Becoming A Sissy, Part 1 free porn video
This is the story about how I went from being an inadequate husband to being a porn addicted goon and finally in the past year fulfilling my sissy ambition to worship a big cock and balls. They belong to my best friend Tom who I have known for 20 years. It was a journey that took a few years but if I had been brave enough when I was younger would have taken no time at all and spared me lots of humiliation (that being said humiliation can be a turn on!)
I'd been married for about six years but our sex life had gradually fizzled out as I proved incapable of satisfying my wife. I have a small dick and while I was able to make the most of it for a few years, increasingly the only way I was able to get my wife off was through eating her pussy (which suited me, my inadequacy was becoming more and more obvious which made me less and less capable of using my limited dick to please her). It got to the point where sexual contact became further and further apart. I rarely initiated, and only occasionally would my wife push my head down between her legs to get some relief.
We sort of lived separate lives but were able to keep it together for family occasions and friends et cetera. Increasingly though my wife developed a social life of her own. I guess I could have done the same, but the realisation that I couldn't satisfy my woman really impacted my confidence. I discovered porn which seemed to be made for someone like me. I could spend hours and hours trawling the Internet watching videos, and gradually became a pathetic gooner. I could rub my dick for hours looking at these stunning women knowing I could never get them. My porn taste evolved from vanilla to anal, pissing and then to my surprise, shemales. It really surprised me when I developed a really strong interest in shemales. It's probably obvious, but I didn't really know why. Up until then I had been a pure tits and pussy type of guy.
Now I understand exactly what my journey was about. Knowing how inadequate I was I could fully appreciate a beautiful shemale with a magnificent cock. I wanked thinking of kneeling between their legs and worshipping their cock, balls and licking their arse. It just seemed to make complete sense.
X-hamster became where I spend every minute I wasn't working. I built up a huge library of video, photo and gif porn. Increasingly the only things I downloaded were shemale cock worship, sissy caption photos as well as masturbation and humiliation photos and gifs. I guess I was gradually becoming reconciled to my future, (perhaps the role I was born for), as someone who was to be humiliated and used and frankly I loved it.
My wife had never really demonstrated any interest in how I spent my time, although she was capable of the odd biting remark "off to play with your tiny dick" or "I bet you can't even satisfy yourself, never mind a woman" the latter remark was closer to reality than she could have known. I was now gooning so much I regularly lost the ability to get an erection irrespective of how many hours thinking about cocks, balls and ass licking I did.
While I was very careful about password protection, closing down my computer et cetera I suppose it was inevitable that while we were living under the same roof my wife would find out about my porn habits, although the way she did was to deliberately catch me out.
She had gone out to see some friends for the afternoon and I quickly established my wanking den. I set myself up in the living room turned on the TV with one shemale video playing on it, whilst flicking through sissy caption photographs on my laptop and started wanking gently to my shemale beauties.
By this stage I was pretty regularly mixing up pissing and humiliation with my shemale adoration. I would drink lots of water and then Goon and Goon until I had to relieve myself. I would then go down to the bathroom lie in the bath on my back raising my hips up in the air and proceed to piss down my chest and onto my face and hair. I loved it, it reiterated to me what I pathetic sexual individual I was. I would then lie in my piss and attempt to wank myself to completion.
The afternoon in question about an hour and 1/2 into this session, I was lying in the bath covered in my own piss and jerking my cock when my wife walked into the bathroom. She burst out laughing saying "I always knew you were a pathetic little wanker but this really is even worse than I thought" she took out her smart phone and clicked me lying there trying to cover myself up. All I could say was "babe babe please don’t……………."
Then she marched out of the bathroom and went into the living room. I quickly had a shower, covered myself in a towel and ran out to see what she was doing. I found her with my laptop going through all my porn files. When I came out she was clicking through my master file of sissy captioned photos and masturbation and humiliation photos. I tried to take the laptop from her but in the struggle she just reached down, grabbed my cock and balls and squeezed them as hard as she could. "Sit over there you pathetic little man, I'm going to find out what you've been spending so much time on" she spent the next hour going through everything, looking at the shemale videos (making sure to admire the size of their cocks) and even looking at a video clip I've taken of myself while pissing in the bath.
After that everything changed from my wife's point of view. While I'm not sure if she had been unfaithful to me in the past she was making pretty obvious that she was completely within her rights to go out and get fucked by a real man (her words obviously). I guess one of us should have called it quits and divorced but frankly her being out more and more just enabled me to spend more and more time on my porn addiction.
The incident with my wife really brought it home to me that I was a sissy. Again what is now obvious seemed to be a revelation back then. The fact that there was no pretence between my wife and myself, and the fact that she obviously did not care any more really gave me even more freedom to explore my sexuality.
I started wearing women's underwear. I had initially thought of buying these over the Internet or taking a couple of pairs of my wifes, but that appeared to me to be too high risk of her finding out and frankly the prospect of going to a lingerie shop to buy my underwear both scared me and excited me in equal measures. It was bound to be humiliating, but by that stage I was embracing humiliation (all those hours of x hamster slideshows telling me what a pathetic man I was had done the trick).
So one day I took the afternoon off work assuming the shops would be quiet and ventured into a department store. I had rehearsed the "I'm looking for something nice for my wife" and "she's about my size" lines so that I thought I could deliver them without blushing. My heart was beating my chest as I slowly made my way through the womenswear department to the lingerie section. As I had hoped it was pretty quiet, but unfortunately that meant the sales staff had plenty of time to help their one male customer who was presumably out of his depth. I had just started to rifle through some beautiful silk camisole bottoms when the sales lady approached me.
Can I help you sir? I will spare you my humiliation but no sooner had I got the "I'm looking for something nice for my wife" words out of my mouth, I blushed profusely. The lady put her hand on my arm and said "it's okay dear, I'm sure we can find something, what did you have in mind?" by now my heart felt like it was in my throat I was beetroot red and starting to sweat. As a result my voice became slightly high-pitched "these look nice". She smiled gently and agreed "yes these will suit you perfectly". I hung my head in shame and was about to bolt when she said "please don't worry sir I will be very discreet and find you something that you will love" I paused and looked into her kind face and decided to stay. 20 minutes later I was walking out with about 20 pairs of women's underwear (I know, overkill, but I didn't want to go back and do that again). I got immense joy out of wearing these over the next number of months.
The natural extension of my feminisation was that I completely shaved my body on a regular basis. Not only did I love the smoothness of my skin afterwards but I loved the process of turning myself into a sissy. I would look forward to the time when I knew I would have a couple of hours free to have a bath and slowly shave my body from armpits to my legs. To me it felt like a very feminising process, I even lit candles sometimes (I know, what a sissy).
Thinking about being a sissy I started to increasingly experiment with my anus. Obviously I had occasionally lubed my finger and stock at up my ass whilst masturbating, but knowing I was a sissy meant I had to explore this more which proved another very rich perversion to explore. On a trip into London I decided to buy some sex toys which would help me in this exploration. I had been very turned on by watching my porn idols with butt plugs in their ass. I bought a set of three and had endless enjoyment opening my anus with those, even keeping them in for a day and sometimes through the night. That then led me to buying a dildo. Over a period of time I used a bigger and bigger butt plug and got an incredible charge from wearing panties and occasionally a butt plug in everyday life. At this point I never really thought that it was ever going to go beyond me just enjoying myself and my addiction to porn. If you had asked me then I would have said I had the perfect life. The appearance of being in a relationship without any of the restrictions enabling me to pursue feminisation through my porn addiction, but I guess something had to give….
I'd been married for about six years but our sex life had gradually fizzled out as I proved incapable of satisfying my wife. I have a small dick and while I was able to make the most of it for a few years, increasingly the only way I was able to get my wife off was through eating her pussy (which suited me, my inadequacy was becoming more and more obvious which made me less and less capable of using my limited dick to please her). It got to the point where sexual contact became further and further apart. I rarely initiated, and only occasionally would my wife push my head down between her legs to get some relief.
We sort of lived separate lives but were able to keep it together for family occasions and friends et cetera. Increasingly though my wife developed a social life of her own. I guess I could have done the same, but the realisation that I couldn't satisfy my woman really impacted my confidence. I discovered porn which seemed to be made for someone like me. I could spend hours and hours trawling the Internet watching videos, and gradually became a pathetic gooner. I could rub my dick for hours looking at these stunning women knowing I could never get them. My porn taste evolved from vanilla to anal, pissing and then to my surprise, shemales. It really surprised me when I developed a really strong interest in shemales. It's probably obvious, but I didn't really know why. Up until then I had been a pure tits and pussy type of guy.
Now I understand exactly what my journey was about. Knowing how inadequate I was I could fully appreciate a beautiful shemale with a magnificent cock. I wanked thinking of kneeling between their legs and worshipping their cock, balls and licking their arse. It just seemed to make complete sense.
X-hamster became where I spend every minute I wasn't working. I built up a huge library of video, photo and gif porn. Increasingly the only things I downloaded were shemale cock worship, sissy caption photos as well as masturbation and humiliation photos and gifs. I guess I was gradually becoming reconciled to my future, (perhaps the role I was born for), as someone who was to be humiliated and used and frankly I loved it.
My wife had never really demonstrated any interest in how I spent my time, although she was capable of the odd biting remark "off to play with your tiny dick" or "I bet you can't even satisfy yourself, never mind a woman" the latter remark was closer to reality than she could have known. I was now gooning so much I regularly lost the ability to get an erection irrespective of how many hours thinking about cocks, balls and ass licking I did.
While I was very careful about password protection, closing down my computer et cetera I suppose it was inevitable that while we were living under the same roof my wife would find out about my porn habits, although the way she did was to deliberately catch me out.
She had gone out to see some friends for the afternoon and I quickly established my wanking den. I set myself up in the living room turned on the TV with one shemale video playing on it, whilst flicking through sissy caption photographs on my laptop and started wanking gently to my shemale beauties.
By this stage I was pretty regularly mixing up pissing and humiliation with my shemale adoration. I would drink lots of water and then Goon and Goon until I had to relieve myself. I would then go down to the bathroom lie in the bath on my back raising my hips up in the air and proceed to piss down my chest and onto my face and hair. I loved it, it reiterated to me what I pathetic sexual individual I was. I would then lie in my piss and attempt to wank myself to completion.
The afternoon in question about an hour and 1/2 into this session, I was lying in the bath covered in my own piss and jerking my cock when my wife walked into the bathroom. She burst out laughing saying "I always knew you were a pathetic little wanker but this really is even worse than I thought" she took out her smart phone and clicked me lying there trying to cover myself up. All I could say was "babe babe please don’t……………."
Then she marched out of the bathroom and went into the living room. I quickly had a shower, covered myself in a towel and ran out to see what she was doing. I found her with my laptop going through all my porn files. When I came out she was clicking through my master file of sissy captioned photos and masturbation and humiliation photos. I tried to take the laptop from her but in the struggle she just reached down, grabbed my cock and balls and squeezed them as hard as she could. "Sit over there you pathetic little man, I'm going to find out what you've been spending so much time on" she spent the next hour going through everything, looking at the shemale videos (making sure to admire the size of their cocks) and even looking at a video clip I've taken of myself while pissing in the bath.
After that everything changed from my wife's point of view. While I'm not sure if she had been unfaithful to me in the past she was making pretty obvious that she was completely within her rights to go out and get fucked by a real man (her words obviously). I guess one of us should have called it quits and divorced but frankly her being out more and more just enabled me to spend more and more time on my porn addiction.
The incident with my wife really brought it home to me that I was a sissy. Again what is now obvious seemed to be a revelation back then. The fact that there was no pretence between my wife and myself, and the fact that she obviously did not care any more really gave me even more freedom to explore my sexuality.
I started wearing women's underwear. I had initially thought of buying these over the Internet or taking a couple of pairs of my wifes, but that appeared to me to be too high risk of her finding out and frankly the prospect of going to a lingerie shop to buy my underwear both scared me and excited me in equal measures. It was bound to be humiliating, but by that stage I was embracing humiliation (all those hours of x hamster slideshows telling me what a pathetic man I was had done the trick).
So one day I took the afternoon off work assuming the shops would be quiet and ventured into a department store. I had rehearsed the "I'm looking for something nice for my wife" and "she's about my size" lines so that I thought I could deliver them without blushing. My heart was beating my chest as I slowly made my way through the womenswear department to the lingerie section. As I had hoped it was pretty quiet, but unfortunately that meant the sales staff had plenty of time to help their one male customer who was presumably out of his depth. I had just started to rifle through some beautiful silk camisole bottoms when the sales lady approached me.
Can I help you sir? I will spare you my humiliation but no sooner had I got the "I'm looking for something nice for my wife" words out of my mouth, I blushed profusely. The lady put her hand on my arm and said "it's okay dear, I'm sure we can find something, what did you have in mind?" by now my heart felt like it was in my throat I was beetroot red and starting to sweat. As a result my voice became slightly high-pitched "these look nice". She smiled gently and agreed "yes these will suit you perfectly". I hung my head in shame and was about to bolt when she said "please don't worry sir I will be very discreet and find you something that you will love" I paused and looked into her kind face and decided to stay. 20 minutes later I was walking out with about 20 pairs of women's underwear (I know, overkill, but I didn't want to go back and do that again). I got immense joy out of wearing these over the next number of months.
The natural extension of my feminisation was that I completely shaved my body on a regular basis. Not only did I love the smoothness of my skin afterwards but I loved the process of turning myself into a sissy. I would look forward to the time when I knew I would have a couple of hours free to have a bath and slowly shave my body from armpits to my legs. To me it felt like a very feminising process, I even lit candles sometimes (I know, what a sissy).
Thinking about being a sissy I started to increasingly experiment with my anus. Obviously I had occasionally lubed my finger and stock at up my ass whilst masturbating, but knowing I was a sissy meant I had to explore this more which proved another very rich perversion to explore. On a trip into London I decided to buy some sex toys which would help me in this exploration. I had been very turned on by watching my porn idols with butt plugs in their ass. I bought a set of three and had endless enjoyment opening my anus with those, even keeping them in for a day and sometimes through the night. That then led me to buying a dildo. Over a period of time I used a bigger and bigger butt plug and got an incredible charge from wearing panties and occasionally a butt plug in everyday life. At this point I never really thought that it was ever going to go beyond me just enjoying myself and my addiction to porn. If you had asked me then I would have said I had the perfect life. The appearance of being in a relationship without any of the restrictions enabling me to pursue feminisation through my porn addiction, but I guess something had to give….
Hester
- 01.04.2022
- 21
- 0
