The Book of Eros and The Curse of the Gifted
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He stood before me, silver hair glistening in the moonlight. I’m not sure what made me think he was a male but I knew that he was. His yellow eyes staring at me, yet they were softened and full of expectations rather than curiosity one would find in most wolves. From my position on the ground, he stood tall and proud, only his head inclined towards me. I also knew he was not here to harm me, but I did not know for what reason he was standing before me.
Slowly I rolled over and rose up finding that he still hadn’t moved a muscle except to now look up into my eyes. From this angle I could see black hair mixed into the sliver to give it more depth and beauty. Not knowing what to do I looked at the wolf and stuck out my hand as one would to a dog. He bent forward to touch his nose to my hand but still did not break eye contact, to me it felt as though a hand shake between humans, not one of an animal sniffing at a human.
I wanted to say something but not anything demeaning as this was not just an animal that you would say ‘good boy’ to. Deciding that I should speak to him as one would to a human, except in yes or no format. ‘Do you want me?’ The wolf lowered and raised his muzzle, I could see his teeth flash in the moonlight, but I took it for a yes. ‘Is there something you want me to do?’ Again a yes, but what I was having a hard time figuring out until he glanced over his shoulder and looked back to me. ‘Do you want me to follow you?’ His ears perked forward and he nodded, then turning he started walking away.
I looked to my meager campsite and decided I didn’t care too much if I lost any of it, as long as I got to follow my wolf. Funny that already I was thinking him to be my wolf when I’ve only seen him for so little amount of time, but I did. Soon we veered off the trail but he knew that I could not follow him just anywhere and gave me a trail that was large and tall enough for a human. I watched him walk confidently, his sharp ears picking up the sounds of the other animals in the semi-darkness that was this night. Glad I was for the moon or I would have had a hard time keeping him in my vision and walking through the densely packed woods.
Suddenly he stopped and for the first time looked back at me although he knew I was doing just fine by my footsteps. We had come to a tree line, in the clearing stood a man, a human man, looking straight at us. He wore a traveler’s cloak and had with him a walking stick but seem to have it only to help pick out a trail rather then to lean against. The man raised his hand in greeting and the wolf approached, leaving me behind. The wolf looked to the man and with a slight shift of his body indicted back to where I stood watching in awe. I could hear the man talk to the wolf, just the sound of his voice carried this far, it was gentle like the wolf’s eyes had been, but also had a feeling of authority.
Suddenly the man looked up and in a louder voice that carried easily to me, ‘It’s alright, Varden was looking for you for me.’ Instantly I looked at the wolf, Varden, it fit him perfectly, and I found myself walking forward to greet the man. My head was screaming for me to stop and run back to the safety of my camp but somehow I knew it was meant that I should be here talking with them. As I approached I noticed that the man was not young and hasn’t been for years but also could not be called elderly as he was quite healthy. There was wit and enjoyment dancing from his eyes as I came close, as if he could not believe that I had followed Varden.
Looking him in those merry eyes, not really noticing the lines that radiated from them, ‘Ummm, hello sir. Varden is a beautiful wolf.’ Not knowing what else to say without asking a thousand questions.
The man smiled, ‘Yes he is, he has been a fine companion these long years and I’m sure that he feels the same.’ I glanced at Varden and could almost see the hint of a smile if wolves could smile. ‘I’m Diarmuid as I’m sure you are wondering who I am, but I do know you Gwendolyn.’
‘How?’ That being the only question I could form, I wasn’t technically being chased but I had been on the run for many of the summer months now. I looked at him closer and although he looked like someone I would like he did not seem familiar to me.
‘There are many ways to know information and I just have one of those special gifts that allow me easier access. But before we dither into that more would you like to accompany me to that which I call home, I’m sure you are cold.’
I looked down at my threadbare clothes that have served me all these weeks on the move and until he mentioned it I had not noticed the chill seeping into my bones. ‘Yes and thank you Diarmuid, I will kindly accept your offer with many thanks.’
I sly smile came to his lips as he knew that I desired what information he held, wither it’s about my rocky past or my uncertain future. As it was he started to walk toward the end of the clearing towards the moon and I hurried to follow glad that Varden was beside me. A small hill was at the far end now visible as we came closer and into the side was a doorway and window, a small chimney issued out a lazy wisp of smoke.
Diarmuid opened the door and allowed me to step inside, just as my breath was taken away, the walls were covered with wood beautifully kept, the shine reflecting the glow from the fire. The furniture though simple was made with such skill I had not thought possible to find except in a palace. Everything was clean that the effect was one that made me stop in my tracts, of course that meant that I was blocking those behind me.
‘I know it’s a bit surprising for an old man like me, but I do have a certain lifestyle I do like to keep and I’m not yet ready to give it up. Nevertheless make yourself at home, please take the first seat that takes your fancy.’ Giving me a gentle nudge from behind Varden went to a sheepskin laid before the fireplace and curled into a ball. I moved forward and was drawn to a rocking chair near the fire that was carved full of designs that I couldn’t quite make out in the light of the fire. Diarmuid gave a small chuckle underneath his breath as he entered and removed his cloak and set a kettle of water to warm, before taking a seat across from me.
In this light the lines of his face were thrown into deep relief, but it added to his overall wonder of him and what he intended me to know. ‘How did you make a hill appear so beautiful underneath?’
He laughed outright, ‘I’m surprised you did not ask the other thousand questions burning at your mind, but I shall answer as best as I can. The hill was here but it was also a cave of sorts I just improved on the angles and added the wood to make it less of a den and more of a home. The furniture you see has been acquired over the many years I have been walking this land.’
‘Oh well it is lovely you know.’ Not sure how to start asking him I looked to the kettle.
Noticing where my eyes wondered he rose to get some cups and he poured both of us the boiling water. Taking the cup from him I detected some herbs I knew and others I had never smelled before seeping to make the tea. ‘It will strengthen you and remove the chill, I do not think you have had quite this type before,’ Diarmuid assumed rightly enough. ‘Now I am sure that you are wondering how I know of you and what I do know of you.’
‘Yes I was wondering on that,’ excitement and relief in my voice, from wanting to know and not knowing how to ask myself.
‘As you should, however what I would have you know first is that I would love to guide you in your journeys. You were in the right to leave those that would use you or sell you, for I can also tell that you would have never bent to their wills.
‘I know you because I know of your once mother whom gave her life to give you yours. She was a great person and was one that always did right not just for herself as so many of us do, but for everyone. What you may not have known is that she was
a great friend of mine and we had shared many a story back in those days. Do not look at me that way, I am not your father nor was I ever her lover, just good friends as ones were back in those days. She had a special gift also, one of healing, she could heal anything as long as the soul was still within the flesh. But it took a lot out of her to do so, so often she did not use it unless other healing methods were not helping the poor soul.
‘Now you should know that she loved your father with all of her heart, often I would see their eyes met from across the yard or such and one could see the love flowing between them. However one day came when she was large with child, you in fact, she had been out gathering wild nuts from the woods near the homestead. Back at the homestead your father and some of the neighbors were helping him raise a barn, they had to just lever the sides up and tack them together. However there was a fray in the rope that they had been using and it had given way at the worse possible moment, and your father had been caught under it. The neighbors were able to free him but the damage was done and they did not possess the healing ability to save him, only to make him comfortable until he would be freed from all pain.
‘Now your mother was also great at knowing when something was happening, she rushed home dropping her finds along the way. She found him on a pallet in the yard and sent the others away, they thought she just wanted time to bid him farewell. She was going to use her gift to try and heal him, but what she didn’t want to believe was that he was already past her abilities as his soul had departed from incident. She tried so hard to heal him that she used much of her life-force but to no avail, he took his last breath and was still. The neighbors heard her scream and came running finding her fainted over his corpse, they carefully lifted her and took her inside and began his burial rights.
‘She came to but was weak and found that they had already placed him on the pyre, she was so heartbroken that she came into labor too soon. Two days later, she told the midwife that had come that she had so little life to give that she was to give it to you so that you would survive for how soon you came, and to call you Gwendolyn. With that last whisper she gave one push and you were born and she passed on. Surprisingly enough you were born healthy, and although smaller then some, you never were any different than babes born at the right time. The midwife put it down as your mother not knowing when you were due, but I always knew that she infused you with life her finial gift to you.
‘I was not around to take you nor would I have known what I babe needed, so once your neighbors contacted your next of kin, you were given to them. They had known of your mother’s gifts, and tried to abuse them before she ran to your father. They were hoping that you also had some gift that they could also use, and to train you early to become their tool, but you proved to be more like your mother I’m glad to see. I know that you are gifted but I have yet to know what gift.’ Diarmuid sipped some of his tea, letting the story wash over me.
‘I never knew.’ Tears were playing at the corners of my eyes, ‘they only ever told me that he died just before she gave birth to me and she then died just after. I never knew.’
‘I know child, but they didn’t want you to know the love that they had nor the love she had for you. It would have hurt their cause but I think you have a right to know, the neighbors were willing enough to tell the story to me. I am sorry I did not find you sooner, but I had been elsewhere in my travels and did not know of your fate.’
‘That is fine I was a happy babe and I knew no different than what was before me. They were not that bad to me, I did my chores they set before me without much thought. It wasn’t until recent that they started harrying me about anything special.’ I paused reliving those last few weeks at the farmstead, tears leaking from the corners of my eyes.
He nodded, ‘Yes they were testing you trying to guess your gift, but you ran before they could, didn’t you.’
I looked down into my cup and hoped that my voice wouldn’t crack, ‘No they never learned anything, and I was so tired of their trials that I packed what I could one night and ran in the light of the moon. I thought for so many weeks that they were searching for me to take me back, I never stayed in one camp for long. However you seem to be the only one that has found me.’
‘Alas I am the only one searching, they tried following you for a few days but lack the skills to track such a wilily beast as you.’ He smiled at me, ‘So they packed up and declared that you had perished in the woods after running from them, so you needed worry no one believes that you are even alive.’
As sad as that sounded that everyone that I had known no longer thinks am alive, I was happy to be so free. After so many months of running and hiding from my old life I was now free to start another. Yawning I felt the fire warming my outsides and the hot tea was warming my innards, the lack of sleep started to make my eyes droop.
Something Diarmuid hadn’t failed to notice, ‘My I have kept you awake for far too long, I shall show you to your bed.’ Standing up he started towards a door opposite of where we entered and following I noticed a small hallway leading to two bedrooms. Diarmuid waited just inside the door to the first bedroom, ‘Feel free to make it your home, although I realize that you have brought very little with you, anything in here is for your use.’
I looked him in his cheery eyes, ‘Thank you so very much for your truth and hospitality.’
He waved his hand, ‘What is hospitality but treating others as you wish to be treated in their situation. Now sleep well and if you need for anything I am just across the hall.’ And with that he closed the door.
Looking around the room I noticed a small basin with water and upon closer inspection was also scented with herbs, there was also a cloth to wash with. Thank the Goddess that he is so kind and knowing what I need. I stripped out of my traveling clothes and found they were shredded just from that much abuse, but he must have also known I would need something better to sleep in as there was a shift laid across the bed. Clean and dressed in new clothes I fell into a deep slumber as soon as the blanket covered me.
I awoke the next morning not knowing how late it was as there wasn’t a window in this bedroom under the hill, so I got up and realized that my old clothing could not be worn again. I did notice a small trunk in the corner and opened it hoping that I could wear something found in there. Luck was with me and I found a petit set of pants and a top to replace those I had just lost, and they fit me as though they were made for me. Making my way back to the main room I found Diarmuid making breakfast but Varden was no where to be found. ‘Where is Varden?’
Diarmuid looked up slightly startled as though he hadn’t heard me coming, ‘Oh he comes and goes as he pleases, I’m sure he’s out hunting and will be back sometime. Don’t think of him as my pet, he’s a cohort of mine and we both enjoy each other, but if he chose to move on I would not hold him back.’ He brought the food to the small table in the corner and motioned me to join him. ‘I can communicate with animals, which is how I found out that you were still alive and doing rather well actually. Most of the birds come by here and I talk to those that I can, otherwise sometimes a fox or rabbit, but they tend to be skittish even with me.’
I looked up from my food, ‘So that’s your gift?’
He gave a little chuckle, ‘Yes that is my gift and I’m lucky that it’s all that I was gifted with or I would not be here today.’ I gave him a surprised look and he continued, ‘I can talk with the animals but I can’t command them. Some people tried using me for their purposes, but all my gift is useful for is spying and then that’s o
nly if I talk to animals that were observant enough to notice human things. I could ask animals to go and look for things, but most didn’t want to or were too afraid of the humans to even get close. So I escaped and they didn’t seem to look for me or at least they never found me.’
Chewing on my breakfast I thought about all he just told me, ‘So this is why you live out here without much contact with others, so they can’t find you?’
‘Yes you could say that, it was truer in the beginning, but anymore I am used to the life I have created for myself.’ He looked back down to his food.
Letting the story soak in I didn’t answer right away, ‘I could use your help but I don’t want to be an intrusion to you either.’
Diarmuid gave a hardy laugh, ‘I doubt you will ever be called an intrusion by anyone.’
‘Well my kin might think differently than you.’ I looked back to my food.
His voice turned kind, ‘Would you like to tell me what you have been truly running from, Gwendolyn?’
I decided to tell him my story as he was so kind to tell me my beginning, ‘Well they never treated me with kindness but were never cruel until the very end. Then it was as though they were setting me challenges that I could never actually finish. Once they made me try to pick all the apples from the orchard in a day, but I only got a few trees done. They cut me once and told me to make it stop bleeding but I couldn’t and they had to sew me. They told me to move a wood pile but I couldn’t lift the bottom logs. They told me to guess the number in their mind but often I couldn’t guess right and they got mad at me. Every time I failed they would get mad and tell me what use was I. There were so many different things they had me do that I cannot remember them all, but none of the outcomes seemed to make them happy.
‘What they didn’t know was that I had always helped them with the crops.’ I noticed his eyebrow arch but said nothing so I continued, ‘I guess it started one day in very early spring, I saw the start of a plant that would be the first flower of the spring. I so wanted it to grow and bloom that I suddenly felt different and it was growing very quickly and flowered in less then a moment. I was so excited that I started dancing and singing so happy that spring was coming. However at the same time my adopted brother ran and told my kin that he had found it. Which was a good thing in the end, although I was very jealous of him at the time, until they challenged him and found that he had no gift. He just told them that he found it and that it must be a good field spot. From then on I never told anyone what I could do but I did help the crops grow in our fields. Ours always did the best no matter the weather due to me, but my kin thought that they just had the best lands and often boasted to the neighbors. I never did any thing that would be too noticeable from then on until I couldn’t stand their tests and ran from them. Which I have been doing all summer long, but I think I’ve been doing pretty well.’
He chuckles, ‘I think you did better then ‘pretty well’, you made it many, many miles throughout the summer. Plus you don’t look malnourished or too worse for wear, but I have heard from the birds some of the things that have been happening by you.’ His eyes sparkle with joy, ‘The way berries form on the bushes out of season or moss forming rapidly in random spots.’
I blushed a bit, ‘Yes that was me, I used my gift more this summer then ever in my life.’
‘I would like to help you train and find the limits of your gifts. You could stay here over the winter and in the spring I know of many other gifted souls that you could meet if you so wanted. You could stay that I find it gratifying to help others find their gift’s limits and to work on the ease of use.’
I thought through his proposition and it seemed so very kind, he would shelter me through the winter, help me train and let me meet his friends. ‘I wouldn’t want to be a burden to you, I would be able to help in anything you needed me to do.’
Dottie
- 12.06.2020
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