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Subliminal Revenge By Angela J. "I am here about the apartment," said Jake. Cedric never expected to see the bully that constantly tormented him though out high school ever again. He had placed the ad in the local paper looking for a roommate because his old roommate recently got married and moved out. He just wanted a roommate to help with the expenses. But fate brought something completely different. It brought Jake Peterson to Cedric's front door. Memory of humiliation and fear flooded Cedric's mind. In his mind, Cedric could still hear his old nickname "Sissy Cedric." Jake gave him that nickname when Cedric ran home instead of meeting Jake after school to fight. The nickname probably would not have stuck, except for the fact that Jake was much smaller than Cedric. But it wasn't fair. Despite his small build, Jake was an athlete. He was the starting quarterback in the school football team, the tennis team captain, and the starting point guard for the basketball team. Jake certainly was not the biggest guy in school, but he was surprisingly strong and was the fastest, most agile and most accurate athlete at the school. Cedric, on the other hand, despite being large, was just clumsy. He knew that he never stood a chance in fight against Jake. So why fight? If Cedric had only known then the consequences of running from the fight, he would have gladly taken the beating. The nickname was terrible. But it didn't end with just name-calling. Jake and his buddies actually made Cedric wear his sister's panties to school. They threatened to beat up Cedric unless he obeyed their orders. To Cedric's horror, Jake made sure that everyone knew what Cedric was wearing under his pants. After that incident, the guys barred Cedric from the boy's bathroom. It got so bad, that Cedric, in desperation, complained to the principal. But that only made things worse. The principal had a "talk" with Jake. But instead of stopping the torment, Jake and his buddies redoubled their efforts after the talk. One time, Jake and his buddies pulled down Cedric's pants in front of several other students and each took turns spanking Cedric's pantied bottom. Cedric's high school days were a living hell after that incident. But that was all in the past. It should have remained in the past. After all, allot has happened since high school. He was no longer clumsy. Due to his dedication to regular exercise, Cedric was in the best shape of his life. He was even popular and was on the verge of being very successful. He was a thesis away from getting a Doctorate in Psychology, but it wasn't the degree per se that promised him a successful career. Through his research, he found a method of delivering subliminal messages that promised to be highly effective. All preliminary tests came out positive. It was a difficult process and required repetition, but it seemed to work. The secret was fairly simple, the subliminal messages had to be targeted on the specific individual. The time and promise of success healed some of the old wounds. But seeing Jake seemed to remake the wounds. The memories actually pained him. And the pain made him want something more than anything in the world. Fate's temptation was just too much for Cedric. He wanted revenge. Cedric pictured himself punching Jake. But that thought vanished, when to Cedric's surprise, he saw no sign of recognition from Jake. That angered Cedric at first but then at once he knew that it presented an opportunity. So Cedric forced a smile. "My name is Carl," Cedric introduced himself using his middle name. "Let me show you the place." Jake was not happy with what he saw. The apartment was big enough and the rent was cheap enough. But it was just too neat. He just moved out of his girl's place because she constantly nagged him. One of the things she nagged him about was to clean up after himself. The move had meant that he had to get a job. He hated to work and enjoyed mooching off of his girl. But he couldn't stand another night of complaints. Job or no job, he had to get away from her. Earlier that day, he found a job unloading trucks at a warehouse. It wasn't the greatest job in the world but at least he didn't have to think. Jake dropped out of College because he hated to think. He only gave College a shot because he wanted to be a football star. But he was just too small for College Football. After three years of sitting on the bench and only seeing action during blowouts, it was obvious that he was not going to play any meaningful minutes. He quit the team out of disgust and then quit school. If he'd only been bigger he probably would have realized his dreams of becoming a NFL quarterback. Not knowing what else to do, he joined the army. But that also proved to be unhappy time. He hated waking up early and having to obey orders. He got out as soon as his service time expired. After that, it was a string of temporary jobs and girlfriends he could mooch off of using his boyish good looks. His latest girl was sexy and gave great head but was not the sharpest knife in the drawer. She actually believed him when he told her that he loved her and that he would someday marry her. She was completely shocked when he moved out. "You are not some kind of neat freak are you?" asked Jake looking at the clean living room. The way Jake asked that question left no doubt in Cedric's mind that Jake was a slob, a slob that hated non-slobs. "No," answered Cedric, thinking that he had to convince Jake to move in with him at all costs. "My former roommate cleaned the place before he left. I am a total slob." "Good," Jake said, "I guess I will give this place a try. But don't expect us to become buddies or anything. I will stay out of your business and you stay out of mine, understood?" Cedric smiled and nodded, effectively hiding his hatred. "Which one is my room?" asked Jake. Jake moved in to the apartment by carrying his large blue suitcase. And then, without even introducing himself, walked to the bedroom that Cedric pointed to, and closed the bedroom door behind him. He was happy to note that the room was already furnished with a bed and a television. Jake tossed the contents of his suitcase on to the floor and lay on the bed and turned on the television. He flipped through the channels until he found professional wrestling and then began to yell at the screen. Cedric had all lot of work ahead of him to get his plan off the ground. In order for his plan to work, Cedric had to be persistent and patient. He needed to devote full concentration. He made several phone calls to his friends, and family letting them know that he was not to be bothered. This of course was not unusual for Cedric. He often took breaks from personal life to immerse himself into his research. Now all he had to do was check in with his mentor professor once a week. After guarding against unwanted interruptions, he went to his computer in his bedroom and began programming various images and text that would provide pay back. He merged Jake's high school yearbook photos with pictures of a girl that resembled him. He found the girl's picture after searching through the Internet for the right candidate. She looked like she could have been Jake's sister. After merging the pictures into different stages of masculinity and feminity, Cedric loaded the merged pictures into a database to create images of the merged character doing different activities and in different surroundings. While Cedric diligently worked on his program, Jake got beers from Cedric's refrigerator without even asking and took them to his room. After wrestling ended, Jake couldn't find anything that he wanted to watch, so after an hour of just flipping through channels, he turned off the television and concentrated on drinking all the beer. His goal was to get drunk. That's what he did after he broke up with his girls. After several hours of drinking, he finally fell asleep. The empty cans of beer were tossed on top of his clothing. The next day, Jake found his job unbearable. He had a big hangover from drinking all night. But the worst part was that he hated working. It wasn't that his job was tough, he just wasn't used to working. It was so boring. Then, he saw and seized on the opportunity for fun. A guy twice as big as Jake, was having a hard time with the boxes. He was actually whimpering. Jake started to make fun of the guy by mimicking the whimpering and laughing at the wimp. Soon everyone was laughing and acting like the big wimp. The guy eventually actually looked like he may cry. This brought on more teasing. Lunchtime was especially fun, partially because he didn't have to work but partially because his new friends laughed at Jake's jokes about the wimp. After finishing the first phase of the program, Cedric went into Jake's room to install and network a tivo system and a hidden camera. He was disgusted to find several cans of beer on the floor. Jake's clothing on the floor was bad enough, but the cans were just too much. The room stank. Cedric would have to change that soon. After he networked his computer with the just installed tivo system and the hidden camera, Cedric added more messages and images to the program in reaction to his latest findings and waited for his victim to come home. Jake was glad to be back at the apartment. He hated work so much that he thought about quitting several times. It wasn't that he hated the particular job; he just hated work in general. He would have to find another girl or would have to apologize to his to current girl before his roommate asked for rent. Jake decided to work one more week or two to get some spending money and then quit. He could probably avoid paying the rent for at least couple more weeks and then he would bail without paying. He'd probably have to apologize to his girl, but he would worry about that when the time came. Jake, satisfied with his plans went to get more beer. But remembering the hangover, he grabbed a can of coke and a sandwich from the refrigerator and headed to his room. To his surprise, Jake saw a tivo system attached to his television. He didn't think that it was there last night. But then again, he was drunk last night so he probably just didn't notice it. Without giving it another thought, he turned on the television and flipped through the channels until he found college football on espn. As he watched he thought to himself, "both quarterbacks suck, I could do a much better job." Cedric felt excitement as he loaded the first string of subliminal messages into the tivo system "I like to watch television." "I don't want to miss anything good." "The television should always be on." These and similar messages were coupled with recently manufactured pictures of the Jake/girl merged character watching television. At this point, the merged pictures showed allot more of Jake's features than the girl's. In fact, unless you knew that these pictures were doctored, one would think that they were pictures of a high school age Jake, who had slightly feminine features. A barely visible background with pleasant images surrounded the messages and the pictures, and together they flashed for fraction of a second and then repeated over and over again. After a short period additional messages, images, and backgrounds were added. "I like my room clean." "I hate it when my room is dirty." "My room should always be clean." "It bothers me when my room is a mess." "I can't sleep in a dirty room." "I like cleaning my room." "It relaxes me to clean my room." Again these messages were coupled with appropriate images and backgrounds. Several old pictures of Jake's room in a clean condition was shown with barely visible backgrounds that were pleasing while recent pictures of his dirty room was shown with disturbing backgrounds. In addition, pictures of the merged character cleaning Jake's room were shown with pleasant backgrounds. The merged character, for now exhibited allot more male features than feminine features. These messages, pictures and background repeated over and over again in a loop with the messages, pictures and background regarding the television. After a short period, additional messages, pictures and background were added to the loop. "I like looking neat." "I think this underwear is neat." "I think this underwear is boring." "This underwear fits perfectly." "This underwear is uncomfortable." "I like wearing this underwear." and other similar messages flashed. Images flipped on for fraction of a second to reinforce the messages. Several pictures of the merged character, that was more Jake than girl, wearing plain white female underwear was shown with pleasing backgrounds while several pictures of the merged character wearing similar plain male underwear was shown with boring backgrounds. The pictures with the female underwear was manipulated to look like the underwear fit perfectly while the pictures with the male underwear showed images of the merged character struggling with ill- fitting underwear. Jake watched television until he fell asleep from exhaustion. It wasn't until the next morning, when he finally turned the television off. Jake had another terrible day at work. His hangover was gone but so was his entertainment. The guy that he was making fun of quit. But that wasn't the only thing bothering Jake. His underwear was really uncomfortable. It seemed to get botched up constantly. The only thing that prevented him from quitting was the knowledge that it was Friday and that he would have the weekend to watch television. For some reason, he really wanted to watch television. He kept thinking about the programming that he was missing by being at work. As soon as he got to the apartment, he went straight to his room, took off his jeans and removed his underwear and instantly felt better. After tossing the worn underwear to the floor, he rummaged through his clothing and found another pair. Unfortunately, it too felt uncomfortable and looked boring. He decided to ignore the discomfort for the moment and finished getting re-dressed. To help him ignore the discomfort, Jake went into the kitchen and as expected grabbed a coke and a sandwich next to it, with stickers indicating that they belonged to "Carl." He just tossed the stickers to the kitchen floor and carried his meal to his room. What Jake did not realize was that his coke and sandwich were coated with tasteless, odorless female hormones that Cedric bought through the Internet. To an untrained eye, Jake looked the same as the night before. But thanks to the hidden camera, Cedric could already see signs of change. Jake's facial expression indicated that he was bothered. He still tossed the empty can of coke and the plate on to floor next to the other cans and plate. He didn't like the mess but it didn't bother him enough to do something about it. So he still chose to lie on his bed and watch television and ignore the mess. Jake was pleasantly surprised that tivo automatically recorded programs that it anticipated he would like. He watched a baseball game and couple of action movies. The messages and images from the night before were repeated. But instead of plain white female underwear, the female underwear shown was peach colored and the merged character was slightly more curvaceous. Jake watched until late night when he fell asleep. Jake woke up in the middle of the night feeling really uncomfortable. He couldn't tell what bothered him more the uncomfortable underwear that he was wearing or the damn mess in his room. He got up and took off his pants and tossed it to the floor, and then removed his underwear and was about to toss it too, but was momentarily distracted by the television being on. Still holding the underwear in his hand, he searched in vein for the remote. "I can't find anything is this damn room," he said to himself. "No wonder my girl nagged me so much. Without her, I am pig." That night, with the television still on, Jake did something he hasn't done in years. He cleaned his room. Jake first took the plates and the cans into the kitchen and placed them on the counter. It wasn't until he started hanging his shirts and pants in the closet in his room that he found the remote. But by then, he was fully awake and decided to continue watching television. After he organized his shorts, he matched his socks and put them in a corner of the closet. Jake then had a long look at all his underwear. He just didn't like them. He decided to go without them and tossed all of his underwear into a trashcan in the kitchen. He went back to his room feeling somewhat better. He continued to watch television. As the messages and images continued, the merged character and her panties became more and more feminine. In addition, instead of showing Jake's room in dirty versus clean condition, other rooms in the house were featured. On Saturday morning, Jake intended to briefly interrupt his television watch to get something to eat from the kitchen. But once in the kitchen, Jake could not ignore the plates and cans on the counter. It just looked terribly messy. He tossed the cans into the trash bag that already contained his underwear and took the garbage out to the dumpster. He then washed the dishes and put them in to the appropriate cabinet. He felt better about himself after that and rewarded himself by eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that his roommate apparently made and marked with a sticker that read "Carl's." But instead of taking it to his room, he sat at the table in the breakfast room and ate his breakfast. After finishing his meal and cleaning up, he went back to his room to watch more television. But once he got there, he decided to make his bed and then to do the laundry. His clothing stunk and it caused the entire room to stink. He spent most of Saturday morning cleaning and folding laundry. Finally satisfied with his work, he ate lunch and proceeded to watch more television. He watched several football games. Cedric was pleased with the results thus far. Jake was cleaning and was eating the specially coated meals. If things continued to proceed well, Jake would be a sissy in no time. After dinner, Jake watched a movie that featured several girls running around in their panties and bras. Jake thanked Tivo for recording the movie. He always enjoyed watching halve naked girls. Those girls looked so cute in their respective panties. Some of the panties looked perfect. He really liked the ones with lots of lace. As he watched the movie, he started to remember that his girl had several panties like the ones worn by the girls in the movie. He missed his girl. Perhaps he wouldn't wait couple of weeks to apologize to his girl. After all, he knew that she was right about cleaning after himself. He just had to live without his girlfriend a few days to realize how messy he was. After watching the movie, he walked over to his girl's place intending to apologize. Unfortunately, no one responded to his knocks at the door. When it became apparent that no one was home, Jake used his key to let himself in to his girl's apartment, planning to wait for her inside the apartment. Once in, he was surprised by the messy condition of the apartment. Was it always this messy? The place really needed to be cleaned. Dishes were piled up in the sink and various items were tossed to the floor. The place was so messy that it was making him sick. He really didn't like being in the place. Jake decided to write a letter to his girl and leave as soon as possible. He went into their bedroom to look for a pen and paper. Once in the room, his girl's dresser caught his attention. He knew from memory that she kept her panties in the top left drawer of the dresser. For some reason, he had to see her panties. His hands felt sweaty and his heart beat fast, as he opened the drawer. He saw beautiful panties. They were even more beautiful than the ones worn by the girls in the movie. This is what he loved about his girl. She always wore sexy underwear. He let his hands feel the panties. They felt so comfortable, he had to try one of them on. He quickly removed his shoes and jeans and put on the panties. It felt so good, so right. "WHAT THE HELL!" Jake heard his girl yell from behind him. He turned to face her and heard her say, "You fucking faggot! To think I wasted all my time with you. Get out, get out of my apartment." Jake quickly put his pants back up and put on his shoes and tried to think of something to say. "I am not gay? I just?" "You just like to wear my panties, is that it?" his girl said, "Get the fuck out, you sissy! I never want to see you again," she began to cry. Jake felt deeply ashamed. As he walked out the door, his girl continued to yell at him, "Since you like panties so much, take them; take all of them?" she tossed all her panties at him. "You've soiled them, I can never wear them again? and take my bras too, you pervert." She then tossed her bras out the door and then slammed her door shut. He just stood there, facing the closed door, for a long time. He was mortified. "Why did I put on her panties?" He asked himself over and over again. There was no satisfactory answer he could give himself. But at the same time, he couldn't bring himself to leave the panties on the ground. He wanted to wear them. Was he a sissy? The shame of wanting to wear panties made him hesitate. But in the end, he looked down and saw the beautiful panties and knew deep inside that he would take them. He tossed the bras aside and carefully picked up the panties and put them under his shirt, and carried them back to his apartment. To Jake's relief, his roommate was out of sight. Jake quickly went to his room and closed the door behind him. Cedric was really happy to see Jake carefully hiding his panties in his room. Phase one was a huge success. Jake spent the rest of Saturday cleaning. He was concerned about his obsession over panties but wasn't going to ask anyone about that. Cleaning helped to keep his mind off of it, so clean he did. He vacuumed all the rooms, except his roommate's, which was locked. He mopped the tiles and wiped the counters. He dusted the diploma and picture frames. He even cleaned the bathroom. Cleaning helped him to relax. Exhausted from the day's activity, Jake finally allowed himself time to watch television before going to bed. He watched the recap of the college games on espn. Unknown to Jake, new messages and images were loaded into his tivo system that night. "I need to lose weight." "I don't want to be fat." "I need to take diet pills." "I want to be thin." "I am going to be thin." These and similar messages were coupled with the manufactured pictures of the merged character varying in weight. The merged pictures still showed more of Jake's features than the girl's. But some of the girl's features were really noticeable. A barely visible background with pleasant images surrounded the messages and the pictures of the thin merged character and the diet pills, while an unpleasant background surrounded the pictures of the heavier merged character. Before too long additional messages, pictures and backgrounds were added to the loop. "I like my body without body hair." "I hate it when my body has hair." "My body should always be devoid of hair." "It bothers me when I have body hair." "My body hair makes me itch." "I like getting rid of my body hair." "It makes me feel sexy to have no body hair." Again these messages were coupled with appropriate images and backgrounds. Several pictures of the merged character without body hair were shown with barely visible backgrounds that were pleasing while pictures of the merged character with body hair were shown with disturbing backgrounds. In addition, pictures of the merged character using hair removal cream were shown with pleasant backgrounds. The merged character still exhibited more male features than feminine features. But some of the feminine features were clearly showing. After a short period, additional messages, pictures and background were added to the loop. "I like looking neat." "I think this pants is neat." "I think this pants is boring." "this pants fits perfectly." "this pants is uncomfortable." "I like wearing this type of pants." and other similar messages flashed. Several pictures of the merged character wearing feminine jeans were shown with pleasing backgrounds while several pictures of the merged character wearing similar male jeans were shown with boring backgrounds. The pictures with the feminine jeans was manipulated to look like the jeans fit perfectly while the pictures with the male jeans showed images of the merged character struggling with ill- fitting jeans. As the time passed, the style of the feminine jeans became more and more feminine. The seat area ballooned, zippers disappeared, the fabric became more colorful, and floral patterns were added. Jake woke up feeling terribly uncomfortable. His panties fit fine. But his pants felt awkward. Jake took off his pants hoping that this simple act would magically make him feel better. But to his surprise it only marginally helped. It wasn't just the pants. His entire body felt heavy and his body hair itched him. He took off his shirt too but that provided no help. No matter how he scratched his itch, it didn't go away. It was his damn body hair. He hated how hairy he was. "I am freaking fat hairy monster," he told himself. "No wonder my pants don't fit me." After confirming his suspicion that the rest of his pants would be just as uncomfortable, Jake began to obsess about losing weight and getting rid of his body hair. He felt like he was going out of his mind. He fought the nagging discomfort and tried to forget it by concentrating on the Sunday morning football preview show. But the more he watched the more uncomfortable he felt. Jake decided that he needed to immediately take care of at least one of his problems, his body hair. Intending to shave his entire body, Jake went to the bathroom, covering his panty with a towel, and began to look for a razor. Jake looked in the bathroom cabinet for a razor but instead found a hair removal cream and a bottle of diet pills. "Why did his roommate have this stuff?" he wondered. It made no sense. But the answer didn't seem all that important compared to his immediate need to get rid of his offensive body hair, he used the cream on his entire body, reluctantly taking off his panties to remove his pubic hair. He then sat in a hot tub as instructed on the cream's jar. After soaking for a long time, he felt better. He looked in the full-length mirror and was pleased to note that all his body hair was gone. He now just needed to take care of his weight problem. He swallowed two pills as instructed on the bottle and vowed to take two each day from now on. After cleaning the bathroom, he went back to his room and hid his worn panties. He put on another delicate panties, and tried on one of his pants. It still didn't feel right. He began to worry. He took the pants off and took a good look at his body again. It was completely devoid of hair. He could see his red panties. "What am I doing?" Jake questioned himself. "I am going crazy." Then memory struck him. The diploma that he dusted yesterday read "B.S. in Psychology." His roommate was a shrink. He needed his help. Jake knocked on his roommate's bedroom door and was relieved to find that he was home. It was extremely difficult to tell his roommate about what was bothering him. He just stood there having second thoughts about telling his roommate about anything. It was just too embarrassing. As it turned out, he didn't have to say anything initially. Cedric was shocked to hear a knock on his bedroom door. He was diligently working on the next set of images and didn't expect any visitors. Everyone knew not to bother him, when he asked to be left alone. Who could it be? After turning off his computer he opened his door to find Jake dressed only in red panties. Jake looked totally ridiculous with the panties and the completely de-haired body. Cedric had to fight very hard not to laugh. "Is that women's panties," Cedric asked, faking surprise. Jake looked down in horror and realized that in his panic and need to seek help, he neglected to put on something over his panties. "I?I?feel so ashamed. I saw that you majored in Psychology? I need your help." he said. Cedric was amused. The hated macho bully was actually seeking help. He was showing his vulnerable side. Cedric wanted to hear more. "There's nothing to be ashamed," Cedric said, "I have studied about Transvestites and learned that it's actually quite common." "I was just momentarily shocked by it." "I am not a transvestite," answered Jake, "at least I don't think I am. Or I wasn't until recently. I really need your help." Seeing an opportunity to move along the feminization, Cedric smiled and said "Let's go sit on the sofa, and you can tell me everything," stated Cedric, "and then perhaps I can help." Jake started by repeating that until very recently he never had any desire to wear panties. He told him that once inside his girlfriend's apartment, he really had a desire to wear her panties. He confessed how he couldn't resist wearing them. Cedric slowed Jake down with questions and in response, Jake explained that he broke up with his girlfriend prior to moving in to the apartment, and that he found male underwear to be uncomfortable and was just finding his pants to be equally uncomfortable. He further explained how he felt about his body hair and his weight. Cedric calmly listened to Jake's tale and stated that the breakup with his girlfriend was the cause for his recent transvestite desires. "Deep inside you are insecure about your masculinity and the breakup just brought your insecurities into the surface and has manifested itself as transvestism," Cedric lied. "You will probably want to wear more and more feminine clothing and may even want to act feminine." Jake found his roommate's words disturbing. "What's the solution?" he asked. "You have to give into these desires completely," answered Cedric, "only then will you be able to get it out of your system. This means that you have to wear women's clothing as much as possible and act feminine." "But other than panties, I don't have any female clothing," stated Jake. "Then you will have to buy them," Cedric stated and continued noting the hairless body, "My old girlfriend left some hair removal cream and diet pills that you are welcome to, but she didn't leave anything else." Cedric was happy that he no longer had to prepare special meals for Jake. His "diet pills" were actually female hormones and would do the trick. "Buy? But?" Jake began. "No buts," Cedric stated, "unless you want to be a transvestite for the rest of your life." That thought scared Jake but he still hoped for another solution. "Is there no other way?" "No," replied Cedric. Jake nodded signaling his understanding. "One more thing," Cedric stated, "we need to feminize your name? how's Jackie?" Per his roommate's advise, Jackie found himself at the local mall. He knew that he was there to buy women's jeans for himself but was not prepared to do so. Therefore he delayed it by going to the food court. But instead of the usual burger and fries, he got a small salad and bottled water. He felt heavy. After delaying more by pretending to do some window-shopping, Jackie was finally in a clothing store. Still afraid, Jackie hung out in the men's section but could not help but stare at the "miss" section. It disgusted him that part of him actually wanted to try on some of the jeans displayed in the "miss" section. His plan was to buy one feminine jeans and only wear it in his apartment. Discomfort or not, he could not risk anyone seeing him wearing girl's jeans. He slowly made his way into the "miss" section almost as if he was lost. He began looking at the selection of jeans and was humiliated to note that he wanted to wear the most feminine jeans. Jackie pictured himself wearing the various jeans, in an almost daydreaming fashion. "Can I help you?" asked a saleslady. "Ah? " Jackie's face became red and he didn't know what to day, "Ah?" Instantly the saleslady knew what was going on. This guy was a transvestite and wanted to buy feminine clothing but was too embarrassed to say it. She heard stories from other sales staff but never encountered a transvestite before. She was told not to laugh, that transvestites made allot of purchases if they feel comfortable. She smiled and hid her desire to laugh at Jackie. "Are you looking for some clothing for your girlfriend?" she asked. "Yes," Jackie said. "I mean I want to purchase a pair of jeans for my girlfriend." "What's her size?" the saleswoman asked. "I am not sure," Jackie responded. "Is she about your size?" asked the saleslady quickly losing her patience with the pervert. "Yes," Jackie answered, "she's about my size." "These will probably fit her," she said pointing to a specific section, "but you can't be too sure unless SHE tries them on." Despite herself, the saleswoman could not help but emphasize the word "she" almost sarcastically. Jackie hesitated and the saleslady became even more impatient. The saleslady then lowered her voice and winked, "do you want to try them on or not?" She knew. Jackie was truly mortified. But at the same time he couldn't deny it. He had little cash and he was almost at the limit on his credit card. He couldn't buy more than one pair. And the last thing he wanted was to come back because the jeans didn't fit him properly. So he meekly said, "yes, I want to try them on." Jackie picked out several styles of jeans and went into the changing room. He knew which jeans he wanted. He wanted the most feminine pair. But he was still afraid to give into his desire so completely. So in the end, he chose jeans that he thought were marginally feminine. The jeans were tight everywhere but his behind, where it was purposely faded to attract attention. But in his mind, he actually looked good in them. As he left the store with his purchase, he thought he heard the saleswoman laugh at him with a coworker. He quickened his steps to get away from her. As soon as he arrived in his apartment, he headed to his room and changed into his newly acquired purchase. It felt great. Finally relaxed for the first time in his life, he began to watch television. Unbeknownst to Jackie more hidden messages, images and backgrounds were loaded into his television. The messages, images, and backgrounds were similar as before except that they covered his facial hair instead of his body hair and the jeans were no longer jeans but changed to other types of pants: dress pants, stretch pants, and even shorts. By the end of the night, images of tights and leotards replaced the pants. The need for "diet pills" was also heavily reinforced. Jackie fell asleep still wearing his panties and jeans. Jackie couldn't go to work dressed like this. Could he? "No one will know," he told himself. "But what if someone notices," he asked himself. Jackie couldn't decide. Delaying his decision, he went into the bathroom and removed his clothing. After reapplying the hair removal cream and taking two more diet pills, Jackie took a bath. After taking the bath and cleaning the bathroom, Jackie had a good look in the mirror. To Jackie, his face was just too hairy. Jackie applied the hair removal cream to all areas of his face and neck that showed signs of a beard and then proceeded to pluck his eyebrows. His original intent was to take it easy on the eyebrows. But before he was done with them, his eyebrows were thin high arches. Finished with his toiletries, Jackie walked back to his room wearing a towel. He quickly and expertly made his bed and then chose to wear a nice pair of panties. He then wore a large t-shirt and again was having an internal debate whether to wear his feminine jeans. Cedric again heard a knock on his bedroom door and opened it to find Jackie. To Cedric's amazement, Jackie actually looked like a girl, a tomboy with flat chest in an oversized t-shirt and panties to be precise, but a girl nonetheless. The plucked eyebrows were the real difference maker. Cedric didn't realize how girlish Jake looked before due to the thick eyebrows. Perhaps, Jake was truly insecure about his masculinity due to his pretty boy face and small stature. Perhaps Jake teased Cedric so much during high school, in order to defray any notice about his girlish looks. Jackie really did make an attractive girl. The illusion was only broken when Jackie spoke in his normal masculine voice. "Can I ask your opinion about something? Do you think it's obvious that these are girls' pants," Jackie asked holding up the faded pants. "No," Cedric lied, "I think they look like regular jeans. I can't tell whether it's a boy's or girl's pants" "Thank you," Jackie said relieved with the answer. After putting on his special pants, he noted how late he was for work and ran out of the apartment to get to work. Jackie could tell that all of his coworkers noticed. No one said anything. But they gave him funny looks and stayed away from him. Jackie was mortified. He could feel their eyes on his face and body. He wanted to go hide. During lunchtime, Jackie ate all by himself, if you could call the few bites he took out of his hamburger eating. He was really worried about what his coworkers were thinking about him. Did they think that he was a wimp? He certainly did not want to be the target of jokes. After lunch, things didn't get any better. Other than stares, the guys still refused to acknowledge Jackie. The workday seemed to last forever until it mercifully ended. On the way home, Jackie promised himself that he would never wear the female jeans again. But at the house, he couldn't throw it away. He took it off and tried several of his other pants but all of them felt uncomfortable. Jackie was getting extremely frustrated. In anger, Jackie gathered all his pants except the feminine jeans he was wearing again and put them in to the dumpster. He then locked himself into his bedroom and for the first time since he was a baby, he cried. But despite the depression, Jackie turned on the television. When Cedric saw Jackie crying through the hidden video camera, he actually felt sorry for him. But that thought vanished quickly, when he began to remember the torment that Jake caused him. "He deserves this," Cedric told himself. Cedric knocked on Jackie's bedroom door. "I can hear you crying. Perhaps, you will feel better if you talk about it." Jackie turned down his television and let Cedric in. He told Cedric what happened at work and how he ended up throwing away all his pants. "It's for the best," Cedric said, "as I told you, you need to get it out of your system. Don't fight it. The quicker you indulge yourself in transvestite desires the quicker you will be cured of it." Jackie finally stopped crying and nodded to indicate understanding. Then to both individuals' surprise, he hugged his roommate. "Thank you," he said, "for all your help." "You are welcome," Cedric said and hugged back. He didn't know why but he actually felt good hugging Jackie. After breaking the hug, however, he felt very awkward in the room. He quickly excused himself and left the room. Once back in his own room, Cedric was very happy with phase two. Jackie was even acting feminine without any subliminal commands to do so. His program worked better than he anticipated. Proud with success, Cedric loaded another set of commands. "I need to exercise." "I need a flat stomach." "I need shapely legs." "Lifting weights is too hard." "I don't want to gain muscle." "I like aerobic exercise." "I want to be toned not big." These and similar messages were coupled with the manufactured pictures of the merged character. The merged pictures had equal part male and female features. A barely visible background with pleasant images surrounded the messages and the pictures of the merged character doing aerobic exercises and the body image that this type of exercise would bring, while an unpleasant background surrounded the pictures of the merged character lifting weights or having muscle. As before, additional messages, pictures and backgrounds were added to the loop. "I like my hair long." "I like my hair to be styled." "I hate it when my hair isn't properly styled." "My hair should have some curls. "It bothers me when my hair is a mess." "I need to style my hair. " "It makes me feel sexy to have nice hair." Again these messages were coupled with appropriate images and backgrounds. Several pictures of the merged character with long flowing hair were shown with barely visible backgrounds that were pleasing while pictures of the merged character with male styled hair were shown with disturbing backgrounds. The merged character exhibited as much female features as male features. Within a few minutes, additional messages, pictures and background were added to the loop. "I feel comfortable sitting with my legs crossed." "I feel obscenely exposed sitting with my legs uncrossed." "My wrists feel comfortable when they are limp" "It pains me to have my wrists firm." "I feel sexy when I sway my hips from side to side when walking." "It feels weird to walk straight. " "When I feel sexy, I like batting my eyes quickly." "I like touching my hair and swinging my hair," and other similar messages flashed. Several pictures of the merged character gesturing and posing in feminine fashion were shown with pleasing backgrounds while several pictures of the merged character behaving in a masculine fashion were shown with negative backgrounds. After watching television for a few hours, Jackie took a break to eat dinner. He went into the kitchen and ignored the sandwich that had the sticker labeled "Carl's." After all, his roommate was being kind and eating his sandwich would be wrong. Jackie prepared and ate a salad and washed the dishes. He then decided to do the laundry. Jackie changed panties and shirt, but noted with concern that he had no other pants to wear while his girlish pants was being washed. He decided that he would need another pair. Finally finished with his laundry, Jackie carefully folded his clothing and watched more television before falling asleep late into the night watching several programs on aerobic exercise and hair management. For some reason he had a new found interest in these programs and lucky for him tivo recorded several of them. Jackie woke up late and was already late for work. But despite this fact, he couldn't just leave for work. He had to make his bed and had to use the cream to remove any remaining body hair and he had to take a bath and had to take his pills. He even had to style his short hair. He spent an hour on his hair but it was just too short to do anything fancy. That's when he decided to grow it out. He knew he would look sexier with long hair. "The girls will love it." He thought. Looking at the clock and realizing that he was really late, he began to dress. He wore another t-shirt and panties but hesitated wearing the feminine jeans. But there was nothing else to wear, so he wore it and ran to work. As Jackie approached the work sight, he heard a guy say to others, "here comes Jane. She even runs like a girl." The others started to laugh. "and look at her hair." Jackie looked around to see who this Jane was and then realized that the guys were talking about him. "Hey, my name is Jackie, not Jane." "You could have fooled me, Miss." Said one of his coworkers. All the others laughed. Jackie was so humiliated that he began to cry. He ran to his boss' office intending to report the mistreatment from his coworkers. But instead of support his boss lectured him about tardiness. "You are fired," said his boss. "This is the second time you've been late and you are too much of a distraction for everyone else." He handed Jackie an envelope and said, "This is your one and only paycheck. Leave right now and don't ever come back." The old Jake would have torn the check, spit on his bosses' face and would have walked out in triumph. But Jackie needed the money to buy more pants. So he meekly accepted the envelope and thanked his boss and left. It wasn't much. After all, he only worked a few days. But it was at least something. He took the check to a near by check cashing place. "Can I help you miss," asked the clerk at the check-cashing place. Jackie handed the check and his driver license. The Clerk looked at the check and i.d. and said, "You can't cash a check made out to some else. Jake Kardon needs to come here himself." He was about to return the check and i.d. back to Jackie. "I am Jackie? I mean, Jake Kardon," answered Jackie. The masculine voice startled the clerk. He took a close look at the i.d. and then the person standing in front of him. "You look so different from the i.d.," he said, "you even move like a girl. But I can see now that you are the person on the i.d." He exchanged the check with cash and returned the i.d. "If I were you, next time you come cash your check I would be less femme to avoid any confusion." Jackie ignored the clerk's advice and walked out with his cash and i.d. and headed for the mall. This time he didn't hesitate. He walked straight to the miss section of the department store and looked for things to purchase. "Can I help miss." Asked the same saleswoman as the last time Jackie was there to shop. "I am looking for a pair of jeans, tights, shorts, and leotard," Jackie responded. The saleswoman did a double take. "Oh my God, you are looking good, girl," she said smiling. She had heard that transvestites liked to be referred as girls. "I didn't even recognize you." She said. She helped Jackie pick out several outfits. But in the end, do to short funds, Jackie could only purchase a leotard for exercise and a red shorts for relaxing at home. He thanked the saleslady and left the department store. But before he could leave the mall, his eyes caught a wig store. Almost mesmerized by the store, Jackie walked into it. He saw several wigs that he wanted but knew that he didn't have the funds to buy. Jackie really needed a wig. His hair was just too short. He hoped that his credit card could take one last purchase. After trying out several wigs, he brought one that he especially liked to the counter and nervously presented his credit card. Jackie thanked his lucky stars that the transaction was approved. The first thing Jackie did when he got home was to put on the wig. It looked great. It was long red head wig that had just enough curls to give it that extra feminine look. He posed this and that way. At first his appearance made him happy but then he soon realized what he had done. He spent all his money on these items and was acting queerer than ever before. He almost took off the wig intending to return it to the store but something in him stopped him. Jackie realized that he was indeed a sissy. With tears in his eyes, he went back to his room. In order to distract himself from the self-pity he turned on the television. Tivo recorded several aerobic exercise programs. Feeling a little heavy, he decided to work out. He changed into his leotards and followed the work out program. Jackie had to use his full attention to keep up. It was more difficult than it appeared. Cedric was surprised to see Jackie home so early. "Something must have happened at work," he thought. He watched Jackie work out through the hidden camera and he liked what he saw. The wig made Jackie pretty. Jackie's body needed to develop but his face was definitely pretty. Cedric was shocked by his thoughts. Did he really find Jackie attractive? Cedric feared the answer to that question. So instead of dwelling on it, he decided to start the next phase in the program. "I enjoy cooking." "I like to bake." "I love to spend all my time in the kitchen preparing a delicious meal." "I need to learn how to cook." "I am a failure unless I know how to cook." "I self actualize when I cook." These and similar messages were coupled with the manufactured pictures of the merged character. The merged character had more feminine features than male features. A barely visible background with pleasant images surrounded the messages and the pictures of the merged character cooking. As before, additional messages, backgrounds were added to the loop. "I want my voice to be higher." "I like my voice to be a soprano." "I hate it when my voice sounds masculine." "I will use softer tones. "It bothers me when people think I have a deep voice." "I need to speak in a feminine manner." "I love to giggle." But unlike before there were no pictures. These messages were instead coupled with appropriate voices. Jake's original voice obtained from recordings from the hidden camera was manipulated to give it a higher pitch. The higher pitches were coupled with pleasant backgrounds while the lower pitches were coupled with unpleasant backgrounds. Within a few minutes, additional messages, pictures and background were added to the loop. "I like wearing jewelry." "I need to pierce my ears." "I like wearing these type of shoes." "I need my purse to match my clothing." "I feel naked without at least a necklace, a ring and a bracelet." "I feel sexy in heels." "It feels weird to walk without any heels," and other similar messages flashed. Several pictures of the merged character wearing feminine accessories were shown with pleasing backgrounds while several pictures of the merged character not wearing any accessories were shown with negative backgrounds. After exercising, Jackie carefully took a bath, doing all he could to prevent his wig from getting wet. And then he changed into his shorts for the night. But instead of going straight to bed, he decided to eat dinner. In the kitchen, he saw his roommate looking in the refrigerator for something to eat. That's when Jackie felt a little guilty for stealing all of his roommate's food. He felt grateful that his roommate thus far didn't make a big deal about the food. Since he couldn't afford to buy grocery, he decided to show his appreciation by cooking dinner. Jackie cleared his throat to get his roommates' attention, using a higher pitch then normal. He braced himself for the reaction from his roommate for the wig and the shorts. But his roommate didn't seem all that surprised and better yet did not show disdain. Cedric was pleased when Jackie offered to cook dinner and readily accepted. As Cedric observed, Jackie tried to go to work. But as he prepared to cook, Jackie realized that he didn't know how to make anything. Jackie felt embarrassed that he was a terrible cook. After stalling a bit, Jackie finally boiled spaghetti noodles and warmed up the bottled spaghetti sauce. Not happy with his inabilities to cook spaghetti from scratch, Jackie vowed to at least do the best he could do. He cooked and cut up a sausage and washed and chopped several vegetables and added them to the sauce. In addition, he made a garden salad to go with the main course. As they ate dinner, Jackie explained what happened that day. He told Cedric all about the workers making fun of him, pointing out that they even nicknamed him Jane. "Why, I think that's a lovely name," responded Cedric. "Until you are cured from your transvestite tendencies, you should adopt it as your name." "But," Jane protested. "Don't fight it," said Cedric, "you must let it get out of your system." Jane nodded her understanding and continued with her story. She told Cedric about getting fired and how she couldn't control herself from spending all her money. The thought occurred to Jane that revealing her financial fortunes to her roommate could be dangerous. He could decide to kick her out of the house. But she couldn't bear to hide it from someone who was so nice to her. "This probably means that I can't pay my share of the rent this month. I understand if you want me to move out immediately." She said. Cedric actually felt sorry for Jane. "Don't worry about this month's rent. I know you are going through a hard time. I will cover for you." "Thank you," said Jane in a voice that was higher than ever before, "thank you so much," and she hugged Cedric again. She began to cry. "You've been the only nice person since my nightmare started." At that moment, Cedric had doubts about what he was doing. He really felt for the person hugging him and the thought that he was causing her torment caused him pain. He hugged her tight. "I will make it up to you by cooking and cleaning the house and I promise to find a job as soon as possible," Jane stated and kept her first part of the promise that night by washing all the dishes and cleaning the house once more. Cedric thought about what he was doing to Jane, long and hard. But in the end decided that there was no turning back. So that night, as Jane watched several cooking shows so that she could become a better cook, more messages about cooking, accessories and exercise filled her head. The next day, Cedric watched Jane as she got up from bed and started her day by making her bed and exercising. The effects of the hormone pills were beginning to show. Cedric saw that Jane's behind was slightly larger and there were the beginnings of puffiness on her chest. Cedric found the vision in his computer monitor captivating. He couldn't take his eyes off of the loveliness. After finishing her exercises, Jane invited Cedric to join her for breakfast. To Cedric's surprise, she expertly made omelets. After cleaning up, she went into the bathroom and an hour later appeared prettier than before. She changed into her jeans and nice looking shirt and stepped out to look for a job. Unfortunately for Jane, she was having a hard time getting a job. All the usual places that Jake had gone to find a job was not working for her. Construction sites, warehouses, and car repair shops were not interested in hiring someone that looked like Jane. She went home tired and dejected to prepare dinner for her roommate. She took solace in the fact that she was now a decent cook and was pleased to see that Cedric enjoyed his meal. During dinner, she talked about her day and shared that she was having difficulties finding a job. Cedric advised that she should probably look for a more feminine job. "You can apply for a secretary or a receptionist position." Jane listened to the advice intently and had to agree that it made sense. After cleaning up, Jane excused herself to her room and watched more cooking shows. She was really thankful to tivo for recording shows she wanted to watch. That night more messages were loaded into the tivo system. "I like wearing skirts and dresses." "That dress makes me look lovely." "This skirt makes me feel pretty." "I look sexy in this dress." "I love to show my legs by wearing short skirts." "I like it when men stare at my skirted bottom." These and similar messages were matched with the manufactured pictures of the merged character wearing various skirts and dresses and with a feminine voice repeating the messages out loud. The merged character looked like a female with some minor male features. A barely visible background with pleasant images surrounded the messages and the pictures of the merged character wearing the various skirts and dresses. As before, additional messages, pictures and backgrounds were added to the loop. "I like wearing lipstick." "I have to wear foundation." "Blush makes my face come alive." "Long eyelashes make me look sexy." "I feel naked without makeup." "Eyeliners make me feel adorable. " "I love it when men admire my perfectly made-up face." "My fingers need to be manicured and painted." These and similar messages were matched with pictures of the merged character wearing and putting on different makeup and a feminine voice that repeated the messages and pleasant backgrounds. Within a few minutes, additional messages, pictures, voice and background were added to the loop. "I want to have breasts." "I like to wear bras." "I think this bras is especially sexy." "I hate having a flat chest." "My dress would look so much sexier if I had breasts." "I like it when men admire my breasts," and other similar messages flashed. Several pictures of the merged character with breasts showed with pleasing backgrounds while several pictures of the merged character with flat chest were shown with negative backgrounds. A feminine voice was added that repeated the messages. Jane woke up having a need to shop. She really needed jewelry, shoes, purses, skirts, dresses, lipstick, fingernail polish, pantyhose, more panties, jeans? and on and on. Bras, she really needed bras. She felt so inadequate in her chest, a bra could conceal the fact that she was flat. She could kick herself for not picking up all those lovely bras when her girlfriend through them at her. But it was too late for that and she didn't have any money and her credit was probably maxed out. If only she had a job. She quickly made her bed, exercised, took care of any stray body hair, and took her pills, and took her bath. She cut one of her shirts so that the neckline was lowered so that the upper part of her chest was showing. She wore the altered shirt and her red shorts. As advised she tried to get a job get a job as a secretary. But as soon as the hiring person found out that she couldn't type and had no experience as a secretary, she was told that she was not qualified. After driving around town aimlessly looking for a job she saw help wanted sign at a truck stop restaurant and decided to give it a try. She was hired a waitress and was given a waitress dress to wear. It was hard work but she decided to tough it out. But as the day progressed into the evening she was having doubts as to whether she could handle her job duties. The waitress part of the job was hard enough, but the terrible part was that a few of the customers were not gentlemen. Some of them would drop their forks or napkin and stare as the waitresses bent down to fetch it for them. Jane had to admit that part of her actually enjoyed the attention. A few of them went further and pretended to accidentally rub their hands against the waitresses' behind as they walked by their table. This made her sick. One old guy nicknamed the spanker actually spanked the girls lightly when they bent down to pick up various items. She hated the old fart. All the patrons would laugh at the old man and tease him for being a pervert. To Jane's surprise all the waitresses took these incidents with a smile. When Jane asked another waitress about this situation, the waitress replied, "if you want to get tips then play along." So Jane played along and smiled to hide her humiliation. She even took the Spanker's special with a smile. But after her shift was over, Jane's emotion spilled to the surface. She just couldn't take it anymore and had to excuse herself to the ladies' room to hide her tears of shame. Luckily, Charlene, another waitress, came into the restroom and gave her comfort. When Jane admitted to Charlene about her financial condition and her inability to buy some of her necessities, Charlene offered to help her out. Charlene collected from other waitresses some makeup and other feminine items. "I know it's not much hone, but at least it will be a start," she said. As she left the restaurant for the night, Jane thanked all the girls. She came home still wearing her new waitress uniform. She carried her shorts and t-shirt and various makeup in a bag. It was late evening and she was tired, but she decided that she still needed to make her roommate his dinner. So diligently she cooked the best meal yet and offered it to her roommate. As Cedric ate, Jane told him about her day at work. It angered him when he heard how the customers treated Jane. She didn't deserve that type of treatment. He told her to quit her job immediately. But Jane refused, telling him that she needed the money. "Is it the money or are you enjoying being felt up by men?" Cedric said. Jane looked hurt by Cedric's question and began to cry. "I hate them. It disgusts me when they touch me that way but there's nothing I can do. I need a job and am not qualified for anything else." Cedric could kick himself for asking such a mean question. What prompted him to ask it? Was he actually jealous? He quickly apologized for his stupid question. Jane accepted the apology and stated, "It's not your fault. If you were dressing and acting like I am, I'd probably ask the same question." Cedric hugged Jane to give her comfort and she accepted the hug. That's when Cedric realized that he really did care for Jane. He liked Jane. He wanted her. The thought scared Cedric so much that he had to leave the kitchen. He lied about having to do some work and left quickly. Once inside his room he spent several minutes soul searching. In the end, he decided to change the program slightly. That night, Cedric loaded more messages and images to the tivo system. "I like playing tennis." "I enjoy dancing with a man." "I have fun being the life of a party." "It's fun to be a hostess of a party." "I enjoy girl-talk." "One of my hobby is decorating." These and similar messages were matched with the manufactured pictures of the female character doing the various activity wearing various skirts and dresses that matched the activity. A feminine voice also repeated the messages out loud. A barely visible background with pleasant images surrounded the messages and the pictures. As before, additional messages, pictures and backgrounds were added to the loop. "I admire powerful manly hands." "Strong hairy chests are attractive." "I like looking at firm masculine ass." "My heart pounds when a handsome man is near me." "Strong masculine arms and legs are beautiful." "A penis is sexy." These and similar messages were matched with pictures of Cedric's various body parts. A feminine voice that sounded exactly like Jane's voice repeated the messages. Within a few minutes, additional messages, pictures, voice and background were added to the loop. "It's fun holding hands with a man." "I feel secure when a man holds me tight." "I like having a man fondle my ass." "I like it when a man feels up breasts. " "It