The Erotic Reality Game: Guy Is First Up. free porn video

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This sounds like a joke you might have heard. It's not.

Three guys meet at a bar. One is a devilishly handsome young bachelor who normally shoots par. Another is a middle aged, average looking, divorced man with an eleven handicap. The third is filthy rich and never mentions his golf scores. Of course, they are having a drink at their country club.

Most of the conversation revolves around golf and sports until Guy, the middle aged man, says, "I've come up with a cool idea for the Internet. Tell me what you think."

"Go on," Bernie, the older man said.

"I was watching one of those reality shows like 'Bachelor' or 'Bachelorette'. I can't remember which. Well, I got thinking about producing an online reality game?"

Randy, sitting across from Guy asked, "Does this somehow involve us?"

"It could," replied Guy.

"Count me out," Randy said rather emphatically. "We've heard your crazy schemes before."

"Wait," Guy responded. "Hear me out."

"Okay, what's the idea, Mr. Producer?" Bernie inquired.

"Look, there are a couple of parts to it. First, all three of us are different ages and have different lifestyles, but we're all single. I got to wondering which of us would get the most hits from women if we put our profiles together on a blog, something like a dating site. Who would they choose to date?

"The reality part is that women will respond to one of our links with their profile. Each of us chooses the best profile from our site and arranges a date with her. She will be one of three semi-finalists.

"After having a date with the lady, we compare notes. The woman providing the best experience wins an all expense paid cruise with the man of her dreams."

"So what do we tell them about us?" Bernie asked.

"Okay, Bernie, you are a multi-millionaire and a widower. We tell them no more, not your age or include a picture. Randy, you are a young, single, ruggedly handsome guy with 'to-die-for' abs. I am the compassionate recently divorced middle aged family man with a killer sense of humor. The idea here is have them choose superficially. We don't want them checking off their bucket list for the ideal man. By the way, only women between thirty and thirty-five are allowed to play."

"Why that age" Bernie asked.

"That's the age when women are still young enough, but experienced, and have an interesting history. It's a stage when they have become dissatisfied with their life, and looking for more. It's a little like a mid-life crises, and they might be more vulnerable."

"That makes sense, Guy, but I don't think this is going to work," Bernie, the voice of reason said.

"Me neither," added Randy, the pessimist. "Anyway, women aren't gonna fall for it. They're not that gullible. They'll think it's a scam."

Guy replied with a high degree of optimism, "Some will think it's a scam, but they go for it on the 'Bachelor', don't they? Look, I really think we can pull this off. When a woman sees something she wants, there's no stopping them. That's what the cruise is all about. Hey fellas, we have nothing to lose. Come on, let's give it a try. I'll set it all up."

With a few more beers and a little more persuasion, they all shook hands in agreement.

Guy, as a computer programmer, had little trouble merchandising and commercializing the venture. He had links all over the Internet. The blog was professionally designed and read:

LADIES: A TRIP OF A LIFETIME!
Here's your chance to win a free ten day cruise with the man of your dreams.

Play the new, Bachelor4U online game. Date the bachelor of your choice!

It pictured a cruise ship along with the rules. They included:

1. Women 30 to 35 are eligible.
2. Choose one and only one of the three men below, and send him your profile.
A. Young, single and ruggedly handsome with "to-die-for abs.
B. Compassionate divorced family man with a wicked sense of humor.
C. Retired multi-millionaire and widower.
3. Tell him about yourself in detail. Pictures are preferred.
4. Send your information to the following site: and click on the link to your favorite bachelor.
5. The three finalist will be notified by e-mail. A time and place for your date will be by mutual agreement.
6. A winner for the cruise will be declared following the completion of all three dates.

For the three men involved, all that was needed was lots of patience. The responses creeped in slowly at first, then all at once after Guy posted it on Craig's List.

The contest ended six weeks later. The results were a bit of a surprise since Bernie received the greatest majority of the responses. No one was really surprised when Randy was next, then Guy..

Narrowing down the three finalists was a challenge. Some entries were long essays. Others were more concise like a Reader's Digest version of their life. Pictures varied from facial to whole bodies. Some were even topless and several were completely nude. Women were willing to drive or fly from out of state. Many were mothers seeking fathers for their kids. Those were always deal breakers. Most suggested friendships with benefits. Those offers were definitely welcome.

Randy selected Samantha or "Sam" who had just turned thirty and had big tits. Guy chose Betty who was honest about her divorce, was not pretentious, and didn't seem to take herself too seriously. She said if it hadn't been for her getting caught shacking up with her husband's brother, she probably would still be married. Finally, Bernie chose Gail who read the same books and listened to the same music as him. Gail said she had a father fetish and liked older men. Gail added that she hoped she hadn't offended him by assuming he was older.

Guy and Betty were the first to hookup. She drove five hours to meet him on the edge of town for dinner. He recognized her immediately from the picture she had sent. At least she hadn't sent a Photoshopped airbrushed photo. Betty was a pretty woman with a nice body, curvy, but not over-weight. She ordered a glass of Chardonnay. He had a Manhattan with a twist. They talked for a half hour before ordering dinner.

"What got you interested in our game, Betty?" Guy asked.

"Oh, it sounded exciting and to be honest, I need a little more excitement in my life."

"You said you are a nurse. That's pretty exciting, right?"

"Yeah, but it isn't the kind of excitement I was referring to. Since getting divorced, I haven't dated except for occasionally screwing my brother-in-law. After his wife found out about our affair, we haven't gotten together very often."

"How did that affair get started?"

"I was madly in love with him when were were both teenagers. Then he went off and married my girlfriend. To make him jealous, I impulsively married his brother. I really didn't like the guy that much but all my friends were getting married, so I wanted a ring too. Ring-a-ding-ding, I got the ring," and she showed it to Guy.

"That's a nice ring, but you didn't explain about the affair."

Betty took a sip of wine and said, "Well, I wanted to get back at my girlfriend for taking my boyfriend."

"How has that worked out?" Guy asked.

"Not well, so here I am. I really need to get away and the cruise sounded perfect."

"Where are you staying?"

Betty looked a little surprised when she said, "I thought we were staying together at your place."

"Did I say that?"

"Not really. I guess I assumed it was part of the game."

"It is, Betty, as long as you are okay with it."

"I didn't drive five hours to get a pedicure. Look, Guy, I'm past the age of playing hard to get."

"Apparently," Guy answered with a grin. "Let's order dinner."

During dinner, the two found many things in common. She was easy to talk to. In addition to being a great dinner companion, Betty intensified his sexual appetite as the meal progressed. They didn't finish dinner until after ten that evening.

Guy's excitement only doubled driving to his home. Betty followed in her car close behind. He was thrilled with his choice. Betty was perfect only he was unsure about taking the next step.

He didn't have to worry. Betty knew how to proceed, perhaps from her sexual escapades with the brother-in-law. "Can you fix me a vodka martini?" she asked once they settled in Guy's apartment.

"Sounds great. I'll have one too," he said nervously.

"How do you like it?" she asked.

"On the rocks, and you?"

"I didn't mean the martini."

"Well, what did you mean?"

"What are we here for, Guy, a home improvement inspection?"

"Okay, you mean how do I like sex?" he asked rhetorically.

"You got it my gallant lord and master."

"My wife wasn't into it much, so there wasn't much experimenting. It's one reason we divorced."

"How about if I become you sex slave?"

"I don't know. I don't know much about that."

"Oh good. Then I can show you. I brought along some toys that might help us, say, experiment."

"Like what?"

"Like restraints, clamps, plugs, dildos and my favorite, an Hitachi magic wand."

"My god, you really came prepared. It's going to take some time for me to get up to speed with all of that."

"Have you used a cock ring?"

"Nope."

"We'll start with that after I bring in my luggage."

Guy helped her park her baggage in the bedroom.

"Okay," she said. Get undressed, and I'll fit this around your cock and balls. It's easier to get it on if you are soft. So don't get too excited."

Betty took out a collection of three silver rings and said, "I didn't know what size you were, so we have a few to choose from. Later, we can use the smaller ring at the base of your cock. It helps a guy from coming too quickly. Oops, sorry for the pun."

Guy laughed while he kicked off his shoes. The rest of his clothing tumbled to the floor like snow in a blizzard.

"Alright, you're about the same size as my ex. This middle ring will be perfect," and she pressed his cock and balls into it. With that, his excitement began to show.

"Help me out of this dress," Betty purred. She wore no bra or panties to expedite the situation. She said, "I really don't like the constraints of underwear. I feel sexier without it."

This was Guy's first view of her naked body. Betty's breasts were large but not huge. Age had not caught up with them, so there was no sagging. Her nipples were large and a healthy pink. She was shaved except for a small fluff of pubic hair above her slit.

"You are beautiful, Betty."

"Thanks, I appreciate that. How about clamping these onto my tits. It really turns me on."

She showed him how to clip them on after tweaking her nipples to make them erect. It had a chain connecting the two ends.

"God, you are so sexy wearing those clamps. My heart is exploding," Guy admitted.

"Glad to hear it. Now take my wand and massage my clit. I'll give you a blowjob after you get me sopping wet."

Betty spread her legs lying on the bed, and showed him what she meant. He quickly got the picture. It didn't take long before Betty's juices were flowing and was on her knees with Guy's cock down her throat.

"Hmmm, I love the taste of precum. You are so hard and big, Guy. Let's try it in my pussy."

He didn't have to be asked twice. He rubbed her slit up and down with his prick then plunged into her hot slippery cunt. It felt so fantastic, especially after not having sex with a woman since his divorce. He had almost forgotten the sensations. Thankfully, the cock ring helped, otherwise he would have exploded after a couple of strokes.

Even then he didn't last long. He was blasting load after load of cum into her accommodating tunnel. Sweating profusely and trying to catch his breath, he collapsed on the bed,.

"Wow, that was a quickie," Betty gasped. "Maybe you haven't been with a woman in awhile. It's okay. I liked the feeling of you squirting inside me. Thanks for that, Guy. I think with my toys, next time we'll manage a longer playtime."

"Maybe in the morning, Betty. I'm wasted."

In the morning, Guy was nearly back to normal when Betty said, "Tie me up, Master."

"Really?"

"Look in my toy chest and take out the cuffs. There is a set for my ankles and another for my wrists. Put them on me, then tie the ropes to the opposite sides of the bed." She laughed and said, "I'll look like an 'X'.

"There's an orange ball that goes in my mouth. You hook it up behind my head. Be sure to use my nipple and clit pumps when you play with me. I'm your sex slave now. You can do anything you want, but don't forget the wand. Oh, one last thing, I see you left your cock ring on from last night. I suggest you add the smaller one at the base of your cock when you fuck me this morning."

A long period of submissive foreplay followed. Guy tried out all of her glorious tools of torment. For Betty, they were the implements of pleasure.

Guy pumped her nipples to a swollen erection. He loved the look, then applied the vibrating wand to them. He did the same on her clit. Betty's eyes rolled back in her head in dreamy passionate contentment.

Betty's excitement could only be surpassed by his. Guy's cock was throbbing and needed relief. He slipped on the second cock ring as Betty had suggested and plowed into her defenseless cunt.

This time Guy responded with an Olympic gold medal performance. Betty cried out with burning desire. Her orgasms came early and often. Her face turned a blushing pink and her pussy flowed with passion.

Guy's thrusts accelerated and he bore deeply into her inflamed juicy hole. He was intoxicated by the frantic undulation of her hips meeting his, each time as if begging for more. He gave it everything he had.

His hard throbbing staff began to pulse, and he shot wad after wad of his creamy sperm inside her pleasure cave filling her time and time again. He didn't waste a drop. Guy squeezed out every last thick glob of his seed before pulling out.

"My god, Guy, what a guy!" and she giggled. Betty wrapped her arms around him and gave him a deep passionate kiss before saying, "That's what I meant last night about needing more excitement in my life. You gave me what I needed just now," and she gave him another passionate kiss and hug. "I can't wait to do it again."

They did an encore but not that morning or afternoon. In the afternoon, Guy showed her the city. They went for an early dinner and resumed their debauchery after dark. Both parties had completely fulfilled their lurid expectations.

The next morning, Betty left for home saying, "I enjoyed your company, Guy. Keep me in mind for the cruise."

"Definitely!" he responded and waved to her goodbye.

NOTE: Next up, follow Bernie on his date!

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Theo had been changing into the squirrel too much, he knew that now... as a pulse of heat raced through his body from his groin. He realized that he shouldn't have come to the office.He had been spending most of his days at the squirrel in his home deep in the countryside. Teleworking most of the time, as the squirrel he felt no need for clothes, his heavy furred balls resting between his thighs as his paws raced over the keyboard. The sharp claws on his paws clattering loudly as he typed,...

Fantasy & Sci-Fi
1 year ago
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Motherless Scat

It’s time to go to the land of chocolate fountains and golden showers. That’s right. Scat, piss, shit, and every fluid in between. Ever fuck a chick in her ass and freak out when you see that little bit of shit on your dick? Then I’m sorry to say that scat isn’t for you buddy. Were you the only one of your friends that saw two girls one cup and didn’t get grossed out? If so, it’s time to celebrate it! Don’t get pissed off, get pissed on! Scat porn has the craziest, kinkiest chicks and dudes...

Scat Porn Sites
1 year ago
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Motherless Fappening

I’m not saying anything controversial when I say men love seeing women naked. It’s a fact of life as fundamental as gravity. It’s a force of nature that cannot be stopped by beast, man, or God. It’s an eternal truth and a divine mandate. As sure as the sun will rise, men will attempt to view as many women naked as they possibly can. Any man not doing so is either a sad or a gay one.This means that any woman a man sees regularly is mentally stripped down during every interaction. If any women...

The Fappening
3 years ago
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Absinthe Dreams

‘To me it’s not really a green. When I think green, I think of grass. That’s more like lemonade color.’ Erica’s nose was far too close to the glasses for my taste. Pouring the nearly clear absinthe over the rough-cut, cane-sugar cubes I favor, I tapped my spoon for a second to get her to back up. I wished I had my full setup here like I have at home, my Absinthe fountains water drippers are missed when I began to try and slowly pour water over the sugar cube. ‘Don’t you light it on fire?’ she...

1 year ago
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Motherless Arab

Have you ever heard about a wonderful site called “Motherless”? I have a feeling that was a dumb question, of course, you fucking have. Well, I am here to talk about Motherless, but I shall also pay special attention to their Arab category. If you think Arabian sluts are hot, well you are in for a tasty treat, believe me.First, I should probably warn you that the name of this place comes from the fact that their content might be a bit too hardcore or questionable for some of you. Back in the...

Arab Porn Sites
1 year ago
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Motherless Facials

Fuck yeah, life’s a bitch! So here I am, awake at 3:45 AM, after dreaming I was fucking this freaking hot MILF neighbor with heavy boobs, a flat tummy, a nice bubble butt, and sexy long legs. It was all hot and steamy, up until when she was sucking me off and just as I was about to obliterate her cute face with hot cum canon, my dream cut right off and I woke up with a tent on my pajamas.That dream ain’t coming back, but damn it! I sure gotta cum, so I boot up my laptop and type “cum facial” in...

Facial Cumshot Porn Sites
4 years ago
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Thea

Und draußen schallte wieder Punkmusik aus dem Ghettoblaster – von der Eisenbahnunterführung bis zu seinem Haus! Punks und Skater hingen da ab. Das war diese Art von Jugendlichen, die ihren Eltern das Leben schwer macht , die von Arbeit nichts hielten, sich an keine Regeln hielten, ständig auf Party machten. Die soffen viel zu viel und kotzten dann in irgendeine Ecke. Denen bedeutete doch nichts und niemand etwas. Wahrscheinlich nahmen sie auch Drogen und trieben weiß-Gott-was mit...

BDSM
1 year ago
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Motherless Fetish

Motherless is the mother of all porn sites. Motherless has no conscience or moral guide. Motherless will show you the stuff that all other porn sites are afraid to put up. Motherless will do this for free. This is seriously one of the nastiest and raunchiest sites out there and Motherless/Fetish is perhaps one of the dirtiest places on the web that are well within reach. Sure you can scan the dark web and find something even more naughty or puzzlingly gross, but why do that when you’ve got...

Fetish Porn Sites
3 years ago
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Absinthe 2 The Absinthe of Malice

Absinthe 2: The Absinthe of Malice By Morpheus The flight from Seattle to Boston had been extremely long and uncomfortable, even with the two hour delay in Chicago where I got to stretch my legs and change flights. My book had given me something to do during the countless hours in the air, though admittedly, Collin had been my largest savior from boredom. The two of us had ended up talking for over half the flight, and by the time we finally landed, I was even starting to consider...

4 years ago
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Erotic Sex With Horny 8216Online Game8217 Girlfriend

This happened when I had completed my graduation and was searching for a job. I had a lot of free time. So I used to play Clash of Clans (COC), an online game and I was becoming very good at it. So I decided to join a clan (a group of people who play that game) and came across an Indian clan. I joined that clan and things were going well. The people in that group were very friendly. They helped me out sometimes in that game, particularly a player who went by the name ‘Dragon Fist’. He was extra...

2 years ago
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Thelma and Me Summer of 65 part 2

After tea on the Friday evening Thelma stopped me as I was going into upstairs to my room. Her eyes looked wild and her breathing was heavy. “I’m going to a party,” She said in a low voice, “do you want to watch me getting undressed?” I nodded like a puppet. “Wait in my room…I’ll be up in five minutes.” I skipped up the stairs two at a time! I nervously let myself into my sister’s bedroom. I’d been in many times before – borrowing her dirty knickers and stuff to use...

4 years ago
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ETHELS DISCOMFORT 4

Harry and Rob sat in the local pub in their usual spot in the corner by themselves. They were having a discussion about what to do with Ethel. Rob has been adamant that he wants to hang Ethel by her ankles and butcher her. Harry strongly disagrees with him. Harry is convinced that if he talks to Ethel he can persuade her not to go to the authorities and they will be able to use her the same way the other men. Rob agrees to try Harry's way first but he says" if she wants to argue I'm going to...

4 years ago
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ETHELS DISCOMFORT 3

kEthel sat with her tits nailed to the work table. Her tits were swollen to twice their normal size from the beating they had received from Harry and Rob and the axe handle. Ethel sobbed both from the pain and the feeling of despair and hopelessness. She knew she would not be able to sweet talk the men into letting her go without anymore abuse. Harry and Rob arrived and again Ethel begged and pleaded with them to let her go. The men laughed and told her they still had a few more things they...

1 year ago
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Thelma and her brother

Note : This story is completely fictional!In nineteen forty six Thelma Lou Anderson was married with three kids. Linda was the oldest. She was sixteen. Guy and George was ten and Guy seven. Thelma owned a beauty shop in Kansas City. She suspected her husband Lawerance was cheating on her again. She followed him one day when he thought she was at work and saw him go into a house. A woman opened the door and he went in. That was all the proof she needed. She went home and packed her suitcase and...

Incest
2 years ago
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Virtual Reality Olympics

Professor David McEwen, and his assistant Paul Richards, have invented a very realistic virtual reality machine. Paul uses it to experience running at the Olympics, but it gets much more realistic than he'd imagined... (Author's note: I've tried to be realistic about the Olympics, but all names are fictitious) ***** Professor David McEwen, and his post-doctorate assistant Dr. Paul Richards, had developed a novel type of virtual reality machine. By using the principle of quantum...

1 year ago
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Sensual erotic massage and anal sex with a masseur Free Sex Stories and Adult Erotica Stories

I was feeling stressed lately and experienced back pain. My husband normally remains on business trips and I had nothing much to do. So I had called for a masseur to come home and give me a good rub on my back and shoulders. When he showed up my eyes bugged out. It was a he and he was super built. Hot even. That led to a sensual erotic massage and anal sex with him. I let him in asked him to set up in the living room. I went in to get changed and came back in a towel. “Take it off,” he said....

Anal
1 year ago
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Erotic Sex with a shemale during pride parade Free Sex Stories and Adult Erotica Stories

When I was growing up, I always felt different. Like I didn’t belong in this body. It may sound like a typical transgender discovery story, but it is not. I came from a very open family who would embrace every aspect of my personality. At age 7, when being a boy I wore my mom’s dress to a party and they applauded for my courage despite of attracting hatred from the rest of the family. To when I was beaten up in the college for my obnoxious dressing sense, by some men, who could accept...

Shemale
3 years ago
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Letter from a Reality Readjustor

Letter from a Reality Readjustor By Bill Hart There were a few questions and complaints with regard to reality readjustors following my story "Friends are Whatever You Make of Them". Rather then simply write a new explanatory story, I thought I'd share with you instead a letter I received several weeks ago that was the primary inspiration for the above story. I've changed the names, of course, to protect the innocent. That assumes, of course, there are innocent to...

3 years ago
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The Reality Warper

Author's note: this story is inspired by a real event, when by an accident of planning I went on a night out in a group which was just me and 6 girls, to a place very similar to Beach Park in the story. The rest, of course, is in my dreams. It had been an amazing summer's Monday night. The night before, I had attended a new church. After church, a group began discussing going to "Beach Park" the next night. Beach Park was a like a small theme park: it had water slides, rides, and side...

2 years ago
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Thelma and me Summer of 65 part 1

Thelma was 22 and like all of the young women at that time was still living at home with me and our parents in rural Kent; even though she had a good job in local Department Store. I was 15 and had just left school. The summer of 1965 was particularly fine so it wasn’t uncommon for me to sit around our secluded garden reading a Detective novel when my parents were at work. The difference today was that Thelma was on the first day of her annual holidays and had joined me wearing a very...

4 years ago
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Total Feminine Reality

Total Feminine Reality Hypnosis Text of a YouTube Video (http://youtu.be/Qr7Gkoe3GOw) that will alter the listener's (or reader's) total reality such that you will experience the world from within the confines of a beautiful woman's body Dawna Tompson May, 2015 -- I would like to put you into a deep trance. But of course no one can hypnotize an unwilling participant, so I'll need your permission to proceed. Do you agree that you are ready and willing to be hypnotized? Yes...

3 years ago
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Magic Ink V The Third RealityChapter 58

Back in the O’Connell Realm, things were abuzz also. Jillian had taken Culann to see Great Grandfather Mark’s Blacksmith shop with its many kinds of modern equipment, and he had been shown Fragrach. He, Connor, and Duncan were also shown the tractors and other farm equipment. Wolf, Carl, and James had been working on the fields and had allowed them to ride on the tractors with them. Our Mage Sisters and Ken’s Wives had all been out in the fields also checking them. Chandra and the O’Keefes...

3 years ago
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ETHELS DISCOMFORT 2

Ethel hung by her wrists while Harry and Rob left to get some rest. She nodded off from time to time but the fog of her mind cleared she realized that other than when they punched her she actually enjoyed the way they that fucked her so hard and so brutally. She enjoyed the helpless feeling as they ravaged her body. She believed that she could talk to the two men and they would release her without too much more abuse. She was wrong.As Harry and Rob drove back out to the warehouse they talked...

3 years ago
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Ethel

Ethel hated her name. She was born during the tenure of I Love Lucy. The beloved Ethel Mertz from the television show was the bane of the real life Ethel's existence. There were the jokes about her having to marry Fred. There was only one Fred in her high school class. He wasn't her type; not even if he was the last man on earth. Ethel was every bit the epitome of her name. At five feet even her looks, dress and vocabulary mimicked the character she despised. Although she fought to break the...

2 years ago
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Postapocalyptic reality 11

This is a continuation:Postapocalyptic reality 1http://xhamster.com/stories/postapocalyptic-reality-1-640119Postapocalyptic reality 2http://xhamster.com/stories/postapocalyptic-reality-2-652696Postapocalyptic reality 3http://xhamster.com/stories/postapocalyptic-reality-3-664235Postapocalyptic reality 4http://xhamster.com/stories/postapocalyptic-reality-4-702206Postapocalyptic reality 5http://xhamster.com/stories/postapocalyptic-reality-5-758359Postapocalyptic reality...

1 year ago
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Reality Kings Twitter 3000 598000

It's pretty difficult getting into porn and not knowing about Reality Kings. Whether you've found some clip of them on a popular free porn site or stumbled across their social media, Reality Kings is well-known. The studio provides some amazing porn with high-quality and beautiful girls. What they do on their website translates quite well to their Twitter account.Reality Kings holds over 630K followers on Twitter. That's no surprise considering how widespread they are in the porn industry. I am...

Twitter Porn Accounts
3 years ago
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Postapocalyptic reality 10

This is a continuation:Postapocalyptic reality 1http://xhamster.com/stories/postapocalyptic-reality-1-640119Postapocalyptic reality 2http://xhamster.com/stories/postapocalyptic-reality-2-652696Postapocalyptic reality 3http://xhamster.com/stories/postapocalyptic-reality-3-664235Postapocalyptic reality 4http://xhamster.com/stories/postapocalyptic-reality-4-702206Postapocalyptic reality 5http://xhamster.com/stories/postapocalyptic-reality-5-758359Postapocalyptic reality...

4 years ago
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Ethel 1921

Ethel's Pa was telling a story. "A man comes into the garage wanting a new horn for his Dodge. The old bulb was torn. Well, we have horns; but they don't fit his brackets..." "What did he want with a horn?" Ma asked. "Dodge cars don't need them. They have 'Dodge, Brothers' written clearly on the front." "Oh, Nellie," Pa said, but -- at least -- he dropped the story. Ethel couldn't decide which was worse, Ma's jokes or Pa's stories. Pa was fascinated by anything mechanical,...

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