Ich Will Aber Nicht
- 4 years ago
- 26
- 0
Seit wir uns im Herbst in einem Café kennengelernt haben, trafen wir uns regelmäßig. Manchmal verging ein Monat, manchmal nur eine Woche. Und auch wenn wir uns sehr gut unterhielten und unseren Austausch zu schätzen wussten, war doch von Beginn an unsere körperliche Anziehung ebenso wenig zu übersehen. Aus irgendeinem Grund hat jedoch keiner von uns bisher ein Wort darüber verloren oder irgendwelche Anzeichen gemacht, dass es an der Zeit war, uns näherzukommen. Bis gestern.
Was auch immer gestern Abend anders war. Auf den ersten Blick nichts. Vielleicht war es einfach an der Zeit, vielleicht hätten wir beide zu viel Lust und Energie angesammelt.
Du kamst aus der Küche, mit der Flasche Wein und dem Wasser in der Hand und ich wollte gerade ins Bad. Im Türrahmen liefen wir fast ineinander. "Huch", "Ups, entschuldige", und Grinsen, daß mehr verlegen als locker war. Wir blieben stehen und sahen uns an. Du hast dich zu mir gebeugt und mich geküsst. Einfach so. Es war ein fester, fast schon fordernder Kuss, der mich leise seufzen liess. Ich konnte dir ansehen, dass es wundervoll war und dir doch Sorgen bereitete. Also sagte ich nur: bin gleich wieder da..", und ging ins Bad.
Zurück im Wohnzimmer saßt du, daß Weinglas in der Hand. Vielleicht war das, was das Fass zum Überlaufen gebracht hat. Du wusstest, dass du eine Grenze überschritten hattest und hättest gehen sollen. Oder wenigstens den Wein nicht öffnen sollen. Doch du wolltest es anders. Das ist, was ich mir nun sage. Denn kaum saß ich neben dir, mit meinem Glas in der Hand, siehst du mich an und sagst mir: "das hätte ich nicht tun sollen. Ich bin in einer Beziehung." Ich hab dich nur angesehen von der Seite, mein Glas wieder abgestellt und konnte spüren, wie ein Schalter in mir längst umgelegt war. Es gab kein Zurück mehr. Du hattest dich trotz deines Wissens entschieden zu bleiben und das sagte mir alles, was ich für den Abend wissen musste.
Du hast noch einen Schluck genommen, dann griff ich vorsichtig nach deinem Glas und stellte es hinter mir ab. "Schon okay. Möchtest du gehen?"
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