survey says
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The Survey Says... free porn video
SURVEY SAYS
Copyright 2003 by Scott K. Jamison
(This story may be posted to free websites and archives,
provided copyright notices are not removed or altered.)
"Get outta my way, you stupid freshie!"
Ham pushed the offending student out of his way, ignoring
the squeak of protest. Everyone knew seniors had right of
way, especially seniors on the all-state wrestling team.
Ham's next class was all the way on the other end of the
building, so he didn't have time for idiots in his way.
Powerful legs propelled Ham swiftly down the hall and then
up a staircase. So far, so good. He should arrive thirty
seconds before the bell, if there weren't any-
"Aw, damn!" There was a clot of people blocking the way,
and worse yet, it was all girls! Ham had learned the hard
way that you couldn't just push girls around the same way
you did wimpy guys, not if you wanted to stay on the team.
A bunch of them were holding pieces of paper and giggling,
which didn't mean much. It was Ham's experience that girls
would giggle at just about anything except his better
jokes.
"Hey, you wanna let a fella get through, already?"
One of the girls turned to him, a whole sheaf of papers in
the crook of her arm. "Hey, Hamilton, wanna have some fun?"
"Uh, Mary, kind of in a hurry here?" Ham had dated Mary a
year back, until she'd gotten too clingy. A guy needed to
be able to fool around a little, and she just wasn't going
for that. Fortunately, she'd found someone new since and
stopped being angry. Mary was digging through the papers.
"You don't need to fill it out *now*. We're just doing a
joke survey, for laughs. You know Galahad Givens?"
Ham snorted. "'Girly' Givens? Yeah. So?"
Galahad was a little wart in the junior class, a real
wimp with a bad skin condition and a really high grade
average. Ham had smeared the lunch special over Givens'
Dungeon Master's Guide once.
"Well, it turns out he's not gay like everybody thought. He
asked Darla Bede to the Winter Dance!"
"That little freak? Darla, the cheerleader captain? What,
he's nuts?"
Mary shrugged. "Apparently, he helped Darla a whole bunch
with her Shakespeare project for English Lit, and thought
that entitled him to a return favor. *Of course* she turned
him down, but it occurred to her that maybe he deserved
some kind of break, so she promised she'd *try* to find him
a date."
"And this has to do with why I'm going to be late to Trig
how?"
"Ah, here it is." Mary handed Ham a piece of light blue
paper, with the imprint of some girl's lipstick in the
upper left corner. "We're doing a survey to determine what
kind of girl should go with Galahad to the dance."
Ham rolled his eyes. "Like that's going to help. No sane
girl would ever go out with a shrimp like him when she
could have a shark like me."
Mary smirked. "Oh, I think this survey might do the trick."
"Fine." Ham stuffed the survey in his pack, and squeezed
through a gap that had opened when some of the girls
apparently realized they were going to be late too.
---
Ham kicked open the door of his room gently, so that he
wouldn't have to let go of his snack tray. A wrestler had
to keep his strength up, after all. Especially during an
epic session of homework. About an hour and a half in, Ham
noticed a piece of blue paper between two of his books. "Oh
yeah, that survey thing", hemused. "Well, I could use a
break."
There were a whole bunch of questions, some of which looked
pretty silly. Pretty elaborate for a joke survey. "What
Kind of Girl Should Go To The Winter Dance With Galahad
Givens?" was the title. Ham realized that he hadn't lined
up a date either, but with his looks and studliness, it
wouldn't be a problem. Why was there lipstick on the page
anyway? He rubbed at it a little, and some came off on his
hand. "Lessee. Hair: Stringy, greasy, straight to the
shoulders black. Eyes: Red and glowing. Skin: Scaly and
green."
Suddenly, Ham felt dizzy. Must have needed a break more
than he thought. He brushed his stringy hair out of his
sore eyes, the scales on his hand whispering over the
scales on his forehead. "Naw. That's just a little too
mean." Ham scratched out his previous entries, and wrote in
'redhead', 'emerald green' and 'silky smooth',
respectively.
For some reason, he felt a little better now. Ham quickly
filled in Amazonian proportions for Galahad's "perfect
date." After all, he's such a wuss, his date is going to
have to look after *him*." He scratched under one of his
breasts absently; good thing he was near his full growth,
because it was getting hard for him to find nice blouses
that fit. A bunch of questions on her tastes in clothing.
While leather fetish gear and PVC sounded tempting, Ham
figured "Girly" would probably pass out from shock if a
woman like that came up to him. Ham finally decided to go
with "modest but attractive" outer clothing over "sexy"
lingerie.
Man, he needed to stand up for a minute. Ham readjusted his
underwear. Sure, thongs looked really good on him, but they
rode up his butt something terrible. Maybe he should
finish his Trig now? Nah, this survey was just getting
interesting. Interests, huh? Ham wrote in "Wrestling"
right at the top of that space. Hey, if this imaginary babe
didn't go for Galahad, then Ham would have a good chance.
But she should probably have something in common with the
little geek too.
So Ham added "Dungeons and Dragons", "chess" and "Star
Trek" to the list. That reminded Ham, his elven princess
character hadn't seen much action lately. He needed to find
a campaign to play in, as long as it didn't conflict with
"Enterprise" night.
Scott Bakula was so sexy for an old guy! Ham blinked. He
thought a guy was sexy? Was he turning gay or something?
No, he didn't *feel* gay...some guys just naturally were
attractive, that's all. Like, well, Galahad. Sure that
skin condition was icky, but he had good bone structure
underneath. And he was so funny! Yes, Galahad deserved to
have a really hot girl for the dance. Ham filled in the
remaining blanks with the nicest things he could think of:
"expert cook," "sings like an angel," "sweet disposition,"
and under "Special Features" listed, "wants to have mad,
passionate sex with Galahad."
Just like her. Ham drooled at the thought of Galahad's
naked flesh entering hers. Maybe she should ask *him* to
the Winter Dance, before any of the other girls beat her to
it. It was all Ham could do to concentrate on her Trig
homework. Visions of Galahad kept drifting through her
mind.
She finally gave up, changed into her favorite nightie,
kissed the picture of Galahad Givens that she'd torn from
last year's yearbook, and went to bed. There was one
thought that haunted her, though, as she drifted off to
sleep. "Isn't Hamilton an awful silly name for a girl?"
FIN
Comments, questions? SKJAM!
Alma
- 03.05.2021
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