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Looking Glass By Radioactive Loner Copyright 2000 Everything is done very methodically. That's the key, and it also gives a sort of sense of ceremony to this. First, I go over to my files, and I pull out the file folder in which I place legal documents. I take my living will and my last will out of the folder, and then put it back. Each movement is slow. Conservative. No wasted effort, no trembling, just simple calm. The documents are placed on my desk. The knife is taken out of my kitchen drawer. The bath is run. Slowly, I take each piece of clothing off, hanging up my slacks and dress shirt, tossing the undergarments into the hamper, as if they will be cleaned the next day. The knife is drawn across my wrists in a quick motion, and I close my eyes, my last sight being the billowing of a red cloud into the water... a sight I did not wish to see. The throb from my wrists is not incredibly painful, thanks to the hot water. And soon, consciousness fades. A thought idly crosses my dying mind that I shall finally soon have the answer that mankind has wondered about, and warred about, for ages... what lies beyond death. I do indeed see a white light, and feel myself lifting out of my body. The reactions are so universal that it's been postulated that they're biologically based. We'll see. The white light encompasses me, surrounds me, blinds me. And then for a moment, all is white. =-=-= And then I am looking at a computer screen in which words are being typed. "Dear Mom," they say. "How's Matt doing? I think it's so cool that..." What the hell? I think. The hands stop typing immediately. What, I hear a female voice say, did I just get startled at? But it wasn't said aloud. It was... Oh my God. Hello? I hear the female voice say. I keep silent. Holy shit. What the fuck. I'm going psycho here, the voice says, but it's trembling. No, you're not, I say. Who are you? The body screams aloud. Hell, yes, I'm going psycho. Hell with who I am, who the fuck are you and why are you in my HEAD, I hear her say. My name's Jeff. Jeff Kincaid, I say. I just... but then I trail off. I'm not ready to say that I... You committed suicide, she said. How the fuck did you know that? She sounds startled herself as she says, I really don't know. Who are you? My name's Liz. Liz Kincaid. Suddenly I realize something, and I feel ghastly. The body lurches with me as I position it to look around the room... the room that is my apartment, but just small touches here and there make it look homier, cleaner... and my eyes cast across to a picture across the room... A picture of a woman in a graduation gown, holding a protective hand around a young man a few years younger than her, her proud parents standing behind her. My parents. YOUR parents? I hear her say. What th... When were you born? I ask her urgently. February 19, 1972. Same day as my aunt. You're... me, I say. You're the woman I would have been. Holy fuck. =-=-= I look downward, and see breasts beneath a shirt. I begin to cup them with my hands, only to have my fingers seize up and stop. Stop that! This is MY body! Now, who the hell are you? I'm... my name is... You can't be... a quick rush as something is exchanged. Jesus, you are me. I just got the weirdest rush of thoughts. They're like these brief shots of... ...of memory. Yeah, I got them too. Jesus, this is not how I expected heaven to be. Heaven? You killed... yeah, you did. The bathtub. Jesus, why the hell did you do that? Absolutely none of your fucking business, I tell her, and send her a blast of anger. Listen, buddy, I hear. You're the one intruding on my brain space, fucker, so back off. I sigh and take a deep breath. Well, my mind does, anyway, and I think her body responds. I'm sorry. This is just really, really weird. I didn't expect to be in a woman's body. After... after that. Thought I was going to either just wink out, or I'd find myself before someone. Jeez. I hope to God this isn't permanent. There's a pause, then we both blurt it out at the same time. So you're a girl? So you're a guy? The chuckle escapes the body's lips. She continues. Yes, I'm a girl. You're what my life would have been like if I was a woman. I pause. Can we go to the mirror? I want to see what I would have looked like. The body rises smoothly and walks over to the full-length mirror, which is in roughly the same spot as mine. I marvel at the similarities of the room, briefly. I hear an amused 'hmph' come from her. So our bedrooms are similar? Sort of. But I am cut short as I catch a visage of me. She is fairly attractive, with brown hair and medium-sized breasts. She doesn't remind me at all of my sister, though. Or I don't remind me at all of my sister. No, *I* don't remind you of your sister. This isn't your body. Okay. Jeez, she says, having caught a glimpse of me. This was more than idle curiosity for you, wasn't it? I blush so hard internally that it actually comes through and colors her face. I... wasn't very lucky at love. I often deified the female gender. And so I often wondered... What did you look like? She asks me, then delves into my... Oh. Jeez, no wonder you weren't lucky at love. Did you kill yourself over that, you big schmuck? Hey! You know, you could have lost it. Don't delve into my memory for a few seconds and then think you know all of me. Fine. Then why don't we... and out of what I can only think was an angry, almost instinctual gesture, she comes at me, mentally. I feel a presence rush at me, and then... immersion. Oh... Holy... We're one. Exchanging memories at a blurring speed. How odd, to actually be able to 'point and shoot' when taking a leak! The unpleasant crawling feeling in your spine when you feel someone's eyes going down your back and lingering on you. The moment of fear when you contemplate whether they'll bother you. God, I never thought being sexy would have a downside. Are you kidding? But God. You operate on so little energy. It's like having to push something uphill... you have no breath. And the weird little pressures your body gave you... the feeling of a potbelly pushing against cotton. And a tie, guck, that's how that feels. Aw, *yowch*. No wonder you guys get crabby once a month. You've never had sex. You have... oh, my God. It *is* pretty amazing. That must be what heaven is like... feeling that way all the time. God, it's so fleeting a feeling for you! Maybe it would have been different if you had had a partner... everything is still so new to you. That's sort of sweet. I remember my first... Dad, Mom... How odd, that they're so alike. But you know a brother named Matt... And you, a sister named Alice. You got along better with Matt. I see. You had sort of a protective feeling going on with Alice that pissed her off. That's not as easy to do when you're a big sister. Another memory zaps between us. You have a Brian in your life, huh? God. Yet another constant. The redheaded Irishwoman... Irishman, she says, amused. ...that broke our heart. Except you got over her--I mean, him, better. She mentally snorts. You have to be kidding me. Guys are a little bit readier to escalate the relationship. Look again. And she shoots the full memory at me. And I experience what it is like to have sex with someone you love... from a woman's mind. The instinctual sense a woman gets when she has found the man who will love her and protect her and whom she can love and protect, too... God. It's such a connection, that wonderful act... Slowly, we unentwine. A little bit. I wonder why you're here, she muses. I don't know. This isn't how I expected the afterlife to be. This may be *your* afterlife, but it's not mine. This is my life. Unless we're getting into some really heavy metaphysical shit I'm totally not ready to get into. I don't know why I was sent here. Maybe to... no, that wouldn't make much sense. What? Well, it's amazing, what you've done with your life. And that connection. It's so glorious. Not just sex, but a loving relationship. I've never had that. I wish I had known what it was like in life. Maybe, I could have waited. I think I could have. And with that, darkness abruptly falls. =-=-= Liz Sheridan sits back in her chair. Jeff? No response. Jeff? Nothing. God, she prays. Let him be okay. =-=-= And my eyes open. And the water is clear, and tepid by now. And the skin of my wrists are untouched and whole. And my life stands before me, with all its possibilities.

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The title explains so much, but so little of my crazy thoughts, so please bare with me, as I do my best to explain my new found world of celebrity erotic fiction. Is there a after life there could be, or are we all reincarnated to live a new life after are death, let’s just say that we are reincarnated after each life we lived to live a new life, well that’s were things can get dicey, for do we look the same in are past life’s. In my theory of reincarnation we always look the same and usually...

Upon Reflection Ch 01 Through the Looking Glass

"Well I hope you're happy, Darren, because we're through, you stupid-head!" Maddie yelled, slamming the door to his dorm room and walking quickly back across the quad, trying to hold back her tears. Everything had been going so well with Darren, and when she had opened the door to his room and caught him with his tongue in Amber's mouth, and his hand exploring underneath her tight tank top, Maddie had been absolutely devastated. Darren and Amber had both jumped up when she walked in, and Amber...

Mind Control

The Looking Glass

I finally moved into a place of my own at the ripe old age of twenty-nine. After three weeks of waiting for credit checks and approval of references for rental, I was able to shift all my things into my new home. Although just a semi-detached old-fashioned cottage with a small garden and minimal rooms, having lived in only one bedroom at my parent’s house for years, it felt like a mansion. I loved the wooden beams and bricks walls, the log burner and even the old floorboards that creaked with...

Piece by Piece Chapter One Broken Glass

"Both hands on the wheel, Stan," I said as I looked over at my husband. "Relax," Stan said as he put down his phone. "It was just Maxwell telling me about the meeting tomorrow," he said with a smile. "Well, he can wait," I said looking at the icy road ahead. I was not too fond of this stretch of road. It had claimed many lives especially at this time of night. "You guys have your seatbelts on?" I asked our kids in the back seat. "Yes," they all chimed at once with slight annoyance. "I have...

Cheating

Piece by Piece Chapter One Broken Glass

"Both hands on the wheel, Stan," I said as I looked over at my husband. "Relax," Stan said as he put down his phone. "It was just Maxwell telling me about the meeting tomorrow," he said with a smile. "Well, he can wait," I said looking at the icy road ahead. I was not too fond of this stretch of road. It had claimed many lives especially at this time of night. "You guys have your seatbelts on?" I asked our kids in the back seat. "Yes," they all chimed at once with slight annoyance. "I have...

Cheating

Naruto Beyond The Looking Glass

As you stand on top of the Forth Hokage's head sculpture, who you found out was your father few years prior, you gaze at the village of Hidden Village in the Leaves. While a younger you would daydream of ways to become Hokage succeeding your great aunt Tsunade, the current you is more tempered. Probably due to the numerous hits you received on the head from that said great aunt. Or is she truly your grandmother thrice removed? Well, you don't really care as you would still call her...

A Bullys Comeuppance Part Seven Through The Looking Glass

Dear readers, I'm sorry I haven't been around these past few months. Various work, stress and family related issues have been causing all kinds of trouble in my life and as such I unfortunately withdrew from the community here on Fictionmania and on Tumblr as well. I burnt out on this story and didn't want to force out a sub-par continuation for the sake of completion. That said, I'm very pleased to announce that things are looking better for the future and I'm starting to get my...

A WellLived Life 2 Book 9 KamiChapter 19 Through the LookingGlass

October 28, 1995, Chicago, Illinois “So?” Kara asked with a smirk when I finally came upstairs from the basement. I took her hand and led her up to the bedroom so I could dress for the party. I’d decided, finally, not to bother with costumes. The kids would, of course, but I’d run out of ideas. Fortunately, my wives had agreed. Melissa had decided against a costume as well, and was dressing in one of the guest rooms. “We exchanged very good shoulder rubs and I held her in my arms in the...

A WellLived Life 2 Book 6 SamanthaChapter 15 Like Sands Through the Hourglass

August 4, 1992, Chicago, Illinois “Boss, Penny just called!” Terry grinned from my doorway on Tuesday morning. “And you’re standing there, why?” I chuckled. “Call when Amber has a little brother or sister!” “I will!” he grinned. I picked up the phone and dialed Kimmy’s desk to let her know so she could arrange for flowers, and also record Terry out on ‘«pappaledighet»’. I finally heard from him about 8:30pm that Amber had a baby brother, Andrew, who they would call Andy. I called Kimmy...

ConvergenceChapter 19 Sand in the Hourglass

Professor Bran Hawthorn silently cursed the delay caused by Building Security. He rubbed at his eyes, tiredly, waiting for the beep that meant he was allowed to enter the building. For the umpteenth time, he questioned his decision to take a sabbatical from Rice University to work in the Albuquerque labs. However, Kim said she needed him. Bran hadn’t been able to deny his niece anything since the day she was born. He snorted derisively at himself. “Beep,” the small speaker announced,...

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