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Devil or Angel By Morpheus Everything happened so fast that I didn't know what was going on, only that my whole world suddenly exploded into chaos. A billion images flashed through my mind at once, assaulting every one of my senses simultaneously. Then in an instant, the infinite amount of pain that I'd barely been able to register was gone, along with everything else. I had no idea how long I was there, or even if there was a there. Time had no meaning... I had no meaning. I was... yet I was not. My existence... if that was what it was, had neither form nor thought. No senses or weight. It was as though I floated in an endless sea of sleep. Then something started to tug at me, to pull me closer to the waking world. Some awareness began to creep into my mind, yet still no thought. I could feel something... There was a presence nearby... No, there were two presences. Though I was still in a dreamy state, I could feel them nearby. One gave a feeling of peace and love, while the other was filled with anger... with force and power. A moment... or an eternity later, voices started to filter through to my mind. "He was reckless..." the first voice stated somewhere in the distance. It was a woman's voice, though it was sharp... edged with darkness. "Willingly endangering lives. He caused one to be crippled for life..." It was then that flickering memories of my car passed through my thoughts. Memories of me at the bar, hitting someone to keep them from taking my car keys. There was me driving down the road, with everything swerving around... Then the other voice interrupted, "He sacrificed his life to save another..." This was a man's voice, though it was filled with light. Again my memories flashed, with me seeing a little girl in the road ahead of me. I slammed on my breaks and turned the wheel, knowing that there was traffic to one side and a steep embankment to the other. I went through the guardrail and over the edge. I think that there had been another road below... Another car that seemed to come rushing up at me... And then... The voices were arguing with each other, though I couldn't hear everything. Still, bits and pieces of what they were saying sank into my thoughts... into the dreamy quagmire of my mind. "He is quick tempered, spreads chaos and is prone to violence," the woman's voice announced. I knew that this was the truth. There was a flash of memory about my ex-wife, about how I lost my temper and hit her. There was a feeling of guilt that accompanied this. Though I didn't think about all of the details, I remembered that I had gotten into trouble frequently... usually when bored. However, that was followed by, "He is kind, generous and goes out of his way to help others..." Again, I knew that this was truth as well. I remembered helping the old neighbor women next door... of volunteering at the homeless shelter. "A life filled with chaos and discord," the woman hissed, "harming himself and others..." The man's voice simultaneously stated, "A life trying to create order... to bring peace to those who need it..." They continued bickering, each pointing out the pros and cons of my life, each point having a counter-point. I was barely aware of everything they said and had a feeling that there was a great deal of it that was going far over my head. However, I didn't care. I didn't worry or fear. I just was. It was as though I was nothing more than an impartial observer... if that. Finally, the woman growled, "He has earned his place in Hell." There was more than a hint of threat to her voice. "But he has earned a place in Heaven," the man's voice sighed. It was then that at some point, something inside of me took more notice, realizing for the first time that something important was going on. However, I was still more asleep than awake. "The soul is balanced," the man admitted, a hint of amazement in his voice, "the extremes countering each other." "Then where does he go?" the woman's voice demanded. There was silence for some time, enough so that I started to drift back again. Then the man announced, "Why not let him choose?" I could feel the surprise at that suggestion, then another moment of silence before she responded, "Agreed." Then she stated, "He needs a form... a body to inhabit." Though there were no words at this, I could feel the man agree. Then I could feel it, some form of communication that I was not privy to. It was beyond mere words as they continued to argue about something. A moment later, I felt them come to some form of agreement. "Acceptable," the man stated calmly, adding, "For now." It was then that something started to pull at me again, this time pulling me further and further from the dreamlike state that I'd been in. My thoughts started to move again and curiosity began to flow. Reality began to form around me once more. As I awoke, I could feel my body... something that had been completely absent moments before, though I hadn't noticed it in my dreamy state. My whole body felt solid again, but different... very different. Opening my eyes, I was suddenly confronted by the sight of a flat gray landscape that extended for what seemed forever. There was no sign of anything to break up the pure flatness... not a person, building, tree... or even a mountain. It was just the flatness that extended as far as the eye could see. Even the sky was wrong, being a dull gray with no hint of clouds, sun or anything that was creating the dull light that I was seeing by. Then I turned around, seeing that the flat landscape extended in all directions in the same way, with two small exceptions. Just a few yards away from me, there were two large doorways... or at least that was what they looked like. And there was one of them on each side of me. With a single glance, I saw that both of them were square in shape and 8 feet tall. One of them seemed to be made of smooth looking marble and gold, but instead of a door... the center was filled with a shimmering gold light. There was a feeling of peace that emanated from that door. The second door was similar in shape to the first, but was made of a rough looking black stone that had variations in its shade, as well as several cracks running around it. And in the center, instead of a doorway, there was a dark red shimmering light. And this one emanated another feeling... one that sent shivers down my spine, and not good ones either. "Welcome," the man's voice stated... coming from the marble gate. The woman's voice came from the dark gate simultaneously, "Let's get this over with." I quickly turned from on gate to the other, then glancing at the flatness beyond. I could clearly remember what they'd said a short time earlier and it didn't take a genius to realize what had happened. "I'm dead," I whispered, half statement and half question. I could feel the acknowledgment from both of them, but not in words. "Where am..." "Purgatory," the man's voice answered. "The neutral zone between Heaven and Hell, the resting place for those souls who had not earned admittance to either." That was spooky, but I had absolutely no doubt that he told me the truth. Then I looked between the gates, realizing for the first time exactly where they were gates to... Heaven and Hell. And these voices... there was a sudden insight that these were not God and the devil, but guardians of the gates. With that, the lights in the gates shifted and revealed an image standing just on the other side of each. The marble gate... the gate to Heaven had what looked to be an older man standing on the other side, with a long white beard and large fluffy wings. A glowing golden ring was hovering above his head. He was an angel... perhaps even Saint Peter since that was supposed to be his job. Then the other one revealed a woman... sexy young woman with long black hair, reddish tinged skin, horns on her head and a tail coming around from behind. One hand was clutching a pitchfork... not the type a farmer uses, but the trident type that everyone thinks of with the devil. She was a demon... a devil... just not THE devil. "We awoke you and gave you new form for a reason," the devil woman hissed. The comment about 'new form' suddenly reminded me of how strange and different my body felt. I'd already known from the first instant that it was different than before, though it had been easy to overlook since I had been without a body before that. Taking a deep breath, I looked down at myself and was somewhat amazed to see a pair of breasts on my chest... woman's breasts, along with a body to go with them. I was completely naked, which let me good a good look at everything. "You needed a form," the angel stated almost apologetically, "and this was a compromise of punishment and reward." As I heard those words, I knew what he meant by them. I had been given a beautiful body as a reward... but a woman's body... a completely alien body as a punishment. However, I barely paid any attention to the angel or the devil. Instead, I was staring in amazement at my changed body... at my feminine fingers with the long, perfectly manicured nails. Somehow, I KNEW exactly what I looked like, even without a mirror. The image was embedded in my head. The girl... I looked a bit like Angelina Jolie from the movie Gone in 60 Seconds, with the long blonde hair, but my body looked a lot more like Jessica Rabbit's... having all the right curves. Then finally, I burst out in the one thing that came to mind, "Cool." There was a stunned silence at that and I could feel the surprise that came from both the devil and the angel. Perhaps they expected me to freak our or something, though that was about the furthest thing on my mind. I'd never wanted to be a woman before in my life, but now that I was one, I was filled with awe and curiosity. This was... interesting. "Let's get this over with," the woman repeated impatiently, glaring at me and then the angel in the other gate. "You are one of the very rare souls who has earned equal entrance to Hell... and Heaven." She sneered at the word 'Heaven', glaring at the angel as well. "So you get to choose which you will remain in for eternity." I was surprised at that, quickly looking towards the angel who nodded his head in agreement. Somehow, I wasn't as shocked as I probably should have been, perhaps because of everything that I'd heard while still out of it and what had already happened since I awoke. The whole thing was pretty damn weird... but oddly enough, that only made it more interesting. Suddenly, a ball of golden light shot out of the white gate, stopping just short of one side of me, while an extremely dark red, almost black light shot out of the other gate, stopping an equally short distance on my other side. Then as one, the golden light changed into a floating gold ring... a halo, while the darker one became a trident like the one the devil held. As I looked back and forth between the halo and the trident that were floating there, I could feel the power coming from them. The glorious peace from the halo... the tempting power from the trident. I KNEW that these were keys to the power of Heaven and Hell, and that if I accepted one, it would bind me to the powers of that realm. "Come," the angel gestured with a gentle smile, "accept the glory of Heaven. In the realm of peace, you will be able to choose whatever form you desire..." He was obviously referring to the fact that my current, and temporary form was meant to be punishment as well as reward. I had no doubt that he was telling the truth about that, but when I glanced at the devil, she said nothing. Still, I could tell that I wouldn't get the same offer there. In fact, I suspected... or somehow knew that in Hell, others would control my form instead, just about anyone with more power could. I just shook my head, nearly laughing. This whole thing seemed kind of silly since of course anyone who was given the choice would choose to go to Heaven rather than Hell. With that, I started to reach out for the halo. Suddenly the devil woman called out in an almost amused voice, "But Heaven is boring..." I froze at that and turned to look at her as she continued with a smirk, "There is nothing but peace and love... There is no challenge... no excitement." My hand dropped away from the halo completely at that. Somehow, she'd known exactly the right track to take with me. She knew what I hated more than anything... boredom. I was easily bored and when I was, that was when I always got into trouble. That was when I tended to do the things that earned me entrance into Hell. An eternity of peaceful boredom sounded more like Hell to me than any kind of Heaven. The devil woman had a smug expression as she continued, "Through here, there is challenge. There is excitement. And there is opportunity of promotion and power for those with the strength and cunning to seize it." Again, she knew exactly which of my buttons to push. I liked challenges... I liked excitement. Without even consciously thinking about it, my hand started to slowly move towards the trident. There was something so... tempting about it. Then the angel cried out, "You deserve better than Hell..." I slowly dropped my hand again while turning to look at him. "Are you going to listen to that pussy?" the devil demanded. "Take it. Come with me..." The angel said, "This is the way to eternal peace..." "Fuck you," the devil woman snapped at him, then told me, "You can make yourself a lord in Hell if you have what it takes. Think of the power..." "Think of the joy," the angel countered. For the next minute, they both went on, extolling the virtues of their side while I was stuck in the middle. I looked back and forth between them, feeling as if they were trying to pull me in two directions at once. And with each passing moment, I was getting more and more annoyed. Boredom wasn't the only thing that I disliked. I had a real problem with authority... with other people trying to control me and make me do what they wanted. And at the moment, I was stuck between two of them, and I did not like it in the least. "Enough," I snapped in irritation, causing them both to go silent in surprise. I couldn't help wondering why the hell I'd even been listening to them. They kept trying to make me choose between the trident and the halo... to choose one or the other, while I felt drawn to both of them. I suddenly couldn't help wondering who said that it had to be an either or situation. With that, I announced, "I've decided," though it was almost with an act of spite that I reached out and grabbed both the halo and the trident simultaneously, one in each hand. Suddenly I blasted with utterly raw... primal power. I let out a scream as my body was burning with two completely opposing forces, each vying for dominance. My whole body... my whole existence was overwhelmed with limitless agony and ecstasy, each swirling about throughout my being. I had no idea if I had been standing there for a second or an eternity as the forces fought inside of me, but then they seemed to reach some sort of balance and be absorbed. It was at this point that I knew I was forever linked to the sources of these powers... to Heaven and Hell. A moment after that realization, I could feel the halo and the trident... or the forces that they represented doing more to me... changing my body. I could feel it... see it just as clearly as I had seen what I now looked like inside my mind. There was a burning sensation on my back and a pair of glorious white feathered wings suddenly sprouted, the marks of an angel. The mark that I was bonded to heaven. But that wasn't the end of it as there were pains in my forehead and spine as well. And almost instantly after the wings grew out, a pair of small crimson horns grew from my forehead, and a long thin tail burst from my rear. It was crimson as well, with the sharp triangular part on the end that was rather traditional for devils. That and the horns were my other marks... the ones which showed that I was bonded to hell as well. "Oh shit," I whispered in amazement as the sensations began to fade, leaving me with the new additions to my body. The ones which marked me as both devil and angel... simultaneously. "Oh dear..." the angel exclaimed in obvious surprise. "This us unprecedented." "No fuck," the devil girl sneered, glaring at me and then at him, "Very... very few are given the choice... and no one has EVER chosen both." All I could do was stand there and look down at myself in amazement. My new tail was swishing back and forth above my ankles while I experimentally spread my wings. One hand slowly went up to my forehead and brushed the sharp horns... which were just like the ones that the devil girl had. It felt so strange... so... interesting. "Cool," I whispered, then slowly grinned as I exclaimed, "Awesome." I liked the idea of having been the first at something. I could feel both the devil and the angel staring at me, but I was staring instead at the trident that I was still holding in one hand. However, the halo wasn't in the hand I had grabbed it with. Instead, it was floating above my head. "So," I asked as nonchalantly as I could, "does this mean I can go back and forth between Heaven and Hell?" They both looked at each other in surprise, but it was the angel who sputtered, "Nothing with the taint of Hell can pass beyond this gate... not even an angel." "Fuck no," the devil girl spat, "Ain't nothing that stinks of Heaven that's getting through here." "The gates will not allow it," the angel continued, sounding almost apologetic. I frowned at that, wondering what the hell he meant. Then I stepped towards his gate, deciding that Heaven would probably be the safest first choice. I normally didn't go for safety, but I was already in the middle of so much weird shit that I figured a little bit might be a good idea. And with that, I put my hand against the shimmering light and it started to go through, feeling sort of welcoming. However, it got harder and harder... refusing to go any further. I could feel it rejecting me... or at least the power of Hell that I was bonded to. "Damn," I spat as I pulled my hand back, then went and tried again with the gate to Hell... with little difference. "You have earned entrance to Heaven or Hell," the angel said thoughtfully, "but are now denied both." The devil girl burst out laughing, "What fucking irony." "Fuck you," I snarled back, "Who said I wanted to go to either of those places anyway?" "It appears that purgatory shall be your eternity after all," the angel sighed. For a moment, they both just stood there staring at me, several expressions crossing over their faces. Then the angel's image began to slowly fade away until the gate was empty. I couldn't even feel his presence anymore. "Trapped for an eternity in this limbo," the devil girl laughed cruelly, shaking her head in obvious amusement, "Sucks to be you." Then she faded away as well, her mocking laughter echoing for several more seconds. However, even that was quickly gone, leaving nothing save me, the two gates... and the infinite gray. For several minutes, I just stood there, staring at the gates, surprised at myself by how easily I was taking that last. But then again, I'd been hit with so much weirdness, so fast that I was probably just numb. First I'd died, then I was in the afterlife, looking like a woman, and of course I'd met both a devil and an angel. Hell, I'd just become both a devil and an angel myself. "I've got the wings to prove it," I muttered, spreading them open as easily as if I'd had them my entire life. "And the trident." With that, I kicked the gate to Heaven and spat at the gate to Hell, silently cursing them for this whole stupid mess. I was beginning to feel pissed off at the arrogance of insisting that everyone be either good or evil. Hell, I knew damn well that most people weren't either... and where did they go. "Purgatory," I muttered, looking around at the endless void and not seeing any sign of another person. I would have expected to see a lot more people there. But at the moment, there only seemed to be me. Then I looked down at myself, staring at my tits with a smirk. There was no doubt that I had a hell of a nice rack. But then again, the rest of my body was just as hot. I'd already known that of course, but still, I couldn't resist running my hand that didn't have the trident down my side. "Hot damn," I shook my head in amazement, "Who ever would have thought that the afterlife would be like this?" After this, I looked up again at the two gates and slowly started to walk around them, more curious than anything. I still didn't know much of anything about where I was at so decided that I should probably try to find something out. All I learned at that point was that the backs of the gates were almost identical to the fronts. It was obvious that there was nothing else around the gates for me to see, unless I wanted to just stand around waiting for those pushy bastards again, and I had no intention of doing that. With a shrug, I started waking away from the gates, just choosing a direction at random since they all seemed identical. The gray landscape was completely flat and stretched out before me with no end in sight. But I didn't let that keep me from walking on, one step in front of the other with no particular destination. I was just running on stubbornness at the moment, and perhaps a bit of spite. One foot in front of the other... one step at a time. I had no idea how long I continued in this way as time seemed to have little meaning in the gray limbo of Purgatory. There were no clocks to judge by, no variation in the light or movement of any sun. Everything remained exactly the same as I continued on my way. However, it seemed as though I walked for a very long time, though oddly enough, I got neither tired nor hungry. My movements had become automatic, almost mechanical. Eventually though, I stopped, remaining where I was for several minutes as I scanned the areas ahead and to the side of me, seeing no variation in the gray. And when I looked behind me, even the gates were gone, leaving what appeared to be endless gray in that direction as well. "What the fuck am I walking for?" I asked aloud, flexing my wings for the first time in what seemed forever. That was, if they actually worked. I gave an experimental flap of my wings, then jumped into the air, amazed at the ease with which I went up... and continued going up. It didn't take me long to realize that my wings didn't seem to have much physical bearing on my flight as I was moving just by willing it. So higher and higher I went, curious to see how far I could go. Again, I had no idea as to how long I traveled, this time up into the sky. I couldn't tell if the ground was below me or not as all I saw was gray... the same gray that I saw in every other direction. Still, I continued to rise before I grew tired of the unchanging gray. "Damn," I muttered, realizing that I really did seem to be all alone. Then I sighed and started to slowly move back towards the ground again. I had barely started to decent when I wished that I was already on the ground, not relishing the idea of that long flight again. Then to my surprise, I was suddenly standing on the ground. There was no transition such as landing... just that one instant I was flying, and the next I was standing. After a moment of consideration of what that meant, I just smirked, "Cool." All I could figure was that perhaps one place in Purgatory was as good as another, or perhaps that space was just irrelevant there. I didn't have much idea, but as soon as I willed it, I was once again standing beside the gates. "Very cool." However, after a moment, I decided that I didn't feel like looking at those fucking gates, then suddenly they were gone. I had no idea if I had moved to a place without the gates, or if it was the gates that had moved. Then again, I didn't really care either. "One place is as good as another," I told myself, beginning to get irritated with Purgatory. It was... boring. The only thing that had kept me from freaking out was the novelty of that boredom, but even that was starting to fade. "How much nothingness can I see?" Maybe it was time that I stopped looking around Purgatory and looked at myself again. After all, my transformed... or was that new body, was certainly a lot more interesting than a lot of endless gray. "Now if I only had a mirror," I exclaimed, picturing a full sized one in front of me. To my surprise, as I was picturing the mirror, one began to sort of shimmer into place right where I'd pictured it. It even looked like I'd imagined, though as soon as I was startled by it's appearance, it just as quickly started to fade away. However, I grinned and started to picture the mirror again, this time not stopping until it was standing in front of me, looking completely and totally real. And when I stopped concentrating, the mirror still remained. I let out a laugh, "Not bad," I grinned stepping in front of it for a better look. Of course, I already knew exactly what I was going to see in front of the mirror, but that didn't really lessen the impact much. It did make it feel a little more real though... or perhaps just a little more normal. I'd been lacking any form of normalcy since this started and staring into a mirror seemed to give me just a little bit of that. For a moment, I just stared at my reflection with a lot of appreciation, admiring just how perfect my body was. Far too perfect for any normal woman... with tits that looked as though gravity had never bothered them. There was no doubt in my mind that I'd fuck her in an instant, which only made my being her that much more interesting. "Too bad I don't have anyone to show it off to though," I mumbled to myself. Then I turned my attention to the additions, namely the wings, tail and horns. They all looked pretty paradoxical on me and definitely didn't quite match. But oddly enough, I decided that I kind of liked the effect. However, there was one thing that I didn't really like the look of, and that was the damn golden ring that was hovering above my head and glowing. The halo made me look like... well, I wasn't quite sure what it made me look like, but I didn't like it. With a scowl, I reached up and grabbed the halo, pulling it away from my head and holding it in front of me. At least it wasn't over my head anymore, but I didn't have any real idea of what to do with it. Then I slowly started to grin as an idea came to me, not even sure if it was possible but at the same time knowing that it was. I didn't even think of the contradiction as I thought of what I wanted and watched it start to happen. The halo started to shrink, to get smaller as it pulled in around my wrist. A moment later, I had a glowing golden bracelet around my left wrist. "Much better," I told myself, rubbing at the bracelet with a smile. It felt very nice there. Very comfortable. Since I'd just dealt with the halo, I turned my attention to the trident that I was still clutching in my hand. I'd been holding it pretty much nonstop since picking it up, and was beginning to get tired of doing so. It was a bit... awkward. "Lets see..." I mused, swinging the trident around and trying to get the feel of it as a weapon. There was little doubt that this was what it was best used for. I could feel the darkness within... the tie to hate and rage. Or perhaps not really within the trident... but it acted as a focus for them. On a sudden impulse, I swung the trident around and released the violent energies that I'd felt from it. There was a flash of searing flame from the head of the trident, mixed with the darkest shadows. It shot out and hit the mirror... almost completely obliterating it. With a gasp of surprise, I just stared at the destroyed mirror before muttering, "Interesting." That was a bit of an understatement, but I couldn't resist trying it again, this time aiming at the ground in front of me. Again there was a flash of darkness... and I noticed, a burning pain in my hand, though one that was quickly fading. But there was also a charred hole in the ground, the only change in the flat grayness for as far as the eye could see. However, even that did not last long as the ground sort of melted back to the way it had been, right before my eyes. There was no sign that it had ever been damaged. And when I looked at the mirror, even the remains of it had vanished. I stood there for a moment, staring at the trident with renewed interest, and a little nervousness as it had hurt like hell when I actually used it. Still, if it could do that, I couldn't help but wondering what the halo could do. Still, as useful as the trident might be if I ever needed to fight someone, it was still pretty damn awkward. It didn't take me more than a moment to start considering if I could do something with it like I had done with the halo. Then, before I had even come up with any specific ideas, I felt the trident moving in my hand. It was shifting around like a snake, beginning to shrink as it simultaneously started to wrap around my arm, constricting. "Oh shit..." I gasped in surprise. The trident continued to move, to shrink as it wrapped around my upper right arm. Then I suddenly felt as if my skin was on fire, as if the trident was actually burning into me. I nearly screamed from the pain, though it just as quickly started to fade away. "What the fuck..." I started to demand, turning to look at my arm and stopping in surprise. My upper right arm now displayed a tattoo. It was in the shape of a trident, with the three pronged head at the top, while the staff part went down slightly and was wrapped around my upper bicep three times. And as I slowly ran my fingers over it, I noticed that the whole thing felt smooth. The whole tattoo thing was a little unexpected, but I certainly couldn't deny that it was exactly what I wanted. Well... I didn't exactly want the pain that came with it, but it was a little later for that now. All in all though, I had to admit that I was rather pleased that neither the halo nor the trident was distraction anymore. "Glad I don't have to keep carrying the damn thing," I exclaimed. However, I couldn't help wondering... With that, I held out my right hand and did the same thing that I'd done with the trident. This time the burning wasn't just in my hand, it burned around my bicep and shot down my whole arm... exploding from my hand with a blast of energy that created another hole in the gray landscape. For a moment, I just grimaced from the pain, while at the same time I admired that I could still use the trident, even when it was stuck on my arm. Fortunately though, the pain faded extremely quickly and was almost forgotten within minutes. As I looked down at myself with yet another appreciative glance, I decided that about the only thing missing were clothes. I didn't have a shred of cloth on me, though that didn't really bother me too much. Of course, there wasn't really any practical reason to be wearing clothes either. Then on an impulse, I started to will clothes to appear, just like I had with the mirror. A moment later, I was dressed in a pair of really tight jeans and a black T-shirt with a Playboy bunny logo. I couldn't resist grinning at that, amused by the thought that I was hotter than any woman who'd ever posed for that magazine. "What next..." I started, then paused as a grin began to form. With that, I willed another mirror to form in front of me, this time a much larger one than before. I was even a bit impressed with myself when I was done, though I didn't waste much time before I started posing in front of it in various positions... with and without the clothes. For the next... I don't know how long as time had no real meaning, I goofed off in front of the mirror, frequently changing my clothes for my own amusement. I wore evening gowns, bikinis, and just about everything from togas to futuristic sci-fi jumpsuits. However silly it might have seemed, I was having fun... for the moment. Eventually though, after trying on probably a hundred costumes, I was tired of playing dress-up and decided that I needed to find something else to do. But what that was however, I didn't really know. "Maybe I should just make a bed and play with myself," I mused, more than half serious about it. There was little doubt that it would be interesting at least. However, at that moment I had another idea and decided to hold off the masturbation for a little longer. I wasn't sure if I could do quite as much as what I was thinking of, but I was damn sure willing to try. Several large speakers formed in the area around me, attached to a stereo system that was already pounding out some good music. I grinned at that, feeling rather smug that it had worked. "This place might not be so bad," I laughed, just before I started working on the rest of what I had in mind. A minute later, I had several walls around me, a roof... and a large stage with a pole in the middle of it. I grinned as I sauntered onto the stage, pausing for a moment to look at my reflection in the mirror. Then I willed the music to change, closing my eyes for a moment to get into the mood. "I've got the body of a stripper," I laughed, "so I might as well try it." And with that statement, I started to move my body to the music, opening my eyes with a grin as I began to dance around on the stage. I was a bit clumsy at first, not sure what to do, though I did try to mimic some of the stuff I'd seen in strip clubs and what I figured I would like. Then to my delight, I started to improve enough so that I could enjoy what I was seeing reflected back from the mirror. My new tail and horns did seem to add some spice to the whole thing, even making me feel naughtier, which showed in my performance. The wings on the other hand... Well, they weren't really in the way or bothering my flexibility much, but they did seem to interfere with the dancing... or at least its effectiveness. As I swirled around the pole, trying to look sexy, I couldn't help but marveling at just how easy it was to move around in high heels. They felt so comfortable and easy, though I strongly doubted they would be so in the real world. I wasn't sure if it was because I was in Purgatory... or because I was a little bit dead. Either way, I didn't particularly care, or give it any further thought. Once I was finished, I climbed off of the stage, grinning at how fun that had been, and amazed that I'd probably been at it for several hours and wasn't even sweating in the least. Hell, I wasn't tired or breathing even a little hard either. In a way though, that did almost take the fun out of it. Almost. With that, I let everything that I'd summoned up vanish again, leaving me surrounded by the flat gray of purgatory. My excitement faded at the sight, making me wonder what I was going to do next. I'd already seen that there wasn't really much to do around Purgatory unless I came up with it myself. Somehow, I didn't think that it would take too long for me to go nuts with boredom. Suddenly the air began to shimmer, the first sign of movement that I'd seen which I hadn't created myself. Then to my surprise, I saw the gates... standing there in front of me. And a moment later, out stepped two figures, one from each of them. A devil and an angel. "Damn," I muttered as they both came towards me. These were definitely not the same devil and angel that I'd talked to through the gates before. For one, this angel was a woman who looked to be in her mid thirties and had long reddish brown hair. She looked just a little familiar for some reason, though I couldn't quite place why. And the new devil was a man in his early twenties with long greasy hair and several days of beard growth. A trident was also clutched in his hand. "Hey man," the devil grinned, "Where's your tools?" I was confused about what he meant for a moment until I realized that he meant my halo and trident. Then, just as I was about to tell him to 'go to hell', I suddenly froze and stared at him again in amazement. "Zip?" I gasped as I stared at the devil, my mouth nearly dropping in surprise. "Long time no see," Zip laughed, "But I must say you sure are looking a lot better than the last time I saw your loser ass." For a moment, I just stared at Zip, still a little stunned at the sight of an old friend of mine... one who'd died 9 years before I had. We went to high school together... and got into a hell of a lot of trouble together when we were younger. Then, I got hold of myself and gave Zip the greeting that he deserved... I punched him hard enough to knock his ass on the ground. "That's for leaving me in jail for 3 months you fucking asshole!" At one time, Zip and I had gotten involved in a bit of... redecorating some public property. He'd used me as a distraction and let the cops take me while he got away. Then the bastard had gone and gotten himself killed in a botched store robbery while I was behind bars. "And it's good to see you," I added, taking another look at Zip. There was something in his eyes that said he hadn't been doing all that well. Then again, I guess that was expected since he'd been in Hell the whole time. Probably not even in his own form either from the odd way he moved... as though he wasn't completely used to that body anymore. Once I was done taking a look at Zip, I looked back at the angel, haunted by the feeling that she looked familiar. I knew her... but I just didn't remember from where. She looked about the same age as I was, so maybe we went to school together too... "Don't you remember me dear?" the woman asked with a gentle smile. That smile... I knew that smile... "Perhaps this will help," she said, her body changing... growing older in front of me. A second later, I was staring at a white haired old lady. "Do you remember me now?" "G... Grandma..." I gasped in amazement, staring at her in disbelief. I hadn't seen my grandma in... well, since I was 12. Back then, my family used to visit her all the time, back before she died. I remembered all of the times I helped her in the kitchen, the times she would tell stories about almost everything, and most of all, how she was never mad when I got all dirty while playing. She'd always told me that it was the God given right of every little boy. It wasn't until that moment that I realized just how much I had missed her. Grandma smiled and her body changed again, this time leaving her to look as though she were in her mid twenties... about the age that I now appeared. "It is good to see you again dear," Grandma exclaimed, throwing her arms around me in a hug, but adding, "But you've changed so much..." "It's called life," I responded, hugging her back, "And death." And of course, it had been just over 20 years since I'd last seen her. As we pulled apart, my Grandma apologized, "I am not allowed to remain here long and had to plead for even that much." She paused for a moment, giving me a careful look and shaking her head slightly. I could see some disappointment in her eyes, sensing that it was because I'd grabbed the trident... and the choices in my life, which led me to that option. However, I could still sense the love coming from her, feeling warmed and comforted by it. "I came to see you," she told me, "and to try helping you... and answering your questions." I nodded, then glanced over at Zip who shrugged, "To be honest man," he said with a smirk, "I get bonus points if I can talk you into swearing loyalty to the Lord of Hell." It was surprisingly blunt and honest, but that wasn't too unexpected from Zip. After all, he'd always been pretty blunt, especially when he knew that I didn't take well to lies and manipulation. Whenever people tried those on me, I tended to get rather stubborn. For a moment, I stared at Zip thoughtfully, then looked back at Grandma who looked embarrassed. "The condition of my being allowed here was that I try getting you to swear loyalty to Heaven." With that, I just shook my head and sighed. "So," I started, deciding to change the subject a little, "you said that you could answer some of my questions..." "What I can dear," my Grandma answered. It was strange hearing that from what looked like a young woman. "First off, " I gestured down at my highly feminized body, "how can I get changed back into a guy?" I didn't really mind being a woman, and it certainly wasn't uncomfortable. In fact, It had been rather fun so far. However, I'd lived as a man my whole life and my current form was only supposed to be temporary so I was curious about how to change out of it. There was a moment of silence from both Zip and Grandma before she slowly said, "There is a small problem..." Zip laughed, "No shit," earning a glare from both me and Grandma. She looked down at the ground as though she was embarrassed, but she continued, "Had you chosen Heaven alone, you would have been given the freedom to choose your own form. But now... the taint of Hell you posses prevents the powers of Heaven from altering your outward form." "Hell can't touch you either," Zip admitted, "because your link to Heaven." He sounded somewhat envious of that, making me wonder just what they had done to him down there. "Both powers resist the influence of the other," Grandma continued, "and since you are infused with both..." She left it unsaid, looking rather apologetic. "Neither can touch your fucking ass," Zip laughed, a look of cruel amusement in his eyes. "You're stuck as a fucking chick!" He burst out laughing, "Sucks to be you." I just shrugged at that, feeling a little disappointed but not completely devastated, as Zip seemed to think I should be. Even my Grandma seemed startled by my calm acceptance of this. "I think that only the Lord himself can change you now," my Grandma finished, though I barely paid much attention to that. With a sigh I looked around, deciding that this was a bit awkward with all three of us just standing there. At the same time, I realized that it didn't have to be so concentrated and smiled slightly as 3 chairs and a table with 3 beers on it all appeared in front of us. "Might as well be comfortable," I commented. It took me a moment to realize that Grandma and Zip were both staring at me in amazement, their mouths open in expressions of surprise. "How..." Grandma started. Zip finished it with a near simultaneous, "How the fuck did you do that?" "What?" I asked in confusion, taking a seat and gesturing for them to sit as well. Grandma slowly touched one of the chairs as if to verify that it was real before she sat in it. Zip wasn't nearly as cautious, though there was still an impressed look on his face. "You changed Purgatory," Grandma exclaimed, tapping at the table with her fingers as though she was not completely certain that it was really there. "You can't do that... you're not supposed to..." She looked a little confused. I put my hand on Grandma's to get her to stop tapping and said, "Calm down and tell me what's wrong." It wasn't really a request. "You're not supposed to be able to fucking change anything here," Zip blurted out, earning a quick glare from me. "He's right dear," Grandma said slowly, looking a little more composed. "Purgatory is... is a neutral place. Neither Heaven nor Hell have hold here." She paused for a moment, adding, "It is the emptiness between the two... unchanging." "Hell can't do much here," Zip admitted, then spitting, "and neither can..." He gestured towards Heaven's gate. "And not the fuck like this." For a moment, I just sat there, thinking about what they were saying, though that didn't stop them from continuing to interrupt each other. From what I was able to pick up though, Purgatory really was that boring gray nothing... and no one from Heaven or Hell could do ANYTHING here... except for God himself, and maybe the Devil. "Then how come I can do this?" I asked aloud, gesturing to the side and making a Christmas tree appear, with a ribbon wrapped Porche next to it. But before either of them could say anything, it came to me. Grandma had said it herself, Purgatory was neutral. The power of Heaven couldn't do anything to it, nor could the power of Hell, but if both of them were together... like in me. Suddenly I pictured it like trying to lift something large. If you tried lifting something from just the far ends of it, you couldn't. It would be too unwieldy and unbalanced. But if you got in the center, if you got balanced, you could lift it a lot easier. And that was what I had... balance. That gave me the leverage that neither Heaven nor Hell possessed. Feeling satisfied with myself, as well as just a little smug, I muttered, "Cool." I decided that I liked being able to do something that no devil or angel could do. I looked up at Zip, realizing that he was still talking, this time he was excitedly going on, "And maybe my boss can get you down there." He stared right at me with a slightly predatory grin, "I'll be just like old times. And with you being able to do that, there's no telling how far you could go down there." My Grandma just looked at Zip disapprovingly. "I certainly hope that you don't plan on going with that nasty young man." I just rolled my eyes while she told me that she'd always tried raising me to be a good boy and didn't expect anything different now. With a sigh, I looked around at the endless gray and remembered another question that had been pestering me since I'd come there. "Where are all the people?" I asked, "I thought that there were supposed to be a lot of people here." "There are," Grandma exclaimed, "well, lots of souls at least." I took another look around and shook my head, "I haven't seen any yet." Grandma smiled, the same smile that she had always given when I was a kid and had asked odd questions, "Seeing isn't always everything." "He doesn't want that Yoda crap lady," Zip spat out. Then he told me, "You're just not looking at it right. You're still trying to see things like you used to, but you're not on Earth anymore." That didn't make much sense, but Grandma went on, "Adjust your eyes dear, try to see beyond the physical. That is just the comforting illusion..." I wasn't quite sure what Grandma and Zip meant, but I tried to adjust my eyes anyway. And as I tried to do so, I suddenly knew what they meant and instinctively did it. It was as though I had simply been refusing to see something I wasn't ready for and finally opened my eyes to it. And at that instant, the rest of Purgatory was revealed to me. "What the fuck?" I gasped, as I looked around, hardly able to believe what I was seeing. Purgatory was still the same, but there was much, much more at the same time. It was as though I was seeing a whole other layer of reality added on top of what was already there. And what I saw were people... or glowing lights in the general shape of people, and all of them standing motionless. They were everywhere...in rows and rows along the ground, equally distanced apart...and extending as far as I could see. And as I looked up, I could see more of them above me the same way, with more above them and so on. Then I slowly looked at the ground, seeing that these glowing human shapes were even below the ground. "Those are the souls who were assigned to Purgatory," Grandma explained. "They didn't earn entrance to Heaven but didn't do anything bad enough to go to Hell." I stood up and slowly went to one, staring at it in silent amazement. Outwardly, it looked about the same as all of the others, with a sort of flat grayness to the soul. That seemed appropriate considering the way everything else in that place was gray as well. "Souls..." I whispered as I moved to the next, staring at it, then into it. Suddenly I could make out something of the soul, of the person this had been, though it wasn't too clear. It had been a woman...a middle aged woman with several children. She had gone to work and raised her family, living a nice ordinary life until her abrupt death, though I couldn't make out what that had been. I shook my head and moved to the next soul, looking at it and seeing a teenage boy who'd developed some sort of disease. Though I couldn't tell anything about what kind of disease it was, I knew that he had suffered with pain and weakness before his death. After this, I turned my attention back to Zip and Grandma, staring at them for a moment, filled with amazement... and questions. Finally, I asked, "Why are they just standing around?" I gestured around at the countless humanoid shapes, all of which were motionless. "They are..." Grandma started thoughtfully, "asleep." "Asleep," I repeated taking another look around and knowing that it was somewhat more than that. There was a feeling that this was the same kind of sleep that the devil and angel in the mirrors first woke me from. "It's pretty fucked up," Zip snorted, sounding both disgusted and envious at the same time. "Fucking vegetables." "Why are they... asleep?" I asked, frowning as I did so. "That is the fate of the souls who are consigned to Purgatory," Grandma said, "They are neither punished or rewarded. They just remain in... limbo. Asleep." I took another look at the countless souls which were just standing or hovering, stretching as far as the eye could see. A faint chill ran down my spine at the thought, a feeling of unease. Those were the people who weren't good enough to get into Heaven or bad enough to go to Hell. And with that, I suddenly realized exactly what Purgatory really was. "A warehouse," I whispered. Purgatory was nothing more than a warehouse for all of the souls who didn't go to one extreme or the other. To exist like that, but not exist... that settled into my gut like a lump of lead. "What the fuck kind of afterlife is that?" Grandma gave me the look that said she didn't approve of my profanity, but I didn't give a damn. Instead, I just looked around for a moment more, shaking my head slightly as I did so. "So everyone who doesn't go to Heaven or Hell just gets stuffed into this warehouse for eternity?" I snorted. There was a moment of silence before Zip spat, "Almost. Some stay behind as ghosts." A moment later, he muttered, "Wish I could have." I don't think that he really meant me to hear that. As soon as Zip had finished, Grandma added, "A small percentage of the souls in Purgatory are given another chance. They are sent back to Earth to live new lives, given another chance at choosing Heaven or Hell. Most of those are reincarnated without memories of their past lives." Zip just laughed cruelly, "How many of those fuckers end up right back here again? How many have even been given third and four chances?" I just sat there silently for a moment as I tried to absorb all of this. Who knew that death could be so messed up... so confusing... so... interesting? Suddenly Zip looked at the gate he'd come from, then at me with a nervous, urgent expression. "Hey man," he exclaimed with grin, the same kind of grin he always had when he had some kind of mischief on his mind, "What say you and I blow this boring shit-hole and go get some excitement." I nodded faintly at that, beginning to grin myself. Whatever Zip had planned, I suspected that it would at least be interesting. "What have you got in mind?" "Swear loyalty to the big D man and he might be able to get you access down below," Zip gestured towards the gate, "I'll show you the sights and we can party even more than we used to." "No!" Grandma exclaimed, drawing my attention back to her, "Turn to the Lord, and pray for forgiveness of your sins. He will surely forgive your rash decision," she gestured faintly towards my tail, "and allow you into Heaven." "Grandma..." I started. However, she gave me the slightly patronizing look she often had when I was a child, "Come with me dear and do the right thing." I grimaced at that, beginning to get more than a little annoyed. "I ain't no fucking child," I snapped at my Grandma. "And I'll make my own decisions, thank you." Needless to say, she was shocked at that. I hated it when people tried to push me... even those I loved. "C'mon man," Zip exclaimed, tugging my arm urgently, "Swear it..." "Fuck off!" I snapped, punching him as hard as I could and grinning in satisfaction as he flew ass backwards into the ground. "I said I'll make my own decisions so stop pushing me." "My time... our time is up," Grandma announced sadly. She gave me a look that was filled with both love and disappointment, shaking her head faintly at the same time. "I had hoped you would join me... but I see that your path is your own." With that, my Grandma stood up and looked at the table and chairs with another look of amusement before turning her attention to me. For a moment, she was completely silent as she stared at me... studied me. Then she took a slow step towards the white gate. "Grandma..." I gasped, feeling guilty for the way I'd snapped at her and not wanting her to go. Not when this was the first time I'd seen her since... "It is time for me to go dear," Grandma responded with a smile, then added, "It was nice seeing you again and I hope that we can talk again some day. Goodbye dear..." And with that, she stepped through the gate and vanished. For a moment, I just stared at the gate, not sure what I felt. Then I remembered Zip, thanks to his string of profanities. I looked back at him and saw that he'd gotten back to his feet and was clutching his trident tightly, a pained look on his face. "You've got to swear," Zip snarled, almost threatening me with his trident, "For me... DO IT!" Then there was no almost about his threat...or the psychotic look in his eyes. "What the hell are you doing?" I demanded, getting ready to blast him in self-defense. Then without warning, the dark gate started to shimmer, the glowing red to swirl around like a whirlpool. And though I didn't feel anything, Zip seemed to be pulled towards it a little, though he struggled, grabbing hold of my table as tightly as he could. "NO," Zip screamed out, "Not yet! I need more time..." There was panic in his voice now, "Just a little more..." However, there was no respite as the force pulled Zip even harder towards the swirling gate. I screamed out his name and stared into his eyes, as his body actually seemed to stretch from the force, his legs being pulled like taffy until they were caught up in the swirling. Suddenly his whole body was being twisted and pulled into the gate, his arms just barely hanging onto the table. "NO!" Zip cried out again, just as his hands came loose and he was pulled, screaming and swirling into the gate. A moment later, there was no longer any sign of him... and the gate stopped swirling, returning instead to it's previous red shimmer. After this, all I could do was stare at the black gate, the memory of Zip being pulled inside seared into my memory. I shook my head at that and decided that Hell was probably not quite as fun as Zip had made it sound. Then again, I couldn't help smiling faintly as I thought about just how exciting and challenging it might be to go there and check it out sometime. "Poor Zip," I muttered, turning away from the gate to Hell. I didn't know how long I just stood there, especially since time had no meaning. Then with a shake of my head, I willed myself away from the gates. I willed myself back to somewhere in the middle of the flat gray, deciding that I had a lot to think about... and I didn't want to do it in front of the gates. I leaned back in my recliner and absently flicked my tail back and forth as I watched TV, barely even noticing my wings, which were folded down comfortably behind me. One of my hands was resting comfortably on my naked crotch while I used my longer nails to tap against one of my breasts, smiling faintly as I did so. After a commercial came on, just as I willed it to, I slowly looked around at the huge room I was sitting in. The walls were all made of marble and covered with pictures and paintings that I liked, including a neon Budweiser sign and a painting of 3 dogs playing poker, right next to a copy of the Mona Lisa. It was an odd mix, but I liked it more because of that. There was no telling how long it had been since I'd talked with Zip and my Grandma since time had no meaning in Purgatory, but it seemed like yesterday... as well as a long time ago, both at the same time. I had spent some time just looking at the countless souls that were clearly visible to me now, taking time to stare into them... to see what I could of their lives. And though the details were usually pretty vague, I was still able to make out all of the basics, sometimes even a little more. However, I couldn't help noticing that nearly ever soul I looked at seemed... bland. They all felt sort of boring... sort of gray, like everything else in that place. Well, everything except for me that was. Once I'd tired of looking at souls, I had decided to sit back for a bit, though I sure as hell didn't want to look at the gray nothingness while doing so. And with that, I had conjured up some place that was a whole lot more comfortable... a replica of my old living room. It hadn't taken me long though to get bored of just my living room and to expand my conjured home into a replica of my entire old apartment. "Home sweet home," I had exclaimed in delightedly, feeling very pleased that I could be back in comfortable surroundings rather than just the endless gray nothing. Of course, it didn't take me long to realize that I could conjure up anyplace that I wanted, not just my old home. So with that, I ended up expanding even further, creating myself a mansion in the middle of nowhere... literally. Though I wasn't sure how long I'd stay there, I could at least have fun while I did. At the moment, I was still sitting in front of the TV, slightly amused by the fact that I could watch anything that I wanted to watch, whenever I wanted to watch it, including shows that I made up in my own mind. That part was the most interesting, and I came up with some real interesting ones. "Not bad," I said slowly as I turned off the TV. With that, I stood up and stretched out, smiling as my wings bushed against the recliner. I couldn't resist looking at them and shaking my head in amazement, my tail swishing back and forth at the same time. It was still unbelievable that I had all of these new body parts. My hands went down to my breasts and cupped them at the thought. It might be unbelievable, but it was sure as hell interesting. "Me a chick," I snorted faintly, "Who would have thought it." And for eternity at that, though I tried not to think of that part. It seemed too... unreal, not to mention the fact that I wasn't completely certain that I really would be stuck in my current form for all that time, as attractive as it was. A minute later, I was sitting astride a roaring Harley that I'd created and speeding down a highway that I'd also conjured up. I was enjoying myself, though knew that I would be enjoying it more if there were actually some kind of scenery to go past rather than the flat gray in all directions that made it almost seem as though I was sitting still. And of course, I would need some wind blowing through my hair as well to make it seem more like I was actually moving. Then with a little more concentration, I stretched my will and corrected those absences, smiling as the new trees shot past on both sides and my hair was blown back by the wind. "Being dead ain't half bad," I mused to myself with a grin, though I had to admit that I was beginning to feel a bit lonely. What was the good of being able to have a mansion or a Harley if there was no one around to show it off to? "I guess it ain't half good either," I admitted as the boredom started to sink in. After riding for a short while later, I jumped off of the bike while it was still moving and shot up into the air, not bothering to look down and see if the bike crashed. Instead, I just kept flying, towards nowhere in particular since there was nowhere to go and space seemed to have even less relevance in that limbo than time. Then I started thinking of the gates, the only things that actually seemed to exist in that place which I hadn't created myself. I hadn't been back to them though since Zip and Grandma had left, not having been sure that I wanted to look at them and what they represented to me... locked doors. Of course, I never could resist a challenge... Almost as if thought and action were one, I landed right between the gates, still amazed that I just wanted to be at the gates and I was. For a moment, I just looked back and forth between them then moved towards the white gate. With a smirk, I half sang, "Knock, knock, knocking on Heaven's door," just as I pushed my hand into the shimmering light. As I had expected though, the results were the same as the last time and I was met with too much resistance. "Damn." I glared at the gate, beginning to feel rather pissed off. I even spared a glare for the other gate, wondering who they fuck they were to keep me out. Of course, I didn't bother to remember the fact that I had been offered an invitation of sorts earlier, or that I even had a sort of key with me in the shape of the former halo around my wrist. "Fucking no good bastards," I spat, growing more and more determined to see what was actually on the other sides of these gates. On an impulse, I shifted my eyes again and let myself look at things the same way I did when was looking at those souls. I wasn't too surprised to notice that there weren't any of those floating souls around the gates, just like there hadn't been in my mansion after I'd created it. As I looked to the gates themselves, I as startled by what I saw. There was so much more to them, flows of energy around and through them, as well as a new depth. Instead of just sitting there, I could now see... well, sort of see and feel them shifting towards other levels of reality. In a way, I could almost see the shifting from the Heavenly gate going... well, upwards wasn't quite the right word but it would have to do." "Stairway to Heaven," I smirked, wondering what Led Zeppelin would think of the real thing. Of course, the other gate had a similar shift in reality, though I could feel that it was going in sort of the opposite direction. So if the one was going up, I could only describe that one, as going down, but again, up and down weren't really the right words. For some time, I just stood there, staring at the shifting levels of reality that came out from the other end of the gate, feeling them with much more than my eyes. And after I tried pushing m