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The need for release was everything.

Fifteen miles Jed Martin had driven from the venue, longing through each one to pull over and jack off. Desire didn’t reside in his hard cock alone, it raged in his blood – the tension knotting his muscles and stretching his tendons taut.

When he reached his apartment - the one where Patricia no longer resided - that impulse drove him up the stairs to the bathroom. No fucking around. This wasn’t one to savour, it was a fierce erotic poison he had to pump free of his system. Christ – in three years Trish had never made him feel like this.

The one thing to slow him, as he tugged at his straining zipper, was the memory of those final words. In heart-thumping dread he clicked on his phone and accessed his work-mails, erection still striving to expand beyond its fabric restraints. There was a jolt in his chest. She’d actually fucking sent it. And then when he saw her message…

Goddamn, you bitch. You little fucking…

If he hadn’t craved it already, those words alone would have had him wanking like a motherfucker. Incensed, Jed set about remedying his rock-hard condition, regretting he’d ever agreed to chaperone that damn prom.

Not that there’d been much choice. ‘Sir you’re going,’ the members of his tutorial group had insisted, the female contingent proving particularly insistent. Those eyelashes had been fluttering like an onslaught of sexy bats, none more so than the pair belonging to Tori Beeching.

Of course he’d go, whether or not Mrs Landry the VP had been press-ganging staff to provide a ‘civilising influence’. The event may be held off-site, she’d hinted, but it’d still reflect poorly on the school if the class of 2019 were witnessed indulging in pre-copulative behaviour at an upmarket hotel. Jed hadn’t fancied witnessing it either, for reasons all his own.

Talk about a confluence of events. The Trish break-up was two months past as he straightened his bowtie and exited his car to join the thronging teens at Eastwell Manor. Loss had been ebbing enough for horniness to come surging back. For two nights running, however, sleep had taken him before masturbation, so that his balls – he realised it on mingling with those posh-frocked girls all sequined and slender – were full to bloody bursting.

‘You made it, Sir!’ They were all over him in a foxy low-cut gaggle, the slinky young Miss Beeching running fingers down his tux lapel in classic Bond-girl fashion, as her date for the evening photographed him with her and his other female tutees. ‘The name’s Martin. Jed Martin.’ Her blue-grey eyes flashed with mischief. ‘How about I call you Jed after tonight?’

‘Maybe once you’ve sat your exams.’ The sentence clunked so badly that a blush overtook him. Tori had spent two years making him feel that way.

Her brand of classroom tease wasn’t overt – this girl was way too smart for that. Call it low-level seduction. The day-to-day fashion parade of casually sexy outfits – off-the-shoulder tops and high-waisted shorts, tight t-shirts and ass-caressing jeans, summer dresses as mini as school policy would allow. Her behaviour was worse. That tongue tracing its way across her lower lip when he looked, without her ever looking back. Fingers idling in her red hair and casually – accidentally? – brushing a nipple. Crossing her legs side-on, while a hand strayed oh so inadvertently between her thighs. Teasing her ear-lobe, tilting her chin to drape those flaming tresses down her back, all that infernal lip-biting… Fuck! And everything staged so artfully as to retain plausible deniability, should he be fool enough to mention it.

It barely ever took on verbal form. Just that one instance when he coached her through her self-statement for uni one-to-one. He’d made her rework it, fine tune it, finesse it. ‘You like to push me, don’t you, Sir? Academically I mean.’ The ghost of a smirk floated on her parted lips. He’d had to stifle a choking fit.

Trish had never let him take it seriously. ‘You’d love to think a skinny teenager fancied you that much.’

Well she damn well does, he thought that prom-night, his nipples still prickling from her touch. Thank God she’s got herself a hot date. The accompanying surge of jealousy took him by surprise.

He chewed distractedly throughout dinner with the other staff. Around him the students fraternised between tables and descended into debauchery, alcohol serving as accelerant. Many of their plates, he noticed, were untouched, the dance-floor providing more enticement than a lacklustre meal. Just finish dessert and go, he advised himself, as horny teens migrated to the mirror-ball’s spiral of light, but Ellen Landry had other ideas.

‘Jed, go keep an eye on those lads,’ the Vice Principal instructed him softly, indicating where Harrison Doyle and co were working crass eighteen-year-old moves on their female counterparts. ‘Make sure they don’t harass anyone or cause trouble.’

Our sixth-form girls aren’t easily harassed, he might have said, and tonight they’re the hotel staff’s problem anyway. But Landry was his line-manager, so with a heavy tread he obeyed.

The dance space was a broil of hormonal teens. Smart-suited boys were thrusting close to girls who teased like champions in their scant summer gowns. The whole floor was a confection of clingy satin, ramped-up cleavage and thigh-skimming skirt fringes – a nightmare for any sexually deprived male teacher. Mark Selby had pinned Jenny Latimer against one of the fake Doric pillars on the outskirts and her palms were sliding all over his ass. Harrison was insinuating a hand down the front of Christine Norris’s dress to cup one of her substantial tits and she was letting him. A lot of teen pussies are going to get fucked tonight. The thought dropped full-formed into Jed’s mind before any politically correct instinct could prevent it.

And then he saw her again - in the heart of the throng and blowing her lanky date’s mind. Tori’s dress was red to match that incendiary hair – strappy and low-cut, the mesh under her ribs showing off that tight little waist. Mid-thigh in length, it stretched tight over her most formidable attribute. The ass in question – that formidably toned peach of a bum – was busy too. Twerking, it struck Jed, would never go out of fashion. Her sexy rump was jutting into her partner’s crotch and he was just letting it happen, eyes ablaze with wonder. And then as though by instinct her eyes flicked through the darkness to Jed. The hair on his neck bristled and he swung away, instantly beelining for an exit.

‘You’re not going?’ the VP said urgently as he passed.

‘Some lads,’ he muttered. ‘Outside. Checking on them.’ Now get the hell out of prick-teasing Dodge.

Jed made the front entrance and kept going with no plan beyond distancing himself from the teen mayhem. I’ll give it ten minutes – say I’m feeling poorly and drive home. His dogged footsteps took him round the hotel to a patio, divided into individual seating spaces by trellised brickwork. In one such compartment he took refuge, flicking through text messages for want of something to do. Letting his cock calm the fuck down. Party music filtered into his shadowy seclusion from some little distance away.

He was responding to a friend’s message when muffled laughter distracted him. Glancing up he witnessed what he could scarcely believe. Tori had lured her lankily handsome beau away from the throng and was pushing him against the brick pillar at the entrance to Jed’s hideaway, continuing her sinuous dance-based mating ritual. The guy’s hands were wandering inexpertly over her subtle curves as she writhed. Then she slinked about and worked her signature move, more insistently this time – grinding her tight teenage ass against his crotch. He groaned and she bit her lip, undulating rhythmically against him.

Jed had no exit other than past the couple, so he stood in semi-darkness, transfixed in a kind of erotic horror. They’ve no idea I’m here, was his thought, right before Tori looked his direction, squarely clocking his presence. His body thrilled with embarrassment, but her face broke into a delighted beam and she shunted her ass even more firmly against her partner’s trapped erection. The poor bastard had no chance. Jed could almost feel that gorgeously defined, thinly-clad bum-cleft rubbing up against his own thick cock. A warning cry of ‘Oh God, careful…’ was scarcely out of the lad’s mouth before his body tightened and his hips bucked spasmodically against his hot date.

Christ - the young buck was jizzing in his pants right there at the prom. In other circumstances it might have struck Jed as hilarious. Tori simply let him shoot, jutting firmly in reverse with enthralled mischief all over her face.

‘Fuck,’ her date said, drooping onto her into mortification. ‘Oh God… Fuck!’

Tori actually smiled at Jed, before turning with a look of faux innocence. ‘Oh no, you didn’t – did you? Was that my fault? Poor love, you’d better go clean up.’ That same minx-like expression returned as he hobbled off, cursing and clutching his vitals one-handed. She stared at Jed, positively jubilant. ‘God, Sir, I’m so glad he didn’t know you were there.’

Jed made to respond, but the only coherent word in his mind was Fuck.

‘It’s okay,’ Tori said blithely, ‘You weren’t spying deliberately, so I won’t hold it against you.’ Her sweet mouth contorted into a smirk. ‘Unless of course you want me to.’

Jesus, was this what a few Proseccos turned her into? The teacher floundered around for words and managed, ‘Hadn’t you better…’ He thumbed in the direction of her hastily departed date.

‘What? Oh he’ll live.’ She giggled and took a few bold steps towards him. ‘Boys can only take so much teasing. In my experience,’ she added, like she’d been conducting extensive research in the field. ‘I’ll bet you could stand a whole lot more, Sir. Want to find out?’

Despite the rerouting of blood to his cock, Jed attempted a teacherly tone. ‘Okay – enough, Tori. I have to go back inside, and you’ve got your prom-date. Off you go.’

‘I’ve a better idea,’ she said, not missing a beat. ‘Let’s leave now together, you and me. We both know that’s what you want.’

Jesus God, this was actually happening. ‘What about…’

‘Olly? He’ll be out of action for a while. Not you though, that much is clear.’ Her gaze flicked to his rapidly pressurising trouser-crotch. ‘Come on, Jed, let’s go now before he finds me again.’

‘It’s Sir…’

‘I’ll call you what you like, maybe all night.’

Shit, this was insane. ‘Look Tori, we can’t. I…’

‘No one need see us,’ she said, like she could read his straying mind. ‘I’ll wait at the end of the drive, you pick me up. No one will ever know.’ She stared at him, lustful and earnest. ‘This is your chance, Sir. You can either get off with me or thinking about me. ‘Cos if I’m not riding you, I’m going to be riding Plan B in there, once he’s got his mojo back. Is that really what you want?’

The offer was so frank that Jed found himself yielding to it internally. The professionalism to which he’d clung for years was slipping from his grasp.

Then Ellen Landry’s voice cut through his erotic haze. ‘Tori Beeching, is that you? What are you getting up to?’

‘Nothing!’ she yelled, semi-defiantly. Jed shrank guiltily back into shadow. Tori levelled one more stare before she left. ‘I’ll be where I said in five minutes. I won’t wait long. You’re there or you’re not. Oh – and if you’re a no-show, check your work email when you get home.’

With that she trotted proudly back to the hotel, ass in full tease-mode, sweeping away the threat of VP Landry as she went. Jed stood in erectile agony, duty and lust wrestling for supremacy. A shudder-inducing vision of senior-staff with disapproving faces clinched it and he broke from his trance, making straight for the carpark. Gotta get out. Gotta get out.

He screeched down the gravel drive and off down the road before Tori could make good on her promise - split the scene like he was outrunning his own desire. Only that wasn’t remotely possible. Triumph was brief and the torment of foregone opportunity followed hard on its heels. It ranted within him all the way home, as his hard-on throbbed. All he could think of was pumping his system free of this sickness.

And then in the bathroom her email added that final twist. My second-choice study-buddy is back in action, Sir. Looks like it’s going to be a long night. Don’t worry, I’ll give it my all. Have fun

Jed’s cock was out of his trousers scarcely before he’d finished reading. The phone he tossed aside, reaching instead for what lubricant came to hand – a bottle of almond oil that Trish had left behind. He doused his rampant length, wrapped a hand around that pulsing-hard shaft – the one that might have been plunging deep into Tori Beeching – and jacked himself like a bastard.

Fucking hell, he needed to empty. Needed to free himself of this awful teen-induced tension. His balls had never felt so swollen, his granite-hard dick never needed so badly to be sated.

In some glorious parallel timeline he had driven off with the redhead and taken her somewhere secluded. He’d bent her over his car’s hood, pulled up her dress to expose that sweet pumpkin ass and ripped down the thong she was probably wearing. Now his cock was balls-deep in her clutching 18-year-old cunt and he was ramming hard, grabbing a fistful of red hair and whacking her rear an equivalent colour with his free hand. She was hollering like a banshee, at least until he tore the thong clean off her and stuffed it into her pretty mouth. Even then she was forcing out muffled yells of Oh God, fuck me Sir, fuck me!

I’ll fuck you, you little bitch, I’ll fucking wreck your teenage cunt-hole, you filthy little schoolgirl slut! Take it, fucking take it! How about I shaft your peachy ass next? How’d you fucking like that?

But her mocking face materialised in his mind and he knew that in that moment she was likely naked and riding the dick of her lucky-fuck teen lover, while her teacher reached the peak of his frantic self-abuse all alone.

Fuck – fuck – FUCK!

Jed’s balls clenched and the cum gushed from his cock, splattering onto bathtub and not obliterating Tori Beeching’s pretty face. The ooze that she might have sucked from his flagging cock splashed onto cold enamel and his whole body wilted in defeat.

Professionalism, moral victories, he considered bitterly, as he dripped his last. Take them.

Take them and fuck them all to hell.

 

 

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Bridget cried out and thrust her pelvis up against the mouth of her favorite student as she came. His mouth had been servicing her bits for the last half hour the teacher estimated. Time held very little meaning for a woman when she had a gorgeous young man eating her pussy. Harry’s tongue continued to stroke through her juicy folds while she arched her pelvis and grasped the back of his head with her left hand. Harry grinned mentally while his favorite professor shuddered and moaned...

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BridgetChapter 2

When I went to see Bridget yesterday I was actually worried she might know what I was thinking by the expression on my face. I was still high on the fantasy sex I had with her the night before, as well as the orgasm she gave me, without her knowledge, of course. I thought she might take one look at me and know about my lusty play, of which she was the star attraction. Thankfully, if she did sense anything like that in my demeanor, she didn't seem to mind. She greeted me more joyfully than...

3 years ago
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Bridget

When I started my job about five years ago, I was initially working first shift. I would be over at about 3:30-4.00 pm every day, and it was predictable. On occasion I'd get asked to stay over and pull a double shift. I didn't mind it. The money was good, I liked the work I do, and I loved the environment. After about three years, my supervisor asked if I'd be open to changing shifts and modifying my schedule. I wasn't too keen on working second shift, but I agreed to change on occasion. I...

Office Sex
3 years ago
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My House Mate Bridget

When I was younger, I needed a place to stay after my first house mate Dave decided to get married, and Bridget a good friend I had known since school said I could crash at hers.She had a house in a nice neighbourhood that she had inherited from her parents, after they had died a few years earlier in a car crash, and was more than happy to let me rent a room."Are you sure?" I asked as I carried my boxes in the front door on that first day."Yes, of course dumbass, or I wouldn't have offered!"...

3 years ago
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Discovered by Bridget

I realize that this is not one of my best stories, but I had a couple of free hours a few days ago and decided to write a quick story. I am still working on the next chapters for "My life in a Cage" and "Dana's Revenge". I apologize for how long it is between postings but it takes me quite a while to write those stories. Thank you for all the encouragement and support you have shown me. Discovered by Bridget By Tweak My name is John and I am a 32 year...

2 years ago
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Bridget Grows Up

Bridget stood there, looking down at the engine. She had to laugh, {well it's still there ... that's what I know about cars!... } She had been on the way home and her car just stopped. She was reaching for her cell phone when a car pulled up. "Hi, thought I recognized you. Troubles?" She vaguely recognized the young man, he had helped her with her groceries one day. He joined her and they both stared at the engine, the boy wiggled some wires and tried to restart it, no luck. "Well that's...

3 years ago
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How a disgusting midget stole my beautiful young wife

Introduction: A depraved midget blackmails his neighbor into giving up his new bride. PART I Im going to be completely honest and tell the whole story, even though Im ashamed to admit any of it… It started about a year and a half ago, when Kelly and I had been living in our new house for only a few months. Everything was pretty great up until that point. Wed bought the place because we were thinking it was time to settle down and maybe have some kids. Kelly, by the way, was my wife. She was a...

1 year ago
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Bridget Part 2

I'd just started working with Bridget about six months earlier when I'd gone to third shift. She's a bit on the bigger side compared to girls I'd done stuff with, and I knew a bit older. For the last couple of years, I'd been doing stuff with my stepdaughter's friends in the sixteen-eighteen range, and I'd done stuff with a couple others that I knew who liked to flirt, fuck around and have fun.Working with Bridget was fun to start with. Very outgoing, friendly, almost crude, extremely blunt,...

Office Sex
2 years ago
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Bridget Part 3

Bridget and I had been flirting since the day she started at work. With a personality like hers, it wasn't hard to like her. Very outspoken, almost too loud at times, sarcastic, funny, off the wall, and dirtier than most girls I'd ever worked with. We hadn't been working together that long which made it even more fun. She simply said what she felt like saying, if it offended someone, she would smile, smirk, and go "whoops. Did I say that out loud?" and everyone would laugh.What I did not...

Teen
3 years ago
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BridgetChapter 3

I gave Bridget one of my personal email addresses a few days ago ... one that I use in the private online world. But not laurenmom. I don't know that I'll ever want her in my online story and sex talk world. In any case, she sent me a message the same day. Even her emails are ultra adorable. And, she shared something that has me intrigued as hell. She told me that she has two tattoos. Tattoos are something I can generally take or leave. But the thought of her having ink adorning that sweet...

2 years ago
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BridgetChapter 4

Damn! Nearly 2 weeks has gone by since I've had time to update my tale of Sweet Bridget. Some things have developed. Here goes... She and I have had a couple of dates, which is how I'm referring to our outings, since I posted about this a couple of weeks ago. We've become social network friends and we're emailing pretty much daily. I'm also stopping in the store to see her as I always have. Here's something fun, that's been quite titillating for me. I haven't really touched my sweet...

2 years ago
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BridgetChapter 5

I'm not sure how I want to (or don't want to) continue with the story/journal part of this tale of me and my almost girlfriend, Bridget. I've woven parts of my real life through much of what I've written in my online life, but this is pretty much the first time I've actually just shared the real thing as it was happening. But for now I'll continue sharing this way, because it helps me think it through. And, as I just shared with one of my good online pals, if the shoe were on the other...

3 years ago
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The Nugget

The Nugget by Bronwen Welsh I was reading a paperback romance in my comfortable chair beside the bed when the telephone on the small table beside me purred softly. "Cleo? Your next gentleman has arrived and he's currently having a shower. He'll be with you in 5 minutes. His name is Reg." It was the Madam of the Golden Palace, and I thanked her and replaced the receiver. I walked over to my dressing table and checked my hair and makeup. I was wearing sheer black nylons...

1 year ago
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AntonioChapter 7 Bridget

“When you get your pure-as-pure girlfriend into bed, will you wait for her?” Bridget asked. “Or will you take her without a thought for anything but your own lust? I wouldn’t advise that. I’ll tell you why.” And this is the story she told: The reception finally over, they fled together under a shower of rice. Jim handed her into the passenger seat of the Reo and climbed into the driver’s seat. Fred already had the crank in his hand. At the third rotation, the engine caught. Fred threw the...

2 years ago
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Anything For Georgetown part eightHoulihan finds out Monica danced at a party

Monica looked behind her. Some boys had come upbehind her, and she and Nick had been surrounded, but when Blake had tripped up the stairs, Nick had whirled around and two of the boys who had come up behind them saw the gun and backed away. She got up the stairs and burst out of the house. Nick followed behind her. Oh Geez, she thought. This was bad. This was very bad. Nick had asked her about the gun during their phone call, and she’d said yes, but she never thought he’d have to bring it out....

2 years ago
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Anything For Georgetown part eightHoulihan finds out Monica danced at a party

Monica looked behind her. Some boys had come upbehind her, and she and Nick had been surrounded, but when Blake had tripped up the stairs, Nick had whirled around and two of the boys who had come up behind them saw the gun and backed away. She got up the stairs and burst out of the house. Nick followed behind her. Oh Geez, she thought. This was bad. This was very bad. Nick had asked her about the gun during their phone call, and she’d said yes, but she never thought he’d have to bring it out....

Fetish
1 year ago
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After Action Report From bridgets Nights

(Bridget's been sitting in my family room again, tossing down Irish whiskey and talking about her adventures. She had hinted about this one before, what she did in England after her rescue mission to France in WWII. So here it is. For those of you who don't know her, I refer you to Chapter 1 of "Bridget's Nights" where she first appeared and explained a lot about herself. This story contains both Male/Female and Female/Female sex. Thank you Marian as always for the errors you caught and...

4 years ago
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Moms MILF Spirits Making Bridgette Squirt

Why did I feel like I was about to have a baby? Maybe it was because Melanie was behind me, my body propped up on hers, and mom had my legs spread as wide as she could get them as she stood in front of me in the pool. The only difference was Melanie reaching around and pressing hard onto my breasts and mom having her fingers buried deep inside my pussy. But it finally felt like my body was going to get release. I looked around, scanning the area that surrounded me. The sun was bright and I...

Incest
2 years ago
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How a disgusting midget stole my beautiful young wife Part II

Introduction: A depraved midget blackmails his neighbor into giving up his new bride. PART II As you can imagine, I was completely devastated. I couldnt believe my nightmare had gotten this far. The thought of my wife having full on sexual intercourse with that disgusting little creep was like pure poison in my heart. And yet it was all my fault. I kept telling Kelly how sorry I was. She was incredibly kind and said it hadnt been that bad, even though she said it was obviously pretty strange...

4 years ago
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MidgetIron Man

Ok I dont write stories,but what I’m about to tell is true. It just happen 05/10/10 I went to see Iron Man late at night, caused I dont like k**s around talking during a good movie. So it was a nice # of people there. I sat at the top middle so I can look stright ahead. 10mins before the movie started I see this girl walk in, so I’m look for adult to be walking in behind her. I said Damn to myself a k**. She walk right up to where I was sitting and ask me was someone sitting here i said NO’...

3 years ago
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Chastity Locked Midget

“Hey, E,” Shayla Fields greeted her baby daddy.“Hey, sexy,” smiled the tall, slim former high school basketball star. “Wassup?”“I gotta work over. Can you pick up Katelyn from my Uncle Lamar’s house,” she inquired referring to their ten-month old baby daughter.“Yeah. What time?”“As soon as you can go.”“Aiight bet! I’ma head out in five.”“Thanks!”“Anytime!”Errol Reynolds locked the door of his efficiency apartment and hopped into his black 2010 Ford Focus sedan. He sped down the highway eager to...

3 years ago
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MidgetIron Man

Ok I dont write stories,but what I'm about to tell is true. It just happen 05/10/10 I went to see Iron Man late at night, caused I dont like k**s around talking during a good movie. So it was a nice # of people there. I sat at the top middle so I can look stright ahead. 10mins before the movie started I see this girl walk in, so I'm look for adult to be walking in behind her. I said Damn to myself a k**. She walk right up to where I was sitting and ask...

3 years ago
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The Gadget

"The Gadget" by Cj Wenhurst "I've got it." John said, putting the last dab of solder on a small printed circuit card. A small stubby antenna was attached to the end of what appeared as a modified bulky remote control of some sort. Jim sat back in his small makeshift lab with soldering iron in hand as the small trail of smoke from his last connection twirled up and around the soft florescent shop light. His chair creaked lightly on it's wheels as he leaned back and admired...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e8 Bridget Hooper 18 from Norwich

We’re in a concrete carpark on an industrial estate. We pan around looking at the various buildings, noting that most are marked as engineering works, mechanics shops, window manufacturers, etc., before we get to the last building in the row – the biggest of the bunch – which has signage that tells us it is “Norwich City Trampoline Center”. We pan a little further and come to rest on the less-than-attractive, but very popular, ‘figure’ of our host. All the way from West Ham in London, it’s...

3 years ago
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BridgetChapter 6

What a fun time I've had telling the story of my pursuit of young Bridget. As those who have read the previous chapters know, as well as those who have read my blog posts about this, the closer I've gotten to an actual relationship with her, the more I've been uncertain about how long I would keep this story/journal thing going. Now that Bridget and I have taken the plunge (not that plunge, yet ;-), it no longer feels like the right thing to do, nor does it even feel fun anymore to write...

2 years ago
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Underwhere

NOTE: Hey guys, this is my first story here, so please bear with me. Hopefully it forms a good base to continue from. Any feedback would be appreciated, and feel free to add a chapter. Enjoy. It was the announcement that shocked the nation. Interrupting the television premiere of the latest Marvel film, a news bulletin announced that scientists had discovered and clinically trialled a new technique to prevent Cervical Cancer and STDs that had a 100% success rate. Given the simple application...

2 years ago
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somwhere over the rainbow

It started just like every other day, nice and warm, sun was shinning, wind softly blowing threw the windows, another beautiful day was starting. I had already packed the lunch we were going to have, and tea's were packed as well, you hear me humming in the kitchen, and you sneak up behind me and wrap your arms around me, and kiss my neck, i spin around and smile and softly slap you and tell you that you scared the hell out of me, but i love you anyway, you look around and see everything is...

4 years ago
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SheCameFromNowhere

"Listen to me. No, no, listen", I paused, sighing as the man across the desk opened his mouth to speak. "Larry, for fuck's sake listen to me. You know me, alright? The studio knows me. The people know me. Have I ever let you down? In the ten years I've been with you, in the...nine movies I've been in? No, I haven't, have I? And you know my speciality, my talent, my...mimicry, right? So come on, just tell me what you think" "I don't know, Bob, it's a hell of a risk. What if you get...

1 year ago
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WhereIsMyPorn

Have you ever asked the question, ‘where is my porn?’ Maybe you have when you’ve found that your downloaded porn is suddenly gone! Oh! Your drive is failing – better buy a new one.Or when you’ve noticed that your favorite porn site seemingly vanished into thin air. Oh! It happens to the best of ‘em!Next time you ask that question, don’t ask yourself: ask your device’s assistant. Maybe that bitch Siri, Bixby, Cortana, or that hermaphrodite over at Google will show you ‘Where Is My Porn?’ Yes,...

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