Girl-e (Part 7 And Conclusion) free porn video

Girl-e by Paul1954 (c) Part 1. Man On A Mission! Part 2. A Wolf In Ewe's Clothing Part 3. From Haven To Hell Part 4. A Voice From The Past Part 5. A Sheep in Sheep's Clothing Part 6. Fools Rush In Part 7. Where Angels Fear To Tread Epilogue * * * * * * * Part 7. Where Angels Fear To Tread I had spent a fitful night tossing and turning, but I had a lot to contemplate. As unlikely as it seemed, last night might have been my last night as a girl if everything went well today. Even if it didn't I would at least have the satisfaction of seeing my tormentors caught and brought to justice. I thought back to Jackie and what I had told her before she left last night. She knew that I would be going after the gang in the morning and had bidden me a sad farewell that had made me feel very emotional once again. This time though I managed to maintain better control of myself and finally took myself to bed, hoping that the police would not get to the gang before I did, because I still wasn't sure what time they would be going in. That question was answered though when I listened in to Louise as she answered a late night phone call. I had guessed that it might have been Phil and I was right as I heard her reassure him that I would be in school tomorrow which would keep me out of the way for what appeared to be a mid-morning raid. I was about to prove her wrong though, for I had no intention of going to school today, even though I was dressing myself in my school uniform. "Come on Fiona, you're going to be late if you don't hurry up. Do you want me to give you a lift"? "No thanks aunt. I'm meeting up with Jackie on the way. I'll just finish this and I'll be going" I answered her, eating my bowl of cereal as slowly as I could and praying that she would leave. She had once or twice given me a lift on the two minute journey to school when she set off for her own job, having gotten back into secretarial work recently, as a way of supplementing her income. "Then come on, and I'll follow on behind you. I don't want any more reports about you being late again". I cursed myself for that late attendance just a week ago, never dreaming that it might have undermined my plans. "Okay, okay - I'm coming"! I had hoped to be able to change out of my school things and into something more casual before I left, but knew that I wouldn't have the time now. I didn't want to be too late getting to where I suspected the gang were operating in case I missed my chance of getting hold of some of the formula. It was only a slim chance at best that they would be where I hoped they'd be, and that I would have the opportunity to get some of it, but I had to try. I owed that to myself. A few moments later I was waving goodbye to Louise and heading along to high street on the way to school, hoping to find a taxi to get me across London quickly. I had enough money put by so that wasn't a problem. I soon found one and asked the driver to take me to Bermondsey, and was just about to enter it, when I heard someone shout my name. I turned around and saw another schoolgirl running up to me. "Jackie! What are you doing here?" I exclaimed, surprised to see her here because she should have been at school herself by now. "I couldn't leave you to do this alone, Fi. Us girls have got to stick together"! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so I hugged her instead and did a bit of both. I had been so worried that she wouldn't want to know me after yesterday's revelations that I felt a tremendous surge of relief and, dare I say it, love for her. With my feelings of love however, came concern. "Look, I really appreciate what you've done, coming looking for me, but I'd feel happier if you just went to school as usual. It's likely to be dangerous and I don't want to have to worry about you as well as myself"! "No, I've made up my mind. If you're going then I'm going as well. I was thinking a lot about you last night, and everything you've been through. You've been through a lot on your own, but I'm digging my heels in this time and coming with you". I knew her well enough by now to know that there would be no persuading her to see sense. In fact I was even thinking about aborting this whole trip, considering that I would rather stay as I was rather than risk Jackie's life. The decision was made for me though, as the cab driver would down his window. "Hey kids! Are you getting in or not? You're costing me money while you're standing there talking". I was just about to shut the cab door behind me and tell him to go when Jackie pushed me in. "We're in - now let's get going!" Jackie said to the driver, and before I even had a chance to stop him we had pulled into the traffic and were on our way. I looked at Jackie, aghast, and was about to admonish her when she held a finger to my lips. "And before you say anything else, you know you've got to give yourself this chance. You were hesitating there and you'll always regret it if you don't"! I looked at her in awe - it was as if she had read my mind. She was truly wise beyond her years. Without saying anything I held her hand and leaned back in the seat, watching the world pass by, but not really noticing. * * * * * * * Phil sat quietly in the back of the car with the other Fiona in his life, that being Detective Waters who had been appointed in charge of the case. He felt an inner tension from his divided loyalties as a professional and as a friend. He knew that even should they be lucky enough to catch the gang with some of the formula already made up that he would have to make sure that it was all gathered up and sent away for testing and as evidence. It left him in a dilemma though, because he knew that if he did so then Bill Cartwright would likely be gone forever. Hell, nobody but himself, Louise, and that Doctor from the clinic even knew he existed anymore! "A penny for them?" Detective Waters said to him. He looked at her with a puzzled expression. "I said a penny for them - a penny for your thoughts"! "Huh - oh that. It's nothing. Just pre-op nerves". "Well, that's no bad thing. It always gives you a certain edge I think" she answered, and then looked at her watch. "We'll be there in another five minutes. I just hope that he - Rachael - has got his facts right. There's a lot riding on this one"! 'Yeah - in the form of a promotion for you!' Phil thought to himself, a tinge of bitterness sweeping over him which he swiftly dismissed, not intending to let it distract him from what needed to be done. He looked away from her hoping, indeed, that they were timing their arrival correctly, and that 'Rachael' had come through with her information. The first 'appointment' was due for ten o'clock according to what 'he' had told them. They wanted to make sure that they were firmly ensconced in position before then so that they could catch them in the act and get all the evidence to put those bastards away for a long time. He would worry about Fiona after they had achieved that. * * * * * * * "I haven't been to this part of London before, except on a school trip once," Jackie said to me as we crossed Tower Bridge and entered South London. It had been the first thing that either of us had said since we had got into the cab and it broke the nervous silence that had developed. I felt guilty and scared for Jackie and, not for the first time, wished I had taken a firmer stance with her and forbidden her to come with me. I just hoped now that neither of us lived to regret my weakness. A few moments later we were turning behind the hospital and the cab driver was dropping us off about half a mile from where I was guessing that we'd find where the gang were operating from. "I feel really conspicuous walking along in my school uniform" Jackie whispered as we walking past a policeman. "Tell me about it!" I answered, knowing exactly how she felt and then some. I had half expected the policeman to ask us what we were doing here, and that was the last thing I needed at this moment. If we were taken anywhere for our 'safety' whilst they enquired about us then that I might have lost my last chance to regain any sort of male existence. "The last time I walked along these streets I was a nearly six foot tall man. I was scared of nothing then, and feared no one. It's hard to describe how different it feels, walking along in a skirt and a school uniform. I don't feel even half as brave now". Jackie said nothing but squeezed my arm gently in what I took as a gesture of support. How could she understand? She had no other frame of reference other than the life she had lived since her birth and could never appreciate in the same way as myself, I was sure, just how vulnerable and limiting it is to be female. These thoughts were forgotten though, as I turned off the main road and approached the group of warehouses where I was guessing sandy and co. would be based. I looked around for any sign that these abandoned buildings were being used but was distracted by Jackie again, squeezing my arm. This time though, she was asking me a question. "I don't understand - there doesn't seem to be anyone around. Why did you think they might be here"? "I've told you that I've investigated these parts before. Once, we had to search some of these buildings and they are in surprisingly good condition for the age they are. Last year, a consortium bought some of these out and started renovating them. They folded before they completed the job, but some of these warehouses had been almost finished. They were converting them into apartments, primarily aimed at businessmen who worked just over a mile away, in the City. I seem to remember that they were still tied up in legal wrangles and haven't ever been used. They would be the perfect place to operate from. A bit of cleaning, get the power and plumbing connected - probably illegally - and you could stay here for weeks and never be bothered by anyone. Nobody ever comes here. What better place could there be for them to hide out and do their business from! "Well I don't like it here - it's giving me the creeps"! "It IS pretty spooky" I agreed, again feeling vulnerable. We walked quietly along the alley way in an almost reverential way, as if any sound we made would bring those we were searching for down upon us. In truth, it might well have done. I looked at my watch and saw that it was almost half past nine now, and it was at that point that I heard a car approaching from behind us. "Quick - get out of sight!" I cried to Jackie, pulling her into a deserted doorway as I watched it pass. There was four people inside, including one who I was sure was a woman, and when I guessed that it had gone far enough past us I craned my head around the corner, just in time to see it move down another alleyway. Every instinct that I had gained from too many years on the force told me that the car was something to do with those we were searching for and, once again I pulled Jackie, this time out of the doorway. "Come on Jackie, let's go. I want to see where that car's gone"! We ran with the nimbleness and lightness of youth and reached the corner just in time to see the cars occupants emerging, just fifty yards ahead of us. "Back Jackie - back"! I hissed, stopping her dead in her tracks. We moved quickly back behind a wall but I moved my head around the corner again and saw three men surrounding a young woman. I recognised her, immediately. "Julie!" I gasped to myself. "Julie - who's Julie?" Jackie said behind me. "Julie Bradshaw, or Doctor Bradshaw. She's the one who offered me shelter and taught me the basics of how to be woman, when I was Amanda. This proves that we're on the right track and that they must be here. It's still a shock to see her here, though"! Jackie shook her head as we watched them head towards a doorway. "This is so confusing. I know you told me all about yourself last night, but I'm still finding it hard to think of you as this Amanda woman, and not as you are now, a schoolgirl". "You and me both, and yet you're not questioning me being a forty something year old man!" I exclaimed in surprise. "Of course I am silly - I just said this was all confusing! I DO believe you but you'll forgive me if I find all this just a little but hard to take hard at times". She actually caused me to laugh, albeit ironically, and this time I gave her a light squeeze. "Once again, you and me both. Now, I'm just going over to the door to see if I can get inside. You'd better stay here - these people are dangerous". "No - I said that I was going with you and I am"! "Just this once Jackie, will you do as you're told. I should never have agreed to you coming in the first place but since I did, you would be more valuable to me out here. The police should arrive soon if I've worked this out right, and if I'm not back by the time that they do, then you can tell them about me. Deal"! She hesitated, not liking me telling her what to do, but eventually she capitulated. "Okay - deal" she said, nodding. I just about managed to stop myself from sighing out aloud with relief, and then carefully made my way past the car and into the doorway where I had seen the cars occupants enter. It looked like most of the other doorways I had seen - abandoned and strewn with dust. The door-handle was clean however, betraying the fact that it had been used recently. I listened for a moment, and once I was satisfied that none of those I had seen were still here I turned the handle, surprised but relieved that the door swung open as I pushed it. Maybe the security here had gotten lax; if so then it would help my cause. I walked carefully up the stairway in front of me, starting to feel nervous now, and also a little ridiculous because of the way I was dressed. Imagine, a schoolgirl wearing a school uniform - skirt, white stockings, blazer and small tie - thinking that she could apprehend a gang of dangerous criminals. It was like something out of the comic books I had used to read as a child. I was also now acutely aware that I had no real plan on what to do once I found them. In my eagerness to take this chance, identifying their whereabouts and giving myself some sort of opportunity was everything. I would never have made that mistake as Bill Cartwright, police sergeant! A shiver passed though me as I worried whether the physical changes I had undergone altering the way that I thought. Maybe living the life of a teenage girl for so long had influenced my mind, and was bringing it more in line with my body? I suppose that wouldn't have been surprising having had to view life from a girl's viewpoint for so long, but that line of thought wouldn't do me any good now. It would also be irrelevant if I accomplished my mission, so I pushed it to the back of my mind and continued upwards to the top of the stairs. As I reached the top I saw a hallway and slowly made my way along it until I heard the sound of voices coming from a room just in front of me. I stopped and tried to listen to what they were saying for a second. There seemed to be some sort of argument going on between whoever was in there, and one of the voices was that of a woman. I presumed it must have been Julie, unless there was someone else involved. Something told there was no other woman, however. This had to be her! My intense concentration proved to be my undoing. I had become so engrossed in trying to hear what they were arguing about that I forgot that there might have been others on premises, a fact that was soon confirmed as I felt a pair of strong hands clamp down on my shoulders. "Well looky what we've got here!" a burly man said as he pushed me into the room from where I had heard the voices emanating. I was so surprised that I only barely managed to register the fact that apart from my captor, and myself there were two men and a woman already in the room, no doubt those I had heard arguing. I also confirmed my suspicions that the woman was, indeed, Julie. I grimaced as my arms were twisted behind my back and I was forced down onto the floor. "What the hell is going on here?" one of the men said to my captor, his surprise at my unseemly arrival looking as great as my own. "I caught her snooping around outside. She looked as if she was trying to listen to whatever's going on in here" the man holding me replied. I lifted my head up and saw the man who I knew as sandy, remonstrating with the man who was holding me. "Give me a break - don't tell me that you seriously think a schoolgirl is spying on us. She's most probably just taking a day away from school and got nosy". "No, wait a minute. There's something about her that seems familiar!" Julie interrupted, staring at me closely. Oh God - she was going to recognise me! My changed appearance had proved good enough to evade the men who had been sent after me, but I knew that there was no way that Julie would be fooled - not after the time we had spent together. I tried to look away, scared to look her in the eye, but something drew me inexorably to her. "No ...no. It can't be - I don't believe it"! The sandy haired man looked at her, his face suddenly tense again. "What - what is it?" he snapped. Julie ignored him and continued to stare at me, her eyes opening wider. "Amanda?" * * * * * * * Jackie looked at her watch and was getting increasingly anxious. Standing around in the cold didn't help her disposition either. She looked at her watch and saw that Fiona had been gone for almost ten minutes now, although it seemed a lot longer than that. "Ohhhh - I wish she'd come back!" she said shivering, and then ducked back in the doorway as another car pulled up outside of the door way that Fiona had entered. She watched three people, two men and one woman, leave the car and stared in wonder as another two cars pulled up. This time they contained just men. She watched the newcomers cautiously, sensing that they were another group entirely, as they quickly moved out of sight. There was something about them, maybe it was the air of authority they exuded, that convinced her that this was the police, despite the fact that none of them was in uniform. She decided to trust her instincts and approach them. She ran quickly towards them and then stopped as she saw two of them pull out a gun and challenge her. "No, stop - I need your help!" she cried, feeling a sudden need to relieve herself. "Hold on - I think I know her" one of men cried whom, from the occasions she had seen him at Fiona's house, she immediately recognised as Phil. She sighed with relief as the woman standing alongside him who, to Jackie, seemed to be the one in charge, looked at Phil questioningly. "Just give me a minute will you, I'll see what this is about" he said to her. "Then you'd better be quick then. If you've put this operation in jeopardy by keeping something back there'll be hell to pay. We'll talk about this later". "Yes ma'am" Phil said, and took Jackie to one side. "You're Fiona's friend aren't you. You're going to tell me that she's here, aren't you?" he said hopefully, but knowing what her answer would be. "Y..yes. I'm Jackie - her best friend. She's inside, there" she said, indicating to the doorway, "and I haven't seen her for ten minutes now. I..I think something might have happened to her". "Oh good grief - I just don't believe this! How on Earth did she find out about this? No never mind, not now. Just keep out of the way and I'll see what I can do" Phil said, his career flashing in front of his eyes. He went back to the leader of the operation, Fiona Waters, and answered her unspoken question. "I think there's a girl in there, a schoolgirl. They might be holding her". "They've got a WHAT? Shit! That's all we need - a bunch of bloody schoolgirls running around our heels. That'll probably have tipped them off that we're here by now. We'd better act fast" she cursed, causing Phil to wince under her glare. She turned around purposefully, looking at the rest of her team. "Dave, Steve, Brian. You go round the back in case they try to come out that way. Justin, Wayne and Lee - you take the side". She looked at Phil and their driver. "You two can come with me - we're going in the front way". "But what about the plan?" Phil exclaimed, "I thought we were going to wait until the 'patients' turned up"! "That was until we knew that they might be holding a schoolgirl. Can you imagine the headlines if this goes wrong - they'll bloody crucify me"! Phil looked at her, noting how her language had quickly deteriorated from that of the prim college graduate she had seemed not so long ago, and hoped that she wasn't going to buckle under the pressure. Fuck political correctness - they should never have put a woman in charge of this one, he thought! "Wait a minute - what about me?" Jackie called after them as they made their way towards their positions. Fiona Waters turned back to her and put her down, in only the way that another woman can. "You stay out of this little girl - it could be very dangerous in there and it's no place for children. I don't want to have to explain your death to your mummy". Jackie bristled as she watched them disappear. She did not like being dictated to and insulted in such a way. How dare they talk to her like that? That was her friend in there! * * * * * * * I stared back at Julie with my worst fears realised. She had recognised me straight away, just as I knew she would. "It is - it is you. But why Amanda - why are you dressed like a schoolgirl"? My humiliation knew no depths at that point, as sandy laughed and then walked over to me. "My, my - how you've changed Sergeant Cartwright, or should I say Amanda Bradshaw. I must say, your new guise suits you". He turned around to look at Julie and his partner. "Don't you see - this is how she's been hiding out, right under our noses. None of those we had searching for Amanda had the wit to realise how they were hiding her". He then turned back to me, his eyes blazing with ill-disguised fury. "Acting the schoolgirl was brilliant. You must have been laughing at us. One of my men even came and spoke to you, didn't he"? I said nothing. There was no point in trying to deny who I was, or had been. I had been caught and would now pay the consequences, which I strongly suspected would prove to be fatal for me. I then gasped as I remembered that Jackie would still be outside, waiting for my return. I just prayed that she would do as I asked and call the police rather than follow me here. I should never have let her badger me into coming here. I didn't want them to get their hands on her as well. There was no telling what they might do to her! "I don't know how you found out about us being here" he said, looking across at Julie who was shaking her head, "but I would bet anything that you're here on your own. I just can't believe that the police would let you come in here like this, not unless this was a trap. Nevertheless, I can't take that chance. We'd better cancel today's patients I think". "But I've already prepared the solution, and it doesn't come cheap" the main standing behind him in surgical garb reminded him. "Damn!" sandy replied, and then looked back at me and smiled, although his smile bore no trace of humour or anything else that I would recognise as such. As he said this, another man came into the room. He looked like one of the goons who must be protecting them, whom I had seen outside. "You two" he barked at the protectors, "go and have a look around, but be careful. Make sure you're not seen. If any of our patients turn up then send them away again, or something. Tell them that we'll contact them later and rearrange their appointments". He went back over to the other man whom I now recognised as his partner from my first interview with them. "You've wanted to see what would happen when someone was injected with the drug of the same gender for some time, haven't you"! The other man looked puzzled for a moment and then his eyes lit up. "W..well yes. You know that the results on laboratory animals have been mixed, depending on their species. We will never know what might happen to a human until we try it". Sandy looked back at me. "Well this could be your chance. We could kill two birds with one stone, so to speak". "Now just wait a minute, you might kill her" Julie interceded, seeing where this was heading. "You can shut up, unless you're going to offer yourself as a replacement" he said to her, and watched her blanche and move back a pace. "Of course" Sandy's partner said, "this isn't a true test as such. She wasn't originally a female so it really invalidates any results we get. We would be guessing, just like with the early ones". I had a vision of some of the victims I had seen in my early investigations and shivered, trying hard not to imagine my own body becoming nothing more than a stinking pile of sludge. For the first time in weeks I felt the loss of my brother Terry all over again, feeling guilty that I hadn't thought about him more often, being too tied up in my own situation. That remembrance of Terry leant me a new strength. "Wait - I came here today hoping, desperately, that there might be a way that I could persuade you, or even steal from you, some of the formula to change me back to a man. If you're going to experiment on me then at least do it that way"! I would worry about my escape once I was male again, however remote the likelihood of that might be. My pleas however, only served to send sandy into paroxysms of laughter. "Don't be stupid - we can't let you go, and you know that. Besides, there is no way back to manhood for you, for however brief a period. Tell him why, professor". That was the first time that I had heard him give him any sort of name, but that was lost on me as the man he called the 'professor' gave his explanation. "Once someone has changed genders with the formula then that is it - final! The body simply could not stand another major re-build, with every cell being killed and then replaced systematically, all over again. If I gave you the male GRL-E formula then you would probably end up like the first subjects". "Yes, but that has only been a theory so far. I know that happened with animals but we have not tried it out on a human yet". "Y..you bastard!" I cursed, and then received a slap around my face, from the man holding me. I hardly noticed the ringing in my head as I faced this reality. So that was it for me. Even if a miracle happened and I got out of this situation then I was still doomed to be a girl for the rest of my life, or at least until I grew and became a woman. Intellectually I had always known that was the likely outcome of my pursuit, but even a glimpse of hope that I might regain my manhood had kept me going these past few months. Even when I had been spending more effort in trying to adapt to my body and my new circumstances than in trying to track these men down, I had still harboured hope that I would eventually find them. Now that I finally had, my hopes had been dashed in the cruellest fashion possible. I suppose I should have crumpled to the floor in despair at that point, weeping and wailing in self-pity, but I was stronger than that, if not physically then mentally. "N..no - you can't - you can't do that to her!" Julie whimpered again, shocked and disgusted at the seeing the men she had been unwittingly supplying victims to for so long, in operation. "I told you to shut up!" sandy barked at her and then turned back to the professor. "Get the GRL-E formula into two syringes, and then prepare the other one. I think that we need one of each for these two. A girl-to-girl version for the lovely Doctor Bradshaw, and a girl-to-male version for her" he said, indicating towards me. I remained tight-lipped, refusing to give him any satisfaction from seeing me beg for mercy. I knew that mercy was not an option with the likes of him! "Let's get on with it then professor" he said, and then grabbed a shocked looking Julie and pushed her over towards me. She grabbed me and hugged me tightly. "No - NO! You can't kill me - why?" she cried, helplessly. Sandy just shook his head, surprised that she had to ask. "Just think of it as your own personal contribution to science. You know that I can't let you walk away from here after all you know - not now". Julie whimpered and then looked at me. "I'm sorry Amanda - truly, I'm sorry". "Fiona - I go by that name now. It's a pity you didn't feel like that a bit sooner and then maybe neither of us would be in this mess" I answered, bitterly. She looked shocked at my words but if she expected pity from me then she had another think coming. Too many had died, or had their lives ruined, because she had decided to look the other way. "How touching" sandy said as the man he called professor joined us, carrying two syringes on a tray. "You might at least sedate us, or put is out, first" I asked him as he pulled away my blazer and rolled up a sleeve on my blouse. My plea was ignored though, as he squirted a small amount of the fluid from the tip of the needle that he held in front of me. I closed my eyes and waited to feel the tell tale prick that would indicate that my end was near. Instead though, I heard a banging sound and then two people were thrown into the room just yards in front of me. Sandy and the professor pulled back for a moment as they took in the sight of these new intruders. "I caught these snooping around on the stairway. There's another downstairs, but he won't be bothering us for a while" one of the goons said. One of those who had been thrown to the floor lifted his head up and looked at me. "Phil!" I gasped. * * * * * * * Jackie was still seething as she returned to the doorway from where she had hidden earlier. If there was one thing she hated rather than being left out of the action, it was being told what to do, and in such a patronising way as well. She waited for a few more moments and when nothing seemed to be happening she decided that she would go and see what was going on, herself. She crept out of the doorway and into the building before quietly climbing the stairway in front her. Eventually she came to a corridor and heard voices and then the sound of heavy footsteps approaching. She pressed herself back into a nearby alcove and shut her eyes hoping that by doing so, whoever was approaching might miss her. "You check that side and I'll go this way" a man's voice said, one that she didn't recognise. She heard one set of footsteps rushing past her, and then the other fade into the distance before she became aware of voices coming from within the room they had come from. * * * * * * * Although I knew that the police would be coming, and that Phil would be with them, it was still a surprise to see him here, thrown to the floor with a woman whom I recognised as Detective Fiona Waters, by those goons. "Fiona!" was all he could offer by way of a reply. I watch Waters face go from fear to puzzlement and then to anger. "You mean to tell me that you know her, as well!" she exclaimed, looking at Phil accusingly. "So you weren't here together then!" sandy interjected. "Together! Why would we bring a schoolgirl on something like this" Waters answered, brushing herself down and staring at sandy, determined to appear confidant. An evil grin broke out on sandy's face. "This just gets better and better" he laughed, you really don't know who this is do you"? The expression on her face and her look towards Phil, who was wearing a guilty expression, gave him his answer. "Then let me perform a few introductions. Lady, I don't know who you are but this girl here was once Sergeant Bill Cartwright, an officer in her majesty's police". "Cartwright, Bill Cartwright!" she gasped and stared at me in awe. This time it was my expression that gave her, her answer. "You've known about this all along, haven't you" she turned and spat at Phil. "Leave him alone, he was only trying to protect me!" I cried, my emotions now at breaking point. "Ladies, ladies - please, so squabbling. This is getting out of hand. Professor, why don't you finish off what you had started and then we can work out what to do about our new arrivals". The 'professor' turned his attention back to me again and once more tested his syringe. "No..no please. Do something to stop him. He's going to kill her!" Julie pleaded. "Kill her - how?" Phil asked, suddenly tensing, watching as the professor approached me. "That's some of the GRL-E formula that changes a girl to a man. Her body can't take it and it'll kill her. Then he's going to do the same to me!" she cried. "Don't try anything stupid" sandy said to Phil as he saw him move, indicating to one of his goons who waved a gun at him. "Stop it! Leave her - him - alone. Th...there are others outside, just waiting for that thing to go off" she said, nodding towards the goons gun. "You idiots, didn't you check to see if there was anyone else?" he snapped at his men. "W..we did, but once we'd got these..". "Then go and check, NOW!" he shouted, taking his own gun out of a jacket pocket and holding it at Fiona and Phil. "Go on prof, just get this over with". There seemed to be no cards left to play as the professor swabbed my arm once again and held the needle above my skin. Then all hell broke loose. It was so unexpected that I seriously doubted my own sanity for a few seconds and it was only afterwards that I could piece it all together. "L..LEAVE HER ALONE"! Everything seemed to be running in slow motion as I watched what appeared like an avenging angel come rushing through the doorway and surge towards the professor. I tried to call out for her to stop as I recognised her as Jackie, but she was fully committed in a leap at the professor who was now turning to see who was doing the shouting. He held his arm up in a reflex action and I watched with a morbid fascination as the syringe's needle buried itself into her exposed leg. "Jackie - NO!" I cried as she yelled out in pain and then pulled myself over to her. I removed the syringe and tossed it onto the ground, and everything else that was happening faded into the background for me as more men burst into the room. I was vaguely aware that Phil was pushing past me and heading towards sandy and I then heard the sound of a gun go off and then further struggling before it all seemed to settle down again and an eerie silence descended on the proceedings. The silence only lasted for seconds though as the sound of a man crying broke the still of the room. I turned to see sandy lying on the floor being held down by Phil who was pulling another syringe away from him. "The asshole. He went for me with this but only ended up sticking it in himself". "Which one is it - which ONE!" I shouted. Phil gave me a puzzled look, but I needed to know. In the chaos that followed Jackie's intervention I wasn't sure which needle had entered her. It could have been either of those on the tray. I wasn't worried about what might happen to sandy, but one of those could prove fatal to Jackie. "I need to know. I don't want to think what's likely to happen if she's taken the male to female version. If she has then it might be kinder to put her out of her misery now"! Maybe I should have been more circumspect because Jackie sat up for the first time since taking her wound, looking more scared than I have ever seen before. My statement might have sounded extreme but if it had come to the crunch, and there was no way of easing her suffering, I truly believed that it would have been the greatest act of love I could have committed. "I...I can tell you. Let me see the label" the 'professor' said indicating in the direction of the syringe that I had removed from Jackie's leg. "Don't tell them you bastard - let them suffer!" sandy spat, before Phil twisted his arm tighter behind his back, silencing him. "Let him see it" I barked at the burly policeman holding him. He gave a puzzled look towards Waters wondering, no doubt, why a teenage schoolgirl was giving out the orders. To give Waters her credit she immediately backed me up, even without understanding the reasons. Maybe she wasn't as bad as I'd always painted her. The professor sidled over towards Jackie, with his hands cuffed behind his back and with the policeman still holding onto him. He peered down at the label. "She's taken the XY version. She'll be alright". I felt the bottom falling out of my stomach as I thought of the implications of his seemingly reassuring statement. It was the better of the two options but I had to bite my tongue as I looked at Jackie visibly relaxing, not wanting to spoil her moment of relief. "And him!" I said, now looking over at sandy. The professor was pushed in the direction of his partner in crime and after a brief inspection of the label on the syringe that Phil was holding, gave an ironic grin. He looked into sandy's face and waited for a moment, this time prolonging his former 'friends' agony before finally relenting. "It looks as if we'll be serving our time in different establishments" was all he said as I saw a mixture of relief and agony cross sandy's face, knowing that he was going to live but no longer as a member of the 'stronger' sex, as he probably saw it. A cold fury suddenly filled his face, which drove away his earlier look of fear. He seemed to find a new strength as he broke out of Phil's grasp lunged at the professor, knocking over the policeman who was holding him. They both rolled on the floor together for a moment, and then past myself, until the policemen managed to pull sandy away at the same time as the professor screamed. I looked down and saw that he was looking at the syringe I had cast aside when I had removed it from Jackie. It was buried in his abdomen. It had some of the formula in it and some of it had entered his body. His face went an ashen white as he realised the implication of this. He had prepared his own death sentence and would now be the subject of his own experiment. A fitting fate. As he lay there whimpering I turned back to Jackie and I knew she could detect my level of concern about her, despite my best attempts to hide it. "Get an ambulance quickly, she's needs to get to hospital - NOW"! "It's already on its way" one of the policemen answered as I cradled her head against my breast. "Wh..what's wrong Fi, what's going to happen to me"? My heart wept for her as I wondered how she was going to cope as a six-year old boy. * * * * * * * It was about an hour after they got Jackie into hospital that she fell into a coma. I had travelled back with her in the ambulance and had told her what was going to happen, not wanting her to wake up on her own and discover it herself. I could still remember the shock and confusion I had felt when I had woken up after my own transformation and hoped that some prior knowledge would speed her recovery somewhat, even if only a little bit. I felt guilty as I saw the look on her face as she listened to me explain what was likely to happen to her and did my best to console her as she cried quietly. There was consolation for her though, and the only consolation I had was that at least she would keep her current age when she became a he. I had found out from Phil that there had been an 'improvement' made to GRL-E that I hadn't been aware of. I had wanted to sit with her, to keep her company throughout her change, but was instead whisked of by the police to be interviewed and was soon standing outside an office which I was told contained Detective Waters. I remembered the only time I had worked with her before, and had given her a royal chewing out for the way that she had nearly blown a case we had been working on together. Her over enthusiasm had tipped off the target of our investigations and it was only by luck that we managed to limit the damage caused. I was sure that she had never forgiven me for that. Well, the heel was well and truly on the other foot now. A moment later the door opened and Waters stood aside before, motioning for me to come inside. She pointed me towards a chair and I could hardly fail to notice the smirk that she was trying to hide and she watched me sit down and smooth the skirt I was wearing underneath me, as had become my habit. "Well Bill, or do you prefer Fiona? This 'is' a surprise. We thought that you were dead". "Keep it to Fiona for now, I'd rather that this didn't become common knowledge. Before I do anything else though, I'd better let Louise know that I'm here". "We've already contacted you 'wife' and told her that you're here. As soon as we've finished with this de-briefing she can collect you". "Collect me! I don't need collecting. I can make my own way home". "Officially, or at least according to the identity you have now, you're fifteen and are still, legally, a minor. The law requires an adult present if we need to make this interview official". "Official? You know what happened, surely. Phil must have told you what's been going on by now"! "Oh yes - Phil Wainwright. He's been suspended pending a full investigation. He's told us his version of why he covered up for you but he was holding back invaluable evidence by helping you keep hidden and it was, at best, totally unprofessional behaviour on his part, however much pressure you put him under. We might have managed to nail them a lot quicker if you'd come to us in the first place. I don't understand it - you'd been in the force a long time and knew all the procedures - the right thing to do - yet you acted totally irrationally. Why"? I was shocked. Phil suspended! I had never thought it would come to that. I could feel my blood start to boil; believing Waters was acting vindictively towards him, maybe as a way of getting back at me. "Of course I acted irrationally. It seemed the right thing to do somehow. After all, I was a female by then and isn't that part of the 'job defscription'!" I spat back at her, angrily. I watched her bristle at this unbridled attack on my adopted gender but she then showed me how much she had matured, in direct contrast to my own actions, by maintaining her dignity, and replied calmly. "You should have come to us 'Fiona'. It would certainly have prevented that other girl - Jackie - from having to go through her own version of hell. It really rocked me when she said that, and I had a moment of introspection. She was right. Every since my change to female I had been putting myself first, all down the line. It had started off with Louise, leaving her to think whatever she had wanted to about me, neither knowing whether I was an adulterer, nor whether I was even dead or alive. Even after that she had taken me back in and given me shelter. I had then ducked out of my responsibilities at work and had then emotionally blackmailed Phil into helping me out. That could cost him his career. Then there was Charlie who had died after I had stayed with him; no doubt gotten rid of by the same people who had transformed me. It was a catalogue of disasters, on my part. Any of those things in isolation would have been bad enough, but put them all together and it paints a pretty bad picture of me. The icing on the cake though, the one to top them all, was what had happened to Jackie. I had genuinely fallen in love with her to the extent that I would have put her first before anything (much to my guilt regarding Louise). Now, even that had been ruined by my letting her place herself in a position of great danger and as a result, she was lying in a hospital bed with her whole life ruined as each cell in her body slowly changed to its male equivalent. I sat there in a pit of my own despair as I faced up, for the first time to the sort of person I really was. The only person I had thought about once, apart from myself, had been Terry, and that memory was also tinged by guilt as I sat here with a body he would have willingly died for, whilst whatever was left of him lay mouldering in its grave. I answered any question that Waters threw at me after that, responding like an automaton. I did not have the will to fight her. At some point she eventually decided that she'd gotten all she needed from me, or was likely to get, and told me that the interview had been terminated. She led me out to another interview room where I found Louise waiting for me who gave me a warm hug, one that I really didn't deserve, and led me back outside to whatever lay ahead of me. Not one word passed between us until we were clear of the police station but then Louise found a quiet cafe where she found a corner table, well away from where the few people already here were sitting. She ordered two cups of tea and as soon as the waitress had brought them over she broke her silence. "Why did you do it Fi?" she asked me. I paused for a moment, finding it hard to look her in the face. "I would have thought that was obvious Lou. I wanted to change back to a man again, and I thought that this was my only chance of doing so. I overheard yourself and Phil discussing the police operation last night, and it seemed like you were going to keep this from me". A slight look of guilt passed across her face for a moment and she turned her eyes away. "We weren't keeping anything away from you, at least not for any wrong reason. I was scared for your safety - even I'm stronger than you are! You've got to realise Fiona, that you've got the body of a teenage girl now, not that of the man that you used to be". "Huh! As if I hadn't noticed" I snorted, pulling my blazer back to show her my breasts". She snapped back at me, angrily. "Close that up and stop making an exhibition of yourself. I've heard what happened when you went playing detective again - you almost ended up as a pile of gunk. Doesn't that prove my point"! It was now my turn to avert my eyes. Of course she was right. I thought back to my feelings when I was being interviewed by Waters and became more conciliatory. "I know Lou, I know. It's just that I know what happens in cases like this. Whatever they've taken away from the scene of the crime will be kept as evidence and I could almost guarantee that it won't ever see the light of day again. This was my worst nightmare Lou. Waters also told me that the professor had died. It was him that ended up as gunk, not me. He was the only one though, who had broken the secret of GRL-E, and with him gone there is little chance of me ever being able to change back. I'm going to have to face it - I'm going to be stuck as Fiona now, for the rest of my life". I felt a lump forming in my throat as this reality hit home again. There had been so much going on that it had taken this long for it to really sink in. Louise's hand reached across the table and held onto to my smaller one. "Is it really such a nightmare Fi, being female. It can't have been all bad, surely"? What Louise was saying carried echoes of my conversation with Jackie last night, and immediately brought my attention back to her. "Jackie - I've got to see her! I want to go back to see how she is". "Jackie? What's happened to her?" Louise asked me. "She's in hospital. Haven't they told you? She took a dose of the GRL-E drug that was meant for me. She saved my life". "I was only told that you had been picked up at the scene of a police raid, and to come and collect you. I didn't even know that Jackie was with you!" she answered as she stood up, looking in her purse for some change with which to pay for the tea. She went over to the counter, paid the bill and then hurried outside to look for a cab. "I guessed, from where they told me to collect you, what you had been doing as soon as I got the call. Apart from when I picked you up though, I haven't spoken to anyone else so I know nothing". We clambered into the back of a black cab and Louise gave him the directions. "She took the male version of GRL- E Louise. If it works anything like it did with me then by the morning she'll be able to sing bass" I said as we headed to the hospital. "Oh, that poor girl!" Louise gasped as she put her hand to her mouth, knowing that anything that she said would be inadequate. We pulled up outside of the hospital and enquired at the desk as to where they were keeping her. First of all they denied that she had ever been there and then, after we made a fuss, admitted that she had been moved somewhere 'secure', and that the location was confidential. Despite complaining to several 'senior' members of the hospital we finally had to relent, after veiled threats that they would call the police if we persisted in making a nuisance of ourselves. I was heartbroken and worried sick when Louise took me home. I feared that she had maybe died or that something else dreadful might have happened to her and wanted to go to the police, but she had insisted that we go home. I knew that they would not see me without her so I complied and spent a restless night before returning to the police station with Louise, the next day. I was hoping that I could get to see Waters and get her to let me know what had happened. It was all to no avail though. We were informed that Jackie's parents, once they had found out what was happening to her, had requested that she be moved to somewhere secure where they could be with their daughter, or son as should would be by now, to help her come to terms with what had happened. I decided that I would leave things for a few days. At least I knew that she/he was alive, Waters had confirmed that, and that was at least some sort of consolation. When I tried Jackie's house a week later, I found it was up for sale and further enquiries informed me that the family had moved with no forwarding address. Of course, I returned to see Waters but all she would tell me that the family were being treated under the witness protection programme, and that she was bound by law to respect their request for privacy. I was devastated. I had never felt so lonely before, not even when I had first changed to a female. The painful and hollow feeling within my gut confirmed my love for Jackie and I found myself pining for her. It was made even worse by knowing that she must have been party to the decision to get away from everything she had known up until now, and that included me. I was worried that she held me responsible for what had happened and that was a weight that I wasn't sure I could bear. I left the police station feeling total and utter despair. Whatever else happened, I knew that I would be female for the rest of my life and that was still something that I found hard to accept, despite my increasing familiarity with this body. I was still male inside my head where it counted, and I was living a prison sentence within my own body, it being both my cell and my jailer and it was a life sentence with no hope of parole. Without Jackie to buoy my spirits then life was not worth living. As good as Louise had been to me, our relationship had changed inexorably, from that of husband and wife to mother and daughter. It would be a constant reminder to me of what could have been. I decided that this was all too much to take and once I had returned home, making sure that I was alone, I went to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, and took out a bottle of extra strength painkillers. I looked at them with a wry smile. I had bought them to help me with the period pains I now experienced every month, as regular as clockwork. They seemed to be a symbol to me of what I had become, and it now seemed a fitting irony that I would now be using them to free me from further female pain, permanently. After writing a forgive me note to Louise, I washed a handful of them down my throat with a glass of water and then returned to my bedroom to lie down, holding a photograph of Jackie close to my chest. I awaited for oblivion to claim me, for the last time. * * * * * * * Epilogue - Six Months Later As far as funerals went, it was a quiet one. There was only Bill Carwright's immediate family and a police representative in attendance to hear the priest offer his blessings as the coffin was lowered into the freshly dug grave, and had a handful of dirt cast on top of it. For my own part, I experienced mixed emotions. It was definitely a 'not to be repeated' experience, attending your own funeral, but it was more than just that. It was a celebration, if that is the appropriate term to use, of both a death and a birth. The official death of Bill Cartwright also provided the birth of Fiona Cartwright, but more about that later. I still wasn't sure how I felt about Louise returning home early that fated day, six months earlier, and finding me entering into a coma. It was only her prompt action that kept me alive that night and I had never managed to muster enough courage to attempt such a thing again. That completely underestimates the effort that Louise has made to pull me around, despite the fact that she then knew my feelings towards Jackie. We still both loved each other, despite everything, and after much talking and trading our feelings she expressed that she was happy with the relationship as it existed now. She took steps to reinforce that relationship as soon as the behind closed doors official police enquiry into the GRL-E case was completed. With regards to the enquiry - of course, it condemned my own actions in what had happened but I was almost completely excused, under the grounds of what I had been through. It was viewed that I had suffered a form of temporary insanity (yeah - it's official - to be female is to classified as insane, at least that's how I chose to view it) and that I had not been responsible for my actions. As such then I would suffer no punishment, but I would not be allowed to return to my former position with them. My youth and unexplainable background would make this impossible. It was stated however, that should I choose to join the police force again in my new gender, as that of a policewoman, then this would be viewed favourably. With an unblemished record, up until this incident, they decided that I at least deserved that. Of course though, I would have to qualify in the same way as any other girl. I left the station that day with their message that I should feel no guilt about my part in this. That was easy to say though. The rest of the enquiry had already been completed and as a result, Phil had been given the option to resign or to face disciplinary proceedings. He had chosen the former option and so his ill-judged loyalty to me had cost him his career. I hadn't heard from him since and had no expectation of doing so. I was also unlikely to see Julie again, unless it was as a witness in any forthcoming court proceedings. She was being held in custody pending her trial. I felt so alone. It seemed that everyone I had ever trusted, apart from Louise, had abandoned me. I was given no time to dwell though, because events seemed to take on a life of there own after that and I was in no condition to resist. I was emotionally drained by now, as I was swept along on an unstoppable tide of activity, largely led by Louise. I can't remember agreeing such a thing, but it was decided that I would continue on at school to study and get the qualifications I would need if I wanted to rejoin the police at some stage. It was too soon for me to even think of such a thing but I went along with it anyway. It seemed easier than fighting. At the same time Louise told me that I couldn't continue as Fiona Edwards, in case the real one reappeared at some point. With the help of the police it was arranged that Louise would adopt me, for I was still under age and need a parent or guardian, and so I officially became Louise's daughter, Fiona Cartwright. I was again bearing the name that I had once given to Louise, only now she had passed it on to me. It seemed as if the circle was complete. There was still one thing though, that blighted my life. Even after all this time I had still, never heard from Jackie, or whatever it was that 'he' was now called. The sense of loss I felt at Jackie's disappearance was still as acute as ever. However hard I had tried since my failed suicide attempt, to try and adopt the female role in life, I had repeatedly failed. Every time I had been bullied or cajoled to try and play the female to a male, in the nicest possible way usually by either Louise or an acquaintance, it had never seemed right. I just couldn't bring myself to contemplate being the passive partner that any relationship with a boy would entail, either physically or mentally. I became depressed on a regular basis, much to Louise's chagrin, feeling more of a misfit than ever with Jackie gone. It was just when I was at my lowest ebb however, that fate intervened. Louise was out with someone from work, a man, who had asked her out for a drink, and I was sitting at home on my own, feeling only the merest hint of jealousy now, having gotten almost used to our arrangement. My mood was low, nothing unusual for me in that, when the doorbell rang. I groaned to myself and lifted myself away from the television programme I had been watching, and opened the door. I had a fleeting moment of concern and reprimanded myself for not being more cautious as I saw a young man standing there. I suppose I should have been more aware of my vulnerability now, knowing that I could have been easily overpowered if that had been his intention, but I still forgot on occasions, and this was one of them. "H..hello Fiona" he said to me, as I closed the door by a few inches. I felt confused for a moment as whomever it was seemed to know me, but I could have sworn that I had never seen him before in my life; or had I? The more I looked at him the more I realised that there was something familiar about him, something that I couldn't quite place. "I'm sorry" I answered, preparing myself to try and close the door if I needed to, "but do I know you"? "I suppose you do and you don't. We were good friends once, not so long ago" he answered me, his mouth curving upward in a shy smile. My heart almost missed a beat as I suddenly remembered where I had seen that smile before. "Oh my God - J..Jackie - is it really you?" I gasped, my legs threatening to give way underneath me. "Not Jackie anymore. Can I come in?" he said, leaning forward to steady me. I said nothing as I moved aside to let him in, and held onto his arm for support. I felt a fluttering in my stomach as I looked up at him. He was about four inches taller than me and bore a strong resemblance to Jackie, having similar facial characteristics, although more pronounced. The jaw line, nose, and ears were stronger whilst the eyes and lips were slightly reduced. It wasn't by a lot, but enough to add up to a significant difference. I led him into the living room and sat down, indicating for him to do the same. Considering that in years lived I was maybe thirty years his senior I felt surprisingly flustered, and didn't know what to say. After all of this time spent wondering what had happened to Jackie, I was speechless. "Matthew" he said, breaking the awkward silence that had developed between us. "Uh"! "Matthew, that's what I call myself now, or Matt if you'd prefer". "Oh God, Jac..Matthew! I thought that I'd never see you again. I thought that you blamed me for what happened to you!" I started to babble. He interrupted me, before I started to tie myself in knots. "Stop it! I never blamed you. I must admit, I was in a dreadful state of shock when I woke up that first time, and discovered what had happened. I know that you had toldme what to expect but i..it was so strange - finding my breasts gone a..and finding that I had a few additional things added between my legs, but I didn't blame you for that. In fact, it gave me a new insight into what you must have felt yourself when this all happened to you". I was astounded. I had expected to be accused of ruining Jackie's life for her, not receiving the understanding that 'he' was giving me now. I then felt a sudden surge of anger as my emotions hit the bottom of the roller- coaster ride that they were on. "Th..then why did you run away? Why did you leave me? You don't realise what you put me through - I nearly killed myself out of self-pity and guilt"! "Oh God Fi, I..I didn't realise" he said and reached across to hold me as I burst into tears. I let myself become immersed in his whole being for a while, welcoming the comfort he was giving me, and allowing me the luxury to expunge everything that I had bottled up inside of me these past few months. Eventually though, I started settle down. There are only so many tears to shed. "Do you remember what you told me that you did when you went through your change, and how you treated Louise?" he asked me. I looked at him puzzled for a moment, and then realised what he was referring to. "You remember that night before this happened to me - how you told me that you disappeared for a while and didn't get in touch with her"! I nodded, pretty sure that I knew where this was going. "Well I can understand how you felt. When I woke up and found what I'd become, I completely freaked - so much so that my parents feared for my sanity. I had told you the night before, how much I liked being a girl, and how lucky that I thought you were that you had a chance to see so for yourself. Remember, how I couldn't understand how you wanted to become male again"? I nodded once more, watching Matthew (God, how hard it was to think of Jackie that way) staring over my shoulder now, as he re-lived his feelings of that first night. "Then you can imagine how I felt to find that I had this ... this body, the body of a teenage boy. I've told you how shocked I felt, but that really doesn't describe it. The way that I saw it at the time was that I had lost all my softness, my smooth and delicate skin, and had it replaced by ... by this. There were no breasts to move about with my rest of my body, all my neat plumbing had been tucked away inside of me, and it was now hanging outside and banging into things. It was dreadful. By the third day I also had hair growing on my face". I reached out and held her ... his hand, my own problems forgotten for the moment. With my touch, his eyes focussed back on my face again and a sad smile shone from his lips. "I can really understand what you went through Matthew, although I had the hope of changing back one day it was thoughts of revenge that kept me focussed, at least for a while". I swallowed hard and continued. "And I can understand why you wanted to escape from me, probably blaming me for what had happened to you". This time it was Matthew that squeezed my hands, both of them. "Oh no ... no, it wasn't that. I've already told you. It wasn't you that I was running from. I was trying to escape from myself! I wanted more than anything to escape from what I had become, to be a teenage girl again, with dreams of boyfriends, a career, marriage, and possibly children. I had lost it all as far as I was concerned. I never, ever blamed you. You had been right. I should have listened to you when you tried to persuade me t