The Girl in My Dreams
By Andy Hollis
I woke, sweating up a storm. The stench of smoke and flames
from my dream still lingered in my nose. With a groan, I rubbed
my mouth with the back of my hand and rolled out of bed to
hurry to the bathroom. The light turned on, and I squinted
throughsleep-encrusted eyes to see my mother standing in my
bedroom door.
?Are you okay, Will??
?Bad dream,? I mumbled and tried to get around her. ?I?ll be right
back.? I stumbled down the hall to the bathroom in time with my
Dad?s snores. Once there, I bent over the sink, resting my arms on
the countertop and spat a few times in the bathroom sink. Then, I
washed my mouth out and dried off my face and hair before
walking back down the hall toward the light in my room.
Mom was still there. ?You want to talk about it??
?No,? I said with a shrug and sat down on my bed. ?Not really?.?
I saw the expression on her face and blushed. ?It was just weird,
Mom, really weird.?
?If you talk about it now, you might work it out enough so that it
doesn?t trouble your sleep again.?
?Mom, I?m almost fourteen. I haven?t had a real nightmare in?.
Okay, maybe I?d better tell you. It wasn?t bad so much as gross.
Real gross.?
?How gross? Slime drooling aliens about to bite your head off??
?No, nothing like that.?
She sat down on the bed and ruffled my hair as she got
comfortable. ?Go ahead.?
?It was like really weird, Mom. I was at a dance,-like that would
ever happen to me in real life-but there I was and I had the most
gorgeous girl with me. I knew her, in my dream, and we danced,
Mom. I remember our clothes looked really old-fashioned and so
was the music, but we had a great time, and at the end of the dance
I kissed her.
She smiled knowingly. ?That must have been really horrible.
Kissing a girl.?
I blushed again until my cheeks burned. ?No. It wasn?t that. I
mean, in the dream, as soon as I stopped and backed away a little,
she turned into Bobby Richards-and I kissed him again. Then I
smelled a fire, a real bad one, and that woke me up. Mom, really,
I?ve never wanted to kiss a guy, I swear it, and I like Bobby, but?I
\mean I like girls. I?m not gay or anything, but?.?
She sighed, and she gave me a warm smile. I hugged her for a
second. ?Will, sweetie, it?s okay. You?re normal,? she replied as
she tenderly brushed my hair, until I stopped her-I mean, she?s my
Mom and all, but I still wasn?t that comfortable with the touchie-feelie stuff. ?It?s perfectly normal for a guy your age to be
confused about the whole boy-girl thing, and even to be confused
about your own feelings. I don?t think you?re gay, either, but
Bobby?s been your friend forever, and now you are starting to like
girls. You?re growing up a bit, but your dreams are telling you that
you aren?t ready to give up your old friends.
?Think of it like this.? Mom had moved into lecture mode. ?I
know Bobby was never your best friend, but in your dreams he
represents your childhood. The girl represents your future and you
are torn between the two.?
?Okay,? I said. After all, it made a lot more sense than my dream.
?I guess you?re right.? I settled back in bed, then sat up enough to
turn the pillow over to avoid the sweaty pillow case.
?Do you want fresh sheets or can that wait until tomorrow??
?No, I?m okay, thanks.?
After patting down my covers, Mom kissed me on my forehead and
turned off the light on her way out. I sighed. How she could
always hear me when I had a nightmare, especially over dad?s
snores. would be an all time mystery.
The next morning I tumbled downstairs early-earlier than usual
during summer vacation-but after Dad had gone to work. I helped
myself to the eggs and bacon, gulped down an orange juice and
waited until Mom came in to join me. She poured herself a cup of
coffee and sat down next to me.
?Thanks for everything last night,? I said. ?I really felt a lot better
after we talked. I?m gonna meet the guys and go swimming,
okay??
?Okay, but call if you need a ride home.?
?I will,? I said and grabbed a towel from the laundry basket on the
way out. Dressed in a t-shirt, swim trunks and flip-flops, I hurried
down the street to find Bobby Richards waiting for me, alone.
?Will,? he said, happy to see me as we bumped fists. ?Travis
couldn?t make it, and Charlie will meet us at the pool. Are you
okay??
?Yeah,? I said and started walking.
?So why are you looking at me like that??
?Like what?? I asked and tried to shrug off his questions.
Bobby and I had been friends forever. He was slightly shorter and
skinnier than me, had bright red hair, three million freckles, and a
grin that could make anyone laugh. I tried not to stare at him, but
when I saw him just then I thought he looked cute. I felt him put
his arm around my shoulders, like he always did as we walked, and
I had to fight the urge to take his hand.
?Will? Will? Yo, Connolly, I asked you a question.?
?Huh? Sorry, Robert, my man, I was busy saving the Universe
from slime drooling aliens. What??
?Is your Mom picking us up, or do you want me to call mine??
?Mine will,? I said. ?I had a dream about you last night.?
?Oh, yeah?? he said, and held out his arms. ?Was I flying? I love
those dreams.? He ran around for a while, buzzing me before he
started a strafing run.
?No, you were dancing?
?Me?? Bobby held his hands to his throat, and gagged. ?Dancing?
With a girl? That must have been a nightmare - for her. I can?t
dance. Or maybe I could, with you,? he added, and held out his
hands. He grabbed me, spun around and managed to not only step
on my toes, but trip over his own feet-twice.
I sighed as I picked him up. ?Nice try, dufus, next time watch
whose toes your stepping on.?
?But you dance so divinely,? he cooed before bursting into
laughter.
I had to laugh too as we headed for the pool. Stupid dream, I could
never dance with this big a goofball.
But all day long I found myself staring at his legs, then trying to
picture him in a one-piece suit.
****
That night, the dream turned mushy. I woke, groaning from the
dream, and just as sweaty as I had been the night before. Mom
didn?t come into my room, at least, but I wondered if I should call
her. The smell of smoke was a lot worse.
I could remember the dream, vividly. Bobby and I were at the
dance, but after kissing him-and it was Bobby?s face on the girl-I
lead him to my car. I opened the door for him, and drove him to a
parking spot. It made sense that I was driving since I looked about
18 or 19 in the rear view mirror.
It was no fair, I thought. In the dream, I had everything-good
looks, a great build, a car and a gorgeous girl; even if she did look
like Bobby sometimes. In real life, I was short and way too skinny,
with no build at all.
In the dream, we parked, made out and swore eternal love and
devotion to each other. We didn?t get beyond kissing. Even
though the girl had Bobby?s face, I called her Shannon, and she
called me Mark. She also had a girl?s chest measurements and I
loved the feel of her breasts in my hand. Or I did, until Bobby and
I both turned into ourselves, and the dream ended as I found myself
wondering why her chest was so flat, and what was burning.
I got up, washed my mouth out with water and almost walked right
into my mother as I left the bathroom. She held onto me for a
moment.
?Another dream??
I nodded. ?Same one, too.? I told her about it, which only made
her frown.
?You were driving? Do you remember how you did it??
I shook my head. ?I want to drive, man, that would be so cool, but
I thought I had to be seventeen to get my Learner?s Permit.?
?Yes, but?. I?ll check my books again. Something isn?t right
about this. Night sweetheart, and you haven?t told Bobby anything
about this, have you??
?No. Mom, he?s a goofball, you know, a real cut up. He?d never
listen, everything is joke to him.? I don?t know why I lied, but for
some reason, I really didn?t want to tell her I had told Bobby my
dream, especially because he had taken it as a joke.
She nodded, and gave me a peck on the top of my head before
gently pushing me back toward my bedroom. ?Get to bed.?
I walked back to my bedroom, feeling the plush carpet under my
toes. The whole upstairs was done in the same forest green, and I
remembered a few years ago Bobby and I spent a lot of time
scuffing our feet to build up static electric charges and then
zapping each other as we saved the Universe together. I?d hate to
ruin our friendship over a couple of weird dreams.
Two
The next night, the dream took a new turn. This time we were both
older, and in the dream we checked into a motel. I knew that
Bobby and I were married, now and it was legal, but I felt a kind of
guilty twinge as we made love. Whoa, she was a gorgeous woman.
Her hair was just as red as Bobby?s but this time her face stayed as
Shannon, until I woke up after a wet dream.
I was old enough that this wasn?t my first wet dream, but this time
the feeling was more intense than ever before. I changed my
underwear, walked down to the bathroom and cleaned up. This
time, Mom didn?t wake up, or more likely, she did, but decided I
was okay and left me to deal with things myself. I let myself go
back to sleep, but I felt I had to talk to her, or someone before all of
this drove me crazy. I had two months before starting the ninth
grade, and I wasn?t going to do it while I dreamed I was in love
with Bobby Richards.
That morning, I watched Mom drink her coffee, and I almost said
something when the phone rang. She picked it up, listened a
moment and then handed it to me. ?It?s Bobby.?
?Hey, what?s up?? I said into the phone.
?Try the sky. There?s a new game at the mall, want to try it out
this morning??
?Sure,? I said without a second thought.
?Great. Mom and me will be over in a few to get you.?
I hung up the phone and shook my head. ?I?m going to the mall
with Bobby and his mother. There?s a new game?.?
?Are you okay with this?? she asked.
?I think so. I mean I see Bobby every day and I?m not about to
spoil the summer with this, or tell everyone in town that I?m some
sort of?. That I?m gay.?
?Are you gay?? she asked, in a quiet tone. I saw ?the look? on her
face, that intense, slightly worried look she uses when she asks a
simple question, but knows the answer is real important.
I took in a deep breath and answered honestly. ?I don?t know. I
don?t think so.? I told her about the last dream. ?I?m making love
to a girl, not Bobby, but it?s Bobby as if he was a girl. I don?t
know. I mean at the pool, and sometimes?I look at him and see
him as a girl, too. I know he?s not and he?d kill me-or try to kill
me-if I said that, but in the dreams I love them both, I mean-I
mean, sometimes I see him as Shannon and sometimes I see him as
Bobby and I love both of him?her, whatever. Sorry, this is so
hard to explain.?
She looked at me for a moment. ?Don?t be afraid to tell me, if you
do decide you?re gay, okay? It?s nothing to be ashamed of, but I
still feel that something is wrong here. If you keep having these
dreams, I?d like to make an appointment for you with a dream
specialist.?
?That sounds expensive. I don?t want you and Dad fighting over
me.?
?We won?t. I don?t think your father would be quite so
understanding about all of this. He would go to any route if he
thought it would cure you of being gay. I know that can?t happen,
but you are still too young to worry about if this is going to be
permanent, or whether it?s just a phase.?
I nodded, and waited for the Richards to get there.
Three
The last thing I wanted to do was to give Bobby the wrong ideas,
but as we sat drinking shakes in the food court, waiting for his
Mom, I couldn?t help notice how cute he looked, the way he
grinned, and even the way he sucked down the chocolate. A
couple of times he looked up at me, then blushed and looked back
down.
After a while, he gave me a long look. ?Well? Are you gonna kiss
me or what??
?Huh?? I said.
His grin turned crooked. ?I swear ever since we got here you?ve
been looking at me like you want to kiss me or something.?
?Come on, Bobby, don?t be gross. I was thinking about stuff.?
?Said the fox to the rabbit,? he said quickly. The way he looked at
me, though, made him look anxious. ?Do you want to kiss me??
he whispered.
?Not here,? I blurted out. That wasn?t what I wanted to say. His
smile grew almost too large for his face.
?Oh, yeah? Where? Some place romantic??
I slugged him, but not hard. ?Come on, I mean?. Look, I?ve been
having this dream about you-well, us. And?.?
?This I?ve gotta hear,? he said, putting his elbows on the table and
resting his chin on the table while he stared at me like I was the
only other person in the world. I almost broke up over his
expression.
?Okay, see, in this dream, you?re a girl and we?re going out.
There, I said it.?
?Yeah?? he asked with a frown on his face. ?Am I pretty??
?A major babe, I mean, you are hot.?
?Then how do you know it?s me?? he asked again.
?Because every time I try to kiss you or do anything the girl turns
into you.?
Bobby?s face went from puzzled to shocked in a matter of seconds.
He started laughing his guts out. I thought he?d never stop.
?Sorry,? he managed to say. He grabbed my hand and held on. It
felt so natural that I didn?t protest. ?Man, that has to be the most
frustrating thing I?ve ever heard. You?ve got this gorgeous babe
and she turns into me. What happens then??
?I wake up, or I don?t care and kiss her anyway,? I said. ?But it?s
not you I?m kissing, just this girl with your face.?
His eyes sparkled. ?You know I?m here for you, don?t you, if you
want to see what it?s like in real life? I mean you are really cute, in
a little kid sort of way, and until you have a major growth spurt you
are not gonna be a babe magnet, but I can help?.?
I stared at him for a moment. ?Look, I?m not into guys, Bobby, no
matter what the
dream says. I mean in the dream this girl has your face but she
feels like a girl in my dreams, and her name is Shannon.?
The blood drained from Bobby?s face. His hand slid away from
mine and he suddenly looked nervous. ?Huh? Will, does this girl
call you anything but ?Will?? I mean by another name? Like
Mark??
?Yeah, but how did you know that?? I said, shocked.
He glanced up, and held his fingers to his lips. ?We need to talk
about this. Please. Hi, Mom? Ready to go?? he asked her.
?Yes, I?ll take you both home, but after that I have to go out,
without you.?
?Fine,? Bobby said. ?Can Will stay over with me??
She glanced at me, and shrugged. ?Sure, just as long as you call
Will?s Mom when we get home so she knows where you are.?
Mrs. Richards loaded both of us down with bags, and took off on
her errands without coming inside with us. Bobby opened the
door.
?Just put the stuff over there,? he said. ?You want anything? We
got diet everything.?
?No, thanks,? I said. I picked up the phone, called home and left a
message on the machine. Bobby came up behind me, put his arms
around my waist, and hugged. ?Okay,? I said when I hung up.
?We need to talk, but Robert, my man, I?m not asking you for a
date.?
I saw a hint of disappointment in his eyes, but he let go. ?I had
dreams like that before. I was this girl named Shannon and I was
in love with a guy named Mark. I didn?t know it was you, but it
makes sense. You are my best friend in the world?.?
?I thought that was Jason,? I said, and beeped him on the nose.
?Only when I?m mad at you. Which is all the time, and if you
don?t stop doing that it will be Jason again right now. I told Mom
about the dreams, and she didn?t think it was anything. But now
I?m not so sure.? He walked to his room, and I followed. While
Bobby rummaged in his closet, I stretched out on the bed, and
tossed a nerf ball at the ceiling. He brought over a green box,
dusted it off, and stretched out next to me. Inside was a pile of
loose papers with pictures sketched on them. Bobby dug through
them and grabbed on from near the bottom.
?I started doing this when I was having those dreams all the time. I
still have them, but not that often. Here,? he said and handed over
a picture. ?It?s Mark. What do you think??
I stared. ?This is great. I mean, that?s him-me. I see myself in
mirrors from time to time. Did you do Shannon??
He nodded and handed over the next picture. ?Here, in a lot of my
dreams we went to this place, the Piney Branch Motel. I know we
were married, but I think we found it-you know, exciting. I mean,?
his face flushed. ?I never thought I would ever talk about this with
anyone, let alone you, Mark-Will,? he corrected himself quickly.
?What?s this?? I said and picked up an old newspaper clipping.
?The motel burned down about twenty-five years ago. A lot of
people died, but I actually checked and there wasn?t anyone there
named Mark or Shannon. It must have been awful. I remember
that in my dreams, we didn?t live anywhere near here, but I guess
we thought it was a nice spot for vacations or something.?
?It?s a dream, Bobby, that?s all. There isn?t any use worrying about
the details of a dream. I didn?t even see the name of the motel, but
I only had the dream once. I?.?
He wrapped his arms around my neck, then looked down. ?It
doesn?t all have to be a dream.? He licked his lips, looked up at
me, and half of me wanted to run for all I was worth, but the rest of
me wrapped my arms around his waist, and pulled him closer.
I closed my eyes before moving down to kiss him, and I held the
kiss forever. I held him tightly, as if I would never let go. Bobby
opened his mouth, and licked my lips. I got the message, and
found his tongue with my own. Bubblegum, he tastes like
bubblegum, I thought, and slowly pulled away. He grinned, and
pulled me back down on top of him.
Besides my Mom and sometimes my Dad when I was small, I had
never kissed anyone. But I knew what to do. I found myself
pulling Bobby?s t-shirt off him so I could feel his skin. He was
soft, smooth and as silky as a girl. I didn?t want to let go but, if I
didn?t, I think I would have gone a lot further than either one of us
wanted, just then. Or so I thought.
Bobby kissed me again, without holding on, then rubbed the back
of my neck. ?I love you, Will. I really do.? He looked away. ?I
mean??
?It?s okay. Look, we had to get that out of our systems, right?
Bobby, I love you, too, and I mean that with all my heart, but it?s
Shannon I want.?
He rubbed his hand against my crotch. So I had a hard-on straining
against my jeans. He didn?t say a word as he pulled down the
zipper and started beating me off. He looked up, and kissed me as
I finished all over his sheets.
?Not even a little bit for me?? he asked.
?Okay, so, you turn me on, but it?s her I?m thinking about. It?s
her?I don?t care. It?s you I want,? I whispered in his ear. He
helped me out of my clothes.
?I know what to do,? he said as I pulled off the rest of his clothes.
He did, and in a matter of minutes, we became lovers, almost as
much as Mark and Shannon.
Bobby drifted off to sleep, with a warm smile on his lips. Man, he
looked beautiful, sleeping like that. I got out of bed, dressed, and
headed for the bathroom. I didn?t have to go, I just wanted to
think, but my thoughts seemed way too disjointed to make any
sense. What had I done? God, I had made love to a boy, I mean, I
had sex with him. I was a pervert, a freak, a queer, I told myself,
but I knew that there was no way I would give this up. I loved
Bobby and half of me wanted to tell the whole world. The rest of
me didn?t want to get beat up by the rest of the world, so I?d keep
quiet, but?he loved me too. Those dreams had to mean
something, but what?
I went back to the bedroom, and shook Bobby awake. ?Hey, dufus,
when is your Mom gonna get home and do you want to be naked
when she does??
He shook his head. Then, he sat up, smiled at me and stood up-and
melted into my arms. I couldn?t resist. I kissed him and kept
kissing him until I heard a car in the driveway. Finally tearing
himself away from me, he threw on some clothes, kissed me one
more time, and we walked out to the living room,. We had the TV
on and were slouched comfortably in front of it before Mrs.
Richards made her entrance.
I think Bobby and I must have been sitting a bit too close together,
because she raised an eyebrow as she looked at us, but then,
without comment, showed us her new hair style.
I left, as soon as I could, and ran home. ?Mom? Dad??
?I?m here,? Mom called out from the kitchen. ?Dad?s still at work.
What?s the matter??
I walked to the kitchen myself, stuck my nose in the fridge, and
settled on a soda. ?You know that dream guy you wanted me to
see? I want to seem him, or her, or you know.?
?Who are you and what have you done to our son?? she asked me
and tousled my hair.
?Bobby had the same dream, Mom. He knew all about it, more
than I did.?
?Okay, we make the appointment.?
That night, my dreams turned stupid. I didn?t dream about
Shannon, only Bobby, but I saw Bobby in girl?s clothes. He
swished around in skirts and dresses like some drag queen and I
woke up trying not to laugh. I could deal with the fact that Bobby
was a boy and that I was gay a lot easier than I could with the
picture of Bobby trying to be a girl.
Four
The ?Dream Guy? actually turned out to be a girl, a nice lady in her
early thirties, I guessed. She had a regular office, just like a doctor,
and a waiting room, but she didn?t have that many patients waiting.
I sat down, found a computer magazine, and tried to avoid my
Mom?s glances.
?You are okay with this??
?Yes, Mom, for the millionth time. I want to be here. Bobby
wants to know what she says, too.?
?You?re spending a lot of time with Bobby these days. What about
Frank and Paul??
?What about them?? I asked with a shrug. ?They?re out of town on
vacation, remember? Bobby is here.? I probably should have
stopped there, but I couldn?t resist teasing Mom a bit. ?Oh, and by
the way, as soon as we turn eighteen we?re moving to some place
that will let us get married. Think he would look good in a long,
white gown?? I nearly choked when I realized what I?d said, but
she made a face and then took it as a joke. She laughed.
?Okay, point taken. But first meet the girl of your dreams and then
we can talk about gowns.?
I gave her a grin. ?That?s why I?m here, Mom. I have met the girl
of my dreams, but she keeps turning into Bobby Richards. Do you
have any idea how frustrating that is??
She shook her head, and sighed. ?Funny, very funny.?
Not long after that, I was called into see Dr. Laura Meyers. She
had a very large office, complete with a couple of overstuffed
chairs, a sofa, and lots of file cabinets. There were lots of diplomas
hanging on the walls, but I couldn?t tell from what school, or what
they were for, or even what kind of doctor she was.
?Hello, William. Is it Bill, or maybe Billy?? she asked as we
shook hands.
?Will,? I said with a shrug and sat down. At least, Mom hadn?t
followed me inside.
?And you are thirteen??
?I?ll be fourteen next week,? I pointed out. She looked nice, I
mean from the way she smiled. She had light brown hair, gray
eyes, and a lot of laugh lines.
?So, have you ever been to a counselor before? A shrink??
I shook my head. ?No, but I am going nuts.?
?So I understand. Don?t worry. I think all kids are a bit crazy, but
most of them grow out of it. We?ve never met before, and if I ask
you something that you don?t want to answer, it?s okay, just let me
know-or, if anything makes you feel uncomfortable. I will be
taking notes as we talk, but it?s not like I?m evaluating everything
you say. Sometimes I have trouble remembering.
?Okay,? she cleared her throat, and poured herself a glass of water.
?Want some? If you do later, let me know. Where do you want to
begin? Your mother tells me you are troubled with a dream. We
can start there, or?.??
I shrugged. ?Okay, I?ve been having this dream,? I started talking,
and as soon as I opened up I spilled my guts. ?? So, the dreams
are the same, sort of. I?m always Mark, Bobby is always Shannon,
and I just see different things like the dance or the motel.?
?And you said Bobby has had the same dreams??
I nodded. ?He drew some pictures of us, and he?s dead on. I see
Mark in the mirror from time to time. I wish I was that good
looking, and man, Shannon is a total babe?. Sorry. I?.?
?It?s okay. I have a couple of teenage boys at home. I understand
something of what you are going through, and don?t worry about
what you say. My kids don?t, and I would rather get to know you
no matter how you choose to express yourself. Okay?? she flashed
me the biggest grin and I had to laugh.
?Okay. From what I remember, Shannon and I love each other, a
lot, man do we ever love each other, but every time we start
something, she always turns into Bobby. Well, her face turns into
Bobby?s face, but the rest of her stays Shannon.?
?And that?s when you wake up??
?Sometimes. Sometimes we keep going. I don?t know. It?s like I
don?t care if it?s Shannon or Bobby I?m with.?
?Do you have feelings for Bobby outside these dreams??
?I?. I didn?t before the dreams. I mean we were friends, pals, you
know. I looked forward to seeing him every day at school, or
hanging out with him at the pool, but he wasn?t even my best
friend. Now? Now it?s different. I mean he saw the way I was
looking at him, at the mall, and he thought I was gonna kiss him or
something. I see him, and I think Shannon, and?.?
?Did you kiss him? You don?t have to tell me, but it would help if
I knew.?
?Yes,? I blurted out with my cheeks burning. ?Yeah, I mean we
were in his bedroom, talking about this, and he hugged me,
and?he let me know he wanted to as much as I wanted to?.
Okay, so he got me turned on. I kissed him, lots of times, and-we
went all the way.?
?Okay, thanks for trusting me that much. I doubt it was easy for
you. Look, Will, I?m not here to make judgments, and this is
normal for boys your age, okay? It doesn?t mean you?re gay, or
that it is anything more than sex play, but I take it you have some
strong feelings for Bobby??
I nodded. ?I mean we?ve, well after that first time, he invited me
for a sleepover and he?s slept at my house, too. I-we-it?s getting a
lot better. I mean that first time was kind of awkward, you know. I
didn?t know what I was supposed to do, really, but now it?s great. I
never thought I?d fall in love with a boy.?
?What about Bobby??
I sighed. ?He?s into this more than I am. I mean, he primps before
I come over. He?s even plucked his eyebrows a bit, and I think
he?s curling his eyelashes. Look, Bobby?s cute, but not pretty, you
know? He doesn?t look like a girl and I think he?d look silly in a
dress, but he?s starting to act like a girl. A couple of times I?ve
heard sales people at the mall call him ?miss?. When they do he
looks at me, and winks, but I think he likes it.?
?Do any of your parents know about all this??
I shook my head. ?I think Bobby?s Mom knows, but she doesn?t
say, and my Mom? You think I should tell her??
?What do you think??
?I don?t know. She seemed to be cool with the idea?. But I?m not
ready to tell her.?
Dr. Meyers nodded. We talked about nothing much for the rest of
the session. She glanced at the clock. ?I would like to try
something different, next time, okay? In fact, can you come back
tomorrow??
?I?ll check with Mom.?
?How did it go?? Mom asked me as I left the office.
I shrugged. ?I feel better. She wants to see me again tomorrow for
something different.?
?Okay, fine with me. I?ll make the appointment.?
The next afternoon, Dr. Meyers asked me to stretch out on the sofa.
?Okay, like I said, I wanted to try something a little different.
What I would like to do is hypnotize you.? She put up a hand to
stop my question before I could even suck in the air to ask. ?No,
I?m not going to make you think you?re a dog or anything, just a
light trance to get in touch with your subconscious self. Is that
okay with you??
?Yeah,? I said. Being hypnotized had always sounded cool. She
started talking, and before I knew it I began to feel a bit
light-headed. I must have dozed off on the sofa.
?Will? Can you hear me??
?Sure,? I said, wondering why she didn?t let me sleep.
?I want to talk to you about your dreams. The ones about Shannon
and Mark.?
?I promised Shannon that we would always be together. I meant it,
but she was drifting away from me. I couldn?t let her go. That?s
why I kept having those dreams. I needed to remember her.?
?You?re saying that in your waking life you and Bobby were
drifting apart and you needed a reason to stay with him??
?Kind of. See, we?ve always been together. The last life we
shared he was my wife Shannon, before that I was his little sister,
Angela, and before that we were brother and sister and married
again before that. We?ve always been soul mates.?
?Tell me about Mark and Shannon.?
?Okay, my name was Mark Liam Kennedy, no relation, and she
was Shannon Colleen O?Rourke. The problem was my family was
well off, and they considered her from the wrong side of town. My
sister hated her from the start, but my parents did their best to
welcome her into the family once we were married. It?s not like
my father cut us out of the will, or barred us from the family
business, but they were all uneasy about her, no matter how much I
told them and she showed them what sort of girl she was. She
loved me, and I loved her, and that should have been enough.
?What year were you marred??
?1971,? I said. ?Our son, Timothy was born two years later,
and?. And we died in 1977.? I felt myself start to sweat.
?It?s okay, Mark. You do not need to go any further, unless you
want to.?
?I?m okay. There was a fire-it was horrible-at our motel. My sister
had paged me and there was no phone in the room so I went to the
nearest Seven Eleven to make the call. She wanted to chat. If she
hadn?t called me like that I would have been there-when the fire
started.
?It was already blazing, with flames twenty feet into the air above
the roof, when I got back to the motel. Shannon wasn?t anywhere
outside. I still remember it like I?m there as I speak. I fight my
way back to the room. There are flames and smoke everywhere.
Inside the room I can barely see. She is on the bed. Oh, my God.
Someone shot her. Someone shot my beautiful Shannon. She?s
bleeding. The fire. God, I can?t move. I?I don?t remember
anything after that.?
?Will. Listen to me. It was long ago. You are not Mark now.
Relax. You?re Will again.?
?I know, but the memories are so real-and so horrible.?
?Tell me about Bobby,? she said and I forgot everything else.
?I?ve known Bobby all my life. We were born, like, a week apart.
I was first, and ever since Kindergarten we?ve been friends. I
promised I would always be there to protect him-and I was. He?s
always getting in trouble because of his jokes and I?ve been in so
many fights for him. I?m not a big kid, look at me, or a jock, but-I
love him.?
?I believe you. There is something that sounds wrong about that
fire. It seems very coincidental that your sister would call you and
get you away from the motel before it happened. Could she have
sent someone to kill your wife??
?Meghan hated Shannon with a passion, but not that much. At
least I don?t think that much, but how could the guy find our
rooms. We didn?t check in under our real names, you know, sort
of a game we liked to play, but??
?If the guy had pictures of you and waited for you at the motel??
?Meghan did know the motel we always went to in Ocean City.
That had to be our favorite vacation spot. I checked since the
dreams started and it was rebuilt and is apparently even bigger than
ever.?
?Yes, it has, so if you signed in under a false name there would be
no record of your deaths-at least not officially. Okay, I would like
to talk to Bobby as well, but I can see why this is happening now.
?Your relationship with Bobby now. What do you feel about it??
?It?s great. It?s what we both want, a lot, and it?s not important
what the outside looks like, you know. It?s who the person is
inside.?
?I know. Will, I am going to count down from five and as I do you
will feel more awake?.?
***
I opened my eyes, surprised that I had fallen asleep. ?Whoa, was
that all for real? I really was this Mark Kennedy??
Dr. Meyers shook her head. ?Under hypnosis most people have
what are called past life memories. This doesn?t mean that
reincarnation is real, or that you really were Mark, just that you
have these memories and they are affecting your life in the here
and now.
?If, as you say, you used fake names at the motel, then there could
still be missing person reports out for Mark and Shannon. Your
son, Timothy would only be twenty-nine, so he should still be
alive. If you feel the need to pursue this, however, please
remember that you are no relation to that family any more, and that
you have no claim on them. Do not disturb them for something
you cannot possibly prove.?
I nodded. ?Thanks, but right now it?s tough enough being me. I
don?t want to be someone else, too. I don?t know those people and,
if my sister did arrange that fire, I don?t want her thinking I could
rat on her after all these years. All I want to do is figure out what
comes next with Bobby and me.?
She gave me the warmest smile. ?Well said, young man. I would
like to see Bobby, if you can bring him in. If not, please, make an
appointment for next week.?
?I will. Thanks."
Five
?We checked into that motel under different names? Why??
Bobby demanded. We were sitting cross-legged in his bedroom, a
game board set up between us as an alibi in case someone walked
in on us.
?We were playing some kind of sex game. I thought you?d get a
kick out of that. Let me see that clipping about the fire.?
Bobby opened the green box, and handed over the paper. I read
through it, then stopped.
?Listen to this. ?? During the fire, one man, identified as Carl
Jones from the registration, fought his way back into the fire to
save his wife. Both were found dead, and almost burned beyond
recognition?.??
?See? Carl Jones. That was me. I remember fighting my way
back to get you, but you were already dead. Shot. There was
nothing I could do.?
?You didn?t have to die with me,? Bobby said, quietly, but his eyes
belied his words and his hand reached out to squeeze into mind.
?I don?t think that was the plan. I was going to carry you outside
and we both would be safe. I think I was so shocked that you had
been killed that I lost track of everything else and the fire got me,
too.? I looked at him, and frowned. ?No wonder I was always
fighting every bully in school over you. I wasn?t going to let
anyone hurt you-ever again.?
?Yeah, and now everyone knows you?re a scrapper. Will? Yeah,
he may be small but stay away from him. He?s a fighter.?
?Now what?? I asked him. ?We know what those dreams mean,
but what about us??
?That?s easy,? Bobby said. ?Come on.?
I followed him out of his room, and downstairs to the living room.
He logged onto the computer and clicked online.
?We do a search. Let?s see what else we can find??
For the next couple hours we did just that. We found tons of
reports and an 800 number to call, but there, in black and white and
html, I saw pictures and stories about Mark and Shannon Kennedy.
Nothing had been updated for years, but the sites were still
maintained, and someone was still looking for them.
?You think we should call?? Bobby asked me.
?I guess. I mean we just trying to get information. I?ll do it.? I
called the number, left my name and email address, asked for more
information and let it go. ?So, that?s done. We know that they
really did live, and die-man, this is so weird-but are you okay with
all of this? I mean about us and everything.?
?Will, I love you,? he said.
?Robert?? We both spun around at the sound of Mrs. Richards?
voice. ?That may not be the most appropriate thing to say to your
friend.?
?I love him back just as much,? I said, quietly.
?Mom, this is Mark, you know, the guy from my dreams. It was all
real.?
?I thought you said that was Jason?? she said.
Bobby looked at me, and nodded. ?Okay, I made a mistake. I
didn?t know it was Will, until he started having the same dreams
about me being Shannon. See? Look at all of this stuff we found.
We were married. We had a son-and Will?s doctor wants to see
me, too. I?d like to go.?
?Slow down, Bobbi. There?s a lot here to take in. Run that by me
again.?
I took the lead, and filled her in on almost everything. ?So you see,
from what I remember about this, Bobby and I have been together
in almost all of our lives.?
It took a lot more discussion, but finally Mrs. Richards said, ?That
is incredible, but when is your next appointment with this
?specialist?? I will go with you and Bobby.?
****
?What do you think?? Bobby stood on my doorstep with his hair
done up in bangs, and the rest of it pulled back in the beginnings of
a ponytail. ?My hair grows fast enough. And I could use a fall to
give it more length.?
I stood aside and let him in. ?Mom?s not here, now, but?oh
heck!? I took him out to the kitchen, grabbed a soda from the
fridge and opened it for him. ?Here, drink this.? I shoved the soda
into his hand and sat him down at the kitchen table. ?Bobby, you
aren?t a girl. I?m not asking you to be a girl, either. You are cute.?
He grinned at that. ?Okay, and maybe with a bit of makeup and
longer hair you would look good as a girl, sort of, but is this what
you want??
Someone knocked on the door. ?Great, hold that thought,? I said
as I went to answer it.
A man stood there, staring down at me. ?Oh, I-I think I?m trying to
find your father. Is he home??
?No, he?s at work,? I said with a shrug. ?You want to leave a
message??
?Your father is William Connolly?? he asked.
?No, I?m Will. My Dad?s name is George. What?s this about??
?You? Someone by the name of William Connolly was looking
for information about my father.?
?You?re Tim?? Bobby cut in. ?Sorry, Tim Kennedy??
He nodded, ?But how did you know and, I have to ask, do you
know anything about my parents? They?ve been missing for
twenty-five years, and I?ve been following every lead I could get.?
?Come in,? Bobby said, breaking the silence. ?Hi, I?m Bobby
Richards. This is Will Connolly and it?s really a long story, Mr.
Kennedy. If he won?t tell you, I will.? Bobbi poked me in the ribs
to make certain I understood.
?Thanks,? I said and took up the conversation again. ?Look, Mr.
Kennedy, I-I wasn?t trying to bother you. I was looking for
information, too. I know this is gonna sound stupid?. Look, your
father died in a motel fire here, twenty-five years ago, trying to
save your mother, but she was already dead.?
?Okay,? he said sitting down. ?I kind of figured something like
that happened, but how do you know??
?That?s the weird part of it,? Bobby said. ?Would you like some
coffee, or something? Will?s Mom has a pot in the kitchen.?
?No, thanks. I would like to hear the story, no matter how weird it
is.?
I nodded. ?See, your Mom and Dad liked to play games, you
know, things to make their sex life more interesting. They signed
into the motel as Mr. and Mrs. Carl Jones, which is why there was
never any record of your parents? death.?
?So how did you find out about it??
?Good question,? I said walking around the room. ?There isn?t a
good way to explain this?. Help me out here, Bobby.?
?Me? Tell him, Will. He?s got a right to know.?
I looked at the man, and shook my head. ?I was him,? I said. ?I
mean, in my last life I was Mark Liam Kennedy and Bobby was
Shannon O?Rourke Kennedy. We stayed together in this life, sort
of, and we both had these dreams, over-and-over about Mark and
Shannon. I went to a specialist and she hypnotized me and I
remembered.
?Look,? I added quickly. ?I know it doesn?t mean anything. I?m a
kid, I?m not your Dad, but I?ve got the memories if that helps.
That?s why we?ve been searching out information about them, too.
We wanted to know more.?
Tim looked at both of us. Bobby nodded. ?I had the dreams first.
I knew I was Shannon, but not who Mark was. He dreamed about
being Mark. I know it sounds crazy, but that?s it. If you believe in
reincarnation this is who we are now. If not, please, we?re sorry.
We never thought you would get involved when Will called that
number the other day. That?s all.?
?It?s okay,? he said after a while. ?I?ve had past life memories,
too.?
?Oh yeah?? I asked him.
?Doesn?t matter. Look, kids, thanks for sharing this with me. I-I
guess I was still hoping to find them alive.? He laughed for a
second. ?Actually, I guess I did find them alive, but not the way I
expected. Do you know what happened that night??
?I do,? I said. ?We think whoever killed your mother started the
fire. She was shot and by the time I got back to the motel the fire
was blazing, especially in her room. Your aunt Meghan paged me
and I had to drive to the nearest pay phone to call her back. You
know, she knew we were at that motel. I?m sure she figured out
what happened. My doctor, the ?specialist,? thought she knew
about the murder, if she didn?t set it up herself. We think that?s
why she called me when she did-to get me out of there. If that?s
the case, I guess she never figured I?d go back in after your
mother?but she didn?t realize how much I loved her. I couldn?t
do anything else.
?I told the doctor that was crazy. Meghan hated Shannon with a
passion, but not enough to kill her, but I guess that?s one mystery
that will never be solved, unless Meghan comes clean. Is she still
alive??
?Very much so. My grandparents raised me. Grandma is still
alive, but Grampa died last year. Aunt Meghan used to talk a lot
about you-Mark, but not a word about my mother.?
?Should have known,? Bobby said. ?I was a nice person, and I
would have been a great mom, I know that. I dreamed about you,
but you were a toddler when this happened. I only wish we could
have let you know why we didn?t come home.?
?You did, now, and after all these years I?m glad to get closure. I
believe your story. I know no one else will, but thanks?.?
The front door opened, and Mom walked inside and started as she
turned and saw the strange man in her kitchen. You could see her
swallow her surprise and put a smile on her face as she said, ?Hi,
I?m?.?
?Mom,? I interrupted. ?Uh, this is Mr. Kennedy?. He?.?
?Mrs. Connolly, glad to meet you. It would seem your son used to
be my father and we just getting reacquainted.? Suddenly realizing
how bizarre that sounded, he blushed and hurriedly continued. ?I
was just leaving,? he said and stood up.
We saw him to the door. ?Thanks for coming, Tim,? Bobby said.
?Yeah, uh, thanks,? I added.
?What was that all about?? Mom demanded, turning on us as soon
as the door closed.
I told her the whole story as Bobby fixed her a cup of coffee.
?So, when I called for more information, Tim must have gone
through hoops trying to track me down from the email address, but
he did and he came here trying to get word about his father. We
told him what we knew and that was it.?
?Okay, but look, both of you. I know you are almost fourteen, but I
really don?t want you letting strange people into the house, no
matter what. Okay??
I nodded. Busted, and she was probably right. We had no idea
what Tim would be like as a grownup. Bobby seemed to be a sorry
as I was.
?This time it worked out, there had better not be a next time.?
I took Bobby upstairs, pushed him into my room, and closed the
door. ?Okay Shannon, my dear, you didn?t answer my question.?
?Which question was that Mark, dearest?? Shannon asked coyly.
"I?m not really Mark and you?re not really Shannon. I?m talking to
you, Bobby, my best friend, and I want to know if you want to be a
girl??
?I couldn?t answer you in front of the baby, Mark, sweetheart,?
Shannon smiled guilelessly. ?I think I really do need to see that
?specialist? lady about this, but you can trust me, I?m not trying to
be a girl for you. Well, if you like it, great, but?.
Bobby started pacing the room. ?You don?t know what this has
been like for me. For as long as I can remember, I thought I should
have been a girl. I didn?t know why. My mom listened to me, and
didn?t laugh, but she didn?t do anything about it, either. I guess if
my Dad was still around I would have been told to shut up, but
he?s gone off to California or someplace like that to find himself
and I have never heard one word from him.
?At least you have a Dad,? Bobby sighed, after a second.
?Yeah, I do, and he?s the greatest, and the noisiest, and the most
pig-headed dad you ever want to meet. Think he would understand
if I told him about us?? I asked him.
?No, but then who says you have to? I don?t know. The worst part
of this is the fact that I like being a boy. I mean, I like hanging out
at the mall with the guys, playing blood and gore shoot ?em ups at
the arcade - everything. The other half of me loves to feel
feminine. I thought it was great to see you riding up on your white
stallion to rescue me from the bullies-and my big fat mouth. You
know how great I felt when you did that? You were my friend and
my hero.
?Okay, so maybe I wanted you to rescue me the way you did and I
swear it never dawned on me, dumb blond here, that you didn?t
want to fight for my sake. I?m sorry, but I never thought for a
second I could even tease you about having feelings for you that
weren?t one hundred percent male. I even made it a point to make
you think you weren?t my best friend.?
I nodded. ?I wondered, but yeah, I would have freaked if you said
anything before I had those dreams. Man, I cared for you, and I
wouldn?t even think about it myself. But my question??
?I?m trying to figure it out myself.?
?Okay, fair enough,? I said. ?But for now, just so you know, if you
start wearing skirts and acting like some drag queen I don?t know
you.?
Six
A week later, I collected Bobby to go to the Dream doctor, and for
the first time I noticed a hint of powder on his face. ?Does your
Mom know about this??
?She bought me the powder, why?? he said and grabbed my hand.
My mother didn?t say anything as we walked back to her car.
Bobby climbed into the back seat, and I took the front seat. I know
she saw the way he held my hand, but?I?d tell her in time.
Dr. Meyers seemed delighted to see the both of us. She made
certain his mother had signed the appropriate approvals and took us
into her office. Then, she asked Bobby a few questions before
explaining that she wanted to hypnotize him as well. He agreed,
eagerly I thought, and he stretched out on the couch. This time I
got to watch, but the one thing I noticed when Bobby closed his
eyes was how pretty he looked. I didn?t know if I was just seeing
things, or if he was actually looking more like a girl.
?Bobby, tell me about the dreams you?ve been having.?
?Sure,? he said. He didn?t sound weird or anything, just like he
was talking normally. ?I found Mark again, and he was right under
my nose the whole time. I?m finding I love him just as much now
as when we were married.?
?Okay, what about your marriage?? she asked.
?It wasn?t the first marriage for us. We?ve been together for a long
time, but this time was fantastic. Mark was so dreamy, and he
loved me so deeply. We had a great marriage and I can?t believe
my father hated me enough to end it.?
?Your father??
Bobby nodded. ?That bastard was sent to jail when I was a
teenager for what he did to me. He deserved it, too, but he got out
and wanted to get back at me. He set things up with Mark?s sister,
that bitch, and she told him where we were staying. We were at
our favorite sleazy hotel in Ocean City and my father must have
been waiting for us. As soon as Mark left to answer Meghan?s
page he almost broke down the door.
Something seemed to change and her next words seemed to be
addressed to someone else. ?What are you doing here?? Bobby
started shaking on the couch. ?Get out of here. Mark will be right
back. That bitch. You won?t get away with this, Dad. No!
Please. Don?t shoot me! Help! Help me someone!?
Bobby fell limp on the couch. ?Oh God, help me. He?s setting a
fire. Mark, get out of here. Jesus, Joseph and Mary. Can?t you
hear me Mark? Get out of here. You can?t die too. Someone has
to live for Timmy. Please Mark...?
It was all I could do not to go over to the couch to hold him. Dr.
Meyers glanced at me and shook her head. Tears rolled down
Bobby?s cheeks.
?Bobby, listen to me. That happened a long time ago. You can
come back now.?
?Oh, I couldn?t stop him from dying, too. Mark-Will. Thank God
he?s okay now and just as sweet as he always was.?
?You really seem to love Will,? Dr. Meyers noted.
?Yes, I do. He?s always been wonderful as a boy, not so much
when he lives as a girl, but as a boy he?s the best. And he sees it
too. He doesn?t care that I?m a boy in this life. I don?t want to be a
boy. I don?t think I ever did, but I didn?t get the choice. I want to
be a girl again for Will, but he?s not that comfortable with it. It?s
just plumbing that needs to be fixed, not my soul.?
?Bobby, if you did have the choice, would you dress as a girl??
?In a heartbeat,? he said. ?I?ve done so before, and I?ve pulled it
off, but Will is such a sweetheart, he?d be the one to give it away
since he would be embarrassed about it. He thinks I?m doing this
just for him. I?m not.?
?What about your parents?? Dr. Meyers asked.
?Dad left when I was a baby. I haven?t seen him since and Mom
wants me to be happy as either a boy or a girl. She knew about
Shannon and Mark long before Will did. At first, I thought my
friend Jason was the one and he and I had a fling, but it wasn?t the
same.?
?If you could say anything at all to Will, what would it be??
?Will, I love you more than anything and you are a real quick
learner. Don?t worry about me, just let me find my own place, and
even if we don?t get married this time around I will always love
you.?
Dr. Meyers looked at me and nodded. I cleared my throat.
?Bobby, I love you too, and it?s okay for you to do your thing. But
please, please, please tell me before you go out with me dressed as
a girl.?
?But that would spoil the surprise,? he answered with an evil grin.
I could have slugged him.
?Bobby, I am going to count down from five and I want you to
wake up?.?
***
Bobby stretched, his eyes fluttered and even awake he still looked
damn good. ?Whoa. My father did it.? He looked at me, and
sighed. ?No skirts.?
?Hot pants,? I said. ?You?ve got great legs and you?d look really
good in hot pants.?
?You really think so?? he asked me, grinning from ear to ear.
?Yeah, I think so. Really. You?ll be great no matter which way
you go.?
?Okay, now I think the two of you can be happy with this, or did
you want to explore other lives? I can help.?
?No,? I said quickly. ?We have to tell Tim not to blab this to
anyone. I don?t want Shannon?s dad to think she could rat him out,
you know? I don?t think anything Bobby told the police or the
judge would count if it came to that, but that guy sounds crazy.?
?Tim?? Dr. Meyers asked. ?Who is Tim??
?We started doing some research after the last time I came and we
found a web site about Mark and Shannon. I called for more
information, and a couple of days later Tim, the guy that was our
son, turned up at my door. After he made me,? I said and pointed
at Bobby, ?I told Tim what we knew and why, and he left.?
?That may not have been the smartest thing to do, but since it?s
done, by all means call him back.?
Seven
The next day, as I expected, Bobby turned up at my house wearing
bright blue hot pants. I mean those pants showed every inch of his
legs and more. I found myself straining against my underwear
when I saw him. Bobby noticed the reaction and just gave me a
crooked grin.
?Is there something the two of you want to tell me?? Mom asked
from behind me.
?Uh, yeah-yes there is,? I stuttered, but I was proud of myself for
not blushing.
Bobby walked over to me and took my hand. ?It was me, Mrs.
Connolly. We have loved each other in life after life and this one
looks to be the same. I taught him how to do it, that?s all, and he?s
really learning fast.?
Mom stared at us, then at Bobby. ?Why Bobby Richards, you little
hussy.?
He broke into a huge grin. ?Thanks.?
?And if you intend to date my son, you really should do something
with your hair, and those pants, just don?t make it on you.?
?But Will thinks I have great legs, don?t you, darling? He wanted
me in hot pants not skirts.?
I nodded.
?But the color just isn?t right for you. This is going to take a lot of
work. Come on, sweetie, I have the day off. I?ll give you the crash
course.?
?Mom?? I asked. ?Uh, Mom? I thought we were?.?
?This is girl stuff, kid. Go play video games or something.
Bobbi?-she made his name sound feminine somehow-?and I are
going to the mall.?
The expression on Bobby?s face was priceless. ?Yeah, girl stuff.
Go on, you big lug, I need to get be-you-tea-full for my boyfriend,
and I?m not sure if it?s you, yet.?
?Mom, do you have to get him started like that?? I asked, but it
sounded more like a whine. ?I?m going to the arcade. You girls
have fun.?
?We will, sweetheart. Why don?t you catch a movie while you?re
out, too,? Mom called after me.
For the next couple of hours, I hung out and played some games,
but my heart wasn?t in it and I was wasting money. There was
nothing playing at the movie theater that I really wanted to see and,
looking for something to occupy my time, I idly wondered if
Books-A-Million would have something on reincarnation.
Turns out they had a ton of stuff and, since I didn?t know where to
start, I grabbed as much as I could off the shelf and took the books
over to the coffee shop to figure out which one I wanted.
I finally settled on a couple of books, I paid for them and headed
for home. It was later than I thought when I opened the front door
and called out that I was home. Mom called back from the kitchen
and I headed back there, but I never made it past the kitchen door.
Instead, I came to a dead stop as I stared at the girl in the kitchen
with Mom.
?Put your eyes back in your head, young man,? Mom said to me.
?What do you think??
?Bobby?? I asked, stunned. He was gorgeous from head to toe.
He, no she wore a dark blue skirt with a white top and she must
have had something on underneath the top to give her a figure.
?What do you think?? Mom gently asked again.
?I love it. Okay, so I was wrong about the skirts. You look super,
I mean, you really are a major babe. Can I pick them or what?? I
wouldn?t have believe it was possible, but somehow Bobbi?s grin
got even bigger.
?Will,? Mom said.
?It?s okay, Mrs. C.,? Bobbi interrupted still beaming. ?He can
think he picked me if he wants to.?
?Whoa, this is something else, Bobby. I never dreamed you?d look
like this. I am going to hate seeing you go back to being a boy
after this.?
?Who says anything about going back?? he asked. ?This is what I
want.?
?What about school?? I asked him. ?We start high school in less
than two months.?
?You just figured that out? I?m talking to Mom about being
registered as a girl. The schools are getting good about things like
this. We?ll see.?
Over the next couple of weeks, I did get used to Bobbi as a girl. At
least she was no longer the goofball, that he had been and our
relationship was getting better and better.
***
Three weeks after Bobbi?s crash course, I was home by myself
when the phone rang. ?Hello??
?Will, it?s Tim Kennedy.?
?Oh, uh, hi,? I said. My interest in the whole mess had been fading
since I sent him the email about Bobbi?s memories.
?I checked your story out and everything you told me was correct.
I had the police exhume the bodies of Mr. and Mrs. Jones and the
DNA testing showed that they were my parents. I am having a
proper burial for them here, at home. I also confronted my aunt
about her phone call and she broke down and admitted everything.
She knew that my grandfather intended to kill my mother and she
helped him do it. She thought that, by getting you away from the
motel with her phone call, she would be saving your life. She
never dreamed you would risk going back into the fire. She?s been
holding this in for the last twenty-five years and she is glad to get it
off her chest. Also, my grandfather died in prison two years after
he killed my mother. I?m not sure about the whole story, but he is
not a threat to you any more.?
?That?s a relief,? I said.
?Yes, it is, but Will, I was wondering if it would be all right with
your parents if I visited you and Bobby from time to time??
?What for?? I asked. ?If you want to hang out with us, I guess
that?s okay, but do you play video games??
?I did, but, I kind of thought that maybe, if I did, I could get to
know my parents. I know all of this does give me some closure,
but you are or were my father and I barely remember you except
from pictures.?
?Me? I?m just a kid. Look, Mr. Kennedy, please, you won?t get
any answers from me. I?m not your dad and I can?t be. I?m going
to be a freshman in high school. It?s tough enough being a kid and
I?m not gonna try to be your dad, too. We told you everything we
know about Mark and Shannon, and we would have to be under
hypnosis to get more.
?Look Mr. Kennedy, there is a big part of me that is so sorry about
all of this. Really. You grew up not knowing your dad and always
wondering. At least, now you know what happened, and that your
parents loved you a lot. I know, I wasn?t supposed to be the hero
type and try to save your mother, but I didn?t have a choice.
?I guess what I?m saying is, if you want to come down that?s fine
with me. There are lots of cool places in town we could go to now,
cause it?s summer and summer always rocks in Ocean City. But
you gotta drive cause I can?t and you gotta pay cause I don?t get
much of an allowance?.?
He laughed. ?I keep forgetting you are a little kid.?
?Not little, I?m fourteen.?
?And these cool places have lots of noise and lights and kids
screaming??
?Yeah, they do. No booze, you know, but you could be like my
really big brother cause you?re so old now and I can teach you how
to be cool again.?
?What if we just went to a nice restaurant where we could talk?? he
asked.
?You mean like Denny?s? But that?s so dull,? I said.
?No, I meant really nice, where they wouldn?t allow cut offs and
t-shirts.?
I sighed, ?Then I am like so not there. You gotta lighten up, live a
little.?
There was a long pause. ?Okay, you were right. I?m not ready to
hang out with the teen crowd again and I do need to accept that is
who you are now. Will-William, you have a great life, enjoy being
a kid, and tell Bobby I said hello. I?ll keep in touch.?
?Sure, Mr. Kennedy. It?s cool. I?ll tell him.? I hung up the phone
and shook my head. Somewhere inside me Mark Kennedy was
yelling his head off, but what the heck, he?s an old dead guy who
has nothing to do with me now. I picked up the phone and called
Bobbi.
Eight
A couple of weeks later, I had dinner with Bobbi at her place and I
couldn?t help myself as I sighed happily as I watched her across the
table. I swore she was still getting prettier every day, and she
swore up and down that she wasn?t taking anything, either.
Hormones at eighteen maybe, but she was just, or so she said,
naturally beautiful now. Not possible, I thought, considering the
rather goofy looking boy she had been a month before. Then
again, she may have been goofy trying to pass as a boy, I wasn?t
sure.
Bobbi left the table, walked over to the TV in the living room and
turned on the news. I didn?t pay attention-after all, what was
another war or two when we?d had so many lately. I helped Mrs.
Richards take the dishes out to the sink, but stopped as I heard the
announcer.
?Coming up, we have the story of two local boys that solved a
twenty-five year old murder mystery. We will be right back.?
?Did you hear that?? I asked Bobbi.
?What?? she asked back. ?I wasn?t listening.?
?They?re talking about us,? I said. ?I think Tim spilled his guts to
the press.?
?Oh, shi-shoot,? she said, just barely saving herself from becoming
less than ladylike.
?Pay attention, sweetheart, I don?t like this one bit.?
When the news show came back, after the usual three million or so
commercials, the lead
story really was ours.
?How real are past life memories? They say that everyone has
them under hypnosis, but could those memories be accurate. Mr.
Timothy Kennedy of Westchester County, New York, thinks so.
?Twenty-five years ago, when Mr. Kennedy was just a toddler, his
parents went on vacation to Ocean City and never returned. They
vanished without a trace-that is until last month. Mr. Kennedy
created a website, a number of years ago, trying to get information
from anyone on what might have happened to his parents. He even
set up an eight hundred number, but no one ever called it. But
then, last month his first call came through, from a little boy in
Ocean City who wanted more information.
?Mr. Kennedy found the youngster only to find out that this child
had been having bad dreams and remembered, under hypnosis that
he had been Mark Kennedy, Timothy?s father. He told Mr
Kennedy what he did remember, and that his best friend in this life,
another little boy, remembered being Timothy?s mother.
?The story came out, that the Kennedys had checked into a motel,
under assumed names??
I stood up and tried to turn off the TV. ?Do we really need to hear
this? They aren?t giving out our names.?
?Hush,? Bobbi said. ?I want to hear it, so sit down, like a good
boy, and listen.?
?You weren?t my mother,? I complained.
?One of these days, I am going to create a ?mute? button for you.
Hush.?
?? DNA testing of the remains proved that they were Timothy?s
parents, and his aunt, confronted with this after twenty-five years,
finally confessed her involvement with the murder. The killer,
who turned out to be Shannon?s father, died in prison, twenty-three
years ago.
?The aunt, Ms. Meghan Kennedy, has stated that she would like to
meet the boys, and that she has a surprise for them??
?That bitch,? Bobbi snapped. ?Not in this or any other lifetime.?
?The names of the boys are being held due to their age, but if they
are listening and if they want to meet Ms. Kennedy they are
instructed to contact Timothy Kennedy?.?
?What do you think that surprise is?? I asked. ?A time bomb or a
couple of live rattle snakes.?
?The snakes, definitely the snakes. That suits her.?
?May I?? I asked and pointed to the phone. ?It?s toll free.?
?Go for it,? Bobbi agreed. ?And I want words with our son when
you?re finished.?
I called Tim?s number. After the message, I said, ?Son, this is your
dear, young, dad. What?s the big idea of blabbing this to the press?
No, we don?t want to see Meghan in this or any other lifetime. Oh