Taking Risks Chaper 2
- 3 years ago
- 16
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The Ultimate Strip Club List! Do you have some dollars to spend? Then sit tight. By the end of this, you should know how to put those extra bucks into good use. Thing is, many guys I know love spending a little money at strip clubs and those who say they don’t are fucking faggots. Well, no problem with that, but who in their right mind would mind having a fucking hot lass with nothing but a bikini perform a lap dance on you? Anyway, do you crazily need to add a bit of spice in your life? Well, guess who is not going to leave you high and dry? That’s me motherfucker, who else? I’m about to introduce you to a site that is supposed to be used as a method to rank and leave reviews of strip clubs across the world with a view of helping you find somewhere to see some naked women when your wife is on her periods or whatever. Sounds awesome, right? Welcome to my review of Tuscl.net.
But Porn Dude, what happens at strip clubs?
Well, I’m surprised you have no clue. Have you been living under some fucking rock or something? What kind of boring-ass lives are y’all leading though? Anyway, today I’m in a good mood, so I’ll explain what goes down in strip clubs to you like you are all a bunch of toddlers.
Thing is, what happens in these adult clubs depends on the locations, state/local laws, theme of the club, and how lenient the people working there are. Some strip clubs are just but glorified brothels, while others are more like regular bars but full of bikini-clad dancers. Most fall somewhere in between, but there are those that lean more on the brothel side of things, which is even better if you are looking to get laid while at it.
Where I’m from, most strip clubs require men to pay cover charges or drink minimums and once inside, you are going to see almost naked women (some attractive, some not so) dancing provocatively on poles before prowling the floor for customers willing to buy them drinks and for ‘private dances’ which might set you back some $20 depending on the girl. Now for y’all slow motherfuckers, a private dance involves the girl stripping down to a thong and pasties, rubbing her ass on your crotch, occasionally smashing her boobs on your poker face, and practically dry humping you through a song. Depending on how strict the club is (most are) or how suave you are, some of the girls are willing to provide more explicit sexual services in the club, or they may offer you a date outside the club.
Sounds like a fucking plan, right? Trust me, it is. I’ve had my fair share of strippers in my bed, and I can assure you those girls are the fucking bomb. Let’s see how effective Tuscl.net are at helping you enjoy the above-described experience.
Awful design for starters
The site claims to be ‘the ultimate strip club list.’ Whether that is just unfounded, braggadocio is what we are about to find out. However, they had a chance to make a first impression, and they failed miserably. I know it’s a strip club listing site and all, but the homepage is just too fucking plain it's clear the team gave everyone demanding a more attractive side a fat middle finger. At least they could have made an effort for fuck’s sake.
The entire homepage is plain white with a header menu with links for home, local clubs, strip club list, daily reviews, dancer directory, discussion group, and articles, among others. At least someone had the presence of mind to include an FAQ and About tabs because the homepage doesn’t give anything away. The rest of the page has the same options on the header menu, only listed vertically this time at the end of which is a search feature. These fucks couldn’t even include a picture of a hot girl in a thong or at least something aesthetically pleasing. Awful fucking job.
It’s NOT free
Well, joining Tuscl.net is supposedly free, but nothing could be further from the truth. In reality, you will need to pay to have full access to the site by grabbing a VIP premium membership. Granted, it’s not that pricey; $6.95 a month, $34.95 for six months, or $49.95 for a year. However, what do you get for that? That’s the only way you will be able to access the most important part of the site; the reviews and comments. This is how you know which strip club is shortchanging its users or providing mediocre services. However, you receive a free 4-week Premium VIP membership for every review or article you have published.
Whether you are willing to spend that kind of money to read reviews and get strip club links is a decision you’ll have to make. While I hate to say it, that won’t be money wisely spent if you ask me. A word of caution, though; the site is low key pushing escort sites and other illegal sites internationally, and giving out your details may put you on the wrong side of a police operation should the site be seized by authorities. They will have your details, remember? Proceed with caution especially if you are in the USA and don’t want a stinking load of legal trouble.
The Strip Club Listings
If you are planning on using Tuscl.net to find a strip club, you will be pleased to find they have listings for strip clubs all over the world. Click on Strip Club List and see a list that covers North America, Europe, South America, Asia, Caribbean, Oceania, Africa, and the Middle East. Simply click on your location or a location you are planning to visit and see the places that have some erotic fun in store for you. I clicked on Brazil, which arguably has the hottest sluts in the world, and was pleased to find plenty of club in Sao Paolo, Rio de Janeiro, Porto Alegre, and other major cities in the country.
However, the Local Strip Guide option is not working. Clicking on the link directs you to the main strip club list. I also tried the Dancer Directory, and the result was ‘Nothing found within 1000 miles’. You guys fucking kidding me?
Possible fake reviews
The reviews on Tuscl.net are supposed to be exclusive and from members. They are also supposed to be screened and moderated by site admins before they are approved. However, there is no way of verifying the authenticity of the reviews, which could be fake for all I know. As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t write off some of the strip clubs hiring people to write positive reviews for them. How do you know that? Common sense, dude.
Some of the reviews are mediocre at best, while others look like they were written by the strip club employees. Also, some of the clubs are actually battling each other in the reviews which is both ridiculous and juvenile and is another indication that the reviews may be fake. Some might call me a fucking asshole for calling out such mediocrity, but I’m The Porn Dude, and I just don’t sugarcoat shit.
Things to love about Tuscl
Worldwide strip club guide; if you are looking for a site to help you find out the hottest strip clubs from your location, Tuscl.net looks like a site that will help you achieve that with listings all over the world.
User reviews; users can read reviews from other members, which have to be approved by 3 unique VIP members to be approved.
Erotic articles; there is an opportunity to read well-written articles about other user experiences in strip clubs and other naughty stuff.
Things to hate about Tuscl
Not free; users are required to upgrade to VIP premium membership to have full access to the sites including the reviews.
Mediocre design; the site features a really awful design that looks bland, plain, and boring.
Potentially fake reviews; anyone with the semblance of a working brain will tell there is every possibility of fake reviews, especially when some appear to battle other strip clubs listed on the site.
The bottom line
All things considered, Tuscl.net has too many unknowns for comfort. While there is a great list of strip clubs from all over the world, the fact that users have to pay to access what are shady escort sites that might land you in trouble and potentially fake reviews means you should exercise caution if you have to use the site. After all, the site claims that “Everything written on this site should be considered a work of fiction.” How can they then claim the reviews are legit?
Yawning and moving right along.
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Redi approached Tani and told her they needed to talk in private. Tani nodded and the two women slipped into a store room where they could talk. "What's up Redi? Why all the secrecy?" Tani asked. Redi began to speak, "Tani I have perfected my process of re-growth and I now can restore your reproductive system but..." The revelation was like a breath of fresh air to Tani who very much desired to have additional children someday but had resigned her self to the fact that was not going to...
Before Jillian was to regain consciousness, her friend, Pamela Anderson, got down on the floor and was eagerly urging Jonas, Jillian's Beagle, to climb up on her prone belly. She was fascinated at the bright red penis dangling under the short dog. She even wished that she had the time to get a taste of it, but she needed to get the dog inside Jillian before her friend regained consciousness. "C'mon Jonas," she cooed, rubbing Jillian's wet pussylips. "Look what momma's got for you,...
I was in my office one day and I was looking on craigslist at ads. So I thot I would put on on there. I get a accountand think what do I want to write. I decide to see who wants to be fisted and I put a ad on for it. It go ( is there any women that want to be fisted) .if you look Im assuming you want to be! so dont leave hit me up and Ill fist you! must be white and ddf put yes in the subject line. I wait and I get a nibble but there bots . Then I get you . Im excited to get a real girl this...
My xHamster friend, Bill, and I finally decided to meet. No expectations, just a drink and conversation. We had been online friends for some time and shared similar sexual interests, values and fantasies. So, we agreed on a place to meet that was half way between where we lived. We arrived at about the same time, instantly recognizing each other. It was nice to finally meet. We sat at a table in a bar that was biker-like, so we didn’t want to project the image that we were gay, or anything like...
I thought this story was finished, but things have a habit of going on in my brain so it turns out that there is more.For those who didn’t read the earlier chapters, and those who have forgotten them, it may be worth a look at the links above.In brief, the early chapters cover Candy — a wife who likes to have occasional wild sex — being severely injured in a car wreck while on the way home from one of these club dates. The reasons for her behaviour and her coming to terms with the consequences...
NovelsCandi’s Quandary Sex can be kind of frustrating for a girl like me. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love sex. It’s just that I have this little problem--my holes get jealous. What one has, the others want. I mean, I really love to suck on a fat cock, but no sooner do I get my lips wrapped around it and start to get it down my throat, than I want to feel it in my pussy. And I love the feel of a big dick sliding into my cunt—do I ever!—but after only a few strokes, I get this yearning to feel...
“You sure you wouldn’t rather get a job in that little boutique in town? Jessica’s mother moaned. furrowing her brow and putting on her best attempt at puppy dog eyes. “Oh my god mum, I’ll be back next week” Jessica moaned, “You said you were happy for me to get out?” she questioned, “So you and Dooouugggg can now beeealoneeee” she added, holding her hands together and smooching her lips in a comical way. “But you’re my baby” her mum blubbered, her arms opening wide to embrace Jessica in a...
January 7, 1984, McKinley, Ohio “Thanks for the lift, White Boy!” Clark said as we got out of my Mustang. “Somebody had to drag your lazy black ass the last fifty miles, and I have sympathy for the mentally challenged,” I deadpanned. “Hey, Cracker, are you saying I’m dumb because I’m black?” “Not at all! You being dumb has absolutely nothing to do with the color of your skin!” “Fuck you, Honky!” “I love you too!” I grinned. We both laughed, shook hands, and with Clarissa following...