Dharma WheelChapter 9
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June 8
Bow chicka wow wow Em mouths as I make my way to the dining table out group has taken over. It’s 7:30 in the morning and I’m beyond exhausted. Every muscle hurts, I can barely keep my eyes open, and the five minute shower I took did nothing for my bed head. Look up the definition of ridden hard and put away wet and you will see my picture.
‘So not funny,’ I say as I set my tray down and all but inhale my breakfast. Joanna, one of the program directors, interrupts the morning conversation to announce we leave in ten minutes and I eat faster.
‘It’s not going to run away,’ Kate says, smile turning to a grimace as she lays her head on the table and moans.
‘Drank too much?’
She nods. ‘Pretty sure my liver went to find a new owner.’
‘Dude, that—’
‘Don’t even think you’re getting out of telling us what happened yesterday Ms. I’m Not Coming Home,’ Em interrupts with a pointed fork. ’50 euros or no?’
I hold out my hand and she laughs loudly, drawing everyone’s attention. ‘Calm down before Joanna and Zayne come over here.’
She takes it from a ten to a five. ‘So how was it?’
Zora chimes in, ‘The first time is always the worst. Nick lasted about ten seconds.’
I choke. ‘Only ten?’
‘How long did Leo last?’
‘More than ten.’
‘Details,’ Em hisses.
‘He was—it was—’ I try to find the right words, but they all pale in comparison. ‘Do you remember your favorite book?’
She frowns. ‘Yeah…’
‘The first page hooks you, and the story is full of twists and turns, like every new page inspires a new emotions. For part of the story you have no clue what’s going on and then it clicks and it works and it’s fantastic. And the ending is perfect and satisfying and you read it again and it’s even better than the first time. You learn new things and everything starts to make sense and you get new ideas and—God, no matter how many times you read, it’s always a little different, and really good, and when it ends it’s satisfying as fuck.’
The table’s silent, mouths open, eyes wide. Em lifts her head, ‘Only you would compare reading to sex. Freakin’ saiposexuals.’
I finish off my blood sausage. ‘But am I wrong?’
‘Considering two of us are virgins the answer is yes, you’re wrong,’ Kate says the words at the table. ‘And I think you’re making some of that up.’
‘I am not.’
‘Are too.’
‘Children,’ Zora interrupts, patting her mouth with a paper napkin.
I shoot a glance at Em who returns the look over the rim of her coffee cup. Zora has two modes when sober: know it all bitch and pining waif.
‘So,’ I say slowly, trying to avoid land mines that will set off a Zora tangent. ‘What are we doing again today? Going to Trinity or something?’
‘Didn’t you read the schedule?’ Zora quips.
Ignoring her, I turn to Em and raise a brow. She’s the peacekeeper of the group because both Kate and I are extroverts. Even if we don’t say something is pissing us off, it shows up on our face clear as day.
‘Yup. Trinity.’ Cocking her head to the side, she asks, ‘Want to do drinks in Temple Bar afterwards?’
‘No. That place is too expensive. And I’m with Kate, I don’t think my liver can take another drink.’
‘Wuss. Cafe then. Cake and coffee at the Wooden Spoon.’
‘Sounds good to me, as long as we make it out early enough. Kate?’
Little Miss Hungover lifts her head enough to nod, before collapsing back into a puddle of misery.
‘I’m not going,’ Zora chimes in, gathering up her breakfast tray and rising, ‘Nick and I have a video date. You might not want to come back before 7.’
I shudder as she walks away. ‘Surprised anyone slept with her. Don’t you think they’d get frostbite?’
Em punches me in the shoulder, though there’s a grin tugging at her lips. ‘That’s not nice.’
‘She’s not nice.’
‘Children,’ Kate mimics, lifting her head again to roll her eyes. ‘I fucking swear—’
‘A week and a half, girl,’ I commiserate. ‘Just a week and a half.’
***
Zora, true to form, doesn’t join us. We sit in mismatched chairs sipping coffee and complaining about all the weight we’ve gained as we scarf down chocolate fudge ripple cake and contemplate the Italian place next door for dinner and a movie and junk food for our impromptu girl’s night.
My phone buzzes in the seat of my jeans: a text alert from Leo. I’ve been getting them all day, but between Trinity and class and finally writing, I haven’t had the time to respond. Of course, Leo’s not a man to be ignored.
‘Gimme a sec,’ I tell Em and Kate as I take one last bite of chocolate heaven and make my way out of the cafe, palming my phone.
Leo: I can’t tell if you’re ignoring me or just busy. 6:09PM
I could text, but instead I decide to call. He picks up on the second ring. ‘Rai?’
‘Hey. Busy.’
‘Lots of classes today?’ he asks.
‘More just running around and writing.’ Popping my hip against the wall, I cradle the phone between my shoulder and ear, picking at the dirt under my fingernails. ‘I got all your texts though.’
‘Just didn’t respond?’
‘Didn’t have time. Really.’
‘Are we good?’ he asks suddenly, voice strained.
A laugh bursts from my throat, jarring the pedestrians hurrying by. He remains silent over the line so long I think I lost him. ‘You there?’
‘Yes,’ comes clipped and sour.
Pushing away from the wall, I forget my fingernails and run a hand through my hair, catching the curls and tugging them into a frizzy mess. ‘I didn’t mean to laugh. It’s just—the question seems dumb. No, no. Not dumb but unbelievable. You asking me that. I should be asking you that.’
He’s silent again. ‘Why?’
‘Because I didn’t rock your world even a fraction as hard as you rocked mine. Earthquake scale? You were a ten and I was a two.’
‘Why would you say that?’
‘Because I couldn’t fucking breathe afterwards while you just went to the bathroom and got me a glass of water.’
‘Kultaseni, do you even realize how long it took me to pull out?’
‘No.’
‘Me either. But when we started, the clock said 10:49 and when we finished it was 1 in the morning. I’ve had good sex, Rai, but I’ve never had sex that lasted for two hours but felt like two minutes.’
My throat dries as I try to think of something to say, anything. But he fills the lack, ‘And when I saw that blood—your blood. And remembered your words? Rai, I don’t have the English to explain how I felt. You have the tightest, wettest, sweetest pussy and I was the first man to ever have it.’
The air is too hot, the street too noisy. There are too many things overloading my system, and I overheat, flush, dampen. Leo makes me lightheaded, makes me forget the rolls and fat and scars. He doesn’t look at me, he looks in me and no man has ever done that before.
‘Are we good?’ he asks again.
‘Y-Yes,’ I stutter, trying to regain the mental footing I hadn’t realized I lost. ‘We’re good.’
‘Then what time should I pick you up and where?’
I smile, comfortable with this version of Leo. Mr. Bossy Pants. Mr. In Control. The warm brick hits my butt as I recline back on it. ‘Not tonight.’
‘Why?’
I bite my cheek to keep from laughing at his tone. ‘Girl’s night.’
‘And what exactly does that entail?’
‘Italian food and a movie. Probably some rom-com nightmare.’
‘I see.’ He pauses. ‘Well, have a good night with—Was it Em and Kate?’
‘And maybe Zora.’
‘Have I met her?’
‘Nope and you wouldn’t want to.’ I wait for a half a second before asking my question, ‘And what’s your plan for the night?’
‘Well, my plan was doing you. But seeing as how you’re busy I’ll probably work.’
Sore parts of me that
should still be knocked out, spring to life, whispering insidious little thoughts about screwing girls’ night in favor of Leo. ‘Your business right? Working on a website or micromanaging?’
‘Both most likely.’
‘Well,’ I turn to look at Em and Kate through the glass store front and see them devouring an Elephant Ear. ‘I better let you go.’
‘Think so,’ he agrees. ‘I’ll call you in the morning.’
There’s a stupidly bright smile as I walk back into the restaurant and make my way to Em and Kate. ‘Tomorrow it is. Bye, Leo.’
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