Pleading in Vain
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Not In Vain free porn video
Not In Vain
Copyright 2000 by Samantha Michelle.
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Standard warning and disclaimer: All characters are fictional. If
you see yourself, buy a new mirror, or get some help before it's too
late. Contains subjects some people may find offensive. If you are
one of them, why are your reading this? Protect your kids. If you
are worried about them reading this sort of material, please censor
free speech and use a safe surfing program such as net nanny. Or
better yet, teach them early and lovingly to understand and accept
different lifestyles. Before they learn they from bad experiences.
Or suffer from them.
Constructive comments appreciated. Please send comments to
[email protected]
Finally, this is not a happy story. If it makes any difference, I
cried as I wrote it. The characters are fictional. I wish to God
that the rest of the story was just fiction.
And so it begins.......
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I wiped the tears from my eyes, and stared at my parents across the
breakfast table.
"John, there was nothing you could have done." I stared at my plate.
She was wrong. I could have joined them. But I was too scared. "I
guess they are going to announce today what the suicide notes said,
and why it happened." I knew why, so did a few of the kids at school.
"They've asked all the kids and parents to meet at the armory at ten.
They canceled classes until Wednesday." Sharon had called last night
and told me about Jeremiah. I was sure Mom and Dad hadn't heard about
him.
I got up and headed towards my room. Dad followed. Since they had
learned that three students from our school had killed themselves over
the thanksgiving break, I was never out of their sight. I guess it
meant they cared. I sat on my bed, and stared at the wall. Rumor was
there were going to be counselors from the state her to help us work
though out grief. And maybe stop the bleeding. I glanced quickly at
my wrists. Mom and Dad would have gone off the end if they saw the
faint knife scratches I made on Saturday when I heard about Dave,
Jerry, and Melissa.
I wondered how they had gained the courage to end the pain, the
senseless, endless farce of trying to be someone other than the person
we were inside. I heard the doorbell ring, and soon Mom came up and
handed me a sealed envelope. "Shannon and her Mom dropped this off.
She said you would know what it's for." She stared at me as I opened
the envelope, looked inside carefully, then folded it and put it in my
pocket.
"Well, what is it?" I looked at her and the tears started again.
"Personal and private Mom. Don't ask." She and Dad looked worried.
I got up and found my best pair of jeans and a decent shirt. I even
went and shaved, as my Mom watched, and combed and braided my long
hair. We left the house at nine-thirty for the armory.
When we arrived the place was piled with wreaths and signs proclaiming
condolence. There was a big van from the state police, and one from
the Red Cross. And every ambulance from the surrounding area. When
we parked, I told Mom and Dad that I was going to look for some
friends, and they tried to keep me with them. "No, I'm safe here,
even from myself." Mom burst into tears in Dad's arms as I headed
through the crowd.
I saw Shannon and those few that remained of our group huddled
together like sheep waiting for the wolves. I joined the group hug,
and added my tears to theirs. Shannon asked us to listen up.
"Jeremiah's going to make it. They were able to stop the bleeding in
time." That got another round of hugs and tears. "He's in intensive
care and under 24 hour watch, but I talked to someone I know at the
hospital, and she said he will completely recover, at least
physically."
"Does anyone know what we are planning?" Alan sounded nervous.
"No, or I'm sure one of us would have been grabbed already." She
looked at me. "John, are you sure you can do this? You don't have
to. And you look real bad."
"I should have joined them. But I was too scared." Everyone looked
at me in horror. "I played with my knife all weekend. But I'm too
much of a coward." Shannon wrapped herself around me.
"Don't. Please, not you too."
"That is why I'm going to join you. No one even suspects I'm a part
of the puzzle. And if someone shoots me for what I am, then it's
done." It got really wet after that. We heard the announcement that
people should assemble inside. I found my parents, and joined them.
"Weren't Shannon and Allen friends of the three kids who..." I
nodded. "Why were you with their group? I've heard rumors that it's
because they're all queer that this happened." I looked at Mom with
hatred in my eyes.
"No, it's because people refused to accept who we are that they died."
She looked at me, not comprehending what I said. The school
principal called everyone to order, and began his speech.
"We are all here for a reason. A horrible tragedy has befallen our
small community, and our school. The tragic deaths of three of our
students. Some were your friends, and some even your children. And
although few know it, the near loss of another, Jeremiah Albright, who
was found by his parents before he bled to death." His voice cracked
"The doctors say he is going to live."
Mom and Dad hugged me, Jeremiah was a close friend of mine. "You
knew?"
"Shannon told his friends last night. But they are not letting him
have visitors."
After a long pause to let the information sink in, the principal
continued on. "They were all good kids, and to many of you good
friends. Three died and one was grievously injured at their own
hands." He stared at the podium, and was joined by a priest, and the
Baptist preacher. "And with very few exceptions, you are the reason
they are not here today. Their blood is on your hands." You could
hear a cricket over the silence.
Mom gasped as I and my friends stood up, and I pulled the envelope
from my pocket. Eleven of us made our way silently to the isles, and
placed a rainbow ribbon over our hearts. Crying, and barely able to
move, we joined together as we approached the stage. In single file
we climbed up, and formed a human chain behind the principal. He
stared at us, especially me, and appeared confused.
Shannon came forward, and handed him a note. He quickly moved away,
and motioned her to the podium. There were murmurs sweeping through
the gathering. Shannon wiped the tears from her eyes, and faced the
crowd.
"Principal McGee is correct. You, meaning the students and parents
here, and the police, and the other townspeople killed them. Just as
you would kill the eleven of us wearing these ribbons." She paused.
"We have chosen to face you, and our pain today. Dave, Jerry,
Melissa, and Jeremiah could face it no longer. There is a rumor going
around that our friends, and lovers..." Shannon's voice broke, and I
hugged her till she got her control back, "died because they were, to
put it coarsely, queer." There was a lot of whispering in the crowd.
"The truth is that they died because, like the eleven of us standing
here today, they were different." She paused, and waited till it got
quiet.
"I do not want to die like Melissa, who was my friend and lover. She
died because she too was a lesbian, and was shunned by her parents and
fellow students. I am also a lesbian. Which makes me no more, and no
less, than anyone here." There was a general uproar, which slowly
quieted down. "Dave and Jerry were gay. This is not new information
to many of you. They killed themselves because they loved each other,
and were unable to live with separation and ridicule. Your isolation
and ridicule." She waited until it sank in.
"Jeremiah was the captain of every sports team. The boy all the
parents pointed to as being a man's man." She paused "What is known
to but a few is that Jeremiah was wearing a dress and heels, had
painted his nails and put on makeup and lipstick so he could die as
the girl he always felt he was inside. He was not gay. He was a
gentle woman trapped in a he-man's body with no hope, he believed, of
ever escaping." She again paused until it was quiet.
"That is my speech, and eulogy for them, our friends and for a few,
our lovers." She looked to the ten of us behind her. "So far was we
know, we are all that remain of the students who are different.
Allen, Robert, Stephan, and Todd are gay." They moved forward and
stood together. "Emily, Francine, Rachel, and I are lesbians." They
moved to join her. "John and Kelley are transgendered. Which means
they are internally a different sex from their biological shell."
Kelly gave me a hug. I could hear my Mom wailing in the background.
"We are your friends, your children, your neighbors. We are just like
you, no better, and no worse. We live and love and care and ask
nothing more in return than your understanding and acceptance." She
paused. "And a minute of silence with which to honor our friends who
are not here today." She finished and backed away from the podium.
It was almost deathly still. I could see Dad holding Mom, and staring
at me.
Principal McGee moved to the podium. And waited a full minute. "I
think Shannon said it all. I hope to God we have learned something
from this. If not, their bravery and their friends' lives will have
been expended in vain." He stared at the gathering. Suddenly a young
girl got up, and came on stage. She joined Shannon's group. Two
more students got up, both older boys, and joined Allen's group. When
it was finished, there were eight more of us on stage. Gina, Lauren,
and Susan announced they were lesbians. Zachary, Brian, and Greg
announced they were Gay. Sam and Andrew joined Kelly and me.
The County sheriff came up to the stage, and took the podium. "With
the help of the school, the churches, and the State we have brought in
grief counselors, clergy, and mental health professionals to provide
everyone with help. It is free. Please, everyone, don't point
fingers. We can't bring anyone back. Lets stop losing those we
love." Shannon came over and gave him a hug. "I have talked to every
law enforcement officer in the county, and they will come to your
house and take you for help if it gets too much to handle. So will
any member of the volunteer fire department. And the principal says
he has the same promise from every member of his staff. Again, we are
here to help and listen, not judge." Both religious leaders repeated
the same message.
He left the stage. Principal McGee took over, and announced that the
PTA was going to provide a free lunch barbecue shortly, and that he,
his staff, and everyone who was here to help would gather outside.
"Please, everyone, stick around with your children, and their friends.
They, more than anyone, need your love, support, and understanding to
get through this." He turned off the microphone, and motioned to our
three small groups to join him.
He looked at us. "What you have done took great courage. Living with
your revelations will take even more. If any of you feel like you
can't go on, call someone and get help. Any time, anywhere." We all
gave him a group hug. I never expected to see him cry. But he was as
wet as we were by the time we left the stage.
Mom and Dad were waiting for me. They both looked frightened.
"Forgive us, we didn't know...." Tears were the one thing in
abundance today.
Finis? Or just maybe a new beginning?
Kierra
- 25.08.2020
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