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As I turned the shower off, the first sound I heard was the sound of my friend, Jessie, laughing. The kind of cackling laughter that you just know is going to end badly for someone. In this instance I had a sinking feeling that it was going to be me.

I dried myself and got dressed – boxers, socks, jeans, t-shirt – brushed my teeth and my hair, sprayed a little aftershave and walked through my apartment until I got to my lounge where Jessie was sat – sprawled – on the sofa, a copy of the local paper in her hands.

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