The Virgin
There are three types of girls I don’t trust: girls who are horny yet don’t have sex, girls who believe in pinky swears, and girls who say Snoop Dogg’s ‘Ain’t No Fun’ is ‘their song.’ If a guy suggested that a single line in that song were true about them or ought to happen that night, that guy would be ‘such a dick.’ Sadly, in college these were the only girls I was able to attract, which equated to silliness, unfulfilled boners, and long nights of masturbating in the fraternity computer room....