which was a...
"Hey, Amy," I said, walking into her room."Hey, Ben," she responded, turning to me. "How have you been?" she pondered before kissing me.I failed to answer and just checked her out for a moment in silence."Does that mean you like the top, Ben? Is it all the colors?""And the black pants too, they perfectly match your hair," I answered, feeling a few strands. 'I just want to see it off you though, with me not wearing anything either.'"You're staring again, dude, what's going on, and...
MILF"Hey, Amy," I said, walking into her room. "Hey, Ben," she responded, turning to me. "How have you been?" she pondered before kissing me. I failed to answer and just checked her out for a moment in silence. "Does that mean you like the top, Ben? Is it all the colors?" "And the black pants too, they perfectly match your hair," I answered, feeling a few strands. 'I just want to see it off you though, with me not wearing anything either.' "You're staring again, dude, what's going on, and please...
MILFChapter Six: Blown by the Fertile MILF A Belt Buckle Mind-Control Story By mypenname3000 Copyright 2020 Notes: Thanks to WRC264 for beta reading this! Things changed at school rather quickly. With my older sister's help, I started dividing the girls up into different categories. Some became whores. Literal prostitutes. These were the hottest girls that I would sell to the boys who attended my college. The twins, Rosalita, Janet the lesbian, and others were sold to the boys for $50 for a...
(An Incestuous Harem Story) Chapter Seven: Sisters Tease the MILF By mypenname3000 Copyright 2019 Note: Thanks to wrc264 for beta reading this! The Armstrongs would be here in an hour for their second lesson from my brother, Clint. It was two weeks since that wonderful Saturday morning when my brother showed Mr. Armstrong what sort of wife he had. Two weeks since she was spanked and fucked and shown to be a cuckold. Clint was having fun teaching Mr. Armstrong to control his wife. The...
There is a thing with mature women that I am sure we can all agree with. They are all grown in a ridiculously sexy way, and they fucking know what ticks for them as well as how to get it ticking. In fact, I must admit that those who are into the MILF kind of porn are mostly freaky assholes who want something close to real. Also, there is the fun in seeing some massive load of porn experience thrown into the mix.From the handjobs, blowjobs all the way to lengthy cock rides. It'sIt's almost as if...
Mature Porn SitesChapter Ten: Futa-Mommy and the Hot MILF By mypenname3000 Copyright 2020 Note: Thanks to Alex for beta reading this! Madeline Marlow I stared in shock at Lupita Reyes, the math professor, staring with horror and disgust at us. She had caught me getting ass-fucked by my futa-daughter while I licked out Aoi's pussy, making the student cum on my face. Her cream dripped down my chin. “Madeline Marlow!” Lupita gasped in shock. “You're fucking the students. What is wrong with you? And one of...
Note: Thanks to Alex for beta reading this! Sky Marlow I stood frozen at the sight of Natalie. Water spilled down my bestest friend’s big tits. More gleamed on her wrist and ran down the outside of the glass she held. She had almost run into me at the base of the stairs. Her question hung in the air. “What are you doing?” she’d asked. Going to fuck that MILF across the street, I thought. But it was really Spice, the futa-demon who’d given me my girl-dick. I was better at recognizing her...
Practicing to make the MILF List AirtightAuthor's note: It is time to share. This begins the process of sharing the MILF List. The MILF List was made in the previous series, "Making the MILF List". If you like, you can read that first and this may make that much more sense. The characters are the same and the origins of this story are there. Thanks to everyone who commented on the previous installment. I stayed in bed late Sunday morning. My three sisters banged around and giggled and talked,...
Chapter Three: Futa's First MILF By mypenname3000 Copyright 2017 April 17th, 2047 “So, your boyfriend's mom walks in on you naked on her living room couch, your new futa-dick hard and thrusting before you. That sounds... interesting,” said Adelia Tash, the talk show host sitting beside me on the couch before her studio audience. The cameras rolled, the lights shining down on us, illuminating us for the entire world to watch as the interview was streamed across the internet. “Yeah,”...
Chapter Three: Alyessa's Afternoon of MILF Delights By mypenname3000 Copyright 2018 August 21st, 2036 – Alyessa Howards Three days after Ms. Evans revealed that Mrs. North, the reverend's wife, was eager to fuck my futa-cock, I was trembling. I had an appointment to work in the Norths' yard, mowing the lawn and trimming the hedges. I did it once a week for them to earn money to help buy college supplies. I was leaving for college next week. This was my last chance. I couldn't believe...
Who else remembers the time when hanging out at their friend’s house was the highlight of the day? Well, I know you used to turn up at their home because you enjoyed watching your friend’s extremely hot mom walk around the house half-naked. There is actually no shame in that at all. Everyone has that secret MILF; they’d give anything to get between their legs. Personally, the thought of an aged woman flashing her tits across my face and spreading her thighs to show a set of thick vaginal lips...
Mature Porn SitesThe male love of milfs starts at a ripe young age. Basically, the moment we get our first ball hair, we begin having wet dreams about teachers and friends' moms. We can't help ourselves.From Ball Hair to Ant HillsWhile young men are certainly still attracted to their peers, when you're a kid, your peers aren't fully developed women like moms and teachers. The evolutionary urge to reproduce takes over, and women of obvious mating age become sexy as fuck.The human mind is a strange beast,...
Premium Mature Porn SitesWe’re at it again, boys. About to dive into some random ass MILFs from across the world right here on CamSoda. I’m reviewing the MILF section in specific because you know I like to get really nitpicky with my smut. Plus, I know you guys appreciate the extra narrow categories. I’ve been covering a lot of live cams lately, and I think that CamSoda is doing its best to stick out ahead of the competition with some unique design choices that distinguish them from other similar websites. But, then,...
Live Mature Sex CamsChapter Three: Cassandra's Futa Party By mypenname3000 Copyright 2017 Lana's accusation echoed up the stairs to the second floor where I was. Her mother's pussy clenched on my futa-dick. I groaned, trembling, staring down at my best friend as she stared up at me, the other nineteen-year-old girls attending her slumber party arranged around her at the stair's vase. They were all only wearing bras and panties, their eyes wide at seeing my naked body pressed against busty Mrs. Teller's...
The Do-gooder MILF The Do-gooder MILF -2 Her legs were untied. Now what? They left her there a little while. Then hands grabbed her ankles and her legs were lifted up They were spread wide and lifted up and tied next to her wrists with ropes to the top bar. Joan was bent like a pretzl, trussed up. She was wide open. In full panic Joan screamed, begged threatened. You pigs, stop, you will pay for this. What is wrong with you. You can’t do this. She could see the bright lights...
Chapter Two: Blown by the Married MILF A Belt Buckle Mind-Control Story By mypenname3000 Copyright 2020 Notes: Thanks to WRC264 for beta reading this! My mom, older sister, and little sister all ducked their heads down and licked my cock. All three of them were mad to suck my dick, willing to do anything for that privilege. I had fucked them all just now. Popped my eighteen-year-old sister Lisa's cherry, then pumped away at Mom's snatch and flooded her cunt, and then just pounded my...
Introduction: With sisters help on New Years Eve, he fucks his MILF Neighbour. BEST PRESENT EVER: MILF NEIGHBOUR Summary: With sisters help on New Years Eve, he fucks his MILF Neighbour. Note 1: This is the third part of the Best Present Ever series. In Part One (Bitch Sister), Matthew turns the tables on his bitch sister making her his personal sex slave. In Part Two (Cheerleader Orgy), Matthew has a fun foursome with his sister and two other cheerleaders. Of course, I suggest you read the...
Remember being a young man and going to a friend’s house for sleepovers? So many people harbor fond memories of staying up late with their best buds, playing video games, eating candy, and drinking Mountain Dew. It’s the epitome of youthful fun. Here’s the thing, though. I never had sleepovers with my best friends. Why? Well, it’s simple. My best friends’ moms were ugly sacks of shit.How much I liked someone had nothing to do with my urge to sleep over at someone’s house. For me, it was all...
Mature Porn SitesChapter Two: Cassandra's Futa Problem By mypenname3000 Copyright 2017 Tears fell down my cheeks as I stared at my new cock sprouting from where my clit used, the folds of my pussy wrapped about its base. It was still wet and shiny with Mrs. Teller's hot pussy. The MILF, mother of my best friend, had rode me so hard, so eager to cum on my dick. I thought, finally, that I had her. After lusting after her for years, I had the MILF in my arms. Yes, I didn't imagine I would grow a cock at...
The Do-gooder MILF The Do-gooder MILF -2 The Do-gooder MILF -3 MILF Meat All fucking smiles for the boys. Barry was next. The bitch was shivering, quivering. She realized she was not only being raped, she was going to be gangraped. Fucked one at a time. Slowly. Hard. Brutally. The cunt hung wide open ready for the next cock. Barry had a gruesome mask. A Vampire mask. The face of death. He had a little surprise. A tittie surprise. He grabbed her left breast and tied a...
Hi, all horny Indian sex stories readers.Greetings .The unsatisfied 29-year-old guy with lots and lots of fantasy, decently fit and fair.Passionate and nice guy.Life started to become monotonous.I all most was updated with all latest porn movies, sex stories and masturbating with vr glasses.I did not have a soul to spill my sexual appetite and try all the amazing things about sex.Life was so boring.The same old position sex with my girl was getting really boring.I was really looking for my...
What’s so prime about MILF Prime? Are they claiming to be the very first free MILF tube, or just the best one? Maybe the Prime designation is referring to the women, which certainly suits me as a connoisseur of top-quality cougar meat. Perhaps they mean Prime in the sense that we’re living in what just might be the golden age of dirty movies starring Mothers I’d Love to Fuck. Honestly, give me any or all of the above and I’m bound to show up with my dick out and a bottle of lube at the ready.I...
Mature Porn SitesWhat would you do with a Freeuse MILF? The phrase itself instantly gets your mind spinning in all kinds of perverted directions, at least if you’re a red-blooded straight dude. If I had one at my disposal 24-7, I probably wouldn’t have to spend so much money on pocket pussies and tissues. It’s a simple premise for a fantasy, but it’s one with so many immediate possibilities that I was eager to check this next website out as soon as I heard the name. Mothers I’d Love to Fuck, who are always down...
Premium Mature Porn SitesMILFTrip! What the fuck is it about road trips? Every time you go on one, it seems like you always find a MILF you wouldn’t mind fucking in between pit stops. But, wait, you’ll give her a pit stop, won’t you? Ha! Too bad you wouldn’t know how to use that acorn between your legs if a woman ever spread her legs for you!But it is not all lost; you can still fantasize about the MILFs you cannot have. And that’s where Globe Twatters wants to help! And no, they’re not going to send you on a worldwide...
Premium Mature Porn SitesChapter Two: Alyessa's Naughty MILF Affair By mypenname3000 Copyright 2018 November 12nd, 2045 – Alyessa Howards “So you just had your first time with a MILF in your neighborhood,” said Adelia Tash, the beautiful talk show host that was interviewing me about the book I wrote, Accepting Being Futa in a Post Becky World. She had such gorgeous coffee-brown skin and a lovely smile. I saw why my futa-mother, President Becky Woodward, liked to come on this show. Adelia helped me feel relaxed...
I was out with my friend and we were in one of the best nightclubs in town, its plays dirty rnb were girls get wild and crazy and do made stuff, my friend Neil is a bit of a stud and he always gets the girls but this time was different, We were dancing on the dance floor when a older women in late 30’s id say kept looking over at Neil and smiling she was obviously d***k as she was all over the place but she was mighty fine for a milf, in the end she came over and started dancing with Neil, she...
I couldn't wait to go over to Jeannie the MILF's house today. I was still relishing over the fact that I fucked her yesterday. She was just as slutty as I thought she’d be. I was happy that she and I were on the same page. She wanted to fuck me as much as I wanted her. She seemed to be starved for sex and for attention. I was happy to be her stud muffin. She wanted to fuck me for the next three weeks. I was like a pig in shit. This was better than winning the lottery. I was going to get fucked...
MILFI was out with my friend and we were in one of the best nightclubs in town, its plays dirty rnb were girls get wild and crazy and do made stuff, my friend Neil is a bit of a stud and he always gets the girls but this time was different, We were dancing on the dance floor when a older women in late 30’s id say kept looking over at Neil and smiling she was obviously drunk as she was all over the place but she was mighty fine for a milf, in the end she came over and started dancing with Neil, she...
“You’re gonna leave it that way? You can’t just walk out and not finish the job young man. Just because I can’t pay you right now, doesn’t mean you’re not gonna be paid.” Mrs. Treves was shocked the two young men from the reputable 5 star company wouldn’t complete the job when they discovered she didn’t even have the money for a down payment. Lyle Davis a 4 year employee with the company and 26 years old apologized. “No, no there has to be another way” the 42 year old destitute woman pleaded....
Erotic FictionAll characters are at less 18 years old unless the story says so. The Male has aMilf fetish fucking milfs and getting females pregnant too. The milf as a child that you are friends with, and if the milf has a man in the show, movie, book, or comic/manga she will not have him here, the man would ether be dead or they split sometime in the past. My name is (First Name) (Last Name) and I’m in love with my friend’s milf of a mother, I had first fallen for her when I was very young I thought it was...
Curiously, the two most consistently popular porn genres are teens and MILFs. Both the young and the clearly adult draw our attention but for different reasons. The draw of teens is their youthful innocence and unadulterated bodies. (Pun intended) We wish to christen them into a world of sin with our penises. We anoint them with our seed, forever tarnishing what was once god’s perfection. Once her pussy has been fouled by your manhood, it can never be unfouled. It will forever be fetid and rank...
Mature Porn SitesSo after the first date we had (if you haven't read my first post check it out) it ended on a very good note, I had a BBW, MILF slut for myself now. I couldn't stop jackin off to her whenever she was gone. but any way we still text each other, or I should say sext as that was just our language now. but we were already trying to see when the next time she was going to come over. so we plan that out and we both know that as soon as she walks through that door we are getting straight to fucking.So...
Adult Time MILF! Two of the most popular porn categories both have to do with age: Teens and MILFS. What isn't there to love? Teens offer fresh and perfect bodies, pure and untouched, while MILFs have the experience needed to turn your cock into a cum factory.Professor MILFWhile both are fantastic, today we're focusing on MILFS. Nothing beats the knowledge of a sexually liberated MILF with a divorce under her belt and a soaked pussy. That vagine has been ignored for years by her ex-husband, and...
Premium Mature Porn SitesThe Do-gooder MILF The Do-gooder MILF -2 The Do-gooder MILF -3 MILF Meat The Do-gooder MILF -4 BASTARDS Joans head twisted, she could not see when the next blow was coming. He body flinched, quivered AHHHHHHHHHHHH. Another hit with the belt. Every part of her body hurt the way she was tied. Totally exposed to all the men. Pain. Fear, Despair. AHHH. Her head shook. Her head had been slapped. NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Another hit with the belt. The hands on her ass. A cock...
Summer vacation was just winding up. I’d be going back to Florida to attend my second year of college. I had a fantastic summer. Recently, new neighbors moved in. A gorgeous MILF and her family moved directly across the street from my parent’s house. It appeared that her husband was out of town a lot. She had a toddler, but brought them to pre-school every day. She didn’t work and loved to wash her car in a skimpy bikini. She liked to put a show on when she was outside. She would sunbathe in...
MILFI arrived around 9:30 P.M., the driveway to the large house was dark, illuminated by just a row of small dark orange lamps that followed the path surrounding the well manicured front yard. The path lead me directly to the front door. As I reached out to knock on the expansive, heavy, molded French door, I realized my cock was hard and pressing against my jeans. Pushing my cock down so that it would rest against my leg and hopefully be held in-check until I knew for sure what these ladies had in...