Wizard Of Ooz free porn video

Dorothy rushed back to Aunt Em's trailer as fast as she could.

"She isn't coming yet. Toto - did she hurt you? She tried to, didn't she? Come on, we'll go tell Uncle Henry and Auntie Em!" she said.

Toto tried to hump her arm as she carried him.

"Aunt Em," Dorothy cried out as she burst into the crowded trailer, "Ms. Gulch was holding Toto under her dress and making him…"

"Not now, dear. We have to sort these car stereos and CD's the boys found."

"But Aunt Em, poor Toto couldn't breath in…"

"Don't bother us now, Dorothy. Billy-Bob will be here soon and we have to get a fair price for these things," Uncle Henry said.

"Oh Hunk," Dorothy said, turning her attention to their lock man. "She lured him in by sitting on a bunch of dog biscuits."

"Don't you have any confidence, Dorothy?"

"Sure I do, Hunk," she said, stroking his package. He had a nice package and she touched it whenever no one was looking.

"Well why don't you show it? Your biscuits are every bit as nice as Ms. Gulch. You should have been waving your biscuits under Toto's nose so he wouldn't go sniffing after hers."

"Oh Hunk, you just don't understand," Dorothy said.

"Heck, Dorothy, you're just too shy to stand up to that dyke. If I was you, I'd of stuck my boobs right in her face and said; "Toto ain't licking nobody's twat but mine.""

Dorothy turned, but got tangled in all the wires from the day's booty, and fell face first into Beth's ample breasts. She had to use her nipples as handholds to get up again, and Beth shivered when Dorothy let go.

"Oh Beth," Dorothy said. "I do believe my boobs would have more effect on you than Ms. Gulch."

"Ho, ho," Hick laughed. "I think she got you on that one."

Hick was souping up a White Dragon Vibrator in hopes of creating the world's first endless orgasm machine.

"Why don't you hold this between your legs and stare at Dorothy's tits while I turn it on?" he added.

"You three better stop goofing off and help out," Aunt Em said, "or we won't have enough money to pay those lawyers."

"I'll be able to afford a dream team once I build an endless orgasm machine," Hick said.

"Well don't go committing no murders just yet, O.J.," Aunt Em said.

They were still laughing when Dorothy slammed the screen door of the trailer and went over to the carport.

"They don't understand, Toto," Dorothy said, as her precious little dog wrapped his front legs around her calf.

Settling back into a reclining plastic deck chair, Dorothy clasped her hands behind her head and started to sing.

"Somewhere, over the rainbow, theptqptft…"

She pulled the little bundle of fur off her face and tried again.

"There's a land that I dream of, theptqptft…, damn it, Toto!"

"I'll take that," the sinister voice of Ms. Gulch said and she plucked Toto off Dorothy's face.

"What the fuck's your problem, bitch?" Dorothy said in her sweet little voice.

"No pets are allowed in this trailer park," she said, smugly.

"Aunt Em!" Dorothy screeched.

The whole crew boiled out of the trailer in time to see Ms. Gulch putting a leather studded collar on Toto, along with a leather vest, booties, and a blindfold.

"Kinky," Aunt Em said, but came to herself when she saw how upset Dorothy was. "What do you think you're doing with Dorothy's dog?" "No pets allowed, remember?" Gulch said. "Unless I get to keep it, I'll have the manager over. You don't want the manager snooping around your trailer, do you?"

Aunt Em, Uncle Henry, and the three boosters all took big gulps. "No," they said.

Dorothy stared at her "family" in disbelief. "Your not going to let her do that, are you?"

"She's got the law on her side," Aunt Em said. "But she won't have a leg to stand on once Rex gets back from the vet."

"Won't have much need for your little dog once I get Rex back," Almira Gulch smirked.

Dorothy watched with impotent fury as Ms. Gulch hooked Toto's leash on her reclining deck chair and took her panties off. Once she had arranged herself, and slid her ass down Toto's leash, all that could be seen of Dorothy's dog was an active lump under Ms. Gulch's dress.

"I'm getting my brass knuckles," Dorothy muttered under her breath as she went inside.

She was still searching through her dresser when Toto came slipping and sliding through his doggie-door, trying to keep his footing with the little booties on his feet.

"Toto," Dorothy cried, picking him up and letting him lick her mouth. The smell of Ms. Gulch mingled with his normal dog smells. "We'd better get out of here."

They were less than a mile from the trailer park when they ran across a small Winnebago with "Vote for Bob Marvel" banners all over it. It was the LaSharo model, so of course it was broken down.

"Hey there, sweet thing. Are you going to vote for me?"

"Naw. None of my kin pays much attention to politics. Hell, most of us can't read, much less make an intelligent decision about who to vote for."

"Hell's bells, girl. You're my constitutes, then. Take these sample ballots and tell your family that I'll give each of them twenty bucks if they'll vote for me."

"Can't. I'm running off so they can't take my dog away from me."

"Tell you what. You get them to vote for me, and I'll pass a law so they can't take your dog," Bob Marvel said.

"Cool," Dorothy said, taking the ballots.

"Hurry home," he said. "The weather channel says there's a storm coming.

Dorothy checked the darkening sky, but wasn't worried about it. The massive thunderheads were miles to the north, and heading north-east.

"Look at that," Dorothy told Toto as a huge funnel cloud formed. It was way north, clear over in the next county, so she wasn't too concerned as she made her way past the other trailers. "Where'd everyone go?" she asked when she got home.

The F-5 tornado had been tearing up the cornfields for over a mile, and had dropped down to an F-3 on its way to extinction when it suddenly saw the trailer park. Making a hard right turn, it quickly gained its former strength as it hurried down. It hoped it could get there before any of the other tornadoes spotted the trailer park.

"Oh joy," said the tornado as it flattened everything in sight. "Oh my, look at that."

A foxy looking babe had ducked into a trailer to get away from him. He couldn't believe his luck. He picked the entire trailer up and had the tornadic equivalent of an orgasm as he threw the trailer this way and that. When he finally blew his wad, the force of it threw Dorothy and her trailer clear into another world. The Land of Ooz!

"This sucks," Dorothy said as she surveyed the chaos. Everything in the trailer was busted, and the doors were completely gone.

Stepping outside, she was greeted by an even bigger surprise. She had landed in what looked like an elaborately colorful amusement park. Even more interesting, her trailer was surrounded by a large number of small men with extremely large packages.

"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore," she said, leering at their bulges.

Just then, an executive helicopter landed, and an extremely attractive looking woman in a chiffon evening gown stepped out.

"Are you an honest lawyer, or an evil lawyer," she asked.

"I didn't know there was any such thing as an honest lawyer," Dorothy said.

The beautiful woman scowled at the small men with large packages as they all snickered.

"Why are they snickering?" Dorothy asked.

"Because I'm an honest lawyer. My name is Glenda, honest lawyer of the north," she said.

The snickers turned into full-bodied laughs, and the small men rolled on the ground in mirth. Even Glenda's angry glare could not stop them.

"Anyway," she went on, casting a last glance of annoyance at the small men, "You've rid this land of the Wicked Lawyer of the West by destroying her with that strange building. You are a hero to these people and can demand any sexual favors you wish of them."

"Ah, that's nice," Dorothy, said. "But I don't think she's dead."

From the waist down, the Wicked Lawyer of the West was kicking and squirming in a very lively fashion. Her dress was pinned up under the trailer, along with the rest of her, but her ass jiggled under the ruby-red panties as her bare legs kicked wildly.

Glenda's musical voice joined the small men as they all laughed at this.

"My dear," she said. "Can't you see that liquid seeping out from under the building?"

"Why, yes," Dorothy said.

"That's the stuff from her breast implants. You've popped her boobs. Without big boobs, all females of the west are as good as dead."

"Of course," Dorothy said, feeling foolish. It was just like California in her own world. "But wouldn't men with homosexual tendencies still be interested in her ass?"

Dorothy sat on the thrashing legs to keep them still, and pointed out how attractive the ruby-red clad ass was. Even Dorothy found her ass strangely enticing as she franticly squirmed.

"Not in Ooz," Glenda said. With that, everyone dropped their drawers and turned around.

"Wow!" Dorothy said. It was the finest display of backsides she had ever seen. Every one of them was so perfect that she wanted to touch them.

As if reading her mind, one after another of the small men drew near and let her touch their backsides. She spanked many of these tight buns and had to kiss several others. "A girl could go crazy in a place like this," she said, rubbing her cheek on a particularly smooth derrière.

"Aha!" came a coarse voice. The air had become chill, and all the small men pulled up their pants. "Who destroyed my sister?"

Dorothy could instantly see that this pinch-faced woman frightened those around her, and that this might be a dangerous situation.

"She did it," Dorothy said, pointing at Glenda.

Unfortunately, everyone else was pointing at Dorothy.

"Shit," Dorothy muttered when she saw that even Glenda was pointing at her. "It was an accident," she said. "She was following too close, I signaled, and a deer ran out in front of me."

"We'll see how that holds up in court," the evil lawyer said with a nasty laugh.

"Aren't you forgetting the ruby-red panties?" Glenda said.

"I'll tend to you later," the evil lawyer said, and reached down to pull the panties off her sister.

It happened so fast, that Dorothy jumped, and then did a double take. The wicked lawyer of the east had her face buried in the cheeks of her sisters ass, and was stuck there while the ass went up and down.

"Te-he-he," laughed Glenda, her voice sounding like a musical bell.

"Ho, ho, ho," laughed the small men, their voices sounding like an emergency broadcast test.

"What's she doing?" asked Dorothy.

"She's giving her sister oral pleasure," Glenda giggled, "And won't be able to stop until her sister comes. That should give me plenty of time to bring you up to speed on how things work around here."

Dorothy tried to pay attention as Glenda explained the Goldbrick road that led to Workers Paradise City, but the up and down movement of the ruby-red panties, as well as the face riding the soft folds, kept distracting her. She was rhythmically squeezing her own legs by the time wicked of the west had her legs wrapped around wicked of the east's head and had an orgasm.

"Intense," Dorothy said as Wicked East staggered back and wiped her face with the sleeve of her pantsuit.

"I always hate it when she does that to me," East said. "Tell you what, Dorothy, take those panties, give them to me, and I'll forget about that wrongful destruction suit."

"Don't do it, Dorothy," Glenda said. "The ruby-red panties are very powerful."

"Yea, but she doesn't know how to use them," East snarled.

"I'll learn," Dorothy said, rubbing herself between the legs.

"I'll get you for this," East said, and climbed into her executive chopper. "And I'll get your little dog, too," she cackled as she took off.

"I get it," Dorothy said with glee, "since I'm the one who destroyed her, I'm the only one who can take her panties off. Look at the way she's squirming. This is going to be sexy as hell."

"Dorothy, that's not exactly how…"

"I'm going to take your panties off," Dorothy taunted. "And I'm gonna' play with your ass."

Dorothy was sitting on the Lawyers ass, and bouncing in time with her singsong. She was tickling the helpless lawyer's ribs and rubbing her crotch on the woman's backside when her hand touched the ruby-red panties.

"Oh dear," Glenda said as Dorothy's face buried itself in the lawyer's ass. "Now you'll have to wait until she comes again before you can take them off."

Dorothy didn't have any major hang-ups about making it with another woman. She'd practiced kissing with a very close friend several times, and once they'd even touched each other in that special place while they practiced. This was very different. She didn't even know this woman, and the way the disembodied pubic areas were rubbing on her face was totally gross.

"Help!" came Dorothy's muffled cry. "Somebody get me out of here."

She could feel the rough hands of the small men, on her legs, but soon realized that they weren't trying to free her. They had taken off her panties, and the packages she'd so admired were now fighting for entrance into her pussy and ass.

"Holy shit!" Dorothy yelled.

They filled her fore and aft, stretching her sphincter with consummate skill and delving into her pussy to depths she'd never thought possible. A tongue made sure her clit didn't get lonely, and unseen lips captured each of her nipples. Each of her hands were guided around a dick, and her mind disconnected as crazy-making time started.

"You've made the Munchers very happy," Glenda said. "With the Wicked Lawyer of the West destroyed, all the sexual harassment laws are rescinded. You are now their Queen."

"Ahhhh!!" Dorothy moaned into the ruby-red panties.

The Wicked Lawyer of the West had a violent orgasm, nearly breaking Dorothy's neck, and the small men with large packages quickly wrapped things up when Dorothy's face was finally freed from the ruby-red panties.

"You can take the ruby-red panties off her now," Glenda said.

"Ah, blub blah sheuver, yatheish," Dorothy said.

"Are you all right?" Glenda asked.

"Ya-blah yeesh," Dorothy smiled.

"You have to take them off her before she gets horny again," Glenda warned the grinning Dorothy.

"Yesh, hokay," Dorothy said.

The Wicked Lawyer started struggling as soon as Dorothy started slowly pulling her panties down.

"What a pretty ass you have," Dorothy said as she pulled the panties below the creamy white cheeks. Dorothy kissed each ass cheek of the squirming lawyer. Once she'd worked the panties down to the lawyer's knees, she took a moment to slide her hand under the woman and diddle her finger in the woman's pussy. The reaction was quite satisfactory.

"You're killing us, your majesty," one of the small men said.

Dorothy looked lazily over her shoulder at the one who spoke, and saw that he was at the head of a rather long line of small men with large erections.

"I don't think I can handle another round just yet," Dorothy said.

"Oh, we're not waiting for you, your majesty," he said, looking at the lawyer's squirming ass.

"Oh," Dorothy said, a little disappointed. "I suppose I should just take her panties, then."

The Wicked Lawyer did everything she could to keep Dorothy from taking her panties off. She held her legs together, tried to kick, and even locked her ankles.

The wild gyrations made Dorothy's job much more fun, and she divided her efforts between inching the panties lower and playing with the woman's privates. The woman's clean-shaven pussy, and the tight little pucker of her ass were getting Dorothy very moist.

"I can't imagine what's come over me," Dorothy said to Glenda. "It's as if I have erogenous zones in my fingers."

"How is that?" Glenda asked.

"I think I could come by just doing this," Dorothy answered, running her finger in and out of the Lawyer's ass.

"It's getting me excited too," Glenda said. "Do you mind?"

Dorothy made room for Glenda, and they took turnes sticking their fingers into the Wicked Lawyer's squirming ass and seeing how far they could stick their hands up her pussy.

They finally had to stop when showers of cum started hitting them from the surrounding small men.

"Let's let them have her," Glenda moaned, grasping Dorothy's hand.

"Yeah," Dorothy said, licking her lips.

They went to a nearby bench, but Dorothy slipped on the ruby-red panties when Glenda's back was turned.

"These magic panties are great," Dorothy said, relaxing on the bench.

There was a hint of reproach in Glenda's eyes.

"Hey, I had to see if they worked," Dorothy said as Glenda's mouth sucked on her pussy.

Glenda gave her a cross look.

"Party pooper," Dorothy said, and dropped her skirt over the Honest Lawyer's head. "You're really making me feel good, you know," she added, gently stroking the head under her dress and rolling her hips.

"So what can that Wicked Lawyer of the East do to me?" Dorothy asked.

She normally wouldn't want any distractions when someone was nuzzling her down there, but with the magic panties, she didn't have to worry about her stopping.

"She can get the great politician of Ooz to pass a law against you," came the muffled reply.

"Hm," Dorothy said, pulling the crotch of her panties aside so Glenda's tongue could get to work.

"If he passes a law, you'll be locked in a small room and have to perform in front of a web-cam twenty-four hours a day," Glenda said.

"Lick around the rest of me, not just my clit," Dorothy said. "So how do I stop her?"

Glenda took a moment to bring Dorothy closer before answering. "Get there first, I suppose," she said.

"Hm," Dorothy said, then forgot all her questions. Glenda had a very educated tongue, and Dorothy realized that the Honest Lawyer would soon be free if she didn't concentrate on holding back. "Slow down," Dorothy gasped, biting her lower lip.

"Not a chance," Glenda said, and attacked Dorothy's clit with a vengeance.

"Oh no," Dorothy wailed as waves of pleasure washed over her. "Stop, please."

"Your turn," Glenda said, hiking up her skirt and revealing azure-blue panties.

"Aw, shit," was all Dorothy could get out before Glenda's magic panties drew her into the other woman's crotch.

The Honest Lawyer came very quickly, and the two of them laughed together at the way they had tricked each other.

"I never thought I'd enjoy doing that sort of thing," Dorothy said.

"You mean making love to another woman?" Glenda asked, teasing Dorothy's nipple with her finger.

Dorothy shivered and squirmed, then pushed Glenda's hand away.

"Yes. I'm not a lesbian, you know. At least I never thought I was."

"You're in Ooz now," Glenda said. "Everything is sex here."

With that, Glenda planted a big kiss on Dorothy's lips and their tongues explored each other's mouths for a long time before they broke it.

"I suppose I should get started for that politicians city," Dorothy said.

"Yes, I suppose you should," Glenda said.

It was accidental, but both of them happened to touch the other's panties as they started to get up. The effect was immediate.

"We're going to have to be more careful," Glenda giggled from between Dorothy's legs.

"Tell me about it," Dorothy said from between Glenda's.

"Have you ever thought of shaving down here?" Glenda said.

Dorothy giggled as she licked Glenda's bald beaver.

When last we saw Dorothy, she was using the magical panties to make Glenda, the Honest Lawyer (He-he) of the North, give her oral pleasure. They form a friendship, helped by the fact that Glenda has similar panties, and we rejoin them as each has her mouth magically held in the other ones crotch.

Dorothy giggled as she licked Glenda's bald beaver. Her magic panties were keeping Glenda's mouth glued to her unshaved one, and it tickled whenever Glenda tried to get the hair out of her mouth.

"Why should I shave when that feels so good?" Dorothy said. She dipped her tongue into the Honest Lawyer's sweet tasting cooze, noting the somewhat cooler liquid that was welling up. Glenda could bitch and moan all she wanted, but there was no doubt in Dorothy's mind that the Honest Lawyer was more excited than she wanted to admit.

"This hair is disgusting," Glenda whined. "You're not even all that clean," she added.

Glenda was getting upset for more than just Dorothy's lack of consideration for those trapped between her legs. The young out-worlder had somehow assumed the top position in their sixty-nine, and for the first time in her life, Glenda felt as if she was the one being used. The overeager hip thrusts were making Glenda hang on for dear life, and the degrading nature of it all was pushing her toward orgasm much faster than she wanted. The last thing she wanted was to come first.

"You love it," Dorothy called, giving Glenda's clit a couple of quick flicks. "You're a filthy pig and you love it nasty."

"No!" Glenda cried.

It had turned into a war. Glenda knew that if she came first, Dorothy would be freed from the magic hold of Glenda's panties. Then she could change her position, get comfortable, and be able to move herself out of range whenever she got close to climaxing. Glenda would be trapped under Dorothy for as long as the young woman wanted.

Mustering all of her considerable self-control, Glenda held her own excitement in check and attacked Dorothy's clit with every bit of cunning her lawyer's tongue possessed.

"Oh no," Dorothy moaned. She could feel the momentum shifting as the tongue found new and exciting things to do to her. She had to do something to take back the initiative, but the tingling was moving up her belly and her mind was already starting to disconnect.

"You asked for it," Dorothy said as soon as the idea hit her.

She'd had to pee when she was rushing back to her trailer, and during her time in Ooz, she'd never had a chance. She tried to open the flood, but only a few drops came out.

"What are you doing?" Glenda spluttered.

"I'm going to pee in your face while you eat me," Dorothy said, squeezing out a few more drops.

"No!" Glenda said, with grim determination. She tried to find Dorothy's urethra and plug it with her tongue.

She didn't get it right, and Dorothy's bouncing hips made sure she didn't.

A small trickle of urine dribbled into Glenda's mouth.

"No, Dorothy, please," Glenda cried out.

"Too late," Dorothy said. It was getting easier to pee, and she really had to go. "You don't have to drink it, if you don't want to, but all my nice, warm pee is going in your face right now."

It wasn't the gusher that Dorothy wanted, but the stop and go streams kept Glenda spluttering and gasping and Dorothy turned her full attention to Glenda's clit.

"You like being my toilet, don't you slut? How does it taste, how does it smell?"

The warm trickle continued, some running down Dorothy's legs, but nearly all going into Glenda's mouth and over her face.

Glenda's degradation was complete when, with her eyes screwed tight and Dorothy's hot piss gushing over her, she lost control of her traitorous body and started to come.

"No," she blubbered, almost in tears. She reached orgasm just as Dorothy got the stream going steady, and climaxed with the foul liquid pouring onto her.

"Was it good for you?" Dorothy asked. She was laughing maliciously as she turned around and squatted astride Glenda's face.

"You win," Glenda said, quietly. Her eyes were squeezed tight, and her mouth was open, awaiting the return of Dorothy's pussy.

"Thank you, Glenda," Dorothy said. She closed the gap, and Glenda's soft lips touched the sensitive flesh. "I never realized how useful a lawyer's training could be for something like this," Dorothy cooed as her insides churned with delight.

She thought about Hunk's beautiful package, and the lovely backsides of the small men. She twisted her nipples, and even reached back and toyed with Glenda's. She didn't have any intention of keeping Glenda down there any longer than it took for her to come, but it was one of those long, slow orgasms that she wanted to go on forever.

"Oh yes," she gasped. She wanted to kiss Glenda's face, tell her how much she loved what she was doing, but all she could do was quiver with delight as the Honest Lawyer's baby-blue eyes looked up at her from between her legs. "Oh Glenda, oh yes. Suck it. Suck it into your mouth. That's it. Oh yes!"

"I'm sorry, Glenda. That felt so good, I couldn't stop," Dorothy said, as she helped Glenda wipe her face.

"It's all right," Glenda said. "You were enjoying it so much, it was starting to get me excited again."

Dorothy quickly pulled her hands back, keeping them away from Glenda's magic panties.

They both laughed and laughed over this, until they were weak.

"I've got to get to Worker's Paradise City," Dorothy said. "Any chance you could give me a lift in your chopper?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Dorothy. I'm afraid I can't."

"Why not?" Dorothy asked.

"I'm not sure. You'll have to ask Katnipper." Glenda said.

They both looked out the computer screen, waiting for the writer to explain why Dorothy would have to go traipsing through dangerous forests and poisonous poppy fields when Glenda had a perfectly good mode of transportation right there.

Katnipper flipped them the bone and told them to get back to work. (Don't you hate it when characters try to do the logical thing? It's enough to screw up the best of stories.)

Both of them stuck their tongues out, at which point Kat started a new story:

The Magic Computer by Katnipper

Kat had been writing late into the night, knowing she'd have plenty of time for her secret pastime with her husband out of town. Bill was a nice enough guy, but his idea of wild sex was watching a porn movie before his standard, wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Kat's world was filled with far more than the simple in and out that he thought of as sex.

Kat had been plugging along at a good clip, when her characters started getting out of hand. The stupid creatures wanted to skip the very heart of the story by taking a helicopter to Workers Paradise City.

Being a God in this little world, Kat didn't bother to explain the whys and wherefores; she just told them to get back to work.

When they defiantly stuck their tongues out, the lines of cold words suddenly turned into two very attractive women.

Kat blinked her eyes, shook her head a couple times, and looked again. They were still there, and their little pink tongues were still wiggling.

Kat's heart started thumping, and she looked guiltily around the empty room. Her rum and coke was only the watery amber of melted ice in the glass beside her computer, so this seemed like a good time to refresh it.

"I should have had some dinner before I got started," she said as she staggered to the kitchen.

Back with a fresh drink, she smiled at the screen. There were words on it again, and she could get back to work.

One person, identified only as Anonymous, had sent feedback saying, "Please, continue with the foolishness." Soon after, five more sent encouragement, some even leaving their e-mail addresses so she could send back thanks. These people were like, real fans or something. Six of the five hundred or so who had read it, actually liked it enough to send feedback. She'd be damned if she'd let a couple of uppity characters slow her down. She was going to finish chapter two, for them!

Quickly scanning the last words she had written, she had to blink when the words once again turned into two attractive women with their tongues sticking out.

She downed her drink and went back for yet another.

She snuck up on her computer when she came back with a fresh drink, and the two women had their faces up against the inside of the screen, trying to peek around at her.

"Washa hell you think you're doing," Kat said, trying to push their faces back away from the computers screen.

The instant her hand reached the point where the screen should have been, it passed through, and the two women grabbed it. With a rush of strange smells and warm, humid air, the two of them came out of the computer, and were standing beside Kat.

"What a shit-hole," Dorothy said.

"I was going to straighten thing up tomorrow," Kat said. "Wait a minute, you live in an overcrowded trailer," she added.

"Yeah, but at least we put things away. This is a mess. Come to think of it, you're a mess too," she added, looking directly at Kat.

Kat pulled her ratty cloth robe closed, and tried to get her hair in some semblance of order. She wouldn't have wanted to be caught dead looking like this, and to have the essence of what she considered to be perfect female beauty looking at her like this was humiliating.

"I wasn't expecting company," Kat said, weakly. "Besides, the only reason the two of you look so good is because I made you that way."

"Oh course, dear," said Glenda. "That must be why I look exactly like Glenda from the movie."

"Hold it," said Dorothy, "why do I look like Liza Minelli in Cabaret?"

Kat averted her gaze. She always dreamed that she could be like Liza's character in Cabaret, and used that image for all her strong female characters.

"I found the bedroom," came Glenda's voice from the other room.

"Cool," said Dorothy, holding out her hand to Kat.

"I don't actually do stuff like that," Kat said. "I just write lesbian stuff; I wouldn't dream of doing it. I'm happily married!"

"Bullshit," Dorothy said, taking Kat's hand and drawing her to her feet.

"I've never…, I can't…"

"I never, I can't," Dorothy mimicked. "You just write lesbian scenes for the men who read it, huh?"

"Yes, that's the only reason," Kat said as Dorothy pushed her onto the bed.

Flushed with the booze, and a strange excitement about what was about to happen, Kat centered herself on the bed.

They were both beautiful. Glenda, with her curly blonde locks, ample breasts, and angelic face, had a sensual aura about her that was making Kat want to loose herself in the woman's embrace. Dorothy, with her Liza Minelli body and bearing, had the sexual aggressiveness that Kat would be glad to surrender to.

"They're not real," Kat whispered in a drunken slur.

They were undressing, and giving Kat snide smiles as each item of clothing was dropped on the floor.

"Not a lesbian, huh?" Dorothy said, squeezing her breasts, and flicking her tongue at Kat.

Kat's face burned bright red as her whole body responded to this lewd display. They were both so beautiful, and they wanted her. They were her own creations, with a little help from a couple of movies, and their very existence was for her pleasure. How could she say no, when it was so obviously her secret desire to be seduced into lesbian sex? Quickly shedding every scrap of clothing, she waited spread-eagle on the bed.

"Just this once," Kat sighed, closing her eyes.

"Here, pull my panties down," said Glenda.

"Mine too," said Dorothy.

Kat hooked a finger in each of their waistbands, and instantly found her face pressed against someone's crotch.

"Not too bright, is she?" Glenda said.

"Guess not," Dorothy said.

"Kat sounds like a sexy name," Glenda said, "but you seem to forget that we can see you."

"I'm not that bad looking," Kat's muffled voice came from between them.

"Who told you that, your mother?" Dorothy asked.

"Or your husband, when he was horny," Glenda added.

They both laughed.

"This isn't what I wanted. You were supposed to make love to me," Kat complained as Glenda ground herself on Kat's face. "I never wanted to do this part of it. Let me up!"

"Sorry, sweetheart. You made the rules, now you have to live with them. Besides, Glenda and I enjoy making love to each other."

"That's right," Glenda said. "What could be sexier than kissing and fondling with Dorothy while you work on us down there. This is going to be a better lovemaking scene than any of that crap back in Ooz."

With that, the two fictional characters started kissing and caressing each other, while Kat helplessly serviced them. Since they weren't governed by the rules of reality, their lovemaking lasted the entire night.

"Whose turn is it?" Dorothy asked.

"Mine, I think," Glenda replied.

She stretched her panties over Kat's head, and patted it into the perfect position. With her hands resting gently on the back of the woman's head, she let Dorothy suck on her nipples. Not only did her nipples get hard and soft exactly like a male penis, the sensation of lips toying with the inch-long nipples were just as exciting as a man getting a blowjob.

She knew she was going to come soon, since the pint or so of female lubricant was already flowing out of her cunt. She wondered how real women were able to enjoy themselves with the surprisingly small amount that they produced.

"I'm commmming!" Glenda wailed, and started a thirty minute long orgasm.

Kat was weakly clawing at Dorothy's thighs, milky-white liquid dribbling out of her nose and mouth as she gasped for breath.

"No more, please, no," she gasped as Dorothy's ruby-red panties closed over her head. Dorothy rolled onto her back, adjusted Kat's head, and let Glenda play with her tits while she waited for her thirty-minute orgasm. By then, Glenda would be ready again.

It was an all night tag-team, interrupted only once when Kat heaved her guts out.

The girls quickly cleaned the face of the limp and unresisting woman, then tucked her head back into their panties and continued with their lovemaking.

It was an endless orgy of one steaming, hot, sopping wet pussy after the other. Kat was no more than a rag doll that they passed between them as they made love to each other. People sometimes go mad in situations like that, sometime they give up so totally that they become zombies.

Kat did neither. Even as Glenda pushed Kat's head down the back of her panties, and giggled as Kat's tongue entered the tight pucker of her ass, the helpless woman clung to her ace in the hole.

She'd be getting back to The Wizard of Ooz story, and the outline was very fuzzy.

THE END

Back to the Wizard of Ozz and the incredibly awful things that are going to happen to Dorothy and that bitch Lawyer.

The small men stopped screwing the Evil Lawyer of the West when they heard Glenda's helicopter crash. They rushed to the flaming wreckage and pulling her out in the nick of time.

"It's amazing that she survived," one said.

"Her magic panties didn't," said another.

They all watched as the last charred remnant of the powerful panties slid from her attractive ass.

"Look what happened to her hair," they gasped.

Gone were the rich, full-bodied, golden curls. In its place was a head full of split ends, with unruly strands sticking out at odd angles, and a couple of rollers permanently embedded in it. A large zit was forming in the middle of her forehead, and another one was forming on the tip of her nose.

"Let me die," cried Glenda.

"No," said the small men, putting a bag over her head. "You are still useful to society."

They led her back to their village, where all the small men whose wives or girlfriends wouldn't consent to anal sex finally got to enjoy this unique pleasure.

"You shouldn't have made me do all those things to that wonderful woman in the real world," Dorothy said to Glenda as a particularly well-endowed small man forced his cock into her ass.

"Fuck you," grunted Glenda as the huge cock impaled her.

"I think you have the wrong attitude," Dorothy said. "I can't wait to get another chance to go to the real world and give that woman the sexual pleasure she so richly deserves."

"I hate you," Glenda wailed.

Something told Dorothy to turn Glenda onto her back and take the bag off her head. Squatting over her head, Dorothy took a very long pee. Glenda's orgasm started when the first drops hit her face, and continued until the last drops fell. It was the most intense orgasm of her life, and she knew that from now on, someone pissing in her face would be her only sexual satisfaction.

"Please, someone else piss on me," Glenda begged.

"Please," Dorothy intoned solemnly, "let me somehow bring pleasure to Kat, creator of all things good, and the real love of my life."

A sudden attack of gas told Dorothy it was time to get started on her adventure, and she had a feeling that Ooz wouldn't be as bright and cheery as she'd thought earlier. She was very nervous about the perilous road to Workers Paradise City, and her apprehension was justified.

Unbeknownst to her, her little dog, Toto, had become a lycanthrope in Ooz's magical environs, and his beady little eyes followed her with a new interest as they set off on their journey. His studded leather collar snapped and fell off, as he got bigger, and the little leather sheath that Ms. Gulch had fashioned for his little doggie pecker ripped as that organ assumed more impressive proportions.

"We're off to see the Wizard," Dorothy sang, and started skipping down the road.

"The wonderful Wizard of cooze," Toto finished, tongue lolling out of his mouth.

"Toto, you can talk," Dorothy said with delight.

"And that's not all," Toto said, knocking her flat with his front paws. "Down boy," Dorothy said, trying to crawl away.

Toto ran around her, going back and forth, nipping at her, and driving her off the road. He kept herding her in this way until she was near a white board fence. Then, with several skillful moves, he got her head stuck between the second and third board.

"Toto loves, Dorothy," Toto said, wrapping his front legs around her waist.

"Aw, come on," Dorothy said. "Isn't there some rule against b********y?"

"I don't think so," Toto said. "We'll check later."

"Wait a minute," Dorothy said. "I got you when you were a puppy. That was only two years ago. It would be c***d porn if you fuck me."

"Dog years, remember?"

"That still only makes you f******n," Dorothy said.

"Yeah, but dogs mature faster than humans."

"Doesn't matter. The laws the law."

"Shit," said Toto, licking himself.

"I don't think you can do that, either," Dorothy said.

"Don't push it," Toto growled.

Once Dorothy got her head out from between the boards, she did a number of strange things. First, she took her ruby-red panties off, then, holding them out in front of her, she made kissy faces and wiggled her tongue. She even opened her blouse, rubbed her tits, and hiked up her dress. The only reaction she got was from Toto, who'd grown to the size of a Great Dane, and whose cock now rivaled Hunk's.

"Any time you want me, I'm yours," Dorothy said with a sexy smile. She batted her eyes, writhed her body and hugged herself, but the only thing that happened was that the air got colder.

"Come on, Toto," Dorothy said. "Let's have some wonderful adventures on our way to Workers Paradise City."

Singing, "Life is a Cabaret," as she skipped down the road, Dorothy stopped every few yards to stick her butt out or lift her leg high over her head. The dance was very alluring, and two observers, beside Toto, watched with lust filled interest.

The Wicked Lawyer of the East, watching through her crystal ball, found the ruby-red panties twirling on Dorothy's finger just as exciting as the creamy-smooth flesh they'd so recently covered.

Another set of eyes watched Dorothy's antics, but her husband was back from his trip. There'd be no way she could do anything with that little slut with her husband around, and she still hadn't figured out how she'd gotten them out of the computer the first time.

"I'll get you, my pretty," two voices said in unison.

The new, improved Toto loped through the two separate views, and again in unison, they said, "And your little dog, too."

Dorothy soon tired of her burlesque act, and started walking normally. She even put the ruby-red panties back on. Toto, once the discovery of his age reached Ooz Magic Central, reverted to a normal dog.

Things looked a lot like home for Dorothy as she trudged along the endless road, surrounded by miles of cornfields.

"This is really starting to suck," Dorothy said, as her sweat soaked hair and clothing all hung limply.

"Arf," said Toto.

A mile later, Dorothy started walking with her hand extended, and her middle finger sticking up. It suddenly got much hotter, the faint breeze stopped, and the humidity went up to 113%.

"All right," Dorothy said. Her hand dropped to her side, and she stood there panting through her mouth.

The heat and humidity remained high.

After only a few more yards, Dorothy started clawing desperately at her clothes. A few moments later, she was walking in just her bra and panties.

A faint breeze picked up, and the temperature went down a degree or two.

"Thank you," Dorothy said, looking skyward. "You won't regret it, I promise."

"Arf," said Toto.

"Look, Toto, a forest," Dorothy said. "Shade!" she added, picking up her pace.

"Arf, arf, arf," said Toto, running ahead.

Dorothy stopped ten yards from the forest and pondered the fact that the road branched out in three directions.

"Now which way do we go?"

"That way is very nice," said a voice.

"Who said that?" Dorothy asked, jumping half out of her skin.

Toto ran into the cornfield and started barking at an absurd looking scarecrow with a stalk of corn sticking out of its pants.

"Come here, Toto. That's just a scarecrow."

"That way is nice too," the scarecrow said.

"That's funny," Dorothy said. "Wasn't that stalk of corn pointing the other way a moment ago?"

"Of course, some people go both ways," the scarecrow said, and his butt suddenly impaled itself on the stalk of corn.

"That's the trouble," he went on. "I can't make up my mind."

Dorothy drew closer, and waited patently until the scarecrow finished screwing its own ass.

"How can you be so good at that if you don't know if you're gay or not?" Dorothy said.

"Lots of people don't care who they screw," the scarecrow answered.

"Oh, are you a politician?" asked Dorothy.

"I don't think so."

"A lawyer?"

"No," the scarecrow said, suddenly offended.

"Sorry, that was uncalled for," Dorothy apologized. "Do you want me to take you off that pole?"

The scarecrow was still a little put out about the lawyer crack, but decided that getting off the pole was worth swallowing his pride. "Yes, that would be nice," he said.

"Weren't you just screwing this ass?" Dorothy asked, as she looked at the way he was impaled.

"I was just using the cheeks," he said, detaching them and demonstrating.

"All right, knock it off," Dorothy said, and started lifting him off the pole.

"Ah," said the scarecrow, and corn oil started squirting out its cornstalk.

"I think I have a good idea which way you swing," said Dorothy as she lifted his light body off the pole.

There was a loud sucking pop when the end of the pole came out, and Dorothy wound up entangled with the scarecrow on the ground when it was over.

"What way would that be?" asked the scarecrow as his cornstalk poked rhythmically at the crotch of Dorothy's panties.

"Gay, of course," Dorothy said, trying to get out from under him.

"Oh, thank you. I've been so confused," he said.

"Sure, if you get your biggest kick out of having your dick up a man's ass, you've got to be gay," Dorothy said.

"But I haven't got a dame," said the scarecrow.

"Is that music I hear?" Dorothy asked.

Scarecrow was straightening his throat, so Dorothy knew that a song was coming.

"Oh, I'm a failure, because I haven't got a dame. Now if I had a dame…" scarecrow started, as an unseen band tuned up. (sing to the tune of "If I only had a brain" from The Wizard of Oz.)

"I'd be bonin' every minute, my groin-cup always in it, screaming out her name. I'd be suckin' on her tit, while I'm rubbin' down her clit, if I only had a dame. I would whip her with a lasso, make her little ass hole, making sure she came. I'd be playin' with her boobs, while I'm shaving off her pubes, if I only had a dame.

Now I, can tell you why, my dick would be so red. 'Cause for hours and hours she'd be givin' me head, and then I'd come, and come again.

I would lick her little twat, hit the G-spot, make her go insane. I'd be always penetrating, even when she's menstruating, if I only had a dame.

(If anyone knows who wrote this parody, please let me know so I can give the author credit)

Dorothy tried to sing with him, but the scarecrows corn dick kept sliding past the edge of her panties as he bopped along with the beat. It was very distracting, and his dick was firmly embedded in her pussy by the time he had belted out the last words of his song.

"Ah," Dorothy gasped. The cornstalk was very large, and had amazing ridges. "Careful," Dorothy said, holding her breath. It felt wonderful, but it was so close to being painful that it made her nervous.

"Careful of what?" the scarecrow asked. He was looking around, looking for danger, and oblivious to the fact that his ass was going up and down at an ever increasing speed.

"Oh my God," said Dorothy. The tingles from row after row of kernels vibrating in and out of her pussy were spreading further with every stroke. She had to put a stop to this before her entire body was twitching. Each of his strokes was going fractionally deeper, and there was entirely too much corn yet to go.

"What, where?" the scarecrow asked.

Dorothy twisted around, regained her feet, but the feather light scarecrow was still in her.

"Stop," Dorothy said, trying to push him away. She had no trouble pushing him, but the important part kept doing her without pause. "Stop!" she screeched, locking her hands around the huge stalk of corn itself.

Between the liberal coating of corn oil, and copious quantities of her own lubricating fluids, she wasn't able to slow its progress in the least.

"Ow, oh," Dorothy said as it reached new depths. "That's it. I can't take any more," she said as her legs got weak.

With desperation, Dorothy threw the entire scarecrow aside, only to discover that the corn kept fucking her all by itself.

"Help," she said in a small voice.

Saliva dripped from her open mouth as she sank to her hands and knees. She tried to stay in that position as the frightful waves of pleasure washed over her, but her arms gave out and her head sank into the cool grass. Face down, ass up, she moaned uncontrollably as the scarecrow rejoined his appendage, and fucked her from behind.

"I can't take it," she moaned over and over, but her pussy burned for more.

Her orgasmic howls startled birds into flight for miles around, and just when she thought she'd get through this thing with her mind in tact, she felt something pop inside her.

"What was that?" she asked.

It happened again.

"Oh no," she wailed, tears bursting from her eyes. "Anything but that!"

She was lost, her last hope gone. She was loosing her last remnant of self-control, and becoming a mindless a****l.

The corn had started to pop.

On the far side of Ooz, the Evil Lawyer of the East cackled with malicious glee.

"Yes, my pretty, enjoy, enjoy. What good is a movie without popcorn? Muhahahahaha!"

Her evil laugh stopped in mid-ha-ha when she noticed where Dorothy's ruby-red panties were. They had somehow slipped down around her knees, and each thrust of the scarecrow's pelvis was sliding them further down her legs. At this rate, the powerful panties would be completely off that little bitch, and hers for the taking while Dorothy lay senseless after her supernatural screwing.

"Get my chopper ready," Evil East screeched, and ran to the helo pad.

Finally done, scarecrow meandered around aimlessly. He knew Dorothy would flop around for a while. He'd never done a human before, but the crows that got too close to his stalk always flopped around like that for a long time after he'd nailed them.

He took no interest in her heart-shaped ass sticking up in the air, the sheen on her flawless skin, or the way her pussy lips were slightly parted and beckoning to a pair of unseen eyes a universe away. This essence of female lust was lost on the scarecrow, but was creating turmoil in the unseen one. So intense was this turmoil, that a different story erupted.

The Magic Computer, part 2 by Katnipper

Kat stared at her computer screen. Once again the flesh of the characters she'd been writing about had replaced the words. She couldn't tear her eyes from the display of Dorothy's womanhood, and downed the entire water glass full of Long Island Iced Tea with her eyes glued to Dorothy's pussy.

"I'm not a lesbian," she kept repeating in her drunken slur.

"You say something, hon?" Bill called from the other room.

"Just talking to myself," Kat called.

He mumbled something back, but Kat's mind was on Dorothy. She could smell the girl's musk, along with the strangely sensual aroma of popcorn. Her breath came quicker as she reached tentatively into the computer screen. Just like before, her hand went into the land of Ooz.

"Holy shit," Kat said as Dorothy materialized on the floor next to Kat's computer desk.

"I'm hitting the rack," Bill called. "You coming?"

"Just a sec," Kat said, quickly closing the office door behind her. "Let me fix you a night-cap."

She ran to her medicine box, found the small bottle she'd been saving, and fixed Bill a drink that would have him out 'till morning.

"Hi, Kat," Dorothy sighed, an idiot grin plastered on her face. "I loved your scarecrow."

"Keep it down," Kat said, half carrying the beautiful Dorothy to her bedroom.

"Who's that?" Dorothy said, pointing to Kat's u*********s husband.

"Bill. Don't worry about him."

"He's kind of cute," Dorothy said, pulling down the front of his shorts. "Nice pecker," she added, "but it ain't no corncob."

"Leave him alone," Kat said, slapping her hand away. "You're going to make up for what you did to me last time."

"Sure, sweetie. Anything you want."

With that, Dorothy kissed Kat full on the lips.

Kat melted. It was as if everything sweet and gentle that she'd been missing in her life was coming through Dorothy's lips and into her soul.

"I love you, Dorothy," Kat said, a tear forming in her eye.

"Of course you do, sweetheart. Have you seen my ruby-red panties?"

Kat looked around, but didn't remember seeing them. "Don't worry, I'll write you another pair. Better ones, twice a powerful."

"You're so good to me," Dorothy said, and kissed her again.

They started making love, and even in her drunken state, Kat was on the verge of orgasm at Dorothy's every touch.

"What are you doing?" Kat demanded as soon as she noticed.

"Nothing important," Dorothy said. "Just playing with his dick while we make love."

"You can't touch him, he's my husband," Kat said.

Kat couldn't understand why she was so upset that Dorothy was playing with her husband's dick. He was out for the count, so it wasn't as if he'd know anything. Was she just upset because Dorothy wasn't giving her her full attention? Or was it an infringement on her property rights? This was all so confusing. And how had she given him such a hard erection so quickly?

"Don't be silly," Dorothy said. "We have a perfectly good male going to waste here. Think of him as a living dildo, here for our pleasure."

"That is kind of sexy," Kat said, looking at her husband in this new light.

"Sure it is. Tell you what, climb up on his face and rub yourself on him while we kiss. I have a little trick that will make it delightful for you."

Dorothy got off Kat, and got on top of Bill. Smiling into his slack face, she forced his mouth open and soon had both hands in it as she did something. The gagging and twitching of her u*********s husband was starting to alarm Kat when Dorothy finally sat up with a look of satisfaction. Bill was now lying there with his tongue sticking out.

"It'll stay like that for quite a while," Dorothy said. "Hop on and we'll get started."

Kat got astride him and opened her pussy lips as she lowered herself on his tongue. Dorothy was right, there was something sinfully sexy about this. She looked up in time to see his cock disappearing into Dorothy's cunt. Even with the pleasure between her own legs, something about that still bothered her.

"He's just a dildo," Dorothy said, seeing her expression. "Just think about all the pleasure he's giving us without getting anything for himself."

That made it better for Kat, and she started moving her pussy up and down his tongue. She didn't even mind the look of euphoria on Dorothy's face as she rode her husband's cock.

"Suck my tits," Dorothy said, squeezing her breasts.

Head thrown back, eyes closed, Dorothy whipped her hips back and forth while Bill's dick thrashed wildly in her cooze. A sticky sweet odor was emanating from her body, and the smell was affecting Kat every bit as much as her husbands tongue. Kat's eyes fell on Dorothy's protruding nipples, and she wanted nothing more in the world than to comply with the order.

"Yes," Dorothy cooed as Kat's lips closed on her. "Suck hard."

The auroras had puffed out as Kat drew near, as if in anticipation of the coming lips, and the nipples had elongated just like little peckers. Dorothy's shiver of pleasure was instantly echoed in Kat's body, and the woman suckled at Dorothy's breast with tears of joy streaming down her face.

Milk was coming out. Kat couldn't understand why, but it was sweet, delicious, and she sucked it out greedily.

"Yes," Dorothy said, kissing the top of her head. "Now the other one."

Kat felt a twinge of dismay when Dorothy pulled the nipple from her mouth, and a wave of carnal pleasure when her searching mouth found the other one. She could almost feel the juices of love start flowing from her pussy when the life-giving milk from Dorothy's breast started flowing.

"Drink, my sweet," Dorothy said, moving Kat back to the other nipple and pressing her face deeper into her breast. "You love me, remember. You'll do anything to make my life better."

"Yes," Kat said. She was in pure heaven, and would do anything for Dorothy.

Kat couldn't see the smile that crossed Dorothy's face or a cloud might have passed over her joy. The fingers that started tugging at her own nipples drove the last of rational thought from her mind, and she started a long, slow orgasm that would leave her a vegetable for hours to come.

"That's my girl," Dorothy said, helping Kat stretch out on the far edge of the bed. "Why don't you just rest while I finish up on your Billy boy?"

Kat just smiled as the aftershocks washed up and down her body.

Dorothy's face was set with grim determination as she found Kat's discarded bra and used the strap to tie a tight knot around the base of Bills cock. She stroked him back to full erection, got him back inside her, and rolled so he was on top of her. Cupping his chin in both hands, she straightened her arms, locked her elbows, and started thrashing her hips while his arms dangled limply on either side of her.

"You're so sexy," Kat whispered as her rag doll husband flopped helplessly in Dorothy's grasp.

"Yeah, thanks," Dorothy grunted, eyes glued to the man she was using.

"You're so magical. Every move you make is poetry," Kat sighed.

"Whatever," Dorothy said, and jerked Bill's head further so his cock would go deeper.

"I love you more than anything in the world," Kat said, and started kissing Dorothy's shoulder.

She kept kissing Dorothy's shoulder and arm until her husband's body came crashing down. Dorothy was starting to come, and now had both hands digging into his butt, holding him close as she bounced him between her legs.

"Oh yeah, oh yeah," she growled as he flopped around on top of her.

Neither of them saw his eyes flutter open, nor the telltale flex of his hands as he tried to regain control of his body. Too much of the d**g was still coursing in his veins, so he could only watch with dreamlike detachment as his wife professed her love to the woman who was r****g him.

"You're amazing," Kat said dreamily, fifteen minutes into Dorothy's orgasm.

Kat drifted off to sleep and missed Dorothy's contemptuous look.

"Can you hear me, little boy?" Dorothy whispered into Bill's ear. She turned Bill's head to her and smiled into his dazed eyes. "How would you like to have a woman like me at your beck and call for the rest of you life?"

Bill's mouth dropped open, but he couldn't answer.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? I could make all your nasty little dreams come true. Want a blowjob while you're watching football? No problem. Wake up with a woody? There's my ass on your dick before you're fully awake. Wouldn't that be perfect? Hot sex whenever you want without all that foreplay crap?"

Bill's eye stared blankly back at her, but the words were reaching his mind.

"I'm your dream girl, Billy-boy, the answer to all your prayers. Now listen carefully, here's what I want you to do."

THE END OF MAGIC COMPUTER, PART 2 Back to Wizard of Ooz, chapter 3

"What happed to my ruby-red panties?" Dorothy asked.

"Some lady in a helicopter landed and took them," the scarecrow said.

"Damn," Dorothy said. "Oh well, I'm sure I'll find and even better pair."

Dorothy's mood had improved immensely. The temperature had dropped to a delightful eighty-five degrees, humidity ten percent, and a balmy breeze was blowing.

"Okay, scarecrow, let's see what we can do about your problem. I know that I'll have to take you to the Wizard of Ooz so he can fix it, but other than being a horny bastard, I'm not sure I know what we're supposed to fix."

"I think it has something to do with brains," the scarecrow said.

"Good enough," Dorothy said. "Let's go."

"We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Ooz," they sang as they skipped down the road.

Birds chirped in tune as Dorothy and the scarecrow skipped down the path, singing and dancing the Wizard of Ooz song. Little Toto barked in counterpoint, and flowers opened whenever they drew near, spilling their sweet scent into the air.

"Much more of this and I'm going to puke," Dorothy said, for some strange reason.

"If we keep skipping like this, all my straw will be back on the trail," said the scarecrow.

The urge to sing and skip finally left them, and Dorothy stood panting against a tree while scarecrow tried to retrieve some of his straw.

"I don't suppose there's a Waffle House in this forest," Dorothy said.

"No, but that looks like an apple tree," said the scarecrow.

"Better than nothing," Dorothy said, and went to the nearest apple tree.

"What do you think you're doing?" came an irascible voice.

Dorothy's hand had been slapped away by a branch.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I keep forgetting I'm not in Kansas. May I have one of your apples?"

"Hell no," said the tree. "Do you have any idea how long it took me to grow these things? That's the trouble with you management types, you let us do all the work and then take the fruits of our labor."

"So what are you going to do with these apples if no one can pick them?" asked Dorothy.

"Keep them until they rot!"

"Rot, rot, rot," chanted the other trees.

"No one touches our apples until our demands are met," said the first tree.

"Rot, rot, rot," chanted the other trees.

"What demands?" asked Dorothy.

Silence filled the orchard while the trees thought about it.

"Better pay," whispered the Wicked Lawyer of the East from her hiding place behind the biggest tree.

"Better pay," boomed the big tree.

"Shorter hours," said Wicked East.

"Shorter hours," boomed the big tree. "What are hours?" he whispered to the witch.

The Wicked Lawyer of the East had unionized all the apple orchards just in time for Dorothy's arrival.

"Don't worry about it, Dorothy," said the scarecrow. "There's a pear orchard just up the road. We'll have pears."

"Scab," screamed the first tree.

"Stinking scabs," boomed the big one.

"Scabs, scabs, scabs," chanted all the other trees, and they started throwing apples at the small party.

Dorothy and scarecrow picked up as many as they could carry and ran away. Dorothy mooned them when she thought she was out of range, but the big tree got her right in the butt with the biggest apple she had ever seen.

"Ouch!" she cried.

All the trees started laughing and pointing at her.

"Good shot," said one.

"Like hell," said another. "How could anyone miss a fat ass like that?"

"That does it," Dorothy said. "Do you have a lighter, scarecrow? I'm going to burn those muther-fuckers to the ground."

"No," said the scarecrow, "I'm afraid of fire." He shivered uncontrollably. "Besides, you're a sweet, innocent girl from Kansas."

"Oh yeah, I forgot," Dorothy said. She fixed a steely look on the trees and muttered something under her breath, then resumed her girlish smile.

"We got plenty of apples," the scarecrow said cheerfully.

"Yes, we did, didn't we? Where'd that big one go?"

"I think I saw it bounce over there."

"Wow, that's a big one," Dorothy said.

"Yes. I don't think I've ever seen an apple that big before," said the scarecrow.

"Not the apple, that!"

Scarecrow joined her, and his head tilted left, then right, then left again as he looked. "What is it?" he asked.

"It's a White Lady Dragon multi function vibrator," Dorothy said with awe. "See, it has the prongs, rotating beads, and this part squirms around…" she shivered with delight.

"What's this?" said the scarecrow.

"Oh my gosh. That's a S