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As we walked across the tarmac, I nervously asked the Fixer, ‘Well?’

‘She made it sir. She’s a little upset. Apparently the handling was a little rough. We’ll try to do better next time.’

‘Thank you.’ He’s the most trusted of my Secret Service detail. The only one I could clear for ‘blueball’ ops. It’s best if I don’t give his name. He doesn’t need to be hounded for the rest of his life to confirm what he swore an oath to deny. I climb the ramp to Air Force One, barely able to remember to acknowledge the people lined along the red carpet between Marine One and the stairs. She’s inside. I get so sick of hearing ‘Hail to the Chief’ when I need her so badly. I’m so glad that frigid wife of mine, FLOTUS, decided not to accompany me on this trip. The bitch took her damned time before she made her decision and made it a tougher op to get my true love, I guess I should call her MOTPOTUS, Mistress Of The President Of The United States, aboard in secrecy again. I’m also glad that so much sound proofing was installed to keep my suite isolated. Sally’s a real screamer.

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