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"If you had taken my advice, we could've stayed home and played together," her other self said.

“Not now,” Taylor said. She managed to stop herself from slamming the door to her room and waking her parents.

"This has happened three times now. You obviously have a problem with the guys around here."

“It's only been three.”

"What's happened all three times, though?" it asked her. "You dress up so pretty and colorful, their jaw drops at seeing you, and then-"

“Then they think I'm easy just because my skirt is a little revealing for once,” she said.

"That's not what I was going to say."

“Then what, Ash?” her voice trying to remain quiet. “What am I doing wrong, because you wouldn't be saying that if the problem wasn't me!”

"Well maybe the first guy got away when you jumped at his hand touching your thigh during a movie?"

“He felt me up!”

"No, that was the second guy. The quickest way to a girl’s heart certainly isn’t her butt."

“Thanks for the sympathy.”

"But what happened tonight? Sure, he was awkward, but-"

“He put his arm around me, and I didn't want that.”

"Well what do you want, then?"

She shook her head. She didn't have a clue.

"Taylor, why am I here?"

“Ash-”

"Why am I here?" it insisted.

She sighed, trying to remember the exact words. “Because I have no confidence,” she stammered.

"And?"

“And I don't know what I'm doing. I've lived a sheltered life because I don't want to get in trouble and if I'm not sure I want to do something, I don't do it. I protect myself like I'm Fort Knox, and I don't let anyone in but you.”

"Yes, and we're both thankful for that."

“What do you mean?”

Ash took control of her body, and pulled out the nightstand's drawer. "I'm going to show you something," it said. It took an old hairbrush out before pushing the drawer back into place. "Do you recognize this?" it asked, making her look it over.

“That's sis' old brush,” she said. “Why do you have it?”

It moved her body onto the bed. It grabbed the pillows, and set them up against the backboard. She watched as it positioned her, keeping her legs together as it pulled them in halfway.

“Ash, what are you doing?”

It ignored her question and left the brush in her lap, sitting vertically against her skirt and between her legs. She felt familiar with this position, blushing over what it meant, but couldn't place what that was. It moved her hands over her heart, tucking her wrists under her ample breasts. The contradiction it created was unwelcome: the pleasure of Ash’s touch was undeniable, yet the fear of where it was taking her seemed palpable.

“I feel so weird,” she told it.

"This isn't weird. We've done this a few times before."

“We have? When? What did we do?”

Ash slowed her breathing, and fixed her gaze on her heaving chest. "I didn't let you in on what I was doing because you weren't ready."

She thought for a moment about what that meant, and said “You did things to me behind my back?”

"Not to you; for you. Like this."

It took over her arms again, pulling them out enough to cup her breasts in her hands. With a slight squeeze, her eyes opened wide, and she began to hyperventilate.

"Relax," it told her. "It's just us. This is what I do when it's two in the morning, and you can't sleep."

“You violate me?”

"Don't tell me such lies. If that's what you believe, you can end this right now, and I won't dare try this again. It's as easy as letting your chest go. This is your body, after all. You should be the one in control.

"Yet I'm still kneading you, aren't I?"

She gulped, not wanting to accept the truth. Her face was flush with need and shame, yet her breathing slowed back to normal, accepting its touch. It's not that she didn't like this—the way Ash was massaging her bosom felt nice—it's that she thought such self-indulgence was wrong.

“Isn't this a sin?” she asked.

"Not to me," it said, "What could be so bad about making you happy?"

“But I'm masturbating!”

"Are you?"

Her hands moved to her décolletage, the other self directing her to unbutton her cardigan. It took off one at a time, teasing her with its sluggishness. She could see her puffies—protruding through three layers of clothes—and feel her flower blossom below. Her body liked the attention, but what was Ash getting at? Regardless of which of the two was doing this, it's still the one body. This was one girl, giving into a desire that a good person ignores.

“I'm still responsible for this.”

"No," Ash said. "There's nothing to be responsible for. I'm caring for you where you neglect yourself. That's all." It sounded so reassuring as it finished unbuttoning her.

"Do you see how rock-like your nipples are right now? You get so stressed when you think about love, or romance." It sat her up just enough to take off her cardigan. "I can't stand seeing you so worked up, especially after you've denied yourself so much."

“Ash-” She was interrupted by a small squeeze from her freed arm, gasping at its audacity.

"Think about it," it said. "I'm here because there are things you can't do on your own, right?"

“I think so,” she said, watching it slip the other arm out of the sleeve.

"What kind of things were those, anyway?"

She saw her other hand go to mimic its sibling, and tensed at the thought.

"Now, now. You know I won't hurt you."

“You're hurting my feelings,” she said. “I didn't think you would ever do something like this to me.” Her eyes shut as Ash used her hands to pinch her nipples through the dress. “I thought I could trust you.”

"You have before. Why not now?"

“Because” was all she could say, enjoying her other side and most intimate partner despite herself.

"Let's start with yesterday. We went to the store, remember?"

. . .

Looking over the shelf, there were so many good-looking tights that Taylor couldn't decide on one pair.

"It's just one date," Ash said, "why is this always so difficult for you?"

I want to get this right, she thought. Even the smallest part of an outfit can be the key that unlocks the entire puzzle.

"I know that," Ash told her.

“Well if you know that, then you know why I'm having trouble,” she muttered under her breath.

"We both know this date's going to go south," it said, its jaded non-voice designed to aggravate.

We don't know that, she thought. What if he likes everything up here, and then his eyes go down there and he thinks I'm a disaster? See, look.

She grabs two pairs, one black and one white.

“If I use these black ones, he might think I'm boring,” she says, trying to stay quiet. “If I go with white, he'll think I'm trying to be more innocent than I am, and he'll wonder what I'm really going to be like alone with him in his car.” She puts those back and grabs two more. “If I go with this navy pair, he'll think I'm all business and unapproachable, yet if I go nude, he might think I'm easy.”

Ash didn't understand the last assessment. "That's not what that-"

“And look at the legs in the picture on this one,” she said, straining harder to keep her volume in check. “Do you know what sheer black tells a guy when you couple them with a miniskirt? 'Come and get me.' I'm not a prostitute, and I'm sure not going to look like one.”

It was the one aggravated now. It could tell when the gears were spinning too fast, so-to speak, and she needed a breather.

"Here's an idea; what if he doesn't care?"

“Uggh.”

"Think about it," it said. "What do boys know about fashion? Zero. As long as you appear to have the basics down, he's not going to care."

She rolled her eyes, grabbing three more pairs. “Okay, he doesn't care,” she assumes, “but it's not like he's going to ignore the message. If I use these pinstripe ones, he might think I'm cagey because of the bar motif. If I go fishnets, I might as well go stand on a street corner.”

"Fishnets are fashionable these days-"

“Not for me,” she quietly snapped. “And what about this one with the black hearts? He might think I'm an emo or something. What am I supposed to do?”

"I like the hearts one."

“You do?” She put the others back, her train of frustration derailing.

"I think you're wrong about the emo thing," it said. "They're sheer, the hearts are small and endearing, and we have a choice of nude or black. Sheer is sexy, but the hearts make them cute. You're cute and sexy. It's a good match for you."

“You think I'm sexy?” She thought she could see Ash's smile in her head.

"You love to go plain, I know. These would be a perfect baby step outside of your comfort zone."

I don't know, she thought. Being sexy means guys want to make love with me, right?

"It means you have qualities that make you sexually attractive," Ash said. "I've told you that a dozen times. It doesn't mean they want to have sex with you per se."

“Ma'am, may I help you with something?”

Ash took over before Taylor could say anything. “Yes, I'm looking for these in size A?”

The clerk started thumbing through the selection. “Black or nude?”

“One of each.”

What? You know money doesn't grow on trees, she thought.

"You're going to look great in these, and you can use whatever we don't wear tomorrow for another occasion. I think this is a fine investment."

“Will that be all?”

“Yes,” Ash said.

“Okay, I can getcha over here.”

Why are you doing this?

"You want them, don't you?"

Well, yeah, but-

"No buts. The color would take you forever to decide on. Thank me later."

. . .

“I could have decided on the-mmm....” Taylor was silenced by the other's pinching her again. She looked down, and saw her dress and bra pulled down, exposing her chest.

"After an hour, at least," it said.

“You decided for me, though.”

"Why did you let me?"

The distraction was irrelevant. She had no answer.

"You don't make decisions very easily. You consider every angle, ad nauseam, until you settle out of frustration." One hand started to slide down her tummy, and the other went to replace it. Her breathing was heavy and deep, her body fully in the moment, while the other revealed its truths to her.

"I’m here to help settle things for you. It's one of the ways I help you every day."

Her fingers inched toward the brush.

“Is this another way?” she said, her eyes barely open.

"Yes."

How does sinning help me, she thought.

"It's not sinning."

You say that, but-

It shushed her, then moved the brush off of her lap. "I see what you do on your own. You always look great, but you always keep to yourself. You only have friends and dates because I step in and make you sociable. You-"

“I know that,” she said. “I live my own life, you know.”

"Not entirely."

“I wish I could.”

"Shh." It lifted her hips, and pulled up her skirt with both hands. "The thing is, I worry about you. Your isolation without me would be akin to a prison." It stroked the insides of her legs, from crotch to knees, and she shuddered with forbidden delight. "You're such a lovely girl," it said. "So many people would love to be with you, and yet you shun them constantly. I truly wish you wouldn't. It saddens me to see you so lonely."

You know why though, she thought. It's because I can't trust them. They'll do something to me, like you're doing now.

"It's possible." It began pulling down the panty of her hosiery. "You could be right, and they could do something terrible to you. On the other hand, what if they want to do something good with you? How will you ever know when you don't take the chance?"

She shook her head. It's bad enough right now, she thought. A real person could do so much worse.

Her body stopped moving. "You have to remind me, huh?"

Her bottom fell back onto the bed; she had control of herself again. “Ash? What's wrong?”

"You know what you said. You're right. Maybe you're not ready for this. Maybe you should be alone."

She was taken aback. She knew her other side wasn't that happy just being in her head, but why did it react like this all of a sudden?

Taylor rolled off the bed. They've had fights before, and there was a way to settle them. She pulled her hosiery back up, her bra into its proper place, and her dress back into position, trying to correct the mess it was making of her. The sensations from doing so while aroused were nicer than she believed they'd be, but Ash’s feelings took precedence.

A full-body mirror stood against the wall, opposite the nightstand. She walked over to it to face herself. Her appearance was still a little off, puffies in full view in the dim light and her hair in need of brushing, but Ash was the one who messed her up.

Do you like me like this, she thought.

She held her wrist behind her back, and shifted her upper body around, drawing attention to her chest. Ash seemed to enjoy that area the most.

No response.

I'm serious; do you see me that way, Ash?

It refused to answer.

“I'm sorry,” she said, sitting down on the floor and looking into her own eyes. “I didn't know you wanted to be real that badly. You know I would never hurt you, Ash.”

The silence was taking its toll sooner than expected. This was the last thing she ever wanted. “Please talk to me,” she asked, trembling at the thought of losing it.

"I want to be with you."

“What? But you are with me.”

"I want to be with you."

“I'm sorry, what do you mean?”

"I want to BE with you!"

She didn't know what to make of this. Was it confessing to her? Why would it do that?

“You want to be with me in real life?”

"Yes."

“Why would you tell me you want something impossible?” she asked. “That kind of thing hurts us both, you know?”

"I know. I know, and I can't take it anymore.

"Taylor, I've watched over you for years now. I've stepped in countless times to protect you, from the first fight against that bully, to getting you through that date tonight. In that time, you've grown so much in some ways, yet you've regressed in others. You've grown reliant on me, and as much as I should hate that and want you to become more independent, I'm also thankful for it. I'm thankful that I'm still useful to you; that you see fit to let me live. I'm thankful that you still talk to me about everything, and that I get to share your most memorable moments, good and bad. However, we know words come easy to me, so I've been trying to show you how I feel."

“Like what you're doing now?”

"Not just that," it said. "Remember that nap two weeks ago? How you woke up to a little pick-me-up?"

She got up, and went to the bottom drawer of the nightstand. Ash had done things like that before, even before she got into high school: origami birds with hearts all over them, a new hairstyle she hadn't thought about, or the one time she woke up with a new necklace on. Before the card, there hadn't been any instances of that in at least a year, if not longer. She thought her friend was only trying to make her feel better during an intense bout with self-pity.

On the inside, it had written what she thought was a sweet little message, which Ash now read to her with its intended tone.

"To the one person worth cherishing, each and every day.

"I love you, Taylor."

Her chest quivered, and her eyes watered. “I love you?” she said, her voice breaking from the revelation. “You meant that? Not as my friend, but-?”

"Yes," it said.

“For how long? Why didn't you tell me?”

"Two years."

The room went quiet. She couldn't believe it. Ash was her other self. How could it fall for her like this? They were practically sisters, or brother and sister, or maybe just siblings?

She didn't know which to use because Ash had never revealed its visage to her. Its words had no reliable sound; it changed voices often, using both male and female vocals. Regardless, she knew the voice of her friend no matter how it chose to speak. She never questioned what it was, much less why it chose to stay with her.

“Why didn't you tell me?” she repeated, choking back tears.

"I was scared," it said. "I didn't want to lose you."

Taylor closed her eyes as she sat on the bed again, resting the card in her lap.

Ash, she started in her head, fighting off her nerves. There's something I should've asked you a long time ago, but I didn't think it was important until now.

It said nothing, not wanting to make her back off by accident.

What are you?

You've never shown yourself to me; you've spoken as all kinds of people; you're a true friend, but even when you're out in front, you're still behind the scenes. Are you a part of me? A spirit of some kind? Maybe a demon, an angel, or something?

Please tell me.

"Heh." She could sense a smirk, despite the lack of face.

“What's so funny?”

"I think it's because you've never cared before that I've never had what you would call a gender, or a body. I've always been Ash to you, and I have been happy with that."

“So, what, you're nothing?” she asked.

"Not exactly."

“Then what are you?”

"The friend you've always wanted."

Tears streamed down her cheeks. Those words opened a floodgate of emotions, how she hated being so closed off in her own mind, yet couldn't break free. Her inability to trust anyone but herself had locked her away from almost everyone, and while she hoped they understood, she sometimes wondered what they thought of her. She asked herself what things would be like if she could stay, if she could talk and play with the other kids, then the other teens, then just talking to other people in general. Taylor could never answer that question.

At her lowest point, before a bully that pushed her around because of how spineless she was, Ash appeared. It took control for the first time, and it beat that bully with a ferocity Taylor wasn’t capable of. She was mortified afterward, but she was saved. At the end of that day, it appeared again and apologized. It said it couldn't stand seeing her suffer like that, and that if she wanted it around, it would be her friend, no matter how little she spoke to or cared for it. If it could make her happy every once in awhile, or at least protect her when she needed it, that would be enough. She had no idea what she had accepted into her life back then.

She smiled through her tears, now knowing what Ash was. What it said was true, but there was more to it.

A lot more, that it found out two years ago.
A lot more, that she found out tonight.
A lot more, that made her so happy to finally know.

“I love you, Ash.”

It took their arms, and wrapped them around her tummy. She began to cry, her head drooping downward. Ash reached up, and touched her cheek with their hand. She smiled, tears falling onto her dress as she leaned her head onto their fingers. In that moment of self-serenity, it took their voice and spoke to her aloud for the first time.

“I love you too, Taylor.”

“Do you mean that? Do you really love me?”

“Yes,” it said through her.

It took full control of her body, scooting onto the bed. It leaned her against her pillow and cardigan once more, and began pulling her dress down.

"I want to finish what I started," it told her. "I know we can't make love to each other for real but-"

She shook her head. It's okay, she thought.

Please, Ash.

Take me.

It couldn't believe what it just heard, but at the same time, it wouldn't let her down.

It freed her breasts once more, her nerves crackling from anticipation. She cooed at the touch of her hands, controlled by what was now her lover. While it may have been a part of her, she never thought of it like that. When it put words to her belief, Ash became its own entity completely. It was all she ever wanted; a friend she could trust implicitly. The joy of giving herself to Ash had no equal in her life.

She looked over at her sister's brush. “You never answered my question about that thing,” she muttered, her nipples being pinched and rubbed between her fingers.

"First thing's first," it told her.

The sensations from her ladies being treasured were familiar to Ash, but still new to Taylor. They were so sensitive in this moment, its tender grip both comforting and exciting. It began making circular motions with them, and she started to smile. This is so nice, she thought.

"It gets better," it told her. "All it takes to please a girl like you is patience, time, and a willingness to learn."

Do you think boys know that?

"They do. They just don't care."

Well we don't care about them either, huh?

"I know I don't. All I care about is you."

Her smile was full and bright; she hadn't been this happy since the gifts stopped coming. While it continued to massage her, her mind returned to that time, when she was doing everything to rationalize the cessation. It seemed obvious why Ash quit now. It was afraid that it would give itself away, that one gift or another would send the message it couldn't yet tell her, and ruin everything.

I wish you hadn't stopped giving me stuff, she thought. It was always nice to know you were thinking of me.

"I had to be more and more careful as time went on, too," it said. "People like your parents were becoming suspicious. I couldn't avoid being found out forever. Everyone would've thought you're a narcissist, when I know the opposite is true. I didn't want to stop. I felt like I had to."

It's okay, she thought. I understand.

"I'm sorry."

“Shh. I told you, it's okay.
“Please make love to me, Ash.
“Let me make you happy, too.”

Once more, one of their hands crept toward the hem of her dress. She opened her eyes to see, but her smile did not disappear. “You naughty thing, what are you planning to do down there?”

"You'll see," it said. It made their fingers walk up, which was cute, until one stepped too hard on the nub of her blooming flower. Her smile disappeared when her body shook.

"Sorry. You can be quite sensitive down there."

“Be more careful,” she whimpered, the power of her need exasperated by the mistake.

"You are so pretty," it said, changing the subject while it got her into position. "When you play dress-up, it's like being treated to a fashion show."

“Stop that,” she said with a giggle, her mood becoming brighter.

"It's true, though. And you're just as lovely to listen to as to see."

“Did you always feel this way? Was I always more than a friend to you?”

"It wasn't love at first sight," it said. "I liked you as a friend at first, but over time, that changed. As I watched you and got to know you, I slowly turned to capturing your heart. I realized that the odds of you finding someone else were slim, and I haven't been able to stand how miserable you've been becoming."

“Mmm...!” Ash was now intentionally toying with her button from outside her tights and panties.

"I've wanted to be your lover for so long," it said, tracing gentle circles over the most important part of her gusset. "Your smile brightens my day more than anyone else's." Its simultaneous play between bosom and bud was making her squirm a little, her tears falling again from the overwhelming power of her own pleasure.

"Is it too much?" it asked.

No, she thought. I like it, it's just that I've never felt anything like this before.

"If you're scared, I'll stop. I want to love you for you, not me."

“That's so sweet,” she said, straining to get the words out. “But please don't stop. I want to see your smile, too.”

She could feel her babymaker tightening, and a wetness starting to develop. “Am I peeing myself?” she asked.

"No, your body is preparing itself," it told her. It could feel her confusion. "If you'll recall, I was the one who took the sex ed courses. You were too embarrassed."

“Well yeah, what did you expect? I didn't think I'd need to know until I chose to marry-!” She almost yelled out from a contraction, clenching her teeth not to let out the noise. That was silly, wasn't it, she thought.

"A little," it said, "but now that I get to teach you first hand, it will all work out better than we ever imagined."

Once she relaxed, Ash lifted up their legs and bottom, balancing them on their back and shoulders. It stopped playing with her to pull down her panties and tights, getting to the waist line. “Wait,” she said. “If I'm getting wet down there, why would I want to risk getting the bed wet too?”

"Just be patient," it told her, "there's a good reason."

It let her body back down, her underwear bunched up around mid-thigh. One hand went back to kneading her chest, but the other reached for the brush. “What are you-”

"Shh. Don't talk anymore. Let me love you," it said.

She tried to relax, wanting to give Ash carte blanche over her body and soul in their most precious moment.

This is really all for me?

"Yes."

You truly love me?

"Yes. I love you, Taylor."

I love you, too.

She could feel the brush handle stroking her now, up and down, circling her pedals. Ash's newest introduction was lost on her, but it wasn't unwelcome. Her inner liquid coated the tip, the combination of hardness and lubrication making her hips push forward. "Do you like that?" it asked. She nodded, not wanting to speak or think.

"Did you know you're a sentimental girl in the bedroom?"

Her eyes flashed surprise, and she shook her head.

"One reason you love nylons so much is because they hug and caress your legs. You also want them to feel silky and soft so your future lover will be drawn to your heart's desire. You get passionate about sheer tights because the right pair visualizes this need for attention, and putting them on previews the electricity you crave, like this."

Taylor shook in ecstasy when it ran her hands along the insides of her thighs.

"But you don't want to be felt up. You need to be treasured. You're all about being held and loved; it just has to be by the right person."

She smiled. It knew her all too well.

“Huh!”

Ash dipped the tip of the brush's handle into her, catching her by surprise. It teased her, pulling the object back out and pushing it in again, but no further than the first time. "I want you to get used to this," it told her. "This is how you 'connect' with a boy when making love. It's how you'll 'connect' with me." She nodded, letting Ash do what it wanted. The hand on her chest dropped down, while she could feel the brush's handle sides rub against her flower. It was coating the tough plastic in her nectar, while her other hand petted the bald area above, inching toward her nub.

"I was afraid this day would never come," it said. "I was scared that you would reject me, and I would die. Yet, if I didn't try-"

“Wait, who said anything about dying?” she asked.

"I have nowhere else to go. If you rejected me, wouldn't I fade away?"

She had to think for a moment, her mind hazy from the foreplay.

“Aren't you glad you don't have to find out?”

A happiness filled her mind as her hand came back up, fingers drenched in her juices.

"Drink up. Taste us."

Are you sure, she thought.

"Yes, silly. You'll like it, I promise."

She stuck a fingertip in her mouth, and sucked her essence from it. “I taste sweet,” she muttered, and then began licking her fingers like popsicles.

"You are sweet," it said. "That liquid represents the happiness I experience by being with you every day."

“Ash-!” Tears formed in her eyes again. “You're gonna make me cry.”

"I told you words come easy for me."

“Am I easy for you?”

"Only in how my feelings for you are so obvious to me."

“I wish I could hold you.”

"You kinda can."

The brush handle slipped into her again, deeper than before. Her eyes shut tight, an overwhelming feeling coming over her as it pushed into her most sacred area.

“Ash-”

Her free hand gripped her bosom again, pinching a nipple once more. The toy bottomed out, her lover slipping into her depth with some urgency.

"Now, my lady: relax, and enjoy."

Taylor's toes curled from the pleasure of the mate. She loved the even, soft strokes of its toy, gliding through her with ease. Ash must have done this to me quite a few times to get things just right, she thought to herself. I should be angry, but it feels so good. I can't help but be thankful.

It felt her body relaxing where it could. She was giving herself up to it completely now. Her flower and the handle became more and more wet, her nectar starting to flow freely within. This is what Ash had wanted for years; a vulnerable Taylor, open to, and in need of its love.

"The one thing I've always wanted was to become invaluable to you," it said.

“You always were,” she said through a tremor. “I don't know what I'd do without you.”

Both hands came together on the brush, and sped up the pounding. I feel like I'm losing control of myself, she thought.

"Don't be scared," it said. "We're almost there."

“Almost?”

"Shh. Not another word."

Every thrust brought her closer to the edge. She started to wonder if she would be able to hold her voice back, if she would experience the ultimate embarrassment.

Ash, you won't let that happen, will you?

Ash?

There was no answer to her thoughts. It was too focused on her body and its need.

“Oh, Ash!”

The entire handle was inside her when her flower clenched it. Ash locked her voice, protecting her and their breathtaking finale. She saw the stars come out to play, and she smiled at their approval. The two shared in her physical rapture, a consummation between selves, celebrating with all the vigor and energy she still had to muster.

Her consciousness fading, Taylor shed tears of joy, with a heart full of love for the one being that she would never let go.