Being Myself With Marian free porn video

Being myself with Marian By Jessie I have a short little story to share about an event in my life. It happened when I was only sixteen. I'd always been fascinated with the way women dress. When I was a kid I'd tried dressing up in my mothers clothes until I was caught one day. My mother made me feel so bad about myself that I swore I'd never do it again. She really made me feel like I was the sickest creature alive, when all I was doing was experimenting. I hated her for the way she treated me... it seemed to confirm her hate of men. Anyway, time passes but you're real feelings never change. I would often wonder about being able to dress as a woman when ever I liked, I felt jealous of my sisters being able to have so much fun with their clothes while mine were as boring as cardboard to me. It never seemed fair. On one holiday break I was sent to stay with one of my mom's friends for 10 days while my mother went away for work. She didn't trust me to be alone in the house on my own... actually she didn't trust me about anything! Marian lived in the next suburb from us so it was easy for me to get around. I liked Marian she was very good looking and always made me smile, she was much younger than my mother and so she was much easier to talk too. The first two days were fun. She loved looking good and enjoyed having a young guy around to show off to... what she didn't know was that that I envied the way she dressed and desperately wanted to try on some of her clothes. So when she was out one time I snuck into her room and tried on some of her beautiful underwear. She had the most beautiful bedroom and collection of clothes I'd ever seen. I wandered around her room in her pretty things looking at her dresses and her other clothes. Without warning I heard the front door open downstairs. I was terrified of being caught in front of her in her clothes, so I ran from her room back to my bedroom still wearing her bra and panties. I slipped them off, stashed them under my clothes and got changed again. Fortunately, she didn't notice a thing but I had to find away of getting her clothes back into her room before she discovered they were missing. I really liked her and the last thing I wanted was for her to think I was a weirdo like my mother made me feel. No matter when I tried to take her things back, it always seemed to be the wrong moment. A day and a half later I was starting to get desperate to get her things back into her room. I finally had my chance when she went out for the afternoon. When I went to retrieve her things from my draw, to my horror I couldn't find them anywhere! I was sure of where I'd left them but they'd disappeared. The only explanation I could settle on was that she had found them. Horror of Horrors! I felt sick inside. She hadn't said anything to me at all. I felt ill all afternoon wondering what she would do or how she would react. Finally, I heard her car come up the driveway... my heart was pounding as she came into the house. I had to face her, she must have found them in my draw. I'd thought of a thousand explanations to give her, but none of them made any sense. I decided that telling her the truth and keeping it as light as possible was the best way. I strode down the stairs to greet her. "Hi Marian, I need to talk to you." I said nervously as we met at the bottom of the stairs. She had a kind of smile on her face and didn't look too upset, so I guessed she wasn't in a bad mood, before I had a chance to say anything she came over to me and gave me a kiss and gentle hug and said. "Hi honey, you look worried... I think I know why, don't you?" "Oh, I'm so sorry Marian... you must think I'm the weirdest freak around." I said, as I got ready to admit to my nature, but she interrupted me saying "Relax sweetie... I understand, here look I bought you a present while I was out." She handed me one of the shopping bags she had under her arm. "What's this?" I asked "Open it silly, you'll soon see." I opened the bag to find a brand new bra and panties sitting neatly wrapped in tissue paper at the bottom. I looked at her in amazement. I didn't know what to say. "What, are these for me?" "Yes, of course they are honey... I bought them for you... what do you think? They're really pretty aren't they? Do you like them?" "Well, yes... they're beautiful... but... I mean. They're girl's things, you mean you don't mind... I mean you know about me." "Well, I think that's pretty obvious darling. I don't mind if you like wearing pretty things... it must be awful having to sneak around to try on other people's things... I thought you'd be happier if you had some of your own... Well, what do you think?" I just stood there and blushed! "I don't know what to say Marian... I'm so embarrassed" "But you like them don't you?" "Yes, they're lovely... I just didn't think you'd react like this." "Well, I do have a couple of conditions that go with them." "What do you mean?" "Okay, for a start, I want you to promise that you won't sneak around my bedroom when I'm out. It's my room and I deserve some respect and privacy okay?" "I'm so sorry Marian... I didn't mean to upset you... I just..." "It's okay, I understand it must be hard for a boy to express his feminine feelings... but they're my clothes and I'd like to be in control of who wears them okay? So if you want to wear or borrow any of my things just ask me first, then I can choose some things for you okay?" "Yes Marian... I'm so sorry, really... you're being so good about it." "Don't fuss, its no big thing... God, girls pinch each others clothes all the time sweetie! My sister and I used to drive each other crazy. But I want to be asked okay?" "Yes... look I won't ever do it again, I like you too much. And I wasn't trying to steal your clothes... it was an accident really, I just didn't want to get caught so I stashed them until I could put them back. I'm just too curious for my own good." "Well, that's my other condition... I didn't just buy you those to put in a drawer or do your business with them and then forget about them. I want you to wear them... I want you wear them as they're intended, as underwear. Do you understand?" "What... now you mean?" "Yes, now... and every day you're here with me. I want them to be you're underwear. I've bought some more panties for you too." "Oh... I don't know about that... I mean it was just curiosity... I didn't expect you to buy me some." "Well, they're my terms Petal. While you stay with me you start wearing girl's underwear everyday. Otherwise I'll have to tell you're Mom what you've been up to... I don't want too, I'm not just being mean. I want you to understand the difference between a sexual fetish and normal sensual comfort, okay? If you make a mess in them then you'll have to clean them... because they're your underwear not someone else's." "Umm... okay, but what if they show... I can't wear a bra under a tight shirt, people will see it." "Well, that's why I picked up some other things from the recycle shop for you too... and you can use some of my things... some of my clothes will fit you." "Huh? I meant my boy's clothes." "Yes, I agree, a bra would look funny under your boy's clothes, they're meant to be worn under girl's clothes... so you'd better wear some girl's clothes around the house... and when you have to go out dressed as boy, well, perhaps you can just wear a pretty teddy or something so it doesn't show so much... go on, it'll be fun! I want you to know what its like to dress as a girl... you know, girls don't wander around all day getting turned on by their clothes, but girl's clothes are lovely to wear... they're very sensual... I want you to feel the difference okay?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing! One minute I'm worried that she'll freak out... the next I'm scared of being turned into a girl. "What you want me to dress like a girl completely? I don't think I want to go that far." "Well, it's a bit weird wearing a bra panties under boy's things. They're just Clothes honey... if you like wearing pretty underwear, you'll love being dressed properly as a girl... they're made to go together... Anyway... that's my condition okay or else I'll tell your Mom... and anyway I've bought you some beautiful things... I don't want to waste my money on you." She handed me a few more shopping bags and told me to take them up to my room and try on the underwear, then she would help me with the other clothes. There wasn't much I could say! She was determined to prove her point to me. I marched off upstairs and emptied out the small sea of feminine clothes on my bed... There were 3 skirts in varying lengths with some tops and sweaters and two very beautiful dresses... she'd even found some second hand shoes and some accessories! I couldn't believe they were meant for me. I'd imagined dressing as girl in my fantasies but the reality of seeing these pretty clothes on my bed and knowing that... not only were they mine but I was required to wear them too was quite a shock! I felt very uneasy at first... it seemed very strange... but, I didn't want her to tell my Mom... She already thought I was some sort of sexual freak and I'd always imagined what it would be like to dress like a girl... I just didn't like being made to wear them... I felt like I was being punished but she was so nice about it all that I didn't feel like I could refuse... It seemed so innocent or even natural coming from her mouth but laying in front of me on my bed was a complete set of women's clothes that I was about to dress in as if it was an everyday event... It was a very strange feeling indeed. I slipped into the bra and panties as she'd asked. I relaxed as I felt them surround me. They were a matching pale pink satin with very elegant lace trim. They fitted me almost perfectly... she really knew about buying clothes... I looked at myself in the mirror... there I was standing in a brand new matching bra and panties set that was meant for me... not someone else. I loved them... I felt suddenly safe and secure wearing them... they were mine, I didn't have to worry about feeling weird for dressing in someone else's clothes... they were mine... bought especially for me. It was far more liberating than I'd expected. "Oh they look so pretty on you sweetheart... I'm so pleased, I was worried I'd get the wrong size... they're brand new you know... I have some just like them... do you like them? I love them on you! This is going to be fun!" Marian said as she entered my room unexpectedly. I didn't feel embarrassed or ashamed... her happy words made me feel even better. "Oh thanks Marian... I feel really good in them... thanks to you." I said as I gave her a hug. She was right, making it so natural made me feel natural... all the guilt I'd carried for years from my mothers reactions seemed to have been blown away in one easy moment. Its like I'd waited all my life to have my feelings validated or freed from inside me... Marian had made it feel okay inside me, she'd put it all into perspective by being so open. "Okay Sweetheart, now we can get started on making you look like a real girl... I love playing with clothes... It's a pity boys can't be more like girls too sometimes... hey, I'm dying to see this white dress on you... it would have cost a fortune to buy new... I love recycle stores... oh, you'll need a slip with it... bring the dress and come with me...I'll get you one of mine." Marian said. We moved into her room and she found a gorgeous silky white slip for me to wear. We spent the rest of the day playing with looks and styles for both of us. I'd never had so much fun. Marian got right into it... she seemed to love having someone to dress up with. She showed me her clothes and told me about what goes with what and which clothes suite certain types of bodies and occasions... its was so liberating. Like hearing a whole lot of knowledge I'd been kept apart from before. I'll save you the longwinded description of what I chose to wear, other than to say we settled on the shortish white fine cotton dress and matching white open toed heels. Marian did my make up perfectly, I felt completely comfortable and at ease with her in my new clothes. It was as if I'd always dressed this way, as if it was perfectly natural to slip out of boy's clothes and into some pretty underwear and a soft dress. That evening we made dinner together and spent a magic night sitting in the back garden. We talked and giggled, listened to some music and played some cards... and even drank a little wine. All the while I was dressed from head to toe as a girl and loving every sensual minute of it. When it came time for bed Marian gave me one of her night dresses to wear. Without so much as a raised eye she kissed me on my cheek and said with a yawn. "Ohhhh... that was so much fun petal... you look really lovely tonight... I loved dressing you today, thanks honey. I'm so tired, have a beautiful sleep sweetheart I'll see you in the morning." It all seemed so natural with her, but here I was standing in a very pretty cotton dress and heels with a feminine nightdress draped over my arm, as if this was just any normal night! I carefully slipped out of my beautiful clothes and placed them gently together in a pile before getting into the silky nightdress and hopping under the covers. Ahh what a delicious feeling... The next morning I woke up feeling extremely horny, the feel of her nightdress around me and the smell of my perfume and makeup still around me was too much... I had to masturbate wildly, sensually, femininely... the sight of my pretty clothes and the matching heels next them brought waves of pleasure from yesterdays memories of swishing around being a girl... I was just about to come in a huge volcanic orgasm when Marian breezed straight through my bedroom door without knocking... catching me in a torment of self-pleasure. "Oh... Petal... really, that's my nightdress you're playing with... you'll get it all messy... stop it at once... wouldn't you prefer to do it with a girl's body... move over honey." Marian said as she dropped her gown and slipped into bed with me in her pretty things. At first I was frozen with shock... She's my mother's friend for Godsake and now she's jumping in bed with me! But the smell and feel of her beautiful warm body slipping against me in my nightdress was captivating beyond belief... before I knew it Marian's hand had searched out my aching member and she expertly stroked and squeezed it back to a hard silky clad pole. She skillfully raised my nightdress and sat on top of me. She sucked my member deep within her luscious warm wet folds and rode me for all her worth until I exploded in one of the most massive orgasms I'd ever experienced before... moments later Marian followed in a series of tumultuous groans, moaning... "Darling girl... I love fucking you my little pretty, pretty." A little while after I peeled myself away from her and went to the bathroom for a shower... After being dressed all day as girl yesterday and then coming so much in so much feminine bliss... most of my feminine thoughts had faded. My mind turned to what I was going to do for the rest of the day... Then I remembered that Marian wanted me to wear girl's clothes... "Ah... no, jeans will do for today... maybe tomorrow I'll dress again... She didn't really mean it, just trying to get me going... Mmm... No, she's had her fill I'm sure." I thought to myself as I wandered out to find my jeans and tee shirt. When I entered the room again, to my surprise, I saw Marian sorting through my clothes... she had moved all my boy's clothes out of my drawers and placed them in a suitcase on the bed. Next to the suitcase was a neat pile of girl's clothes. "What are you doing Marian? I was just going to get those jeans out to wear today?" "Oh no sugar! Remember our deal? There'll be no jeans for you unless you want to wear heels and makeup with them." "Oh Marian... I thought you were just kidding... I mean yesterday was fun and I'd really like to do it again... but today, I just want to wear my jeans and mess around a bit." "No way babe... these boy's clothes are going to be locked away until the end of next week... this is an all girls house from now on... I'm not kidding, I want you to experience being a girl all the time... that's the only way you'll learn to appreciate what being a girl is like. Now you can wear the same bra from yesterday and I've put out some of the other panties I bought for you so you can choose. I've got some friends coming over today so I've picked out a skirt and blouse that I think will suit you the best Okay? "Okay? No it's not okay Marian. The game is over... did you say you have some friends coming over too? What, and I'm supposed to pretend to be girl with them? Its not happening Marian I simply won't do it! I want my boy's clothes back." Without warning Marian stepped over to me and slapped me very hard across the face. I was shocked and stunned by her attack. "Now listen you selfish little bitch. I've got friends coming over and I want you to keep you're promise and look your best. You will learn what its like to be a girl... not just when it suites you to dress up but when it's the last thing you feel like... that's what we women have to do whether we like it or not... so you're going to learn about it too! Remember who it was I caught stealing my underwear to play dress ups with? My little pretty, pretty. My little dandy girl! Now get into your bra and panties sweet pea... We've got work to do before the girls arrive." I didn't know what to say. I was stunned... I was scared. But how could she force me? Oh shit, the last thing I wanted was for her to tell my mother, God that thought terrified me even more. I decided to protest... I didn't want to be made to dress like a girl when I didn't feel like it. "You can't make me Marian. I know what game your playing... and I see your point... okay, its not all frills and lace being a girl but this is really taking it too far." "You think I'm taking it too far do you? Did you know the police are looking for a young man who's been stalking women and stealing women's clothes off the clotheslines around here? How do I know that you're not the one? Well? Think about it Susan, how do I really know? Do you want me to tell both your mother and the police that I caught you with my bra and panties?" "Of course not... of course it wasn't me. I'm not that weird... Look I'll never do it again okay? I've learned my lesson, I thought you were okay with it... I even thought you liked it after yesterday and this morning. This is blowing up out of all proportion... and what's the 'Susan' about." "That's my name for you Susan. It suites you. Yes I am alright with it honey, I like your girlie side... but they were my conditions... you see, I only think its weird if you behave like its weird, I'm a woman, there's nothing weird about being 'feminine' to me... and if you feel like that too, then you are like that. If you can accept your 'girlie' side then it becomes just another part of your personality. But if you run around stealing and trying on other girl's clothes to masturbate with... then hate yourself for being part fem... Hey, excuse me but that's pretty weird to me. So, if you've stolen my bra and panties, how many others have you stolen before me? And where do you think that sort of attitude to your feminine nature will lead you too? I think its far better to have it out in the open, to accept it in yourself, to experience it as a reality not just a distorted fantasy... and let others see that lovely soft and sensual side to you." "Look, I'm not someone who runs around stealing women's clothes okay? It's hard for a guy to find a way, or even to know how to express feminine feelings. The moment we do both men and women disapprove and make us feel weird or uncomfortable for expressing it... so guys hide it, girls just aren't interested in the feminine side of a guy, all they want is macho, successful studs... preferably with brains slightly smaller than their own. I mean, women complain we're too macho one minute then that we're not sensitive and feminine enough the next." "Well that's exactly why I want you to stay dressed as a girl Susan, so you can see what its like from both sides. I know what you're saying, but you only see it from your side... It's hard being a girl, its hard having feminine feelings sometimes and sometimes its hard not having them too! Look I don't want to be too mean to you but its time you faced your femininity... you see your mom has already told me about you... and the only real way to face it is to express it in front of other people... It's just two old friends of mine, they won't mind a bit. They'll have a little giggle at first then we'll all relax and be ourselves... you never know it might even be fun? They're fun ladies... they'll think it's a great hoot." "But I'll be a guy with make up in a pretty dress for Godsake. Its not exactly something you see everyday is it... they'll think I'm a total freak." "Umm. Well, for a start women are quite used to seeing people in pretty dresses, we don't actually think there is anything wrong with wearing something pretty... do you? I wonder... We don't actually think that wearing pretty clothes or making yourself look good with makeup makes you worth less as a person than wearing a pair of trousers... do you? Isn't that where your fear comes from... you think that being feminine makes you less of a person... Well Susan... Whether you like it or not... you look very good in a dress sweetie... and makeup ... done properly, really suits you. So where is the weird part again? You're going to dress well to meet some friendly women who will most likely be dressed in very similar clothes to you? Umm where's the weird part? Perhaps it's just the humiliation of your great male ego? Hey, sugar... I'm happy to tell you you're a girl too... just like me, why else would you want to dress in feminine clothes? Why else would you sleep in a nightdress willingly and then let yourself be fucked in your pretty things? You're a girl sugar no matter what is between your legs... I just want you to admit it and enjoy it in friendly company." Marian had me blind. No matter which way I looked at it she was right and every way I turned all I could see was myself running away trying to hide that part of my nature from everyone, including myself. I reached a real turning point in my life. Marian forced me to address the negative and secretive way I'd approached my feminine feelings... it was me that made them seem so bad, so freakish... it was me that was scared to admit to myself I liked being womanly sometimes... that being feminine was part of who I am... and trying to hide one of the most valuable parts of myself in favor of my fragile male side didn't make sense. I didn't want to become a girl or turn into a girl... I simply needed to accept that part of me really is a girl. A lot of girls have a masculine side these days... so why shouldn't it be alright for a guy to admit to his feminine side? "Okay... I'm extremely nervous... but... I'll do it... I mean I think I might do it... No... I will do it... You're right... I don't want to be a freak or see myself as a weirdo... I'm going to like feminine side... somehow, someway." "God Susan, knock me over with a feather! You seemed to be enjoying it yesterday... or was that just because it turned you on so much... It shouldn't be that hard to enjoy if you really do like that part of yourself... Look, I'll tell the girls that you'll be crossdressed because we had a bet and you lost or something okay... then they'll think you're being heroic and sensitive for putting up with my crazy ideas okay? Does that make you feel better... does that soothe your male ego enough... God Susan, even shy little girls grow up to be adult women you know, perhaps you're just a little slow developing." "Okay... thanks... yes I know you think I'm pathetic... but that will make it easier... you think its all so easy... but you've never had to do something like this have you?" "No, but then I'm already quite happy about being a girl Susan and if I wanted to be masculine... well... I don't, so it's not even an issue for me... you're the one who's having a problem being a girl." I couldn't believe how complicated it had all become. One side of me was happy just to think of my cross gender interests as a harmless fantasy... one that a lot of guys must think about or experiment with from time to time. But Marian had put it into a whole new perspective and what I found most unsettling was that she was right. If it's a part of you... then it is a part of you! Not just you're imagination... so what do you do about it? Keep it a dirty little secret and spend your life at the risk of being caught at any moment... of having people see it in the same negative way that you do? Or... as she suggests face up to it, bring it out into the open... on the surface that may seem like the most honest action to take but... there's no guarantee that other people will accept it... so what's the choice? To live with it as a secret or expose yourself to the world? The only answer I could see is when you come across the opportunity to be accepted... take it with both hands. Where's the harm if the people you expose yourself too are quite happy to accept it in you... and if some aren't well, then don't expose yourself to them if you can avoid it... if you can't avoid it... then stand up for yourself... be accepting of your nature... understand that you are your only real judge. You weren't put on this planet to please and fit in with everyone, just be yourself and let people accept or reject you for who you are... not who you would like to pretend to be... Does that make sense to you? "Well, Susan... don't just stand there lost in fright... put on your bra, choose some panties and get dressed. We've got things to do before lunch..." "Okay, you're right Marian... I'll do it... I have to accept it in myself... I'm just scared of meeting people dressed like a girl." "Well I think you look really cute in a dress... and this skirt and top will really suit you. I know you're scared but... hey they're just clothes honey... clothes that look good on you... be yourself... do you still want me to tell my friends I made you do it?" "No... You're right about that too... I'll face up to it... I know I can... I know I must." "Oh honey, that's so good to hear... I'm so proud of you... Hey, don't look so worried, you might even have fun!" I laughed with her... it was easy to laugh with her... even with her demands she made things very natural. I finished dressing in the skirt, top and heels she'd chosen for me... She did my makeup again and heaped as many compliments as she could on me as we headed downstairs to get some lunch ready for her friends. The thought of meeting her friends occupied my mind as we fussed around in the kitchen and lounge. Marian could see me getting more and more nervous, the truth was I was terrified... but not because I thought I looked stupid in these clothes... I didn't... I really didn't... they suited me... I looked like a 'normal' teenage girl... dressed a little too grown up for her age... but tastefully. It was the thought of how her friends would react, what they would think of me... I wasn't going to pretend to be a girl... just to be myself... a male that has a strong female side and is happy to express it... but given that I'd never done that before... I really wasn't sure how I was going to pull it off and look calm cool and collected about it. I was literally beginning to tremble with fear and Marian noticed... "Oh... I forgot to get enough cream... and Wine too and some more dips... God, we'll have to go to the supermarket first... time's getting on... put that stuff in the fridge and let's go before they arrive." Marian said. "What now, like this?" I said in surprise. "Yes, now... of course like that... how else? No one will even notice... it's just a supermarket... anyway it's a good chance for you to get over your fears first... Come on Susan... we have to go now if we're going to be back in time." Marian said as she grabbed me by the hand and pulled me towards the door. I didn't have the chance to resist... the next moment we were in the car and pulling out into the street... like any other rushed trip to the supermarket... but today... I was dressed in a skirt and top instead of jeans. The strange thing was that I did relax as we drove. It was just like any other trip and after having so much sexual relief in the morning... the clothes really did feel just like any others... except they were really comfortable... like a part of my body. When we arrived at the supermarket, we found a car park almost near the front entrance for once! Just when I would have preferred some obscure out of the way parking spot! Oh well, life can be like that sometimes! Marian didn't waste anytime as she launched herself out of the car calling for me to hurry. It was all such a rush that I didn't have time to think about how I looked or who was looking at me... I just trotted along side Marian, our heels clicking almost in time with each other. No one seemed to take any notice of us... or me... except the odd stray glance... I felt like I could have done this a thousand times before... so why hadn't I? The trip to the supermarket was as unremarkable as any other... the whole experience gave me an enormous sense of 'normality'... courage even. It was all so matter of fact. How I was dressed was completely irrelevant. We'd only been back about 15 minutes when the front door bell rang and shortly after Marians friends came into the kitchen... I had a pang of fear as they saw me and tried to look away... but my inner positively overcame it... I was determined to be happy about myself... if they freaked out... so what? At first, the two good looking women didn't seem to notice anything odd about me... Jillian even commented on my skirt saying she had one just like it... my height has always been a little on the small side for a male so Marians clothes fitted me very well... but then Ria began to notice... my hands... my shoulders... the unsure look on my painted lips... I knew the game would be up the moment I spoke so I didn't even try to hide my voice... "Hi I'm being Susan for the day... hope it doesn't freak you out too much." "What? Oh my God... you mean you're a guy!" Ria laughed in shock as she clasped her hand to her mouth. "Oh Marian you didn't tell us you'd have a pretty dandy boy here! You really are a guy... I didn't even notice at first... What a hoot! You look really lovely... Did you say your name is Susan... what's you're real name? Or is that a rude question to someone like you." Jillian asked. "Yeah... honey... you look really cute... So what brought all this on? Or is this another of your little games Marian... trying to freak us out." Ria said. "No, it's no game Ria... this is Martha's son Sam... You know how uptight she can be... he's just open enough to enjoy being a girl sometimes... So I encouraged him... I love it... I wish more guys were broad enough to express themselves... Martha doesn't approve, so I let him crossdress with me... doesn't she look great!" "Yeah... You do look really good Susan... Wow, I'm so impressed that you're so comfortable about it... I caught my husband wearing my things once... he won't even talk to me about it... wow this is so cool! I've always wanted to meet a real crossdresser. I wish Brian could meet you." Ria said as she launched herself towards me and embraced me with a huge hug and kiss. Then Jillian came over and gave me a gentle kiss on both cheeks and held my hands in hers saying... "Well, Susan... I'm really impressed too... It must take a lot of courage to express yourself this way... Thanks for sharing yourself with us honey... it makes me feel that not all men are the same... It's very lovely! And a real complement to women, thanks." Jillian said. I was very moved by her comments. The next moment Marian interrupted asking us what we wanted to drink and the conversation turned to much more mundane matters. That was it, that's all there was too it... These ladies easily accepted me, were even flattered that I was prepared to be myself with them. I couldn't believe how easy it was. We spent the rest of a delightful afternoon talking, eating and giggling together. Ria kept asking me about why I crossdressed, not to interrogate me, but mainly so she could understand her husbands fears about himself... she is such a lovely person... and Jillian kept giving me little feminine tips and suggesting types of clothes that would suite me. They really loved having me there as one of the girls... it made them feel good too, that was something I didn't expect. Ria started to plan on ways she could get her husband to admit to his feminine side. She was determined that he was going to crossdress for her! The poor man, I'd really set off a chain of events for him... hopefully a happy chain of events. Its like Ria really needed to talk to a guy who was comfortable about crossdressing so she could understand it a little better too. I had no idea that by me accepting it in myself others could actually benefit from it too. Eventually the afternoon came to a close and Ria and Jillian left giving me a huge hug and kiss and demanding that we all meet again very soon. It was one of the best afternoons of my life... the day I accepted myself in front of others... and all that time the clothes were just 'my' clothes nothing more. I loved every minute of it. Marian and I contented ourselves by snuggling up together on the couch and watching movies for the rest of the evening... two women just kicking around the house being friends. In all that time, I didn't have one sexual thought about what I was wearing... Don't get me wrong... I completely loved my clothes, they felt delicious, feminine and comfortable... but it was their sensuality that I felt... not their ability to make me want to come at a moments notice. Something had definitely changed in me... and I loved it, I loved being a girl, I loved being Susan. When it came time for bed Marian looked at me softly and said, "I'm so proud of you Susan... You're the first real guy I think I've ever met... If I was your age you'd have beat me off with a stick to stop me wanting you..." "Well, you wouldn't have to try too hard... I think you're the most amazing beautiful woman I've ever met too, you've freed me from myself, I can't ever thank you enough." I replied with tears in my eyes. We fell into a gentle embrace... "Why don't you slip into your nightdress and sleep with me tonight Susan... it's just between girlfriends... I need to feel you close to me." "I'd love to Marian..." We spent a beautiful night wrapped in each other's arms and when the morning came I chose my own clothes for a change and even did some of my own makeup. I stayed with Marian for the rest of the week and all that time I spent as Susan... Marian never demanded that I dress as a girl again... She even told me I could wear my boy's clothes whenever I wanted... 'If you really feel like dressing up as a boy!' But, I was happy to be with her as Susan. Jillian and Ria rang the next day and even sent me some roses as a thank you for being so open with them! They came over every couple of days and we all went out together, we went shopping, went out for dinner and even went to see a show together. Sometimes other people would notice me and just smile as they passed, other times people would look away in shock when they realized (I don't think I looked that bad at all!)... but I didn't care, I was surrounded by my female friends who thought the world of me. I could go on writing about the laughs, games and intimate conversations we all had but I'd prefer you to experience them for yourselves... in your own way... For me... the very best thing that happened was that later on Jillian introduced me to a girl of my own age called Gemma. We hit it off immediately, she is so beautiful... but was quite scared of guys when we met after some bad experiences in her past. I am the perfect boy/girlfriend for her and we've been seeing each other steadily ever since. The thing I like most about her is that she met me as Susan, I've never had to hide anything from her... she loves me for myself... and strangely as time goes on I don't feel the need to crossdress so much... its certainly no big deal to me and I still love it... it just feels different now that it's fully part of me. All of this came about through Marian's care, understanding and maturity... even my mom has accepted that if she wants to be a part of my life she has to accept my Susan side too and we've been getting on better ever since. All it really took was for me to accept and see that my femininity is a positive value in my life not a secret fetish I need to hide from people whose opinions I don't respect anyway. I hope you can do the same, I really do. Let's face it honey... you wouldn't be reading this story if you weren't already part girl, would you? Enjoy wearing your panties and pretty dresses, but enjoy it because you love and respect that part of yourself, because you love and respect women too. If you do your life could be as beautiful, rich and sensual as you would like to make it. Take good care of yourself and let yourself take good care of you... Love Susan ---