A New Day, The Other Me Chapter 12 free porn video

“Guy… Guy did you hear me,” I ask my patient who is sitting on a couch looking out of the window.

“Yes,” the young man replies without looking at me.

“Could you answer the question please,” I ask and he continues to stare outside.

“You asked me how I feel,” he responds and pauses almost to think of an answer,” Through nerve endings in and under my skin.”

“You know what I meant Guy,” I reply trying to get something out of him.

Three sessions in a week and nothing, not a single emotional response from Guy despite all the prodding I and his family have been doing. One week it’s the charming young man in the suit and now I watch a person who has no life or emotion move through his day like he’s waiting for death. The entire family including his newest sister are all concerned; in fact the only person I can’t figure out more than Guy is his biological father. Nobody seems to know what triggered this episode in him and they tell me so, except his father doesn’t talk about it. He watches for Guy, waits for Guy to speak with him and when asked if he knows anything he ignores the question like you didn’t exist while you were speaking. I’ve watch him do it not only to myself but to other members of the family. Its frustrating when you know the missing piece of the puzzle is right there but you can’t find it because someone is walking away with it.

“I know what you meant; I said after Sunday I’d change and that I’d be different. I didn’t expect this,” Guy finally answers my question and looks away from the window and down at himself.

“What happened Sunday,” I ask now that I have a point where things could have started.

I heard from the family there was some sort of a fight between Guy and his father on Sunday, an argument where Guy told his father that he ruined it and to go die somewhere. The story changes from family member to family member but the general idea is the same, Guy now hates his father and won’t interact with him or anyone else in the family since nearly everyone has tried to be a peace keeper and get them to talk. Only reason Guy talks to me is because as much as the family would want me to putting the two of them in the same room together would be the worst idea imaginable.

“I wanted justice and I was denied justice. Now I live in a world that I can’t exercise even the slightest control over so I’m waiting,” Guy replies to my question and gives me a little to work with.

“Guy you are smart enough to realize your family is gravely concerned for you,” I ask him and he nods,” They want to talk to you but you don’t listen to them, I’ve watched you avoid every member of your family in the past few sessions and only speak with me once they leave the room. Can you explain why you are against communicating with them?”

“Because I don’t make a habit of dealing with people who betray me,” his response is curious and I dig in.

“Why do you feel they betrayed you,” I ask the obvious since he’s responding to the questions.

“Because they don’t want me to succeed, I was ready to be made whole again and instead they want me broken and weak. They wanted me where they could control me because they didn’t like that I was doing what I needed to do to fix myself,” I listen and Guy explains and while answers are vague his determination is worse than before, now he really has no path out in his mind.

“Guy I know you probably won’t tell me and I understand if it’s too soon for you to talk about it but can you go into detail about what happened between you and your father on Sunday,” I ask and he finally looks at me.

“He stole from me what was going to make me whole, I was ready to be whole again and he decided that I’d be better empty… that’s how I feel Doctor, empty,” Guy tells me but I suspect more.

“Is this because after nine years he finally decided to be an authority figure to you,” I ask and he lightly shakes his head,” Is it because he is trying to be there for you? Have you considered he was trying to save you from something that would possibly hurt you, maybe even kill you?”

I ask the question and Guy finally stares at me hard, like he’s trying to figure me out. I watch as his body shudders lightly for a moment and I think I might have reached him, I am very wrong.

“You’re helping him, you’re helping all of them aren’t you,” Guy doesn’t ask, he accuses in a hollow voice.

“Guy I’m here to help you through what happened to you,” I begin and he decides he’s not done talking.

“You’re here because they pay you to be here. What happened to me HE did and THEY condoned. THEY sneak and hide and have private talks where I can’t hear, conspiring against me and now that I know they are conspiring they bring you in so they can learn more,” Guy stands up from the couch and it’s not anger, it’s his empty feeling coming off of him.

“Guy just calm down for a minute. Yes I am paid to be here but you are my patient and I am concerned for your mental health, what has happened to you for nine years has been more than anyone should endure and now you are turning on the people who have been the most concerned for you,” I begin to explain but he’s not listening.

“No, they are concerned for their control over me but there is a simple solution for that,” Guy says before walking past me and to the door to the room,” You can show yourself out, don’t come back for me… you won’t enjoy what you find.”

I can’t physically stop him from leaving, it’s his parent’s home and I get out of the room enough to see him make his way up the stairs and out of our session before seeing his parents, all three of them watch him walk away from me. They have questions and I have more.

“Dr. Hill could you please explain to us what happened,” Mr. Deluater asks, not in a demanding tone either.

“He doesn’t trust anyone here and he won’t tell me anything now,” I state a little disgusted with the whole situation,” If that’s everything I’ll send you my bill since getting him to speak with me now will take a straight jacket, a care facility and a lot of pharmaceutical assistance.”

“My son isn’t that bad, he’s upset but we’re just trying to help him,” the Mother, Loretta Delauter, decides to add her two cents.

“Helping him was possible months ago in a care facility where he could work out his issues in a controlled and stable environment. Now he’s had time to establish this process of healing on his own, I have no clue what it was and I’m afraid to guess, and you,” I turn to his biological father,” stepped in the way of it and in his mind have ruined any chance he had at recovery. You want your son helped? I’ll have him committed under psychiatric advisement since he’s not able to make rational decisions and he’ll get help he’s needed for months.”

“Dr. Hill what are our other options,” Mr. Delauter asks again without any anger.

“Find another Doctor who can work a miracle because he’s done with everyone in this house. His father has ruined his chance of healing or as he calls it ‘being made whole’ and he won’t forgive you for that. Then when he turned to everyone else to take his side against his father you tried to play peacemaker and at that instant he saw nobody on his side, you were on his father’s side,” I explain and Mrs. Donnelly decides to interject.

“We were trying to help the two of them talk and work things out,” she explains and I have to remind her what she’s dealing with.

“And that would work with a rational mind, your son is not rational nor is he stable. His father sided with his tormentors in his mind,” I explain and finally the Father adds something.

“He was going to hurt people, he could have been hurt had I not stopped him,” good linear thinking from Daddy Donnelly.

“That doesn’t matter to him; it hasn’t mattered since his second attack. All that mattered was what he planned to do to make himself feel better and when you stopped it you became the enemy. Then everyone told him he was wrong to put his hate on you for you trying to save him and now all of you get to sit on the opposite side of him. He won’t talk to you because you are his enemy now just as much as the police officers who hurt him and the gang members that attacked him,” I explain and now they stop trying to justify their actions,” You wanted to help him but you didn’t do what was best for him. Do you want him committed to psychiatric or not?”

“We’ll need time to figure out what would be best for Guy, Dr. Hill could you please come back soon for a follow up appointment,” Mr. Delauter asks and I nod but I know better.

I leave the parents to their decisions and see the siblings all waiting expectantly like I’m going to tell them their brother is going to be alright. I shake my head and return to my car, I need to get back to the office and start paperwork to commit Guy to a care facility before something horrible happens.

Carlos Ortega

Its Monday one week after Guy was supposed to ‘get his revenge’ or whatever on me and my people but nothing has happened. I’ve seen his sisters at school and while Bethany and her friends are quiet about everything Abigail is worse. I was watching as her and Marta were talking and I don’t know what Marta said but Abigail was loud enough telling my sister where she could go and where her family could go with her that I don’t think anyone knew she could get that loud. I waited till Abby left before checking on my sister who told me ‘shit was fucked up’ and ‘we need to fix it’. Well it’s the beginning of a new week and still no Guy at school which doesn’t help my plans to talk to him and put myself in front of him. Another school day passes and not one of my people has seen Guy when I figure I need to talk to someone new. I get a notice she’s alone heading to her car as I jog to catch up to her.

“Hey, girl we need to talk,” I tell the girl in the black leather jacket.

“Why? You want to run a train on me with your boys but I got to be cool with it first? Or do your ladies need someone to show them how not to look like whores,” she turns on me fast but I expected the hostility.

“Woah, that ain’t who we are. Yeah shit we done ain’t nice or friendly and yeah Guy took a lot from us but we ain’t doing that anymore,” I tell her and she doesn’t look like she cares,” Do you know where he is? I’ve been waiting for him to hit me with whatever he had and nothing.”

“So what you actually want to pay for the shit you did,” she asks and I shrug.

“Figure I owed it to him to let him do whatever he had planned to me,” I tell her and she looks at me more confused.

“You’d let him just take it out of you? Yeah you really should rethink how you look at revenge. It wasn’t about him getting revenge, he wanted to feel like he could hurt you and I haven’t heard from him since before he was supposed to do everything,” she explains and I figure I need to push a little.

“If you see him tell him anything he needs to do we’re here. That and I’m sorry,” I tell the girl before leaving for my ride.

I make it to my ride and head to meet up with someone a little wiser and a lot older than anyone I know for advice. He’s in his office and a little surprised to see me, I’m a couple days early.

“And here you are again with that look on your face,” the Old Man greets me without even looking up from his books.

“Yeah well I’m just wondering what happened. He kept saying that he was going to do… something and he’s been missing for a week now and when anyone got close to his family to ask questions they snapped,” I start to explain but the Old Man looks up at me.

“You mean she snapped. You like that sister of his and she snapped at you,” he says but I shake my head.

“Abby snapped at my sister. They’re friends and Marta was trying to be a friend and Abby just went off like a bomb,” I explain and the Old Man sits back.

“Has it even once occurred to you that this girl is never going to just saddle up to you no matter what you do? Maybe that you’ve hurt enough of her family that she’ll never see you as anything more than what you made yourself into in her mind,” he tells me and I figure he’s right.

“Not just her man, since all this came out nobody looks at me or my people the same. I mean I barely got my sister to talking to me and one of my boys asked a girl out and…,” I want to say something about it but the Old Man knows.

“He got turned down hard enough to warrant a response from the females in your crew,” he asks and I nod, she was harsh for a sophomore,” Well I say stop worrying about kiddie shit and focus on business. You’re done with this, hell you only stayed in that school an extra year for two reasons. Your sister and recruiting.”

“Yeah well numbers this year aren’t so good,” I tell him and he nods.

“Because it’s time for you to get out, now you send younger people in and in less than a year people will want in and you’ll be running bigger section of business under me and we’ll carve out more control over the drugs you hate,” he tells me and I nod but it seems so far away,” Stop pissing and moaning about, I mean the kid’s gotta be happy we found his tormentors.”

Detective Nancy Escalante

The trace DNA matched up, the fingerprints on the bag matched up and after we raided Officer Martinez’s home and found a couple more things I was able to piece into the second attack on Guy Donnelly. I got the people who attacked Guy, Detectives James and Crawford along with the previously mentioned Officer Martinez, but all have decided to lawyer up through their Union reps and won’t talk even with us keeping them separate so they can’t change stories or coordinate pointing the blame. Captain Miller isn’t too happy either since this happened in house but he’s doing his most to keep it down and out of major public scrutiny considering all the trouble it’ll bring. Worst thing I have going on now is the looks I’m getting from the other officers. Crawford and James were good officers, good detectives and were known for answering calls to back up others when they were needed. I’m eating with Dominique from the lab because my desk is near what feels like hostile territory when she asks a question.

“So have you spoken with the victim yet,” she gets the words out and it hits me.

“No, I mean he’s probably been informed but I’ve been so busy the past week with everything upstairs that I completely forgot,” I tell Dominique who gives me a skeptical look.

“Right, and it wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that you took so long the first time and he has less respect for the police than half the people you’ve busted,” Dom is being a little over the top.

“I failed him because I was looking in the wrong place but now I get to change that story and put a better ending on it,” I tell her grabbing what’s left of my leftovers.

Yes it’s the middle of the day on a school day but I figure it’ll be good to see Guy as soon as he’s home from school and give him the good news. It takes me about thirty minutes to drive to the neighborhood and another ten just to get to the house but I’m at the front door with a happier mood as I knock on the door. Sadly the woman answering, Guy’s mother Loretta, is not as happy.

“Hello Detective is there something I can do for you,” she greets me sounding a little flat.

“Actually I was wondering if I could speak with your son,” I say the last word and she cringes.

“That… would be unadvisable right now; my son is troubled and has been out of school for the past week. Right now he’s upstairs in his room and he’ll probably be there tomorrow as well,” Loretta Donnelly tells me and I nod but I have to persist.

“Please Ma’am; I’d like to speak with him. It’ll be for a few moments but it’s important and if he’s troubled maybe I can help,” I offer and see her resist.

“Detective Escalante, I understand this is a good time for you by helping us and solving the two attacks on my son but it’s not a good time for him or my family. Things have been… trying recently and we’re still not making any headway in putting the pieces back together,” She explains and I am going to have to insist also.

“Be that as it may I can try to speak with him, see where he’s at and if he allows it talk to you about it,” I offer and I see a crack in her resolve,” Besides if you don’t want me up there than me being up there is what he’ll want.”

It’s a shot in the dark but considering everything that has happened with Guy and the stress him mother is obviously under he’s probably angry at them and everyone else since he was wrong about Carlos Ortega and his people. Well he wasn’t completely wrong, just about two incidents. Mrs. Delauter allows me inside and has the maid take me to Guy’s room, the maid doesn’t seem afraid of Guy’s room like the mother was, I’ll have to check on that later. I knock on the door and don’t hear anything when the maid, Rosa, opens it for me and motions me to step inside. I don’t see Guy anywhere at first but some movement at the side of the bed by the floor and wall show me Guy in sweats and a t shirt. He raises his face to me and I see a blank and honestly empty feeling in his eyes as I move to speak with him.

“Hello Guy, your mother said you’d be up here,” I start and he doesn’t respond,” I had to insist that I came to see you, she was against it but benefits of a badge.”

“Why come to me, you found your bad guys. Ironically enough I have no clue who they are so arresting them gives me no respite,” Guy says in an even, almost monotone.

“Still wish it was Carlos Ortega,” I ask and he looks at me,” I know now everything that happened to you. It came out a little while back ironically when we were questioning one of the officers involved in what happened to you. They saw some of what happened and that’s what made you a perfect victim.”

“Well apparently not perfect enough at being victim, Carlos and his people still walk the streets free and clear while I live out my time as the fool who couldn’t even get justice for himself,” Guy is talking about something he was planning and I remember him trying to buy a weapon.

“Not like you and the attempted gun buy,” I ask and he shrugs,” Guy why are you up here really? They won’t talk to me about it and your mother was dead set on me not coming up here so explain it to me in simple terms please. I am the cop that couldn’t find your attackers for over half a year.”

It’s a bad joke at my own expense but I see him shift a little, maybe I’m reaching him. I watch him straighten up and after a moment of his own thoughts I get my answer.

“I had a plan; I was going to hurt them. I was going to hurt them and they were going to have to live with what I did for years. No hospital, no funeral, no blood. Just fire but my fire was taken from me,” he begins and I almost ask who took his ‘fire’,” My family decided that they knew what was best for me regardless of what I wanted or had planned.”

“So say you did whatever you did, how bad would have been the fallout on your family,” I ask and he shakes his head,” Not want to think about it?”

“No there would have been none, nobody physically hurt. Just a lot of people wondering what happened and picking up the pieces of their lives afterwards, sadly that’s not meant to be and there is a simple saying I’ve adopted since I was little. If you’re not with me you’re against me,” he says and I nod.

“Yeah, I have five members of my own family that don’t talk to me and my Mom keeps asking when I’m going to fix the mess I made,” I explain and he actually gives me an interested look,” I arrested my cousin and he served five years in jail. I wouldn’t let him go or take the stand in defense of him.”

“And his family, Mom and Dad were a little upset,” Guy asks and he sits up from his spot on the wall.

“Yes, but not as much as his brother and sisters,” I begin and realize that I’m letting him know a little more about my past than I originally intended but maybe this will do something for him,” rest of my family took their side out loud but nobody says anything about it in private or to my parents and I know what I did was right.”

“Well that explains how you can knowingly arrest people close to you despite how ‘good’ people say they are,” Guy says and I see him settle back to his spot on the floor and wall.

“There’s a point to it, family is going to defend family. My parents want peace but my cousins can’t accept that their brother was a shit got caught,” I explain and he nods a little.

“There is no best in people, everyone wants to hurt you and when they can they will betray you. you can only trust yourself,” he says and I watch his head roll down to have him looking at the floor,” despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage.”

“Then do something about it, if they try to stop you then keep doing it. You want to make people remember what they did to you and regret it then do something. Just don’t do something I’ll have to respond to… I would arrest you,” I add the last bit as a joke, it’s not like he’s really able to hurt anyone.

I say my goodbye to Guy and hope he will feel better soon before stepping out of his room and make my way back down to the main floor of the house. His mother is waiting almost expectantly wringing her hands and waiting for some sort of run down as to what we spoke about.

“He’s defeated, that’s how he feels. He hoped his family would support him but you didn’t and whether you believe it or not he does. Want to get him out of his room,” I ask her and she nods a little,” show him something that would help prove you want to do what’s best for him in his mind, not yours.”

“I don’t know how to do that, I’m not even sure what that would be,” she says and I shrug.

“If you know who they are, the people he seems fixed on, just find a spot and poke it publically,” I tell her as she shows me to the door.

I feel good, better than I have in months now that I’m putting this more in my rearview and looking forward to what could be a promising career if I can get a few of my fellow officers to trust me again. Need to call John, he promised me a weekend.

Loretta Donnelly: Thursday that week

Find a spot and poke, advice from the detective that brought my son’s attackers to justice. I dusted myself off and went to work, two days worth of work and maneuvering to find a very soft and tender spot. Now I have a meeting and I need one person to help me, my son. I’m outside his door and ready to force him to dress up having asked him four times when he steps out in a polo shirt and slacks, his hair isn’t done per se, just that young male messy the girls seem to love. We get in my car and we’re off to my meeting. He doesn’t ask what we’re doing, he barely resisted coming with me save for not responding when I asked how close he was to getting ready. We’re in my car, I wouldn’t even dare to try to take his car considering how attached he was/is to it. I honestly don’t know what my baby boy is thinking these days but it’s about time I dusted off my worst trait. We arrive at the hotel restaurant and are seated, menus are handed out and I read over mine while Guy sits quietly waiting for something to come around and shake him loose. My friends arrive shortly and are seated, nobody Guy knows, and we begin to discuss business before I order both for myself and my son. I eat and talk while explaining that my son is a little overwhelmed by everything that has been coming through his life recently. We work out basic details and I am assured that should I need to take action it will be done fast and with very little compassion for the other party. My guests leave first and I finish my meal, Guy is about half way through his and picking at it like he doesn’t know if he has an appetite or not. Love my son but no time for me to be soft right now, Mommy has a couple more stops before we return home. Another drive and this time we’re at a more faithful location. I’ve seen the letters and figured I’d meet with the nice priest who has been requesting a few serious donations. I park in the designated visitor parking and grab a few files from the soft leather attaché case I keep for documents and once I coax my son out of my car I lead him into the church and get my son seated in the back while I meet with Father Gomez. He’s a younger but not too young priest with a happy yet tired face and a full head of thick black hair and a matching mustache.

“Mrs. Delauter? I’m Father Gomez and welcome to my humble church,” he greets me with a smile and a hand shake.

“Thank you Father, I’ve finally been able to look at a few of your requests. You didn’t list a lot of specifics so I had to do some digging,” I mention my investigating and he looks surprise,” The people I am representing like to know the money they donate will be put to good solid things and not frivolous endeavors.”

He assures me of his good intentions, I already know what he really needs but he tells me a few of them. I listen as he explains restoration, repair and revival. It’s a lot of work but not impossible, just takes time and money. He shows me how the electrical system needs updating and the plumbing has a few problems, all of that I already know about but I listen anyway. I’m waiting for it. Half an hour of talking and him proving to me he is a good decent leader for this community is all it takes before I hear them.

“Hey Father G,” I almost detest the sound of my son’s tormentors but in this case I was hoping for them.

Alright I wasn’t hoping, I have two daughters who moved a lot of personal information to find out when Marta’s brother’s people were going to be visiting this church to help out with some of the clean up. Father Gomez doesn’t see my reaction to the young men and it only takes a moment before they notice my son.

“Hey, it’s him,” one says pointing out my son to a thin Latino, possibly the one in charge,” Go get your stuff man.”

“Yeah H, we got your back man. Just keep it cool, Carlos is still watching out on him,” a heavier one tells their leader.

I pay attention to my papers as Father Gomez attends to three out of the four boys while the leader moves in on my son. Guy doesn’t react to Hector, I don’t even think he responded to Hector until he touched my son’s shoulder and then I heard a defined ‘no’. I figure now I get to act, more aptly react.

“Excuse me but take your hand off my son,” I use Mom voice, I have one and rarely use it as Guy cringes a little.

“Your what,” Hector, skinny little gang member, removes his hand from Guy and turns to address me,” You’re his Moms?”

“No I am his Mother, I am not his Moms. Now step away from my son,” I tell him and he gives me that look, that I don’t take orders from you look.

“Listen lady, me and your son got business so back up for a minute,” oh now I am smiling mad.

“Father Gomez,” I call out and that gives Hector pause.

“Mrs. Donnelly? Is something wrong,” Gomez asks moving towards me and I turn to face him, Hector can wait.

“Could you please explain to me why a gang member is harassing my son in your church,” I ask and everyone in earshot stops.

“Mrs. Donnelly that boy is not a gang member, they are a neighborhood watch group and they help out at this parish,” Gomez explains and I stop him.

“No, that is a gang member. His friends helping you are gang members; this is a haven for gang activity. Interesting that you’d leave that off your list of known affiliations,” I state recalling the facts as Gomez scrambles a little.

“I apologize Mrs. Donnelly but as I said they are not gang members,” his argument is one of ignorance, not greed, poor man.

“If they are not a gang why is he harassing my son? Why is it when I told him to stop he told me ‘back up for a minute’? That sounds just like the mentality of someone who answers to a different brand of order than those of us who follow the legal system. Now aside from the now simple fact that you cannot tell a gang member from a teenager in sagging cloths have him lift up his shirt and turn around,” I tell Gomez who looks at me a little stunned,” Tell him to lift his shirt and show me his back.”

“Hector do what the lady says,” Gomez tells Hector and now Hector is nervous.

“Umm Father G, can I not do this right here,” Hector asks and now he’s nervous.

“So what is he holding Father Gomez? Is it a gun? Drugs? Why is one of your ‘helpers’ who is a neighborhood watch member afraid to do the most basic search in front of us,” I ask and Gomez is watching his funding fade into the shadows.

“Mrs. Donnelly I’m sorry he was speaking with your son and he didn’t respect your wishes. Some of the young men in the neighborhood watch group are still in a few church courses on how to respect others as they would want to be respected,” Gomez is turning old testament, too little too late.

“I’ve seen all I need to see Father Gomez, don’t reapply for funding again. We have other more… respectable groups that can be funded without appearing to fund violent gang activity. Have a pleasant day,” I finish my meeting with Father Gomez who pales a little at my words.

Hector moves out from in between Guy and I and with no prompting Guy stands and I place my hand on his shoulder to help guide him. I get almost out of the door when I stop and turn to look at Hector.

“Carlos Ortega… he’s the leader of your little group isn’t he,” I ask and before he answers I finish my thought,” don’t speak, I’m just confirming what I already know. You might want to talk to him soon, he’s about to have a worse day than you.”

With that I lead my son to the passenger side of the car and let him get in without any help from me before joining him and driving to my last stop for the day. I’ve seen the house before in the small pictures that Abby used to send to show me where she was a couple years earlier. The single floor house is in three files I had delivered from the bank manager I was speaking with at lunch today. I step out of my car and encourage my son to step out with me. He’s cautious I think, I can’t honestly gauge his feelings right now but the boldness that he had before Neal did whatever Neal did is gone leaving me a shattered son. There are several of the gang members that Abigail informed me of that Carlos leads hanging around the front yard with their various colorful cars and I’m thankful the colorful language has stopped as my Mercedes and I drew the attention I needed.

“I’m here to speak to Carlos Ortega, how does one gain the attention of someone in charge in this… social setting,” I ask keeping my money and standing at the front of
this situation, for now.

It takes about a minute before I’m treated to the muscular Latino male that is Carlos Ortega, he sees Guy but what he can’t stop looking at is me. I’m pretty sure he never thought I would ever show up on his front lawn. He’s cautious but respectful; I think he knows who I am.

“Mrs. Delauter,” he asks and I nod,” Ma’am I didn’t know you’d be coming by. I was hoping to speak to your son and hopefully the members of your family soon. A lot of things happened and I’m not proud of my hand in not stopping them when I should have.”

“Not stopping them is that how you see it,” I ask in a plain and very neutral tone.

“It was my people and I was in charge when it was happening so it’s on me. I said already I’m not proud of it and I was hoping to find a time to come over to your home myself and apologize for actions that fall under my responsibility to stop,” Carlos is good, saying all the right words for a person trying to plead their case.

“See and that’s how my son saw it for the most part, that it was your fault. I have adopted his way of thinking on this matter and while my son is currently not feeling one hundred percent I am,” I inform Mr. Ortega stepping onto his property,” Your father’s annual salary is about what… thirty six thousand? Mother only brings in an additional twenty two thousand and yet they have a double mortgage on a four bedroom home with almost no collateral.”

“Mrs. Delauter I don’t understand,” Carlos says and I nod smiling.

“I don’t expect you to… yet. Have you checked your mail today,” I ask and Carlos has the most confused look on his face,” You might want to, it’s a bit important.”

I watch him leave his parent’s lawn and head into his house; they must have brought in the mail without him knowing already. It takes a few minutes and while I wait I examine the house from a distance before Carlos returns from inside his home with the letter I hoped he would find.

“What is this, we make payments,” Carlos asks and I smile, my turn.

“No you make late payments, consistently late almost every other month for the past year and the approval process for your… I mean your parent’s second mortgage was approved when there were too many indicators that stated it shouldn’t have been granted. Now what you have there is your chance to keep things the way they are but I have to warn you that when people buy mortgages from the bank they don’t have to follow basic lease/renter laws,” I begin to explain and he rereads some of the paperwork.

“We can’t get thirty five grand in a week,” Carlos says it more for himself than me, but I like to hear it.

“That isn’t the bank’s concern but it does work out well for me as I’m on the list of people who look to renovate and purchase delinquent properties from their owners… well I am as of this week at least and I have three properties on my list,” I produce my file and take a quick look to recall the addresses,” Well this is fifty four sixty eight Bridges Road. I still need to stop off and visit twenty three zero eight Juarez Lane and six zero zero four Parkland Road.”

“That’s my Aunt’s house… and my cousin’s job! What… why… why are you doing this? I’m sorry, I feel horrible for what happened but this is my home… my family… why would you do this to them,” Carlos asks and his people are watching their leader’s world crumble.

“Because he is my family and my family has suffered enough without any sort of apology for months and that was only when my son was nearly killed did you seem to find any real remorse according to my information. You used your small power, influence and ‘friends’ to repeatedly abuse and hurt my son,” I begin to explain as his ‘gang’ looks at me like I’m the angel of death,” So now I’m going to use my connections, my family’s power and my money to do the same to you only I won’t have to be so quiet and hidden. I’m going to drag your family out of their homes and your friends out of their jobs.”

“But they didn’t do anything to you… or him,” Carlos is struggling, good; he needs to struggle with this.

“Because Carlos Ortega… I want people to remember your name. I want anyone who hears the name Delauter, Donnelly or Guy to remember Carlos Ortega and the ruin that was left of him and his family’s lives. When people ask about what happened to Guy Donnelly I want them to talk about how Carlos Ortega’s Aunt and Cousin were evicted from their home because they were related to him. When your friend Dutch finds out that he has to sell off his business at a severe loss because my son wants to build a business on its foundation it’s because he was your friend,” I step up to Carlos who is shaking in panic, I like that he’s afraid of me and my son, he wasn’t afraid before but he is now,” And when you look your Mother, Father and sister in the eye and explain to them that your family home is no longer theirs and you have to move to a cramped little apartment because nobody will allow you to take out a loan for a new house… I want you to remember that this was your fault. I want everyone to hear my son’s name and tell the tale of what happened to you.”

“I’m sorry… Mrs. Delauter I’m so sorry. Guy I’m sorry,” Carlos is pleading and I see tears, I have none for him.

“Well now, this has been a very productive day but I must get home and help out with dinner for my family,” I return to my car and look as Guy stares at Carlos almost like he’s trying to figure out what is happening.

“Mom… why,” my son asked me a question, his first words to me in almost two weeks.

“You are my son, your father tried to help you but he denied you what you wanted,” I ask and my son nods,” It might not have been what you wanted but you’re father is not a vengeful person, that particular trait you get from me.”

My son returns to his place in my car and we leave Carlos Ortega in tears in his own front yard in front of all his little friends. I don’t think about how he’s going to explain things to his family or who he is going to ask for help. Right now I’m thinking of my son and that he spoke to me, small steps. We return home and I walk with my son slowly into our home, he’s thinking that much I can tell and I let him take his time as my daughters check to make sure everything is alright and I figure soon enough I’ll let Abigail know that I’m going to be making her friend Marta homeless. I get started on dinner for the family and set a place for Guy at the kitchen bar in case he comes down. He hasn’t been sitting with the family the few meals he’s been a part of so let him decide where he wants to sit if he comes down but he spoke to me, that is a sign of something.

Almost six when I get the family seated for dinner but no sign of Guy, I hoped he would come down but I just barely got him to speak to me so it could be too much. We are nearly done with dinner when I hear glass shatter and the entire family, Gwen and Neal included all jump a little at the table. I get up from my seat and find my son Guy dressed in jeans and a plain white shirt but my eyes find his hands, my son’s bleeding knuckles.

“Guy do you need to tell us something,” I ask holding back my concern, trust the doctor’s original words and let him come to me.

“Talk… TV room… Parents… Now,” Guy demands stalking away from the family.

I nod and wave my husband off, I know what Guy meant but I’ll explain what needs to be explained soon for him alone. I lead Neal into the TV room and he closes the door after us as I watch my baby boy pace like a caged animal, I know this rage, he gets it from me.

“Why did you stop me,” Guy asks and looks at his Father for the answer,” WHY?”

“You were going to kill people or get yourself killed,” Neal answers Guy and I feel like I should have been brought in on what happened now a week ago.

“Did you see my plans? No, they were scattered on the floor of the unit. Had you read what I put down there you would have realized that what I had planned was physically painless,” Guy explains to his father very angry, angry is better than the depressed ‘nobody cares about me’ mood I think.

“Guy you had trajectories and times listed and once I figured out who you pissed off I had to make sure you didn’t get yourself thrown in jail or killed,” Neal is concerned for our son but something is wrong with Guy when he says that.

“How the hell did I come from you if you can’t think four steps ahead of the plan? The times were for when there was nobody in the buildings. I was going to blow them up and burn them down when NOBODY was in them. Some go homeless, some lose money but everyone feels a big ass dose of loss and they have to live with it. I had the ‘painless’ but horribly painful revenge planned and you, a man who decided nine years to late you wanted to be a father again, come out of the shadows and destroy my best plan to be made whole again,” Guy is angry but he thinks before he acts and this is a lot of thought, destructive thought but well thought out destruction.

“What Guy is trying to say Neal is that when someone else in our family needed you to step in and help guide them you decided to take everything into your own hands,” Guy almost interrupts me but he stops, he’s thinking even when he’s mad,” our marriage was good until… what happened and I threw myself into a bottle. That is my fault and for a few years you picked up the pieces and tried to keep things together, I don’t know if I could have been that strong.”

“Loretta I was trying to save our son,” Neal is defending himself but I am coming to a revelation on the subject.

“Yes but from what exactly? I heard you and some of your old work buddies talk; you planned everything when you were in the service. You didn’t always work by the seat of your pants. Now our son had a plan that was violent and barbaric but instead of confronting him you knee jerked on the situation and made a judgment call,” I explain his actions as seen from an objective point of view before shifting to a more personal one,” You did it to me and our marriage when there were plenty of other options and while I don’t fault you on your choice it shows that you don’t communicate with people when you expect them to trust you.”

“I couldn’t wait, his timetable was rapidly approaching. I had enough time to make a quick decision and that one took the criminals off the search for him,” Neal explains,” He covered his tracks but one RPG in a home and nobody would stop looking for him. Not the Police or the people he stole the weapons from could have let that slide. They would have found him then what?”

“We’d have dealt with that if it happened. I sat by for long enough and trusted that my son was taking care of himself and he was happy. In one morning you broke all the trust he had with you Neal, don’t you see that? YOU broke team,” I use old military terms to try to relate to him.

Guy isn’t visibly angry but I can still feel him burning while Neal is quietly standing in his shame because he has nothing to counter this. I didn’t fully plan to cut Guy’s father down so hard or at all for that matter, but Guy isn’t going to explain himself anymore and I have clarity on the situation as to what my son had planned. Now I turn to my baby boy.

“Guy you had a plan, you were going to fix things but you didn’t try to explain this when I and the rest of our family were simply trying to figure out by talking… TALKING to each other. Not sulking around like the world ended,” I realize I am being a little too harsh,” You felt you needed this payback and while I’m not sure burning down a few buildings was the best idea you were trying to do something on your own.”

“Yes, I was trying to get this for me,” Guy interrupts but I let him for a brief moment.

“I understand that but that’s not what families do. What happened to you happened to all of us, yes you suffered and you bled and you lay in pain physically and mentally for years but ALL of us suffered. This family is walking on egg shells waiting for you to blow up or change and all the time you have these secrets and plans that you keep to yourself and I trusted you to be smart and safe about it,” I am on a roll when a mistake is made.

“He ruined it, I had everything perfect and he just took that from me,” Guy tries to defend himself but he interrupted me.

“I AM NOT DONE TALKING,” I raise my voice and that shook my son out of his mood a little,” I trusted you to be smart and safe but did you trust me enough to sit down and talk to me like a son would. I wasn’t judging you on your anger when your father did what he did to your plans, I was trying to understand what went wrong and you threw that in my face then proceeded to turn on every single member of your family with no regard for the fact that they are trying to help you. Now you two sit down and either talk it out or fight but I swear to god you break anything crystal I will own both your asses, am I understood?”

Both my ex-husband and son nod at the same time and I leave them to their talk or fight, I don’t know which but I hope Neal doesn’t hurt Guy too much if it comes to that. I close the door after me and see my children and husband staring at me like I’m going to explode, I counter with a simple smile and ask an overdue question.

“What did Guy break,” my simple question and my step son is the first to answer.

“His bathroom mirror, I picked up the pieces and took them out to the trash. I didn’t want anyone to get cut,” Mark replies trying to win favor he doesn’t need to.

“Thank you Mark, they might be a while so let’s clean up dinner and try to settle down this evening,” I lead my family back to the finish of our dinner and quietly count, five minutes and no fighting should be enough to let me know it’s safe.

Neal Donnelly

And now I’m face to face with my biggest mistake, not my son, I never should have left him to Loretta. How different would he have turned out? I don’t let myself get distracted by what if when I have my son staring at me like he’s waiting for something… an apology maybe?

“I’m not apologizing for ruining your plan, I did what I thought was going to keep you from getting hurt or worse,” I tell my son who looks like he’s getting angry again,” I am sorry for not talking to you about it first. Guy sometimes obvious way isn’t always the best way for you.”

“I wouldn’t know I haven’t really tried it before,” he tells me and I remember him beating the crap out of a kid.

“And what about the beating you dished out,” I remind him and he shrugs.

“I was put into a position where I could make a statement, that was a statement,” he justifies himself.

“A statement made by beating someone so badly his friends weren’t fully able to render first aid without outside assistance,” I checked up on the kid Romeo,” you hurt him, put his friends on notice but you won’t get a chance like that again.”

“Now? Now you want me to get violent? Now you ‘condone’ violent action,” Guy asks me and I don’t quite have an answer for him.

“I’m trying to find something to put us back together, I screwed up what you had and I didn’t talk to you about it before I did it so that’s on me. Maybe your plan would have worked but it drew too much attention,” I explain and Guy stops his anger like something just came to him.

“Attention, draw attention…,” he says before shaking off whatever idea he had,” No, no no no you don’t get to have a say or ‘help’ me. I can’t trust you.”

“You want to make a statement then,” I ask growing angry,” You want to put some real fear in them? First you look like you’re showing mercy, let them think they’re safe and THEN you hurt them. They don’t feel shock when you tell them its coming, they wait for it.”

“Why mercy, they don’t deserve it,” he asks with a tone sounding like someone spitting.

“Because it’s not about you showing mercy, it’s about them thinking you are putting everything behind you and when they relax you hurt them. You hurt a few of them so bad they can’t do anything but ask for a truce or retaliate,” I explain and he shakes his head.

“And again I’m alone in a fight surrounded by enemies only now I have no weapons to match them,” Guy states and he still won’t try to trust me,” I’m better when I do my own planning, you’re just not cut out for anything garner results.”

I’m mad but it’s about time to show my hand a lot, he didn’t trust me or anyone enough to see his armory now I am going to have to take that risk on him. I don’t like being as forceful with my son as I need to be but grabbing him by the collar and dragging him out of my ex-wife’s TV room and towards the front door.

“Pa what are you doing,” Gwen asks and I hold up my truck keys as I pull my son out the front door.

He’s not fighting me but he’s not exactly interested in going with me either. I pull open the passenger side door for him and let go moving around to the driver side and get in, my son however is staring at me with that all too familiar look of contempt.

“You want to see what I can really do,” I ask starting my truck.

I let Guy barely get in and pull away from the house fast causing the door to slam shut. I’m not driving safe by normal standards, I’m driving safe by military standards when in hostile territory and there is a potential threat of roadside bombs. I watch my son a little out of the corner of my view and while he’s mad I’m making him a little nervous as I pull onto the freeway and proceed to scare every other driver in existence. I pull off the freeway and turn down a side street to an alley before stopping at a small rental garage, the kind that people claim is a rental apartment on Craigslist. My daughter showed me that website and from what I can gather it’s where criminals and serious freaks go to find each other. I pull into the garage/apartment/rental and once the door is down behind us, I fixed its motor and saved fifty bucks in rent; I exit my truck and move in the dark to my stool. I hear my son exit and fumble around trying to figure out where anything is, I give him a minute before flipping on the switch and almost blind him. I set up a decent work bench and have two M-4 Carbines, one heavily modified AR-15 I picked up a month ago, a pump action Mossberg with shoulder stock, two forty-fives, three nine millimeters, and a lone thirty eight revolver. Add to that the two knives I keep on me at all times, the ammunition in boxes and loaded into magazines and the cleaning/maintenance kits and that’s pretty much everything I had shipped down to me from home. Guy is a little surprised but that hasn’t doused his anger any.

“So you kept some of the weapons I took for yourself,” he asks and I want to cuff him upside his head.

“These are mine, I heard what happened to you and after arguing about it with Gwen I came down here to keep an eye out and see who came after you. If they did it again I was going to handle it,” I explain and he laughs.

“You mean you would have actually done something,” Guy asks mocking me.

“I would have done what was needed, I know you don’t understand that I was trying to protect you but I am trying to show you that there can always be another way,” I explain and he stops laughing.

“Everyone who talks about there being another way is usually wrong. The way that works, that has always worked is to cause as much harm and damage to the other side that the next three people who think about coming after you are too scared by what they see to get out of bed,” Guy is angry and vengeful but not as wrong as I’d like him to be.

“And are you trained enough to know what that entails? Have you been to the shittiest places in the world and dealt with people you’d barely classify as human just to put them on a list of names for pieces of shit that need to be wiped off the planet? No, you’ve had it tough but you have no clue what a real war is, neither does that boy Carlos and his little gang of children pretending to be tough adults,” I am angry and questioning his logic,” If something happened to you I would have brought a quick and decisive retribution and that would have been the end of it.”

“No, you would have stepped in and done what I should have been doing myself. You don’t get it, I don’t need you and after what you did I certainly don’t want you to ‘help’ me from here on out,” Guy is angry but keeping it in check,” What did you think I was going to do seeing all this? Be impressed? In awe that you have weapons of your own? The difference between you and me is I had weapons and a plan, you only have weapons and intentions that you’re too scared to act on.”

“Killing people is easy, Guy,” I start and he cuts me off.

“I wouldn’t know, I’ve never tried,” Guy retorts quick and doesn’t regret a word.

“I want to help you but you need to do it the right way,” I start to explain and he laughs at me.

“The right way? Did you actually stand there and try to tell me there is a right way to get justice on people who walk around the law,” Guy asks shocked at my words and not in a positive way if there could be a positive.

“You hit them where they hurt and when it’s smart,” I say it and realize the hole in my argument.

“You mean like burning down their houses and businesses when there is nobody in them so they feel the pain but live through the ordeal,” Guy couldn’t resist taking that shot.

I sit down on my stool, the only place to sit in the room that is occupied mostly by truck, and realize this isn’t a fight or even argument I can win. He is mad, I got in the way but he won’t listen to reason. I haven’t felt this bad in nine years and its all creeping back on me. I take my keys out of my pocket and drop/toss them to Guy’s feet before moving the stool to the work bench and proceed to unroll a cleaning kit.

“Go home,” I tell Guy as I begin disassembling one of the forty-fives.

“What, you’re just quitting and now I have to drive your truck home so you can sit here and play with your toys,” Guy asks and I am so tired I’m not thinking fully.

“You won, go home,” I tell my son and he scoffs a little.

“Won what,” He asks not entirely sure of his victory.

“The fight, the argument, call it whatever you want you won. I’m beat and I’m tired and I don’t want to even try anymore so go home,” I tell my son and don’t hear him moving,” You got what you wanted, you hurt me bad to make up for me hurting you by not being there and ruining your plans.”

“I what, what makes you think that is ever what I wanted to do,” Guy asks and I turn to face him and I think my few tears surprise him.

“Because every time I try you just drive a nail into me and I can’t fight back anymore,” I turn and quickly load a forty-five before holding it out to him,” Here, shoot me.”

“Why the hell would I want to shoot you,” Guy asks backing away from the gun.

“Because you just want to make people hurt and I hurt you worse than anyone else so here, shoot me,” I shove the gun in his hand get down on my knees,” just do it, pull the trigger.”

“From someone who almost has… have you lost your mind,” he asks me and I don’t even want to justify it.

“I’m tired son; I’m tired of feeling like I only ever did half the job of being a dad. I’m tired of always turning around and realizing that the more I try to save someone I end up hurting them. I’m tired of failing my family… failing you. Just pull the trigger, please,” I ask my son who is so angry and confused he places the barrel against my head.

I feel the cool steel on my scalp and wait quietly with my eyes closed, I just want to quit and he deserves to get something back and considering he doesn’t want anything I can give him this is something he can take for himself. We are here in this one moment and I’m ready for it, if I was ever more ready to just lay down and die I honestly don’t remember it and if I did it’d be my mind lying to me. I wait and the barrel slowly moves off of my head and I hear my son step away from me slowly before backing into the front end of the truck and falling to the floor. Now we’re both sitting, I didn’t hear the pistol hit the ground which is good since the triggers are sensitive and it would possibly go off and hit someone other than me.

“You’re strong boy, you have so much going on inside you I’m surprised you don’t explode and you keep moving,” I tell my son waiting for the bullet that won’t come.

“I don’t have a choice, I can’t stop or I feel it,” my son tells me sliding the gun across the concrete floor to me,” I feel hurt all the time. I feel weak and every time I try to step up and make something happen something, anything always seems to step in and prove I can’t get anything back.”

“Why get anything back, it’s harder to walk away from the fight,” I tell my son who shakes his head at my words,” Why not walk away?”

“I’d normally make a comment about you walking away but you were forced out and couldn’t even bring yourself to walk back and face me. You are the only person out there that is actually afraid of what I’m going to do, everyone else stands around and just looks at me like ‘well we can take it, what is the worst he can do’,” my son finally bringing everything out to my level and I understand.

“You want them to be afraid of you,” I ask beginning to understand my son a little more.

“No chance of that now, they’re afraid of Mom now,” Guy says and I wait for the story.

I listen to Guy explain what he was doing out in town with his mother today. I know Loretta is where he gets his temper but she is especially mad if she’s going after people’s homes and using the legal system to do it. I don’t feel as down on myself as he talks and I think about my words earlier and I think about what Guy wanted to do and how it’s fundamentally the same as what his mother is doing in a sense. I do look at my son who has crossed his legs like a kid in school and is sitting on the floor of the workshop/garage leaning against the front of my truck. I don’t know who feels more beaten by this situation, him or me.

“I let my fear dictate my actions when I took those weapons and made sure they went back to the arms dealers… my fear that you’d get killed or be put in jail. I didn’t look at your plans as much as I could have or even think I could speak to you about it,” I tell Guy who I look up to see is looking at me.

“You didn’t think you could speak to me about it or should,” he asks and he’s picking at my words.

“Could, how much have you actually thought about talking to me and trying to work things out between us,” I ask and he leans his head back,” Exactly, I said I’d take care of you and I didn’t so to you that makes me a liar. I never came back to save you before all this and that makes me a horrible father. What could I have possibly said to you that would have led to us working things out together after I found those weapons? What would you have said if I had confronted you without removing them?”

“I would have let you help me,” Guy laughs a little as he answers.

“Help you burn down homes and businesses,” I ask a little shocked at his admission.

“Yeah, had anyone come into it I would have tried to get them to help me. More hands makes lighter work,” I remember Guy’s grandpa telling me that, guess he passed it down,” But you didn’t, instead you just came in and destroyed everything I was working to accomplish.”

“How many innocent people would have been hurt,” I ask my son who scoffs.

“I had it planned so nobody would be there when it happened,” he informs me and I shake my head at his words.

“No I mean how many people would be without a job? How many people would be homeless who never did anything to you? How many would have been hurt by association,” I ask and Guy is thinking a little more,” you would have hurt people who did nothing. How does that balance everything out?”

I don’t know what I said but that stops Guy in his thoughts and for some reason he’s thinking. It’s not a little thought either and we sit in the cold quiet of the workshop/garage while his thoughts run their course till finally he speaks.

“What did you mean show them ‘mercy’,” Guy almost spits out the last word.

Carlos: Monday the Next Week

“I did the math on everything, even if every puts down everything they have,” Romeo is going over what shitty books I’ve been keeping,” and we sell at least half the cars in the next couple days at the low end of the blue book we’ll still be….”

“Stuck and that’s just my parent’s house, we don’t have enough and even if I ask for assistance I don’t know what we’re giving up for it,” I tell my new brains and bookkeeper,” Guy’s family has completely fucked me.”

“Maybe we should finally do something about it,” Hector says joining in on the conversation.

“And what do you propose Hector? Just what can we do to someone who isn’t here and is completely off the list of people you or anyone is allowed to fuck with,” Romeo asks Hector and I think Rome is turning on him a little.

I let my boys argue as I think about what I’m supposed to tell Mom and Dad, yeah I haven’t told them the bad news yet. I have just over a week and there is nothing other than talking to the Old Man and working out some sort of deal and then that only covers us. What do I do about Dutch and Imelda? School day runs on and I’m barely aware of shit that’s happening around me when I’m heading out from lunch and half my crew has made a wall between me and… oh shit that’s Guy.

“Hello,” Guy looks at me and sort of waves like we don’