The Knight and the Acolyte Book 8 Chapter 9 The Knight s Passion
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Dex had fallen asleep against me before we'd recovered from our first time together. The smile on my face wouldn't wash away even as I felt, again, the shame and guilt for what I'd done. I'd taken my own son's virginity, letting him put his fifteen-year old penis inside my body, in the very hole from which he'd come into the world. Even as I lay awake late into the night, holding him, my vagina felt wonderfully sore from my son's cock. My pussy had drooled down my thigh and soaked a large wet spot onto the bed.
I can't say why I wasn't more troubled than I was. Sure, I felt the pangs of judgement, of the understanding that I'd known my son, and he'd known me, in a very intimate and forbidden way. I even knew that what we'd done was i*****l, perhaps immoral to the core. I found that, at least in the night, I didn't care. I loved fucking Dex, and I looked forward to doing it again soon.
I stroked his stomach as I rested in his arms, my head on his chest. He breathed easily, only lightly snoring on his back. I inhaled against his skin, the warm scents of my son's flesh intoxicating and lovely.
He is beautiful, Penelope. I see your face in his. I think that's why I find him so attractive. He looks so much like you.
I didn't respond for a while, enjoying the way Dexter's chest rose and fell as he breathed.
You were wonderful together. I've never seen anything more erotic in my life.
"Life..." I said in a very low whisper. "Are you ... are you alive, Jackie?"
I feel alive.
"I just ... can't see you. And ... you go away sometimes."
I know. I can't explain it. I just am.
"Have you always been this way, since ... the accident?"
I don't know.
"You seemed to know about Gerald," I added, referring to my ex-husband, "did you see us together?"
I'm not sure. I have memories of you and him, but ... they don't feel like the ones I've had of our last few days together. They're less ... real.
"Did you get them from my mind?"
Perhaps. I can hear your thoughts, sometimes. Not all of them. I've felt your mind for many months now. It took a lot of time to come to you ... a lot of effort.
I slowly slid from under my son's arm and left him to sleep, rising and putting on my robe before sliding from Dexter's room. "Is Kira okay?"
Yes. I was with her earlier. I made her see what she will enjoy soon, when she is ready. She loves you for this. She wants you to be there when it happens.
"When what happens?" I said quietly, going downstairs to the kitchen to make a cup of tea.
When they are together the first time. She wants to share that with you.
"No, no, that should be their time for each other. It's bad enough that I took my son's virginity, I shouldn't be there for hers, as well."
She wants that, Penelope.
"And what about Dexter," I asked, settling a pouch of camomile into steaming water, "what does he want?"
I don't know. I can only watch him. I cannot ask.
"Well ... maybe he doesn't want me there."
Maybe.
"And I suppose you think I should ask him?"
You did just fuck your own son, Penelope. There was humor in Jackie's voice, pretty sure you can talk to him, too.
I sipped the tea, mulling over my sister's thoughts. Almost on cue, my son slowly slipped down the stairs wearing a pair of boxers and a sleepy grin. His cropped auburn hair showed that he'd just come from bed, messy and uneven despite its short length. Anxiety threatened to boil into my thoughts, my stomach turning over, as I realized what I'd done with my son. I'd been his first woman. I'd let my own son fuck my pussy.
"Morning..." I said, my throat tight.
"Hey..." he said, glancing at my face a few seconds before looking away. Dex stood beside the table, opposite me, an awkward stance showing his uncertainty.
"Sit, Dex ... let's talk..." I said, unsure exactly what to say.
He pulled out a chair and settled onto it. I reached across the table and motioned him to give me his hand. Dex did so, and I could feel his nerves in the way his fingers jumped in mine. For a moment, I just held him, slowly running my fingers along his, touching the small beauty marks near his wrist, lightly rubbing the flesh near his thumb. "So..." I began, "last night was wonderful, Dex."
"Yeah ... yeah," he said quietly, "I can't believe it."
"I know ... your own mom, right?"
My son nodded, looking away, "right..."
"Never thought I'd do that with you, did you? Nothing beyond your fantasies?"
He shook his head. "Never ... like ... never..."
"Well ... I can't say I ever ... not in a million years ... thought we'd know each other that way, Dexter. Never. But..." I leaned forward, drawing his bright blue eyes to mine, "I loved being with you ... I got to be your first woman, Dex ... I hope you enjoyed me..."
"Oh," he said, eyes glancing down to where my robe had opened slightly and the part between my breasts showed just the hint of what was still covered, "definitely ... I ... it was great, Mom ... you were great ... Not that I have much to compare it too, but, you were amazing..."
"Well," I said again, pausing to shake my shoulders just a bit, letting my robe fall open a bit more, my right areola just barely remaining concealed, "I want to talk to you about something important. About us ... and about Kira."
Dexter's eyes were wider, the bright blue orbs darting from my chest to where I still held his hand. "Yeah ... okay..."
"I hate to say it this way, but ... this has to be our secret, Dex ... you can't tell anyone what we did ... It must stay between the four of us."
"Okay ... uh ... between ... between the four of us?"
I realized I'd included Jackie in my count. "I'll get to that. For now ... only you and I and Kira can know about this, alright? I don't like it that way, Dex ... I really don't. But that's reality. You can't tell anyone. Not Donnie, not anyone. If someone else found out ... I'd go to jail."
"Yeah ... I know. I guess I know." He looked at his lap as he spoke. "That sucks, Mom. I'd ... I'd love to be able to tell Donnie..."
"He has fantasies of his own mother, right?"
Dex looked at me through narrowed eyes, "how'd you know that?"
"We'll get to that ... For now ... just accept that I do." I knew this conversation was becoming confusing since I'd not mentioned Jackie or the conversations I'd had with her. It was getting off track. "But let's talk about us a moment..."
"Okay..."
"I loved what we did, Dexter. I want to be with you again."
"Yeah ... me too..." my son said, eyes starting to rise back to my chest.
"Good. But it goes further than that. I know you and your sister's games with her panties have gone beyond just innocent fun. I know you like to sniff her odors, and she is eating the cum you leave there when you return them, something she enjoys."
He nodded, looking down again, blushing.
"That's okay, alright? I've made peace with that, and ... and I know it won't just be games much longer. I know you have thought of your sister ... of what she looks like naked ... what it might feel like to be with her ... and she has had the same thoughts about you."
"What? Really?" Dexter said, looking at my eyes, "I mean ... I knew we were having fun and all ... I thought ... I thought maybe it was just a game to her..."
"It was, for a while. But, she's grown up a lot in the last year or so. She's started to think about you in ways that ... well, normally she shouldn't. But ... she has, and we've talked about it some. She'd really like you to be her first man."
"Oh, Jeez..." Dex said, his cheeks rosy, "are you serious?"
"Yes ... but you should know more..."
"Okay..." he replied. I wished I could see beneath the table to where I was certain my son's cock had risen at the idea of fucking his sister.
"She and I have shared a few moments together..."
He looked at me quietly, then asked, "like ... together together?"
"Yes ... we've made love together. Just recently. She and I ... shared something which ... brought out old feelings from me, and let me see that Kira had those same urges." I was growing wet just thinking about it. "So ... we were together."
"That's so hot," Dexter stated evenly, then added, "uhh, I mean ... you know..."
"I do know. And ... yes, it was hot. Your sister is wonderful, Dexter. Yeah, she's shy and introverted, but she has a tremendous curiosity, a need to experience and explore, and ... I admit that I have enjoyed coming to know her ... intimately."
"How ... why ... I mean," my son stammered, "what has started all this, Mom? I mean ... just a couple of weeks ago ... you were furious at me for taking your panties ... now ... last night you had sex with me, and I'm learning you had sex with Kira, too. Why?"
I let out a long breath, uncertain exactly how to talk about Jackie. Unlike when I'd discussed her with Kira, Jackie had not been able to talk to him the way she had with my daughter. Even as I tried to fashion an explanation in my head, I knew it would make no sense and offer only more confusion.
I can show him something, Penelope.
"Jackie?"
My son looked at me oddly. "What?"
"Oh, uh ... well ... I—" I stammered.
I cannot talk to him yet, but I can show him something that might help.
"Okay..." I said, watching Dexter as he stared at me with confusion, "there's ... there's something you should see, Dex..."
Kira was on her back on her bed, nightshirt pushed up to her waist, her hand moving slowly between her legs. I was an observer again, watching as my daughter began to masturbate. Kira sighed as her eyes closed, her fingers dancing through her wet slit, drawing moisture up to circle her hard little clit. I saw her pull back the hood and expose her nub, slipping a finger underneath to tease her womanhood before moving down to gently probe her vagina.
"Oh..." she sighed.
I knew my immaterial body was becoming aroused, and I wished I could touch myself as I looked on. I also understood that Dex was watching his sister, though I could not feel his presence.
Kira hunched her shoulders, drawing her knees up, her feet just inches from her ass. My daughter spread her thighs wide, one hand massaging her breasts through her nightshirt, the other moving rapidly along her slit. She started to hump her hand quickly, breathing harder.
"Oh ... Mom..." she breathed. I could smell my daughter's wet genitals, her arousal matching my own. Kira dipped a finger into her pussy, only sliding a couple of inches inside, teasing her swollen cunt as she started to push back against the penetration. I longed to be there, to sink between my daughter's legs and to lap against her maturing flesh.
"Mom ... ohh..." Kira started to strain and moaned louder, "oohhh ... ohhh ... uhnnnn..." Her body was flushed, sweat on her brow and neck. She kept her eyes closed, mouth open as she masturbated, my daughter lost in the fantasy. I loved hearing her call out to me as she started to orgasm. "Ohh ... Mom ... Mom ... Mommmmm ... oooooohhh" Kira's thighs clenched as she rolled onto her side, her body spasming and jerking, her hand held still against her crotch. I knew my daughter's pussy was drooling with cream.
Kira rested on her side a moment before rolling onto her back again, withdrawing her hand and bringing it to her nose. She inhaled her own scent deeply, then did it a second time. Slowly, she brushed her wet fingers across her stomach, wiping her own slick juices around her navel and over her abdomen. I could see a sheen of her cream spread across her skin as she breathed deeply and finally opened her eyes, staring at the ceiling.
I saw that my son had closed his eyes. I stared at him a moment, wondering what he thought of the intimate moments Jackie had showed him. Dexter's eyes fluttered open, dilated, looking at me with confusion. "Mom? What ... what just happened?"
"A gift, Dex ... a gift from someone who loves you..."
"But ... but I was just ... just watching..." he shook his head, disbelief in his expression.
"Your sister. I know. I saw it, too..."
"But how?" he asked quietly.
"I don't really know, Dex ... it's ... complicated."
He stared at me, mouth open, his face showing his arousal. "I've never ... seen her like that ... I've thought about it ... but ... never like that..."
"I know. Before a few days ago, neither had I."
"Is this real, Mom? Is this ... really happening? All this?"
"It feels real, yes," I replied, "Certainly, what you and I did was real. And what I shared with Kira was real, too. What we just watched ... I believe that, too, is very real."
"I don't understand," Dex said, shifting upright in his chair, "how can I see her, Mom? It was like I was in the room with Kira..."
I let out a long breath. "I'll tell you what I know, Dex, but ... it's going to sound crazy."
"Okay..."
I did my best to explain, starting by telling him about Jackie, about how I'd forgotten her and why I had buried my memories of my sister. I told him why, nearing tears again when I told Dex that she'd died in an accident. I skipped the details of that awful time, and described how Jackie had started to whisper to me in the night, how she'd brought back memories of our time together.
"You and your sister ... you were together?" He broke in.
"Yes ... we were more than together, Dex ... we loved each other. She was my first, my everything, for about two years. When I lost her ... I was crushed. Only very recently have I remembered, and ... that's what has led to what you and I did last night."
"How do you know," he asked gently, "that you aren't imagining it, Mom? That ... you aren't just ... hearing things..."
"At first, I didn't. I thought I was crazy." I then told him about how Kira had started to hear Jackie, too, and how we'd shared our moments together as a result of the things Jackie revealed to both of us. "If it was just me ... I'd be sure I was insane, but ... when Kira could hear her ... I don't really know what to think..."
"Why doesn't she talk to me, then?" Dex asked, pursing his lips.
"I really don't know. She told me she can watch you, that she can show you things, but, for some reason, she's unable to talk to you directly."
"Wait... 'watch' me?"
"Yes."
"Like ... like we just did to Kira?"
"Yes," I replied.
"So ... Mom ... what has she showed you?" He looked a bit agitated.
"I've seen you masturbating with my panties ... and Kira's. And ... I saw you with Donnie."
"Oh, God! Mom, no!" He shouted, angry. "That was private! You had no right!"
He was right. I felt the weight of my violating voyeursim fully. Jackie had showed me moments from my son's life which I had no right to see, and it made me sick to think that my son was upset that I had seen him sucking Donnie's cock and letting his friend blow him. "I'm sorry, Dex, I—"
"That's not fair, Mom! I didn't want you to know about ... Donnie..."
"I know," I responded, trying to calm him, "I know. I'm sorry ... I really am. I shouldn't have watched. I know that now. But ... I'm glad to know that you thought about me, Dex. It made me feel ... special ... to know you thought about me like that. It turned me on."
Dexter stared at my hand a moment, clearly agitated and trying to formulate a response. "It just feels ... wrong." He looked at my face again, "you told me not to take things without asking. I'm sorry I took your panties, Mom, but ... how is this different? How is this not worse than what I did?"
"I ... I don't know..."
My son stood and stomped off up the stairs without another word.
I slumped in my chair, angry and upset from the way I'd violated my son's trust.
I'm sorry, Penelope.
I shook my head in response.
He's right. I shouldn't have watched him. I shouldn't have shown you.
"No ... you should not have. I wish I'd have been thinking clearly then."
Me too. I was just so excited to share it with you. I never considered your son's needs. I'm sorry. I wish I could apologize to him personally.
"That would be nice, but you can't."
No, I can't. But, while I can't talk to him, maybe ... maybe I can touch him.
"What ... like you did me?"
Yes.
"How does that help, Jackie? That's just going to make things even more confusing."
You're right. I just want him to know I am sorry.
Kira came down the stairs in her nightshirt, the one I'd seen her wearing while masturbating. I wondered if those moments were happening while Dexter and I looked on. She eyed me a moment, hair disheveled. "Everything okay, Mom?" she asked gently.
I shrugged and shook my head, "some yes, some no..."
Kira sat at the table, hands in her lap a moment. "And Dex... ?"
I shrugged again.
"Did you ... sleep with him?"
"Yes." I said without much enthusiasm.
"Ah," she said, looking at her lap. "and ... was it okay?"
I nodded, "it was lovely, Kira ... just lovely."
"Good..." she replied weakly. "Where is he?"
I broke down and cried softly as I told her what had happened that morning, even about how Jackie had showed us Kira masturbating, calling my name. I sobbed as I described my son's anger at how I'd violated his privacy. "And I'm sorry to you, Kira ... Oh ... We did the same to you ... I'm so sorry."
Kira looked solemn, then shrugged, "it's okay, I guess. After what Jackie showed me of you two ... I'm okay with you watching me..."
"Thanks," I said as I tried to dry my eyes, "but your brother..."
"I'll talk to him, Mom."
"What will you say?" I asked, using the sleeve of my robe to wipe aware my last tears.
Kira replied, "I'll tell him the truth. All of it. What I've been thinking of him, and of you, and what has happened with Jackie ... and I'll tell him that I want to be with him when the time is right."
I nodded, feeling a bit of hope that the conversation might ease my son's anger at me. A selfish thought, I know, but I didn't see any way I could ask Dex for forgiveness in that moment. "Okay..."
"Mom," Kira added, "did you talk to Jackie since last night?"
"Yes, this morning."
"Did she tell you ... what I wanted?"
I let out a steady breath, "you mean about when you and your brother are together the first time?"
"Yes ... I want you to be there."
"Kira, your first time together, that should just be you two..."
"No, Mom. No." She leaned closer to me and looked into my eyes. "You always told me to make sure that, when I was ready, that I be clear about what I wanted and see that I shared myself only as I wanted to."
"That's right..."
"Well," Kira said, taking my hand, "Jackie told me that you wanted my first time with Dex to be special, and that's why you are teaching him first, so that he can make love to me the way I've imagined it. And ... honestly, I've thought about that first time with him. I've dreamed of it a hundred times, Mom, and ... you're there often. I want you there, Mom. I want to share that with you."
"But why, Kira, your first time--"
"My first time is mine to choose, and I want you with me. And ... I think Dex would like that, too, after I talk to him."
"Kira, I don't want to spoil anything. I don't want you to look back and wish you had been alone with your brother. I don't want you to regret your decision. It's ... it's odd enough, to others, that you would want your own brother to be the first man to make love to you, but your mother being there ... Oh, Kira..." I felt compelled to rise and wrap my arms around my daughter. "I just love you so much. I don't want to hurt you."
"I know, Mom. But this is what I want. Really. I thought about it even before Jackie started visiting me. I thought about you ... and ... the idea of you being there ... when Dex enters me..." Kira shivered, then broke into a smile, her voice a whisper, "I get so wet thinking of it."
I could only return her smile, barely stopping the tears from flowing again. "Alright, Kira. Alright. But only if that's what Dex really wants, too. Only if he understands and wants me there."
"I think he will, and ... I'm sure Jackie would be welcome, as well..."
I hope so. After Dexter's reaction, I am second-guessing my part in this. I am angry with myself.
Kira asked, "can you not speak to him?"
No. I don't know why. I can show him things, and I believe I can touch him. But my words don't get through to him. I've tried several times.
"Come with me, then. Help me talk to him," Kira said into the room. "And if Dex says its okay, please let Mom watch."
I'd like that, Kira.
My daughter rose and hugged me tight, pressing her face against my shoulder and kissing my neck gently. "I love you, Mom. We'll make things alright. I promise."
He's given permission for you to see, Penelope. Would you like that?
"I ... yes. I must admit I would. I'm nervous, Jackie. Nervous about how this might make things worse. I don't want to hurt him."
I think Kira is stronger and more compassionate than you understand, Penelope. She has a purpose to her, a way with words when she speaks. Kira has warmth that runs deep, and she genuinely cares about you and your son. There was a brief pause. Shall we?
I can't say why I wasn't more troubled than I was. Sure, I felt the pangs of judgement, of the understanding that I'd known my son, and he'd known me, in a very intimate and forbidden way. I even knew that what we'd done was i*****l, perhaps immoral to the core. I found that, at least in the night, I didn't care. I loved fucking Dex, and I looked forward to doing it again soon.
I stroked his stomach as I rested in his arms, my head on his chest. He breathed easily, only lightly snoring on his back. I inhaled against his skin, the warm scents of my son's flesh intoxicating and lovely.
He is beautiful, Penelope. I see your face in his. I think that's why I find him so attractive. He looks so much like you.
I didn't respond for a while, enjoying the way Dexter's chest rose and fell as he breathed.
You were wonderful together. I've never seen anything more erotic in my life.
"Life..." I said in a very low whisper. "Are you ... are you alive, Jackie?"
I feel alive.
"I just ... can't see you. And ... you go away sometimes."
I know. I can't explain it. I just am.
"Have you always been this way, since ... the accident?"
I don't know.
"You seemed to know about Gerald," I added, referring to my ex-husband, "did you see us together?"
I'm not sure. I have memories of you and him, but ... they don't feel like the ones I've had of our last few days together. They're less ... real.
"Did you get them from my mind?"
Perhaps. I can hear your thoughts, sometimes. Not all of them. I've felt your mind for many months now. It took a lot of time to come to you ... a lot of effort.
I slowly slid from under my son's arm and left him to sleep, rising and putting on my robe before sliding from Dexter's room. "Is Kira okay?"
Yes. I was with her earlier. I made her see what she will enjoy soon, when she is ready. She loves you for this. She wants you to be there when it happens.
"When what happens?" I said quietly, going downstairs to the kitchen to make a cup of tea.
When they are together the first time. She wants to share that with you.
"No, no, that should be their time for each other. It's bad enough that I took my son's virginity, I shouldn't be there for hers, as well."
She wants that, Penelope.
"And what about Dexter," I asked, settling a pouch of camomile into steaming water, "what does he want?"
I don't know. I can only watch him. I cannot ask.
"Well ... maybe he doesn't want me there."
Maybe.
"And I suppose you think I should ask him?"
You did just fuck your own son, Penelope. There was humor in Jackie's voice, pretty sure you can talk to him, too.
I sipped the tea, mulling over my sister's thoughts. Almost on cue, my son slowly slipped down the stairs wearing a pair of boxers and a sleepy grin. His cropped auburn hair showed that he'd just come from bed, messy and uneven despite its short length. Anxiety threatened to boil into my thoughts, my stomach turning over, as I realized what I'd done with my son. I'd been his first woman. I'd let my own son fuck my pussy.
"Morning..." I said, my throat tight.
"Hey..." he said, glancing at my face a few seconds before looking away. Dex stood beside the table, opposite me, an awkward stance showing his uncertainty.
"Sit, Dex ... let's talk..." I said, unsure exactly what to say.
He pulled out a chair and settled onto it. I reached across the table and motioned him to give me his hand. Dex did so, and I could feel his nerves in the way his fingers jumped in mine. For a moment, I just held him, slowly running my fingers along his, touching the small beauty marks near his wrist, lightly rubbing the flesh near his thumb. "So..." I began, "last night was wonderful, Dex."
"Yeah ... yeah," he said quietly, "I can't believe it."
"I know ... your own mom, right?"
My son nodded, looking away, "right..."
"Never thought I'd do that with you, did you? Nothing beyond your fantasies?"
He shook his head. "Never ... like ... never..."
"Well ... I can't say I ever ... not in a million years ... thought we'd know each other that way, Dexter. Never. But..." I leaned forward, drawing his bright blue eyes to mine, "I loved being with you ... I got to be your first woman, Dex ... I hope you enjoyed me..."
"Oh," he said, eyes glancing down to where my robe had opened slightly and the part between my breasts showed just the hint of what was still covered, "definitely ... I ... it was great, Mom ... you were great ... Not that I have much to compare it too, but, you were amazing..."
"Well," I said again, pausing to shake my shoulders just a bit, letting my robe fall open a bit more, my right areola just barely remaining concealed, "I want to talk to you about something important. About us ... and about Kira."
Dexter's eyes were wider, the bright blue orbs darting from my chest to where I still held his hand. "Yeah ... okay..."
"I hate to say it this way, but ... this has to be our secret, Dex ... you can't tell anyone what we did ... It must stay between the four of us."
"Okay ... uh ... between ... between the four of us?"
I realized I'd included Jackie in my count. "I'll get to that. For now ... only you and I and Kira can know about this, alright? I don't like it that way, Dex ... I really don't. But that's reality. You can't tell anyone. Not Donnie, not anyone. If someone else found out ... I'd go to jail."
"Yeah ... I know. I guess I know." He looked at his lap as he spoke. "That sucks, Mom. I'd ... I'd love to be able to tell Donnie..."
"He has fantasies of his own mother, right?"
Dex looked at me through narrowed eyes, "how'd you know that?"
"We'll get to that ... For now ... just accept that I do." I knew this conversation was becoming confusing since I'd not mentioned Jackie or the conversations I'd had with her. It was getting off track. "But let's talk about us a moment..."
"Okay..."
"I loved what we did, Dexter. I want to be with you again."
"Yeah ... me too..." my son said, eyes starting to rise back to my chest.
"Good. But it goes further than that. I know you and your sister's games with her panties have gone beyond just innocent fun. I know you like to sniff her odors, and she is eating the cum you leave there when you return them, something she enjoys."
He nodded, looking down again, blushing.
"That's okay, alright? I've made peace with that, and ... and I know it won't just be games much longer. I know you have thought of your sister ... of what she looks like naked ... what it might feel like to be with her ... and she has had the same thoughts about you."
"What? Really?" Dexter said, looking at my eyes, "I mean ... I knew we were having fun and all ... I thought ... I thought maybe it was just a game to her..."
"It was, for a while. But, she's grown up a lot in the last year or so. She's started to think about you in ways that ... well, normally she shouldn't. But ... she has, and we've talked about it some. She'd really like you to be her first man."
"Oh, Jeez..." Dex said, his cheeks rosy, "are you serious?"
"Yes ... but you should know more..."
"Okay..." he replied. I wished I could see beneath the table to where I was certain my son's cock had risen at the idea of fucking his sister.
"She and I have shared a few moments together..."
He looked at me quietly, then asked, "like ... together together?"
"Yes ... we've made love together. Just recently. She and I ... shared something which ... brought out old feelings from me, and let me see that Kira had those same urges." I was growing wet just thinking about it. "So ... we were together."
"That's so hot," Dexter stated evenly, then added, "uhh, I mean ... you know..."
"I do know. And ... yes, it was hot. Your sister is wonderful, Dexter. Yeah, she's shy and introverted, but she has a tremendous curiosity, a need to experience and explore, and ... I admit that I have enjoyed coming to know her ... intimately."
"How ... why ... I mean," my son stammered, "what has started all this, Mom? I mean ... just a couple of weeks ago ... you were furious at me for taking your panties ... now ... last night you had sex with me, and I'm learning you had sex with Kira, too. Why?"
I let out a long breath, uncertain exactly how to talk about Jackie. Unlike when I'd discussed her with Kira, Jackie had not been able to talk to him the way she had with my daughter. Even as I tried to fashion an explanation in my head, I knew it would make no sense and offer only more confusion.
I can show him something, Penelope.
"Jackie?"
My son looked at me oddly. "What?"
"Oh, uh ... well ... I—" I stammered.
I cannot talk to him yet, but I can show him something that might help.
"Okay..." I said, watching Dexter as he stared at me with confusion, "there's ... there's something you should see, Dex..."
Kira was on her back on her bed, nightshirt pushed up to her waist, her hand moving slowly between her legs. I was an observer again, watching as my daughter began to masturbate. Kira sighed as her eyes closed, her fingers dancing through her wet slit, drawing moisture up to circle her hard little clit. I saw her pull back the hood and expose her nub, slipping a finger underneath to tease her womanhood before moving down to gently probe her vagina.
"Oh..." she sighed.
I knew my immaterial body was becoming aroused, and I wished I could touch myself as I looked on. I also understood that Dex was watching his sister, though I could not feel his presence.
Kira hunched her shoulders, drawing her knees up, her feet just inches from her ass. My daughter spread her thighs wide, one hand massaging her breasts through her nightshirt, the other moving rapidly along her slit. She started to hump her hand quickly, breathing harder.
"Oh ... Mom..." she breathed. I could smell my daughter's wet genitals, her arousal matching my own. Kira dipped a finger into her pussy, only sliding a couple of inches inside, teasing her swollen cunt as she started to push back against the penetration. I longed to be there, to sink between my daughter's legs and to lap against her maturing flesh.
"Mom ... ohh..." Kira started to strain and moaned louder, "oohhh ... ohhh ... uhnnnn..." Her body was flushed, sweat on her brow and neck. She kept her eyes closed, mouth open as she masturbated, my daughter lost in the fantasy. I loved hearing her call out to me as she started to orgasm. "Ohh ... Mom ... Mom ... Mommmmm ... oooooohhh" Kira's thighs clenched as she rolled onto her side, her body spasming and jerking, her hand held still against her crotch. I knew my daughter's pussy was drooling with cream.
Kira rested on her side a moment before rolling onto her back again, withdrawing her hand and bringing it to her nose. She inhaled her own scent deeply, then did it a second time. Slowly, she brushed her wet fingers across her stomach, wiping her own slick juices around her navel and over her abdomen. I could see a sheen of her cream spread across her skin as she breathed deeply and finally opened her eyes, staring at the ceiling.
I saw that my son had closed his eyes. I stared at him a moment, wondering what he thought of the intimate moments Jackie had showed him. Dexter's eyes fluttered open, dilated, looking at me with confusion. "Mom? What ... what just happened?"
"A gift, Dex ... a gift from someone who loves you..."
"But ... but I was just ... just watching..." he shook his head, disbelief in his expression.
"Your sister. I know. I saw it, too..."
"But how?" he asked quietly.
"I don't really know, Dex ... it's ... complicated."
He stared at me, mouth open, his face showing his arousal. "I've never ... seen her like that ... I've thought about it ... but ... never like that..."
"I know. Before a few days ago, neither had I."
"Is this real, Mom? Is this ... really happening? All this?"
"It feels real, yes," I replied, "Certainly, what you and I did was real. And what I shared with Kira was real, too. What we just watched ... I believe that, too, is very real."
"I don't understand," Dex said, shifting upright in his chair, "how can I see her, Mom? It was like I was in the room with Kira..."
I let out a long breath. "I'll tell you what I know, Dex, but ... it's going to sound crazy."
"Okay..."
I did my best to explain, starting by telling him about Jackie, about how I'd forgotten her and why I had buried my memories of my sister. I told him why, nearing tears again when I told Dex that she'd died in an accident. I skipped the details of that awful time, and described how Jackie had started to whisper to me in the night, how she'd brought back memories of our time together.
"You and your sister ... you were together?" He broke in.
"Yes ... we were more than together, Dex ... we loved each other. She was my first, my everything, for about two years. When I lost her ... I was crushed. Only very recently have I remembered, and ... that's what has led to what you and I did last night."
"How do you know," he asked gently, "that you aren't imagining it, Mom? That ... you aren't just ... hearing things..."
"At first, I didn't. I thought I was crazy." I then told him about how Kira had started to hear Jackie, too, and how we'd shared our moments together as a result of the things Jackie revealed to both of us. "If it was just me ... I'd be sure I was insane, but ... when Kira could hear her ... I don't really know what to think..."
"Why doesn't she talk to me, then?" Dex asked, pursing his lips.
"I really don't know. She told me she can watch you, that she can show you things, but, for some reason, she's unable to talk to you directly."
"Wait... 'watch' me?"
"Yes."
"Like ... like we just did to Kira?"
"Yes," I replied.
"So ... Mom ... what has she showed you?" He looked a bit agitated.
"I've seen you masturbating with my panties ... and Kira's. And ... I saw you with Donnie."
"Oh, God! Mom, no!" He shouted, angry. "That was private! You had no right!"
He was right. I felt the weight of my violating voyeursim fully. Jackie had showed me moments from my son's life which I had no right to see, and it made me sick to think that my son was upset that I had seen him sucking Donnie's cock and letting his friend blow him. "I'm sorry, Dex, I—"
"That's not fair, Mom! I didn't want you to know about ... Donnie..."
"I know," I responded, trying to calm him, "I know. I'm sorry ... I really am. I shouldn't have watched. I know that now. But ... I'm glad to know that you thought about me, Dex. It made me feel ... special ... to know you thought about me like that. It turned me on."
Dexter stared at my hand a moment, clearly agitated and trying to formulate a response. "It just feels ... wrong." He looked at my face again, "you told me not to take things without asking. I'm sorry I took your panties, Mom, but ... how is this different? How is this not worse than what I did?"
"I ... I don't know..."
My son stood and stomped off up the stairs without another word.
I slumped in my chair, angry and upset from the way I'd violated my son's trust.
I'm sorry, Penelope.
I shook my head in response.
He's right. I shouldn't have watched him. I shouldn't have shown you.
"No ... you should not have. I wish I'd have been thinking clearly then."
Me too. I was just so excited to share it with you. I never considered your son's needs. I'm sorry. I wish I could apologize to him personally.
"That would be nice, but you can't."
No, I can't. But, while I can't talk to him, maybe ... maybe I can touch him.
"What ... like you did me?"
Yes.
"How does that help, Jackie? That's just going to make things even more confusing."
You're right. I just want him to know I am sorry.
Kira came down the stairs in her nightshirt, the one I'd seen her wearing while masturbating. I wondered if those moments were happening while Dexter and I looked on. She eyed me a moment, hair disheveled. "Everything okay, Mom?" she asked gently.
I shrugged and shook my head, "some yes, some no..."
Kira sat at the table, hands in her lap a moment. "And Dex... ?"
I shrugged again.
"Did you ... sleep with him?"
"Yes." I said without much enthusiasm.
"Ah," she said, looking at her lap. "and ... was it okay?"
I nodded, "it was lovely, Kira ... just lovely."
"Good..." she replied weakly. "Where is he?"
I broke down and cried softly as I told her what had happened that morning, even about how Jackie had showed us Kira masturbating, calling my name. I sobbed as I described my son's anger at how I'd violated his privacy. "And I'm sorry to you, Kira ... Oh ... We did the same to you ... I'm so sorry."
Kira looked solemn, then shrugged, "it's okay, I guess. After what Jackie showed me of you two ... I'm okay with you watching me..."
"Thanks," I said as I tried to dry my eyes, "but your brother..."
"I'll talk to him, Mom."
"What will you say?" I asked, using the sleeve of my robe to wipe aware my last tears.
Kira replied, "I'll tell him the truth. All of it. What I've been thinking of him, and of you, and what has happened with Jackie ... and I'll tell him that I want to be with him when the time is right."
I nodded, feeling a bit of hope that the conversation might ease my son's anger at me. A selfish thought, I know, but I didn't see any way I could ask Dex for forgiveness in that moment. "Okay..."
"Mom," Kira added, "did you talk to Jackie since last night?"
"Yes, this morning."
"Did she tell you ... what I wanted?"
I let out a steady breath, "you mean about when you and your brother are together the first time?"
"Yes ... I want you to be there."
"Kira, your first time together, that should just be you two..."
"No, Mom. No." She leaned closer to me and looked into my eyes. "You always told me to make sure that, when I was ready, that I be clear about what I wanted and see that I shared myself only as I wanted to."
"That's right..."
"Well," Kira said, taking my hand, "Jackie told me that you wanted my first time with Dex to be special, and that's why you are teaching him first, so that he can make love to me the way I've imagined it. And ... honestly, I've thought about that first time with him. I've dreamed of it a hundred times, Mom, and ... you're there often. I want you there, Mom. I want to share that with you."
"But why, Kira, your first time--"
"My first time is mine to choose, and I want you with me. And ... I think Dex would like that, too, after I talk to him."
"Kira, I don't want to spoil anything. I don't want you to look back and wish you had been alone with your brother. I don't want you to regret your decision. It's ... it's odd enough, to others, that you would want your own brother to be the first man to make love to you, but your mother being there ... Oh, Kira..." I felt compelled to rise and wrap my arms around my daughter. "I just love you so much. I don't want to hurt you."
"I know, Mom. But this is what I want. Really. I thought about it even before Jackie started visiting me. I thought about you ... and ... the idea of you being there ... when Dex enters me..." Kira shivered, then broke into a smile, her voice a whisper, "I get so wet thinking of it."
I could only return her smile, barely stopping the tears from flowing again. "Alright, Kira. Alright. But only if that's what Dex really wants, too. Only if he understands and wants me there."
"I think he will, and ... I'm sure Jackie would be welcome, as well..."
I hope so. After Dexter's reaction, I am second-guessing my part in this. I am angry with myself.
Kira asked, "can you not speak to him?"
No. I don't know why. I can show him things, and I believe I can touch him. But my words don't get through to him. I've tried several times.
"Come with me, then. Help me talk to him," Kira said into the room. "And if Dex says its okay, please let Mom watch."
I'd like that, Kira.
My daughter rose and hugged me tight, pressing her face against my shoulder and kissing my neck gently. "I love you, Mom. We'll make things alright. I promise."
He's given permission for you to see, Penelope. Would you like that?
"I ... yes. I must admit I would. I'm nervous, Jackie. Nervous about how this might make things worse. I don't want to hurt him."
I think Kira is stronger and more compassionate than you understand, Penelope. She has a purpose to her, a way with words when she speaks. Kira has warmth that runs deep, and she genuinely cares about you and your son. There was a brief pause. Shall we?
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