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Your name is David. You are a disgustingly skinny moron who has been a huge failure at life. You lost your job, you dropped out of college, and your semi attractive girlfriend broke up with you. Your head is shaved, your armpits stink and you have proven repeatedly throughout your life to have about as much common sense as a monkey. Like all men you have an unquenchable desire to get blowjobs from beautiful women, a desire which has never been able to be fulfilled, primarily because you are such a huge loser who is incapable of leaving your porn filled computer for more than 15 hours at a time.

Get a job? Get a new girlfriend? Make some friends? You are incapable of all of these things, yet you still find a way to beat off your 6 1/2 inch dick constantly.

Oddly enough, and for no real cosmically fair reason, things are about to turn around and become unbelievably awesome for you.

You start to wake up from your slumber....

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