My Awakening free porn video

My Awakening By Gennie Greetings once again my love, While it has been months since our encounter I remember it as if it were yesterday. You, my love, have taken me to heights unimaginable in my previously limited experience. Your deep sensitivity toward what I thought I wanted; your amazing knowledge of what I needed but had denied for so long; and your gentle forceful manner that would allow nothing short of total obedience have left an indelible longing upon my soul. In that single encounter my love, you have changed my life forever. In that single week you were able to tear down all of my carefully constructed walls. Walls that had taken me years to build. Walls that I had been very comfortable hiding behind. It had taken me so long to convince myself that I was an occasional crossdresser, nothing more. I "knew" that I was a healthy human male with "normal" male sexual desires and responses. I had absolutely no desire whatsoever to engage in any type of sexual activity, with anyone, in possession of male genitalia. Then I met you. My tormentor, my nemesis, my love. How was I to know that you were not as you appeared? You were/are beautiful, friendly, understanding. You were the first person I had ever met that openly asked if I was a transvestite. How you knew was a mystery, but it didn't matter, what mattered was that you knew, you understood, and you offered to help me as no one ever had. You took me into your life for that onederful week, and for that I shall remain eternally grateful. How could I have possibly refused an offer to have such a beautiful woman dress me and teach me how to be a "proper" lady? A week of dressing and training at your home. My only obligation: To honestly record my feelings and experiences for you. Never in my wildest fantasies had imagined this could happen to me. It was the fastest decision I've ever made, saying no was never an option. I clearly remember my arrival at your door that next morning. My knees felt as though they were made of Jello, I could hear my heart pounding in my ears, I was sure the neighbors would hear it beating and call the Police. I had followed your instructions to the letter. I brought nothing but the clothes I wore from my home to yours. I used public transportation, leaving my locked car at home. My pockets were empty except for a single house key, which was to be surrendered to you before I would be allowed to enter your domain. I brought no identification. The only money I left home with (just enough for a one way bus ride) had been used to get to your house. Once inside your home I would have no way out. You had planned it all so well. I was a fly, locked within your web, and I was in heaven. You were so beautiful. Your tight fighting black dress accentuating your every curve. The low neckline barely covering your deep brown nipples. Your lovely long legs encased in those sensuous detailed stockings. Those irresistible black ankle strap pumps that I would gain such an intimate knowledge of. And your eyes. So large. So blue. So understanding. So commanding. How could I have possibly refused your demand that I remove all my clothes and place them outside? I handed you my house key, which I watched you lock away, and followed your instructions to completely divest myself of male clothing. Your only response to my growing embarrassment was that wonderful smile you used to captivate me in the first place. You left me standing there for what seemed like hours, just looking me up & down, before having me follow you to the bathroom where my training would begin. It wasn't my fault my cock hardened so quickly. Watching your firm round ass undulate in that skin tight dress, wondering if I could ever look that good from behind, it was just more than I could handle. How could I have possibly known then that that would be the last time it would be allowed to harden while I was in your home? When we arrived at your bathroom and you directed me to "take care of my unruly beast or else" I was slow to understand. The sting of your well manicured hand however, did bring immediate understanding. It was difficult for me, I had never before masturbated to an audience. I must say it was a humbling experience at best. You then instructed that I take advantage of the scented bubble bath already drawn. To relax, and to soften my body hair and skin. Your gentle assurances, and attentive behavior while I soaked were so different from the commanding manner you had exhibited since my arrival, that I vowed then I would do whatever was necessary to assure your happiness. That is why my love, in spite of my doubts, and concerns I allowed you to shave my hairy male body. I remember my surprise that you could make shaving such a slow and sensuous experience. It was intoxicating the way you so gently caressed my legs while slowly sliding the razor along their length. Your long red fingernails tracing the area you would shave next. The last symbolic vestiges of my manhood swirling inexorably down the drain, my mind slipping ever further into the submissive mindset you knew would result. I still shiver at the memory of your soft strong hands massaging lotion everywhere you had just shaved, especially the expert way in which you massaged my genitals, pushing my balls back up into my body and sliding that harness into place over my semi-erect cock. I'm still in a daze how you were able to pull my cock back between legs with so little resistance on my part. I can still clearly remember the soft click I heard as you closed the straps on the harness, and the small giggle you made when I asked you about it. You explained that it was just a clasp so that the harness would not slip while I was wearing it. You neglected to mention that it was designed not only to give me a flat front, but that it would also help to train me to sit every time I needed to use the toilet, and that it was a very effective chastity belt. The click I had heard was not a simple clasp closing but rather a small efficient lock, to which you held the only key. I was so completely overwhelmed that a lifelong dream was actually coming true, and I so wanted to enjoy every minute of my transformation that all I could think of then, as now, was your happiness my love. It was after you locked my chastity that you playfully applied a heavy coat of lipstick to my lips and kissed me for the first time. A long sensuous, tounge filled kiss, my first where both parties were wearing lipstick. A kiss that left my head spinning, and my cock straining against it's harness. I tried to reach up during that kiss, to caress your beautiful body, to touch your lovely face, but that was not allowed as you held my arms down. You were in control and wanted to be sure that I understood. I was under your spell, my love and could do nothing but follow your every instruction. Eventually you broke the contact of that kiss, and reaching behind me from the vanity drawer you produced one of the prettiest garments I have ever seen. Pure virgin white. The satin so shimmery, so smooth. The froth of lace around the top and bottom, intoxicating. So small. I mentioned that it had to be designed for someone much smaller than myself, and again you would only smile, and assure me that it would fit, that in fact it had been custom made to fit me. I was so overwhelmed that it did not occur to me to wonder how you knew my sizes. Just another of your mysteries, my love. I had never worn a corset before. I thought I knew what to expect, but what you held before me looked so small, and I struggled so just to get the front closed, I was afraid to breathe for fear of ripping that beautiful creation. I quickly discovered however, that my fears were unfounded. Once my strugles were finished I again heard your lilting giggle, and your command to turn around and raise my arms over my head. I remember thinking "oh yeah, now she's going to losen the ties after all my work getting it on." I could not conceive that it could have been pulled tighter. Yet tighter it became. I was amazed at your strength pulling my waist ever smaller. The corset you explained, as you tugged the skin of my chest up between pulls, was designed to make breasts where there were none. Heavy boning under each arm pushed flesh forward into heavy underwire bra cups. The breasts thusly formed were not large, but certainly enough to notice and play with. Which you simply could not resist doing once you were done. My cock once again reminded me of its encased state, but there was nothing I could do. It did not take me long to realize, even before you explained, that not only did I now have a very feminie shape complete with breasts, but the corset would act as another training device to make me even more feminine. It would you explained: Assure that I squat rather than bend to pick up something from the floor; That I would sit properly with my back straight and chest out; And that it would help me learn to walk with smaller steps swinging my hips rather than clodding along like Bozo the clown. The stockings you slowly slid up my smooth hairless legs sent shivers up my spine. The light tug of the garter straps against the bottom of the corset as you attached the stockings made me feel for the first time as if I were a woman. The matching white satin panties sliding over the nylons so soft, so feminine. My first look in the mirror made me again weak in the knees and I almost fainted. I had never believed that I could look and feel so sexy. Never before in my life had I ever felt so helpless, so vulnerable. Exactly the mindset you knew I would need to freely release my inner feelings. To emerge from behind my walls. My body was smooth and hairless, my genitals were locked in such a way that they were useless except to sit & pee, I was wearing a white satin & lace corset that literaly "took my breath away" and would never come off without help. I had no male clothing, no money, no identification, and was enraptured by your beauty and strength. You must have realized my feelings, perhaps you have felt them yourself, but your gentle reassurances and warm smile allowed me to drift in the clouds so that you could continue my transformation. Once those silky black stockings were on and attached to my corset you guided me into your bedroom, your inner sanctum. Your vanity top covered with powders and perfumes, the scents making an indelible impression of you upon my mind. So much so my love, that now, whenever I pass the perfume/makeup counters in a department store I get a vivid image of your commanding, angelic features. You instructed that I sit at the vanity so that my proper visage could emerge. With my back to the mirror, not, you explained so that I would be unable to see the magic you would wield, but for the much more practical reason that it would be easier on you. You were ready to begin. Almost. I am truly sorry about my knees my love. I should have known better. But I was so enthralled by my attire, and your beauty, I simply did not think to keep my knees together. Men tend to sit with their knees spread, I had not yet learned my love, I certainly know better now. Your displeasure with me hurts still my love. The training strap fit so tightly, it felt as though you had cut off the circulation below my knees. With me sitting there in your bedroom, my knees clasped properly together, my mind racing with wild fantasies, you were again almost ready to begin. It was while you stood looking down at me. I just sitting there, looking and feeling so helpless, you decided it would be a good time to place THOSE shoes on my feet. I could then sit with my knees tilted to the side like a proper lady should. The shoes were very beautiful. I had never seen the likes of them before. As white as the corset and panties, shiny patent leather pumps with ankle straps that must have been 3/4 inch wide. Again, I thought I knew what it would be like to wear such exquisite feminine articles. After all, to wear shoes with such high heels had been one of favorite fantasies for years. However, as with the corset, I learned that fantasy and reality are not always compatible. I had worn shoes with 3" heels for hours at a time and had become accustomed to the height, I was certain that a mere inch could not be THAT different. You shattered another illusion for me my love. As soon as you put them on I realized how different it would be trying to walk in 4" heels. The strain on my calves was much more than I expected. I thought it was just because of the knee strap, I now know better. As with the chastity you wanted to be sure that I would not become bored with my "new shoes" too soon and demonstrated why the shoes were equipped with such sexy wide ankle straps. With the click of each padlock I slipped deeper into my submissive, feminine mindset, and a few more bricks tumbled from my walls. It was finally time for you to work on my face. I still believe that you could have tweezed my eyebrows with somewhat less zeal, but you seemed to be enjoying yourself so much, I was afraid to speak. Such a fine high arc you made of them. The false eyelashes seemed so heavy at first, I thought I would have trouble keeping my eyes open. You replied with that disarming smile that "it's just one more of those little things we ladies have to put up with to be beautiful." You applied more layers of make-up than I knew could be applied without cracking. You explained that even though my beard was light it was best to cover it, to be sure it wouldn't show when we went out later. My heart raced and my hands started to shake at the thought of going out. I was sure it was just another of your subtle control phrases, after all you said the week at your home, you did not say anything about going out. You said that for now you would use light subtle colors on my eyes, to make them appear larger, and more blue. I of course agreed. What could I have done at that point had I not agreed? I was surprised, and I must admit, somewhat disappointed when you did nothing more with my shoulder length hair than pull it back into a pony tail. I had still not yet learned to place my trust in you, my love. You must have noted my look of disappointment for you went on to explain that my hair would be taken care of. Later. The jewelry you chose my love, made me feel as if I were Cinderella. Beautiful, sparkling, heart shaped, diamond studded earrings. A three band diamond bracelet, and matching two chain necklace with a heart shaped pendant about an inch across. I loved it so much I wanted to put it all on immediately but once again my love, you taught me a lesson in patience. You informed me that the jewelry would have to wait until I had my dress on. "My Dress" how I savored those words. A dress I could call my own. A dress that I somehow knew would fit unlike any dress I had ever tried. What would it look like? With my eyes closed my mind raced through colors and styles, I wanted to cum but knew it was unladylike and would not be allowed, just another lesson in patience. I sensed, and then felt your hot breath upon my face. Your hands caressing my nylon clad thighs as you again ever so slowly bring your lips to mine. Our lipsticks mingle, my hands are allowed to slide slowly over your firm round ass and thighs. Our tongues wrestle. So slow, so sensuous. As if we had all the time in the world, no rush, no urgency, you teaching me the difference between making love and having sex. And as with the art of love itself, your teaching would allow no rushing, no shortcuts. How badly I wanted you to release me my love, how much I loved being in your power, the thought never occurred to me to remove the knee strap or request removal of my chastity. You were in command, I was clay being molded to your desire. Leaving me breathless after your kiss you disappeared into your closet. Not knowing what else to do I waited. When you returned I was shocked to see that you had changed clothes to jeans and a T-shirt. Saying, "Not to worry my little captive one. I want you to experience being the best dressed lady in the room." Of course in my state of mind I would have accepted anything you told me my love. I then noticed the dress you carried over you shoulder behind your back. I was speechless. It was breathtaking. White satin, full length, sleeveless, with a mock turtle neck collar, full in the front with a high walking slit in back, and a gold satin lining. All I could do was stare at that wonderful creation. Not only was it beautiful but it was for me. I would be wearing this most feminine garment. ME! My dreams had never allowed me to imagine that I could ever wear such femininity. It looked as though it would have to be sprayed on, but I had learned from the corset and shoes that you had the size exactly correct my love. I had no doubts. You walked toward me and laid that piece of heaven next me while you released my legs. I wanted so to touch it, to feel it, but you had not told me that I could so I did not. You steadied me while I attempted to stand, I was right about one thing these shoes would take some getting used to. As if my realization were your que, you instructed me to walk around the room for you. So that I could become accustomed to my new "walking" shoes. I learned from a combination of your coaching, the corset, and those heels, to take short steps, bringing my raised foot directly in front of the other before setting it down landing with my toe instead of heel first. After ten minutes I thought my calves were on fire. You just smiled and instructed me to practice another five minutes and you would then allow me to put my dress on. My dress! The moment had finally arrived you were going to help me into MY DRESS. I was so tired from walking but found my strength return with the thought of sliding that wonderful dress up onto my body. You knew that I would be invigorated by the thought of wearing that dress my love. You held the dress open so that I could step into it, I wobbled on those high heels, but you were there too keep me stable my love. I will never forget the sensuous feeling of the satin sliding up my legs. How the skirt of the dress pulled my legs together, the snug feeling as the bodice was pulled up over the corset. As if to break the spell, you stopped there and retreated to your closet. I did not know what to think my love. But to my surprise you returned with two silly putty looking blobs that you said were breast enhancers. You again played with my little breasts formed by the corset and then added the breast enhancers. I could not believe the effect, you never cease to amaze me my love, I would never have known that such things existed without you. With my breasts now, as you put it, of "reasonable size" you were willing to finish helping me into my dress. I savored sliding my arms into the shoulders of my beautiful dress, allowing you to pull it together in the back and zip the zipper. Again in your slow sensuous way you pulled the zipper closed. Sliding your hands across my butt, moving up along my corset, slowing to caress my breasts along the way. My efforts to speed your progress were ignored. You my love, my teacher, wanted me to experience the sensuality a woman feels as she dresses for a night at the opera. With the dress finally on I thought it was now time that I could put on that lovely jewelry. But you of course pointed out that my hands and hair had not yet been done. I realized of course that you were correct but when I inquired when you would do my nails and hair. Your only response was "in due time my little captive beauty, in due time. But first you must learn how to wear such a lovely dress." I could not believe that you could make me spend another hour learning to walk, to sit, to squat, and to navigate stairs in a full length evening gown. I learned to lift & hold the front of my dress when walking, to smooth my backside before sitting, and to lay my hands lightly in my lap when sitting. I felt as though I were a young bride on her wedding day. The silky swish against my nylon clad legs as I moved, the restricted gait caused by the dress, and gentle tug of the corsets garter tabs as I walked, combined to make me feel as though I were walking in the clouds. I was in ecstasy my love, and I had only you to thank. Eventually you were satisfied with my performance, or so I thought, since you asked if I was ready to get my hands and hair done. My lifelong dreams come true at your hands, and you ask if I am ready? I feel like a woman, I feel "right" for the first time in my life. And you ask if I am ready to have my hair and nails done? Of course I said yes. What I did not realize was what I was saying yes to. While I had been prancing around the room, enjoying my new self, my comfortable self, you had placed the jewelry and some near shoulder length white satin gloves into a small white clutch purse. I think I may have blacked out momentarily when you handed me that purse and informed me of MY appointment at Joleen's, your hairdresser. I had truly not expected to go out dressed, especially in an evening gown, in the middle of the day. Somehow you knew that in order for me to feel complete, I would need to go out, to be seen, to be accepted as a woman by strangers. But this was all happening so fast, I was petrified, but you would allow no argument. Either I would do as I had promised and do what I was told, or you would give me a ride home then and there, just the way I was and I could figure out how to change back on my own. You knew that I could not go back, but going forward was almost more than I could handle. A lifetime of hiding and denial had kept me feeling safe, and now you wanted me to abandon my life of deception, and face reality. I was scared, my love. There was nothing in the world I wanted more, but fear held me back. Once again your love and understanding won. How did you know what I wanted and needed when I did not know myself? It was as if the Berlin wall came crashing down in my mind when you nonchalantly walked toward the door handing me "my purse" on the way, and instructing me to follow. My next surprise awaited me in the garage. Strange that I had never thought of a pick-up as being difficult vehicle to get into. But then I had never tried to get into one while wearing a full length evening gown and four inch heels. I was so embarrassed. But I was determined that I would get into the vehicle without incident. I was tough, and if you expected it of me, I would do it. After all it was just getting into a vehicle. Any two year old could that. Thank goodness you had that customized step added or I would still be standing in your garage. Once again with your help and guidance, my love, I was able to get into the truck without breaking or ripping anything, but the leg show would have been something to watch had it been someone other than myself putting it on. That was when it occurred to me that I would have to again enter your monster when we were finished at Joleen's. I would be giving my leg show in public! I then realized why you had changed into jeans & Reeboks my love, you had no difficulty getting into your truck. The ride to the salon was uneventful allowing me time to re-live and savor the events of the day. Somehow I had always thought that I would be terrified of being "read" while out in public as a woman. But to my amazement, my love, your confidence and commanding presence, had so overwhelmed my senses that I found myself fantasizing about what my hair and nails would be like and forgot about being "read". That is until we arrived at our destination. The realization that I would now have to leave the safety of your monster's interior was almost too much. Do you remember how I tried to refuse to open the door? How much I was shaking as I watched you leave the truck and walk over and talk to that man? I didn't know if he was someone trying to hit on you, if he was an acquaintance of yours or if he was an employee of the salon. So I sat, and I worried. My mind raced. What if this man saw that I wasn't a woman? What would he think of my beautiful gown and messy hair? How could he not notice that my hands had the short unpolished nails of a man? My mind wanted to find a dark secluded cave to crawl into and hide. My emotions wanted to see what it was like to have my hair styled and fingers manicured. My body wanted to shake its self apart. The decision was of course, made for me, my love. I thought I would faint when the two of you walked to my door and he opened it. My heart was in my throat, I was near panic, I didn't know what to do. The only encouragement I could get from you was another of those unnerving smiles you are so good at, my love. My thoughts turned to how helpless I was sitting there in your truck. We were miles from home, I could barely walk, running would be impossible, the corset and dress assured me of limited mobility, and I was staring into the face of a stranger holding his hand out to me. The spell was thankfully broken when you introduced him as your brother. You both knew that I would be unable to get out of that monstrosity (I will never look at a 4X4 the same way again) without help. I however, did not know. I remember turning in the seat and attempting to step down. That's when the realization hit that there was no way MY DRESS, corset, and shoes would allow me the freedom of motion required to step down without help, at best I could expect a broken ankle, at worst... Your brother was so polite, such a gentleman. His strong hands grasping my waist, helping me safely to the ground. His warm breath on my face as my feet touched the ground and we were briefly face to face. Such a handsome face. More bricks falling from my remaining walls, my love, and again you just smiled. How could you possibly know my love? How could you know so much about my feelings, my thoughts, my needs? I could then, only wonder. You decided on the truck, I know now, my love, so that I could experience that wonderful sense of accepting help. It was so unusual to not have to be the tough man that proves his virility by showing how he can do anything. It was such a freeing sensation to give in to my helplessness and accept your brother's hand. I could not believe that I kissed your brother on the cheek and thanked him for his help, but it seemed like the natural thing to do under the circumstances. I felt as if I had blushed enough to put Rudolof's famous nose to shame. In the macho world of men, my love, men just do not kiss men, even on the cheek. I had just kissed a man, and it seemed natural. What was happening to me? I like women. I love women. I have never been attracted to a man. Once out of the truck and allowed time to catch my breath you instructed that I walk the short distance to the salon and introduce myself as Gennie, and that you would be along shortly. You explained that Miss. Joleen was expecting me and not to worry about my voice, that we would work on it later, the implication was that she already knew about me. Comforting in a way, terrifying in another. It was only yards across the driveway to the salon, but it felt like miles. Although I could see no one else, I KNEW that there were people everywhere watching me and they all knew that as much as I loved my beautiful dress, I did not belong in it. That I was an imposter, and did not deserve to wear such beautiful clothes. A deep sigh of relief as I entered the salon and noticed that I was the only patron. The vision of delight behind the counter waited until I had introduced myself before she would acknowledge that she was indeed Miss. Joleen, and that I should have a seat over by the window and relax until she called me. A glass of wine had been placed on the table. Miss. Joleen said that I should drink it to help me unwind. I looked around for somewhere else to sit, but I had no choice. The only chairs in the foyer were by the window! Following instructions I chose a chair and studied Miss. Joleen and her salon, while I sipped my wine and relaxed. It was very good wine. Miss. Joleen, looked to be in her mid-thirties, athletic build, curly shoulder length blonde hair, and deep brown eyes that contrasted perfectly with her hair. Overall a vision to die for. The salon was not much different than where I usually went for my male hair cuts, except that her shop was smaller, and seemed to cater to women only. I looked for a Sports Illustrated or Field and Stream and found instead issues of Ms, Cosmopolitan, and Transformed. The last, I learned was placed there just prior to my arrival and would be removed upon my departure. I could not help but stare in rapt attention at the pages as a young male was "transformed" from a macho stud into a dainty French maid at the hands of two powerful women. My submissive mindset was nearly complete. Your arrival startled me, my love, so deep was my fascination with the magazine. I remember hearing you talk with Miss. Joleen about what you expected. You explained to her that you would like my hair styled, not permed, in such a fashion that it would match the simplicity and elegance of my gown. I know that that is what you explained to her, my love, I heard you talking to her. I remember she showed you some pictures and I heard you say "I think she would look great in this style." I was to have no choice and no idea of what my hair was to look like until it was done. Just one more instance of your growing control over me. You then came to me and explained that I would be in good hands with Miss. Joleen, and must cooperate fully with her. You had some errands to run and so would leave, but promised to return in a few hours. I felt like a little girl whose mommy was leaving her at the hair dresser's for her first perm. Of course in my case I only had a week to be feminine, and so I would be unable to have anything lasting done to my hair or nails. At least that's what you led me to believe, my love. Shortly after you left, Miss. Joleen led me into the salon area where she had me sit in a chair very similar to my barber's chair. She put a pink plastic shroud over my shoulders and around my neck. I must admit to a pang of embarrassment at the feminine pink shroud being placed around me being used to my barber's white pin-stripe nylon shroud that he has used forever. But it was just a pang, my love, honest. Once in the chair and ready to start I felt very at ease, perhaps it was the wine, but I prefer to believe that it was Miss. Joleen's professional, understanding manner. For whatever reason my love, the next few hours are still only a blur in my memory. I remember how wonderful it felt to sit there and have Miss. Joleen talk quietly and work her magic on my hair. How I reveled in the feel of her hands working with my hair. The many different smells of the various solutions she used. I seemed to be drifting in a cloud of femininity that I never wanted to escape. I know Miss. Joleen, worked on my nails for quite a while. I remember complaining that it hurt, and Miss. Joleen telling me to: "be tough and take it like a lady." I must have fallen asleep while my hair was drying and Miss. Joleen was doing my manicure, because I remember opening my eyes and seeing your radiant face looking down at me, and hearing Miss. Joleen announce that it was time to comb my hair out. What an experience to have heard someone talking about me like that. It was time for ME to have MY hair combed out. I couldn't wait. I wanted to see it immediately. "Always in such a rush my litte captive one. Patience, patience, you will see the new you in just a little while." You then instructed Miss. Joleen, to proceed with my comb-out but to be sure I would not see it until all was complete. It felt so strange to me to have someone working with my hair. All my barber has ever done is spray on some water, cut here, cut there, and pronounce me done. Miss. Joleen, combed and smoothed, pushed and fluffed, and frequently stepped back to see how I would look from a short distance away. Finally she declared me finished. My pulse raced, and my imagination went into overdrive. Would I look good enough to pass? Would my wispy dark hair be equal to the elegance of my dress? I knew my hair was long enough, but... Miss. Joleen turned the chair and I was treated to my first view of Gennie. I couldn't believe what I saw. I fainted. I had never fainted before in my life my love. It must have been the overwhelming sensations of a day full of dreams fulfilled, illusions shattered, and emotions rollercoastered. Miss. Joleen, had changed my hair color to a light brown, almost blonde color. She had cut it so that I had fluffy bangs that hung just past my eyebrows, the sides and back were straight, with a slight inward upcurl causing my hair to frame my face, somehow making it look rounder, smaller, and softer than I ever would have believed. I lifted my hand to feel my hair and for the first time noticed my nails. Bright red and outrageously long. Miss. Joleen had done a fantastic job. She explained that the nails she had used were made of acrylic and would be very strong. She also explained that they were what she called fashion length, as per your instructions my love, and that I would almost need to re-learn how to use my fingers since the tips were now so much longer than they had been. I didn't care they were beautiful. "If I can learn to negotiate ingress and egress from an 8 foot high pick-up while wearing an evening gown, corset and heels, I can learn to master my fingers." I remember as my over-confident statement about my lovely new talons. I noticed your smile again my love. As if to say you'll learn, my little captive one, you'll learn. The time had finally come for you to allow me to don the gorgeous jewelry you had chosen for me to wear. From my small clutch purse I watched you remove the necklace, the bracelet, a ring that you had not previously shown me and a pair of long white satin gloves. I will never forget your response when I inquired about the earrings. You, my love, my tormentor, simply pulled my hair back over my ears and stated that my ears had been pierced and the earrings locked on while I slept. That was also when you informed me that my hair had indeed been permed, and my face had been waxed and softened so that I would not have to wear such a heavy coat of base under my makeup. Pierced ears, permed hair, long nails, high arched eye brows. How would I be able to return to being male at the end of the week? What had you done to me!? I was on the verge of hysteria. That was when you again took control my love. Once more you forced me to face the reality of what you knew I needed. You KNEW my love, that had you allowed me to believe that my transformation into womanhood was superficial and short term it would be of little real value to me. You knew that in order for me to end my confusion and face reality I had to believe it was real. I had to LIVE my fantasy, even if just for a short time. You brought me around as you had before, with a reminder that I had agreed to place myself in your hands, to trust your judgment, and to do as I was told. The mindset was complete. I could no longer question your judgment or authority. You let my hair fall slowly through your fingers until they were empty allowing you to reach for the necklace. I attempted to hold my hair up for you my love, but with those long nails I kept stabbing myself in the neck. Miss. Joleen, finally took pity on me and came to my rescue. The necklace was the perfect compliment to the simplicity of my gown. It's diamonds twinkling as I moved. I was then ready for the ring and bracelet, but you explained that the jewelry would be worn over my gloves as you handed them to with instructions on how to put them on. I know it should have been simple my love, but I had never seen gloves so long with buttons on the inside of the wrists before. They were so tight my love, and with those long nails, I was afraid that I might tear the soft satin material. I felt so helpless unable to complete a task as simple as putting on a pair of gloves. You knew I would have trouble. Letting me struggle before finally helping me and buttoning the buttons on each wrist. Only then were you willing to place the ring and bracelet on my hand and wrist. The contrast of the gold and diamonds against the white satin was astounding. If I was not in heaven I was as close as I had ever been. As a final gesture, my love, you kissed me, a lingering, passionate kiss that I wanted never to end. You told me how beautiful I looked. I took an opportunity to explore my satin clad body. It felt as though I were safely enveloped in a satiny cocoon, yet at the same time very vulnerable, weak and small. So much had happened to me that day, I knew in my heart that I looked on the outside the way I felt on the inside, and I now felt complete my love. The time had come leave Miss. Joleen's and I wanted to cry, but received a stern warning that tears would ruin my makeup. An occurrence that would, you explained, make you VERY unhappy. So I hugged Miss. Joleen, and demonstrated to her what I had learned about kissing during this very busy first day. While I waited for you by the door, I again listened to your conversation with Miss. Joleen. I know you wanted me to hear it my love or you would have had me wait outside. You knew of course that I would wish I had waited outside before you and Miss. Joleen had finished. TO BE CONTINUED?