Personal Shopper
- 1 year ago
- 17
- 0
Personal Shopper free porn video
Personal Shopper
By Emma Smith
Monday, 26 August 2002
Chapter 1
"At last, I have finished it!" he shouted to the empty room
at the top of his voice. He heard someone upstairs banging
on the floor in anger. He continued at a slightly lower
volume.
"For twenty five years they called me mad. Then I changed
my name. Now I, Otto Von Fruitcake, have succeeded where no
one else could," He looked around guiltily and finished his
remark. "Where no one else could be bothered to try."
He broke off his rant to do a little dance around his
rather tastefully decorated mad scientist laboratory. He
had all the gear, even those things with the spark that
goes up the wires. Lots of glass tubes were everywhere,
full of brightly coloured liquids. He'd spent a lot of time
and effort on his laboratory. It was important to do these
things right.
"No longer will I be laughed at in the lingerie department.
No longer will I be scared of buying bikinis. For I have
created Roboshop! The ultimate shopping assistant, to do it
for me."
It looked like he had too. The robot was made in the form
of a rather good-looking young blonde woman. It had been
carefully developed from the cross-dressing mad scientist's
measurements. Anything that fit one would fit the other.
That was why he had built it. It was his proxy shopper. It
stood waiting to be told what to do.
"Are you ready?"
"Yes, Doctor."
Hmm, need to tune the voice a bit. You sound a little off
colour. He tinkered with screwdrivers for a while and then
slammed the access panel shut.
"There!"
"Thank you Doctor."
"Now, review your directives."
"Yes, Doctor."
The point of view of the robot was immediately overlaid
with text, which it read out to him
Roboshop v1.00 (c) 2007 Fruitcake inc. All Rights Reserved.
Directive 1: Always do what the doctor tells me to do
Directive 2: Buy lots of nice clothes
Directive 3: Classified
"Excellent! Soon you will be ready for your first outing."
He looked around at the lab. It really was getting in a bit
of a mess. Some of the glass tubes were running out of
green liquid for one thing.
He wished his last assistant hadn't left, but there'd been
that unpleasant business with the strike. He still
remembered the scuffles on the picket line. Some of those
banners had been downright rude.
He sent the robot to get dressed. He hoped it would pick
something sensible out of his wardrobe. The program for
fashion sense had been a very difficult one to write. Early
versions had turned out to have no idea about matching
accessories with outfits.
As he was waiting for it to come back he got a phone call.
He supposed he ought to answer it.
"Aha!"
"Oh, my old evil nemesis, Dr Annoying. What do you want?"
"I'm just calling to tell you that my latest scheme is
ready. Soon I shall rule the world."
"What is it this week?"
"Damn you Fruitcake! This time I'm not going to tell you."
He hung up. "That guy gives mad scientists a bad name."
The robot had finished dressing itself and came back for
approval. It was wearing a pale blue blouse and short navy
skirt, some of his favourites incidentally.
It had picked out black medium heeled shoes and a shoulder
bag and computed the outfit co-ordination ratio at 0.97 and
an attractiveness factor of 0.94.
"Is this appropriate doctor?"
"Not bad, not bad. A little too much eyeliner maybe but I
think you'll do."
"Yes doctor."
"Now, get out there and get me the items on this list."
"Yes doctor. What about money?"
"Ah yes. Take this." He handed over a stack of cash. The
money was from the last invention he'd sold.
The electric cheese grater seemed to be proving pretty
popular. There'd only been three serious accidents with it
so far. Nobody had died yet, a step forward from the last
six inventions. The electric blanket for the bathroom had
been particularly problematic.
They were nearly ready. He called out instructions from a
checklist and flicked switches as he did so.
"Activate female walking pattern - check. Activate smile -
check. Activate intolerance for unattractive males - check.
Activate primary shopping circuits - check. Activate hair-
flicking modes - check."
When it was all done he watched the robot leave and rubbed
his hands together. After he'd given it time to get there
he'd use the control panel to watch what was going on and
give it some fine-tuning. He'd never get laughed at in
shops again. What could go wrong?
Chapter 2
Using the television in its control panel the doctor was
able to see what the robot was seeing. It had now arrived
at the shops and was in search mode, looking through
various racks of clothes for things that matched the list
it had been given.
"No you dummy! Get me the underwear first."
The robot obligingly dropped the skirt it was carrying. It
turned around and marched off, treading on the discarded
skirt. For the other people watching the scene on their
cameras it looked very suspicious indeed.
"Hey! Kevin! Did you see that!"
"What?"
"Looks like we've got a mad woman in the shop. We'd better
keep an eye on her. She might be nicking stuff."
The robot was browsing in the lingerie department. It was
checking through the available underwear, trying to match
the profiles the doctor had given it.
"That pink one is cute!" He told it over the radio link.
The robot grabbed the bra and matching briefs and checked
the sizes against its database. They matched. It strode
over the counter.
"I wish to purchase these items."
"Don't you want to try them on first?"
"Yes, you are right."
The robot started to unbutton its blouse. The watching
doctor was horrified. He pushed at buttons madly. The
assistant intervened.
"Err, maybe you should use one of our changing rooms." She
pointed over to the corner of the room.
"Oh. It seems unnecessary but I shall comply with your
request."
In the curtained changing room there was soon a frantic
conversation going on, with only one of the participants
visible.
"What are you doing?"
"Sorry, I didn't see why this was necessary. It is
inefficient."
"People don't like seeing each others bodies. Not in
clothes shops anyway"
"Humans are stupid."
"Never mind that, check the bra out. Hey that's not bad.
Pink is a good colour. I like how it looks. We'll take it."
Five minutes later the first part of the mission had been
completed. The robot had also acquired a nice black
swimsuit for him that he intended to wear in the bath
later. His fiendish plan was working. He did a few mad
scientist cackles, just to keep in practice.
Upstairs the security people were reviewing the tapes.
They'd now reviewed them several times but had still not
managed to see anything during the unbuttoning.
"Did you see that Kev?"
"Yeah, she was going to strip off right there."
"Wow! I bet we could have got a few quid for that. You
know, we could sell the tape to one of those programmes for
stupid people who've got nothing better to do than sit
around all day and watch Tele."
"Err. We sit around all day, watching Tele."
"That's different. We're working."
Chapter 3
After plundering the swimwear department the robot had been
sent down one floor to look at more clothes. Its progress
had been slightly hindered by the doctor continually
changing his mind about what direction it should be going
in. For a couple of seconds it looked like it was trying to
dance.
"Hey, Kevin. She's drunk now. Look at that."
"She seemed all right a minute ago."
"Keep watching. We could make a series out of this. I'll
get another tape ready."
The doctor now had his proxy looking at desirable
eveningwear. The dresses were expensive but very tempting.
The robot was checking out a nice little black number when
it was approached by an assistant.
"Does madam require any assistance?"
"Yes. What is the composition of this material? It appears
to have a high concentration of artificial fibre."
"No, no, no! When I ask if you need help you are supposed
to tell me that you are just looking. Then I go and stand
over there and stare at you very intensely until you leave
without buying anything."
"Must I?"
"It is traditional Madam."
"Very well, in that case I am just looking."
"Thank you. I will be off to stare at you now. That wasn't
too hard was it?"
"No. This is an interesting ritual."
The doctor was watching this performance carefully. He gave
his creation some encouragement.
"Don't let her put you off, and don't dare come out of
there without a nice dress. Let's see that black one again.
No, maybe the blue one."
The robot stood and swivelled its head between two the
racks continually so the doctor could choose. The other
audience appreciated this performance a good deal.
"Look at her head! Maybe it will spin right round like in
that horror film."
"Cool!"
The doctor had reached a decision while this conversation
was going on.
"I can't decide. You'd better get both of them."
The robot's arms shot out and grabbed both dresses
precisely before folding them over the arm and collecting
its bags in one graceful and continuous motion. It went to
pay for the clothes.
"There's something really funny about her."
"Maybe she's a shoplifter?"
"So why does she keep buying things?"
"Maybe she's just learning?"
"Hmm."
They watched the robot pay for the dresses and walk out of
the department, heading to another part of the store. They
switched cameras to follow its progress.
Now it was time for make-up. The robot consulted its
database of price; performance and. assistant attitude
factors and tried to decide which brands to go for. This
place must have about thirty different counters; all
staffed by women who looked like models, some of them
plastic models admittedly.
It finally found one where it could only be expect to be
insulted on average 3.7 times and to pay only 2.47 times as
much as it would when buying very similar things from a
normal store. The doctor had been explicit though; he
wanted some nice things. This had to be done.
Unfortunately the doctor had programmed the machine based
on the reactions he always got when he bought make-up. His
insane cover stories were never going to be a winner in
this situation.
"I do not wish for an argument. I wish to buy some make-
up."
"What?"
"It's not for me. It's for my, err, second cousin who
coincidentally is exactly the same size as me."
"Right? What do you want."
"Is it okay if I try it? I mean, as we're the same size and
everything. Then I will know it's right for her you see."
"I'm going to call security."
"There is no need. I am leaving now. Okay."
The doctor had been watching this with his hand clasped to
his face. Oh God! How could he have been so stupid? The
robot doesn't need that elaborate charade. She's a woman.
She just buys stuff.
"I am now going to download you some new programs. I think
a different approach is called for."
"Ready to receive."
Thirty seconds later the robot was ready to try again.
"Hi! Honey. Can I see some of those shades."
"Certainly? Does madam wish to spend a stupid amount of
money, or merely a silly one?"
"Silly today I think."
"Excellent. Then I recommend these."
"Can I try them out?"
"No. One of our intmidatingly beautiful saleswomen will
make you up with them and you won't dare disagree with her,
even if you do look awful."
"Fine."
Ten minutes later another item had been crossed off the
list. The watching doctor was really pleased. "By tonight I
will be the best dressed mad scientist in town," he told
himself. Just then the phone interrupted him again.
"Annoying!"
"That's me."
"God! It is you again. What is it now?"
"Just to let you know that I know about your little robot.
I've got a very interesting tape on its way to me. I'm
going to run it at the next guild meeting. You'll be a
laughing stock in front of everybody."
"Curses. You don't scare me though."
"Well. My next invention might."
"What is it?"
"You'll find out Ha! Ha! Ha!" He laughed madly for about
thirty seconds and then disconnected. I took out my mad
scientist guild book and looked up the procedures for
getting someone thrown out. It was pretty complex and
seemed to require an obscure ceremony involving fish, but
then we are all mad. I needed something quicker, and less
piscine.
Chapter 4
The robot now faced its final challenge. It needed to get
me some more shoes. I only have forty-seven pairs at the
moment. There's no way a girl can manage like that. I
directed it to the right department.
After wandering off for about ten minutes the assistant
finally produced the matching shoes for the six pairs the
robot had selected. Operating at full speed it completed
the process of trying them all on in about two seconds.
"Did you see that?"
"No Kevin."
"No wonder. It looked like the bionic woman. She's strange
all right."
The assistant was looking very shocked and the doctor tried
to get the robot to cover up.
"I am sorry, I don't know what came over me."
It went back and tried them all again. This time it was
done at normal speed.
"I will take these two pairs. The other four are out
tolerance by an average of 0.1 inches approximately for the
stated size. If I was to wear them for prolonged periods my
feet may suffer adverse effects."
"Err, yes of course madam."
After completing the formalities at the cash desk the robot
now had quite a large collection of bags. The doctor was
very pleased with the way things had gone. He told the
robot to head for home as quickly as possible. It started
to do so.
"No, don't run along the road at thirty miles per hour."
"It is the quickest way home."
"It's not the most subtle. Stop now and get in a taxi."
All I have to do now is wait. He thought and soon enough
the robot arrived home and dumped its purchases on the
floor in front of him.
"You have done well my pretty!"
"Thanks doctor. I want to try this stuff on now."
"What? I didn't program that."
The robot grabbed the bags and headed for the bedroom.
"What are you doing?"
"I need to see how I look in that new dress. I have a date
tonight and he says he might take me somewhere nice on
Saturday?"
"Who did? Where? What? How?"
"Your questions need to be restated before they can be
answered."
"Who?"
"The man I met on the way home. We shared a taxi. He has a
desirability coefficient of 0.91 according to your
programming."
"What?"
"I believe it is called a date. Apparently two humans meet
up and talk. Sometimes they even tell each other the
truth."
"Where?"
"We're just going for a quiet drink somewhere."
"In my clothes?"
"Thanks for letting me borrow them doctor? They are a good
fit."
"Of course they are! You ungrateful piece of machinery."
"I am not ungrateful. Besides I bought two dresses. This
one is yours." The robot handed him the cute blue dress and
one of the pairs of shoes.
"Well, thanks."
Chapter 5
I sat in my favourite chair. I was not a very happy mad
scientist. I hadn't felt so bad since that stupid assistant
broke the electric shock machine. The phone rang again.
"Ha!"
"Oh it's you again."
"That's right Fruitcake. I decided to wait a week to take
over the world."
"Weather not too good?"
"No I had a much better idea. Ha! Ha!"
"Are you going to tell me."
"Yes, I built my own robot."
"To do what?"
"Well, at the moment it's taking your robot out on a date."
"Curses. You fiend!"
"In a couple of weeks my robot will move in with your
robot."
"No!"
"Yes! You'll never get your clothes back from her now.
You'll have wear dull tedious men's clothes all the time.
And that, Doctor Fruitcake, will be my punishment. And you
will hate every minute of it."
"You swine!"
"Thanks. I try my best. Don't forget my invite to the
wedding."
He disconnected, laughing uncontrollably. There must be
something I can do.
I know. I'll build a third robot and get that to break up
the relationship. It will have to be programmed to be
sneaky, devious, underhanded and unprincipled. Fortunately,
those are my best character traits. It should be a doddle.
No wait a minute. Then he'll just build another robot to
distract mine. By Christmas we'll be unable to move for
robots. Why don't I just build myself a boyfriend robot?
Then we can at least go on double dates.
Or what if I modify his robot so it wants to wear her, my,
clothes. Then she'll throw it out and we can get back to
the normal business of mad scheming and taking over the
world.
Or maybe I've had it with robots. Maybe I can just put an
advert in the local paper "Cross dressing mad scientist
seeks understanding M/F for fun and maybe more. Must be
willing to share with two robots." I didn't get any replies
last time though, and that was without the robots.
I punched up the robot viewpoint again to see what was
going on. It looked like they were in a bar.
"You have beautiful hair."
"Thanks. Its shade number 133R from the catalogue. I like
the construction of your shoulders."
"Thanks."
Doesn't sound wooden at all. They sound like two normal
robots sitting around having a date. Great! Now what was I
going to do about it? I watched for a while and then I saw
something that made me jump up in triumph. I called my
archenemy.
"Ah, Annoying!"
"What is it Fruitcake?"
"Doctor Fruitcake to you."
"So?"
"Your cunning plan has failed. There'll be no robotic
romance."
"What? You're crazy Fruitcake."
"You didn't program your robot to know that it was a robot.
Obviously they found out the hard way when things started
to get a bit serious. You may have overlooked one or two
features in its construction. It's coming back to your
place to give you a sound thrashing."
"What?"
"No need to thank me. I'll see you later, in hospital
probably."
He laughed loudly, then disconnected and went back to
rubbing his hands together and cackling madly. About half
an hour later the robot arrived, looking dejected. For a
minute he felt sorry for it and wanted to hug it.
"There now dear. I know you're upset."
"Men!"
"Don't be unhappy about it. You'll get over it. Just put my
nice clothes back in my wardrobe and we'll forget all about
it."
"Sorry, I can't do that. I need them. While I was at the
bar I got these."
The robot produced a stack of business cards with men's
phone numbers on them.
"I couldn't stop them. They kept coming up to me and saying
'Call me baby!' of course I did that but they didn't seem
to know what I meant. I worked out later that they meant
that I should telephone them."
"I think I may have built you a little too well. Okay,
we'll compromise. You can go out with men if you like. But,
you have to get your own clothes. And you have to keep my
wardrobe topped up for me as well."
"Okay doctor."
"That's that then."
"Oh. Would you like to join us on Saturday night? I think I
have a spare card among all these."
"Err..."
The robot handed him the blue dress and smiled.
"This one is yours after all."
The End
Jane
- 30.12.2021
- 22
- 0
