The Sexual Frustration Act 1768 free porn video

THE SEXUAL FRUSTRATION ACT 1768
THE PROLOGUE

England mid 18th century was a lawless place, marauding bands of demobbed troops roamed the streets fighting all and sundry. Women were out of control, many spending time in the branks, which did not seem to deter their offensive behaviour. Pub fights were routine and **** a common offence. No one appeared happy and all appeared irritable.

This was not the sort of England that Farmer George wanted to reign over. Thomas Hobbes’s works on the social contract had been studied, as had Rene Descartes’s and Immanuel Kant’s. But they did not contain the answer, something was inherently wrong with the common man – he did not comprehend what his part of the social contract was, after all Durkheim and sociology had not yet happened; The common man saw no advantage to himself in honouring a contract that was heavily biased in favour of the upper gentrified classes.

Even among the upper classes all was not well, there was much profligacy and v******e, and even duchesses had been known to lose their temper. Even both houses of Parliament seemed to spend all their time bickering. However there was a glimmer of hope as it had been reported to the king that two groups of people did appear perfectly content with life:-

The first group were known as the “Hellfire club”, a movement recently formed (1755) by Sir Francis Dashwood, though it was rumoured that he had got the idea from a similar venture he had come across in Dublin. The club motto Fay ce que voudras (‘Do as thou shalt wish’) appeared to be the key to the contentment of the members. What they had achieved was to do away with any moral hang-ups concerning the sexual use of women – to them it was not only socially acceptable but desirable that women could be used as man’s play things. The king interviewed some of the members and found them to be the least frustrated people he had ever come across.

The second group were followers of a young French Comte (born 1740) by the name of Donatien Sade. His followers, though few in number in England, were a more secretive group than the Hellfire club. They had a similar philosophy to the Hellfire club motto but went one stage further in taking delight in the misfortunes of women subjected to cruelty, pain and humiliation: In this manner Sade’s followers achieved sexual gratification. To keep themselves secretive they had adopted the practice of keeping their own female sex slaves for use among the followers, thus not attracting too much publicity. Again, the king had managed an audience with one of Sade’s followers, and again found him to be a most satisfied and contented fellow.

Farmer George eventually put two and two together and in the year 1763 commissioned a Royal inquiry to ascertain if the frustrations of the general public could be alleviated by conducting themselves in the manner of Dashwood and/or Sade: And, if so, could such behaviour be codified into a working law.



1765 – The Royal inquiry was completed and the commission reported to the king. The finding was enequivocal, the problem was SEXUAL FRUSTRATION. The mores of the day had led to both men and women suffering serious sexual hang-ups, which left unrequited, had over-spilled into public and domestic v******e.

It was noted that all the existing statutory laws regarding sexual activity were a list of things one was not allowed to do; It was only the common law that allowed a man his conjugal rights within the bounds of the state of holy matrimony, but, even here, there was nothing to offer sexual relief to the female.

Recommendation – A new law, that, whilst not replacing the existing negative laws, would in certain areas override the negative laws, to the extent that both men AND women, who satisfied certain criteria, be given legal rights to relieve sexual frustration. The King endorsed this recommendation and invited Parliament to make the necessary enactments.

Thus the SEXUAL FRUSTRATION ACT 1768 came into being; England was now internally at peace with itself. And any collective frustrations of the country, as a whole, could be vented by wars with the French.





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THE STATUTORY ACT
(21 & 22 Geo III 35)

An Act to make provision to reduce pussy and dick frustration; To ensure in as much as possible that all sexually aroused pussies are given the freedom to be orgasmed in their own right regardless of the will of the person to whom they are attached; and for purposes connected with the aforesaid purposes. [6th November 1768]

Be it enacted by the King’s most Excellent Majesty, by and with the advice and consent of the Lords Spiritual and Temporal, and Commons, in this present Parliament assembled, and by the authority of the same as follows:-

PART 1

WET PUSSY

1. The Offence - It shall be an offence for any female of legally sexually active age to have a wet pussy.

2. Discovery - Any male over the age of eighteen years shall have the right to demand a legally sexually active female to submit to a wet pussy inspection, where –

(a) Inspection shall be by the insertion of at least one finger up to the knuckle into the vaginal passage; and

(b) This may take place at any time and in any place at the male’s pleasure; and

(c) There is no need to prove prior suspicion of a wet pussy.

3. Wet Pussy - On discovery of a wet pussy the offending female shall be subjected to immediate penetration of the pussy by an erect dick; and

(a) Penetration is to be continued until the male is satisfied that; the pussy has been orgasmed; and

(b) all source of wetness has been eliminated; and

(c) that there is no risk of any immediate resumption of wetness; and

(d) the female shall be given a certificate to exempt her from any further wet pussy inspection for a period of eight hours.

4. Female failing to comply - Any female, subject of this Act, who fails to comply, immediately, with an order to be checked for pussy wetness shall be guilty of an offence punishable by;

(a) For a first refusal, to not exceeding three open hand smacks to the bared offending pussy; and

(b) If continued refusal the male, and/or his aids, may use sufficient force as is necessary to restrain the female, and she shall be subjected to not exceeding a further six open hand smacks to the offending pussy; and

(c) Any failure to accept the wet pussy penalty, and allow the successful orgasming of the pussy and relief of sexual pussy frustration shall result in the female being restrained until such time as the law is complied with; and

(d) She shall also be subject to a corrective punishment of not exceeding six strokes of the cane administered to the bare buttocks; and

(e) Any such punishment is to be at the discretion of the male, subject to the legal maximums.

5. Male failing to comply – Any male who has relied upon this enactment to examine a female, and having discovered a wet pussy, then fails to carry out a correct dewetting and orgasming of the pussy shall result in a financial penalty to himself of not exceeding 2/6, subject to right of appeal.

6. Use of devices - (e.g., Chastity belts, Labial rings with padlocks, Split pears etc) - The use by the female of any device designed to frustrate either the discovery of pussy wetness or prevent the punishment for having a wet pussy, whether mechanical or otherwise and whether fitted internally or externally, shall be an offence; and

(a) Any female discovered to be fitted with any such device may be summarily arrested without warrant by the discovering male, taken to a police station, where, at the expense of the female, the said device will be removed, by force, if necessary; but

(b) If applicable the male may, if feasible, remove the offending device in situ, using any necessary force to restrain the female to allow compliance with the law; and

(c) Any female caught wearing such a device shall be further punished by ten strokes of the cane administered to the bare buttocks.

7. The Swollen Clitoris - Any female of legally sexually active age who is found with a swollen sexually engorged clitoris, but not having a wet pussy, shall be deemed subject to the provisions of this Act as if she had a wet pussy; and

(a) The male shall stimulate the clitoris until such time as the state of wet pussy is achieved; and

(b) The male may use whatever means he deems fit in order to stimulate the clitoris; and

(c) It shall not matter if the female achieves clitoral orgasm or not.

8. Nipples – On not finding a wet pussy or engorged clitoris, but on finding nipples suspected of being sexually erect or aroused, the male may stimulate the said nipples for a period not exceeding two minutes and then be entitled to check again for pussy wetness or engorged clitoris. If there is still no sign of wet pussy or engorged clitoris the male shall desist from any further inspection.

9. Interpretation –
i. A pussy, also known as the female cunt, shall be deemed wet if the inspecting finger or fingers have encountered any dampness from whatever cause.

ii. A clitoris shall be considered sexually aroused at the discretion of the male by relying on his experience and aided by such facts as - was it engorged with blood? Was it sticking out proud of its hood? Had the labia parted to expose it? Where the labia swollen and engorged? Was it sensitive and sexually responsive? Etc..

iii. Aroused nipples are on the suspicion of the male, the two minute stimulation rule will confirm the suspicion one way or the other.

CASE LAW:-

Miss Devine v Mr Limpalot 1769. Plaintiff claimed that defendant, having found the plaintiff in a state of pussy wetness, had failed to raise an erection and that he appeared intoxicated. Defendant duly fined 2/6 and ordered to pay pussy damages of £2000 to plaintiff

Miss Rampant v Mr Onanist 1770. Plaintiff claimed that defendant masturbated himself whilst carrying out the wet pussy inspection, prematurely ejaculated and failed to relieve her cause of pussy wetness. Case proved – Defendant duly fined 2/6 and ordered to pay £2500 in pussy damages to plaintiff.

(it should be noted from these early cases that a male could not rely on the wet pussy law merely to satisfy his own cravings and if this was the case the damages awarded would be sufficiently punitive as to deter this unwanted behaviour – the spirit of the Wet Pussy Act was to alleviate pussy frustration and whilst giving males power over females to achieve this purpose it also placed an onerous burden on the male using this law)

R v Mr Unsharing 1771. The defendant had forced his fiancée to wear a padlocked heavy duty leather chastity belt equipped with a split pear and anal plug. The device, at the police station, was forcibly removed from the fiancée so that she could be checked for pussy wetness, but she was not punished – the defendant electing to carry all culpability was sentenced to total emasculation so that he would never be a menace to other women again.

R v Miss Neverhadit 1772. Claimed she wanted to keep her virginity. Dismissed – the fact that she had a wet pussy told a different story.

R v Miss Strumpet 1847. Claimed that her master had banned her from touching her pussy, consequently she was caught with a piss wet pussy and subjected to the wet pussy law. Dismissed - the wet pussy law applies, it matters not as to the cause of wetness .

R v Ms Harlet 1912. Claimed she did not have sufficient time to dry herself properly internally after taking a bath. Dismissed – the wet pussy law applies as this was a matter of public concern it would invalidate the law if allowed. The judges went on to say that the same would apply to showers, douches, bidets, females banned from touching their pussies etc.

R v Mrs Cuckold 1938. Claimed she had dildoed herself to orgasm and her pussy was subsequently orgasmed and satisfied but still internally wet. Dismissed – wet pussy law applies – the pussy was still wet and so obviously not entirely satisfied and in need of the wet pussy law. Judges went on to say that any method of self satisfaction that left the pussy wet would allow the pussy to be subject to the wet pussy law.

R v Miss Wanton 1953. Claimed she had an over aroused pussy that was always wet and it was getting sore from the constant application of the wet pussy law. Dismissed - Judges decided that she should have obtained a medical certificate restricting the use of her pussy.

R v Mr Pervert 1954. Defendant used phallus shaped ebony rod to check for wet pussy. Held that the use of an instrument was not considered in the drafting of the enactment that specifically referred to inspection by one or more fingers. Hence, Defendant could not rely on the Wet Pussy Act for any sexual offences committed, if any committed (in line with early decisions).

R v Ms Dyke 1969. Claimed to be a lesbian and not capable of deriving sexual satisfaction from a male. Dismissed - Lesbianism is not an exception – every wet pussy has the right to proper orgasm regardless of the sexual preference of the person to whom it is attached. Same would apply to any female who liked anal sex or any other perverse sexual orientation..

R v Miss Virtue 1974. Claimed she had been forcibly aroused. The pussy must have enjoyed it to have got wet – case dismissed, the need of the wet pussy is paramount. But, obiter dicta, claim may be allowed if she could prove an external wetting agent had been forcibly introduced to give artificial impression of sexually aroused wet pussy.


PART 2

THE ERECT DICK

10. Remedial relief - Any male over the age of eighteen years on finding himself with an erect sexually aroused dick is entitled by this Act to be sexually relieved by any female of legally sexually active age; and

(a) No such female, on being shown such an erect dick, shall deny the male his relief; but

(b) The female shall be entitled to choose the manner in which she administers the relief, but she must provide the sexual relief through her own manipulation and not through the use of any device; and

(c) The male, at his request, shall be entitled to have the female provide him with oral sexual stimulation as part of his sexual relief, But not as a whole unless such is chosen by the female; and

(d) The male shall then give the female a certificate to exempt her from any further erect dick requirements for a period of twenty four hours.

11. Effect of Part 2 on Part I - Nothing in Part 2 shall have any forbearance on Part I. Such that if, through fingering the female’s pussy, the male encounters a wet pussy then the obligations of Part I are effective on both male and female.

12. Female failure - Any female, to which Section 10 applies, shall commit an offence if she in any way fails to give the required relief that has been asked of her; and

(a) Once the female has determined how she will administer relief, the male is entitled to use whatever force or restraint is necessary to effect such compliance with the law without warrant; and

(b) If the female refuses to determine the manner of providing such relief, then the male shall determine it for her and continue accordingly; and

(c) A female who has committed any such offence may be further punished at the discretion of the male by being “pussy whipped” on the exposed pussy by not in excess of twelve strokes.




CASE LAW

R v Mrs Hoare 1769. Defendant, with the help of a pimp, had forced Mr X to pay on a tariff for the relief of erect dick services that she had provided. Held, the spirit of the legislation was to allow free sexual relief and do away with pimps controlling working females – the charging for the services had amounted to a refusal to comply with the spirit of the act, However, the defendant had acted under the duress of her pimp and so would not be punished – a warrant was issued for the arrest of the pimp so he could be sentenced to emasculation.

R v Miss Refusenik 1792. Mr X, having duly examined the defendant for a wet pussy, and found her not to have one, did, by this examination, induce in himself an erect dick. Held Mr X was then entitled to rely on the erect dick provision as to acquiring his own sexual relief from the defendant, who was held to have unlawfully refused to give Mr X his legally required relief.

Miss Harlot v Mr Notinthere 1804. The plaintiff, having willingly subjected herself to satisfying an erect dick, herself became aroused. The Defendant had fingered her pussy, which, although not wet initially, was latently found to be suffering from pussy wetness. The defendant had insisted that the plaintiff masturbate him to orgasm whilst he had continued to finger her pussy to orgasm. Held for the plaintiff, her pussy was entitled to dick penetration and an orgasm from penile penetration as per the wet pussy provision – awarded pussy damages of £1500. (nb If Defendant had not fingered the plaintiff’s pussy he would not have been in breach of the wet pussy obligations)

R v Miss Juicylucy 1812. Recent sexual activity is not an excuse for failure to provide a male with his legal entitlement to sexual relief through penile orgasm. (But note provisions relating to a holder of a recent use certificate).

R v Mrs Prim 1830. Being late for a life or death appointment is not an excuse for failure to stop and give sexual relief. Females should be aware of this eventuality and practice speedy ways of providing relief – also the same would apply under the wet pussy checking requirements.

R v Dr and Mrs Charlatan 1831. The Defendant Mrs Charlatan, a stunning social beauty with a delicate cunt, declared herself to be diseased and cited her doctor husband to corroborate the fact. The defendant Dr Charlatan did on numerous occasions corroborate his wife’s diseased condition. Acting on information received from a close confidante of the family the Secretary of State for Sexual Affairs had ordered Mrs Charlatan to be detained and examined by two independent medical men – both of whom found no evidence of any disease either past or present. Mrs Charlatan was ordered to be punished for a proven ten counts of refusal to relieve an erect dick, six counts of refusal to submit to wet pussy inspection (to run consecutive) and to be branded a Kinkybitch as she had wantonly teased men to distraction. Dr Charlatan to be struck off the medical register, to be placed in the public stocks and to have his balls whipped by twenty five lashes of the scourge.

R v Miss Puta et al 1840.Court asked to review certain matters relating to “Certificates of use” Held as follows. 1. If the female loses her certificate she is not entitled to ask the male for a duplicate and she is available for use; 2. If there is not available an official certificate, then any thing will suffice provided it indicates by whom, to whom, where, when and what use occurred and is signed by the male; 3. If the male fails to give the female any such certificate of use he shall be liable for all pussy damages incurred as a result of the female’s further use; 4. The female may also carry the certificates and fill it in, provided it is signed by the male.

Miss Lovelace v Col.Greedy 1919. When a female has agreed to provide relief the male can not enforce that she give oral sex to completion, only that it be part of the service.

R v Sgt.Pissenlit 1934. A piss proud dick is not a sexually aroused dick, as such, on the Defendant’s return from urinating he could not claim relief under this provision.


PART 3

RELIEF OF OTHER FRUSTRATIONS

13. The Kinkybitch - On encountering a Kinkybitch any male over thirty years of age may demand of her to perform or endure any sexual perversion of his choosing; provided:-

(a) The same does not involve any disgusting behaviour; and

(b) The use of the Kinkybitch does not cause any permanent scarring, marking or disfigurement to the Kinkybitch, except with her freely given written consent; and

(c) That, should the Kinkybitch demand it, she be given, not only her entitlement to a wet pussy orgasm, but an additional orgasm of her choosing for every different perversion she performs or endures; and

(d) The continuance of the sexual perversion does not exceed three hours in duration, unless the Kinkybitch agrees willingly in writing to extend the time, and she is not to be used for more than twelve hours in any one day and never on a Sunday. The male is to provide the female with a certificate of use.

14. Interpretation -

(a) The Kinkybitch will have the letters “KB” tattooed or branded high on her left bosom and kept exposed for all to see.

The earning of the “KB” tattoo or brand may derive from one or more of the following:-

i. Self determined. (Tattoo)
ii. Applied by her master/owner/keeper etc. (Tattoo)
iii. Forcibly applied by order of a Judge in Chambers on his being satisfied as to the laying of evidence, and examination, as to her promiscuity or any wanton lascivious behaviour in public or private. (“KB” brand on bosom, Judge’s initials branded on left buttock)

(b) Sexual perversion is within the parameters of the male demanding such service for his sexual relief, not withstanding his entitlement to erect dick relief under Part 2. By way of guide lines only it is envisaged that demands will be along the following lines:- Sadomasochism, bondage, full oral sex, anal sex, golden shower games, dressing up fetishes, urtication, putting on lesbian shows, gang bangs, use of instruments to explore body cavities, use of clips/plugs/weights pegs, use of ice/candle wax, etc.

(c) Disgusting behaviour will include the following:- a****ls, females of a non legal age, the use of females not otherwise useable than under this enactment, the performing of any act of coprophilia or n*********a, or any male on male activity, and any other activity for the time being determined by the Secretary of state for sexual affairs.

15. Offences -

i. Any failure to display the “KB” marking shall be an offence punishable as follows:- First offence = a further “KB” marking on the right bosom and a “pussy whipping” in private of ten strokes. Second offence = a further “KB” on the right buttock and a “pussy whipping” in public of fifteen strokes. Further offences to be dealt with by a Judge in Chambers with unlimited power to order any form of sexually humiliating punishment in public.

ii. The removal or attempted removal of all or any part of a “KB” mark shall be an offence punishable by having the full word “Kinkybitch” branded across the mons veneris, the reinstatement and repair to any damaged “KB” marks and being placed naked in the public stocks where all and sundry may be invited to cane her private parts and buttocks, at not exceeding three strokes per person for a period of time as determined by a Judge in Chambers.

iii. Any failure to comply with the demands made of her as a “Kinkybitch” shall be punished as follows:- The male demanding such service shall be entitled with or without the help of aids to restrain the Kinkybitch and carry out his perversions in addition to being required by law to administer twenty of the hardest “pussy whipping” or “cunt strapping” strokes he can muster regardless of any damage caused. In addition, a Kinkybitch subject of branding, may be returned to a Judge in Chambers with unlimited
power to order any form of sexually humiliating punishment in public.

16. Powers –

i. Any male over thirty years of age may lay information before a Judge in Chambers as to the consideration of any female for branding as a Kinkybitch. On satisfaction as to the evidence the judge may issue a warrant to the police authorising the arrest and bringing before him of the intended Kinkybitch to answer to examination.

ii. Any Policeman may upon witnessing any female commit any act in public that he deems outrageously and overtly sexually promiscuous may without warrant arrest such a female and take them and lay the evidence before a Judge in Chambers.

iii. Any Male over thirty years of age may arrest without warrant a Kinkybitch committing any offence under this act and convey her to a Police Station equipped for the purposes of dealing with malefacting Kinkybitchs. The arresting male may at his choosing, and within the requirements of Section 15, then administer the punishment or elect for the police to do so.

17. Exception - Any female, in possession of a current sex slave certificate clearly stating who her master/masters is/are AND that any display of sexual indecency was done in the course of her duties as a sex slave, shall be exempt from consideration as a Kinkybitch.

18. Overseer – The Secretary of State for Sexual Affairs shall appoint an overseer of Kinkybitchs to ensure, as a matter of public policy, that there is always a sufficient number of Kinkybitchs to satisfy the predelictions of the male population, and thereby ensure the safety of decent sexually law abiding females; and

The overseer will correlate the judges to ensure a uniform standard by which a Kinkybitch is determined; and

The overseer may raise or lower this standard according to the needs or politics of the time.



CASE LAW

R v Miss Cantholdit 1788. The defendant,a branded Kinkybitch, duly restrained for a bondage session had pissed herself without permission. Held that a positive act done without permission or against orders was to be construed as the same as failing to act or the carrying out of a negative act. Returned to Judge in Chambers for sentencing.

R v Miss Goldenshower 1802. Having recently gone to the ladies room, the defendant was unable to pee on demand. Dismissed – the Kinkybitch should have anticipated and allowed for all and any demands made of her, and as such she could be punished.

R v Miss Abused 1830. Defendant claimed she had been i*****lly marked with the “KB” by her enemies and as such she was going to be unlawfully punished. Dismissed – The male using her as a Kinkybitch did so in all innocence as to her true identity: It was encumbent on her to apply to a court to have the allegation proved and the mark erased = she had been lawfully restrained and used, and could be lawfully punished..

R v Miss G****d 1843. Defendant claimed that she had been used by six males all at the same time continuously over a period of three hours, later the same day she was expected to perform again but refused stating that she had already endured 18 man hours of sexual activity. Case dismissed, regardless of how many males had used her during the session, the session, itself, had only lasted three hours in duration and so she was available for a further nine hours of Kinkybitch duty.

Miss Rogered v The Duke of Burlingham 1928. Plaintiff claimed she had been detained beyond the three hours. Defendant satisfied the court that the plaintiff had indeed been detained for five hours, But that two of those hours had been taken up by having to restrain her and punish her, and that only three hours had been used in enduring the defendant’s perversions. Case dismissed.

R v Miss D. Mondaine 1930. The Crown sought further punishment, The defendant, a branded Kinkybitch, having been given her legal minimum requirement of orgasms, was told as part of the male’s perversion not to have any more orgasms. The defendant failed to control herself and continued to have both anal and vaginal orgasms. At the time she was placed in spreader bars and her pussy duly whipped for twenty strokes. Defendant argued that continued orgasms had been a positive involuntary action and she should not have been punished or face any further punishment. Defence dismissed - defendant ordered to be taken to a judge in chambers for further punishment. Judge in Chambers ordered that she be restrained for a twenty four hour period with an electrode crocodile clip attached to her clitoris and an electrode nine inch steel torpedo placed into her vaginal passage followed by a further twenty four hours with torpedo inserted into her anus, And sufficient electric shocks to be administered not to allow the defendant to feint.

Mrs Klondike v Mr Egotist 1943. Plaintiff successfully demonstrated to the court that she had tied up the defendant and performed acts on him to his successful sexual relief, but that she had not been afforded likewise. Court held that defendant had been in breach of his lawful use of a Kinkybitch and awarded the plaintiff £3000 damages.

R v Miss Stubborn 1953. The defendant, as the holder of both a left and right bosom tattoo, was seen by a policeman to be displaying only one “KB” mark on the left bosom thus giving the impression that she had only been marked once. Held all bosom “KB” marks must be displayed = She could be punished accordingly for failure to display. Court also ruled that a Kinkybitch was not required to display any buttock markings in public.

Miss Spreadout Judicial review 1965. Appellant asked for judicial review as to extent of unlimited powers of a Judge in Chambers. The Appellant, a branded Kinkybitch had refused anal sex to a well endowed male and been brought before the Judge. Her punishment had been to have here labia multi pierced and ringed, her clitoris pierced and ringed, her nipples pierced and ringed; She was then stretched out, in a public park, and tied between four stakes holding her three feet above the ground and face down naked, Heavy weights had been suspended from all the rings and a heavy duty policeman’s night stick had been forcibly introduced into her anus and tied in place, her mouth had been held open by a jaw breaking separator ring, a plug had been forced into her pee hole, and finally a sign had been placed next to her explaining her predicament and inviting any male to use her cunt and/or mouth and have free use of administering the cane to her buttocks; She was left in this manner for 24hrs after which she could only be released once she had begged to be fist fucked in the anus and once duly done to everyone’s satisfaction she was released. Held to be a suitable punishment for a branded Kinkybitch and well within the powers of the sentencing judge. One review judge thought it rather mild and said that he would have introduced electrodes to the ringed piercings to give an added jolt!

Ms Cuntout on appeal 1968. The appellant had been seen by her local vicar leaving a late night refreshment house walking home along the public highway wearing a see through top with no bra and a short mini skirt such that her knickers were exposed. This information had been laid before a Judge in Chambers who found her to be a Kinkybitch, the appellant had stated by way of defence that she had lost her full length coat that she should have worn home that night (in fact she later proved the informing vicar had stolen the said coat to force just such an outcome). Despite her defence, which on its own may have exonerated her, it was held from reading the transcript of her examination by the Judge in Chambers that she was, in any case a wanton slut in private who did not always hide this sexuality in public. Appeal dismissed.










SCHEDULE ONE

Concerning married women – Married women are not exempt from any parts of this enactment. If, there husbands do not wish them to have to partake in extra marital sexual activity, then there husbands must ensure that their wives do not go out into the private or public world with a wet pussy or swollen clitoris; And, in order to avoid any confusion as to be liable for consideration as a Kinkybitch, their husbands obtain the necessary sex slave certificates. A married woman’s wet pussy is just as entitled to have an orgasm as an unmarried woman’s. Married women are not exempt from providing sexual relief to an erect dick.

Concerning Health – Any male, wishing to avail himself of any of the provisions contained in this enactment, shall have a medical certificate giving him a clean bill of sexual health; Such certificate to be less than a month old; And
he shall produce it on demand to any female so desiring to see it prior to any sexual act taking place with that female; and
Without such a certificate the male could not rely on the provisions of this enactment to override any offences contained in other Sexual offences Acts.

Concerning Pregnancy – The male, if he so chooses, may wear or use any barrier method of contraception; But it is the responsibility of the female to ensure that she is fitted with a contraceptive device. Should an unwanted pregnancy occur, the female will have no recourse or expectation of support from the inseminating male.

i****t – None of the provisions contained in this enactment shall in any way override the law contained in S.10 of The Sexual Offences Act 1726 appertaining to i****tuous relationships.

Forms – Certificates of use, Consent forms and sex slave certificates are available at most police stations, or may be obtained by writing to the Ministry for Sexual Affairs, 12 Downing Street, London.

Courts – In order to avoid duplication of actions it is provided that a prosecution brought in the criminal court shall be subject to consideration for civil damages; And an action brought in the civil court shall be subject to consideration for criminal sentencing and punishment.


SCHEDULE TWO

Exceptions - The following females are exempted from the provisions of this enactment:-

i. Any female carrying a doctor’s note clearly stating that she has a medical condition that, either

(a) causes non-sexual wetness of the pussy, Or
(b) is infected in some way that does not require any further questioning as to sexual pussy wetness, Or
(c) she is pregnant at a stage that could cause injury to her or the unborn c***d.

ii. The menstruating female; But she shall not be exempt of the Discovery provisions contained in S. 2 of the Act.

Infected Female – Any female who is infected, or knowingly carrying any sexually transmitable desease, shall declare such a state immediately and supply the name and address of her corroborating doctor.

SCHEDULE THREE

Inchoate Offences – Any person of a legally responsible age who shall aid, abet, council or procure any female to commit an offence within the enactment shall themselves be guilty of an offence; And

Any male guilty of such an offence shall be sentenced to the public stocks there to receive not exceeding thirty lashes of the scourge administered to his testicles and/or emasculation.

Any female guilty of such an offence shall be sentenced to the public stocks there to receive not exceeding thirty lashes of the scourge administered in equal proportion between the breasts and cunt and/or to suffer clitorectomy.

SEXUAL EQUALITY ACT 1994

(3 & 4 Er II 46)

The following provisions add to, repeal or amend the Sexual Frustration Act 1768:-

132. Nymphomania – Any female of legally sexually active age, who is not a Kinkybitch, May apply to the Licensing Magistrates to have herself declared a nymphomaniac; and

Having been successfully examined and found to be such, she shall be granted a Nymphomania Licence, renewable every year; and

The holder of a nymphomania licence shall be exempted from any attempt to make her a Kinkybitch.

133. Powers – The holder of a nymphomania licence may require any male over eighteen years of age to sexually satisfy her in the manner of her choosing, not withstanding any legal obligations subject to the provisions of the wet pussy and erect dick enactments; and

(a) She shall produce her licence on demand to such a male; and

(b) The act shall not be one of a disgusting behaviour as defined in the Kinkybitch provision; but

(c) She shall be entitled to a minimum of one penile orgasm per male per session to a maximum as allowed by the male; and

(d) No session shall last longer than two hours, unless the male agrees in writing; and

(e) No male shall be required to perform under this enactment for more than two sessions per day and never on a Sunday; and

(f) The female shall give the male a certificate of performance

134. Offence by Male – It shall be an offence for the male to fail to satisfy the holder of a nymphomania licence with the exception of a male producing a valid doctor’s certificate to state that he has an erectile dysfunction and/or a predisposing medical affliction, complaint or disease.

135. Homosexual defence – No Defence. Any failure due to actual or pretend homosexual tendencies shall be dealt with as a separate offence; And in addition to any other punishment the malefactor will be subjected to electric shock therapy until such time as it is determined that he is cured of his affliction.

136. Punishment – (i) Failure to give the female a penile orgasm shall be punished by the penis being made erect and then smacked with the broad side of a standard wooden ruler for not exceeding twelve strokes; and

(a) If such failure was due to premature ejaculation by the male then the strokes may be doubled; and

(b) If unable to achieve or maintain an erection for punishment then a five pound weight shall be attached to the penis and allowed to stretch it out to receive its punishment

(ii) Failure to satisfy the female in any other way shall lead to a punishment of not exceeding twelve strokes of the cane to the bare buttocks

(iii) The female may carry out any of these punishments herself or with aids, helpers, use of restraints or she may elect to have the matter dealt with officially as a criminal offence by the all female police force.

137. Offence by Female – Female will commit an offence if she pretends to be the holder of a current nymphomania licence, Or keeps any male for a session longer than is permitted, Or having been totally satisfied fraudulently claims lack of satisfaction as a malicious adventure to justify punishing the male, Or fails to give the male his certificate of performance; and

Any female found guilty of any such offence shall be publicly “pussy whipped” for not exceeding fifty strokes and/or publicly “breast canned” for not exceeding twenty five strokes, at the discretion of the aggrieved sitting with the examining magistrates.

138. Police – Where police are mentioned in any provisions of the Sexual Frustrations Act 1768, it shall be read that only officers from the all male police force may deal with females. And only officers from the all female police force may deal with males.

139. S.5 Sexual Frustrations Act 1768 - 2/6 shall be amended to “Not exceeding £500 and/or twelve strokes of the cane to his dick”

140. Forms – Application forms for a nymphomania licence may be obtained, for a fee of £10, from the Clerk to the Licensing Justices.

141. Health – Schedule One to be amended to read “male or female”, “him or her”, “he or she” and “female or male”

CASE LAW

Miss Rampant v Mr Ivehadenough 1996. Defendant complained that after one hour the plaintiff had already had several mind blowing multiple orgasms and indeed at one point had passed out with the magnitude of her satisfaction. Held: it was not up to the male to decide when the female was satisfied, provided she did not exceed the two hour duration, she was entitled to expect the male to keep satisfying her. Defendant taken to all female police station for punishment, and ordered to pay damages of £500.

R v Mr Pizartiste 1996. Intoxication due to the effects of alcohol or d**gs is no defence to failure to satisfy due to erectile dysfunction. Had the defendant been a registered alcoholic he could have applied for an exempting doctor’s certificate.

Miss Baglhaidy v Mr Limpdik 1996. The defendant claimed he had been unable to become sexually functional due to the old age and ugliness of the plaintiff. Held that the plaintiff was still the holder of a current nymphomania licence, And as such was entitled to all its benefits – Defendant ordered to pay “Nominal” damages of £2. (But could have also been subject to minimum punishment in the criminal court). Declared that, as a matter of public policy, an applicant for a nymphomania licence could only be examined for nymphomania, regardless of her age or looks.

R v Ms Slapper 1999. Defendant allowed her nymphomania licence to expire, but still showed wantonness and as such was a perfect candidate to be branded a Kinkybitch. It was up to the female on the expiry of the licence to show lack of wantonness and not for the prosecution to prove the opposite.

R v Messrs Brute and Ravage 2000. The defendants were invited to satisfy the holder of a nymphomania licence but continued to to force themselves upon the female beyond the bounds of what was required of them. Court held that even nymphomaniacs were entitled to the protection afforded women under the Sexual Offences Acts. Defendants ordered to be tried for offences of **** and gross indecency with a view to civil punitive damages and criminal sentencing. (Both later convicted 2002 and ordered to pay £20,000 in damages and serve five years each).

Miss Welloiled v Mr Tightarse 2002. Defendant claimed he had an abhorrence of all things anal and had refused to anally finger fuck the plaintiff, had refused to lick the plaintiff’s anus and had refused to anally fuck the plaintiff. Case upheld for the plaintiff and an undisclosed sum of civil damages was settled out of court. Defendant also ordered to all female police station for punishment.

Miss Petite v Capt. Fitton 2006. You take your male as you find him. Plaintiff, who had produced her nymphomania licence, did not allow any penile penetration and then complained that she had not been given her right of a penile orgasm. The defendant had not been able to get his massive manhood into the plaintiff’s pussy. Case dismissed.

Mr Knitelythrustin v Miss Gender-Bender 2008. Plaintiff complained that he had been unlawfully punished for failure to satisfy the wet pussy of the defendant’s friend. Held that, when there is a conflict of interest between a male’s duties to two or more females at the same time, then he shall only be expected to discharge his legal obligation to the initiating female. However, by way of obiter dicta, if the male had engaged the services of more than one female then he was obliged to carry out all legally expected duties. Plaintiff awarded undisclosed sum in compensation.

Mr Proudnknead v Ms Trollop 2008. Plaintiff laid complaint that his services had been engaged by the defendant, the holder of a nymphomania licence. Defendant had been satisfied, had reached the point of having a dry relieved pussy, and then refused to allow the plaintiff his erect dick relief. Held, plaintiff was entitled to his relief under the erect dick provision, and entitled to punish the defendant – awarded £10,000 damages. Defendant warned that any further breach of the use of her licence and it would be withdrawn, and she would be examined with a view to being branded a Kinkybitch.