Empathy
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Empathy
By Persephone
Chris stood there looking on as the detectives did their work while the
Medical Examiner stood by waiting patiently for his latest passenger. "It
was all routine to them." He thought while he wondered if he would ever
get used to things like this.
As long as he could remember he had wanted to go into Law
Enforcement. Much to the chagrin of his family, especially his mother.
She had told him over and over again that it wasn't the kind of work for
him. She said he was too empathetic of other people's problems. She told
him he was too sensitive and caring to be a policeman. That he needed to
get into some nice quiet office job or something like that.
But that wasn't for him. It wasn't his goal in life. He had worked hard
in high school and graduated near the top of his class. Then he went on to
college and majored in Criminal Justice and Psychology and graduated
with a 3.5 average. After a year and a half of applications to every law
enforcement agency that was hiring, traveling all over the country for the
written, oral and physical exams and then the interviews he had finally
been hired. The department sent him to the Academy and now after
sixteen weeks he was where he wanted to be. Or was he?
Now, looking at the crime scene and the young woman lying over
there in a crumpled and unnatural pile of clothing, blood and human flesh
he thought that maybe his mother had been right. It was all he could do to
keep his dinner in his stomach. He had heard about scenes like this in the
Academy. The instructors had shown them slides and passed around
pictures to look at but this was different. This was real. This wasn't an
image on a piece of glossy paper, cold and unfeeling, or a projection on
the wall. Yeah, this was the real thing.
"Oh God, don't let me throw up now." His mind screamed.
He had been out with his Field Training Officer, or FTO as they were
called in the department, on the third night of his new career when the call
came over the data terminal on the dashboard. A couple out jogging in the
park had heard a woman's screams down by the river. They called it in
when they got home. Said it had happened about 15 minutes ago. Chris and his
FTO were dispatched to check it out. They arrived at the park about 3
minutes later running Code 3.
The two of them had separated and were doing a search of the park
when Chris found her. In the beam of his flashlight he saw her lying there
in a pile under the bushes. He could still see the warmth escaping her
body. It was in the form of a vapor rising off her body being reflected like
a fog in the bright beam of his light. He almost lost it. But he held on and
called it in on his radio and checked her for signs of life. They were way
too late to help her. His partner was there in less than a minute and they
cordoned off the scene and waited for the detectives.
The cold east wind that blew hard down the Gorge that night was
ripping at his ears and nose making them sting with pain. It hurt his throat
to breathe and his guts were bouncing inside of him as the chill sank closer
to his core. He tried to just stand on the perimeter but his vision was drawn
back time and again to the body. He just couldn't keep his attention
diverted. He kept seeing the picture on her driver's license. The beautiful
smiling face and the laughing eyes. Green the license had said. And her
hair was brown. It framed her beautiful face and hung across her
shoulders.
His toes were cramping up from the cold now and it was moving up
his legs. His kneecaps were starting to jump and shake and the backs of
his thighs were so cold it felt like he was sitting on a block of ice.
"Think of something else and the pain won't bother you as much" He thought to
himself. "But think of what?" He couldn't control it. He thought about her
again. "Did she have a boyfriend? Was she married? Children?" And he
looked back at her again. The detectives were moving her now. "They're
straightening out her legs and rolling her onto her back on this cold, cold
ground." And he thought, "She looks better now, more human."
Born just 22 years ago last month her license said. She was just about
his same age. She was five foot nine inches tall and 128 pounds. He kept
dwelling on it. Couldn't let it go. He turned again to look at her lying there
and thought about her family. "Who would tell them? How could anyone
lose a daughter or sister this way and survive?" Now the cold attacked his
abdomen and he felt it draw up tight with a quiver. It felt like his intestines
were starting to shake harder now and it was beginning to get painful.
"This has to be the Hypothermia they told us about in the Academy." He
thought.
"How the hell do the guys do it? How can they stand the weather in
the Gorge year after year?" He mumbled out loud with his jaw quivering
so hard that his teeth chattered. And his face, it was like a thousand
needles were piercing the flesh. "How much longer would this take?"
"Why can't I sit in the patrol car with the heater on? He thought. "Shit
man, I can feel my balls climbing up into my body trying to keep warm
and my dick is so short I don't think I could find it to take a piss if I had
to!"
"Don't think about it man!" He said out loud. "Think about
something else." Anything but the cold that was creeping over his entire
body. He turned back to the crime scene. He thought about her again. "No!
Don't think about her. Think of something else." No use. There was only
the cold and her and there she was. Still lying there. The detectives had
removed and bagged what was left of the shredded jeans that had been
thrown over her lower body. The department crime scene photographer
was taking pictures. "Someday they might be part of a cold, sterile and
unfeeling lecture in the Academy like the ones I attended." He said aloud
but to himself.
"Not exactly what she had planned to do with her life." He thought.
Then he wondered, "What had she planned to do with her life? Had she
gone to college? What sort of career had she planned?" He knew she had a
career planned. The intelligence he could see in that beautiful face, behind
those laughing green eyes. Gone! All of it was gone now. He shivered
again. "Jeeze!" He thought. "You would think that with this jacket and the
ballistic vest on that I could at least keep my upper chest warm." But the
chills had settled in his chest and shoulders now and he shook harder than
before. He could feel his hard nipples pushing at the back of his vest.
Damn it was beginning to hurt a lot now and was starting to run down his
arms. His fingers were numb inside his gloves.
"Why would anyone be out here in the Gorge in the winter in the
middle of the night?" He thought. Then he remembered what one of the
detectives had said. He told Chris that they had found where she had been
dragged from the parking lot to the bushes. They found scuff marks on the
blacktop in the parking lot from her shoes. He had said "The perp had
probably come out here to park with her and make out." Chris had heard
the guys back at roll call talk about finding "Steamers" up in the Gorge.
He had asked at the time what a steamer was and was told that it was an
occupied vehicle in a parking area with the windows all "steamed" up. "I
think we'll get this one." He heard the detective say. "I'll bet next months
overtime that it's the boyfriend." Chris felt a lump form in his throat as he
thought about coming out here to be with someone you really cared about
and to have this happen. "WHY?" He asked to no one in particular.
Chris felt the lump in his throat get harder and now a burning came to
his eyes. "Oh no! Please! Don't let me start crying. The guys would never
let me live that down. He thought. He felt an arm go around his shoulder
and a friendly voice say "So, are you ready to get into a nice warm patrol
car and write some reports partner?" He looked up and saw his FTO
smiling down at him. "I know I am." His FTO said. "It's colder than a
witches tit out here tonight! Oh, I'm sorry. I hope that last remark didn't
offend you. I'm not real politically correct when I'm this miserable."
Chrissy shook her head and said it didn't bother her at all. Her mom was
wrong. She knew she wasn't too sensitive and caring to be a policewoman.
Sure she felt bad about that guy back there being loaded into the M.E.'s
van but you can't let things like that get to you. "Can you?"
Her FTO got into the car with her and wondered how he had lucked
out to get a beautiful green-eyed brunette like this as his new trainee and
partner.
Empathy (c) 2000, Persephone
Madison
- 17.07.2021
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