You Cant Hurry Love Chapter 1
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For about the thousandth time, Dan pulled one of those red three-ring binders down off the shelf at the dating service he had joined. These metal-and-wood bookshelves lined the exterior of the room, from floor to ceiling. Red binders full of women's written profiles lined two walls of the room. Green binders full of men's written profiles lined the other two sides of the room.
Dan knew that his own written profile was in one of those green binders. As a professional writer, he had written and rewritten his profile several times. Until he felt it captured the essence of who he really is.
He sat at one of the dozen tables in the center of the room and opened a red binder.
He wasn’t really focused on the binder. His mind kept wandering.
He thought about the seminar he had only recently attended. The class had been all about finding the right life partner.
One helpful exercise at that seminar had the students define what they wanted in a life partner. What positive traits you wanted and needed. What bad or annoying traits you could accept and overlook in a potential life partner. And what you absolutely would not accept in a life-partner.
This exercise got Dan thinking hard about what he wanted. After all, you can't find the perfect life partner until you first figure out what your definition of perfect is.
Now he had finally figured out what his definition of a perfect woman is. He hoped that one of these red binders might lead him to that perfect woman today.
As a single dad to Caroline, his adopted fourteen-year-old daughter, Dan already knew that one of his requirements for a perfect woman was that she has to be a single mom. A woman who would love and appreciate not only him, but also his daughter. And who would let him love her own child as much as he would love her.
The seminar helped Dan realize that the blonde lady he had dated a few months ago definitely didn’t fit his most important requirement. This woman had actually picked him out of the profile books. Although blondes weren't really Dan’s type—he much preferred short curvy brunettes with dark Spanish or Italian complexions—somehow Dan said yes to this blonde when she asked him out.
She, too, was a single parent of a little girl. She had a charming soft Russian accent. Therefore, at first, Dan thought this relationship had potential but over dinner, every time Dan tried to tell her anything about his adopted daughter Caroline, his date would cut him off after the second or third word out of his mouth. She would then endlessly prattle on about her genius daughter.
Dan wanted to hear all about this Russian woman’s daughter; he wanted to get to know her daughter but he also knew this wouldn't work. If he married her, she would try to push his daughter out of the picture and make her daughter the star, the center of attention. Dan wanted a single mom who could accept his child, a woman who would let him into her child's life, too.
He had decided that their first date was also their last.
The seminar had made Dan aware of many other "must have," "should have," "shouldn't have," and "must not have" traits in his perfect woman, his potential life partner.
The seminar helped Dan realize that Esmeralda, his last girlfriend before the seminar, had clearly not had many of the traits he wanted. On the surface, Esmeralda being a single mom had seemed ideal to Dan. However, she had too many of the traits that Dan couldn't and wouldn't accept.
Esmeralda was a Filipino nurse. They had met at an intimate little dinner party the dating service threw for just three couples. The dating service had intentionally seated them together at that dinner, because their written profiles seemed like they would be a good match. Esmeralda and Dan had a very pleasant conversation over dinner, and they did seem to hit it off at first.
Esmeralda was short, with a dark complexion and dark hair. She had great and generous sexy curves. All in all, Dan's favorite physical type.
She liked to wear skimpy little shorts that really showed off her sexiness. Therefore, Dan didn't mind that one bit. She was also a lot of fun to be with, a great sense of humor. Like Dan, a single parent to a little girl. Yes, initially she had seemed to be just his type.
On Mother's Day, Esmeralda called Dan.
"My daughter gave me a really nice home-made mother's day gift," Esmeralda began. Then she launched into that flirty mood that Dan liked so much. "I really wish I had woken up with you beside me in bed," Esmeralda sighed seductively over the phone. "That would have been the perfect way to start this special day."
"Should I come over?" Dan asked enthusiastically.
"Yes," Esmeralda purred in a sexy tone that whispered a sweet unspoken subtext of "I want to make love with you."
Dan and Esmeralda had never made love yet. In fact, at age forty, Dan was still technically a virgin. He had never taken a relationship any further than oral sex.
Dan had eaten many a sweet pussy in his life. He enjoyed going down on women, every bit as much as the women enjoyed being on the receiving end of his carefully-honed tongue talents. A few women had even seemed to actually enjoy sucking on his long, thick, hard cock. However, partly by lack of opportunity, and mostly by choice of wanting to save himself for that one right woman, Dan had yet to slip his 7-inch dick into a tight, moist pussy.
Dan wasn't sure how he felt about Esmeralda's flirty invitation but he was eager to find out. To explore her sexy invitation to spend Mother’s Day in bed with her.
Dan broke all kinds of speed limits getting to Esmeralda's house. They greeted each other at the door with a fiercely passionate kiss. Esmeralda wore a sheer tank top and very short cut-off jeans shorts. She looked stunning. So cute. So sexy. Dan appreciatively kissed her, even more passionately. That’s when Esmeralda quickly drew away, fearful that nosy neighbors might see them.
“Public displays of affection make me very nervous,” Esmeralda explained.
Okay, so Esmeralda was shy. Dan could be cool with that. He thought he could accept her shyness, even though he personally enjoyed public displays of affection. He had been willing to sacrifice something he liked, just to have female companionship.
Only later, after the seminar, did Dan realize their relationship hadn’t worked, precisely because he had compromised on too many things that were just too important to him, things that he really couldn’t compromise.
"Come in, Dan," Esmeralda cooed sexily. She eagerly kicked the door closed behind them. She hungrily threw her arms around Dan and resumed kissing him frantically, in private now.
In the midst of their passion, Esmeralda suddenly grew cold toward him.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately," Esmeralda said in a serious tone. "And I'm scared to get into any serious relationship right now. I enjoy my time with you, Dan. It isn't you! Just this whole relationship thing scares me."
Dan asked her "So why are you in a dating service, if you feel that way?"
"I've been thinking of quitting. Even before I met you."
They talked very seriously like this for quite some time. As they talked, Esmeralda would sometimes pull Dan close and kiss him passionately, and sometimes push him away.
Dan was upset. Trying hard not to scream at her, he told Esmeralda "Your indecision is driving me crazy! I'm looking for a wife, a life partner. And I'm not going to wait around until you decide what you want!"
Dan and Esmeralda split up that very day. He didn’t feel at all good about himself, breaking-up with the only woman in his life, and on Mother’s Day, no less! But it would have been too cruel and too painful for them both, to let this farce of a relationship continue even one more day.
A few weeks later, Dan went to that seminar. That's when he realized he had been trying to accept things he really couldn't accept in a relationship. He was trying too hard to build a relationship where none really existed.
Dan was glad now that he and Esmeralda had split up. So he would be free to find the right woman. But still, he was lonely. He wanted a wife for himself and a mother for his daughter.
And that's why, today, he was back at the dating service. Looking through yet another red binder of brief autobiographies that various women had written.
Now Dan knew more clearly than ever before exactly who he was looking for. So today, as he looked through the binders, Dan hoped that he could at last find her.
Still, after three years as a member of this dating service, it was hard for him to get excited any more, as he flipped one plastic-covered page after another. Each page telling him about a single woman, in her own words.
"I just love to sit home and watch sports on TV," one woman had written. Hadn't he read that about a million times before? These women all write that, thinking this is what men like to hear. After all, don't all guys love yelling at the TV screen as they cheer on their favorite football, baseball, or basketball team?
No, not every man is like that. Dan liked reading books. Taking walks in the woods, going to the movies and listening to music. He pretty much hated sports.
No, this woman's blatant and probably phony attempt to be "just one of the guys" didn't interest Dan at all. Dishonesty is no way to start a friendship… much less a relationship! Time to turn the page.
"I love adventure," the next woman had written in the binder. "Wouldn't you love to parachute out of an airplane with me?"
"No, I wouldn't," Dan laughed to himself. "Next!"
"I’m a former Playboy bunny," the next woman had written. What kind of men was she trying to attract with a statement like that? Obviously not the life partner that this dating service was supposed to help you find. That statement was probably too intimidating for most guys, to even get her a really hot fuck—most guys would likely fear they couldn’t measure up for such a sexually-experienced woman. Such a statement almost guaranteed she wouldn’t attract the serious life partner she was spending three hundred dollars a year to find. Anyway, not who Dan was looking for. Not at all! Next!
Dan looked up from the binder. This was getting tiresome. He started to look around at the other guys, at nearby tables.
Dan could always spot the guys who were new at this. They look at the photos on the backsides of each page first, looking for someone very pretty who would make them horny. Only afterward would these guys read what the women have written. And often they didn't read the written profile at all.
Dan had done that at first, too. Picked a woman to ask out on a date, on the basis of just her looks.
There had been that woman with the looks of a model. She spent their whole date talking about her makeup. About how she had shopped around all over town until she found and bought the perfect shoes and earrings to match her dress. She had even asked if Dan preferred her hair up or let down.
Would Dan consider wearing a toupee to hide his receding hair-line? Because his developing baldness embarrassed her. Would he replace his nerdy glasses with contact lenses? Or better yet spend half a year's salary to get his vision laser-corrected, so he wouldn't need those embarrassingly nerdy glasses at all?
Every time Dan had tried to steer the conversation to current events, current movies, favorite books, favorite songs, her family and his, his childhood and hers, she always brought the conversation back around to her beautiful looks. She seemed totally incapable of carrying on any kind of intelligent conversation. Dan had just wanted to get up from the restaurant table and run away, screaming.
Then there had been the woman Dan had taken to a very elegant Italian restaurant. She had started talking about how she hates to dine out.
"I'd much rather stay home in my ratty old house coat and comfy slippers," she told him in those exact words, "with my hair up in curlers. Pop a TV dinner in the microwave. Sit on the couch with my feet propped up on the coffee table, and watch an old movie on TV."
Now there's an image of the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with! NEXT!
There had also been Lu, the exotic Asian lady Dan had met at a costume dance which the dating service had organized, shortly after the seminar about how to pick a life partner. Dan had worn his 1920s-style tux and top hat to that dance. Only one other person had dressed in 1920s style at that party: a short woman in a flapper dress. But Dan hadn't worked up the courage to meet the "flapper girl" that night.
Instead, Dan had let Lu chat him up. She was pretty. She was a successful realtor. They had left the dance to go to a more private atmosphere, a small all-night dance club. But Dan quickly discovered that this realtor drank. A lot! In fact, she seemed to prefer sitting at the bar drinking alone, to dancing and talking with Dan.
Even if she had been interested in a relationship (she wasn’t), Dan wouldn’t have wanted to pursue one with her! Because the seminar had helped Dan realize that drinking was one of the traits on his "must not have" list.
That night, Dan instantly began to regret leaving the costume dance with the alcoholic Asian realtor. Had he stayed, Dan thought, maybe he could have or would have met someone more to his taste. Maybe even the hot, sexy woman in the flapper dress.
So after a lot of bad dates based on looks rather than personality, now Dan always read the written profile first. What a woman wrote told him a lot more about her than a look at her pretty face ever could. Sometimes, he could tell as much about a woman by what she didn't say about herself in her written profile, as by what she did say.
If a woman's written profile sounded interesting to him, then Dan would check out her picture. If she didn't look completely repulsive, he would have the dating service contact her. Then it was up to her whether to accept his offer of a date.
Dan had read hundreds of women’s written profiles over the three years of his dating service membership. Maybe one in twenty had passed all of Dan's tests, and of those maybe one in thirty had actually said yes back to him. It was often discouraging. There were times Dan had been tempted to just let his membership lapse, to not renew it. Lately, he was starting to feel that way a lot again.
Then Dan's personal counselor at the dating service (a woman) had told him that it had taken her nearly four years to find her own perfect guy. Dan had been with the dating service nearly three years. Therefore, he had let his counselor talk him into renewing for one more year.
Another reason Dan had renewed his dating-service membership for a fourth year was his recollection of his bad luck in trying to find someone on his own. As bad as some of his recent dates through the dating service had been, the women he had found on his own had been much worse.
So Dan had decided to renew his dating-service membership for one more year. He had gotten a really nice haircut, bought new clothing, and started working-out with twenty-five-pound weights to keep himself looking good enough to be attractive to the women he would date. Dan was becoming ever more serious about finding and marrying the right woman, for himself and for his daughter. He was determined to do whatever it took to make himself attractive to the right woman, if and when he did finally find her.
Now here he was, once more reading those plastic-covered written self-descriptions of various single women.
"All I want is sex," the next profile said. Like the lady who claimed to love sports, Dan sensed that she had written this only because she thought that's what men want to hear. She was dishonest, and that's no way to start a relationship.
Next!
"Hmm, this woman writes well and has interesting things to say. Oh wait, look at her birth year. She's twenty-five years older than me!" Dan shuddered. He did not want to marry his mother! Turn the page!
"I love sky-diving." Next!
"I love sports on TV." Next!
"I want a man with a sense of humor. But then, don't we all?"
"So," Dan thought, "you're saying you're exactly like everyone else? Tell me what makes you, well, uniquely you. Why I would want to date, maybe even marry you, over all those other women who also enjoy a sense of humor?" Dan had read all the way to the end of her profile but she never had said what's unique about her. Next!
Dan was once more growing bored reading these same old profiles. He was just about to close the binder, when the very next page caught his eye. It wasn’t the run of the mill drivel he had been getting so bored with.
Her name was Roxanna. Dan liked the exotic sound of that name. Dan had always been particularly attracted to women with dark complexions, brown eyes, and nearly jet-black hair. Spanish and Italian types. Dark, exotic beauties. Now Dan had lately found himself magnetically drawn to Mexican culture. The food, of course. The hot beat of the sensuous, insanely sexual Tejano music, that was so wonderful to dance to. Dan particularly loved watching the amazing beauty, the unbridled sensuality and sexuality of the female Tejano music stars on stage. Selena. Thalia. Gloria Estefan and Alejandra Guzman (before she got messed up on drugs).
“Mmmmm!” Dan had been thinking for quite some time now. “If I could find a hot Latina lady like that for myself! Who would love and adore me, and let me love and adore her! Oh I would be in heaven!”
Esmeralda had come the closest to Dan’s physical ideal of a hot Latina woman. She was a short, busty Latina from the Philippines. Esmeralda had a playfully eroticism, a frank and open and honest sexuality about her that had drawn Dan to Esmeralda like the proverbial moth to the flame. However, Esmeralda had proven to be too scared of commitment. They had painfully split up. You might say Dan’s moth wings had been severely singed in Esmeralda’s flame.
Now here Dan had just stumbled on another woman with an exotic Latina name. Roxanna. Dan liked the sound of that name. Very much!
Dan liked even more what Roxanna had to say about herself.
"I’m learning how to cook without burning it!" Roxanna’s written profile told him.
"Now that's funny," Dan laughed out loud. He wanted to read more.
Another joke right off the bat. “I’m a flawed Mexican. My father came from Mexico. But I can’t speak a word of Spanish. I can’t even roll my R’s. Not even on my own name. Rrrrrroxannna! I can’t do it! See? I’m flawed.”
Funny stuff. Dan chuckled. He recalled the profile where the woman said everyone likes to date someone with a sense of humor. It seemed Roxanna had that sense of humor in spades.
"Playing board games brings people closer together," Roxanna had written. "You can learn a lot about a person by how they play Scrabble or Monopoly. How aggressive or friendly they are. How competitive. And how smart they are, or just strategically clever."
"Now, that's different," Dan thought. "And insightful."
Dan read on.
"I recently attended a women's career seminar,” Roxanna had continued. “It helped me realize a lot about what I want and don't want in a job. And in a man, too! Many of the same rules that apply to finding the right job also apply to finding the right life partner."
"This woman has some interesting things to say," Dan realized.
"My family will tell you that I’m very warm and open. And fiercely loyal to those who earn my trust."
"Loyalty and trust," Dan thought. "Isn't that exactly what I want in the woman I'm going to marry?"
"I've been taking ball-room dancing lessons recently."
"I'll be damned!" Dan exclaimed to himself. "So have I!"
"I like rock music, but I prefer jazz and classical," Roxanna wrote.
"So do I!"
Best of all, Roxanna was a single parent like Dan, raising an adopted child of the opposite sex. Dan had an adopted daughter named Caroline, and Roxanna had an adopted son named Bobby. Everything seemed the perfect match he had been looking for.
"I just have to ask this woman out," Dan thought. "But if she says no, I'll be crushed!"
Dan closed the binder. He then handed Roxanna's membership number to his dating-service counselor. The dating service would contact Roxanna and ask her if she would go out with Dan.
Dan knew that his own written profile was in one of those green binders. As a professional writer, he had written and rewritten his profile several times. Until he felt it captured the essence of who he really is.
He sat at one of the dozen tables in the center of the room and opened a red binder.
He wasn’t really focused on the binder. His mind kept wandering.
He thought about the seminar he had only recently attended. The class had been all about finding the right life partner.
One helpful exercise at that seminar had the students define what they wanted in a life partner. What positive traits you wanted and needed. What bad or annoying traits you could accept and overlook in a potential life partner. And what you absolutely would not accept in a life-partner.
This exercise got Dan thinking hard about what he wanted. After all, you can't find the perfect life partner until you first figure out what your definition of perfect is.
Now he had finally figured out what his definition of a perfect woman is. He hoped that one of these red binders might lead him to that perfect woman today.
As a single dad to Caroline, his adopted fourteen-year-old daughter, Dan already knew that one of his requirements for a perfect woman was that she has to be a single mom. A woman who would love and appreciate not only him, but also his daughter. And who would let him love her own child as much as he would love her.
The seminar helped Dan realize that the blonde lady he had dated a few months ago definitely didn’t fit his most important requirement. This woman had actually picked him out of the profile books. Although blondes weren't really Dan’s type—he much preferred short curvy brunettes with dark Spanish or Italian complexions—somehow Dan said yes to this blonde when she asked him out.
She, too, was a single parent of a little girl. She had a charming soft Russian accent. Therefore, at first, Dan thought this relationship had potential but over dinner, every time Dan tried to tell her anything about his adopted daughter Caroline, his date would cut him off after the second or third word out of his mouth. She would then endlessly prattle on about her genius daughter.
Dan wanted to hear all about this Russian woman’s daughter; he wanted to get to know her daughter but he also knew this wouldn't work. If he married her, she would try to push his daughter out of the picture and make her daughter the star, the center of attention. Dan wanted a single mom who could accept his child, a woman who would let him into her child's life, too.
He had decided that their first date was also their last.
The seminar had made Dan aware of many other "must have," "should have," "shouldn't have," and "must not have" traits in his perfect woman, his potential life partner.
The seminar helped Dan realize that Esmeralda, his last girlfriend before the seminar, had clearly not had many of the traits he wanted. On the surface, Esmeralda being a single mom had seemed ideal to Dan. However, she had too many of the traits that Dan couldn't and wouldn't accept.
Esmeralda was a Filipino nurse. They had met at an intimate little dinner party the dating service threw for just three couples. The dating service had intentionally seated them together at that dinner, because their written profiles seemed like they would be a good match. Esmeralda and Dan had a very pleasant conversation over dinner, and they did seem to hit it off at first.
Esmeralda was short, with a dark complexion and dark hair. She had great and generous sexy curves. All in all, Dan's favorite physical type.
She liked to wear skimpy little shorts that really showed off her sexiness. Therefore, Dan didn't mind that one bit. She was also a lot of fun to be with, a great sense of humor. Like Dan, a single parent to a little girl. Yes, initially she had seemed to be just his type.
On Mother's Day, Esmeralda called Dan.
"My daughter gave me a really nice home-made mother's day gift," Esmeralda began. Then she launched into that flirty mood that Dan liked so much. "I really wish I had woken up with you beside me in bed," Esmeralda sighed seductively over the phone. "That would have been the perfect way to start this special day."
"Should I come over?" Dan asked enthusiastically.
"Yes," Esmeralda purred in a sexy tone that whispered a sweet unspoken subtext of "I want to make love with you."
Dan and Esmeralda had never made love yet. In fact, at age forty, Dan was still technically a virgin. He had never taken a relationship any further than oral sex.
Dan had eaten many a sweet pussy in his life. He enjoyed going down on women, every bit as much as the women enjoyed being on the receiving end of his carefully-honed tongue talents. A few women had even seemed to actually enjoy sucking on his long, thick, hard cock. However, partly by lack of opportunity, and mostly by choice of wanting to save himself for that one right woman, Dan had yet to slip his 7-inch dick into a tight, moist pussy.
Dan wasn't sure how he felt about Esmeralda's flirty invitation but he was eager to find out. To explore her sexy invitation to spend Mother’s Day in bed with her.
Dan broke all kinds of speed limits getting to Esmeralda's house. They greeted each other at the door with a fiercely passionate kiss. Esmeralda wore a sheer tank top and very short cut-off jeans shorts. She looked stunning. So cute. So sexy. Dan appreciatively kissed her, even more passionately. That’s when Esmeralda quickly drew away, fearful that nosy neighbors might see them.
“Public displays of affection make me very nervous,” Esmeralda explained.
Okay, so Esmeralda was shy. Dan could be cool with that. He thought he could accept her shyness, even though he personally enjoyed public displays of affection. He had been willing to sacrifice something he liked, just to have female companionship.
Only later, after the seminar, did Dan realize their relationship hadn’t worked, precisely because he had compromised on too many things that were just too important to him, things that he really couldn’t compromise.
"Come in, Dan," Esmeralda cooed sexily. She eagerly kicked the door closed behind them. She hungrily threw her arms around Dan and resumed kissing him frantically, in private now.
In the midst of their passion, Esmeralda suddenly grew cold toward him.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately," Esmeralda said in a serious tone. "And I'm scared to get into any serious relationship right now. I enjoy my time with you, Dan. It isn't you! Just this whole relationship thing scares me."
Dan asked her "So why are you in a dating service, if you feel that way?"
"I've been thinking of quitting. Even before I met you."
They talked very seriously like this for quite some time. As they talked, Esmeralda would sometimes pull Dan close and kiss him passionately, and sometimes push him away.
Dan was upset. Trying hard not to scream at her, he told Esmeralda "Your indecision is driving me crazy! I'm looking for a wife, a life partner. And I'm not going to wait around until you decide what you want!"
Dan and Esmeralda split up that very day. He didn’t feel at all good about himself, breaking-up with the only woman in his life, and on Mother’s Day, no less! But it would have been too cruel and too painful for them both, to let this farce of a relationship continue even one more day.
A few weeks later, Dan went to that seminar. That's when he realized he had been trying to accept things he really couldn't accept in a relationship. He was trying too hard to build a relationship where none really existed.
Dan was glad now that he and Esmeralda had split up. So he would be free to find the right woman. But still, he was lonely. He wanted a wife for himself and a mother for his daughter.
And that's why, today, he was back at the dating service. Looking through yet another red binder of brief autobiographies that various women had written.
Now Dan knew more clearly than ever before exactly who he was looking for. So today, as he looked through the binders, Dan hoped that he could at last find her.
Still, after three years as a member of this dating service, it was hard for him to get excited any more, as he flipped one plastic-covered page after another. Each page telling him about a single woman, in her own words.
"I just love to sit home and watch sports on TV," one woman had written. Hadn't he read that about a million times before? These women all write that, thinking this is what men like to hear. After all, don't all guys love yelling at the TV screen as they cheer on their favorite football, baseball, or basketball team?
No, not every man is like that. Dan liked reading books. Taking walks in the woods, going to the movies and listening to music. He pretty much hated sports.
No, this woman's blatant and probably phony attempt to be "just one of the guys" didn't interest Dan at all. Dishonesty is no way to start a friendship… much less a relationship! Time to turn the page.
"I love adventure," the next woman had written in the binder. "Wouldn't you love to parachute out of an airplane with me?"
"No, I wouldn't," Dan laughed to himself. "Next!"
"I’m a former Playboy bunny," the next woman had written. What kind of men was she trying to attract with a statement like that? Obviously not the life partner that this dating service was supposed to help you find. That statement was probably too intimidating for most guys, to even get her a really hot fuck—most guys would likely fear they couldn’t measure up for such a sexually-experienced woman. Such a statement almost guaranteed she wouldn’t attract the serious life partner she was spending three hundred dollars a year to find. Anyway, not who Dan was looking for. Not at all! Next!
Dan looked up from the binder. This was getting tiresome. He started to look around at the other guys, at nearby tables.
Dan could always spot the guys who were new at this. They look at the photos on the backsides of each page first, looking for someone very pretty who would make them horny. Only afterward would these guys read what the women have written. And often they didn't read the written profile at all.
Dan had done that at first, too. Picked a woman to ask out on a date, on the basis of just her looks.
There had been that woman with the looks of a model. She spent their whole date talking about her makeup. About how she had shopped around all over town until she found and bought the perfect shoes and earrings to match her dress. She had even asked if Dan preferred her hair up or let down.
Would Dan consider wearing a toupee to hide his receding hair-line? Because his developing baldness embarrassed her. Would he replace his nerdy glasses with contact lenses? Or better yet spend half a year's salary to get his vision laser-corrected, so he wouldn't need those embarrassingly nerdy glasses at all?
Every time Dan had tried to steer the conversation to current events, current movies, favorite books, favorite songs, her family and his, his childhood and hers, she always brought the conversation back around to her beautiful looks. She seemed totally incapable of carrying on any kind of intelligent conversation. Dan had just wanted to get up from the restaurant table and run away, screaming.
Then there had been the woman Dan had taken to a very elegant Italian restaurant. She had started talking about how she hates to dine out.
"I'd much rather stay home in my ratty old house coat and comfy slippers," she told him in those exact words, "with my hair up in curlers. Pop a TV dinner in the microwave. Sit on the couch with my feet propped up on the coffee table, and watch an old movie on TV."
Now there's an image of the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with! NEXT!
There had also been Lu, the exotic Asian lady Dan had met at a costume dance which the dating service had organized, shortly after the seminar about how to pick a life partner. Dan had worn his 1920s-style tux and top hat to that dance. Only one other person had dressed in 1920s style at that party: a short woman in a flapper dress. But Dan hadn't worked up the courage to meet the "flapper girl" that night.
Instead, Dan had let Lu chat him up. She was pretty. She was a successful realtor. They had left the dance to go to a more private atmosphere, a small all-night dance club. But Dan quickly discovered that this realtor drank. A lot! In fact, she seemed to prefer sitting at the bar drinking alone, to dancing and talking with Dan.
Even if she had been interested in a relationship (she wasn’t), Dan wouldn’t have wanted to pursue one with her! Because the seminar had helped Dan realize that drinking was one of the traits on his "must not have" list.
That night, Dan instantly began to regret leaving the costume dance with the alcoholic Asian realtor. Had he stayed, Dan thought, maybe he could have or would have met someone more to his taste. Maybe even the hot, sexy woman in the flapper dress.
So after a lot of bad dates based on looks rather than personality, now Dan always read the written profile first. What a woman wrote told him a lot more about her than a look at her pretty face ever could. Sometimes, he could tell as much about a woman by what she didn't say about herself in her written profile, as by what she did say.
If a woman's written profile sounded interesting to him, then Dan would check out her picture. If she didn't look completely repulsive, he would have the dating service contact her. Then it was up to her whether to accept his offer of a date.
Dan had read hundreds of women’s written profiles over the three years of his dating service membership. Maybe one in twenty had passed all of Dan's tests, and of those maybe one in thirty had actually said yes back to him. It was often discouraging. There were times Dan had been tempted to just let his membership lapse, to not renew it. Lately, he was starting to feel that way a lot again.
Then Dan's personal counselor at the dating service (a woman) had told him that it had taken her nearly four years to find her own perfect guy. Dan had been with the dating service nearly three years. Therefore, he had let his counselor talk him into renewing for one more year.
Another reason Dan had renewed his dating-service membership for a fourth year was his recollection of his bad luck in trying to find someone on his own. As bad as some of his recent dates through the dating service had been, the women he had found on his own had been much worse.
So Dan had decided to renew his dating-service membership for one more year. He had gotten a really nice haircut, bought new clothing, and started working-out with twenty-five-pound weights to keep himself looking good enough to be attractive to the women he would date. Dan was becoming ever more serious about finding and marrying the right woman, for himself and for his daughter. He was determined to do whatever it took to make himself attractive to the right woman, if and when he did finally find her.
Now here he was, once more reading those plastic-covered written self-descriptions of various single women.
"All I want is sex," the next profile said. Like the lady who claimed to love sports, Dan sensed that she had written this only because she thought that's what men want to hear. She was dishonest, and that's no way to start a relationship.
Next!
"Hmm, this woman writes well and has interesting things to say. Oh wait, look at her birth year. She's twenty-five years older than me!" Dan shuddered. He did not want to marry his mother! Turn the page!
"I love sky-diving." Next!
"I love sports on TV." Next!
"I want a man with a sense of humor. But then, don't we all?"
"So," Dan thought, "you're saying you're exactly like everyone else? Tell me what makes you, well, uniquely you. Why I would want to date, maybe even marry you, over all those other women who also enjoy a sense of humor?" Dan had read all the way to the end of her profile but she never had said what's unique about her. Next!
Dan was once more growing bored reading these same old profiles. He was just about to close the binder, when the very next page caught his eye. It wasn’t the run of the mill drivel he had been getting so bored with.
Her name was Roxanna. Dan liked the exotic sound of that name. Dan had always been particularly attracted to women with dark complexions, brown eyes, and nearly jet-black hair. Spanish and Italian types. Dark, exotic beauties. Now Dan had lately found himself magnetically drawn to Mexican culture. The food, of course. The hot beat of the sensuous, insanely sexual Tejano music, that was so wonderful to dance to. Dan particularly loved watching the amazing beauty, the unbridled sensuality and sexuality of the female Tejano music stars on stage. Selena. Thalia. Gloria Estefan and Alejandra Guzman (before she got messed up on drugs).
“Mmmmm!” Dan had been thinking for quite some time now. “If I could find a hot Latina lady like that for myself! Who would love and adore me, and let me love and adore her! Oh I would be in heaven!”
Esmeralda had come the closest to Dan’s physical ideal of a hot Latina woman. She was a short, busty Latina from the Philippines. Esmeralda had a playfully eroticism, a frank and open and honest sexuality about her that had drawn Dan to Esmeralda like the proverbial moth to the flame. However, Esmeralda had proven to be too scared of commitment. They had painfully split up. You might say Dan’s moth wings had been severely singed in Esmeralda’s flame.
Now here Dan had just stumbled on another woman with an exotic Latina name. Roxanna. Dan liked the sound of that name. Very much!
Dan liked even more what Roxanna had to say about herself.
"I’m learning how to cook without burning it!" Roxanna’s written profile told him.
"Now that's funny," Dan laughed out loud. He wanted to read more.
Another joke right off the bat. “I’m a flawed Mexican. My father came from Mexico. But I can’t speak a word of Spanish. I can’t even roll my R’s. Not even on my own name. Rrrrrroxannna! I can’t do it! See? I’m flawed.”
Funny stuff. Dan chuckled. He recalled the profile where the woman said everyone likes to date someone with a sense of humor. It seemed Roxanna had that sense of humor in spades.
"Playing board games brings people closer together," Roxanna had written. "You can learn a lot about a person by how they play Scrabble or Monopoly. How aggressive or friendly they are. How competitive. And how smart they are, or just strategically clever."
"Now, that's different," Dan thought. "And insightful."
Dan read on.
"I recently attended a women's career seminar,” Roxanna had continued. “It helped me realize a lot about what I want and don't want in a job. And in a man, too! Many of the same rules that apply to finding the right job also apply to finding the right life partner."
"This woman has some interesting things to say," Dan realized.
"My family will tell you that I’m very warm and open. And fiercely loyal to those who earn my trust."
"Loyalty and trust," Dan thought. "Isn't that exactly what I want in the woman I'm going to marry?"
"I've been taking ball-room dancing lessons recently."
"I'll be damned!" Dan exclaimed to himself. "So have I!"
"I like rock music, but I prefer jazz and classical," Roxanna wrote.
"So do I!"
Best of all, Roxanna was a single parent like Dan, raising an adopted child of the opposite sex. Dan had an adopted daughter named Caroline, and Roxanna had an adopted son named Bobby. Everything seemed the perfect match he had been looking for.
"I just have to ask this woman out," Dan thought. "But if she says no, I'll be crushed!"
Dan closed the binder. He then handed Roxanna's membership number to his dating-service counselor. The dating service would contact Roxanna and ask her if she would go out with Dan.
Alma
- 04.01.2021
- 41
- 0
- Category:
- Love Stories
