The Tomboy Tapes
by Karen Elizabeth L.
It was going to be another one of those mornings at the breakfast
table, I thought as my mother and sister began arguing.
"Why can't you dress up a little bit for school Cindy," Mom sniped.
"It wouldn't hurt you to look a little more like a girl now and then
you know!"
"I look like most of the other girls mom," Cindy replied in between
bites of toast. "The days of wearing dresses and heels to school went
out with hoop skirts! Do you want me to look like some kind of freak?"
"I just want you to look your best that's all," sighed mom. "I want
everyone to see what a pretty daughter I have!"
"You're sweet mom," Cindy smiled as she chugged down her juice. "Sweet
but so old fashioned!"
As Cindy ran out the door mom had already turned her attention to poor
dad, hounding him about Cindy's looks and grades. "She could do much
better in school if she were motivated, I know she could be getting A's
and B's instead of the C's she gets now. If I could just find some way
to motivate her to dress better and work harder," Mom lamented.
"I understand dear but I can't suggest any new ways to motivate her
either."
Dad was just as upset as she was but Cindy remained cool and calm no
matter how hard they tried to change her. Sometimes it seemed as if
they were pushing a big mound of Jell-O, but that couldn't be right, I
thought, Jell-O could be molded!
Several weeks later I saw Cindy dumping several cassette tapes into the
garbage then trying to cover them over to prevent their being found.
"I've never seen you work so hard Cindy," I joked walking into the
room.
"What's up?"
"Motivational tapes," she sneered as she mixed up the trash. "A little
present from mom and dad. They figure that if I listen to them I'll
work harder in school and it'll even spill over into my homelife. I
sort of hate to disappoint them but they're not brainwashing me into
becoming some little 'Goody Two Shoes'!"
"Hold on a sec, I've heard a lot about those kinds of programs and
they're supposed to be really helpful! Why not try them and see, what
can it hurt?" I asked eagerly. It wasn't so much that I was eager to
help Cindy, more that I saw a chance to be a real pain in her side!
Cindy shrugged and pointed to the trash. "If you're so thrilled about
them help yourself, have I mentioned lately that you are such a suck
up?" she called, leaving the room.
"But a well motivated one!" I laughed as I cleaned off my newly
acquired treasures. Here was a golden opportunity to show Cindy up,
I'd just listen to the tapes myself and when our parents see my report
card I'll tell them about the tapes! I put them in the back of one of
my desk drawers so that mom wouldn't accidentally run across them, no
point ruining my own surprise!
I put the tapes on before going to bed but even with the volume nearly
all of the way up I had to listen intently to hear anything then closed
my eyes and went to sleep. The next morning I tried my best but just
couldn't remember much about the tape. I did know though that it had
been a very sound night's sleep and that I was feeling very refreshed
and anxious to get started!
"You're looking good this morning Jim," commented dad. "Ready for that
big test today? You need an 'A' to pull your grade up for the year you
know."
"Studied all evening dad," I smiled wondering what kind of an edge I'd
get from that tape I had listened to. "I can't wait to take it!"
"That's wonderful Jim," Mom said as she gave him a hug. "I'm sure
you'll get an A!"
"Suck up!" scoffed Cindy as she came into the room.
I just smiled and stuck my tongue out at her. I enjoyed being mom's
favorite and I wasn't going to start an argument with Cindy at
breakfast, that was mom's job!
Mom started up right on schedule. "How were the tapes Cindy, feeling
more motivated today?"
"They were great mom, I can't wait to get to school!" Cindy shot a
quick look at me to see if he'd give her away. We both knew the only
motivation for her to get to school was to see her friends but I'd keep
quiet for now! "Gotta run, nice chatting!" she called on her way out
the door.
Mom smiled broadly. "I think they're starting to help her already,"
she told dad. "I can't wait to see her report card! This is going to
be a turning point in her life, I just know it will."
"Yes dear, I'm sure they've helped," he mumbled through his newspaper.
"What was that about her report card?"
"Go back to your paper dear," Mom said with an exaggerated sigh. "I'll
let you know when your daughter makes the Honor Roll!"
"Betcha I get there first!" I offered as I took small bites of toast
and sipped at my juice. Somehow I just wasn't in my usual hurry to
gobble down breakfast, must be that tape calming me down for the test
today, I thought to myself.
Mom smiled sweetly and patted me gently on the back. "We're sure you
can make it dear, it's Cindy we're worried about. Of course with those
tapes she may just pass you up!"
"Fat chance mom." I was suddenly defensive. "Cindy will never be as
good as me so passing me up would be a fantasy!"
"Give your sister a chance Jim." Dad suddenly put down his paper.
"You'll feel awfully silly if she beats your grades so don't start
gloating."
"Stupid too," I mumbled under my breath.
Dad took a swipe at me with his rolled up paper. "I heard you, now
shut up and give the girl a chance. We went through a lot of trouble
getting her to listen to those tapes and we're expecting to see
results."
"All right, I'll keep quiet," I replied as I sulked out the door
feeling very let down. "But don't expect too much, we all know there
isn't that much to work with!" I wanted to add. "Especially since
she's not even listening to them," I thought to myself, but I'll just
bide my time!
"Thanks for not giving me away at breakfast," Cindy told me later.
"That was very sweet of you."
"I didn't do it for you," I insisted. "If I gave away the story mom
would've taken the tapes away from me and I want to keep them."
"Hey I don't care either," Cindy shrugged as we walked to class.
"You're welcome to all the stuff mom and dad give me. Maybe there will
be lessons on being a better suck up in one of them!" She laughed
derisively.
"Suck up? Me?" I exploded angrily as my face becoming to burn. "Dad
rushed to your defense at breakfast this morning, so maybe you've been
doing a little sucking up yourself? Playing the old 'Daddy's Girl'
routine again?"
Cindy laughed and brushed her hair back with a quick flick of her
wrist. "A little kiss goes a long way with guys, especially when it
comes from their daughter!"
"I bet them that you'll never be nearly as good as I am and kisses to
dad won't make a difference," I scoffed unable to help but feel that
she was somehow cheating. "I'm smarter, more motivated and with those
tapes I'll pass you in a flash!"
"Don't care, I'm still way prettier than you!" she laughed as she threw
back her head and fluffed her hair.
Weeks went by with Cindy and mom still occasionally arguing over
breakfast. Cindy was a slacker, there was no doubt about that but her
grades weren't that bad. They both knew that the argument had deeper
meaning for mom. Cindy had never been the sweet little girl of mom's
dreams, she despised baby dolls, and fought being dressed up in pretty
outfits even as a child. Even if Cindy had made the Honor Roll mom
would not have be satisfied unless Cindy accepted the award in a
beautiful gown!
"Are you doing better in school Cindy?" Mom would ask in an innocent
tone.
"School still sucks mom," Cindy would nonchalantly shoot back to mom's
horror.
"Sucked then, sucks now, and it will go on sucking forever!"
"I saw a really cute outfit at the mall yesterday honey," Mom would
venture in a vain attempt to move the conversation around to what she
really wanted to talk about. "Maybe I'll pick it up for you, it would
make a nice school outfit."
"Got enough jeans and stuff mom thanks," Cindy would shoot her down in
flames. "Besides I'm not going to school in one of those 'Little Miss
Muffet' outfits you like so much. Too frilly for me!"
Suddenly a picture of a frilly dress with puffy sleeves and a full
skirt popped into my head. "Such a pretty outfit," I found myself
thinking. "Cindy's so lucky and she just doesn't realize it! I'd kill
for a dress like that."
I nearly choked on my milk as I struggled to regain my thoughts. "What
made me think something that crazy?" I wondered. "Why would I want to
wear a dress?"
"What's your problem?" Cindy asked. "Thinking of getting one of the
cheerleaders into an outfit like that? I'd bet you'd love that!"
"I wasn't thinking anything at all!" I insisted, afraid that somehow
she knew about the words that wouldn't go away. "But now that you
mention it mom's right, you would look nice in a pretty outfit like
that. It wouldn't hurt to look a little more like a girl you know!
Think of how nice you'd make mom feel."
"If you're so concerned about mom's feelings why don't you take the
job?" Cindy shot back maliciously.
"What job, what are you talking about?" I asked puzzled that I had
somehow lost track of the conversation.
"Daughter of the family!" laughed Cindy as she waved her hand towards
me.
"There you go mom, your very own sweet little girl just waiting for you
to dress her up in a pretty little dress with patent leather shoes, a
little purse and gloves. You two could have a great time shopping for
cute little party dresses!"
"You're nuts!" I shouted ready to reach across the table at her.
"You're a sicko too talking about stuff like that! It's just that.....
oh forget it!"
Cindy looked at me strangely for a second or two before rushing off to
meet her friends.
I suddenly had a terrible feeling in my stomach. "How did I let myself
get involved in a discussion about my sister's wardrobe, I must be
losing my grip!"
"Gotta roll," I blurted, grabbing my books and running out the door. I
pushed myself to think of an upcoming trigonometry test to prevent
those strange thoughts from returning.
"Here ya go Jim," Cindy announced as she tossed several new tapes onto
his bed a few days later. "Mom's motivational series, part two!" She
laughed as she threw herself into a chair.
"I don't know if I want these after our argument," I said even as I
pulled the tapes towards me. "You were awfully nasty to me that
morning you know."
"You're breaking my heart Jim," Cindy sneered. "I seem to remember
that you jumped on mom's side and took a cheap shot at me! Now you've
got the nerve to sit here and pretend you're precious little feelings
have been hurt. Bummer!"
"But honestly Cindy," my voice took on a tone of sadness, of being
misunderstood, "I was really trying to help you, you could look so
pretty if you got dressed up once in a while..."
Cindy dropped to her hands and knees and began scouring the room.
"Come on out, I know you're here," she called out.
"I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you if you don't mind!"
I shouted as Cindy continued her searching. "What in the world are you
doing?"
"Looking for mom of course," she grinned. "I know she's hiding here
somewhere, I can hear her! I can't figure out how she got your mouth
to move as if it were really you talking but I am impressed!"
"Get out of here you idiot!" I screamed as I finally lost my patience.
"You're too stupid to realize how nice you could look and how happy
you'd make mom!"
Cindy turned and smiled. "The job's still open and you can help
yourself to any dress in my closet!"
As she slammed the door behind her I threw myself on my bed and fought
back the tears. Cindy was right, I had sided with their mother against
her but why? It wasn't even my usual cheap shot at her, I was really
trying to help! Now though Cindy thinks I should be some kind of sissy
running around pretending to be a girl and if that's not bad enough
there are those thoughts!
The thoughts kept popping into my head at the most inopportune times,
just that past week I had been in the middle of a History test on
Victorian England and couldn't seem to force a picture of myself all
done up in a pretty lace dress with a floppy hat and parasol from my
mind.
Not long afterwards I began to let my hair grow even though my parents
badgered me daily to get it cut.
"I think I look good with long hair mom," I patiently explained. "Lots
of guys wear their hair long and some even pull it back in sort of a
ponytail! It looks really great and it's the latest style."
"The latest style for boys is to look like girls?" Dad asked with
barely concealed scorn. "Sounds great, first you got an ear pierced
and now you're letting your hair grow. Are you nuts or what?"
"Gotta keep up with things dad or I'll end up as a nerd."
"You already are a nerd," laughed Cindy. "Now you're just a funnier
looking nerd!"
"Enough from both of you," scolded mom. "Jim, If you're going to have
long hair you better make sure it's kept neat and clean or I'll cut it
off while you sleep! And Cindy, listen to those tapes, I don't plan on
throwing money away!"
"Don't worry mom, I'm making good use of them!" Cindy assured her after
a quick glance my way. I knew that I wasn't about to call her a liar,
I enjoyed the tapes far too much to cut off my supplier.
"And I'll keep my hair nice mom, I promise," I added feeling relieved
that I could let my hair grow. Lately having long hair had become very
important to me but I just couldn't seem to focus on a reason.
"Maybe," I thought to myself, "I'm just trying to outdo Cindy again by
showing her that I could look good in long hair when she insisted on
keeping hers short." What I couldn't bring myself to admit though were
the thoughts I was having of how pretty I would look with long curly
hair!
The arguments between my sister and mother continued on as did the
tapes which as far as I was concerned kept getting better and better.
The last bunch promised motivational messages mixed in with songs from
some of the hottest rock groups, I would spend hours playing the tapes
over and over while studying or drifting off to sleep.
I kept waiting for my grades to take a giant leap forward, after all I
played the tapes religiously and mom had promised Cindy they'd make a
big difference in her life if she only relaxed and let the messages
work. I 'd spent many an evening with just a small light on in my
room, headphones clamped to my ears, relaxed, listening, absorbing, and
waiting.
One reason I concentrated so hard on those tapes was because those
goofy ideas kept coming back to me, you know the ones about wearing
pretty dresses and having long curly hair. No matter how much I
concentrated on those tapes though the thoughts kept coming. One day I
was reading a newspaper and suddenly find myself drawn to an
advertisement for girl's clothes. I stared at that page for five
minutes straight and when I was finally able to put it down I had an
overwhelming urge to put on some of my sister's clothes!
Luckily no one was home and I quickly raced upstairs and threw open the
door to Cindy's closet. There, pushed to the back I saw what I wanted,
a simple, pink minidress that Cindy had worn once when dad took us out
to celebrate a promotion at work. I grabbed the dress and quickly ran
back to my room and locked the door.
I swiftly removed my shirt, undid my belt, unfastened my jeans and
stepped out them. My heart was pounding and my hands were shaking as I
pulled Cindy's dress over my head then tugged it over my hips. Just as
I finished adjusting it I was overcome with the most wonderful,
peaceful, feeling I'd ever know. I stared at myself in the mirror,
unable to move, unwilling to change. "This is Heaven!" I thought.
I must have worn that dress for nearly half an hour. I practiced
posing in different positions, walking, and sitting until just as
suddenly as the urge hit me to put it on I felt that I had to take it
off. I couldn't stop for a second until I had the dress safely back in
Cindy's closet and had my pants back on. My heart was still beating
wildly and my hands were sweaty and shaking. I couldn't believe that I
had actually put on one of Cindy's dresses but my unbuttoned shirt and
loose belt were proof that something terrible had happened. Or had it?
I just wasn't sure and it was driving me mad!
After that I found myself doing strange things that made me think I was
going nuts. One day I was taking a shower and reached to shut the
water off only to pick up the razor Cindy used to shave her legs. I
stared at the razor and then at my legs. Suddenly I was disgusted by
the hair on my legs, lathering up with a bar of soap I sat down on the
side of the tub and removed every strand of hair from my ankles to my
butt! Whatever demon was possessing my mind wasn't satisfied though
and without giving it a second thought I shaved my underarms too!
I ran my hands along my now smooth legs and admired the shapeliness I
never before realized they had. They were smooth, silky, very pretty
and I was very happy! I smoothed lotion over them to help keep my skin
soft and silky then carefully patted myself dry with the fluffiest
towel I could find before reluctantly pulling on my briefs and jeans.
It wasn't until I was sitting on my bed putting on a pair of socks that
I realized with horror what I had done!
"What's wrong with me?" I wondered as I absentmindedly counted the
strokes of the brush through my hair. After it happened I was sure
that everyone I met could somehow tell that I tried on my sister's
dress, fortunately I quickly realized that there was no way for that to
be possible. It happened in the privacy of my room, I took it off and
put it away again and there was nothing left to show for it, I was
safe. Or at least I was until now!
Now I'd be stuck wearing long pants even though the weather was warming
up and everyone else would be wearing shorts. I was stuck until the
hair on my legs grew back, if it ever would! If that wasn't bad enough
there was always the problem with my underarms, if I wore my favorite
muscle shirts, I couldn't raise my arms lest my girlish underarms be
seen. "Boy, I really screwed up this time," I thought as I began my
hundred strokes on the other side of my head. Once I finished my daily
brushing routing I gathered my hair and pulled it back into a ponytail.
"Too bad I can't use one of Cindy's scrunchies to hold my ponytail," I
thought to myself as I put a rubber band around it.
"These rubber bands are giving me split ends."
At school I tried to concentrate on what was going on in class but I
kept getting distracted by the girls in my classes. I couldn't stop
staring at some of them, especially if they wore a skirt or dress! I
didn't care what Cindy said about not wearing dresses to school, these
girls wore them and they looked great! Judging from the way they acted
they really seemed to enjoy being dressed up, they walked differently,
they sat differently, everything they did seemed so feminine that it
drove me wild and to my amazement jealous!
I had to be crazy! I'm supposed to be a normal teenage boy lusting
after pretty girls yet more and more I was envious of their pretty
clothes, the way they wore their hair, and the way they moved. I
wanted to be just like them, to have long, pretty hair, to wear pretty
dresses and nylons, to tantalize with a slight scent of my perfume. It
was insane, positively insane but I couldn't control the feelings
building up in me, I wanted to be the daughter mom always wanted Cindy
to be! I wanted to wear pretty dresses to school, to do my nails in
pretty colors, I wanted to experience the delightfully wonderful world
of a pretty young woman!
One day in school there was a pep rally and the cheerleaders were
allowed to wear their uniforms to class. I was in Hell as I watched
those pretty girls in their short skirts walking down the halls
laughing and having the time of their lives. Why was I stuck in these
awful pants and plain shirt when I should be wearing something colorful
and pretty? I had to do something about it but until I got home I
would have to endure the torture of seeing these girls so self
confident in their femininity practically daring me to join them!
I couldn't begin to figure out why I felt the way I did, I never
noticed those things before but suddenly they seemed so important to
me! I tried to force the thoughts out of my mind but as before they
came right back, stronger each time. One day I walked into the house
after school and was relaxing with a sandwich and cold glass of milk
when I was overcome with a strange feeling.
No one was home but I'm not sure that would have made a difference, I
had something to do and I'd simply die if I couldn't get it done! I
went straight to Cindy's room and quickly pulled the pink dress from
its exile at the back of her closet. This time though I wasn't going
to rush back to my room to try it on as I had many times in the past
few weeks, this time I was going to do it right, the way Cindy should!
I opened every drawer in her dresser until I found exactly what I
wanted, a pair of pretty satin panties that still had the tags on them,
a bra, white pantyhose that Cindy had worn once, and a white half slip
trimmed in lace. Carefully cradling my treasures I hurried off to my
room before I came to my senses and put everything back.
Just as I had done so many times in the last few weeks I locked my door
and carefully checked to make certain that it couldn't be opened. I
considered pulling my drapes shut but there aren't any other houses
close enough for anyone to be able to see in my windows but the
possibility made what I was about to do all the more exciting!
I quickly removed every stitch of boy's clothing I had on then with
trembling hands I pulled the satin panties up to my waist. I had tried
on Cindy's panties before but they had all been cotton, softer than any
of my briefs but nothing special, just plain white cotton without even
a pretty little flower to brighten them up. Of course it felt very
exciting to wear girl's panties but the feeling was nothing compared to
what was happening to me now. The satin was so soft, silky, and cool
against my skin that I had an instant erection! What a contrast,
pretty satin panties being pushed out of shape by something that they
were never meant to hold! I thought of an assignment I had recently
done for English class on contrasting things, too bad I could never
write about the contrast of the utterly feminine panties and an utterly
masculine erection!
It took a bit of work to get the bra on, this was to be my first time,
guess I was saving it for a special moment, but finally I had it hooked
in back and stuffed with some socks until I had close to what I figured
Cindy's bust size was. The pantyhose were tough, I'd seen commercials
and movies where a woman would start pulling on a pair but once again
it was my first time and I was scared to death of putting a run into
them, I'd never explain something like that away. I carefully inserted
my right foot then slowly pulled them as far up as I could before
putting my left foot in. When I finally had them worked up as far as
my thighs I hesitated for just a second feeling that I was on the verge
of taking a very important step. A deep breath and I slowly worked
them all the way over my thighs and unrolled the waistband, my heart
pounding in my ears, goosebumps popping up on every piece of flesh!
"What was wrong with Cindy?" I wondered. "I'm only partially dressed
and I can't believe how wonderful these clothes feel! How could she
prefer cotton panties to these dreamy satin ones I wore, why would she
ever wear socks when she could wear these stockings which were making
my legs look so pretty and sexy!"
The slip made me look much better hiding the unsightly bulge in my
panties. The pantyhose helped keep it in check but now with the slip
on I looked more like a girl with my pretty, nylon covered legs
extending beyond the lace hem of the slip. Even though I was still
excited I was becoming much calmer, more sure than ever that I should
dress this way! I lowered the dress over my head with all the
confidence and self assurance any girl my age would have. Every part
of my brain was now telling me that this was natural, I was a young
woman and this is how I was expected to dress!
Completely dressed I was shocked to see Cindy's reflection in the
mirror. I nearly panicked until I realized that Cindy wasn't in the
room, I was alone, the girl in the mirror was me! Sure there were a
few rough edges, Cindy had a few more curves than I did but I was sure
that with a little padding here and there I could easily look every bit
as pretty as Cindy did on those rare occasions when she did get dressed
up. I'd love to have her see me now and tell me that although I'm
smarter she's prettier, I'd show her who the prettier sister was in
this family!
My time in Heaven ended all too quickly, I had to hurry to undress and
put things away before anyone came home. I was sure of one thing as I
put the clothes away, something had gone terribly wrong, I'm supposed
to be a pretty girl, not an average looking boy! From now on I vowed,
I'd work harder until I could do everything a girl did and do it the
way a girl did. When I was finished my family would realize that
although Cindy was just an overgrown Tomboy I was a young lady and
they'd treat me like the young woman I was meant to be!
I admired myself for a little while until the feeling vanished as
suddenly as it had come on and I found myself utterly disgusted by what
I had done. I stripped off Cindy's clothes as fast as possible then
quickly donned my own.
After I finished putting my sister's clothes back I returned to my
snack but found it difficult to eat with the tremor in my hands. What
had happened to me? I had seemingly lost all control over my actions
but I was too ashamed to talk to anyone about it. Things kept
happening more and more after that, I had an unquenchable desire to
dress in Cindy's clothes, to shave my legs and underarms, and keep my
hair long and pretty and I wasn't feeling nearly as guilty about it
anymore! Keeping my legs and underarms smooth and silky became a part
of my daily shower ritual, brushing my long hair wasn't a job, it was
fun! I even graduated from wearing Cindy's clothes alone at home to
wearing panties to school! It was so scary yet exciting, I'd be
dressing after a shower and boom the urge would hit me! I'd wait until
Cindy was downstairs then sneak over to her room and borrow a pair of
panties. In school I had to be extra careful in the way I moved, sat,
or stood to prevent anyone from seeing the waistband of my panties
peeking over my pants. I was trapped, terrified that I'd be caught!
Every afternoon when school ended I breathed a sigh of relief that I
hadn't been discovered and vowed that I'd never do it again but the
next morning would find me once again pulling on a pair of panties!
The feelings had grown so intense that I started to dress more and more
often and wanted to wear different things other than Cindy's pink
dress. I tried on her jeans, her shorts, and her nightgowns, if it was
in her closet or her drawers I at least tried it on, sometimes as I did
with her panties, wearing them with my boy's clothes. It was nearly
impossible for example to distinguish her white socks from mine but it
made me feel like I was fooling people when I wore them instead of my
own! I'll never forget the first time I wore them instead of my own, I
was sure that mom, dad, Cindy, and the entire world could somehow tell
that I was wearing a pair of girl's socks but no one said a thing or
even looked at my feet!
After going through Cindy's boring wardrobe I somehow came up with the
idea of checking out my mother's clothes. She and Cindy were about the
same size and whenever she went somewhere special she wore some of the
most gorgeous outfits!
I figured if she hounded Cindy so much about wearing more feminine
clothes mom might just have some really pretty things stashed away in
her drawers and I couldn't wait to try them on.
I held out for over two more weeks before I finally had to give in to
the urges. Mom and dad were going to be spending a Saturday visiting
some out of town relatives and Cindy would also be gone until late
evening. The instant I had the house to myself I locked all of the
doors then ran to mom's room undressing as I went. When I reached her
closet I had a strange feeling of excitement seeing the dresses,
skirts, and suits of every color and style which called out to me to
try them on!
The first outfit I picked to try on was a dark blue dress with sheer
sleeves that mom wore when she and dad went out for their anniversary
dinner. The material was very sheer but there was something like a
built in slip under it to keep it from being totally see through. I
couldn't wait to try it on but I wanted to check out mom's lingerie
first in the hope I'd find something pretty to wear under the dress.
When I opened her dresser drawer I couldn't believe my luck, instead of
white cotton I was staring at satin, nylon, and silk in so many
different shades it was as I was staring at a rainbow! Almost every
pair of mom's panties were lace trimmed, some were made of nothing but
a stretch kind of lace, while others were so sheer and sexy I found
myself blushing! For a moment or two I was shocked to think that my
own mother wore these kinds of clothes then my heart began to pound as
I realized that soon I too would be wearing such feminine and sexy
items! I picked out several different matching panty, bra, and slip
sets to try on but the one I couldn't wait to wear was black,
beautiful, shimmery, silky, black with lace at the waistband of the
panties, lace at the bottom and side slit of the full slip, and if that
wasn't enough to drive me crazy the top part of the bra's cups were
nothing but lace!
I couldn't get out of my regular clothes fast enough, I was all set to
tear my shirt when my fumbling fingers finally undid the last button.
I pulled down my briefs but instead of placing them on a neat pile with
the rest of my things I gleefully kicked them across the room, I wanted
to have nothing more to do with such ugly, confining clothes, I was a
young woman exploring my femininity and boy's briefs had no place in
that world!
If I still had any insignificant doubts about what I was doing they
were erased forever when I slid the dress over my head, over my bra,
panties and a pair sheer black pantyhose. I wanted to run out into the
street and shout "I love being a girl" but I hadn't yet gotten the hang
of the black heels I had also borrowed from mom's closet.
I found a string of mom's pearls and after a few seconds work I managed
to get them around my neck and fasten the clasp. I slipped a delicate
gold bracelet on my wrist, fastened a dainty chain around my ankle,
then set off on wobbly ankles for mom's vanity and makeup across the
room.
I reached the vanity without breaking an ankle then smoothed out my
skirt as I'd watched girls at school do before sitting down. My
reflection in the vanity mirror was pretty good, I looked a lot like
Cindy might look in this dress without makeup on, but that wasn't good
enough for me. I wanted to be the pretty sister and in front of me
were the tools I would need to complete my journey from plain to
pretty. I just hoped I could master them without anyone discovering
what I was doing, I wanted to surprise mom with a daughter who was
pretty and feminine, a poised and confident young woman!
I spent the rest of the morning and the entire afternoon in mom's room
experimenting with makeup, clothes, and hair all the while worried
about the feeling that I was supposed to have been a girl. Fighting
the feelings wasn't possible any more, I was caught in a web of satin
and lace and there seemed no way out. I began to think of how happy I
would be to let mom buy me skirts and dresses to wear to school! Cindy
might rebel at the thought of wearing a pretty dress now and then but I
wouldn't! I would learn the proper way to dress, do my hair, wear
makeup, and behave as a proper young woman and mom would be so proud of
me!
I had so much to learn but I wasn't finding a whole lot of time to
study. Mom and dad were staying home more on the weekends and with
finals coming up Cindy was actually coming straight home from school to
study. Luckily I was able to sneak some of mom and Cindy's things into
my room where I hid them in the back of my closet. In the afternoons
I'd go to my room to study but it wasn't school work I was studying,
instead I was hard at work trying to master makeup and hairstyling.
One Saturday afternoon after finishing showering and shaving my legs
and underarms I was sitting on my bed combing out my hair as Cindy
walked past my room. "Your hair's getting pretty long," she laughed as
she watched me carefully pull a comb though his hair. "Almost ready
for some pretty ribbons and bows!"
Cindy's comments brought the old feelings crashing back on me, I
shouldn't want long hair and I certainly shouldn't have been wearing
the panties I had on.
I wanted to cut my hair off right then and there, to change into a pair
of boy's briefs and burn the panties. I wanted to, but then I thought
of how pretty my hair would look tied back in a ponytail with a pretty
ribbon holding it in place. I thought of how smooth and soft the
panties were and how rough and heavy my briefs were and it wasn't a
contest. I couldn't do anything about what was happening to me and I
knew it. Lost in thought I dropped the brush I had in my hand and bent
over to retrieve it.
"Those are my panties!" Cindy exclaimed as she spotted her satin
panties.
"What are you doing wearing my underwear you little pervert?"
"I can explain Cindy, just gimme a chance," I begged.
"What are you trying to pull?" Cindy asked suspiciously. "What are you
doing with these things?"
I spent a long time trying to explain things to Cindy who seemed to
have a hard time understanding what made perfect sense to me, at least
at that time.
Cindy stared at me as if I came from another dimension. "I don't
understand but I think you'd better tell mom. Dad's gonna freak,
that's for sure!!"
"I guess he will," I said sadly. "I can't help it though, I should
have been a girl, just like you. Only thing is that I really like
getting all dressed up and wearing frilly stuff, I want to be the kind
of girl mom wants you to be, all satin and lace and stuff!"
"So what do you need from me?" Cindy asked cautiously. "I can't do
anything about dad, I'm sure mom will be proud of you, surprised as all
heck but proud!"
"I"m having a lot of trouble learning to apply makeup and fix my hair,"
I told her. "I was hoping you could help."
"But you're a boy!" Cindy exclaimed, exasperated. "Boys don't wear
dresses, they don't wear makeup, and they don't run around in their
sister's underwear!
"Look, you and I weren't exactly close friends but I just don't think I
can handle helping my brother become a girl."
"Please Cindy, I'll be a great sister I promise," I begged.
"If you're that serious about being a girl, why not ask mom to help?
She knows more about makeup and hair styling than I do," Cindy
suggested. "You're going to have to tell her anyhow you know, why not
do it now and let her help?"
"You don't understand Cindy, I want to surprise mom. I don't want to
say anything to her until I can do everything any other girl can do,
until I'm as much of a girl as I can be!"
"But what if someone finds out about you? What about the other kids at
school?" Cindy challenged, obviously trying to weasel out of helping
me.
"I guess they're bound to find out," I shrugged. "But that's not going
to make any difference at all. I'm going to be a girl whether they
like it or not!"
It took a lot of convincing before Cindy agreed to help but it's not
everyday that a girl's brother asks her to teach him how to be a girl.
She didn't wear makeup so she couldn't teach me much herself but she
did promise to pick me up a few magazines and she even agreed to buy me
my own makeup! She was never this nice to me as her brother, it was
obvious that being her sister was going to be much nicer!
Mom wasn't letting up on Cindy, the constant battle over Cindy's
dressing continued but Cindy didn't complain as much anymore. She
simply take the clothes, jewelry, and makeup mom would buy her and put
them in her room for me to use. It was a good system, I got the latest
styles, makeup that was perfect for me and since mom occasionally
checked and found that the stuff was being used she eased up on Cindy.
Mom was happy, Cindy was happy, and I was ecstatic!
After a few weeks had passed Cindy seemed to forget her reservations
about turning me into a girl and became very helpful in my drive to
replace my boy's clothes with girl's clothes. The first thing to go
were my briefs of course, replaced by the prettiest, silkiest panties
Cindy could find for me. I replaced my white sweat socks with girl's
socks, bought several girl's tee shirts like Cindy wore and even found
a pair of girl's sneakers that were plain enough to pass as boy's
sneakers.
It was so wonderful for me to go off to school wearing panties, a
girl's tee shirt, girl's socks and sneakers, the idea that I was
somehow trapped, that I couldn't possibly change into boy's clothes was
both scary and exciting! No one ever batted an eye though, I was just
another long haired guy as far as my friends and family were concerned!
One day after school had ended for the year though mom started picking
on Cindy wondering why she'd spend so much money on makeup and pretty
clothes then never wear them out of the house.
"Don't worry about it mom," Cindy replied trying to avoid ruining my
surprise.
"Maybe someday when you quit bugging me about it I'll get dressed up
and let you take me shopping. Until then don't bug me!"
That was the wrong thing to say to mom and Cindy quickly found herself
on the receiving end of a tongue lashing that would have gone down in
the history books as the greatest of all time. She was being grounded
for a month, her phone privileges were being taken away, and there was
more to come until I spoke up.
"Please don't yell at her mom," I pleaded. "She's only trying to help
me surprise you."
Mom stopped suddenly, her momentum in the argument lost. "You're not
involved in this Jimmy, please mind your own business."
"That's just it mom, I really am involved and I'll prove it!" I told
her as I left the table. I went to my room and from a box I had hidden
in my closet removed pictures that Cindy had taken of me modeling
different outfits. Returning to the kitchen I laid them in front of
mom and proudly announced, "This is my surprise, the daughter you
always wanted Cindy to be!"
Mom studied the pictures for a few seconds then smiled broadly. "I'm
sorry Cindy, you look lovely in these. Were you planning on surprising
me?"
"Not exactly mom," Cindy hesitated for a long time then glanced towards
me. "That's not me those pictures."
"Of course it's you?" Mom seemed puzzled, glancing at the pictures then
at Cindy. Finally she took note of Cindy staring at me. "If it isn't
you then who is it?" she asked looking straight at me.
"It's me!" I replied filled with pride. "I hope I look good enough to
make you proud of me!"
"T..t..this is you?" Mom gasped as dad pulled the pictures from her
hand. "What in God's name are you up to?"
"Oh my Lord," Dad uttered softly. "Tell me this is some sick joke
you're pulling Cindy."
"I thought so too at first dad but Jimmy convinced me that it wasn't,"
Cindy explained, "believe it or not, that's Jimmy in those pictures."
Mom looked at me dumbfounded. "Jimmy?" She asked, her voice strained.
"You'd better have an awfully good explanation for this."
"How can he possibly explain these!" Dad thundered as he threw the
pictures in front of me. "This is sick!"
"I don't understand," I said sadly. "It just seemed to happen all of a
sudden, I don't know why."
"Will everyone please calm down," Mom interjected stepping between me
and dad. She laid the pictures in front of me. "Now young man would
you please explain why you're wearing girl's clothes in these photos?"
I thought for several seconds on just how to answer mom's question
before deciding not to drag things out. "I want to be a girl, that's
why."
"You what?" Dad asked seemingly stunned at my announcement.
"Are you serious?" Mom gasped. "You can't be serious!"
"A girl, you want to be a girl?" Dad was obviously shocked, his face
had lost all color and his eyes were bulging. "When did this happen?
You've never mentioned anything like this before."
"I can't remember wanting anything more than I want to be a girl," I
explained as best I could. "Maybe I didn't realize it before but now
I'm absolutely certain that I want to be a girl."
"But why?" Mom asked trying to remain calm even though she appeared to
be on the verge of crying. "What made you decide you want to be a
girl?"
"I don't really know how it happened mom, I tried to ignore it and be
like any other boy but I couldn't help feeling that something was
wrong. I started trying on Cindy's stuff and then I knew for sure, I
should have been a girl."
By now I was on the verge of tears. "Please daddy don't be mad at me,
I can't help how I feel."
Dad stared at me but the look of disgust was beginning to fade. "When
did you start thinking that you should have been a girl? What could
suddenly make a normal boy decide that he'd rather be a girl?"
"I'm not sure," I said as I wiped a tear off my cheek. "The idea of
dressing up seemed to come a couple of months ago and it just got worse
and worse. I tried not to give in but the feelings were just too much
for me, one day I was taking a shower and wanted to shave my legs and
underarms, before I knew what was happening I was wearing Cindy's
dresses then mom's underwear."
"Wait a second," Cindy announced, an odd look in her eye. "Mom, when
did you start getting those tapes for me?"
"I don't know," Mom replied offhandedly. "Three, maybe four months ago
why?"
"And they were just supposed to motivate me more in school right,
nothing else?"
Mom hesitated before answering. "Not exactly, school was just a minor
part of it, actually they were supposed to make a young lady out of you
but I guess they were a waste of money."
Cindy started to laugh and soon had tears rolling down her cheeks.
"No, actually they would have been worth every penny you paid for them,
if I listened to them!"
"I'm confused," Dad said. "Those tapes were supposed to make you act
like a young lady but you never listened to them, what's the joke?"
"I wanted to throw them away," Cindy laughed as she dried her eyes.
"But Jimmy stopped me, he's been listening to them all along! You got
the sweet young lady you wanted mom, it's just that she's your son!"
"Oh my God," Dad gasped in shock. "This can't be true!"
"I did listen to them," I agreed. "But they didn't seem to help my
grades at all!"
"There has to be some way to reverse this," Mom sobbed. "I never meant
to turn him into a girl, it was all meant for Cindy!"
"I know dear," Dad consoled her with a hug. "I went along with it to
make you happy. Don't worry, we'll find some way to fix it."
"What if you can't?" Cindy asked. "What then?"
Knowing what had happened seemed to strengthen the little resolve to
stop that I had left. "Please, there has to be a way," I sobbed. "I
was never meant to be like this, there has to be some way to change me
back again!"
"But you said you wanted to be a girl, I wish you'd make up your mind!"
Cindy sighed. "First you want to be a girl, then you don't, I'm
confused."
"So was I!" I cried. "Those tapes did this to me! I never ever wanted
to be a girl, it's not my fault!"
"Calm down, quit crying," Dad told me. "This whole thing is crazy but
there must be a way out. Just be patient and for God's sake don't let
anyone see you dressed up!"
Mom and dad contacted the company that made the tapes but they had
never faced a problem like this either. It turns out that the tapes
were a new addition to their line of products which were used to help
turn men into women! They were so successful with a line of tapes that
helped mothers turn their sons into sweet young ladies that they
branched out into tapes to help women due the same to their Tomboy
daughters! I was unlucky enough to have used a series of tapes meant
for a girl.
After numerous visits to Psychiatrists and weeks of testing mom, dad,
and I were called in to a counselors office and given the results.
After much research with the company that made the tapes it was found
that the tapes had an ingenious feature built into them which while
planting and reinforcing the suggestion of increasing femininity built
a defense against removing the suggestions! The counselor explained
that by listening to the entire set of tapes I had unknowingly allowed
this defense to complete its work and there was absolutely no way to
overcome it. That explained the gradual loss of resistance that I had
noticed, little by little the feature had broken my resistance and
changed my thought process. Having completed the change it welded shut
the door to the area that it had changed to prevent any reversal.
It was all very precise and scientifically done, I would never again be
able to go back to being a normal boy. For the rest of my life I would
feel out of place as a male, my actions would become increasingly
feminine and I would find myself drawn to feminine clothing and
lifestyle. If I expressed my feelings I would be a social outcast, if
I tried to suppress them there was no telling the extent of mental
problems I would experience.
I heard the counselor pronounce my death sentence. "The only thing
that I could possibly recommend at this point is that your son undergo
treatment for gender reassignment," he told my weeping parents. "It
would actually require very little adjustment on his part and would
avoid a lifetime of torment and mental anguish."
"Very little adjustment!" I screamed. "How can you say that, I'd be a
girl right?"
"That's right, but mentally that would not pose any problem for you,
actually you'd find it very pleasurable. Remember I told you that
mentally you'll be developing into one regardless of what you do."
"What would happen to me if I went through with this reassignment
thing?"
Even though I was becoming more and more interested in the idea by the
second I tried to seem turned off or at least neutral to it.
The counselor saw right through my act, smiling at me and my parents he
continued. "You would immediately be started on a program of female
hormones which of course will cause you to develop female secondary sex
characteristics; smooth skin, fatty deposits on your hips and buttocks,
breasts..."
"Breasts!" I blurted involuntarily. "I'd have breasts?"
"You'd have all the secondary physical characteristics of a girl your
age in about four to five months," the counselor said smiling. "You'd
look perfectly normal in a dress or any other feminine outfit you might
choose to wear.
"Frankly with your size and current level of development you'll become
a very lovely young woman."
"But what about..." I asked shyly glancing towards my crotch.
"I recommend that as soon as possible you undergo complete reassignment
surgery as soon as possible," I was told. "You'll feel much better
about yourself when you're completely female."
I couldn't believe that we were all sitting around calmly discussing my
changing from a boy to a girl as if we were talking about the weather.
It just didn't seem right to me, what about all the years I'd spent as
a boy, how could we just pretend they never happened? "I'm scared
mom," I said softly. "It's like planning my own funeral and I'm way
too young to die."
"Let me assure all of you that it's nothing like that at all," the
counselor advised us. "Jimmy, you'll still have your family, and in
today's society you'll still be able to do anything as a female that
you ever wanted to do as a male. You'll live the rest of your life as
a female but you'll have a life to live."
Apparently my parents had heard enough to convince them. "When should
he begin the change?" Dad asked after taking mom's hand in his.
"Wait a minute, don't I get a vote in this?" I asked surprised that
they had made such a decision.
"Think about it for a few seconds," I was told by the counselor. "Do
you really have any objections to becoming a girl Jimmy?"
It was more time that I really needed. "No," I sighed. "Not really.
I think it would be so wonderful to be a girl."
"That's what I expected given the amount of time the program has had to
influence you," the counselor said with a smile. "There are a few
details which I was asked not to divulge before you made your decision,
the company which made the tapes did not want to try to influence you
in any way. The tapes were designed with the intent of making Tomboys
into young ladies, they were never meant for use on boys. Your
predicament however provided them with an entirely new market, changing
males into females! You provided all of the testing they needed to
successfully market a line of tapes for that purpose and they want to
express their appreciation."
"They're happy about this?" Mom was puzzled. "What if we sued them?"
"That would expose your son here to a lot of needless publicity and
embarrassment. They're very willing to make Jimmy's life very pleasant
in return for his unexpected help in making the company unimaginably
successful."
When the plans were all laid out mom and dad were impressed and I was
amazed. I was going to be a young woman there was no doubt about that
but I would be a very well dressed and well educated one thanks to
monthly royalty checks.
"Wow, they've thought of everything haven't they," I whistled in
amazement.
"Not quite everything," laughed the counselor. "If they had you
wouldn't be here today!"
We left the office with a large packet of information detailing the
changes that would occur and the promises the company was making.
Maybe a normal boy would've been scared out of his mind over the idea
of permanently becoming a girl but by now I was not a normal boy by any
stretch and I couldn't wait to get home and out of my boy's clothes!
Cindy was waiting for us when we got home. "Well, what's up with
Jimmy?" she asked barely able to control herself.
"Jamie," Mom corrected her with a grin. "She's Jamie Lynn from now
on!"
"Are you serious?" she squealed in delight. "He's going to become a
girl?"
"We'll talk about it later Cindy," Mom told her as she took my hand.
"One tomboy for a daughter is enough, Jamie is going to learn to dress
right! At least she'll know how to look and act like a young lady
should."
"Oh wow!" Cindy exclaimed, following us to my room. "My brother is
going to become a young lady, this I've got to see!"
I took off my shirt and pants to change into a pair of Cindy's jeans
and one of her tops. As I was fastening one of the bras I had bought
for myself it suddenly occurred to me exactly what had happened. I had
spent months dreaming about how great it would be to wear girl's
clothes but now it was so very real.
I wasn't just going to dress up in some of Cindy's things for an hour
or so then change back, I was going to spend the rest of my life
wearing bras because soon I'd need them to support the breasts that I
would develop! Every morning from now on I would slip the straps of a
bra over my arms, I'd shave my legs and underarms every time I showered
and when I finished my shower I would pull on a pair of panties. Mom
was busily gathering all of my boy's clothes from my drawers and
closets. I wouldn't be wearing them again, ever.
I tied my hair into a ponytail and spent the rest of the afternoon
listening to mom and dad explain what was going to happen to me. I was
going to be a girl from now on I was told but for a few weeks I was to
wear jeans or shorts until mom and dad got used to seeing me as a girl.
Then I could wear dresses or skirts if I wanted to.
"There are a lot of things you'll have to think of from now on Jamie."
Mom poured some juice into my glass and set two small pink pills in
front of me. "This is going to be an everyday thing for you now."
I picked up the pills and looked at them strangely. They had no
obvious markings yet somehow I instinctively knew what I held in my
hand. "Is this what I think it is?"
"Estrogen along with a testosterone suppressant," was dad's
contribution to the morning's conversation. "One will stop any further
development as a male and the other will make a female out of you. In
about a month or so you and Cindy will be closer than ever before."
The weeks dragged by so slowly I was beginning to wonder if mom and dad
would ever let me dress up in something pretty. I spent my time
helping with housework, practicing feminine mannerisms, and signing all
kinds of forms which I never got a chance to really read, and of course
listening to a few more tapes to reinforce my new lifestyle.
Once in a while I got a chance to run a few errands with mom, I was
terrified at first but whenever people mistook me for Cindy mom quickly
corrected them and introduced me as Jamie. To those who knew about
Jimmy mom simply said that I had been suffering from a recently
discovered hormonal problem which made me seem like a boy although I
was really a girl.
Mom explained that it was thought that the best thing to do was to let
me finish high school as Jimmy before setting things straight. People,
especially women, ate it up! Instead of being considered some sort of
pervert I was first pitied then admired for having the courage to
become the girl I was meant to be! The story line was very helpful to
dad since now people felt sorry that he had lost the son every man
wants through no fault of his own while Cindy was considered the
perfect sister introducing me to life as a girl! A totally win - win
situation!
Since Cindy didn't have enough jeans and tops for both of us mom took
me out on our first mother daughter shopping trip to pick out a few
things I'd need. I borrowed a cute little clutch purse that Cindy
didn't use, packed a couple of tubes of lipstick, tissues, perfume that
I'd bought because I loved the way I felt about myself when I wore it,
a compact and blush for touch up work. I held the clutch purse
tightly, smiled and waved to Cindy and dad as if there was nothing in
the least bit unusual about what I was about to do then started for the
door with mom.
Mom must have sensed my true feelings or maybe she just heard my knees
knocking but she was right there beside me whispering encouragement and
helping me through the door. "You're doing just fine Jamie, you look
lovely," she told me. "Just relax and let your inner feelings take
over."
Of course mom was right, once I took a deep breath and relaxed all of
the feelings which the tapes had created in me took over. I was going
shopping with my mom to buy some pretty outfits, just like any other
girl my age I couldn't wait to get to the mall.
I found the dreamiest blue dress with an empire waist and embroidered
trim around the neck and arms within minutes of entering the first
store. I stared at the dress trying very hard to picture what I'd look
like in it.
"Don't just stand there, take it and try it on if you like," Mom's
voice broke into my concentration. "Take a couple of outfits with you
though, it's such a bother to get dressed and come out for more!"
"I can do that now, can't I!" I was overjoyed at the thought of being
able to go into a girl's dressing room to try on clothes. This was so
much better than trying to get Cindy to model for me!
"You certainly can Jamie," Mom smiled. "You have as much right in
there as any other girl!"
Mom's words of encouragement pushed me to new heights of shopping
pleasure, I may not have been a girl for long but I was determined to
make up for lost time! Within minutes I was heading for the dressing
room with an armload of skirts and dresses with one or two pairs of
slacks thrown in for variety!
I was heavenly to strip off my jeans and top then slip that gorgeous
blue dress over my head. It fit very well against my padded bra and
ended just an inch or two above my knees, nothing flashy just a very
tasteful and pretty dress that would look good anywhere. I smoothed it
out as the tapes had taught me to do then hips swinging stepped out to
show off to mom.
"That looks prefect on you Jamie," Mom beamed in pride. "With the
right accessories it'll be just right for some special event this
summer!"
"I was thinking about white sandals with a medium heel, possibly nude
stockings, Opal earrings, and a gold chain, what do you think?" I asked
as I admired myself in a mirror. "Too much?"
"Not at all," Mom assured me. "I think you have wonderful taste!"
"I can't wait to show you some of the other outfits mom, I feel just
like a princess!" I was bubbling over with joy as I hurried back to the
dressing room.
I modeled six dresses, five skirts, three tops, and four pairs of
slacks before I was through and if I must say so myself I looked great
in each outfit! One skirt was a gray, black and red check with wide
pleats that was a little shorter than any of the other outfits but I
felt it gave me a sexy look without being slutty so of course I just
had to have it! Mom said that with my legs it would certainly catch a
boy's eye which made buying the skirt a necessity! I hadn't mentioned
it before, not even to Cindy but I desperately wanted to have guys look
at me and to want me! In school I used to daydream about some of the
cute football players and what it would be like to be their girlfriend
and be held and kissed by them.
After choosing several outfits including a couple of pairs of silk
slacks, sundresses and shorts mom and I made our way to the shoe
department where I picked out several pairs of summer sandals, six
pairs of medium height pumps to go with the different outfits I bought
and a pair of white sneakers with pink trim. The sneakers weren't the
prettiest shoes I would have but I thought the pink trim would go far
in offsetting their dull white look.
Mom and I made a sales girl's day at the makeup counter when we
purchased a deluxe makeup kit for my dresser at home, and enough
foundation, powder, blush, shadow, and lipstick to that I could do
makeovers on every girl in my senior class. Mom thought I was going
just a bit overboard on the makeup but I assured her I'd need it to
match the many different outfits we'd bought for me!
Mom had saved the best for last, our final stop being the lingerie
department!
"Mom, I'm so happy I could cry," I whispered as we approached the racks
of silk, lace, and satin in pretty pastel shades.
I selected about two dozen pairs of panties in pink, blue, lilac, and
yellow. I wanted some of the sexy little bikini styles but mom said
that for now the full cut style would be a much more practical choice,
later, when certain physical adjustments had been completed the naughty
little bikini styles would fit much better.
I spared no effort to examine every style of panties and bras the store
had, I'd walked past these departments so many times in the past
dreaming of being able to take my time and shop for just the right
lingerie I wasn't going to be rushed now that the time had finally
come.
I found myself blushing as I held up a pair of very sexy panties, I
wanted to buy them but I still wasn't sure I felt comfortable enough as
a girl to be able to wear them.
"I think you may be rushing things just a bit Jamie, they're just a
little too much for a girl your age," advised mom. "Maybe in a few
years when you've found the right man and settled down, they'd be a
perfect treat for a romantic evening!"
"Do you really think that could ever happen mom? Could I ever really
fall in love with a guy?"
Mom smiled at me. "Since you started listening to those tapes, have
you noticed any different feelings towards boys?"
I could feel the heat burning up my face and knew I must be as red as
an apple.
"I was so upset at first," I told her. "Suddenly I was noticing how
cute some of the boys were and wondering what it would be like to be
their girlfriend. I didn't know what to do until I found out about the
tapes, I was so relieved!"
"And now?" Mom goaded playfully. "What do you think about those boys
now?"
"Some of them are stuck up jerks," I admitted sadly. "But others!"
"Others?" laughed mom. "Do tell!"
"Others," I mused. "I want to make them forget that there are any
other girls in this world! I want so badly to have them hold me tight,
kiss me, and make me forget that there ever was a Jimmy!"
"I think some boy is going to be very lucky!" Mom hugged me and
smiled. "I'm sure you'll be the woman he always dreamed about!"
We shopped a little more while I selected a bit more conservative
lingerie than I had first looked at then headed home where I spent
hours modeling my treasures for mom and Cindy, it made me feel very sad
but dad still wasn't ready to see me in anything more feminine than
slacks and tops.
I took my new pills every day and it wasn't long before I started to
notice small changes to my body and mind. My butt was beginning to
fill out as were my hips and my chest was becoming so sensitive that I
would occasionally get a cheap thrill from my padded bra rubbing across
my nipples! I hadn't needed to shave yet before I started listening to
the tapes and now the combination of blocking male hormones while
increasing female ones had teamed up to make it unnecessary ever again.
The changes to my mind started of course with the desire to wear pretty
clothes and act like a young lady but took an interesting turn once the
hormones had kicked in. Now I was feeling much more emotional, things
that had never entered my mind before were now important to me. I
started to notice things like the flower bed in a neighbors yard, the
way items were displayed in stores, and of course boys!
I had told mom when we went shopping that I had started looking at guys
differently some time ago but now guys weren't just different, they
were cute, well built, dreamy, and in some cases very desirable! To a
guy it may seem silly that a girl would take a little extra time in the
mall restroom making herself look good but when I was anywhere that
guys could be found I made extra certain that my hair looked pretty, my
outfit was perfect, my makeup just right, and that there was a happy
look on my face. I knew from personal experience that nothing but
nothing caught a guy's attention the way a smile would so whenever I
saw a cute guy approaching I always tried to smile. I didn't care if I
had just broken every nail on both hands, I was going to smile!
A few weeks after our shopping trip mom came into my room one Saturday
for a little talk. She solemnly announced that she felt that dad was
taking far too long to adjust to his new daughter and that we were
going to do something about it.
"I managed to talk him into taking us to a really nice restaurant and
then a show tonight," she announced. "This is going to be the night
when your father realizes that you are a beautiful young woman and he's
just going to have to accept it! I've already booked you with my
hairdresser for a complete makeover!"
"Are you sure this is the right way to do this mom?" I was barely able
to conceal my excitement, Finally I was going o show daddy the girl I
wanted to be and had become!
"It's the only way left now honey," Mom assured me as I climbed out of
bed tugging my baby doll nighty down over my panties. "We tried giving
him time but he's having trouble accepting you as a girl. You're never
going to be anythin