Rock Paper Scissors
- 2 years ago
- 16
- 0
First, let me describe myself. I’m a 45 yr old male, single, average build.
I live in an apartment complex, where a swimming pool is the center attraction.
I was lying on a lounge chair, minding my own business, when I noticed two
16 yr old girls arguing. They’re both in bikini bathing suits, and starting to fill
them out nicely. There’s no one else around, so its kinda quiet, and I can just
about make out what they’re saying.
‘I bet I can take more than you, I’m older and more mature’
‘Oh please, you’re only two months older than me, we’re basically the same
age. And besides, I’ve been practicing, so I know I can take more than you’
I divide the story of my life into two parts: the years before the incident and the time since. What occurred rocked my world like a psychic earthquake. I was looking for a transformation, and I found it in the abyss of a human soul.Growing up, I had been a loner, an introvert who withdrew from the company of others. I avoided social gatherings whenever possible. This practice conflicted with the wishes of my aristocratic family, whose business dealings and political pursuits kept them...
HorrorBrock was about 5ft8 with pale skin, blue eyes and blond hair. He was young and smooth bodied with delicate muscles gained from hours in the pool. There wasn't anyone else like that here. It was only his first day and he was shit scared but he tried to hold his head high even as his mugshot appeared on the news. All the guys whispered about him and gave him glares. Brock tried to ignore everyone. He had three cellmates. Daquan was the youngest, about three years older than Brock, 6ft3...
I opened the door. The paper boy was walking down the path. He come up to the door and handed me the paper. Bless him, he was shivering and his fingers were blue. It was a freezing cold winter’s day. I took him inside so he could get warm and I sat him down on the sofa. He was freezing. I rubbed his hands one at a time. He got embarrassed. I rubbed his hands one at a time between my hands.“Your hands are like ice.”“It’s all right. I’m used to it.”I carried on rubbing his hands to get ‘em...
With HIV and all the other diseases out there I didn't understand how the guys in films could allow all the bareback stuff. I knew it was less safe than sex with condoms, but I always felt the danger level was just too much. Then one day I read a guy's ad in Craig's List titled "Play with Paper"It read, "I enjoy bareback sex with a few select males, I have a thick 8" dick and I want you to suck it, then rim my ass before I fuck you with my dick, Goliath. You will need to have a recent AIDS test...
Introduction: she owed 10 dollars for her paper delivery…she worked it off in trade It had been a month since I got home from college. I did not want to get a serious job just after graduating. I still wanted to party and enjoy the summer. My parents had other ideas. I went on a few interviews and filled out a ton of applications. But not many people were hiring. I had worked when I was younger as a paper boy. But I had grown out of the job. Not many 6ft 4 athletic college guys riding up and...
It had been a month since I got home from college. I did not want to get a serious job just after graduating. I still wanted to party and enjoy the summer. My parents had other ideas. I went on a few interviews and filled out a ton of applications. But not many people were hiring. I had worked when I was younger as a paper boy. But I had grown out of the job. Not many 6ft 4 athletic college guys riding up and down the streets throwing news papers. Plus my friends would make fun of me. Some of...
The Paperboy Isn't a Boy Anymore It was 10:00 A.M. when I looked out the door to make sure my tiny back yard was empty and there was no one in the alley behind my house. All clear. I popped out the door onto the back porch. I was naked, carrying an armload of potted plants to put on the porch railing. I often spend time around the house naked. I like it that way. Going in and out doors sometimes giving a free peek is part of the fun. Tires screeched and a horn blew three times in the alley....
About an hour later I was out back in the pool. I had a nice tan going on a week now. I drank a few cold ones while I waited for some job calls. Nothing happen the rest of the day. I went online after dinner. I watched some porn, then headed to bed. It was close to 7am when the door to my room burst open. I rolled over to see my Dad with a note. He placed it on my forehead as he walked out of my room. It read: "Get a job. Your mother and I will no longer give you money. Plus you need to pay...
The second honeymoon cruise that Judy and I had gone on to reconnect after the second slip in fidelity on her part and the consequences that came from it was twelve months in the past. The months following our return home had brought more changes into our family life that everyone seemed happy with. I had not been happy with the number of hours Judy had to spend managing the realty company so as owners; Gwen and I demoted Judy back to sales agent and promoted Joyce Hastings to manager. Judy...
The guy at the bar is wearing a T-shirt that says “Honey Badger Don’t Care.” He’s skinny enough for the shirt, but he cringes when he takes a sip from his bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon.I wonder if he can fuck a girl like me and really not care.I like to tell myself that I’m not that ugly. I’ve studied my reflection enough times to believe that my cheeks aren’t that chipmunk-like, that my teeth aren’t too big, that my forehead isn’t too high. Those features are all I know, but self-confidence is a...
This story is a continuation of an earlier story, "Playing with Paper"After watching a movie that cost 14.00 to rent in our motel room, Paper and I decided to take a shower. The bath-shower combo in our hotel looked well-suited for our purpose because the curtain jutted out from the tub, effectively creating just a little more room for fun. Goliath, Paper's name for his 8" dick, looked great with water sheeting over it, reaching the head and falling to the floor of the tub. Paper probably...
In the week that had passed since I told Judy I wanted to be a father and that I wanted the mother of my child to live with us to raise it; Judy had been different around the house. She moped about and the only time she seemed happy was when we were in our bedroom and she could be the slut that we both enjoyed her being. We were still having sex every other day, but the one time I tried to make tender love to her, she had resisted and we ended up having a session of hard animal sex. I had...
I sat down at my computer to finish a homework assignment that was due the next day. It was driving me crazy that I could not seem to get it done. It was for my sex education class, and the topic was the female orgasm vs the male orgasm. Since I really had no idea what a male orgasm was like, it was hard for me to write about it. I have never even had sex with a man and I was supposed to know what his orgasm was like. I have had one a few times, but even the female orgasm was something new to...
Oral SexThe Research Paper by B. Willow It was my sophomore year and housing was tight around the university. I had been looking for an apartment after a year of staying in an all too expensive dorm. I was looking for something, almost anything that was cheaper. A couple leads I had followed up on were real trash heaps. I was looking for something cheaper but not a garbage dump. I had only three weeks before classes began. I was getting anxious about ever finding anything. After two weeks of...
Introduction - The following story is based on fantasies I used to have when doing my paper round, based on the look of people's houses. I'd deliver their papers, and imagine, 'what kind of a person would live in a house like this' kinda thing. The things in the story are simply based on my wonderings and imagery that I experienced. I'm not endorsing that anyone actually go out and do this to anyone underage. That said, please read on and let me know any comments, good or...
This happened a few years ago when I was s*******n and I got a paper round to earn some extra cash. I was up at 7am so the streets were usually dead apart from a few cars driving past on their way to work. It had been this way for the first three weeks of my job, but on the fourth week - a Tuesday to be exact - it all changed.So, I was doing my deliveries as usual and there's this one house that stands out from the rest because the front door is at the side of the house rather than the front....
Judith, who everyone called Judy and who was my wife, did not know that the mentioning of another man's name while we had sex would crack the mental cover I had worked so hard during my pre-puberty and early teens to construct around a dark side of my personality only a handful of people knew existed. The first time it emerged was when I was twelve and I almost killed another boy. I was in the sixth grade at a new school and the school bully decided I would be his next victim for terror. He...
SRU: Paper Dragon By Kim West I wish to thank Bill Hart for creating the SRU Universe and allowing others to have a chance to play in it. The story I have come up with is loosely based on "Puff the Magic Dragon." I hope you will enjoy the following. There once was a little rascal by the name of Jack Paper who loved to destroy everything in his path. His bedroom looked like a cyclone had hit it, and this would be only moments after his mother had cleaned it for him. His toys usually...
After I posted 'Hair Cut' I had numerous mails asking me if my ex wife did anything more with her brother. Well to be honest I don't know but that doesn't stop me speculating. For me, my dad leaving was devastating and I don't think I'll ever got over it. I was twelve at the time and suddenly my whole world collapsed. My brother who was a year younger than me took over the male roll within the family but it was never the same. Shortly after he had left I remember lots of things...
“You always pick the pink mushroom chick.” She said mockingly. “Well she’s faster than you!” I remarked. “Please, one wrong look from from this turtle with anger management issues and your sent flying into next week!” “Whatever” I yelled as the race began, unfortunalty that damned turtle looked my way one too many times leading to my eventual loss. Damn! I cursed internally. Haha! She laughed gleefully, “pay up.” I walked to the workroom and took out a small piece of paper, and wrote...
Dad came home not long after Mom started supper. He always comes to the kitchen to hug Mom and kiss her cheek. Today she grabbed him and kissed his lips as she hugged him. “Goodness, this is some welcome ... do I get more?” Dad laughed, hugging Mom as they twirled round and round in the kitchen. “Don, I got a raise today. I’m so happy,” Mom said kissing him again. “Hey congratulations, Pat. I’m proud of you.” I saw Dad run his hand under Mom’s t-shirt and she snuggled closer as his hand...
The Paper By Alyssa Davis My Summer Vacation "For the summer, I went to stay with my aunt in Provincetown. She hadn't seen me in several years and she couldn't get over how much I'd grown. I was almost as tall as she. In fact, she said, having me there, I could be very helpful to her by modeling a dress she was sewing for herself. It would make her work so much easier. Her kindness and hospitality made it very difficult for me to refuse and it seemed harmless enough since I was...
I’d met this girl in one of my classes. Jenny’s her name. There had been instant electricity between us. She’s small, slender, and blond with a great ... uh ... behind. Sitting near her in class, it’d been natural to say hello and chat about school work. That she’s attractive and sexy added to the delight. Jenny and I had taken to having lunch after class several days each week, initially talking about class work and comparing notes. Later we began to open up about ourselves. We’d developed...
All I can hear is the crinkling of the paper bag. The lurid slurps of my mouth around the thick, throbbing cock. The voice of the cock’s owner.“The paper bag isn’t because you’re ugly,” he says, in a tone as though I should take it as a compliment. “It’s because I don’t care what you look like. Don’t care who you are when you’re not with me. And you don’t need to see right now. You need to only focus on one thing.”His voice is a constant, low rumbling in my ears. A litany of degradation that...
Have you ever been in a position where your sexual desires totally over-ruled your sensibility? Where you knew it was wrong, but oh boy, it feel so right, so multi-orgasmic right? Well, tonight was one of those times!When Eric asked/pleaded for me to wear a bag, I thought he was just k**ding. I was about to tell him, he was out of his fucking, fucked up, d**g induced, schizophrenic mind, but that was until I looked into his eyes and saw that this was not the case; and I could read Eric better...
Have you ever been in a position where your sexual desires totally over-ruled your sensibility? Where you knew it was wrong, but oh boy, it feel so right, so multi-orgasmic right? Well, tonight was one of those times! When Eric asked/pleaded for me to wear a bag, I thought he was just kidding. I was about to tell him, he was out of his fucking, fucked up, drug induced, schizophrenic mind, but that was until I looked into his eyes and saw that this was not the case; and I could read Eric better...
Straight SexThat English lesson, first thing on Tuesday when most of the class, and the lecturer were asleep but for the fact that they had their eyes open, pen's crawling sluggishly across the paper, Sera waltzed in late and sat done in the seat next to Thomas without a word. Under the table, his fingers brushed Thomas's knee, making the other boy jump. Sera put a finger to his lips and smiled. The dark skinned Latino got out paper and a pen, not even bothering to open the textbook and pretend that he...
Becky and I showered and dressed for my first date. I was as excited about Becky going, as I was about the prospect of getting to fuck Justine again. “Eddie, I’ll be right back, I want to get the books and pictures Daddy promised us.” “Becky Mom and Dad may be in bed naked.” “No problem, Daddy won’t get mad at me now that we’ve fucked. He and I are going to fuck some more so he can show me all his tricks he likes to use on Mom,” Becky said as she swished her butt down the hall to Mom and...
Becky, Melinda, Joey and I left early to run our paper route. I wanted to show Joey all about the paper route and stay with him each morning until he learns all the customers. Becky and I have agreed to take him collecting with us so he can meet the customers too. She told me in bed last night as I lay between her and Melinda, “We need to let Joey pick his own girl to help him with the route.” “He told me that he knows two girls who live with their mom about three miles from here. He’s been...
My body clock is out of whack and I keep odd hours, going to bed before the chickens go to roost and getting up around 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning. This means that I’m up and about when my newspaper is delivered around 4 o’clock. For around ten years, it has been delivered by a lady named Mary, whom I call my “Paper Babe”. Mary is just a good old country girl in her forties. If I saw the headlights of her vehicle coming toward my house, I’d go outside to meet her, get my paper, and perhaps...
Mature"PAUL, BRYAN'S HERE AGAIN. PAY THE BOY, NOW," SHIRLEY NASH SAID. PAULNASH, 27, WAS A TALL, STRONGLY RUGGED BUSINESSMAN. HIS WIFE WAS GOING AWAYFOR THE WEEKEND TO VISIT HER MOTHER. THE NEWSPAPER BOY, BRYAN, CAME UP THE WALKWAY WITH A BUNDLE OF PAPERS INHIS HAND. "HI, MR. NASH!" THE BOY SAID CHEERILY. PAUL LEANED OUT OF THE DOOR AND STARED DREAMILY AT THE YOUNG MAN. BRYANWORE TIGHT 501 LEVI'S AND NO SHIRT. PAUL WATCHED AS THE BOY BENT OVER TOPICK UP A COIN HE'D DROPPED. PAUL'S HEART...
"Nick, Donny's here again. Pay the boy, now," ShirleyCummings said. Nick Cummings, 27, was a tall, strongly ruggedbusinessman. His wife was going away for the weekend to visither mother.The newspaper boy, Donny, came up the walkway with a bundleof papers in his hand."Hi, Mr. Cummings!" The boy said cheerily. Nick leaned outof the door and stared dreamily at the young man. Donny woretight 501 Levi's and no shirt. Nick watched as the boy bent overto pick up a coin he'd dropped.Nick's...
"PAUL, BRYAN'S HERE AGAIN. PAY THE BOY, NOW," SHIRLEY NASH SAID. PAULNASH, 27, WAS A TALL, STRONGLY RUGGED BUSINESSMAN. HIS WIFE WAS GOING AWAYFOR THE WEEKEND TO VISIT HER MOTHER. THE NEWSPAPER BOY, BRYAN, CAME UP THE WALKWAY WITH A BUNDLE OF PAPERS INHIS HAND. "HI, MR. NASH!" THE BOY SAID CHEERILY. PAUL LEANED OUT OF THE DOOR AND STARED DREAMILY AT THE YOUNG MAN. BRYANWORE TIGHT 501 LEVI'S AND NO SHIRT. PAUL WATCHED AS THE BOY BENT OVER TOPICK UP A COIN HE'D DROPPED. PAUL'S HEART...
Have you ever wanted to just do something really naughty? Well, I have. My name is Tammy, and I was divorced about 4 months ago. My ex was a scum bag that had no idea of how to treat or please a woman, if you know what I mean. Oh sure, we all want the bad boy when we are dating, but ultimately, they make terrible husbands and lovers. We lasted a whopping 9 months before I caught the bastard cheating on me with a filthy little skank from the grocery store. Well, I say good riddance; she can have...
I certainly don’t want to disclose my real name because of the embarrassing circumstances of my first date with my current spouse Bathsheba. My Bathsheba was not what one could safely describe as standard female spouse material. Of course, I didn’t know that at first because our first date was more of a lark than a serious encounter for purposes of entering into a contract of marriage. We both had joined at approximately the same time a social club that specialized in initial meetings between...
The chronological order of my stories is now at the end of the chapter. This story contains graphic scenes, extreme language, and actions that might be extremely offensive to some people. These scenes, words and actions are used only for the literary purposes of this story. The author does not condone murder, racial or racist language, violence, rape or violence against women, and any depictions of any of these in this story should not be construed as acceptance of the above. Feedback and...
This is a quick follow up story to our recent experience with Pete the Pizza guy that was a whole new start for my wife Lynn, who is still a knock-out at 36. Dark, Brunette hair, blue eyes, great skin and a fantastic body (36C-24-35). It’s as if the experience with Pete has opened her eyes to a new world; she now wears more revealing clothing, even when she goes to work. She knows I love her sexy legs encased in black fully fashioned seamed stockings and knows how great they look when she is...
across from our house. It was what they called a salvage barn. Any Houses torn down, or renovated they took old fixtures, appliances and tubs anything that would sell was in there. My Dad rented a small space to raise chickens in that barn, it gave me a reason to be there, kids were not allowed in otherwise. One day while snooping around I came across these barrels and started to kick them, they would resonate if they had liquid in them and most did. I kicked this one...
early morning apparition. It was real though very real. They lived in a very small house. It was a rough existence. Her father was a mountain of a man with ogre like features if he ever got his hands on me it would be over but his demeanor was so meek and mild, really he wasn't the problem it was her mother. She was a short stout woman with a mean streak to be wary of. If it was pay week for paper money I got the run around from her, if the money was there and Julee attempted to pay me...
Brown Paper Packages By Sara James Arriving home from work, Owen found a package waiting on his doorstep. Wrapped in brown paper that was similar to a grocery bag, it was an unexpected but pleasant surprise. Once he had let himself in and was settled inside his small apartment, he took the package into the living room. He collapsed upon the couch, kicked off his shoes and examined the mystery package. It had no return address. The hand lettered address was in his name, Owen Mastof,...
“Eddie, your cock is nearly hard again, let me get a rubber so you can fuck me like a dog ... just like they were doing in that picture I showed you,” Becky told me. “You mean you have the pictures the boy showed you? You didn’t tell me he gave them to you,” Justine fussed. “Well I just got them this morning early. It wasn’t like I got them last week or anything.” “I want to see them.” “You can see them when you get naked in our truck with me and Eddie.” “We’re getting naked when we go...
Frock Farm By Lisa Lovelace The attorney finished reading my mother's will. "Does anyone have questions?" "So he gets it all?" my Aunt Amanda said. "That little twerp now owns a hundred percent of Frock Farm?" That little twerp was me, Jesse Darmand, my late mother's only child. Mom had died ten days ago in a high-speed rail accident on a business trip to China. A section of track buckled and the train derailed. She was one of a hundred victims. A contractor had just been...
Return Of The Hung Wallpaper Stud # 6 of 6My last story described how Ann met Bill the wallpaper man in 1987. This is what happened after that. He had done a small, six hour wallpaper job, in our previous home. Ann made it clear to both Bill and I, at the time, how fascinated she was with the enormous bulge in is blue jeans. He possessed a package that stuffed the entire crotch area of his jeans. Bill’s unusual package didn't stop there. HIs...
Introduction: A young mans adventure as a paper boy Chronicles of a Paper Boy by Dunchad This is a tale of what happened to me when I was a paperboy in my neighborhood. It involved delivering the free local newspaper to my road, and the one adjacent. I never used to enjoy this round until one, rather eventful day. Usually I would deliver my papers around the late afternoon, but one Thursday I had an early dentist appointment. So for a change I began delivering at about 1ish. So I...
I was nearing the end of the round and glad that the bag was lighter now with only two more papers to deliver. I knew it would still be another half-hour walk home and I was getting desperate for the toilet, so instead of pushing the paper through the letterbox, as usual, I knocked on the door. A dog started barking and I thought about trying to make it back home but then I heard a voice calming the animal and the door opened.An old man with short grey hair stood there looking at me.“Yes?” he...
TabooIt was a cold, rainy, October day as I sat by the window looking at the rain. It was raining cats and dogsThen I saw the poor paper boy throwing papers onto porches. MyThoughts were on my husband, who was serving in the navy, aboardAn aircraft carrier. He had been gone for 5 months and I wasthinking of how much I missed his company, his conversation, hiscock. We had been married for a ten years and myhusband Ed's tour was on another tour of duty for hiscountry. He worked so hard for Uncle...
BY Docker5000 Jane Jetson was taking a long hot relaxing shower; George and the rest of her family were still asleep. She quietly slipped out of her shower and dried herself on a large towel. She then slipped on a white short white dressing gown, and walked into the kitchen. Rosie the robotic maid was busily preparing their breakfasts. Jane said "good morning" to Rosie. Rosie turned to look at Jane then said. "Good morning Mrs. Jetson." Jane then asked Rosie "if she...
“Do you think I’m blind? When we were over at Frank and Emma’s this past weekend, for their cookout, I saw you flashing you cock to Debbie and that’s not the first. I saw her looking at you and smiling. Are you fucking her? You know she’s only 16 and thank God Frank and Emma didn’t see what I saw. They aren’t stupid you know. You will be in so much trouble if they find out. Well! Are you fucking Debbie? If you aren’t, you were probably thinking about it while you were fucking me. You haven’t...
by Dunchad© My evening paper round, as you probably remember was getting very interesting, and I still had it after a year of my encounter with the ladies living down the adjacent road. To my disappointment my lovely pair had gone away for the Christmas break, so as you could imagine I was Very horny from my lack of sexual activity. And I needed some relief quickly. It was the Christmas break so I was off, and it had been suggested to me that I do some tipping along my round to...
As I picked up the diary with blue pages I thought twice about reading it… it wasn’t locked Dear Diary I saw him again last night… I wonder if he has noticed the way I look at him yet… how my eyes move over him like hands, I wonder if he feels them. Being married I knew the thoughts I had where wrong… at least that’s what I thought… but how could they be. Feelings I thought where long gone… had died long ago, you know the one’s… little butterflies in your stomach… the warmth of the blush as...
It was a Friday afternoon as I sat in my office, looking over the dossier of my newest employee. A picture of the gorgeous Mina Lari stared back at me. The five-foot-nine Indian girl with long black hair was an employee most companies would absolutely love to have working for them. Twenty-five years old, an advanced degree in Economics, top of her college class, and single. For most jobs, she would be the ideal worker. Unfortunately for her, the company I own isn't like 'most jobs'. Sure, the...
BDSM"What is this?" "What does it look like, Bobby?" "Please, Sas," he said with a tone of frustration. "How many times have I--" "It's a composition notebook ... ROBERT ... is that better?" She slid it before him, leaned in closer, and reminded him, "And my name is Sally, if you're going to be an ass." He didn't respond, knowing he'd been rude. He looked the worn notebook over closer and said, "Okay, SALLY ... why are you giving me a used composition notebook?" He opened it and found it filled...
FantasyAs a youngster I had a paper route in order to earn the extra money I needed to buy some of the goodies that I desired. This was a very profitable route, although it was a once a week delivery. I was always trying to drum up new business.One day my mother told me to go and ask a new family that had moved in, if they would like delivery. Learning of this, I headed to their place and rang the bell. A young girl, about 9 years old answered. I asked if her parents were home. Shortly after, a woman...
Exam paper discovered in yacht sailor stole EXAM PAPER MILK MAID DEGREE SPERM FARM ADMINISTRATION Niceday 14 Sagittarius 563 4 Lady Hours YOU MAY CHOOSE 3 QUESTIONS OUT OF 5 Feminae super omnes TOP SECRET TERRITORAL ARCHIVES NOT TO BE PUBLISHED UNTIL 3350 1 The farm manager has asked you to prepare the servicing centre for next months Stud service . There will be 40 clients attending The Farm has amongst male stock the following categories 40 (3 cums a day ) 80(2 cad ) 500(1 cad) Explain...
i live in a apartment in a shitty neighborhood and in the summer the guys nextdoor they are like 20 something not very old whenever i walk by to go to 7-11 the two of them always go on the balcony just as i go by and i never think to cover up i just wear daisy dukes and a shirt with the sleeves going down to about my elbows the shirt is a button up but i dont button it up i just tie it up they always howl and say stuff like "hey sexy come over here and try us out" and "i wanna stuff my hard...
My Wife and the Hung Wallpaper ManIn the first four stories, I told the tails of Bob and my hot wife Ann. They had hooked up on six different occasions. Their first time was when the two of them ended up in his bed, with me sneaking into his room, and hiding at the foot of that bed. Peeking over the end of my friends bed, I watched my wife get fucked bareback, and then get her cunt filled to overflowing with an enormous creampie. That was my first time to ever see my sexy wife with another man....
The last days before Bill's intended confrontation with his wife seemed to fly by, and Wednesday arrived quickly. Those last days were filled with a number of meetings, long phone calls, and periods of introspection for Bill. His last meeting took place Wednesday during his afternoon coffee break, when Bill paid a visit to his friend Jason Shields, and the two of them met in the empty conference room adjacent to the Technical Services Department at Abstract Devices Inc. "Well Bill, is...
Cum hungry paper boy sissyWhen I was thirteen our next door neighbor Pat offered me a summer jobhelping him deliver papers and magazines. I quickly said yes and myfoster parents agreed. I liked Pat a lot as he always patted my ass whenVance and Liz were doing something when he came over for dinner as hesmiled and winked. I loved the way it felt and smiled back as my cock gothard.I was light build and kept my long blonde hair in a pony tail and alwayswore cut off jean shorts. I had also been...