A New Day, The Other Me Chapter 5 free porn video

I can hear the ladies waking up and moving around a little bit as I finally pull myself from bed. It’s been a better time than I expected as I head downstairs and hear a conversation I’m not supposed to.

“You screwed my brother,” Bethany says and I make myself invisible and quiet outside her room.

“No we had sex, geez you make it sound so juvenile. He has been lonely and horny the whole time we’ve been here and I figured since I got ‘screwed’ by Brandon I’d find out if the one that Jenna let slip was any good,” Lex states to the group, I assume it’s the group.

“Okay so you had sex with Jenna’s former puppy, Beth I don’t see what the problem is,” I think it’s Katheryn talking.

“He’s gonna think that you want a relationship or something. You don’t get how vulnerable he is,” Beth explains and I don’t know how to react to that.

On one hand she’s trying to care about my feelings and emotions and on the other she makes me sound pretty whiny. It’s a blessing and a curse all at once but I keep listening.

“Okay so someone slept with the black prince so my question is how was he,” Lela asks and now I’m interested.

“Enthusiastic, he made me feel wanted,” Lex says and I smile.

“All boys make a girl feel wanted during sex,” I hear Katheryn state and the girls chuckle.

“Yeah but before and after? Like all the way till he got out of bed this morning,” Lex clarifies and I smile at my good review,” Oh and he is nothing like Jenna’s Brandon.”

“Well yeah he’s white, they aren’t as big as a brother most of the time,” Lela states and now I’m on the edge of my seat, or socks.

“Yeah, had Brandon and Guy isn’t as big but not by much and Guy didn’t leave me hanging. Hell I had two hundred percent more orgasms with Guy than Brandon,” Lex clarifies and I’m smiling so loud I could alert the ladies that I’m listening in.

“Bullshit, he can’t be that good. He’s a near virgin,” Katheryn says in disbelief.

“Two orgasms to Brandon’s zero say otherwise but hey, don’t believe me if you want,” Lex says confidently,” Try him out if you dare but be prepared to be surprised.”

The girls keep their conversation going and eventually I simply leave as they discuss things other than me. I get breakfast in and bring some of my laundry down to Rosa who is glad to see me smiling. I didn’t realize I was but it feels good to smile and it’s about eleven in the morning when the girls begin to pack up and head off for home. I give Alexandra a little wave and watch as she drops her bag and jumps into my arms planting a big kiss on my lips. The girls must be stunned into silence as we finally break the kiss and I let her to the floor.

“That was for helping me get past Brandon. I owe you,” Lex says and considering what I heard earlier I smile.

“I’m gonna just say that we’re good… and thank you,” I keep it simple and watch her smile as she turns back to her squad.

The girls head out and I decide at Rosa’s request to take a shower since I smell like a combination of last night and this morning. Showering it good as it gives me a feeling of reset for my body. I’m not trying to wash away how I felt with Lex last night but I’m looking forward to new things for me and it’s nice to know I’m not the last person alive a girl would have sex with. Okay so I have more proof than Alexandra but not much and it is nice when someone who looks as good as she does take a little pity on me and walks away with more than she expected. I am scrubbing myself down when there is a knock at the bathroom door and now I’m confused and a little self conscious.

“Guy, one of Miss Bethany’s friends is back and I don’t know if I should let her in. She is very upset about something,” Rosa asks from the other side of the door through the crack.

“Rosa is my robe out there,” I ask as I look for it on the hook.

“No, it’s in the wash,” Rosa replies and I live for the fuck my life moments.

I get a towel wrapped around my waist and head down to the front door while mostly wet. I get it open to see Lela standing there with an angry look on her face; well it was angry before it morphed into shock.

“Hey Guy I left my phone here,” Lela says attempting to walk past me into the house.

“Excuse me but where do you think you are going,” I ask as I stop her.

“To find my phone,” Lela states like I’m going to let her wander around alone.

“Yeah that is going to have to wait till either Bethany gets home or I’m done with my shower,” I state my terms.

Unfortunately my terms are rendered moot as she slips past me and heads upstairs towards Beth’s room. I follow holding my towel and shrug to Rosa who gives me a confused look. I find Lela halfway under Beth’s bed staring at a very shapely ass in grey cotton workout pants that have never seen the inside of a gym. The yellow zip up hoodie and black tank top just add to the point that most people don’t wear workout clothes to work out. I clear my throat and her Lela groan.

“You could help me,” she asks as I admire the view.

“Yeah and you could wait till I was done with my shower,” I remark having still not fully rinsed off.

“Well finish your shower then,” Lela states coming out from under the bed.

“No because you’re rummaging around the house when I specifically said to wait,” I counter holding my ground.

“Shit it’s not there, could you call it with your phone,” Lela asks and I groan heading to my room to get my phone.

I find it on my dresser where it always is and turn to see Lela waiting impatiently. I wait for her to give me the number and apparently she doesn’t understand that.

“Your number,” I ask and she has to think.

“I don’t know it I don’t call myself. Just message me,” she says and I groan.

“I still need a number,” I retort becoming annoyed.

“No just message me on Facebook,” Lela says before turning to head back to Beth’s room.

“I shut down my account remember,” I am growing tired of this and so is she for different reasons.

“Just turn the shit back on and message me,” Lela states and I stop everything.

“No, I said wait and you didn’t listen. Now I’m standing here in a towel and nothing else with dried soap covering me instead of rinsing off because your phone is more important than everything else in the whole fucking world,” I get the words out and Lela just stands there confused as to why I’m mad.

“It’ll just take five minutes,” Lela says as I walk to back to my bathroom and hopefully the shower.

“Not worth my time,” I state as I walk away.

“Guy I just need help,” the black cheerleader says as I get to the door.

“Then you should have asked,” I say the words and see her thoughts forming,” No you didn’t ask, you barged in and when shit didn’t work out you kept dragging me into your problem.”

I get in the bathroom and close the door putting my phone on the counter and off with the towel and back in the shower. Scrubbing dried soap off and cleaning up again is not fun when I hear beeping of electronics and groan.

“Lela are you in the bathroom,” I ask in a groan.

“Yes, I need my phone,” I hear her respond and wash soap out of my eyes again.

“And you thought it would be in here,” I ask running water.

“No, I thought I could get into your phone but you have a password. Who the fuck has a password? Why don’t you have a pattern or something easy,” Lela asks grumpy.

“Because it’s not easy for nosy girls to figure out,” I reply rinsing my head.

I hear the shower screen pull back and rush to rinse my eyes and open them to see Lela naked and standing behind me in the shower. Her breasts are large, about as
big as Bethany’s near C cups but Lela’s are softer. Also her short pressed straight hair pull back with a clip on her head.

“What the hell are you doing,” I ask fighting the urge to get an erection.

“I want your password to find my phone,” Lela asks folding her arms under her breasts pushing them up.

“What? No my god you think just by coming in the shower naked I’m going to give you stuff,” I’m losing the erection war as I notice she had short curly pubic hairs.

“Yeah, most guys would too. Are you sure you ain’t gay because you haven’t tried shit since you saw my tits,” she asks curious.

“You said you weren’t interested since I’m white. That leads me to believe that I will get nothing other than a couple looks and a case of blue balls by giving you anything,” I state turning back to the shower, which hides the hard on.

I get about a second to myself before I feel Lela pressed against my back. She’s not as short as some of the other girls and when she whispers in my ear I can feel her breath.

“You help me get my phone and I’ll stroke this big cock of yours,” Lela almost purrs in my ear.

I feel her reach around my waist and what little restraint I had gives way as Lela uses one hand to rub me from base to head and back. I groan with her touch and attempt to relax as she takes her time bringing me to full mast. I rest my hands against the wall in front of me as Lela continues her work when a bug of a thought worms its way into my brain. I’m settling. Why am I settling? Because she’s giving me a hand job in the shower so I’ll do shit for her? I deserve more. I demand more.

“No,” I state pulling her hand off of me.

“But I was just getting you off,” Lela replies confused that I stopped her.

“No, I want more and frankly I think you should get something too,” I turn to face her and she’s confused and a little nervous.

“Wait a minute,” Lela moves to take a step back but it’s too late.

I grab her arm fast and force her back up against the wall, I have to move my body under her arm to trap her a little as my mouth finds her nipple and is suck hard. Quickly Lela uses her hands to try to pull my face away and that’s when I cup her pussy with my free hand and rub her slit with two fingers. Lela grunts in response to my touch but I’ve seen enough porn to realize that it will take a bit to for her to get into it and continue rubbing and sucking her body when finally she opens her legs more and I slide my fingers deeper and once I find the entrance to her pussy press my middle finger inside to the second knuckle. I suck and lick her nipple rough while pushing my finger in and out, I’ve not actually done this before but figure it is better to keep trying than quit. After a minute or so of rubbing Lela has shifted her legs further apart and instead of going slow I can move faster and add a second finger. I’ve taken my foreplay out of slow soft massage and moved into finger fucking as I slap the palm of my hand against Lela’s clit while the same hand’s fingers are pushing inside her. For her own part Lela is groaning and doing her best to remain standing using me and the flat wall for support. I feel her pussy clench up and instead of laying off I go for broke fingering her hole faster and harder which has Lela moaning or trying to talk in some form of gibberish when I’m treated with my first real squirt. I don’t mean she dribbled a little cum either, I feel a gush on my hand that surprises me enough to stop sucking her nipple and remove my fingers long enough to see the second long stream of clearish liquid come spraying out. I smile and look to Lela’s face only to see she’s half out of it in bliss and I decide what I want next.

“On your knees,” I tell Lela as she begins to come out of her orgasm daze.

“Okay but I need a minute,” she says as I turn her away from me and put her on the floor of the tub.

I don’t wait as I help her to her knees and push her forward and down so her ass is in the air. I don’t realize how hard I am till I’m rubbing a little soap on my cock but I’m definitely not needing any help as I’m lubed up. I don’t get on my knees behind Lela like she’s expecting, instead I lower myself over her ass squatting down and with a little hand guidance push the head of my cock against her asshole. She grunts and almost recoils away from me but I take her ass in my hands and push a little harder as I finally breach her asshole and get my cock head inside.

“Oh my fucking god you fucking shit head,” Lela grunts loudly with her face almost pressed against the base of the tub.

I push deeper and get about halfway into Lela’s ass when she arches her back and groans ‘fuck’ loudly. I go slowly working six of eight inches in and out of Lela’s ass as she groans and grunts every time I move in or out. It’s tight and if had not put soap on my dick for lube I’m thinking it would be a lot more difficult to impossible. I stop my moving to adjust my feet so I can move easier when Lela moves her ass up and back putting me inside her without me moving.

“Are you trying to tell me something,” I ask with an amused smirk.

“Yeah, I want to go to your room,” Lela grunts pushing into me again.

“What for,” I keep asking and this time I pull back a little.

“My knees are beginning to hurt and I want you to fuck me,” Lela groans moving back again.

I pull out and help Lela up from the tub floor where we rinse off a little and I cut the water. We dry off mostly and when she reaches for her clothes I stop her and pick them up myself. I receive and odd look but Lela quietly follows my non verbal instructions and walks, naked mind you, down the hall to my room as I follow her carrying her clothes and mine. We get into my room where I drop our clothes and close the door after us. Lela is already on my bed and laying on her back waiting, wrong position. I crawl onto my bed and flip her over a little rough and quick. She’s surprised at my more emboldened actions but I’m beginning to feel like I can take charge. Flat on her stomach Lela grabs a pillow and raises her ass up before putting it underneath her hips, not sure what that is supposed to do but not going to change it now as I straddle her ass pushing my cock back into her hole. She grunts a little this time as it’s not as much of a surprise and I being to pump in and out of her a little faster now that I am not going to possibly lose my balance and bust my head open. As I fuck Lela’s asshole I look at her beautiful brown skin, she’s got that medium brown complexion. I grip her hips with my hands and push into her harder looking to her hands which are gripping my blankets in tight fists and smile as I see them in her teeth as she bites down. I slow down taking it easy on her for a moment and reach up to her wrists with my hands gently holding her arms there before pulling them back slowly till they’re down by her side. I take it easy on her for a little bit before pulling back on her wrists making her back arch and I hear her yelp with the blanket in her teeth in surprise. I speed up my fucking of her asshole and pull on her wrists backing her into me. It’s hard, fast and when the blanket falls from her mouth and I am treated to the best thing I’ve heard come out of her mouth all weekend.

“This is the best fuck I’ve had in months,” she grunts as I pound her asshole.

“And it’s coming from a white boy who is up your nice black ass,” I argue with a smile.

“I wanna feel that dick cum all over my nice black ass,” Lela requests and I think I’ll give her this one.

She’s grabbing my wrists with her hands as I’m gripping hers as I fuck down and into her asshole. It’s getting rougher as I feel my orgasm coming on and when I let go of Lela’s wrists she collapses onto the bed and I pound her for about another minute before pulling out of her ass and shooting streams of cum all over her cheeks. I stroke myself a couple times to get it all out and feel really light headed before falling to my bed off to the side of Lela and catching my breath. We lay there breathing heavy when Lela begins to laugh a little and I chuckle with her but I don’t know why she’s laughing.

“Mind letting me in on the joke,” I ask calming my laughter.

“When we set out this weekend and most of us knew you were going to be here Bethany swore she would not ask any of us to fuck you. She’s really nervous about pissing you off but she didn’t want to have one of us ‘take one for her’ with you,” Lela explains and I chuckle again.

“How’s that plan working out,” I ask as a joke.

“I’m going to be a little sore for a bit,” she says and I give her an odd look,” You’re good sized and damn near perfect for anal sex. That’s one place where bigger isn’t always better.”

“Even if you’re in prison,” I say at the end and we both laugh hard.

Do I reactivate my Facebook, yes. Do we find her phone, yes but after a half hour more of searching after we cleaned up and dressed. I get a light punch in the arm from
Lela as she heads out in her medium sized hatchback off to home and return to the house where Rosa is giving me a look.

“Ms. Bethany won’t like you sleeping with her friends,” Rosa states and I nod.

“They could have said no,” I counter and she nods in agreement.

“No girlfriend from the little blonde,” Rosa asks as we head into the kitchen.

“I’m not her type yet I guess. Also I’m still finding myself, why bring a girl into that,” I think I’m being honest and polite but Rosa shakes her head.

“Don’t wait for perfect when true love can walk out the door,” She says and it’s good advice.

I eat lunch and am done as Bethany arrives back home from running her friends around to their homes. She smiles at me a little and Rosa makes her a plate of lunch before leaving us to do more work.

“So how was it last night with Lexi,” Beth asks taking a bite of Spanish rice.

“You don’t already know,” I ask with a smile.

“I know how she felt, I was just wondering about you,” she asks continuing her meal.

“If you’re asking me about sex I’m really not going to have this conversation,” I state with a chuckle.

“No I mean emotions and stuff. She thought you were pretty amazing,” Beth says giving me a small dose of what she heard earlier.

“Yeah well she was pretty amazing too,” I don’t elaborate, no real desire to with Beth.

“So no puppy love feelings or anything,” Beth asks and I shake my head,” Really, damn I was pretty sure you’d be looking for me to put in a good word for you or something.”

“Why cause that would make it easier to keep me around here,” I ask now turning from friendly to serious.

“No it’s just I’m the one everybody is watching now and I’m trying to unscrew up everything I did,” Beth explains and I give her a hard look.

“Just because I don’t want revenge doesn’t mean I like you very much. I’m getting along simply because it’s easier than fighting. You don’t just flip around three years of bullshit in a couple months because Mommy and Daddy are upset. I am here for me, not you and not them,” I reference the entire family and Beth stares at me a little afraid.

“Okay, I get it. You’re hard and I need to keep trying and be patient,” Beth says turning back to her plate and finishing her food.

I don’t know if she got it from her sister and brother to keep trying but honestly I’m not here for her or the rest of the family. I’m keeping my money separate, I’m looking at my college options and I’ve been slowly filling out applications over the past couple of weeks. Yeah my plan to leave is still going since I’m not seeing a reason to stay. It’s nice to be privileged but for how much longer till things step back to the old ways of ignorance and pain.

The rest of the day passes with no real conversation between Bethany and I as I stick to my room and she does whatever it is she does when she’s not on a date, with friends or destroying my life. Abigail arrives back home on Sunday and once unpacked and showered immediately comes to visit with me and goes into detail on how much fun she had. Nature science being her thing but we talk and I go over the basics of what happened with Beth’s weekend sleepover. We’re talking for about an hour when Mark comes in and takes a seat in my big chair with me on my computer and Abby on my bed and he tells us about his party not actually being a party he was spending the weekend with a girl he met and decided on no parties. We joke with him about actually having a relationship with someone for more than a couple hours and he takes it well when I realize that I have had only one relationship and it was one way, Jenna’s way. All three of us are talking when Bethany pokes her head in and both Abby and Mark give her a pair of ‘what the hell are you doing here’ looks. I feel like I’m having a morality check as I could or should say something.

“So Beth decided to get me involved with the slumber party fun and games,” I say it and Abby is firing lasers from her eyes through her twin.

“Really, what did they do,” Abigail asks and I smirk a little.

“Truth or dare and I had to sit through a shitty movie. I was on the couch and had a row of cheerleaders laying in front of me. Other than that it was pretty relaxed aside from her telling them not to have sex with me cause I’m emotionally vulnerable,” I get the last part out and Mark decides to add his two cents.

“You cock blocked him,” he says and Beth is quick to defend herself.

“No I just don’t want him getting hurt and besides most of the girls were in relationships anyway,” she says clarifying her statement.

“Maybe you should have sent a girl to Guy, might make up for a couple months of bullshit you pulled,” Abby says hotly to Beth.

“Or maybe she respected me enough to not make me feel pathetic,” I say it and all three are staring,” I mean my popular step sister has to convince her friends to sleep with me. It’s the sad kind of porn plot, no thanks on that one.”

“Yeah but even with it being sad porn you’d still be getting some,” Mark says and I shrug.

“Guy can get a girl on his own, next one will be a girl that is worth having and not a bitch like Jenna,” Beth says and I nod in minor agreement.

We’re talking; all four of us are talking and being friendly in my room. I would have cut off fingers for this three years ago, now I smile but watch everyone carefully. Abby and Mark are talking and smiling but not watching me, Beth is nervous mostly because of our history and the fact that she went from princess to bitch in a matter of hours once I was in the hospital.

Sleep and wakeup for Monday morning has me missing my morning run. I didn’t set an alarm and I slept through my normal wake up time but stagger down stairs at a reasonable hour to see Mom with a plate of breakfast waiting for me and a big smile on her face now that I’m up. We talk about the new nothing, her trip and my weekend with the cheer squad. I go over the basics leaving out more than a few details. Mostly what she hears makes her happy and that is good enough for me for now. I can tell she is going over something big when the word ‘Christmas’ is uttered. Gift shopping. Something I haven’t really done in a while and even when we were opening gifts I was usually in the corner and barely noticed as Bethany would take up the attention of everyone in the room.

“When are you going to do your shopping honey,” Mom asks sitting with me at the dining bar in the kitchen.

“I don’t know, probably just do some online shopping for a few things,” I remark not having a single freaking clue as to what to get everyone.

All previous Christmases I’ve just given gift cards and kept to myself but now I it seems like people are expecting me to play the part of loving son. I will admit that I do feel closer to Mom over the past couple weeks but everything is still off. I honestly think I’m the problem, well not consciously the problem. More like everything that has happened to me gave me a problem when it comes to feeling things.

“Guy, are you feeling alright,” Mom asks and I snap out of my deep thought.

“Yeah just thinking,” I reply trying to recover.

“You had a really lost look on your face, like something was wrong baby,” Mom says and I nod.

“I am very wrong,” I admit it for the first time,” I think I’m too broken.”

“How do you mean,” Mom asks turning to face me on her stool.

“Everyone is trying really hard and I don’t understand why, you all want me here but it doesn’t make sense? Adding to that I don’t feel anything, at least not like I think I’m supposed to,” I explain trying to talk it out.

“We want you because we’re family and yes we feel guilty but almost losing you opened our eyes as to what we were missing,” Mom says and I shake my head.

“But that doesn’t make sense though. I could have never been here and the five of you would have been quiet and happy without me, I’ve sat and watched all of you for three years and it would have been fine with me gone,” I explain and she sheds a tear at my words.

“We might have been but we weren’t a five person family, we’re a six person family and we… I got caught up in being a ‘great Mom’ that I didn’t think about who is most important to me in the world, You,” Mom says it but I don’t know.

“See that right there, I should be happy you said I’m the most important person to you in the world and I feel nothing. It’s like I died and my body hasn’t figured it out yet,” I explain trying hard to get the right words out,” I can feel some things at times but it’s only when it gets really intense.”

“Like a fight,” Mom asks trying to help.

“Like anything just almost overwhelming, and when it gets overwhelming I panic,” I keep explaining as mom listens.

“Panic like you want to run and hide,” Mom asks concerned.

“Like I don’t know what to do, only thing I’ve ever done is run or wait for the beating to stop,” I tell her and almost rest my head in my plate of breakfast.

“I know you feel things more than you think honey,” Mom says and I look at her confused,” It’s true, when your sister brought you down to me after Jenna’s break up and you rested in my lap. You felt that then, it was love and it was good enough you passed out.”

“I was pretty much out then anyway,” I state but she’s right about it.

“Maybe but you relaxed and we did it again later, then there is Mark and Abby. You’ve been hanging out with Mark at the gym and Abby has been invading your space more than a little bit to make up for lost time,” Mom states her facts and I agree, somewhat.

“Yeah but for how much longer, every time things get good for me it gets worse,” I state my life fact to Mom and she puts her arm around me.

“Honey I will be there to help, we all will. Things are going to get better, I promise,” Mom says and I want to believe her.

It would be nice if things stayed this good, or at least got good for long enough so that I don’t see everything as a letdown. Mr. Delauter is at work today and the rest of the family is set on decorating the house with Christmas stuff and as much as I was able to avoid it in the past I’m being asked to help with everything. It takes half the day but between the five of us we get the inside of the house done up with minor decorations except for the TV room which looks like something out of a catalog for Christmas minus the presents. Mr. Delauter makes it home early, four is early for him, and has a smile on his face when he sees the decorations up for the holiday. I’ll admit it looks nice but I don’t usually associate this holiday as a happy one historically for me and as everyone begins to have conversations about happier things I quietly duck out and head back to my room.

The family settles into their routine of getting ready for the holidays and I do my online shopping so I can have everything delivered and not have to inconvenience anyone by being driven into town. I think a couple of them wouldn’t mind me asking but I just feel out of place even though everyone is trying to show me that I have one. It’s a catch 22 and I’m living it daily. We make it through the first of three weeks’ worth of vacation in the manner previously mentioned when I’m checking on deliveries for gifts, I bought some real gifts not gag ones, but a couple haven’t made it to when I discover they were rerouted despite paying for shipping. They are in town and I can have them if I make it to their stores and provide ID and proof of purchase. My phone call to the company requiring an explanation doesn’t go well either, they offer free shipping on my next order, reimbursement on my shipping mishap and I decline. All I want is my package on my door like I paid for but they claim it is out of their hands. I spent ninety minutes dealing with two different companies who are very sorry they aren’t able to do what they were paid for but not sorry enough to fix their problem. I don’t know how loud I am but I know how angry I am when I exit my room after putting on some outdoor clothing, it is winter, and march down the stairs heading for the door.

“Honey what are you doing,” Mom asks noting my change in daily pattern.

“Out, need to pick up a few things,” I reply keeping it short.

“How are you getting there,” Mom asks stopping me in the foyer on the way to the door.

“Bus, I have a pass and everything,” I keep it quick and I’ve kept mine updated just in case.

“Honey I can take you,” Mom offers keeping me from exiting.

“Its fine Mom, need to do this on my own,” I don’t really, I just don’t want help.

“Oh is this for Christmas,” Mom asks in a whisper.

“Uggghh, yes it’s for Christmas and I’m going to miss my bus,” I am straining to get out the door.

“Mark. Can you take Guy into town, he needs to pick up some Christmas gifts,” Mom calls to Mark who is in the TV room.

“Yeah, just let me get some shoes on,” Mark answers back before heading to his room.

“I don’t need a ride Mom, I’ll be fine,” I tell her and attempt to leave.

“Guy just wait for Mark, it’ll be faster if he takes you and he can bring you back when you are done,” Mom says before leaning,” He needs to do some real shopping. I’ve heard him talk about gift ideas for me, help him please.”

Oh lord I have to help him shop for Mom when I’m barely coming up with gift ideas for her. Yeah this is going to go well. I wait for Mark who has his keys and once in his Challenger we’re off to the stores. It’s really only one store but it’s in a shopping mall, one I’ve been in maybe three times that I can actually remember and it takes me about ten minutes just to find the store I’m looking for. The girl behind the counter is polite while Mark is in flirt mode.

“Hi, my package was shipped here instead of my home address,” I state to the girl.

“Yeah, we get this mix up with a lot of incoming shipments, invoice,” she asks and I produce the copy.

It takes her a minute as Mark figures out we’re in a jewelry store. I watch him begin to look hard at a couple things while my package is found and brought to me. I sign my name and turn to leave but now Mark is stuck on some necklaces.

“I got my stuff, ready to go,” I ask and he speaks but doesn’t look away.

“Think Mom would like a necklace that reads ‘Cougar’,” Mark asks and I watch as the sales girl visibly pales at the gift idea.

“First off hell no, second what were you planning on getting her,” I ask him in reply and he shrugs.

“I don’t know, maybe a new coffee maker or something,” Mark gets the words out and I want to hit him with something that would hurt.

“Excuse me, Elizabeth,” I ask the girl who helped me,” This is Mark, he’s my step brother and he’s a bit of a moron…”

“Hey, I’m not dumb,” Mark retorts but I continue.

“Help him, make sure he gets something tasteful that he chooses and if he complains call this number,” I write down the number of Mr. Delauter,” it’s his father. He will straighten him out if anything goes wrong. I’m getting a pretzel.”

I turn and leave Mark with the nice lady behind the counter and head to the food court. Beginning of Christmas week and the food court is packed as people take a break from rushing about to get their last minute shopping done. I have to bail on a pretzel and settle for some type of lasagna from an Italian spot and large lemonade. I don’t look around and get involved in other people’s business as I sit and eat quietly. Unfortunately I’m not allowed to be left alone by the world but at least my company is friendly.

“Hey,” Alyson says sitting down across from me.

“Hi there, didn’t expect to hear from you again. Like ever again,” I state keeping my tone down.

“After everything happened I kept my mouth shut about that day and when nobody asked me any questions I figured you told them I didn’t have anything to do with it,” She says brushing her blonde hair behind her ear.

“Actually I didn’t tell them anything about us at all,” I state with a smirk,” I’d like to think that you didn’t have anything to do with what happened to me.”

“I didn’t I swear,” Aly says with a little fear.

“I believe you honestly, but I think the person who turned me onto you in the first place did,” I reflect on the situation and Romeo.

“So what now? You find them and take revenge,” Aly asks and I shake my head.

“No, cops can’t do shit without evidence and there is no evidence. Even if you were dragged in and question you’d only tell them that we were working on a school assignment and that’s it… right,” I ask and she nods with a smirk.

“Right, that whole anatomy project you needed help with. Want a refresher course,” she asks and I think about it.

“I want something more… long term. Like a relationship or something,” I state and she smiles.

“Well any girl who is into nice guys that are hung and sensitive in bed would be lucky to have you. As for me it’s all about the money and currently I need to finish buying my Dad a present,” Aly says standing up from the table,” next time I’ll give you a discount.”

Discount sex from the, or one of the, girls that takes sex for money at school. Sounds good except I would like a girlfriend and think about my options, more like lack of options. Syd would be good but she’s my friend and last time I was interested in a girl who thought of me as my friend I was crushed. Syd wouldn’t crush me but it’d be awkward. I finally realize that my available dating pool is rendered down to Bridget who wants to wait till after the New Year before coming over to play around and that’s pretty much it. I want to get a girlfriend I have to get out there and meet girls, except most of the females I know go to school with me and have spent three years watching me get my ass beat and heard some of the fucked up rumors about my life before the stabbing. Mark finally makes his way back from the jewelry store and we head back home. It’s not a horrible feeling returning to the house but when there is a car you don’t recognize it does draw concern, especially when you see the tell tale antenna out the top of the back and the extensive radio system in the front it’s a police car. Mark and I get inside the house to find the detective in charge of my case, Escalante I think, is standing in the foyer speaking with my mother.

“Mr. Donnelly, I was hoping to speak with you,” the detective greets me with a tight smile.

“Okay, you haven’t spoken with me in almost two months but I haven’t had anything to add,” I keep my reply short and neutral; she is the one investigating my near fatal stabbing.

“Yes well unfortunately I’m no longer on that case,” she informs me losing the smile.

“Okay well who is taking my case,” I ask curious.

“Nobody is taking your case, with no new evidence and no leads that we were able to pan out into anything that would point to a solid identity of your attacker the case is being relegated to cold case,” Detective Escalante informs me and I have to think about it.

“So you’re giving up? My son is stabbed and left for dead in an alley and you are giving up,” Mom asks growing angry.

“Mom it’s alright can’t expect much out of the justice system anymore these days,” I say stepping past Mom and the Detective.

“Mr. Donnelly I’d like you to know that I did look into Carlos Ortega and his group. This group you think attacked you is more of a neighborhood watch group. They don’t have any connections to the police but they aren’t people who randomly attack and commit attempted murder,” Detective Escalante says it and my anger go from nothing to everything in four seconds.

“Wait, did you just say they are a neighborhood watch group that wouldn’t hurt people,” I ask and I don’t think anyone notes my change in mood.

“We’ve had them under surveillance for two months and they’ve done nothing criminal the entire time,” She says it and I scoff.

“Did you get your detective badge from a fucking claw machine at the store,” I ask and she looks shocked,” Don’t bother you probably don’t have to skill to even get one that way.”

“Mr. Donnelly, Guy I’m sorry we weren’t able to find who did this to you…,” She begins and I let her continue,” but insulting a police detective doesn’t help.”

“Well it doesn’t hurt either considering you sat here and insulted my intelligence just now,” I say it and she’s confused,” here let me show you.”

I pull off my jacket and shirt right there in front of everyone, basically Mom and the Detective in the room and begin pointing out scars on my body and face. The bic lighter Hector accidently burned my shoulder with two years earlier, the glass from a bottle I was hit in the head with from behind, my almost permanent crooked nose from taking hits to the face. I go down a short but memorable list and Detective Escalante has a grim expression on her face.

“A neighborhood watch group? People who are protecting their streets and would never attack someone that wasn’t a ‘threat’ to them? Is that what you were trying to tell me… ME! You can leave now,” I turn and grab my package and clothes before heading up to my room.

Who is going to stop me, nobody. I can hear the detective speaking with Mother and she’s very apologetic about dropping the case. I don’t hear Mom’s response but I know what life will be like in the near future, Hector will be thrilled he can beat me as soon as we’re back to classes.

Carlos Ortega: Two days before Christmas

I don’t get called in to meet with the Union very often but when I do I cancel plans to take my little sister shopping for her friends. I know she wants to get Abigail and her family something from our family. Like a peace offering or something, she even wants us to deliver it to their home night before Christmas, she’s the good girl in the family and all of us know it. I step inside the Union office, their tattoo parlor where the Old Man holds court during the week and his son Smitty runs a legitimate business doing the best ink in Texas. I nod to Vicki, the Old Man’s granddaughter, before stepping past and around the counter. The Old Man is in his office looking at some papers as I knock quietly on the door. Old story, one gang leader had a meeting with the Union and didn’t knock or show any respect to the Old Man before spitting in his face and leaving. They found him chained to the back of his car, it was on fire and he’d been driven around the desert for a couple hours. He didn’t die quickly and somehow there was a video that went around to the other crews about respect. Thankfully I’ve always been polite with the Old Man and now will not be an exception.

“Close the door and take a seat Carlos,” the Old Man informs me and I do as he says,” Two months and some days you’ve been unable to handle business. I kept hearing police are watching but now they aren’t. So when am I going to be able to retrieve shipments that are overdue and get them moving again?”

“Week after Christmas, just before the New Year sir. We’ll have your goods back in your hands to move,” I let him know I’m ready to work which earns me a respectful smile.

“Good to hear it, problem is why were the police onto you? What were your people doing that drew two months worth of heat,” he asks, someone had to ask.

I explain a bit of the situation with Guy and Hector. I talk about the original idea to teach him some respect and how it blew up into three years of beatings and humiliation. The Old Man listens and doesn’t say anything or ask any questions as I go through how Guy was nearly killed and my boys were blamed because of our history. I get to the end after our interrogations and alibis and I can tell the Old Man is thinking.

“So some stabs your whipping boy and the police think it was your people and you tell me, truthfully, that it wasn’t your crew,” he asks and I nod in response,” So bring the boy in and explain it to him, like a man, and end it.”

“I’ve tried, he won’t speak to me. I’ve sent people to talk to him, he avoids them. I’ve tried talking to his sisters, they we very clear on what they thought of me and the worst part is I didn’t know how connected his family was till it all came down,” I explain and he nods to continue,” For three years nothing, we didn’t find out where he lived because we didn’t care. He had no friends or family, nobody came to his defense so my crew just did what they want. Hell it became a game to some of the people at the school of how badly could we embarrass or hurt him; they were taking bets on it.”

“So now he has family, what are they hired killers,” the Old Man says with a laugh and I shake my head slowly.

“Worse, his sisters are the brains and queen bee of the whole fucking school. His older brother was the rich football guy who supplied the team with the best when they won. Then there is his mom, queen of the charity function and halfway house. I know of four that she helps manage and finally his dad,” I take a breath and shake my head at the craziness of it,” He’s the senior partner at Delauter, Lindberg and Jennings.”

“He’s a senior partner at a law firm,” the Old Man asks with a chuckle.

“No he’s Mr. Delauter, the senior partner. He could fry us seven ways to Sunday and not get any ash on him,” I explain and the Old Man nods.

“So the boy kept his secret why? Something doesn’t make sense,” he says and I shrug.

“Rumor is he didn’t want special treatment due to family ties, he wanted to make his own way,” I give him the rumor but he has a question.

“Well that’s the boys choice I guess, so what now? Going to keep with tradition,” the Old Man asks and I shake my head.

“No, everyone is putting space between us and him. Anyone touches him and I personally will cut their fingers off,” I state cool and calm.

“Makes sense, but you need to get him to talk to the cops to keep the pressure off. I got word today, as I said earlier, that the police were done following you around. Apparently there wasn’t enough evidence to find who stabbed the kid and a friend of mine let me know they were putting the case away to the cold cases,” he tells me and I feel relieved,” You need to keep this kid, Guy or whatever his name is backed off and not talking to the police. More interruptions and I’m going to have to get involved professionally.”

“Everyone of my crew knows to keep their distance from him regardless of the police, you have my word,” I assure the Old Man who nods and we shake hands.

I leave after concluding business and check my phone, Marta’s invitation to the Delauter Christmas party hasn’t arrived but she can see the party is still happening on Christmas Eve and she’s upset. I arrive home to an upset little sister.

“I’ve been Abigail’s friend for three years and now I’m not welcome in their home,” Marta just comes right out and slams me with her complaint.

“Not something I can fix little sister,” we’re speaking in Spanish and she’s giving me the death look.

“Maybe you could turn in your boys for the shit they’ve been doing for the past three years. Or how about you find out which one of them stabbed Guy,” Marta won’t let this go as we walk through our parent’s home.

“My boys did what they did but nobody came after us then and now you want them to take the fall for shit they didn’t do,” I get the words out and can hear my Mom in the kitchen,” Sorry Mom, I love you.”

Marta usually goes on for a few more hours when she wants me to fix something for her but not this time. She heads back to her room and slams the door, and now mom is yelling about slamming doors in the house. I think I need to take a drive soon, go to see Guy at home; his family doesn’t shoot people on sight I think.

Guy Donnelly: the day before Christmas Eve Day

My Mom does charity work. Not like she donates money and smiles for the camera, she helps run girls’ halfway houses and unwed mothers homes. Also there are a couple soup kitchens and a mission clothing bank she pulled out of the ground. I’m learning about who she is for the first time in three years since she married Mr. Delauter but I still can’t help but feel left out. Here she was spending all her time on my step siblings and then more of her time helping half the city, well maybe a quarter of it, and I’m walking around bruised and scared all the time. We’re at one of the all girls’ houses and Mom is dealing with a mountain of problems, apparently there is a delay in the truck bringing gifts to the girls here and she’s on the phone working on making sure these girls have a Christmas. I don’t walk around and look to the girls passing by her office door, it’s just different to me as they are all looking and watching me. I quietly sit and pass the hour as finally the truck arrives and I make myself somewhat useful and begin helping to unload the truck. It takes a good bit but once the two pallets are off the truck Mom cuts the plastic wrapping and begins sorting out gifts for the girls. There must be fifty boxes here and she’s got her system to sort them all with the other lady managing the place, a large black woman with pressed hair, and I make myself scarce and head back to Mom’s office to wait. I get about ten feet into the hall from the outside and find myself a little cornered by a few of the girls.

“Are you her son,” a heavy set black girl asks and I nod,” you better not hurt Mrs. D or I’m gonna fuck you up? Got me?”

“Excuse me,” I ask confused.

“You heard me, she’s been sad and worried that her boy would leave her and she’d never see him again. You’re her boy so you better not hurt her,” the girl says and a few others nod.

“Don’t… don’t push me…,” my heart is beginning to pound and I feel a little light headed.

I put my hand on the wall for balance as someone takes my other hand and puts themselves under my shoulder and helps me into Mom’s office. I sit and shake a little calming down and get a good look at my savior. She’s attractive, a big girl too, but she has a soft face and long brown hair. She’s wearing an old olive green button up military shirt and baggy jeans. She hands me a cup of water and I take a sip from the little paper cup.

“Lisa is a bit protective of your Mom,” the girl tells me and I nod,” You looked like you were going to pass out or something.”

“I just… I get these panic attacks and I have to stop and slow down or it feels like my heart is going to burst out of my chest,” I tell the girl who sits down next to me in the opposite chair.

“I’m Jackie by the way,” she gives me her name.

“So Mom saved all of you,” I ask and she nods,” wish she could have saved me.”

“We heard a little about that, she was ready to quit back in October. A lot of us were scared because when she’s gone they bring in the state and they like to kick us out on the streets,” Jackie informs me and I shrug.

“I am still thinking about leaving and not coming back,” I tell her and she gives me an odd look,” it’s weird with her trying and finding out when she could have been taking care of me she was here or with my step sister.”

“Yeah but she’s your Mom, you can’t just walk away like she doesn’t matter,” she tells me and I shake my head.

“You have no idea how close I’ve been to doing just that. I even have money saved up for the move and new place,” I let her know a little bit about my plan, it does seem a little cruel but it’s my option out when I need it.

“I think you need to be a little easier on her, as bad as you think it was it doesn’t hold a candle to my Dad and brother,” she informs me and I wait,” they’re in jail, won’t be out for another decade at least and even if they do get out I’m never letting them do what they did to me again.”

“Jackie you don’t need to tell my son about what happened to you,” Mom says finally coming into the office.

“Sorry ma’am but you’re a good person and he should understand that,” Jackie says turning to face Mom.

“Good person is a maybe, but I was a lousy Mom. If he left tomorrow it would hurt me but it’d be my fault,” Mom says sitting down and I feel like they know each other better than I know Mom,” But he’s giving me a chance and I’m doing my best to make up for my mistakes.”

Jackie nods and leaves before giving me a little wink, why did she wink at me? Mom finishes a file and takes her purse as we leave the shelter for home. It’s a quiet drive for the first half of it when Mom wants to talk.

“So did you get all your shopping done,” Mom asks curious.

“Yeah, even the delivery that didn’t come to the house like it was supposed to,” I reply a little bitter about paying for shitty shipping.

“Well things happen,” Mom says and I grumble.

“To me, a lot,” I get it out and Mom sighs loudly.

“I know, I should have known but I was too busy feeling sorry for myself,” Mom says and I’m confused a little.

“About what, divorcing Dad? Dragging me through three states like luggage,” I ask keeping my tone neutral.

“There are things before you can remember that happened that I’ve been ashamed of, things that drove me into the hole that we were living in after the divorce. I can’t talk about it with you son, it hurts too much,” Mom is trying to explain something and attempting hold out from crying.

I sit quietly as Mom pulls the car over and we sit in silence as Mom just stares out the windshield of the car quietly staring at the world outside. I don’t know what to do here; there is something people should do in situations like this but for the life of me I don’t know what to do.

“I have never been a good mother to you but I am trying, desperately trying to be there for you,” Mom says and I finally address her,” I just want to put you and me together again and more and more everyone is looking at me like I’m postponing you leaving me behind and never looking back.”

“And I should, you never looked back for me. I was following you around for nine years and not once did you look over your shoulder and see how hurt I was. You just kept moving forward I was dragged along for the ride so yeah, I should leave and never look back,” I tell Mom and she tears up at my words,” But I’m not going to.”

“What,” Mom can only reply with a single word.

“I can’t bring myself to hurt people Mom, yeah I get angry and speak the truth but it’s not about hurting anyone. It’s about making them understand why when they say things that contradict everything they’ve ever done I don’t believe them. I love you Mom but I’m not well, I’m broken,” I tell her feeling painfully honest about myself.

“I’m gonna help fix you, as best I can,” Mom says putting her arm around my neck.

Good luck to her on that because I don’t even know what is wrong with me most days. I know I want things but they seem impossible to get. I wonder if I’m dreaming too big and should downsize or something. Hell everyone is still talking about me going to college… to do what? I have no freaking clue what I’m going to do in college let alone what I’m going to do after college.

Mom during my tirade of thoughts restarts the car and brings us home with about an hour to spare before the Christmas party. Like other events in past years I’ve been hidden in my room and like current events I’m now expected to make an appearance and socialize. We arrive back home and I change into ‘nice Christmas clothes’ which basically consists of slacks and an ugly Christmas sweater. I didn’t own one before but now I’m wearing one as guests arrive. It’s a quiet affair in comparison to Halloween with only a couple families that Mom and Mr. Delauter know from work and charity with a few friends of Mark and Beth hanging around. Abigail is quietly enjoying her conversations with random people and I’m discovering that chairs need me to sit on them to feel useful. We get an hour or so in when a minor problem occurs and I see Abby and Mark dealing with something at the front door and when Abby is upset I take notice. I make my way through the foyer to the door and freeze as Marta is standing there with a small stack of presents and a frustrated look on her face.

“I’m sorry Marta but you weren’t invited, it’s nothing personal but…,” Abby tells her friend who is as I said, frustrated.

“Why? We’ve been friends since freshman year and now I’m not allowed to come over,” Marta asks a little angry.

“We’re having a party Marta, I’m sorry but I can’t have company,” Abigail replies trying to be civil but firm in her rejection.

“Mark, can you take her presents and put them with the rest while I talk to Abigail please? Marta wait here,” I say to all assembled before turning away from the front door.

I head into the currently empty dining room and tell mom to add one more plate to the dinner pile as Abby follows me. She’s concerned but I’m not sure if it’s about me or who knows what.

“I thought everyone was able to invite a couple friends,” I ask Abby who looks a little sheepish,” Why didn’t you invite Marta?”

“Because Marta always came with Romeo and he’s part of the problem, him and that fucking gang,” Abby is more than a little upset as she describes Marta’s boyfriend.

“Okay but why didn’t you just invite her,” I ask and she shrugs unhappily.

“Because she’s related to Carlos who’s a thug and a bully and he’s been picking on you for three years,” Abby states and it does make a little sense.

“Okay well she’s here now, do you want her to stay,” I ask and Abby shrugs but I know she wants her friend here.

I lead Abby back to the Foyer where Marta is waiting. Both have an awkward look on their faces, yay for friends matching.

“Marta, Abby couldn’t tell you she didn’t want you here because your boyfriend part of your brother’s group,” I explain and Marta groans.

“I know that’s why he’s with his family and I’m here,” Marta says and I turn to Abby.

“See, no problem,” I’m trying to make peace and be friendly,” Now please take your friend somewhere and socialize or something. I’m the only one without friends here tonight.”

Marta and Abigail look at me a little confused before heading off to the TV room to talk. I just let the sister to the gang leader that has been letting his boys beat the shit out of me come over and enjoy herself at my family’s expense… I thought my family. That feels odd but most are trying in some form or another and some better than others. I settle down and listen to the adults talk, the people my age talk and finally just sit and listen to everyone else talk amongst themselves until dinner is served. It’s an assembly line of plates and food where everyone is waiting patiently for their turn in front of the buffet Mom and Rosa have put together. I don’t wait in line and decide to simply wait till others have gone first. It doesn’t take too terribly long thankfully and I’m lucky when I get to the front that I don’t have to take a plate, Rosa already made me one. I get a smile from her and grab a fork and knife to sit down somewhere quiet. I settle on the dining room since nobody else is there and eat. Ham, mashed potatoes, buttered carrots and Spanish rice. It’s wonderful and I enjoy almost half my plate when I get company as Marta and Abigail join me at the table. They both take seats across from me and continue their conversation about school and people we go to school with. I don’t join in until I think one asked me a question but I didn’t hear what was asked.

“Huh, I’m sorry I didn’t catch that,” I reply finishing a bite of ham.

“I asked who are you dating,” Marta asks and I almost laugh.

“I’ve been the whipping boy for your brother and his gang for three years, it doesn’t make girls want to jump into a relationship with me,” I state and she scoffs.

“Okay but you’re a sweet guy… Guy,” Marta actually laughs at her own joke,” have you tried asking anyone?”

“Yeah, one time and that led to a month of me being someone else’s bank account and funding her good times,” I recall Jenna, not to difficult.

“Okay but what about other girls, I know Abby and I could probably find a girl or two who would go out with you,” Marta offers and I shrug.

“It wouldn’t matter if they did or not, long term I’m probably not going to be hanging around here like your brother and boyfriend. I am looking at being gone after this school year ends,” it’s mostly true, I have been planning to be out of the house this school year.

My words have Abigail and Marta quiet and looking to each other for something to counter my option of leaving. It’s still there, the option but it’s not as appealing as it was a couple months ago. I think about whether it’s the actuality of being on my own or that for the first time in my life I can remember feeling something close to actual happiness. I continue eating because it’s dinner time and I’m hungry, I know right… motivation. Abby and Marta talk among themselves and don’t ask me anymore questions which is alright considering she’s the sister to one of the people I’d leave to die. Okay leave to die is a bit much but… no I’d trip Carlos’s ass and let zombies eat him. I get through dinner and a second helping and figure dessert should be in about an hour after everyone is done. It’s what Mom used to do and about the time Rosa would bring me a plate while I was hiding in my room during previous gatherings. I allow Mom to introduce me to a few friends of the family and their children. I get told a few of their names and as they try to talk to me about things important to them like sports or popular music I find myself once again lacking in knowledge on the subjects. I don’t make an ass out of myself by trying to talk out of it but I’m the oddest teen here and it shows a little more than usual. I’ve moved off by myself to a corner when I see Rosa wave me over and quickly head to see what she needs. I listen to her request and immediately say no but Rosa has this very nice way of basically saying ‘please do this or I’ll cry and never forgive you as you burn in someone else’s hell’. I don’t understand it either but I grab my small amount of equipment and set up as everyone else talks and watches the television. It takes me a little bit and I do a quiet sound check, I’ve done more than a few but doing it quietly is a challenge and mercifully nobody catches on to what I’m doing if they did see me as I turn everything on and begin to sing.

Silent night… Holy night… All is calm… All is bright… ‘Round yon virgin… Mother and Child… Holy Infant so tender and mild…

That is about as far as I get when I notice that every room has cleared out and now the entire assembled family and guests are standing and staring as I continue with my first ever Christmas song. I thankfully know the whole song as it’s one that doesn’t need a freaking choir to back you up. I finish the song and I get applause, okay it’s a foyer full of people and they’re clapping but nothing went a sideways on me so it’s a good thing. Mom hugs me and I actually feel nice, warm and just a bit better than normal. I get everything unplugged and Mark helps me put the minor sound system away before Mr. Delauter has me meeting a few people from his firm. Mostly people at his level meaning th