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Greetings, kind folks. How are you doing today? My name is Sylvester Fordman. I’m a student at Boston Metropolitan Institute of Technology, one of the best private colleges in the nation. College life is fun these days. Well, if you’re lucky enough to have found the right college or university. For me, the right college has to have an even number of men and women among its student body and a strong athletic program. Oh, and no academic slacking either. Most schools in the higher education system of America aren’t good enough to meet my relatively high standards. Fortunately, Boston Metro Tech does. That’s why they’re lucky enough to have me. Out of all those schools out there, I chose them.
Who am I and why do I think so highly of myself? I’m a six-foot-one, big and tall, jet-black and handsome African-American stud. I am a graduate of Boston College High School, the best private school in Massachusetts. I come from impressive stock. My father, Jonathan Fordman is the Mayor of Brockton, my hometown, and he is also a former member of the Massachusetts House of Representatives. A distinguished Congressman. Before joining the world of politics, he worked as the CEO of Fordman Enterprises, a multi-million-dollar trucking company which he founded with his brother, my uncle Larry Fordman. My mother, Eleanor Joseph Fordman is of Haitian origin. She’s the Coach of the Women’s Basketball team at Bridgewater State University. Before that, she was a Psychology Professor at Regis College. I have a brother, John Fordman, who is a sophomore at Boston College. He’s on the Football team. Me? I’m the brains of the operation, studying engineering at Boston Metro Tech.
At first glance, Boston Metro Tech is a rather small college. Only seventeen hundred students. It was founded in 1997 by Louis Alastor, a wealthy engineer. Ten years after it was founded, Boston Metro Tech has become one of the best engineering schools in America. The student body is carefully selected among the very best from high schools across the nation. They damn well better be selective. Otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered with them. I cannot and will not attend a school full of losers. I want to become one of the top engineers in America. Maybe even start my own company someday. Someday, I might even run for President of the United States. Hey, right now, there’s a black man and a white woman running for the nation’s highest office. Personally, I hope the brother wins. This shows you that times have changed. The nation is ready to look past race and gender and give a person a chance based on qualifications and conviction. Sorry if I sound like a dreamer but we really do live in interesting times, right?
Yeah, where was I? Oh, yeah. I was telling you about Boston Metropolitan Institute of Technology. Boston Metro Tech has two campuses, one located in downtown Boston and one located in Milton. The Department of Athletics is located in Milton. It’s also where the athletic facilities are, like the Football Field, the Track & Field Lanes, the Basketball Court, the Soccer Field, and also the Aquatics. We have a good number of Sports at Boston Metro Tech. Let’s see, originally we had Men’s Basketball, Lacrosse, Wrestling, Nordic Skiing, Cross Country and Soccer, along with Women’s Basketball, Field Hockey, Nordic Skiing, Lacrosse, Cross Country and Soccer. Recently, we added Men’s Volleyball, Sailing, Track & Field, Water Polo, Golf, Tennis, Swimming and Ice Hockey along with Women’s Volleyball, Tennis, Golf, Track & Field, Sailing, Swimming, Water Polo and Ice Hockey. As a fast-rising research institute which now competed in the NCAA’s Division One, we felt that we needed to be put on the map. So, this year, we added a Football team. Our teams are collectively known as the Howlers and Lady Howlers, in honor of John Howler, the school’s first Athletic Director, now deceased.
The school also gives financial support to a variety of Sports Clubs. There are a lot of them these days. Men’s Bowling, Men’s Boxing, Men’s Fencing, Men’s Sumo Wrestling, Women’s Fencing, Men’s Archery, Men’s Rifle, Men’s Rugby, Women’s Rugby, Women’s Squash, Women’s Rifle, and Coed Cycling. We plan on raising some of them to Varsity Status as soon as financially feasable. Even though we’re dedicated to both athletics and academics, we’re also on a tight budget. Boston Metro Tech is a private school, meaning we receive absolutely no funding from the state or the federal government. If we don’t take money from them, they can’t tell us what to. We value our independence greatly. The school’s founder intended it to be an institution where freedom of expression would be valued above all else. There is a hidden tyranny at most American colleges and universities. These schools are in the hands of the politically correct bunch, the man-haters, the racial and ethnicity police, the moral freaks and various other hostile powers. You can tell by how messed up they are and how lousy they’re destined to become.
Boston Metro Tech is one of the last bastions of freedom inside the higher education system of America. We’re infamous for it, too. Boston Metro Tech strives for fairness and excellence. A lot of schools claim they’re committed to diversity but they only say this to keep the politically correct watchdogs off their backs. We mean what we say at Boston Metro Tech. We have a Women’s Center. We also have a Men’s Center because we’re not the kind of school that believes in ignoring the needs of male students. Especially in an age where male students are becoming minorities in college. We have a Black Student Union, a Gay and Lesbian Alliance, a Young Christian Society, an Irish Heritage Club, a Latin-American Coalition, and various fraternities and sororities. Myself, I’m a member of the Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity. We treat everyone equally regardless of race, gender or sexual orientation. We don’t give anyone special treatment.
Boston Metro Tech is my home these days. As its sole and all-time brightest genius, I must defend it against all evil forces. Yes, I see right through people. Man-haters. Psychopaths. Sociopaths. Politically Correct Freaks. I have battled all of them at various times during my career at Boston Metro Tech. It hasn’t been easy. And I don’t think it’s over yet. This is my struggle. The struggle of a Boy Genius fighting alone against overwhelming odds. I fight alone. With my resources. I don’t use my family name or money in my battle against the forces of evil. I don’t need it. At the end of the day, a man is defined by his actions and his choices, not how much money he has in the bank. That’s how I define myself. Does that surprise you?
A lot of people judge me before they get to know me. They think I’m the rich dad whose parents are loaded. They don’t think I’ve ever had to work a hard day in my life. Sure, my family is wealthy. We’re multi-millionaires. The top echelon of American Society. But we’re not a bunch of lazy people. My father worked hard to get where he is. My mother works hard too. And so does my uncle. I wasn’t spoiled at home, either. The family lives in a mansion in Milton, Massachusetts. And guess what? We led a spartan existence inside. Money was used sparingly. I was expected to volunteer for various social outreach programs when I was younger. I didn’t donate to the poor the way some rich people did. I worked hard at soup kitchens to feed the poor. And while I wore decent clothes, my parents frowned upon the materialistic, designer crap most teenagers craved. Yes, I am familiar with hard work. At my house, we did everything ourselves. No servants.
Yes, life goes on at Boston Metro Tech. As a scholarship student, I was expected to maintain a certain GPA. When you’ve got an IQ of about 200, taking seven engineering courses per semester isn’t very hard, especially if you’re passionate about it. I’ve always been fascinated by what makes things work. Especially machines. I liked taking things apart and putting them back together. My parents encouraged this in me and I was a member of the Men
in Engineering Club at Boston College High School. Most of my classmates from BC High went to Boston College. I didn’t. I wanted a challenge. And I wanted to make my mark at a place where I wouldn’t run into too many old buddies. I was Valedictorian of my graduating class at Boston College High School. Many of the other students were jealous of me. I chose Boston Metro Tech partly because I knew most of them wouldn’t go there. My chief rival, Lucas Slade, is a third-generation Boston College High School alumnus. He’s an Irishman with teutonic looks. Tall, lean, blond-haired and blue-eyed. He was the captain of the Football team and also the Vice President of the Men in Engineering Club. When he learned that I wouldn’t be heading to Boston College, he was thrilled. I spent the past four years outperforming him at everything he ever tried. He’s downright pathetic, really.
I shine everywhere I go. I don’t need money or popularity. At least not to the extent that other people need them. Absolute confidence and superior intelligence can get you through virtually anything. With my intelligence and natural abilities, I can overcome any foe. Or any situation. Regardless of where I am. To prove it, I ran for Freshman Class President at Boston Metro Tech. I was up against Julianne Stanford, the President’s daughter, and Erica Haverhill, a rich gal from Wellesley. I won by a narrow margin but winning is winning. I’m the first Black Class President that Boston Metro Tech has ever seen. The school has had three male and six female class presidents, all white. Who says I can’t shake things down? I did this virtually all by myself. Again, without using the family name or daddy’s money. I got skills.
Yes, freshman year was coming to a close and I was doing quite well. I was staying focused on my schoolwork, and also doing my special work. My special task is identifying and battling the sociopaths of the world, those men and women who completely lack a conscience. I can’t quite explain how I do it but I can spot them. I have quite a lot more work to do. That’s why I’ve put the usual college man stuff, like dating, sex, relationships and beer, on the back burner. I’ve simply got more important things in mind. And I promise to keep you updated about my adventures.
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