Jaded
- 3 years ago
- 26
- 0
‘You’re a special woman, Rachel,’ James said gently. ‘I love you. I never thought I could feel this strongly about anyone…’
Rachel smiled and held out her hand. ‘I love you, too…’
Tonight was their two month anniversary. It was a deeply romantic occasion, set in candlelight at a small local Italian restaurant. Frank Sinatra sang about New York in the background. Rachel, innocent and pretty, was in heaven. She tried and failed to protect her face from the indignity of running makeup. She was adorable, with shoulder-length blonde hair pulled back in a clip, smooth white skin, baby blue eyes and a soft smile. She was in love and didn’t try to hide it.
‘We have a future together, you know,’ James said.
‘Yes. I want that.’ Rachel answered with a smile. ‘So much.’
James allowed his mind to drift back. Two months ago.
He had met Rachel at a party thrown by a mutual friend, a flashy woman named Victoria, who adored opening her home to large gatherings that included plenty of alcohol. Rachel was new to this particular circle of friends, and nursed a drink standing in a corner of the living room, appearing to be interested in the books on a tall oak bookshelf. In reality, she looked lonely.
James had endured a strange battery of relationship failures up to that point, but he was determined to make a change. Rachel was cute. No, James decided, she was seriously cute, a term he had overused in high school that was reserved for only the best, most attractive of women. Further, Rachel was isolated and, in fact, a little lonely. James found out much later that she had never been in a truly serious relationship before. The attention James ravished on her was soaked up greedily. She beamed in his spotlight.
They spent the evening together and shared a kiss before the night was over. They would see each other again two days later, then approximately every other day after that for the next eight weeks. They made love for the first time two weeks after the party – an intense, emotional session that left them both satisfied and sweaty.
‘You’re a great lover, baby,’ James smiled. ‘Everything you do, my body loves.’
‘Then I want to do everything,’ Rachel beamed.
So they did. They played with each other in every way imaginable, ways that certainly surprised Rachel.
‘Oh my God, I can’t believe we did that,’ Rachel said laughing one time. ‘It felt so good….but I’m really not that kind of girl.’
‘You’re not?’ James responded with an exaggerated expression of shock.
‘Maybe for you I am,’ Rachel teased. She was curled up and happy in his strong arms.
‘You’re amazing, Rachel. Everything we do is special, and it makes me want to do more. It makes me want to learn everything about you and your body and what makes you feel good.’
‘Yes. I love you, James. I want to share everything with you.’
Oral sex. Anal sex. Toys. Bondage. Nothing was off limits – everything was experimental and fun. They could do no wrong with each other. Everything was playful and done out of trust and love.
Or so Rachel thought.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
James had been dating off and on for many years before he met Rachel. At age 24, he met Samantha, a woman he fell in love with quickly. She was bright, emotional, honest and dependable. She was also very pretty, but reserved. He saw a future with Samantha. He treated her as an equal, a woman deserving of respect. He held doors open for her, complimented her regularly, took her out several nights each week.
‘I’ve been looking for a man to treat me this way for a long time,’ Samantha said. ‘You wouldn’t believe how most men treat women. Like shit, mostly…’
James basked in her compliments. He thought he learned a lot from his father how to treat a woman. Gentle, with respect and dignity.
‘You’re a good guy,’ Samantha had told him on many occasions. ‘You’re a good, decent, solid guy.’
Over time, the compliments made him feel as if he were lacking some essential quality that men should have. Once he learned that these compliments were less about who he was as a human being and more about her need to not feel vulnerable, he felt less complimented. In fact, James knew he was a good but also quite complex man. He wasn’t necessarily the complete angel that she assumed he was.
He tried to expand their relationship into new territory. Sex between the two of them lacked spontaneity and passion. Their time together grew stale.
‘Let’s try something new, something crazy,’ James said one night. ‘Something sexy.’
‘Like what?’ Samantha responded defensively, almost as if she were constructing a wall around herself. The word sex appeared to have some automatic negative connotation for her.
‘I don’t know. I want to enjoy you, find out new things about you, learn what makes you tick…’
Samantha sighed and looked downward, as if to say, ‘Here we go again.’
‘Let’s try a little bondage…tie you up, make you my sexy little love slave for the night…’
Samantha got upset and started to cry. James was crestfallen.
‘Did I say something wrong?’
‘I don’t want to do that stuff.’
‘Oh. Why not? Sex is supposed to be fun…’
‘I’ve done that stuff, James. It’s in my past and I want to leave it there.’
‘I don’t understand…why wouldn’t you want to be as open and playful for the man who loves you and wants to marry you? Why do that with other men and not me?’
‘It’s in my past, James! It had it’s moment in my life, but that’s gone now. I got hurt. I felt used. I told myself never again.’
‘Why did you feel used? Tell me about that…’
‘They said they loved me but they only wanted sex.’
‘Did you enjoy any of it?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe. Sometimes. It’s just, I don’t want to go there…it’s not who I am anymore…’
‘But…’
‘Never again. If you loved me you’d understand. Leave it alone.’
James was hurt, far more than he allowed himself to show to Samantha or to anyone else in the outside world. He didn’t understand. Sex and touching and making love was supposed to be fun, a natural part of all relationships. Why would she open herself up to these assholes and then close herself off to the man who was committed to her?
James fumed for weeks, hurt and rejected. He often compared himself to her former lovers, and wondered what exactly had transpired and why he was getting something less than what he wanted. He was jealous of men that he had never met, jealous of what they had shared with her and jealous that they had opened her up in ways that were always going to elude him.
Samantha had walled herself off emotionally and spiritually. She was unavailable in ways that were important to him. She would never be able to trust him the same way she trusted her ex-lovers. James broke up with Samantha several weeks later.
James met Toni a few months later. Toni had dated an abusive man before James came into her life. This fact alone should have set off bright red alarm bells within his mind, but no – apparently, James believed that he would earn her trust and open her life up in ways that her ex could not. He was wrong.
‘I was in love with him,’ Toni explained when James asked her about her prior relationships. ‘He was so sweet at first and we had so much fun together.’
‘What kind of fun?’
‘All kinds. We went out a lot, we had crazy sex…’
‘Crazy sex?’
‘Oh my god, one time we invited his friend over and had kind of a threeway,’ Toni said almost in wonderment. ‘It was fun, out-of-control…’
‘What else?’
‘We would go out on the town, catch a show, stay up until the early morning making love. I didn’t see his darker side until later, though. He sometimes drank too much, and then he just got mean.’
‘Would you ever do a threeway again?’
‘Oh hell no. Never. That relationship hurt me a lot. Never again. I just want a sweet, ordinary man to settle down with. That’s all.’
This was a common theme. Every time this theme repeated itself, it hurt James more. Women who pour themselves into men who don’t deserve it, leaving a burned out husk of a woman behind. Some of the women he met were wonderful in many ways – intelligent, faithful, pretty, great personality – but there was always that defensive shell where they had been hurt before. They would never open up and take risks like they once had – those days were gone. Never again.
James, as the nice, polite honest man, would just have to accept it and love them for who they are. On behalf of decent honest men everywhere, he was fed up.
Tanya was the final straw – such a bubbly, outgoing woman with a large personality. James fell for Tanya and saw a bright future with her. She might someday make a great mother and wife. Except –
‘I don’t like sex that much. I know it’s important to you guys, so yes, I can do it, but don’t expect me to get into it too much. It’s just not that important to me.’
‘Sex is part of love. It bonds a couple together.’
‘That’s a line I’ve heard a million times before. I’m sick of it. All sex has ever done is hurt me.’
James didn’t understand how this woman, smart and funny, could turn so cold when the subject of sex came up. It doesn’t fit. It doesn’t make sense.
‘Sex feels good…’ James tried to argue, but there was no point. It wasn’t a logical thing. It was a defense mechanism, as powerful as a child’s urge to move his hand quickly away from a hot stove.
Tanya wouldn’t listen anymore. ‘I promised myself that I would not give away my body sexually as I had done in the past. I tried those things, but they are in my past.’
‘Did you enjoy it at all?’
‘It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done.’
James broke up with Tanya a few weeks later. The emotions were overwhelming. Somewhere deep in his psyche, he snapped. He found himself alone, sometimes in front of a mirror, asking tough questions.
‘I don’t understand. I want a best friend and a lover. I want someone to open up. Someone who understands me. I can’t find that. I don’t understand.’
These women were jaded. Hurt. Angry.
Never again, they said.
It’s over, James told himself through clenched teeth. I’m finished playing the ‘good guy.’ I don’t want another man’s sloppy seconds. I don’t want the sad, empty, hollow woman who gave her very best to a man who never deserved it.
If this is how the game is played, then let’s begin. Blow the whistle. I’m ready.
James was a cauldron of fury, determined to get a piece of the sexually adventurous pie. Determined not to finish in second place. He dances in his basement, adorned with black trunks and bright red boxing gloves, abusing a punching bag as both physical exercise and mental determination.
‘Women, you give away the best you have to offer to assholes,’ James growls to an empty room as he continues to take out his frustrations on the bag. ‘When you are at your most energetic, most passionate, most trusting, most willing to open up and take risks – it is with men who use your innocence and spit you out as if you didn’t matter. You then close yourselves off from the world, from your men, and you demand that we understand, that we respect your past and honor your desire for a more boring life. The passion is gone, the fire is dead and the life has been drained away.’
James wouldn’t accept that.
Back at the Italian restaurant, holding Rachel’s hand. James is gentle, soothing, loving. He knows now how to play this game, and he does it well.
‘I am so glad you are willing to open up and try new things with me, Rachel. It makes me feel valued and trusted and loved.’
‘You’ll always protect me, James. I know that. You make me feel safe…’
No, Rachel, foolish girl. This is the game that everyone plays. I’ll get my wish and use you for my pleasure, then toss you aside when I am done with you. You’ll never be the same again. Oh, you’ll date and fall in love and probably get married and maybe even have kids…but you’ll never be willing to give yourself away to anyone as completely as you have given yourself away to me. Your innocence will be destroyed and your passion for romance and sex will be a small fraction of what it was.
‘I love you, Rachel,’ James says smoothly. ‘With all my heart.’
Rachel smiles back. ‘I love you, too, James.’
I will have won, and all of the men in your future will wonder about the man who defeated them.
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Betsy waded ashore. She had a large fish, which she held by its tail, slung over her shoulder nearly to her waist. It was flopping around, but she ignored its motions. Once away from the water, she dropped the fish on the sand and removed the rebreather from her back. Then she knelt down, and with her knife, filleted the fish. It didn’t take long for her to remove several nice fillets from the fish. She took a minute to wash the fish filets off in the ocean as well as return the innards to...
Mom came into my room in the morning. She got me up for school like she always did. Except she told me she had a surprise for me. Mom said that I should come straight home after school. I should have graduated from school the year before but I failed science and had to repeat the year. I was eighteen at the time and older most of my piers. Ever since my mother pleasured me orally. I thought of things a little differently. I wondered when it would happen again. Sometimes we could all be...
Tharin lunged at me, his foot work sure and true. My staff blocked it with ease but his strength jolted my wrist. I jabbed out at his partner and retreated a step, which I fumbled, my heel caught in an animal hole. It took all my effort to deflect Tharin's determined overhead sword swing, while Crum's swift swing at my leg was deflected at great cost to my balance, as I continued out of control using my momentum as an advantage, cracking him in the ribs with a twirling staff tip. "Hold!"...
Hi! My name is Lalit. I am 21 years old. In my family I have my mom, dad, me and my elder cousin brother, he stayed with my parents before I was born and we used to treat him like our own. So both my mom’s and dad’s family is very huge and likely, I have many cousins. We always used to hang out with each other every now and then. So every had a close relationship. My grandparents who lived in the same town as we are along with my mom’s brother and his wife. My grandfather’s younger brother...
IncestHaving learned sex felt best accompanied by the mind and heart, a challenging conquest promised greater rewards. As superficial as my fellow students, I failed to see the gorgeous girl hidden in shyness and self doubt. Tall and pale, with long unfettered black hair, she stood in front of English class and recited her poem. Most of the class recited old ballads or odes or a Coleridge dreamscape from memory. A couple students and I recited our own poems. Mine rhymed about a daydreaming boy in...
Chapter IXX “After the three of us regained our composure, Janice and Ginny made breakfast and we sat around the kitchen table eating while Randy and Ginny told us how they were having problems in their marriage too. They decided that they better do something about it before it was too late and their marriage fell apart. Ginny told us that before they were married she was a dancer at a nightclub downtown and that’s where she and Randy first met. The story goes that he came in one night...
After our encounter with Tara and Charlene, I had a feeling Sheri was going to keep exploring. We were getting on the bus to go home the following morning. I was up early, so I went down to the beach one last time. Sheri saw me from her balcony and blew me a kiss. I did the same and headed back to my room to get my stuff. I got on the bus and found my seat near the back. I watched out the window as Sheri, Charlene, Tara, and a junior named Heather were headed to the bus together. That was odd...
The long night of sex with the four younger studs, in front of her son, had been a terrific and exhausting experience: she had been drained of all her energies like never before in her life. The woman raised herself from the bed and took few steps in the room to the mirror; bags around her eyes and some love bites on her breast sides proved the heavy treatment from her captors, but her appearance, on the whole, still looked great; and this was certainly due to her resilient and well exercised...
Let me first preface this story by saying that my wife and I have a wonderful sex life. She is every man’s dream partner. She has an incredible body for a woman of forty who will watch porn at a drop of a hat. She allows me to look at women on the internet and will occasionally join me in one of my many masturbating events, by either stroking my dick or lie next to me and masturbate to what I am. She is a dream come true always giving me more then I ever want. She is also a wonderful mother to...
MasturbationIn Which Innocence is found in work and in work is found revived passion. Innocence had achieved her independence: she had at last found a bedsit and a job that paid well enough for her to afford the rent. Honore had loaned her the money necessary to pay the deposit on her new home, but she hoped that with overtime she’d be able to repay her eventually. It was a very small bedsit – much smaller than what she’d been accustomed to in Labia or Wonderground – but at least when she shut the front...
Derek leaned forward on the edge of the couch cushion, his tongue between his teeth as he focused on the television in front of him. His fingers worked the controller he held in his hand and, on-screen, his character shouted as she kicked and punched. "Man, Chun-Li is cheap," Steven said. "Fuck. You." Derek answered. He glanced at his friend for a moment before unleashing a combo that brought Steven's character down to a sliver of health. The two young men sat at opposite ends...
Ellie's finger paused on the send button. Should she press it? She looked over the message again. "I liked your hair today. It suits you." She chewed her lip. Innocent enough, right? She wasn't sure what impression she was giving. She wasn't sure what kind of impression she wanted to give. She could hear her boyfriend in the other room, swearing at his laptop. Gaming again. She couldn't remember the last time he'd seemed that animated about her. She flicked her gaze to the photo on the...
What If: Whence Came the Spider by Bill Hart For those of you who know me not, I am Uatu. But to those select few of you, who reside upon the aqua blue gem known as, and named, simply Earth, which circles a small yellow star they call Sol, I am known more simply as - the Watcher. And yet, Watcher is less an appellation than it is the generic functionality of my entire race. From my secret base, whose exact location is known only to those select few humans outside my ancient...
The next morning when we woke up, we were not cuddling, but were both close enough to each other that you could tell we were in love. We weren't on top of each other, but all I had to do was reach out and there she was. I hope you understand. I got up and tried not to wake my love. I went to the bathroom after putting on my boxers and luckily mom and dad were already downstairs. I went ahead and brushed my teeth then threw on comfy pants, shirt and some slipper. "Good morning mom." I...
Dedicated to my friend Eric R. Todd was the happiest man on the block. Maybe the happiest in the entire development, or for that matter how about the state? That was certainly possible. He looked over at Claire, asleep in the watery moonlight. A full moon hung near the horizon, its lower limb just grazing the top of the slat fence surrounding her back yard. Todd half-expected, half-wished for a tomcat ambling across moon's the white face. That would make things perfect. Todd was 36 years...
It started out like a lot of other Saturday afternoons. There was a game on the television, my beautiful wife napping in the sun on the couch in front of the big picture window and me on the computer catching up on a few emails. Then, things took a little bit of an unexpected turn. Just as I was about to sign off, a chat window popped up from a screen name I didn't recognize — IslandGirl. Normally, I would have just ignored it and finished shutting down, but with nothing else really going on...
Hi, ISS readers I am Parvathi a Malayalee teenager I am a regular reader of ISS stories and I like to start a new new category in ISS please enjoy my story and send me feedback to write next story let me discribe about my self I am Parvathi an MBBS student doing first year classes and since I was very sad because of moving from my home for studies and after two three days of beginning. I got lot of good boys and girl friends every one was very much fond of scientific thoughts in medicine as we...
“He did what?”“He ate my ass!”Red sat there unable to comprehend her best friend for a moment. Then she shook her head. “You’re kidding me?”“Fuck no, Red. It was great. You know we’ve fucked for the first time last weekend, but last night he went down on me like he was a starving man.”“Damn, I wish my husband would do that,” said Red wistfully.Kat gave her friend a sad smile. Ever since Red tied the knot, Kat’s been listening to a litany of her husband’s failures in bed. It was a shame because...
Anal