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Marcy's Playground 11 By Loyalsock free porn video
We laughed.
"I need to make a list, so I can check things off," I said. "Don't say Jesus Christ again."
"Okay," Evan said.
"Vanilla sex," I said holding up a finger.
"Oral sex," Jean-Luc said.
"We did that," I said.
He stared at me. They all stared at me.
"What?"
They continued to stare.
"Oh," I said.
"All six of the basic positions," Jean-Luc said.
"What?"
"Girl on girl sex," Evan said.
"What!?"
I looked from Jean-Luc, to Evan, to Heather. She shrugged. "I'm not sure she needs that."
"She needs that," both men said at once.
They cracked up.
"A threesome two girls and a guy," Evan said.
"Voyeurism," Jean-Luc said.
"And then you'll be ready," Evan said.
"Holy shit," I said.
"You can always back out," Heather said.
"No, no," I said. "I want to try everything, that's just, it seems a little overwhelming."
"b********y," Evan said.
I looked at him.
"Just k**ding," he said.
I narrowed my eyes.
He cracked up.
"Asshole," Jean-Luc said to him.
I stared down at my sandwich.
"That's a lot, sweetie," Evan said. "It's too much to do in a week, or even two weeks, or maybe a summer. And it's too much to push it because you want to learn because you're working in a sex club. You should let some of this stuff happen naturally." He paused. "Okay?"
"I guess," I said. "What do normal people do?" I asked.
"There's no real normal when it comes to sex," Evan said.
"People sleep with people they don't know," Heather said. "People get ****d. People go for years without sex. Some people get married when they are still virgins and only do it with one person, in military position, for fifteen years and then get divorced."
I looked at her. Yikes.
"Some people never, ever talk about it."
Double yikes.
"So you have a unique opportunity here," Heather said.
"But we don't want you to rush," Evan said.
"But I want to rush," I said.
"It's better if you don't," Jean-Luc said.
I sighed loudly. They laughed.
"Can I have lots and lots more sex?"
They laughed again. "We really have created a monster," Evan said, and smiled.
"And maybe you should have sex with more than one person," Evan said.
We all shut up, and my head snapped around to him.
"Or not," he said.
"I'm not ready to share yet," Jean-Luc said. "Way not ready."
Evan shrugged. "I'm here when you need me."
I stared at Heather. What did she think? She didn't seem to mind. "That doesn't bother you?" I asked.
"Nope. I know who he is, and how he'll be, and how he won't. I don't have to worry."
"Amazing," I said.
"I'm not the jealous type," she said.
"Weird," I said. I put my hand out. "No offense."
"None taken. I like you. I'm cool."
Okay.
"Heath," Jean-Luc said. "You got anything for dessert?"
"Ice cream."
"Yeah!" I said.
They all looked at me. So much for sounding like an adult. I bit my lip.
Jean-Luc leaned over so his lips were near my ear. "So now I know the way to your heart."
"That's not the only way," I whispered.
He smiled.
We hung out for a while more, migrating to the porch after dinner. I ended up on Evan's lap for a few minutes, then Jean-Luc's lap.
"Come over to my place?" he asked.
I shook my head. "I think I should get home," I said. I didn't add that I didn't think my parents were ready for me to have a late night out so soon after they just got back. Actually, they probably weren't set for me to have a late night out ever. I'd have to prepare them.
Jean-Luc drove me home and gave me a nice long kiss in the car.
"Is all the sex talk making you uncomfortable?" he asked.
"No," I said. "It's just weird. I'm used to thinking of myself as really shy, and it's like I let this questioning person out of the box and all of a sudden I'm not timid at all."
"I like it, baby," he said. "I like you any way I can get you."
He gave me one more kiss. I got out, and he drove off.
I had a lot to think about.
Jean-Luc called me every night at about nine. He was obviously working very hard on his case. Neither he nor Evan came in to Melody's all week. Made it kind of boring actually.
At four on Friday my phone rang. It was Heather. "Want to go to dinner and a movie with a bunch of us tonight?" she asked.
"Sure," I said.
"Okay, let me figure out the time, and I'll text you. You can meet us at my house."
"Great."
I wanted to do a happy dance, but someone came in and I had to check in their bag and swipe them.
I had to go to Heather and Evan's straight from work to get there early enough. They introduced me to their friends: Julie, Zeeter, Matt, and Aaron. Apparently all four of them were in a band and were only in town for two nights. Matt and Aaron had a sort of shimmering sexual tension between them, and I wondered if they were a couple. Probably not. That's the problem with working in a sex club, taking sex lessons, and having a sex-centered summer. You begin to see sex everywhere.
Dinner was nice. Matt kept us cracking up with stupid musician jokes the whole time.
The movie they decided on was Sin City: A Dame To Kill For. I blinked when I heard this. Really? I'm having a summer of 'learn about sex' and they pick a movie with 'sin' in the title? Apparently it was a sequel to a movie made like, when I was a toddler or something. I never saw the first movie. This movie was okay, but like everything in my life lately, a little surreal.
The best thing about the movie by far, was how Jean-Luc put his arm around the back of my seat, and how our hands touched every time we reached into the popcorn bucket at the same time. Having Evan close to me on the other side didn't hurt either.
As the credits rolled up I tried to think of all the things they said to me on Monday. It was a lot; I wasn't sure I could remember it all. But it seemed to me the first item on the list was to have more regular sex, a lot more regular sex.
I looked at Jean-Luc.
He saw me looking at him, and my facial expression must have been 'hhhhmmm I want some' because he smiled a sexy smile and raised an eyebrow. I suppressed a giggle.
Matt said he wanted to go out and hear someone else play music for once. Heather suggested a well-known bar downtown.
"Ah, I can't go," I said.
They all looked at me.
"You have to be twenty-one to get into that place," I said.
"We won't go," Evan said.
I shook my head.
"Why don't you guys go," Jean-Luc said. "I think Marcy still has some work to do for her adult education classes."
"You're going to summer school?" Aaron asked me.
Boy am I ever.
We split up in the parking lot. Jean-Luc and I got into his fancy car.
"Adult education?"
"You never heard that?" he asked.
"No," I said.
He leaned over and kissed me. "It's a euphemism for everything from learning how to pick up girls, to triple banned porn."
"Oh. And sex lessons," I said.
He smiled wide. "You better believe it."
Jean-Luc didn't break the sound barrier getting to his house, but he drove pretty fast.
When we got to his apartment, I was surprised again in how it was decorated in little clowns and glass and silver candlesticks and about a hundred figurines of tiny dancers and shepherd boys.
"I'm still surprised by all the knick knacks," I said.
"You know knick knacks can be a euphemism for female parts," he said. He raised an eyebrow.
"Oh really," I said. "Which ones?"
He walked over to me and put his arms around my waist, and his mouth to my ear. "Let me show you," he said.
Sexual tension sprang up between us. Was the tension almost as good as the sex?
Jean-Luc kissed me. Immediately I was lost in the goodness. I whimpered into his mouth. He kissed my neck, picked me up, and carried me to the bed without stopping his trail of kisses.
"Baby," he said softly.
"More learning?" I asked playfully.
He shook his head.
"No?" I pushed away from him a little bit. "No? I feel like all of you are always telling me no."
"No..." Jean-Luc said.
"See?"
We laughed.
He kissed me again.
"No lessons tonight, baby," he said. "Just us."
"The lessons are really important," I said.
"Yeah," he said. He kissed my forehead, my temple, and then my cheek. "Sex for sex's sake is important. Sex for learning is important. But tonight, how about sex because it pulls us together, because it's an important part of a relationship. I get part of us is me teaching you, but I don't want that to be the only part."
He kissed my lips, then my collarbone.
"Sex is great, sweet star. Intimacy is priceless."
Jean-Luc kneaded and kissed my breast through my shirt. Suddenly I understood.
"Hey," I said.
He stopped suckling me to look up.
"It's not just sex you want to teach me, is it? It's knowing. It's knowing you. It's knowing myself. It's knowing who I could be, at my best. It's knowing who we are together."
Jean-Luc smiled wide and caressed my cheek. "Now you get it. It's knowing that we're better," he caressed my cheek, "when we touch deep."
He rubbed his fingers over the wet patch on my shirt, zeroing in on my nipple. I arched my chest into him.
"I want to know that when I touch you, you feel it in more places than just where I'm touching you."
He stopped touching my nipple to put a finger over my heart.
"Because you do that for me, baby. Every time."
Wow.
"None of this is what I expected," I said.
"Love never is," Jean-Luc said. He rolled me under him. The weight of his body on mine was delicious. He kissed me, and it was the slow, sensuous dance that went from appetizing to driving me wild.
He ground his hips against mine, gently. I could feel the start of his erection, still a new and wondrous sensation to me.
"Sweet star, I was thinking," he said when he broke off the kiss.
"What?" I asked.
"Your list. You don't have to do all those things. You don't have to do any of those things. You just have to wait until enough time has passed between each thing you do, before you feel comfortable enough in your skin to try something new."
"I'm comfortable enough now," I said.
He didn't say no, but I could see that doubt in his face. Instead he said, "Well, maybe I can help you get there."
Jean-Luc kissed me again. I had a moment where I felt grateful and lucky, and then I was lost in the kiss.
He rubbed his hips against me, and slid his hand between us to find my breast again.
"I really like this," I whisper.
Jean-Luc chuckled and kept going. He rolled off me slightly, so just part of his body is over mine. He caressed his hand over my breasts in a figure eight pattern. Ooooh. I really like that. He caressed down my belly, up my sides, over my breasts again.
I reached for him and mimicked his motions, but on his chest. I had the distinct feeling that they aren't doing quite as much for him as they are for me.
Jean-Luc very slowly took off my shirt. The way he looked at me while he does it taught me something else. It's like how Evan looked at Heather. With a deep caring that resonates.
It made me feel more naked than being naked. But I trusted him.
I giggled.
"Sweet star?"
I reached up to kiss him. He turned the light out, and suddenly everything was different: all touch, no sight.
He reached under my skirt and rubbed me through my underwear.
"Do you want me?" he asked.
"All the time," I whispered. "Like, literally, every single minute. It's gotten really bad. I fantasize about you while I'm at work. It's a good thing I work in a sex club, I'd feel really guilty if I worked a normal job."
He laughed. "I fantasize about you too, sweet star, and I've got no excuse."
Jean-Luc kissed down my body, and then pushed up my skirt. He rested his face on my thigh.
"And I'm about to make some of those things I've been fantasizing about come true."
I tensed up. What if he doesn't like me down there?
Jean-Luc came up a little, kissed my hip, the side of my waist. He dragged his face over my ribs, and I could feel the beginning of stubble on my skin. He was going so slow, rubbing his lower lip, over every inch he teased. I imagined what it would look like, the deep dusky pink of his full lip against the creamy whiteness of the places on my skin that hadn't had a chance to tan.
He pulled my underwear off, very slowly.
"Baby?"
"Yeah," I said. Oh God, I sounded breathless.
"I'm still lucky you're letting me do this," he said.
"Me too," I said, and he chuckled.
Then he was THERE. Opening me, and kissing me, and swiping up with the flat of his tongue, and sucking that whole button into his mouth—oh fuck.
A buzzing lit off in my head. Like a million fireflies kamikazing into a bug zapper at once. I started thrashing, and Jean-Luc threw his forearm across me to hold me down. I vaguely felt his other hand biting into my hip, moving my hips in circles, grinding me into his face, as I—oh shit—just dripped more and more while my body started to jerk.
I clamped my legs together around his head. It was too much. I was on overload. I couldn't take it. I shook my head in a no, no, no, against the pillow, my hair tangling up over my face, but he couldn't see.
He rasped his teeth over me and I came hard. A shattering fireball into the summer night.
And still he didn't stop.
Oh God.
My whole body shook, as if I was having an epileptic fit. I drew in a deep breath to tell him that was enough, except then I came again, softer this time, but just as powerful, and it stole my voice away.
I tried to coordinate my limbs enough to push him away, but they weren't working.
"Stop," I said.
He stopped.
And started laughing.
"You're not supposed to be laughing," I said.
He scooted up the bed to kiss me, but I automatically turned my face away. Yick.
"It's okay," he said softly. "You're beautiful."
"Yeah, but not to me," I said.
"Maybe one day you will be," he said.
*
I snuck in late after my parents were asleep, and stayed in my bedroom very late Saturday morning, secretly hoping that they would be up and out of the house before I got up for breakfast.
No such luck.
I was tip-toeing into the kitchen when I heard my mom open the door.
"Hi Mrs. Marsden."
"Hi Bevvie."
Double ut-oh.
They both came into the kitchen. I tried to look casual as I reached for a box of Wheaties.
"Honey, I have to run to the store. Oh, and that packet came for you." My mother pointed to the table. Big manila envelope.
She grabbed her keys off the hook and left.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Haven't told her about banging Mr. Beautiful yet?"
"Gugh."
"You might want to tell them, because your 'getting busy glow' is going to show." Bevvie started singing, a mash-up mix of tunes. " 'Your love is like a love song, ba-bay. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? Voulez-vous with the cute-p*o. Hot down, summer in the city. Summer lovin' happened so fast.' "
"Shut up, Bevvie. Pretty soon you'll be singing the k**s' taunt K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
"That's next on my list. Oh wait, let me think. 'I got a brand new pair of roller skates, you got a brand new key.' "
"You're gross, Bevvie. I didn't even know that song was about sex."
"What about this one, 'Pull up to the bumper, ba-by.' "
I blinked.
"What?" she asked.
I'd never heard the song, but all of a sudden I had a feeling it had a meaning she didn't realize. Like maybe it was one of Evan's favorites.
"Nothing," I said.
"So I'm guessing you haven't told your units about Jean-Luc."
"Yeah, hell no. You're lucky I even told you."
"You didn't tell me, I guessed."
"Nosy snot," I mumbled under my breath.
"What was that?"
"You do that a lot," I said.
"So what's in the package?"
"Huh?"
Bevvie pointed to the envelope on the table. I looked at it. The return address was from Emory University.
I ripped it open. It was a huge amount of info, but there was one thing I was scanning for.
"I got into that new program," I said. "The freshman honors psychology path promise."
"That's great."
"Yeah, but it says here those students have to arrive three days before regular freshman orientation. That means they want me down there on August 18th."
"That's like, two and half weeks from now."
"I can't leave now, I'm just getting started."
Bevvie looked at me.
"I can't do the program. I can't."
Bevvie rolled her lips into a thin line. She crossed her arms over her ample chest.
"I'm not sure I can even go away. I'll apply to community college here. After a year I can—"
"You are so not going to throw your life away over a guy. Even if he is like, off the hot-o-meter."
"I'm not—"
"Marce."
I sighed. She was right. But shit.
"Bevvie? What am I going to do?"
She raised one big shoulder in a jerky shrug. "You'll long distance it, I guess."
"Jean-Luc isn't going to want to do that," I said.
"You don't know that," she said.
"You don't get it," I said. "He's not like..." I let my sentence trail into nothing. I was going to say he's not like normal guys you meet in normal places.
"He's not like what?"
"I don't know. Everyone knows long distance relationships don't work anyway."
"Marcy," Bevvie said. She opened her arms, and I hugged her.
"What the hell am I doing?" I said into her chest. "I don't, I mean I just, the whole thing is, what do I even feel? It's wild."
She pushed me away from her, looking suddenly adult for a minute. "It's your summer after high school. You don't have to know everything."
"Yeah, but I don't know anything."
"Oh, boo hoo," Bevvie said.
I smiled.
"I'm thinking you know more than me," she said. "At least now you do." And then she wiggled her eyebrows at me comically.
"I don't know why I like you," I said.
"I share my ice cream."
*
Saturday afternoon I had to go into work. This was going to be my first evening working. I had a tiny bit of nerves. Would everything be the same?
I arrived at work at 1 p.m. Dead.
I caressed the grey cover of The Magician's Land. What would Jean-Luc say? Come to mama.
At 3 p.m. I took out my phone and checked the weather. 101 degrees. With heat index, 106. Bejeebers. I looked out the windows at the blinding sunshine. Maybe that explains why it was so dead. No one wanted to come out in the heat. I looked back at my phone. General average temperature for my zip code for August 2nd. 77 degrees. Oh, great. As long as we're close.
At 5 p.m. I got up and started pacing. Too much sitting on my ass couldn't be good for me.
Howard, the seventy-year-old, came in.
"Working off some frustration there, Marcy?" he asked. He handed me his card.
"I'm just trying to stay in shape for the day you come to your senses," I said.
He cackled.
Swipe.
In he went.
But whom was he going to play with? There was no one in there.
None of my business.
Five minutes later, Brenda came on.
Okay, that's who.
Not that I'm curious or anything.
None of my business.
Then a group of middle-aged women came in. I waited. Nobody else. I wondered. Was Howard going to—? Naaaaaahhhh.
At 8 p.m. it started to get busy. Like busier than I had ever seen it busy. For the first time all summer I felt like I was earning my pay, as people poured in. Many of them I had met before. Some of the ones I hadn't stopped and introduced themselves, and I went through the whole 'yes I'm new' routine.
And people kept coming.
On the whole they were dressed fancier. There was more of an urgency to get in, like I was swiping people into a nightclub, instead of a country club. I didn't know how much of that was because it was later, and how much of that was because people were a little cracked after the crazy, record-breaking heat.
At 9 p.m. Mr J. relieved me.
I gathered my purse, book, and water bottle, and said good-bye. He waved in my general direction, distracted and not looking, as he swiped in a gaggle of girls who barely looked college age.
"I need to make a list, so I can check things off," I said. "Don't say Jesus Christ again."
"Okay," Evan said.
"Vanilla sex," I said holding up a finger.
"Oral sex," Jean-Luc said.
"We did that," I said.
He stared at me. They all stared at me.
"What?"
They continued to stare.
"Oh," I said.
"All six of the basic positions," Jean-Luc said.
"What?"
"Girl on girl sex," Evan said.
"What!?"
I looked from Jean-Luc, to Evan, to Heather. She shrugged. "I'm not sure she needs that."
"She needs that," both men said at once.
They cracked up.
"A threesome two girls and a guy," Evan said.
"Voyeurism," Jean-Luc said.
"And then you'll be ready," Evan said.
"Holy shit," I said.
"You can always back out," Heather said.
"No, no," I said. "I want to try everything, that's just, it seems a little overwhelming."
"b********y," Evan said.
I looked at him.
"Just k**ding," he said.
I narrowed my eyes.
He cracked up.
"Asshole," Jean-Luc said to him.
I stared down at my sandwich.
"That's a lot, sweetie," Evan said. "It's too much to do in a week, or even two weeks, or maybe a summer. And it's too much to push it because you want to learn because you're working in a sex club. You should let some of this stuff happen naturally." He paused. "Okay?"
"I guess," I said. "What do normal people do?" I asked.
"There's no real normal when it comes to sex," Evan said.
"People sleep with people they don't know," Heather said. "People get ****d. People go for years without sex. Some people get married when they are still virgins and only do it with one person, in military position, for fifteen years and then get divorced."
I looked at her. Yikes.
"Some people never, ever talk about it."
Double yikes.
"So you have a unique opportunity here," Heather said.
"But we don't want you to rush," Evan said.
"But I want to rush," I said.
"It's better if you don't," Jean-Luc said.
I sighed loudly. They laughed.
"Can I have lots and lots more sex?"
They laughed again. "We really have created a monster," Evan said, and smiled.
"And maybe you should have sex with more than one person," Evan said.
We all shut up, and my head snapped around to him.
"Or not," he said.
"I'm not ready to share yet," Jean-Luc said. "Way not ready."
Evan shrugged. "I'm here when you need me."
I stared at Heather. What did she think? She didn't seem to mind. "That doesn't bother you?" I asked.
"Nope. I know who he is, and how he'll be, and how he won't. I don't have to worry."
"Amazing," I said.
"I'm not the jealous type," she said.
"Weird," I said. I put my hand out. "No offense."
"None taken. I like you. I'm cool."
Okay.
"Heath," Jean-Luc said. "You got anything for dessert?"
"Ice cream."
"Yeah!" I said.
They all looked at me. So much for sounding like an adult. I bit my lip.
Jean-Luc leaned over so his lips were near my ear. "So now I know the way to your heart."
"That's not the only way," I whispered.
He smiled.
We hung out for a while more, migrating to the porch after dinner. I ended up on Evan's lap for a few minutes, then Jean-Luc's lap.
"Come over to my place?" he asked.
I shook my head. "I think I should get home," I said. I didn't add that I didn't think my parents were ready for me to have a late night out so soon after they just got back. Actually, they probably weren't set for me to have a late night out ever. I'd have to prepare them.
Jean-Luc drove me home and gave me a nice long kiss in the car.
"Is all the sex talk making you uncomfortable?" he asked.
"No," I said. "It's just weird. I'm used to thinking of myself as really shy, and it's like I let this questioning person out of the box and all of a sudden I'm not timid at all."
"I like it, baby," he said. "I like you any way I can get you."
He gave me one more kiss. I got out, and he drove off.
I had a lot to think about.
Jean-Luc called me every night at about nine. He was obviously working very hard on his case. Neither he nor Evan came in to Melody's all week. Made it kind of boring actually.
At four on Friday my phone rang. It was Heather. "Want to go to dinner and a movie with a bunch of us tonight?" she asked.
"Sure," I said.
"Okay, let me figure out the time, and I'll text you. You can meet us at my house."
"Great."
I wanted to do a happy dance, but someone came in and I had to check in their bag and swipe them.
I had to go to Heather and Evan's straight from work to get there early enough. They introduced me to their friends: Julie, Zeeter, Matt, and Aaron. Apparently all four of them were in a band and were only in town for two nights. Matt and Aaron had a sort of shimmering sexual tension between them, and I wondered if they were a couple. Probably not. That's the problem with working in a sex club, taking sex lessons, and having a sex-centered summer. You begin to see sex everywhere.
Dinner was nice. Matt kept us cracking up with stupid musician jokes the whole time.
The movie they decided on was Sin City: A Dame To Kill For. I blinked when I heard this. Really? I'm having a summer of 'learn about sex' and they pick a movie with 'sin' in the title? Apparently it was a sequel to a movie made like, when I was a toddler or something. I never saw the first movie. This movie was okay, but like everything in my life lately, a little surreal.
The best thing about the movie by far, was how Jean-Luc put his arm around the back of my seat, and how our hands touched every time we reached into the popcorn bucket at the same time. Having Evan close to me on the other side didn't hurt either.
As the credits rolled up I tried to think of all the things they said to me on Monday. It was a lot; I wasn't sure I could remember it all. But it seemed to me the first item on the list was to have more regular sex, a lot more regular sex.
I looked at Jean-Luc.
He saw me looking at him, and my facial expression must have been 'hhhhmmm I want some' because he smiled a sexy smile and raised an eyebrow. I suppressed a giggle.
Matt said he wanted to go out and hear someone else play music for once. Heather suggested a well-known bar downtown.
"Ah, I can't go," I said.
They all looked at me.
"You have to be twenty-one to get into that place," I said.
"We won't go," Evan said.
I shook my head.
"Why don't you guys go," Jean-Luc said. "I think Marcy still has some work to do for her adult education classes."
"You're going to summer school?" Aaron asked me.
Boy am I ever.
We split up in the parking lot. Jean-Luc and I got into his fancy car.
"Adult education?"
"You never heard that?" he asked.
"No," I said.
He leaned over and kissed me. "It's a euphemism for everything from learning how to pick up girls, to triple banned porn."
"Oh. And sex lessons," I said.
He smiled wide. "You better believe it."
Jean-Luc didn't break the sound barrier getting to his house, but he drove pretty fast.
When we got to his apartment, I was surprised again in how it was decorated in little clowns and glass and silver candlesticks and about a hundred figurines of tiny dancers and shepherd boys.
"I'm still surprised by all the knick knacks," I said.
"You know knick knacks can be a euphemism for female parts," he said. He raised an eyebrow.
"Oh really," I said. "Which ones?"
He walked over to me and put his arms around my waist, and his mouth to my ear. "Let me show you," he said.
Sexual tension sprang up between us. Was the tension almost as good as the sex?
Jean-Luc kissed me. Immediately I was lost in the goodness. I whimpered into his mouth. He kissed my neck, picked me up, and carried me to the bed without stopping his trail of kisses.
"Baby," he said softly.
"More learning?" I asked playfully.
He shook his head.
"No?" I pushed away from him a little bit. "No? I feel like all of you are always telling me no."
"No..." Jean-Luc said.
"See?"
We laughed.
He kissed me again.
"No lessons tonight, baby," he said. "Just us."
"The lessons are really important," I said.
"Yeah," he said. He kissed my forehead, my temple, and then my cheek. "Sex for sex's sake is important. Sex for learning is important. But tonight, how about sex because it pulls us together, because it's an important part of a relationship. I get part of us is me teaching you, but I don't want that to be the only part."
He kissed my lips, then my collarbone.
"Sex is great, sweet star. Intimacy is priceless."
Jean-Luc kneaded and kissed my breast through my shirt. Suddenly I understood.
"Hey," I said.
He stopped suckling me to look up.
"It's not just sex you want to teach me, is it? It's knowing. It's knowing you. It's knowing myself. It's knowing who I could be, at my best. It's knowing who we are together."
Jean-Luc smiled wide and caressed my cheek. "Now you get it. It's knowing that we're better," he caressed my cheek, "when we touch deep."
He rubbed his fingers over the wet patch on my shirt, zeroing in on my nipple. I arched my chest into him.
"I want to know that when I touch you, you feel it in more places than just where I'm touching you."
He stopped touching my nipple to put a finger over my heart.
"Because you do that for me, baby. Every time."
Wow.
"None of this is what I expected," I said.
"Love never is," Jean-Luc said. He rolled me under him. The weight of his body on mine was delicious. He kissed me, and it was the slow, sensuous dance that went from appetizing to driving me wild.
He ground his hips against mine, gently. I could feel the start of his erection, still a new and wondrous sensation to me.
"Sweet star, I was thinking," he said when he broke off the kiss.
"What?" I asked.
"Your list. You don't have to do all those things. You don't have to do any of those things. You just have to wait until enough time has passed between each thing you do, before you feel comfortable enough in your skin to try something new."
"I'm comfortable enough now," I said.
He didn't say no, but I could see that doubt in his face. Instead he said, "Well, maybe I can help you get there."
Jean-Luc kissed me again. I had a moment where I felt grateful and lucky, and then I was lost in the kiss.
He rubbed his hips against me, and slid his hand between us to find my breast again.
"I really like this," I whisper.
Jean-Luc chuckled and kept going. He rolled off me slightly, so just part of his body is over mine. He caressed his hand over my breasts in a figure eight pattern. Ooooh. I really like that. He caressed down my belly, up my sides, over my breasts again.
I reached for him and mimicked his motions, but on his chest. I had the distinct feeling that they aren't doing quite as much for him as they are for me.
Jean-Luc very slowly took off my shirt. The way he looked at me while he does it taught me something else. It's like how Evan looked at Heather. With a deep caring that resonates.
It made me feel more naked than being naked. But I trusted him.
I giggled.
"Sweet star?"
I reached up to kiss him. He turned the light out, and suddenly everything was different: all touch, no sight.
He reached under my skirt and rubbed me through my underwear.
"Do you want me?" he asked.
"All the time," I whispered. "Like, literally, every single minute. It's gotten really bad. I fantasize about you while I'm at work. It's a good thing I work in a sex club, I'd feel really guilty if I worked a normal job."
He laughed. "I fantasize about you too, sweet star, and I've got no excuse."
Jean-Luc kissed down my body, and then pushed up my skirt. He rested his face on my thigh.
"And I'm about to make some of those things I've been fantasizing about come true."
I tensed up. What if he doesn't like me down there?
Jean-Luc came up a little, kissed my hip, the side of my waist. He dragged his face over my ribs, and I could feel the beginning of stubble on my skin. He was going so slow, rubbing his lower lip, over every inch he teased. I imagined what it would look like, the deep dusky pink of his full lip against the creamy whiteness of the places on my skin that hadn't had a chance to tan.
He pulled my underwear off, very slowly.
"Baby?"
"Yeah," I said. Oh God, I sounded breathless.
"I'm still lucky you're letting me do this," he said.
"Me too," I said, and he chuckled.
Then he was THERE. Opening me, and kissing me, and swiping up with the flat of his tongue, and sucking that whole button into his mouth—oh fuck.
A buzzing lit off in my head. Like a million fireflies kamikazing into a bug zapper at once. I started thrashing, and Jean-Luc threw his forearm across me to hold me down. I vaguely felt his other hand biting into my hip, moving my hips in circles, grinding me into his face, as I—oh shit—just dripped more and more while my body started to jerk.
I clamped my legs together around his head. It was too much. I was on overload. I couldn't take it. I shook my head in a no, no, no, against the pillow, my hair tangling up over my face, but he couldn't see.
He rasped his teeth over me and I came hard. A shattering fireball into the summer night.
And still he didn't stop.
Oh God.
My whole body shook, as if I was having an epileptic fit. I drew in a deep breath to tell him that was enough, except then I came again, softer this time, but just as powerful, and it stole my voice away.
I tried to coordinate my limbs enough to push him away, but they weren't working.
"Stop," I said.
He stopped.
And started laughing.
"You're not supposed to be laughing," I said.
He scooted up the bed to kiss me, but I automatically turned my face away. Yick.
"It's okay," he said softly. "You're beautiful."
"Yeah, but not to me," I said.
"Maybe one day you will be," he said.
*
I snuck in late after my parents were asleep, and stayed in my bedroom very late Saturday morning, secretly hoping that they would be up and out of the house before I got up for breakfast.
No such luck.
I was tip-toeing into the kitchen when I heard my mom open the door.
"Hi Mrs. Marsden."
"Hi Bevvie."
Double ut-oh.
They both came into the kitchen. I tried to look casual as I reached for a box of Wheaties.
"Honey, I have to run to the store. Oh, and that packet came for you." My mother pointed to the table. Big manila envelope.
She grabbed her keys off the hook and left.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Haven't told her about banging Mr. Beautiful yet?"
"Gugh."
"You might want to tell them, because your 'getting busy glow' is going to show." Bevvie started singing, a mash-up mix of tunes. " 'Your love is like a love song, ba-bay. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? Voulez-vous with the cute-p*o. Hot down, summer in the city. Summer lovin' happened so fast.' "
"Shut up, Bevvie. Pretty soon you'll be singing the k**s' taunt K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
"That's next on my list. Oh wait, let me think. 'I got a brand new pair of roller skates, you got a brand new key.' "
"You're gross, Bevvie. I didn't even know that song was about sex."
"What about this one, 'Pull up to the bumper, ba-by.' "
I blinked.
"What?" she asked.
I'd never heard the song, but all of a sudden I had a feeling it had a meaning she didn't realize. Like maybe it was one of Evan's favorites.
"Nothing," I said.
"So I'm guessing you haven't told your units about Jean-Luc."
"Yeah, hell no. You're lucky I even told you."
"You didn't tell me, I guessed."
"Nosy snot," I mumbled under my breath.
"What was that?"
"You do that a lot," I said.
"So what's in the package?"
"Huh?"
Bevvie pointed to the envelope on the table. I looked at it. The return address was from Emory University.
I ripped it open. It was a huge amount of info, but there was one thing I was scanning for.
"I got into that new program," I said. "The freshman honors psychology path promise."
"That's great."
"Yeah, but it says here those students have to arrive three days before regular freshman orientation. That means they want me down there on August 18th."
"That's like, two and half weeks from now."
"I can't leave now, I'm just getting started."
Bevvie looked at me.
"I can't do the program. I can't."
Bevvie rolled her lips into a thin line. She crossed her arms over her ample chest.
"I'm not sure I can even go away. I'll apply to community college here. After a year I can—"
"You are so not going to throw your life away over a guy. Even if he is like, off the hot-o-meter."
"I'm not—"
"Marce."
I sighed. She was right. But shit.
"Bevvie? What am I going to do?"
She raised one big shoulder in a jerky shrug. "You'll long distance it, I guess."
"Jean-Luc isn't going to want to do that," I said.
"You don't know that," she said.
"You don't get it," I said. "He's not like..." I let my sentence trail into nothing. I was going to say he's not like normal guys you meet in normal places.
"He's not like what?"
"I don't know. Everyone knows long distance relationships don't work anyway."
"Marcy," Bevvie said. She opened her arms, and I hugged her.
"What the hell am I doing?" I said into her chest. "I don't, I mean I just, the whole thing is, what do I even feel? It's wild."
She pushed me away from her, looking suddenly adult for a minute. "It's your summer after high school. You don't have to know everything."
"Yeah, but I don't know anything."
"Oh, boo hoo," Bevvie said.
I smiled.
"I'm thinking you know more than me," she said. "At least now you do." And then she wiggled her eyebrows at me comically.
"I don't know why I like you," I said.
"I share my ice cream."
*
Saturday afternoon I had to go into work. This was going to be my first evening working. I had a tiny bit of nerves. Would everything be the same?
I arrived at work at 1 p.m. Dead.
I caressed the grey cover of The Magician's Land. What would Jean-Luc say? Come to mama.
At 3 p.m. I took out my phone and checked the weather. 101 degrees. With heat index, 106. Bejeebers. I looked out the windows at the blinding sunshine. Maybe that explains why it was so dead. No one wanted to come out in the heat. I looked back at my phone. General average temperature for my zip code for August 2nd. 77 degrees. Oh, great. As long as we're close.
At 5 p.m. I got up and started pacing. Too much sitting on my ass couldn't be good for me.
Howard, the seventy-year-old, came in.
"Working off some frustration there, Marcy?" he asked. He handed me his card.
"I'm just trying to stay in shape for the day you come to your senses," I said.
He cackled.
Swipe.
In he went.
But whom was he going to play with? There was no one in there.
None of my business.
Five minutes later, Brenda came on.
Okay, that's who.
Not that I'm curious or anything.
None of my business.
Then a group of middle-aged women came in. I waited. Nobody else. I wondered. Was Howard going to—? Naaaaaahhhh.
At 8 p.m. it started to get busy. Like busier than I had ever seen it busy. For the first time all summer I felt like I was earning my pay, as people poured in. Many of them I had met before. Some of the ones I hadn't stopped and introduced themselves, and I went through the whole 'yes I'm new' routine.
And people kept coming.
On the whole they were dressed fancier. There was more of an urgency to get in, like I was swiping people into a nightclub, instead of a country club. I didn't know how much of that was because it was later, and how much of that was because people were a little cracked after the crazy, record-breaking heat.
At 9 p.m. Mr J. relieved me.
I gathered my purse, book, and water bottle, and said good-bye. He waved in my general direction, distracted and not looking, as he swiped in a gaggle of girls who barely looked college age.
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