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My Lugubrious Phantasm of Paroxysm By Jill Tice (Send comments to [email protected] thanx!) Roses are Red, and Yea -- Violets are Blue? I wish that I could've been born as you! For life as a girl, for me would be a pearl, Lo, I sit languishing and bereaved; My castle-building artistry can conceive A fabricated realization not so naive! Ravishing beauty of hair so blonde, Alas! I wish I had a majestic magic wand: That some enigmatical power from beyond, Might through impenetrable means so true; Help to transmogrify this old me into you! 'Twas about three o'clock in the morn, And disconsolately doleful thus was I torn! The wind was blusteringly tempestuous and wild; As I reminisced on thy physiognomy and smiled, For thy voluptuously zaftig form is so very cute, Lifts my spirits from being all wretched and destitute, Into hopes of someday becoming part of a sisterhood! If soon mine catastrophe had come to be known, The people around me would see my cover was blown! And all throughout this piddling picayune ghost-town, Mocking and laughing at my bridal gown; Which I would exhibit and thus be arrayed, While effervescently I twirl and prettily dance ballet! But I am not the mademoiselle of pulchritude, I am just the forlorn soul praying to Saint Jude. But if one wish I might maybe perhaps possibly have, Would be to metamorphose into the bewitching better half! -The Ending-

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