CHANGING SIDES
by enduringshades
"Hello, IT Support."
"This is Miss Holden's Personal Assistant. Her computer is not working,
can you send somebody up now please?"
"Yes, of course. I'll be with you right away." I had only just joined
Holdens, a family-run department store in a county town in one the
country's more affluent areas. The store had survived financial crises,
lockdowns and the onslaught of online shopping because the family owned
the business and the building. They were debt free and maintained
traditional values, not like the highly-geared businesses that have
disappeared from our high streets in recent years. I had never met Miss
Holden, she was the managing director's younger daughter and recently
joined the family firm. My boss would have attended under the
circumstances, but I was the only one in the office.
"Please come in," called out Miss Holden as I knocked on her open door.
As I entered her office we just looked at each other. They say opposites
attract but it is also said that we look for ourselves in others. We
could have been twins. It was love at first sight, but neither of us
acknowledged this except in our eyes.
"What seems to be a problem, Miss Holden?"
"It is switched on, but the screen is blank," she replied.
"Okay, let me have a look." I turned it off completely, and then turned
it back on again. It rebooted and the login screen appeared. "Can you
login and check if it is working again, please."
She did so and her computer was up and running. "Wonderful! You are such
a genius," she said with a smile. "Sorry, I'm new here, I don't know
your name."
"I'm new too, I'm Ian Somerset. It is best not to leave your computer
running overnight and to reboot it afresh in the morning. Of course, the
problem may be intermittent, if so, call us again."
"Thank you Ian, I'm Charlotte by the way. Thank you."
"You're welcome." I returned to the IT Department. I say Department, but
it was just a room for my boss, me and computer equipment next to the
room with the firm's server.
It was mid-afternoon and the phone rang. "This is Miss Holden's personal
assistant. She asked if you could come to her office."
It must have been an intermittent problem. As I entered her office, I
saw that her computer appeared to be working. "Are you still having
problems with your computer?"
"Oh no," she said as she closed the door, "it has been working fine
since you fixed it this morning. I was wondering if you would like to
meet for a drink after work?"
My heart flipped, that was an easy question! "I would love to."
"Wonderful. Meet me in 'The Crushed Grape' at 7pm. Do you know it?"
"Is it the newly opened wine bar in the old town?" I hadn't been there,
I had only just moved to the area, but I had noticed it on my way to
work
"Yes, come as you are, there is no need to go home first. And Ian."
"Yes?"
"Keep it to ourselves and make your own way there. See you tonight!"
I couldn't concentrate for the rest of the afternoon. She was gorgeous
and she wanted to have a drink with me! I arrived on time, I don't
believe in being fashionably late and besides I couldn't wait. And there
she was, beaming as I approached her table.
"I'm so glad you came!" she said as she kissed me on the cheek.
"And I'm so glad you asked me!" I plucked up the courage and returned
the kiss.
"When you left my office this morning, I knew we had to meet again."
I won't bore you with details, but needless to say that was the first of
many dates and we became boyfriend and girlfriend. I didn't have any
friends locally and Charlotte wanted to keep our relationship to
ourselves because I was working for her family's firm. But I did meet
her family and her sister often joined us. I took her home to meet my
parents and my sister. It was never said, but we knew we would spend the
rest of our lives together.
At first we were attracted to each other as we looked so similar, other
than that I was a man and she was a woman of course. We were of the same
height, which meant she was taller than me in her heels. We were of
similar build but she had curves in all the right places. Charlotte was
a handsome woman and I was not hunky.
I decided to propose to her, but before I could do so I had to tell her
my secret. She may need time to consider her answer. So I invited her to
my flat for dinner.
"That was delicious, Ian. I didn't know you could cook."
"That is not all you don't know about me." And I was wondering how I
was going to broach the subject. "Come and sit."
"Charlotte, I would like to propose to you, but there's something I need
to tell you."
"You are not gay are you?" she laughed. That was not a good start.
"No, no. I'm normal. I'm not into men. What made you think I was?" She
had just made it more difficult for me to tell her.
"Nothing, it was a joke! Sorry. I know you're into girls! This one
especially!"
"As I said, I'm not gay, I'm straight. But I used to wear my sister's
clothes." She was silent for a while.
"Your sister, Christine?"
"Yes, she's three years older than me. When we were children she
regularly dressed me up as a girl. I enjoyed playing with her and after
a while I grew to enjoy being her sister more than her brother."
"Did your parents know?"
"Yes, they didn't encourage it but they played along. They said it was
better than us fighting."
"How long did this go on?"
"Until she left home. At first it was just dressing up, then later she
used to take me down to the park to the children's playground. I loved
being on a swing in a dress with my long hair following behind me, like
in those cute adverts. Later, as teenagers, we would just walk and sit.
She loved to experiment with styles and make up. It stopped when she
went to university, but by that time, mum had allowed her to take me to
the town centre during the day. Over the following three years, until
the time I went to university, I used to dress occasionally at home with
mum's now willing help. I didn't go out, I just spent the time as the
younger daughter."
"Can I see what you look like as a girl?"
"I don't have any women's clothes. I only wore Christine's or mum's."
"Any photos?"
"I think mum and dad might have some, but I don't have any."
"Is this why you have long hair and wear it with a ponytail?"
"I've always had long hair. As a young child my mum kept it long, years
later she told me that I looked cute and I was often mistaken as a girl.
As I grew up I refused to have it cut short and I always wore it in a
ponytail. I intended to cut my hair after I graduated, but I went into
IT and it was easy not to as it made me look like a geek."
"It does! And I love it, but you need to do something about the split
ends. But promise me you will get it cut if you start going thin on
top."
"Sure will, I don't want to look like an ageing roadie. And I hope by
then I will have moved on from being a geek!"
"I love you very much, Ian, and I want to spend the rest of my life with
you. That is until now."
"I understand, it was better we split up now than later when you found
out."
"Love, I'm not dumping you! I just need time to think about your
revelation. I have always believed that marriage should be between a man
and a woman, not that I don't disagree with same-sex relationships. I'm
going home now. I'll let you know if I want to get married and if there
will be any conditions. And Ian."
"Yes?"
"I do really love you." But she didn't kiss me when she left.
I had a restless night. I don't think I would want to dress in women's
clothes again, it has been over four years now. But the family might let
something slip or I might have a change of heart. I was convinced I had
done the right thing.
Charlotte wasn't at work the following day, nor the day after. The phone
rang. "Hello, IT Support."
"Mr Somerset?"
"Speaking," I answered.
"This is Mrs Shield's secretary, could you pop into her office at the
earliest opportunity."
"Yes, of course. I'll be right up."
Mrs Shield was the Personnel Manager, she was also Charlotte's older
sister Penelope.
"Hello Ian, do come in and close the door behind you," asked Penelope.
"Charlotte has confided in me what you told her the other night." Here
it goes, I thought, I'm going to lose her and my job. "And she has asked
me to pass on a message." She paused for a moment, perhaps I was
supposed to say something. "She will accept a proposal of marriage from
you, but there are conditions. She wants you to be a bride."
"Sorry, I don't understand?"
"You want to marry my sister?"
"Yes, if she would have me."
"And you like to wear women's clothes?"
"I haven't actually worn any women's clothes since I left home for
university."
"By laying down this condition, my sister wants to show you that she
loves you and can accept you dressing as a woman. And the ultimate
crossdresser's dream is to be a bride." I haven't thought of myself as a
crossdresser, perhaps I am. But the thought of being a bride gave me
butterflies in my stomach and an unexpected stirring in my groin.
"You said conditions."
"She doesn't want to marry a man in a dress. You have to be a convincing
bride, someone she can be proud of. She won't accept your proposal of
marriage until you demonstrate you can be."
"How can I do that?"
"I'll be the judge of that."
"And the final condition is that you do not contact her until the
wedding day. Do you agree to these conditions, or do you need time?" I
thought about it for a moment, but I so desperately wanted to marry
Charlotte, I said "No need. I've made my mind up, I agree to the
conditions."
"Wonderful, I'm so pleased. Ian, I do love you and I know you will be a
welcome addition to the family."
"Thank you."
"The wedding will be a private affair, just close family and at the
family home. She doesn't want your wedding to be made a spectacle given
the unusual circumstances. Can you talk to your sister and ask her to
contact me so we can discuss getting you ready."
"I will, of course."
"Feel free to talk to me at any time. I am to be your sister-in-law
after all!"
That evening I plucked up the courage to call Christine. I told her that
Charlotte and I are intending to get married, but there was a condition
that I needed her help with. We agreed to go home that weekend, as I
thought I could do with mum's help as well as dad's support. The
following day at work it was announced that Charlotte was taking leave
of absence until further notice.
"So what do you need my help with?" asked my sister. We had gone down
the pub leaving mum and dad watching a movie on TV.
"You remember you used to dress me up in your clothes?"
"How could I forget? I wished you really were my sister."
"Well I told Charlotte. I couldn't propose to her with such a secret."
"You were right to tell her. Did she say 'yes'"?
"She agreed provided that I dressed as a bride." I then told her about
my conversations with her and her sister. Christine said she would
contact Penelope.
"This is so exciting! My brother is going to be a bride! Can I be your
chief bridesmaid?"
"I had thought I would have a best man."
"Don't be silly!" she retorted.
"Okay, let's see how Charlotte wants the wedding to be, and if I can
have a bridesmaid then it can only be you!" We hugged, Christine started
to cry with joy and I started to swell up.
"What are you going to tell mum and dad?"
"The truth. We'll do it after lunch tomorrow."
Mum and I sat down with dad and Christine after having cleared the
table. "You remember Christine used to dress me in her clothes?"
"How could we forget?" replied Mum, "I loved having two daughters."
"Well, I told Charlotte before I proposed to her."
"You are getting married!"
"It is not finalised, because there is a condition." I explained about
Charlotte wanting me to be dressed as a bride. They were taken back at
first, but soon came around.
"I'm going to be the mother of the bride! Of course I will help," said
mum.
"And I'm going to be the father of the bride and give you away," dad
said.
"I don't know about that yet," I cautioned, "but first I have to show
Charlotte I can become a convincing bride.
"Come on Christine, let's take Ian up to my bedroom and see what we have
got to work with!" I was so pleased with the family's reaction that I
eagerly agreed with mum's suggestion and I went upstairs with them.
"Get undressed and put these on." Mum handed me a pair of black lacy
knickers, I think they were hers. "We are going to have to remove all
that body hair," she said looking me over as I stood there in her
knickers.
"I'll shave it off," I said.
"I think hair removal will be better," chipped in Christine. Your skin
will look and feel smoother.
Mum then wrapped a matching bra around my chest and stuffed the cups
with rolled up tights. "I think it will be worth getting you a pair of
breast forms. You will look more natural."
"You remember how I showed you how to put on tights?" said Christine. I
nodded. "Until we remove the hair from your legs, wear these, they're
opaque." I pulled on the black tights, that sensual feeling came back to
me."
Meanwhile, mum was searching through one of her drawers. "Found it!" she
declared as held up an ivory coloured garment. "My bridal corset!" If we
let out the laces it should fit you, but we will get you your own bridal
lingerie set. I started to wonder if this was going too far, what was I
letting myself in for?
Mum wrapped the corset around me and she and my sister pulled the laces
tight. I was astonished, not the squeezing of my tummy, but the feminine
waist they created. She then went to the wardrobe and went through her
dresses."This one should do fine."
"It is an old party dress of mine. I never wear it now, it is more your
age and should fit you. You have looked after yourself."
She held out the red dress and I stepped into it. It was of a shiny
fabric, like satin. I slipped my arms through the arm holes, it was
sleeveless, and mum zipped me up. It was a snug fit, but without the
corset she would not have been able to close the zip. The skirt flared
out but stopped way above my knee. "Now sit down in front of my dressing
table." I watched in amazement as she applied makeup and combed out my
hair. I had a good feeling after my reservations about going too far.
"Your feet are too big for my shoes, so you will have to go in
stockinged feet. "We are going to show dad his new daughter."
As I walked into the living room, my dad looked up and then grinned. "I
think this is going to work," he said, "but you are going to have to do
something about those hairy arms." We all laughed.
We decided that next weekend, mum, Christine and I would go shopping to
put together an outfit for me. Not for a bride, but for a young woman.
Meanwhile I gave Penelope's contact details to Christine.
I drove home the following Friday evening with mixed feelings. I was
excited about dressing up again with my mum and sister, but nervous
about what I was letting myself in for. But it was the thought of
marrying Charlotte that overcame my misgivings.
"I've arranged a number of appointments for you tomorrow, Ian," mum
announced over supper. I wondered what she had in mind, but I dared not
ask.
We drove into town after breakfast. "I'm a regular customer here," she
said as we entered a hair and beauty salon. "I've spoken to the owner
and explained what we are doing, she thinks it's wonderful. You have no
need to be embarrassed, we will be in the private rooms in the back of
the saloon.
"Good morning Wendy," welcomed a middle-aged woman. She was an excellent
advertisement for her salon as indeed was mum. "This must be your son."
"Yes Gladys, this is Ian and this is my daughter Christine."
"Come through to the back. And don't worry Ian, we often have male
customers, some of them are regulars." I wasn't sure what she meant, but
I assume they were crossdressers.
"Get undressed, everything, and put these on. You can use the cubicle."
She handed me a pair of plain black knickers, just like the ones
Charlotte wore. I wondered how she knew, but then realised they were in
a style popular amongst young women. She also gave me a white nylon
gown.
As I came out Mum approached me with a tape measure. She took various
measurements while Christine made notes. "We will see you later, Ian.
Enjoy yourself."
"We are going to do something about your hair. Lie down on the treatment
table and we will get started." I did as I was told as two assistants
joined us. "I'm afraid this is going to hurt, but this is what women go
through to look good. As the assistants started to apply the wax I knew
what to expect. What happened to the hair removal cream? I thought, and
what was wrong with shaving as I suggested. It did hurt, but it was a
case of grin and bear it. Was that being manful or what women do? When
they finished removing all my bodily hair, including from my private
parts (they spared me and used cream) they rubbed a pleasant smelling
lotion all over me. Being hairless did feel good and I was starting to
look more feminine.
I then moved to one of the salon chairs. The girls started working on my
nails. They shaped and cleaned up my toenails and painted them red. They
then started on my finger nails. I don't have short nails as such, but I
cut them if they get too long or break when working on IT equipment. "I
don't think we will add nail extensions, but you should let them grow,"
said Gladys. Her assistants gave my nails a nice oval shape, cleaned up
my cuticles and applied two coats of varnish to match my toes. When done
I held up my hands to look at the finished job, subconsciously just like
a woman. It seemed the natural thing to do.
"Now for your hair," announced Gladys. "We will wash it and trim it. And
then brush it to untangle it. Then on Monday, when you go to work, you
can rough it up and put it into a ponytail just as now. Not only did
they wash and trim it, they used a hairdryer and brush to straighten my
hair and then style into gentle waves. I was taken aback as I watched
them turn my geeky but manly hair into something totally different yet
the same. I was beginning to think this might actually work.
"Now I am going to trim your eyebrows, but not too much, just enough to
tidy them up, and then apply your makeup. It will feminise your face and
highlight your best features. Don't worry, you won't look like a drag
queen, you will have the day-time look of a smart woman who likes to
look good. She was right, I couldn't believe how realistic I looked. I
was a young woman, one who I would find attractive, of course I would,
as I now looked like Charlotte. Just then I heard mum and sis return.
"Oh my god, Ian you look gorgeous," cried Christine. I think she was
exaggerating.
"Gladys, you worked your magic. He looks so natural," added mum. "Now to
complete the transformation of my son into my daughter. She handed me a
white soft padded t-shirt bra and matching knickers. I knew what they
were, they were what Charlotte wore. I also did what she did, I put the
bra on backwards to do it up and then turned it round.
"What size is the bra?" asked Gladys.
"He measured 37 inches, so I bought a size 36B," replied mum. Gladys
disappeared into another room. She came back with a small box.
"We keep these for our special clients," she commented as she took out a
pair of breast forms and inserted them into the cups of my bra. She
adjusted them and the bra and then pronounced. "Perfect." I looked into
the mirror and a boyish woman looked back. It was my bulge that betrayed
me. "You can borrow them until you get your own." I thought she meant my
own breasts, but she must have meant the breast forms.
"Pull this on," said mum, "they are firm control shaping knickers. They
should hold you in place, you can leave the knickers on." I did as she
told me. I adjusted my manhood so that the garment flattened them
against my tummy. Not perfect, but much smoother.
"This is a cincher, it will give you a feminine waist, smaller and
higher than your own." Mum wrapped it round me and pulled in the laces
until she was satisfied. I wasn't, I could hardly breathe. But it was
worth it when I saw that the boyish woman in the mirror was now more
shapely. She then gave me a white vest with thin straps, and a black
straight skirt and a white top. The top had capped sleeves and a scoop
neck. I had put them on, the skirt reached to just above my knees and I
could see the faint outline of the vest under the top. I realised that
without the vest the cincher would have been noticeable. My mum knows
what she is doing.
"These sandals are size 7, one down from your usual size, but you can
adjust them with the straps." They fitted perfectly. They were white and
matched my top. Now it was time. I turned to look in the mirror.
Although I had seen my progress during my morning, I gasped. A young
woman was looking back at me! But would I pass scrutiny?
The verdict of the women was in no doubt, they wanted to go for lunch
and I was going with them. I wasn't so sure. But if you can't trust your
mum, who can you trust? Christine took out a tote bag from a holdall she
was carrying and handed it to me, and put the clothes and shoes I came
in into the holdall. Mum took my arm and suddenly I was out in the
street. People were passing by, there were no strange looks, the sky
didn't fall in as we headed for a cafe.
I hardly spoke over lunch, although still nervous I wasn't terrified,
but I was conscious of my voice. I'm quite sure if I spoke I would draw
unwanted attention from the cafe staff and customers. I ate very little,
was it my nerves or was I worrying about my figure? Of course mum and
Christine had hearty appetites and chatted all through lunch. "Dad has
booked a restaurant table for tonight," announced mum. "They have a
dress code, so we are going to buy you a suitable outfit."
"But Mum, I can't possibly go to a restaurant dressed as a woman!" I
whispered.
"Of course, you can. Dad will protect you, as he protects your sister
and I. And if it becomes too much or unpleasant we can always leave. And
besides, how are you going to get married if you can't manage a
restaurant?"
"If we can go home at any time, no arguments, then I'll give it a try.
To be honest the thought is quite exciting."
"That's my daughter! Now I have arranged an appointment at a dress shop
this afternoon. You make a convincing young woman, but they do have a
private fitting room, so there is no risk of discovery. Then we will buy
you some shoes. Let's go."
I was apprehensive when we entered the dress shop, but the owner knew
mum and why we were there. I leant later that she asked her which of us
was Ian. I don't know if Christine would have been proud of me, or not
pleased if the owner thought she could have been a man. I later told
her, but she said without hesitation it was because I naturally looked
like a woman.
They went through the rails and selected six dresses of my size. Yes,
six! I am so used to quickly selecting a jacket, say, trying for size
and buying it without further ado. I tried on all six dresses and
paraded around in front of them and the mirrors. They reduced the
selection down to three and I tried them on again. And tell you the
truth, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I was hooked on shopping for
clothes. I liked all three, I looked good. When asked, I couldn't make
up my mind. But after some discussion and plenty of advice I chose a
stunning red dress. Why? Because I thought I was stunning wearing it. I
was my kind of girl. It was knee length, had capped sleeves and a deep
V-neck, but not a plunge neck obviously. It was made of taffeta, but not
the real McCoy so I was told. It fitted me well showing off my bust and
hips. Mum bought a matching evening stole, she said I might need it when
the evening cooled. The dress and stole was put into one of those fancy
dress shop bags and handed to me. I was looking the part.
We next headed for the shoe shop, well actually shops. There was no need
for special arrangements to try on shoes. As she progressed through her
teens, Christine wore higher and higher heels, and I wore them too and
when my feet became too large, mum let me wear hers. I could walk around
in heels back then and I could manage now walking around the shop. In
the end mum advised I should go for no higher than three inches, a
stiletto would be fine but not too thin. Walking on carpet is not the
same as walking from the car park to the restaurant she advised. This
time I chose the shoes, after trying on numerous pairs of course. More
to try the experience of wearing different styles than finding the right
ones. They were red sandals to match the dress, the straps were thin and
included an ankle strap. Christine said they were elegant and that I had
good taste. I told her I had a good teacher. She also said my legs
looked good enough not to need tights. I now had a second bag to carry
as we headed back home.
Dad was gobsmacked when I got back. He could not believe how good
looking I was and he was so looking forward to taking the family out
tonight, but with three gorgeous women instead of the usual two, so he
said.
Mum and Christine went to get ready while I talked to dad. "Well, son.
Charlotte is a wonderful girl and I think you did the right thing in
telling her. And if it means dressing as a bride to get married to her
then you have my whole-hearted support. And I can see you are going to
be a stunning bride everyone can be proud of. If you ever want to talk
man-to-man then you know where to come. Of course, if it's a woman-to-
woman talk, I know your mother would be delighted. But it is your sister
you should confide in and listen to as you make this journey. Trust
her."
"Thanks, Dad."
"Now if you excuse me I must go and get ready. Here's your mother." Mum
was wearing a sparkling black dress that showed off her curves. I was
actually jealous of her figure!
"Okay, Ian, let's get you ready" I followed her up to the spare bedroom.
"First we will freshen your makeup and give you an evening look." She
gave more emphasis to my eyes and applied bright red lip gloss. She then
helped me into my dress and shoes. "You can wear this matching diamond
necklace and bracelet of mine. Too bad you can't wear the earrings,
perhaps we should get your lips pierced. You can carry this red evening
clutch bag. I've slipped some tissues and your lip gloss into it, plus
some cash in case of emergency. You're a woman tonight so don't forget
your bag is part of you. Now let's go down."
Dad and Christine were waiting for us, dad in a smart suit and tie and
Christine in matching tapered trousers, top and bolero jacket, I think
in black satin. She and mum were wearing higher heels than me. Of course
they would. I was determined to out do them at my wedding.
I thought I would be nervous as we entered the restaurant, but was
confident in my appearance as I glided along in my heels with my stole
looped through my arms. Then I realised I had no idea how to walk like a
woman, but wearing heels probably helped. We got admiring glances from
other guests, but I'm sure it was my elegant mother who was the main
attraction.
The evening went well. I don't think I ever enjoyed myself so much.
Dressed to the nines as a woman enjoying a dinner with my loved ones.
Christine took plenty of photos of me and one of the staff took a group
photo, one for the personal family album.
That night mum had laid out one of her nightdresses. It was an ivory
silk slip, it felt wonderful and despite the excitement of the day, or
perhaps because of the excitement, I fell quickly asleep. The following
morning mum brought me in one of her summer dresses.
We had a wonderful Sunday. We had lunch in the garden and Christine
coached me in being more feminine in my demeanour. It was with
reluctance I eventually took off the dress, along with my lingerie,
removed my makeup, put my hair into a low ponytail and drove back to my
flat to be ready for work the following day.
It was on Wednesday when I got a call to go and see Penelope. "Hello,
Ian," she welcomed me into my office, "please have a seat. I expect you
know why you're here." Of course, I do. I know Christine sent her the
photos of my weekend and had a long call with her yesterday.
"Yes, I am hoping for good news."
"Well, there is some good news, but not what you want to hear. You
present as an attractive young woman. You were stunning in the red dress
and looked pretty in the summer dress. But these are only snapshots. On
your wedding day you will need to look and behave as a woman throughout
the celebrations, and you know you're not ready for that."
"So what are you suggesting?"
"I have discussed it with both Charlotte and Christine, and we all want
the best for you. We would like you to undergo voice training and learn
to move and behave as a woman. We also think you need more practice as a
woman." I don't know why, but I became quite excited by the idea. I'm a
perfectionist and I like to get the details right.
"How do I do this?"
"I can arrange for you to see voice training and deportment coaches
after work. Their fees will be funded by the firm under staff
development."
"Thank you, that is very generous."
"Don't worry, we think it is worth it. And when you are not at work you
should live as a woman. Perhaps you can go home at the weekend, from
what Christine told me it is your mother who we need to thank for last
weekend. We will pay you a sum on top of your salary as a de facto
clothing allowance."
"How long will it be before Charlotte will let me know her decision?"
"That depends on how well you get on."
"I will do my best. I really do love and want to marry her."
When I got back to IT Support I rang mum and told her what I had agreed
to. She, of course, had had a call from Christine and was looking
forward to spending another weekend with her newest daughter.
Over the coming months I learnt to sound and speak like a woman and
naturally react to different situations. I could eventually switch
without thought between my male and female voices depending how I was
dressed. Similarly with my movement and behaviour. Christine now took
videos and well as photos and I could see that I was acting more
naturally as a woman. I loved my new female persona and became more
confident when dressed as a woman.
Mum took her task with enthusiasm. At first I wore mainly her clothes,
going through her wardrobe we learnt what styles suited me and I liked.
We went shopping, of course we did, and Christine often joined us. And
over time I built up my own wardrobe, probably bigger than needed. I had
enjoyed being dressed by my sister as a girl and I now enjoyed being
dressed by my mother as a young woman. I was hoping that Charlotte would
allow me to continue dressing after we married, but if not, so be it. I
will be a faithful husband.
After a couple of months, Penelope came to IT Support. My boss was on a
training course and she knew I would be alone. "I could have come to
your office," I told her.
"I'm not here as your employer, I've come to see you as your friend and
future sister-in-law."
"We are very impressed with your progress and Charlotte says to tell you
'yes'." I could tell there was something more so I let her continue. "We
have a proposal for you." I thought so.
"A proposal?"
"You present as a pretty and graceful woman. You have developed a smart
and elegant style like a younger version of your mother. But you would
not make a beautiful and glamorous bride. There is still a risk that you
may slip up and spoil the illusion for us in the know and may upset
those who believe you are a woman. There are some tell-tale signs that
some, especially women, may notice."
"Actually I had been thinking along similar lines, I know I'm not
beautiful and that I would not be able to wear the wedding dress I would
like. I am also prone to the occasional slip up. And I don't want to
spoil Charlotte's day."
"I am surprised and pleased you have the same view. I think, after some
thought, you are going to actually like what we have in mind. To come
straight out with it, between now and the wedding we want you to
undertake hormone therapy. Your skin will become more beautiful, and
your body become more feminine and your hair thicker and more vibrant.
You will develop breasts and curves. And if you want to revert after the
wedding, you can stop the therapy, have a double mastectomy and
liposuction to remove excess fat from your hips and behind."
"You're right, that does need thinking about it, I'll discuss it with
the family this weekend."
"That is not all. You are being made redundant." I was dismayed. "Don't
look worried there's more to come! While you are undergoing therapy you
will live full-time as a woman. It will give you time to improve your
appearance, your nails and hair, for example, and allow for effects of
the therapy to show. You will, of course, immerse yourself in femininity
and move towards perfection."
"I will tell you now, I can do that! It is coming to work that would
have prevented it. With no job I can move back home and develop and
practise being a woman all week without embarrassment."
"I may be making you redundant, but that is for show. If you agree,
after a suitable time to prepare yourself, you can return to the store
to work in the Ladies' Department. I can protect you and there is no
need to explain your situation."
I couldn't really believe what she just offered me. "Thank you! Much as
I like being at home with mum, I enjoy working here and if I can do it
while living fulltime as a woman that would be wonderful."
"That is why I had the idea, but I have another reason. The department
was once our most profitable division and Charlotte was going to spend
some time there to assess how we can improve its performance. As you can
be mistaken for Charlotte I want you to take her place. But to avoid any
problems, if it was discovered there are two 'Charlottes', you will use
her given name, you will be Helen Holden. Charlotte prefers to use her
middle name. I will not deny that you are not Charlotte, neither will I
confirm it. And as a member of the family, as such, you should be
treated with respect." This is getting better and better. If I can't be
with Charlotte until we are married, then taking her place is the next
best thing.
"I'll try my best and hope I don't let you and Charlotte down."
"I'm confident you won't. As I said we are impressed with your style and
we think it chimes with our more affluent fashionable clientele,
including women of your age. We will supply you with clothes for work,
you will be modelling clothes for the business woman, and your salary
will be consummate with the needs of a changed lifestyle. But it will be
conditional on you undergoing therapy. As a firm, although traditional
in our ways, we are an inclusive employer, but not all our customers are
of the same mind."
"I have an interest in women's clothing, being honest about it is how we
got here, and I believe I would prefer working in fashion that in IT.
But as I said I need to think about taking hormones. I will give you my
decision on Monday. Can I see Charlotte now?"
"Remember, it is a condition that you cannot see her until the wedding
day, so sorry, but it will be worth the wait. And, Ian, before you come
and join us as Helen, dye and style your hair to match your new
identity. Your long ponytail is well known among the staff. We don't
want them noticing that Helen Holden has the same hair as Ian Somerset
who used to work in IT!"
"I've always wanted to be a blond like Charlotte."
"See you Monday, have a nice weekend."
I had already made up my mind. I was going to accept, but my family's
view was important and they had to understand the consequences. When I
revert, if I do that is, there will be changes that cannot be undone.
But to have breasts and look more beautiful was irresistible. We did
discuss it long and hard that weekend. I got the impression that mum and
Christine were excited about the idea and had really bought into this
project of turning me into a bride, but mum did wonder if it would
diminish the prospects of her becoming a grandmother. Dad would support
my decision. But they spent the weekend playing devil's advocate, just
to ensure I made the right decision. I told Penelope on Monday and mum
made an appointment for me at her hairdressers for next Saturday. I gave
my landlord notice and found another flat nearby, it would be less
complicated than staying on as a woman and I could now afford a more
expensive flat with my new salary. The new flat would not be available
for a month and I would start work once I had moved in. It was in a new
riverside development, which I thought suited the modern young woman I
was to be for a while. I moved back home for the time being.
Penelope took me down to see the Head of the Ladies' Department. "Mrs
Winters, this is Helen Holden who I spoke to you about."
"Good morning, Miss Holden, a pleasure to meet you. I hope you enjoy
your time in my department." She never said 'my' department when I was
in IT. Perhaps she sees me as a threat, after all I am supposed to be a
member of the family who owns the store.
"I've been looking forward to it," I replied with a smile.
"Can you sort something out from our stock for her to wear to work
tomorrow. I would like her to showcase something that would appeal to a
young professional or career woman. And of course please show her around
the department and show her where the facilities are. For your
information, she has been given privileged access to the Director's
floor." As a family member I could access the Director's floor without
invitation, but it meant I did not need to use the ladies' toilets in
the store. Better to be safe than sorry.
"Certainly, Mrs Shields. She will be a wonderful model, such a brilliant
idea." Was she fawning, but I was proud of my appearance today. I was
wearing one of mum's old suits. It was smart and retro and was perfect,
we thought. And Penelope complimented on our choice when we met in her
office. I was wearing a black knee-length pencil skirt with a short kick
pleat so I could move more easily around the store, with a matching
blazer in a long length over a white silk top with a relaxed fit. Black
sheer tights and three inch court shoes. I wore no jewellery, except for
small diamond studs in my recently pierced ears. My hair had indeed been
dyed blond and hung in long wavy tresses, some staff thought I was
Charlotte back from leave. I was delighted they mistook me for her, I
did look like her as you know. It was never denied that I wasn't Bob
Holden's daughter working in the department covertly.
I found my vocation in the Ladies' Department, I didn't work as a sales
or stock girl, other than for on-the-job training, but was a personal
style consultant. After time the word spread and the number of affluent
style-conscious customers increased. Penelope was pleased, it was an
unexpected side benefit to my real purpose for working there. I also was
an attraction to male visitors to the department, I learnt to gently let
them down. I was engaged and not interested in men. In the end I bought
myself an 'engagement' ring, it did the trick. Of course I was supposed
to be a Holden so it had to be expensive, even with a staff discount. It
was exquisite with a larger diamond set in a cluster of smaller ones.
Charlotte, who the staff believed I was, would have worn an engagement
ring if she is going to return to work as a married woman and I intend
to give her the ring I was now wearing.
Six months had flown by and the hormone therapy had had the desired
effect. My skin positively glowed and I had breasts and curves just like
Charlotte's. I was sitting in the Director's lounge having a coffee and
making notes on how I thought the Ladies' Department should develop, a
sort-of-end-of-term report, when Penelope came to join me.
"Hello Helen," she called me Helen in the store but still Ian outside.
My own family still called me Ian, but introduced me as their daughter
Helen. "What are you writing? I thought you, as a one-time IT geek,
would have been using a tablet."
"I prefer pen and paper when I'm jotting down thoughts. These are my
ideas for the future of fashion at Holdens."
"I would like to hear about your them, but I've got some news you might
be interested in. I've heard through the grapevine that you have been
unofficially voted the most beautiful member of the staff. Holdens
cannot condone such sexist behaviour, of course, but we concur. I think
you are ready to be the beautiful bride, how can we not agree with such
an independent assessment? And I haven't heard any suspicions from staff
or customers that you are not who you are supposed to be. I have talked
with Christine and Charlotte and they both agree. But there is one more
request. Perhaps you can come into my office." There is always one more
thing, I thought, would I ever marry my beloved?
"Charlotte has been having second thoughts." I knew something like this
may happen in the end. But hopefully I can keep my job. I love living
and working as a woman in fashion. "She has decided she can't marry a
man dressed as a woman, but she wants to marry a woman. She loves you
very much, absence has truly made the heart fonder, and she has been
excited about your transformation." I was about to express my
disappointment when she shushed me. "She wants you to go the whole hog
and become a woman and her wife."
"What do you mean, the whole way?" I stuttered.
"To put it bluntly, to complete your transition to female by undertaking
gender reassignment surgery." I didn't respond straight away, I had to
think carefully about what I was going to say.
"I have come to realise I like the life I now lead and that I have been
transgender all along. My experiences of the last year have awoken the
woman inside me. But I love Charlotte and she is the only one for me. So
if she wants me to become a woman and still marry me, then that would be
the most wonderful thing that could happen!"
"Do you want to talk to your family?"
"I've already talked to them about wanting to have the operation, but
for the love of your sister I put it out of my mind. So no need, I know
they would support me."
"Okay. I'll arrange for your operation and once we know when you should
be fully recovered we can confirm the wedding date. Tie up your things
here, go and see your family and then prepare to go into the clinic."
"What about the wedding arrangements?"
"Leave that to us. We will consult you of course and will not do
anything you don't want to. Meanwhile, concentrate on completing your
transformation and deciding on your wedding dress, evening gown, after-
party dress, your hen-party, pre-wedding family dinner outfit, your
going away outfit, your wedding night lingerie and the clothes for your
honeymoon. With your expertise that won't take long!"
"And I was just expecting to wear a wedding dress!"
"I will set up a charge account, all your and your family's outfits will
be courtesy of Holdens. Our parents are the owners after all.
Mum and Christine were very very excited about the wedding, of course
they would be, my mum just didn't expect to be a mother-of-the-bride so
soon. Christine was still single and didn't seem to be in a rush. We
arranged to meet Penelope and her mum, Julie, at the store after closing
time so we can have the run of the Ladies' Department. We had a lot of
dresses to try on and choose from. Mrs Holden also brought her
housekeeper, Maeve, which I thought was a bit odd until Penelope said
she had been invited to the wedding. Although she was not a relative,
she was a part of the family. In the end it took us three evenings. I
heard that Mrs Winters was not happy, it was possibly the thought of
lost sales and not being needed because of me.
"Helen, would you like to design your gown?" asked Penelope.
"But I've never designed a dress before, and we have a wonderful
selection in our Bridal Shop.
"I was looking through your ideas for the Department and I think the
proposal to launch our own exclusive range was well worth considering."
"Thank you, I think it is important that the designs are created in-
house based on our clientele's aspirations, and not just adding our
label to bought-in garments."
"I concur, whole heartedly, so I'm going to set up a project team
tomorrow to undertake a trial to design and produce some samples. I have
named it 'Project Julie' after your mum. It is clear she has been a
major influence with your fashion sense, just like a mother and
daughter. You will lead the team and I will manage the project and the
first dresses will be your wedding gown, Christine's bridesmaid dress
and my wedding outfit. There should be enough time, and if not we would
still have the stock to choose from. We will have to choose the other
outfits and dresses from stock or our existing suppliers."
"But won't that let our secret out and draw attention to the wedding,
you know how fast rumours spread among the staff."
"It will be a confidential project, so not to let our competitors know,
and we will tell the team that we are keeping it in-house and we will be
the models."
"I know our existing stock and none of the bridal gowns really appealed
to me. I'm so excited."
"I agree, I couldn't find a 'special occasions' outfit and that's when
the idea came to me."
"What about Christine, she is not staff."
"We will say we engaged her as a consultant."
"She would like that!"
For the first event, I didn't need a new dress, I was going to wear that
red dress, the one I wore when dad took us to dinner. As it was my hen
do, I thought it was fitting that the dress I was wearing when I ended
my short period of being a single woman was the one I wore when it all
ended, being single woman that is. One of Christine's childhood dresses
doesn't really count! But imagine my surprise when I tried it on and
found it didn't fit. I was much more slender now although the fit around
my hips was better. I took it to our instore seamstress and she altered
it. It fitted me like a glove and no control garments this time.
My chief bridesmaid, mind you she was the only one, Christine booked a
table for five us at a Michelin star restaurant; mum, Julie, Christine,
Penelope and me. Mum cried when she saw me in the red dress. "Darling I
thought that dress was stunning on you when you first wore it, but you
are so beautiful tonight. I can't imagine you were ever my, well you
know what."
During the evening, I asked Penelope whether Charlotte was having her
own hen party. She looked puzzled at first. "Our dads and Tony, my
husband, are having dinner at dad's club and Charlotte has joined them."
We were invited to stay at the Holden family home for the wedding.
Charlotte stayed in a garden annex, usually used for guests. Penelope
said that the last remaining condition meant that I wouldn't see her
until tomorrow. We arrived in time for the evening meal. It was warm
enough to be outside on this long summer evening. I was relieved that
the evening was going to be very casual and not a formal dinner as
Penelope first suggested. I wore an off-the-shoulder loose jumper over a
vest with a pair of skinny jeans. And no makeup.
The following day, us ladies, including Maeve, gathered in one of the
reception rooms to get ready. Penelope arranged for a hairdresser and a
beautician to attend; they were not from the store, to keep the wedding
very private.
I wasn't sure what Charlotte was expecting, and with assurances from
Penelope and Christine, I had chosen to wear bridal lingerie. I wanted
the full bridal experience even with only witnesses limited to the
immediate families. I chose a set, in white satin and lace, of bra,
corset with suspenders, camisole and knickers. Not my usual style, and
who knows, it might even excite Charlotte.
We successfully completed 'Project Julie'. Christine and Penelope were
standing on chairs lowering the first exclusive Holdens garment, my
wedding dress, over my raised arms. I slipped my arms through as they
settled the dress and pulled up the zip. I kept the design simple;
modern yet classic. The bodice was boned and fitted snuggly. The dress
had a full skirt that flared off my hips to reach the floor. I wore an
underskirt to give a ball-gown shape. At the back, the skirt was gently
gathered to suggest a bustle. There was no train. The short sleeves were
off the shoulder and the neckline was straight. The cut and fit
emphasised my feminine figure, despite the legacy of growing up a man.
My sister and my sister-in-law-to-be, after much fiddling around,
pronounced themselves satisfied. They put on my veil and then helped me
into my shoes. They were court shoes and matched my dress. The five inch
heels were very slender and the toe was pointed. I had to convince mum
and Christine that I could wear them and I insisted. They had settled on
four inch heels, but I had decided, during that first evening at the
restaurant, to out do them! And no platforms. Mind you it helped wearing
a larger size shoe. Of course they were out of sight under the dress,
but perhaps they may be seen when I sit. I wore a simple traditional
diamond necklace that used to belong to my great grandmother, mum's
maternal grandmother. Hopefully Christine will wear it one day when she
gets married. I wore no other jewellery, not even the pretend engagement
ring that Charlotte hadn't given me. Finally, I pulled on elbow gloves
that matched the dress and picked up my bouquet.
With a final check of my simple make up and hair, which now reached down
to my waist, I was ready. The girls called dad and left me with him.
There is a Victorian family chapel in the grounds of the estate. The
Holdens, as residents on the estate, had the right to use it. The chapel
could accommodate us comfortably as the wedding party is confined to the
two immediate families and Maeve, the registrar and photographer. Being
only a short distance from the house it was an ideal private venue.
I was waiting outside the chapel having walked from the house with dad
and Christine, fortunately the path was paved with smooth flagstones.
Christine and I had to lift my dress and dad carried my bouquet, but I
could walk in my heels much to my relief. Mum was inside with the Holden
family and I was told Charlotte was waiting too, one of us had to be. I
was secretly pleased that I was the one entering the chapel to the
wedding march. I heard the strains of the music, our signal to enter.
Michelle adjusted my dress and lowered my veil, I took dad's arm and we
slowly entered the chapel in time to the music, then I halted. There was
a man in a suit and a long ponytail standing at the altar. The man
turned and I saw myself, or rather how I used to look. Michelle
whispered in my ear. "Keep going, it's Charlotte, she's changed sides
and is now the groom." What did she mean 'changed sides'? To the groom's
side of the chapel? I was puzzled but no one could see because of my
veil.
When I reached the altar, dad had kept me going, Charlotte lifted my
veil and I could clearly see her grinning face. She must have bound her
breasts and added some padding because she had the body of a man. But
she hadn't cut her hair. I didn't know what was going on but I was so
desperate to marry her I just let the ceremony begin.
"Ian Somerset, do you take Helen Charlotte Holden to be your lawfully
wedded wife?"
I was about to answer when I heard a man's voice answer '"I do." It was
Charlotte!
"Helen Charlotte Holden, do you take Ian Somerset to be your lawfully
wedded husband?"
There was silence, and then Christine nudged me and whispered. "Say, I
do!"
I heard a woman's voice say "I do". It was me. Charlotte then placed a
ring on my finger. Only later did I notice how exquisite it was. It
would go well with my faux engagement ring, Charlotte must have checked
the sales records.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Charlotte leaned forward, took me in her arms and kissed me. The
memories of why I loved her came rushing back. Our families burst into
rapturous applause.
After all the photographs had been taken, I took Charlotte aside and we
went to sit on a bench. "Have we just changed sides?"
"Yes, I'm now Ian Somerset and I have transitioned to a man. I had the
operation at the same time as you did and I have your testicles inside
my new scrotum, I'm no longer a woman. I was taking hormones over the
same period as you and had my breasts removed. Other than not being able
to produce any sperm, your old balls are no longer working of course, I
am all man."
"That's wonderful, not about producing sperm, I can't bear children any
way, but you have become a man so we can still be husband and wife. And
amazingly, I look like you did and you look like I did, even the
ponytail."
"That was easy, I didn't cut my hair, I just dyed it and kept to a plain
style. When I first met you, when you came to fix my computer, I fell in
love with you at first sight. I later realised at first it was because I
saw in you what I would look like as a man."
"So what happens now?"
"I'm going to get my first man's haircut. I only kept my hair this long
to look like the old you. During my leave of absence from the department
store, and being separated from you, I've been shadowing dad in running
the business, working in our office here. It had always been the
intention for Penelope and I to take over when he stepped down. I was
discussing with dad, mum and Penelope your revelation that you had
dressed in girl's clothing, they said that they would welcome you into
our family whatever your gender. Loving each other was the most
important thing. And then dad said casually, anyway we two looked so
much alike that if you became a woman I could become a man and we can
swap identities and nobody would notice. I gave it some thought and
decided that I was not going to stop you from dressing, if that is what
you wanted to do, and I would marry you whatever. I talked through my
ideas with Penelope and Christine."
"My sister was involved in all this?"
"Yes, because she knew you better than anyone else and could look after
your interests. She thought you may be transgender but you were in
denial or had suppressed the feeling. It was the way you responded and
what you said during the years you dressed in her clothes. When she
first met me she thought I was you and you had decided to dress as a
woman. It was only when you came through the door after me that she
realised she was mistaken. She thought at the time you may not be in
love with me, but with the woman you could become. We decided to see
what you really wanted, but you had to decide on your own. So you were
presented with a series of opportunities for you to progress to becoming
a woman. You could have stopped at any point and I would have married
you whether you were a crossdresser, dormant or active, or as a man
living as a woman. But if you transitioned I knew I would do so as well,
because I wanted a marriage between a man and a woman. Of course, your
final decision was when you said 'I do'. Perhaps we should have let you
choose before you reached the altar, but I was scared, having changed
gender as well, that you may have only wanted to marry me as Charlotte."
"I only ever wanted to marry you, Charlotte, but it doesn't matter to me
whether you were a girl or a boy. It just has to be you. Now when are
you going to finish answering my question!"
"Sorry, we have formally swapped identities. You are now Helen Charlotte
Stevens, nee Holden. I'm Ian Somerset. After the honeymoon, you will
return to Holdens taking up my, that is Charlotte Holden's, position in
management. You proved yourself during your time in the Ladies'
Department. As an apparent new member of the family, I, as Ian Stevens,
now your husband, will rejoin the firm. I will be heading up a project
to bring the Holdens into the digital age. I'm going to need your help!
But don't forget I'm supposed to be the geek who once worked in IT.
After a while dad will step down and I will take over as the Board Chair
and Penelope will become Managing Director, but we will run the business
together. And you my dear will become Head of Fashion and join the
board. Unless you want to rejoin the IT Section, which since you left
has only one staff member. The vacancy was held by a man called Ian
Somerset. He's doing rather well since he left I believe."
"Head of Fashion will be perfect!" I gave him a kiss. "I think we need
to sort something out about our names, do I still call you Charlotte?" I
asked.
"Mum still calls me Charlotte, but I'm Ian now. To avoid any confusion
just call me Ian. And remember I'm now John Holden's new son-in-law. And
you my dear are Helen Charlotte Holden, John Holden's daughter and my
dear wife. I shall call you Helen. Another reason you were Helen in the
Ladies' Department was in case it didn't work out. I could then stay as
Charlotte Holden and you have stayed working for us as Helen Holden,
John Holden's niece. We would have been kissing cousins. Got it?"
"I like Helen, I'm sticking to it. By the way my mum still calls me Ian
when we are on our own. But I'm not Charlotte Helen Holden, I'm Mrs
Helen Somerset so I'm still a member of my real family, but now the
daughter-in-law and no longer the son, that's you."
"This changing gender thing is a bit too complicated! I'm Ian, you're
Helen, we just need our mums to fall in line! We can call both sets of
parents, mum and dad, that will make them happy. They can then still
recognise their own.
I hugged him and gave him a deep kiss, our third kiss as man and wife
and when we recovered I asked. "And what if I hadn't gone through with
it? About being married that is."
"We will not have registered the marriage. And you will be Ian, a single
woman, and I, Charlotte, a single man."
"Don't start again! I've made my vows, I'm your wife for life. And
besides tonight I am looking forward to consummating our marriage. I
have a new vagina and I haven't tried it out yet! And I would like to
get reacquainted with my balls!"
"And I have a new penis, I am keen to find out what it is like having
changed sides."