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Cum On Wives

CumOnWives.com, the website that restores faith in marriage! Cumonwives.com, the website that's much more than meets the eye! One could never tell that the page that I am reviewing is actually a premium joint due to the outdated design and a shitshow of amateur chicks in their thirties! Well, fuckers, one way to look at cumonwives.com is to see it as a game changer, and the other one is to describe it as a conceited-ass hypocrite that gets content from horny fuckers and sells it as exclusive...

Jesse Loads Monster Facials

Nothing speaks about a website's sense of style as much as a toilet paper pattern as a background. I am not talking about that expensive, all-white, three-layers shit paper that smells like peaches. No, I am talking about the cheap, recycled one that you tear with your fingers while you wipe your ass. This would make some sense if jesseloadsmonsterfacials.com was about scat, but it's not. It's about huge facials, but I guess that a chick needs something to wipe her face when the cameras turn...

EuroBabeFacials

Euro Babe Facials! One of the most challenging questions I face on a day-to-day basis is where to cum. There are so many great options out there that it can be difficult to choose. That goes doubly so when you have as much sex as I do. I like to mix it up, but it's hard not to get repetitive when you're fucking five or six times a day.My Favorite Body Parts to Baste in CumToday we'll be talking about a certain popular place to bust a nut, so in preparation, I figured I'd cover my favorite areas...

Cum For Cover

CumForCover.com, sounding like some warfare cry from Shaving Ryan's Privates! I don't know why the pages come up with such crappy names, but there is something about cumforcover.com that cracks me up. I guess I am in a good mood, and that's one hell of good news for the page that I am about to review. Cumforcover.com is a premium joint, meaning that the bar in my mind is set very high and that I am gonna use every opportunity to shit on stuff I don't like. Let's see if I'll dig up some dirt!Who...

Cum Blast City

There are a million different ways to have sex out there and as many fetishes as there are people. From cock and ball torture to bronies, it's amazing what can make a dude hard. After years in the business, nothing surprises me anymore. I don't think there is a single thing in this vast universe of ours that couldn't be fucked or jerked off to.The Many Faces of FuckingI have no idea how many different ways I've cum. I'm sure that by now, I've covered the gambit. Pussies, assholes, and mouths...

Bukkake Fest

The name of the game today is bukkake, so I figured I would do a little research into the largest bukkake I could find on film. Unsurprisingly, it's pretty difficult to get official numbers on that sort of thing. It turns out the Guinness book of world records doesn't keep track of that one for some reason.The Guinness Book of Porn RecordsI can't imagine why. The Guinness Book of World Records was initially printed to help settle bar disputes. Sex is often the subject of bar disputes, so it...

Cum Perfection

What does Cum Perfection mean to you? Is it a smooth, creamy homogenous texture or simply the feel of the stuff erupting from the tip of your pee hole after an exhilarating buildup? Others may define their ideal of seminal flawlessness in terms of volume, aroma, color or flavor. Honestly, though, if you’re a straight dude, there’s a good chance you’ll share the opinion of whoever’s running this next joint. To them, Cum Perfection is all about where all that sticky spunk ends up by the end of...

Party Bukkake

What is it exactly that makes bukkake so fucking arousing? Straight men hate the look, feel, smell and general existence of cum. I know that much. You don’t have to tell me – I produce my own, thank you. That shit smells rancid and I eat a lot of pineapples so it’s not like I’m not at least trying my best. And yet, even though my spunk smells like decaying roadkill, women can’t get enough of it. Every single woman I’ve ever slept with has swallowed my cum at least once – and that’s a lot of...

BlowBangGirls

Blow Bang Girls! Where should I cum? It's an age-old question with as many answers as grains of sand on all the world's beaches. While men may not have as potent of orgasms as women do, we get the gift of cum. We get to see our nut fly out of our body, travel through the air, and land on the object of our choosing. Our cock doubles as a paintbrush, and everything around us is a canvas.Cum Where you AreI can tell you my favorite three places to cum without even thinking about it. Give me a...

America Bukkake

It all started a couple of decades ago when some Japanese fucker came up with the idea to turn simple facials into something spectacular. Over the years, people grew to like the sight of loads of cum dripping down chicks' faces, and someone came up with the word bukkake. Today, the word stands to describe a fetish that has conquered the world.I am sure that the word means something else in Japanese, but who the hell cares? Have you ever given much thought to why people call cocks cocks, and who...

FapHouse Bukkake

Welcome to faphouse.com, the house that you've visited far too many times! Writing a review on a page like this almost makes me feel like one of those MTV Crib fuckers who show their refrigerators and private cinemas to a crowd of mere mortals. I've been on this page a gazillion times, I know it as the back of my hand, but I do know that some fuckers still haven't had the chance to buy their place of this xxx heaven. So, here comes another review to convince you that you do deserve that naughty...

Adult Empire Facials

When it comes to cumming, the face is one of my favorite options. There are a million reasons for this, but I think what guys genuinely love is how demeaning it is. If a bitch lets you cum on her face, it's evidence that she would do anything for you. Plus, it gives us a great view of our work. The more of her face I leave painted, the more pride I feel.Jizz WinsThere is something satisfying in watching a bitch have to get up and go to the bathroom to clean your jizz wad off of her face. For...

AEBN Bukkake

What’s up, you fantastic freak!? Today, we’re gonna be exploring one of the most timeless porn categories since the birth of the internet! We all know the few categories that have stood the test of time. The one’s that may not be in our top 5 recent porn searches, but if they were mentioned, we’d know exactly what they were and why there were so popular at one time. You’ll know one of those timeless relics of the porn industry as “Bukkake”.That’s right, my friend! I’m talking about those creamy...

HotMovies Facials

If you guys are regular readers, then you know how much I love HotMovies. The pay-by-the-minute model is perfect for my readers who want access to premium paid porn but don't want to pay monthly subscription rates.Pay to Play with YourselfI understand why some people wouldn't. When you pay a monthly subscription, you're investing in a whole lot of porn you won't watch. I don't think there is a single porn site where I want to watch every title. If there was, I would have found it by now.In this...

British Bukkake

Do you get horny as fuck about beautiful British women that want to chug cock like they are dying tomorrow? What about horny bitches that love being surrounded by hung studs, drowning in their cum? That may sound like a tall order. You may feel like you cannot find a site that actually delivers that kind of content. But boy, you would be dead wrong to assume that!What makes my ass so certain? Because once you visit British Bukkake, you can find all of this content and more! It is a wide variety...

Tampa Bukkake

TampaBukkake! Bukkake is an interesting thing. First of all, I'm surprised it came from Japan. It sounds like some shit that would come from Florida. Second, I'm surprised it has a name. It could have gone unnamed and just been how gang bangs end.Instead, bukkake has gained a life of its own. It became its own entity with its own fanbase. If it didn't already exist, I would assume that not very many men want to stand inches away from a dozen guys all cumming, but I would have been wrong. It...

Extreme Bukkake

Have you ever wanted to bathe in buckets of cum? Of course, you haven’t. That’s a female dream. Women were meant to bathe in cum and men were meant to supply it. But alas, one man can only provide so much cum in a single load. Hell, you could barely fill up an espresso cup in a single day’s worth of faps and that’s if you actually optimize for time. To get a bitch properly doused in cum you’re going to need a lot of help. It’s going to take a veritable army’s worth of fappers to glaze a woman...

Facial Casting

Shove that Warning adult content shit up your ass! Show me the girls! Hello facialcasting.com, TPD is here! Where does that noise come from? Oh, it's some Kathy slut bullshitting about herself before a big dong appears, fucks her POV-style, and then shoots a load all over her pretty face! The trailer is dang hot!From time to time, I stumble upon a website that is so obviously phenomenal that I almost take my wallet out and go with the yearly plan. Ha, I am just messing with you! You all know...

1000 Facials

What the fuck is 1000 Facials? If you guessed a Swedish death metal band that sings about skin cleansers, you are sort of right. Cum is a skin cleanser. Or so I have heard.If you guessed it’s how many facials you need before you look beautiful forever, you’re fucking wrong. Skin care treatments are a scam, and you will look fucking ancient as Old Man Time turns the clocks and forces your ass to age just like the rest of them. So what in the fuck is 1000 Facials anyway?It is a premium porn site...

Splat Bukkake

SplatBukkake slid into my DMs this morning, and I immediately dug out my raincoat and a pair of safety goggles to protect the ol’ peepers. Just from the name alone, I knew this was going to be a messy one. I’m not sure there is such a thing as clean, well-contained bukkake, but I guess that’d be a hell of a gimmick if anybody could ever pull it off. On the other hand, the SPLAT in the title here hints at an extra sloppy, cum-drenched extravaganza of ejaculation that sounds a lot hotter than...

BukkakeNow

Bukkake Now! Stop the phony bukkake shows! Here comes the real deal! A stream of Japanese cum is in the house, ready to entertain! Meet bukkakenow.com, the site of a pretty straightforward name and one purpose only - prove that Japanese chicks are pros at taking cum all over their faces without blinking an eye. The Land of The Rising Sun, or better said The Land of The Dripping Cum, and this is probably the most offensive thing I have ever written about the land of Samurais! Never mind! Here...

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