Even Ponygirls Sometimes Get The Blues
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INTRODUCTION
In a near-filled church, Conrad and Lydia Fitzgerald held hands while watching their youngest daughter Bella at the altar in the process of being married to Fergus McDuff.
The youngsters had met unromantically, being arrested for drunkenness. When they appeared in Court next morning they were let off by the Judge who probably remembered his own youth. Being first-offenders counted in their favor. Bella and Fergus had reunited outside the Court and grinning sheepishly they swapped telephone numbers.
Lydia was sorry that Bella, despite her romantic name, was a rebellious young woman and her idea of dressing up was to wear a fancy top with jeans.
Lydia’s mind slipped back to the time when she was nineteen…
CHAPTER 1
‘Girls, girls, this just will not do,’ Lorna Rush had said, clapping her hands. She looked at her three daughters but really focused on only two of them, Bess and Nell whom she thought would both have to work hard to find a husband. Lorna thought her youngster with long-flowing auburn hair looked like her, with high cheekbones, green eyes and a manner that seem to say, ‘Hello world, here I am. Challenge me.’
‘Back to the bathroom Bess. Please brush your hair twenty times with your left hand and thirty times with your right hand and get your lipstick on straight.’
The 22-year-old raven-headed beauty said, ‘Aw mom’ but was ignored.
‘Nell get out of those pants and skimpy shirt and into one of your best dresses. This could be a defining afternoon for one of you three lassies.’
‘Aw mom, why pick on Bess and me? Lydia with her fancy name and fancy ways is your pet.’
‘Whatever you say dear and you know it may or might not be the truth. You both can see your sister is beautifully dressed.’
Bess said, ‘I can’t understand why Lydia is included. I’m twenty-two and sexy Nell at twenty-six with her blonde enhanced hair will appeal to a young doctor who is twenty-eight. Lydia is still not out of her teens.’
‘I run a democratic house Bess and you know it. If anything is a matter of choice I always insist you three have equal rights of selection and if two or all three of you want the same thing it’s decided by a toss of a coin. But in this case the young physician will choose.’
‘Come on Bess to the bathroom, I’m off to my wardrobe where I have nothing to wear. Mom get Miss Perfect to do those flowers… you know she does most things better than you.’
‘That’s because she listens and is obedient Nell but that’s an excellent idea. Re-arrange the flowers please Lydia and watch out in that white dress for pollen.’
The Rush family lived in the small town of Magnum where the young women outnumbered by 5:1 the young men remaining in town.
Lorna, formerly Lorna Stewart of Kingussie, a small town in the heart of the Scottish highlands, knew what she had to do because her family lived in a district with a shortage of eligible men who had left after the demise of fishing to chase better work and better opportunities.
When Lorna turned nineteen her mother sent her to live with an aunt, a doctor’s wife, in the town of Magnum in America. Lorna married their son Walter when he joined his father in the medical practice.
Now a generation on the problem of a lack of eligible men had revisited Lorna. She advertised in the newspaper in the city of Newton not too far away and requested contact from eligible men interested in marriage with three sisters to chose from aged nineteen to twenty-six.
A dozen responses had been expected. Lorna received eighty-four.
On Saturday when Walter was away fishing, she sat down with her daughters in the living room and read out the letters, the three girls being instructed to vote on each response.
The girls had opened the envelopes but left the contents unread.
Lorna drew the first one out and blushed and said, ‘Ohmigod.’
Recovering she said, ‘You girls are well-educated and I have educated you even more at home to be worldly-aware and have allowed you to read literature no matter how depraved I suspected it might be.’
‘Yes mother,’ Nell the usual spokesperson for the girls said. She giggled, setting off the other two.
Lorna ignored them and read the first letter. Fearlessly she read the piece, ‘I’d love to lube my hand and push it up the cunt of each one of you sisters with your entire family watching and I’d then call to a volunteer or volunteers to jerk me off’.
Lorna watched approvingly as her daughters who’d been laughing so much they were dabbing their eyes. Now was that a sign of maturity or was it what?
Almost half the responses were almost as disgusting as the first one. By the time Lorna picked up the thirty-first letter the girls had twice voted she continue reading. Eight of the letters had received votes, three of them gaining three votes.
That thirty-first letter was out on its own, the writer saying he’d had an extensive education and had lost contact with most women from his younger days and he’d been unable to find an acceptable female who was pretty, graceful, caring and possessed a calm and considered outlook on life.
‘That’s us,’ Bess said.
‘Yes indeed,’ Lorna said, flicking a glance at Lydia that was too quick for her daughters to spot.
‘Good gracious, what university did he attend,’ Lydia laughed and Bess said a med school for deprived children.
But there was something about that letter and all three voted for it and when it was decided to select the best three of the eleven letters with three votes and invite the men to visit them, that most favored writer, who’d signed himself as Dr Conrad Fitzgerald, was the first to respond and said he could come on Saturday.
‘I really don’t think someone with that name comes from a deprived childhood,’ said Lorna. ‘He’s provided a phone number so I’ll call him.’
On Saturday at 2:00 a guy in a white suit and wearing black sunglasses drove a red Italian sports car drove up to the house.
‘Ohmigod, he’s mine even if he has a hairy chest,’ Nell cooed.
‘Out the way bitch, he’s mine,’ Bess challenged. ‘You’d be better off with the guy who lubes his hand.’
‘Girls,’ Lorna said mildly. ‘You are ladies, remember.’
Lorna brought in the tall, slim and quite good-looking guy.
‘Conrad these are my daughters.’
‘Wow.’
Lorna smiled. ‘This is Nell who is twenty-six with a nursing degree and is a hospital theater nurse. Next to her is Bess, aged twenty-two, who is big into sport and horse riding and manages the women’s fashion department in the emporium in our small town. And beyond her is Lydia, aged nineteen in her first year studying advertising at college and she does most things well.’
‘I hadn’t really known what to expect Mrs Rush. If you don’t mind my saying this arrangement seemed so quaint that it intrigued me. Having said that I expected to find three daughters who were, um, let’s say less than generally socially acceptable. Instead what I find is an almost dazzling line-up.’
‘Thank you Conrad. Well expressed.’
‘Bess do you ski?’
‘Yes I manage to stay upright.’
‘My daughters love to tease Conrad. Last year Bess was State runner-up champion in the female giant slalom. Look why don’t you sit with Bess in the snug and after talking to her for a while you might like to talk to one or both other girls?’
‘Yes, great idea.’
When Conrad had finished Lorna sent the girls out for a walk and poured coffee.
‘You have three great daughters Mrs Rush.’
‘Thank you Conrad.’
He said, ‘I suppose like me you are wondering what now?’
‘Well yes and I hadn’t thought this far ahead. But I’ll advise them if you wish. I suspect you’ll want to date Lydia a few times and then decide what now?’
‘Lydia, h-how did you know?’
‘I’m a pragmatic Scots-born woman Conrad. If I were
a farmer to buy sheep and three were presented to me I would only glance at how they looked right then and from there I would dwell on only one consideration: potential.’
‘I guess that’s what I did. I clearly determined Lydia had the best all-round attributes and I thought, Ohmigod, and she’s only just commenced growing into womanhood.’
‘Lovely words Conrad. And what about the only issue I can see, age difference.’
‘Oh is there a difference between Lydia and me in age?’
That drew a big smile. ‘You are clever and a charmer Conrad. I suggest you ring the bell on the back porch and that will summons the girls. Just tell the girls you will dwell on your decision.’
‘I would prefer telling them now.’
‘Very well. I have confidence you have the skill to handle it well.’
The girls entered and Conrad stood and lifted the coffee pot.
‘Hi girls, coffee for everyone?’
They all said yes and he said, ‘Please sit beside me Lydia.’
‘Bess and Nell, I guess you both understand in a three horse race only one is likely to be first to pass the post. I feel there is no need to say more but I thank all three of you for your participation and to your mother for her initiative. Remember more guys still have appointments to visit. If Lydia chooses me then you will no longer have her as a competitor.’
‘Yes I choose you Conrad. Thank you. What now?’
‘I’ll call you tomorrow.’
After Conrad had left, shaking hands with only their mother, Nell and Bess kissed Lydia and congratulated her.
‘Why you?’ Nell asked.
‘I’m only nineteen darling, how would I know how men think?’
Listening to that reply Lorna was in awe of her youngest daughter. Until now Lorna had always thought because of her high standard Scottish and English education at top levels that she was the cleverest one in the family. But not now. Ohmigod, that response from Lydia was a clever, super-intelligent reply.
Lorna asked Bess what she’d learned about Conrad and she said nothing much apart from the fact he’d been a fan of skiing since his first attempt at staying upright when he was three but now was more into snowboarding.
‘Nell?’
‘Mom both his parents come from wealthy families. His mom is from Boston and his father from Denver. They gave him the sports car when he finished his studies. He has two sisters and the youngest is a charge nurse at a big hospital in Chicago and the other sister who is two years older than Conrad is a hospital doctor in Boston and intends becoming a cardio thoracic surgeon. His mom is vice-president of a bank and his father specializes in refractive surgery. They must be a super intelligent family.’
‘Exactly what does Conrad do?’
Bess told her mom he didn’t say and Nell said she hadn’t asked but Lydia might have asked him.
‘He has been lecturing in American literature mom at a university in Denver,’ said Lydia. His doctorate is in literature and not as we all assumed in medicine. He is house-sitting for his aunt in Newton who is touring England and will be away for another six months. He is writing a novel about a woman surgeon and the heroine is based on his older sister Merrill renamed Medora. The best thing about living in his widowed aunt house is it’s in a quiet neighborhood and she paints so he uses her studio that faces away from the sun to write and finds the atmosphere stimulating. But also there is her American spaniel Sophie who is no longer fretting and whenever Conrad speaks to Sophie she rolls on to her back to have her tummy tickled. Being a Fitzgerald he says his favorite writers are Scott Fitzgerald, Walt Whitman, J. G. Salinger, John Steinbeck and of course Mark Twain whose Tom Sawyer led Conrad into an interest in literature.’
‘I said they were all males and how about a female and he said that would have to be Edith Wharton for her ‘The Age of Innocence’. He’s read it mom and has read both of my favorite contemporary French writers who are females. He asked could I read in French and I said very fluently, thanks to you mom. He said he’d give me Simone de Beauvoir’s 1970 long essay printed in French, ‘La Vieillesse’ (The Coming of Age).’
‘I daresay we’ll all love to read that dear. We all read one of her much earlier acclaimed books, ‘The Mandarins’.’
‘Yes and he said we might enjoy Simone’s ‘All Men Are Mortal’.
Lorna said, ‘You really learnt quite a lot in interacting with him in such a short time dear. May we ask what did he learn about you?’
‘Oh he asked what was I studying at college beside advertising and communications and did I like dressing up and going to parties. He hoped I didn’t get too drunk too often and wasn’t into drugs and group sex…’
‘Group sex,’ Lorna said weakly.
‘I hope you told him you weren’t a virgin,’ Bess said.
‘Yes he didn’t ask so I told him.’
‘Oh dear, coffee anyone?’ Lorna asked, looking at the empty coffee carafe.
Lydia went to bed that night, her mind in an uproar. She was too young to marry but she didn’t want to lose the man she’d only just found and he seemed to want her.
Oh what a mess.
How could it resolve?
Time, said her mind.
Lydia was unsure whether to call Conrad when he called, where to call him Conrad or start more formally and call him Mr Fitzgerald? Oh she was so wet behind the ears. But this mild turmoil would be nothing her mom would be going through. Her mom would have been expecting Mr Fitzgerald, er Conrad, to go for Nell, the best looking woman in the family. Um the best looking face. It was Lydia who had the best figure, the best personality and related to strangers best and that was why she’d seduced Conrad by her superior persona and body, giving Nell the lesson that looks were not everything and if she didn’t eat so much she too could have a lithe body and perhaps still retain most of her breast development.
Ah, but was mommy dear shocked? Lydia was widely acknowledged even beyond the family for her agile brain and worldliness and seemingly limitless knowledge. Lydia was also the romantic of the family. Put those things all together and mommy dear would have seen a mile off her youngest daughter would have enchanted the bride-seeking hopeful. But wait, there was something strange here. Conrad was good looking with a charming persona. At university cock-seeking wenches would have surrounded him or more refined young woman prepared to do anything to try to win more favorable marks. His mom would only have to click her fingers at her girl friends to say her son needed a female to date and daughter’s would have been lined up for his mom’s selection.
Lydia was almost asleep when it hit her: Ohmigod, could it be Conrad Fitzgerald was a romantic, that it appealed to him more finding a wife through an advertisement inserted by an anxious mother of three daughters than to fall between the legs of a likely candidate in his car parked behind a bar who had been selected via his mother?
When would he call her?
Would Conrad ever call her?
Was he in a bar somewhere right now telling his drunken pals how he’d duped a mother and her three pathetic daughters into thinking he was looking for a bride and would like to choose one of them? Oh not the mother of course.
Sleep came to Lydia.
CHAPTER 2
Dr Harold Rush, already dressed, came into the bedroom dragging the house phone on half a mile of extension cord, perhaps that length was shorter.
‘Lydia wake up, this call’s for you. Some guy who calls himself Conman.’
Lydia took the phone and stretched. ‘Hi Conrad.’
‘What is the size of your breasts?’
‘W-what?’
‘And how tall are you.’
‘Thirty-four B and five foot ten and a half.’
‘Thank you. I’ve decided to change one of my characters in my novel to reflect you and your personality. That will give her star quality. At present she is far too insipid.’
‘I don’t wish
to be portrayed in your novel thank you very much.’
‘Is your name Clara Fisher?’
‘No and you know it’s not.’
‘Well the character we have been talking about is Clara Fisher. Like you she is not married but unlike you she is thirty-one, has twin boys aged two and is a forensic scientist. Do you see the connection?’
‘No.’
‘Then your admit you are not being portrayed in my novel?’
‘Well you have been persuasive so yes. Why are you waking me at this ungodly hour?’
‘It’s just gone 7:00. Only shift-workers and people home from debauched activity need to be sleeping at this hour.’
Lydia giggled.
‘Ah that sounds like the charmer I met yesterday. I’m coming out to collect you and take you to college.’
‘I go by bus.’
‘It that compulsory?’
‘No of course not.’
‘Then why have you rejected my offer?’
Lydia thought about that. ‘I suppose it’s because I’m shy of you and think you’ll be thinking I’m too young for you.’
‘You shouldn’t and you’re not.’
‘Well that’s a relief.’
‘You understood that meant well you shouldn’t be shy of me and you’re not too young for me?’
‘Yes. Am I to take it you are used to women without a brain?’
He laughed so loud Lydia had to pull the phone hand piece from her ear.
‘You’re a wit Lydia.’
‘I’m pleased I amuse you. Arrive here at 7:45. I’ll be waiting at the gate and then take me to a coffee shop in Newton and talk to me what you like about sex. I need to be at college by 8:50.’
‘That’s not much time to talk about sex,’ he murmured.
She laughed and cut the call after saying he could deliver in installments.
* * *
Conrad was apprehensive. Although society was into the seventies one still was expected to act with proprietary with a young woman, more so if she still lived at home with her family.
Shaving and dressing quickly, Conrad hurried out after patting Sophie goodbye and opening the door of the garage patted affectionately the butt of his 2-door red roadster, a Spider 1600 Junior, and roared off to meet … er his destiny… er Lydia he thought, remembering her name. The name appeal to him, as did she although she was embarrassingly young. Her mother probably named her after Lydia Bennett, the youngest of the sisters in Jane Austen’s ‘Pride and Prejudice’.
Ah yes, that probably was very true. He remembered a line from the book of Lydia talking to her oldest sister, ‘Lord, how ashamed I should be of not being married before three and twenty.’
Hmmmm.
Conrad saw Lydia waiting at the gate. Oh-oh. He’d kept her waiting and would now receive a dark look. But she presented a bright smile and said nothing about being kept waiting.
‘Oh this is a dear wee car, so suited to you.’
Huh?
But females never spoke about cars except to asked how much it cost or did it have a heater and in the case of his car could he put on the soft top.
Conrad noted she was wearing a beret so probably would not complain about wind in her hair.
‘Do I kiss you? My sisters will be looking out windows.’
‘Yes, of definitely,’ he said, attempting to speak romantically. He held his lips forward and was kissed sweetly.
‘You do feel old enough to have sex with an old man like me?’
‘Is age a consideration?’ she smiled and looked ahead as if telling him she was ready to go.
‘Oh the coffee shop? Well here we go.’
He floored the gas pedal and could tell she loved the car. She glanced at him, eyes smiling and looked disappointed when he lifted his foot to keep within a speed that would not attract attention, particularly with a cop hungry to write citation notices. Outside town limits he floored the pedal briefly and was delighted when Lydia took off her beret and shook her hair free and yelled, ‘I love the feeling of wind through my hair.’
Oh god, what an amazing young woman. If she were good at sex he’d really consider marrying her if they were still together when she graduated. She was obviously family oriented and would want children and would be great with them… but it was impossible to know what women think.
‘Do you want children?’ he called above the noise of the engine and whistle of wind.
‘They are unlikely since we’ve not had sex.’
For a brief moment the car almost veered off the road.
When the waitress taking their order had walked away and Conrad scratched the back of his neck wondering what to say, about anything, Lydia said, ‘I did tell you I wasn’t a virgin.’
Stevie
- 05.09.2020
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