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Misstrial (c) 2003 by Nom de Plume FORWORD: The missing months of the "Foul Boy" saga are revealed by the parties to a tumultuous divorce proceeding. *** "Ruth, we have your husband dead to rights on adultery and abandonment. If it weren't for what you did to your son, he wouldn't have a leg to stand on." Dexter Boyd looked across his cluttered desk at his client, wondering how she would respond. He had kept her off the stand during her criminal trial, but her divorce proceeding would be altogether different. "I did what I had to do," she said defensively. "Not good enough. His attorney is going to skin you alive for tricking your son into taking those drugs. Unless you have a very good reason for what you did, you are going to lose all parental rights, and any chance of a reasonable financial settlement." Mrs. Geiss nodded her head. "I know that. What I just told you is true. I had to make Elliott take those pills." "But why?" "My son was a late bloomer, but he was on the brink of puberty. Any day I expected his voice to start changing. What if that had happened while he was attending Francis Xavier as Elise?" "Couldn't you have just pulled him out of the school?" "And then what? Elliott Geiss was wanted dead or alive by half of Chicago. That's why I did this to him. I had to protect him." Boyd eyed his client thoughtfully. It might hold up, as long as she didn't overplay it, but they were entering a minefield. "Are you telling me that you decided to emasculate him to save his life?" "That's not what I said." "I suppose you only wanted to put off his puberty until his father got home to protect him." "Yes! That's exactly what I meant." "Of course. And if your husband hadn't stayed in Japan with his girlfriend for almost three months, the effect of the drugs would have been only temporary, am I right?" "You are a hundred percent right." "So you put Elliott on a dosage that would have been quickly reversible unless he was required to keep taking the drugs for a lengthy period of time for his own safety." "Yes, Mr. Boyd. That's exactly how it happened." Dexter Boyd got up from his desk. "We'll go over your testimony again before the hearing. Right now, I need to talk to your children." "Can't we keep them out of this?" "Not if you want to maintain custody. Getting that hung jury gives us a leg up, and I don't think the prosecutors would have lowered your bail if they were going to retry the case, but if Sarah and Elise say the wrong things, you could wind up losing them both." *** "I always wanted a little sister," Sarah said as she played with her long blonde hair. Dexter Boyd regarded his client's daughter with a jaundiced eye. Short of sending her out of the country, how was he going to get this ticking bombshell under control? "How would you describe your relationship with your brother?" "You mean when he was my brother? He was a twerp. A royal pain in the wazoo." "What was your reaction when your mother told you about her plans to disguise him as a girl?" "I was hysterical. The night she told me, I laughed so hard I thought I was gonna split." "What exactly did your mother say to you that night?" "She took me into my room and said, real serious like, 'Sarah, I'm going to need your help with something very important. Your brother's very life depends on it.'" Boyd scribbled something in his yellow pad. "Please go on," he said, grateful that she was holding nothing back. Plenty of time to trim her testimony later. "When I asked her what she meant, she said, 'We are going to give Elliott a makeover and send him to a different school as a girl.' Like I said, that was the funniest thing I ever heard. I laughed so hard, Mom got really pissed, and she told me to shut up. She said we had to pull together as a family, and that she would need my help. Then she told me I would be grounded for the rest of the year if I ever let anybody find out what we were going to do to Elliott." "What did she ask you to do, to help out I mean?" "Well, first we went through my clothes to find some things that might fit him. Mom said we'd buy him his own stuff, but that first I needed to give him an outfit that he could wear to church, to see if he could, you know, pass as a girl. I busted out laughing again, and for a minute I thought she was going to ground me then and there." "Then what happened?" "Mom broke the news to Elliott." "What did she say?" "I don't know. She took him into her bedroom. I tried to listen outside the door, but all I heard was Elliott shouting, 'No way! Dad would never let you do this to me!' Then somebody threw a bowling ball through the living room window, and we all ran downstairs." "What happened next?" "Mom told us to go to our rooms while she called the cops." Boyd made another note on his legal pad. "Did you talk to her again that night?" "Yes. She came into my room like an hour later. I was listening to a CD with my headphones on, and I didn't know she was in my room until she sat down on my bed." "What did she say to you?" "She told me to keep quiet while she whispered her plans." "Her plans?" "She said she knew Elliott was going to put up a fight, but that she had a way to chill him out." "Were those your mother's words?" "Well no, I can't remember exactly what she said, but it was like, 'I have some medicine that will make it easier for Elliott to accept what is happening to him.'" "Did you ask her what the medicine was?" "No. Mom used to be a pharmacist, so I figured she knew what she was doing." "I see. Did your mother say anything else to you?" "Just that she was counting on me to help. Oh yeah, and she told me again that I would be grounded for the rest of the year if I told anybody what we were doing to Elliott." Boyd shifted gears. "Tell me what it was like around your house once Elliott assumed his new identity." "I missed seeing him before he left for his first day of school, but I was there when he got home." She closed her eyes and thought back to that bright October afternoon. *** Sarah was waiting in the kitchen when Elise and Mrs. Geiss came in from the garage. "How was your first day at school, Sis?" she asked sweetly. "Up yours," Elise snarled. She tossed her backpack down on the kitchen table and collapsed into one of the Hitchcock chairs, carelessly letting her jumper ride up to her thighs. Mrs. Geiss tugged the dress down over Elise's knees. "Even when you're home, dear, remember to sit and act like a lady." Elise was too demoralized to protest. Even when her mother placed her favorite snack in front of her, a slice of pizza with a glass of root beer, she toyed with it as she tried to forget about her new life as a schoolgirl at Francis Xavier. "What did you have for lunch today?" Mrs. Geiss asked her. "Some kind of mystery meat next to cement potatoes." "Did you make any friends?" she asked gently. Elise snapped. "Give me a break. I didn't say squat to anybody all day, except the teachers who called on me, and even then I was afraid to open my mouth." "I'm sure you'll get used to it." "Used to what? Pretending that I'm a girl? How long do I have to do this anyway?" "Just until your father gets back. I've told him that as soon as he returns to Chicago, I'll go along with whatever he wants to do. Until then, you'll just have to go along with me. As I told you yesterday, unless you make a scene or call attention to yourself, nobody is going to guess that you're really a boy. If I were you, I'd have a little fun with this while it lasts." "Fun?" "Sure," Sarah chimed it. "This can be so cool. I'd love to go to a different school and pretend to be a guy for a while. It's like a book we just read in social studies, Black Like Me, about a guy in the sixties who darkens his skin and goes down south. You could be like a spy in the battle of the sexes!" Elise seemed to mull this over as she washed down a bite of pizza with her root beer. "You're on," she said suddenly. "Only to really get into this, I'm gonna have to be a skank." "What?" Mrs. Geiss asked as Sarah started to giggle. "I wanna nose ring, a tattoo, and some new threads...like something Gothic? Sarah, you got any black nail polish? God, I need a cigarette." Sarah was holding her sides laughing. "All right, girls, off to your rooms to do your homework," Mrs. Geiss said. "Elise, make sure you hang up your jumper if you want to put on your new jeans. And bring down that blouse so I can wash and iron it for tomorrow. Your new uniform won't be in until next week." She shook her head as her two daughters swatted at each other on their way up the stairs. *** Sister Delano was a few minutes early for her appointment with Dexter Boyd. After she took a seat in the small but elegant reception area, she flipped through a month-old copy of People magazine, noting with alarm the various states of undress revealed in photograph after photograph. Dexter Boyd's secretary ushered her into a small conference room, where the attorney was waiting along with a younger lawyer, an attractive Hispanic woman who introduced herself as Gloria DeSoto. "Gloria is the head of our family law practice. She will be the lead attorney in the representation of Ruth Geiss," Boyd explained. Gloria took charge of the interview after Boyd excused himself to attend to an urgent matter. "Sister, have you ever testified in court before?" she asked. "No. In fact, I don't think I have ever been in a courtroom. What, if I may ask, led you into the legal profession?" "My father was an abogado in Mexico City. He worked for a large multinational company, and eventually transferred to Chicago when I was twelve. I graduated from Francis Xavier the year before you got there." "Gloria DeSoto! I remember hearing about you from some of the other faculty. You went to Notre Dame on a full scholarship." "That's right, and then Georgetown law." Sister Delano was enraptured. *** Dexter Boyd was waiting for Gloria in his office after Sister Delano left. "How did it go, counselor?" he asked. "Your fears are confirmed. If we're foolish enough to put Sister Delano on the stand, she will single-handedly send our client to the Cook County poorhouse." "That bad?" "That woman has the worst hang-up about sex I have ever come across." "Details." Gloria read from her notes. "'I wish all young men were given a taste of what Elliott Geiss had to go through. Before he entered my class, he was a rude and unruly ruffian with a C- average, headed straight down the path towards Hell. Look at Elise now! A model student, perhaps the most gifted I've had in my class! Why? No testosterone!'" "Jesus!" "Wait, there's more. 'When she came to me and asked my permission to attend a school formal with a gay student, I went to the dance myself to observe them. She was so precious! Trying to dance in her fancy dress, so sweet and innocent compared to the real girls and boys with their raging hormones!'" "Say no more. Sister Delano is hereby scratched from our witness list." "You know what worries me?" "What?" "Elise may wind up back in Sister Delano's class." "As a very wise judge once told me, 'I cannot solve all the problems of this world.'" "Meaning?" "Meaning our job is to win a huge award for our client, and make sure she gets custody of her children. What she does with them is not up to us." "That bothers me." "Wait until you meet Elise's father before you pass final judgment." "Can't wait." Gloria glanced at her watch. "Got to run. I'm meeting Elise's doctor for a drink." "Go easy. You know how doctors feel about lawyers." "I'm not so sure how I feel about lawyers myself right now." *** Dr. Anne Saggett was sipping a Cosmopolitan at a small table near the Hyatt Regency bar. The hotel was crowded with conventioneers, and the surrounding hubbub provided a kind of privacy as she fielded questions from Gloria DeSoto. Gloria, possessed with a photographic memory, took no notes, which lowered the doctor's guard. "Did you examine Elliott Geiss?" "Yes. His mother called and explained that he was experiencing a reaction to female hormones." "Did his mother say why he was taking the hormones?" "She said it was a temporary situation, to help disguise him as a girl until the death threats against him went away. Like everybody else in Chicago, I thought he had fled the country. Mrs. Geiss asked me not to mention any of this Elliott during his examination." "Did you agree to that?" "Certainly. Although Elliott was technically my patient, I would be expected to honor his mother's wishes." "What did your examination show?" "My physical examination revealed profound atrophy of the testicles, the development of breast tissue, and a redistribution of his subcutaneous fat layer. Subsequent blood work indicated elevated levels of estrogen and progestin, trace levels of an anti-androgen, and the complete absence of testosterone. In layman's terms, he was well on his way through female puberty." "Are you saying that he was turning into a girl?" "Not quite. His genitalia were still indicative of a male, although for all intents and purposes, he had been chemically castrated." "Was any of this reversible?" "Elliott's prolonged exposure to the drugs in his system rendered him irreversibly impotent. In other words, his ability to father a child was permanently destroyed. However, it would still be possible to reverse some or all of his secondary female characteristics, and to reinstate his male attributes, through aggressive hormone therapy." "What would that do?" "Well, it would be similar to sex change therapy for female-to-male transsexuals. For example, he would regain a significant level of male musculature, and might be able to grow a beard. But he would never be able to father a child." "Did you present this alternative to Mrs. Geiss?" "I never had the opportunity. Before I could talk to her, she was taken into custody." "So you never discussed this with anyone?" "I didn't say that." "Who did you tell?" "Elliott's father." *** Gloria DeSoto talked urgently into her cell phone as she walked along Wacker Drive on her way back to the office. "Trouble," she said. "What kind of trouble?" Dexter Boyd asked. "It turns out Doctor Saggett tried to call Mrs. Geiss the day her husband got home from Japan. Evidently Mr. Geiss was in the house when the doctor called, cleaning out his desk and closet, and he answered the phone. Not knowing anything about the dispute between her patient's parents, she naturally told Elise's father about her diagnosis." "I always wondered how the D.A. zeroed in on Ruth so fast." "According to the doctor, he went ballistic when she told him, and threatened to sue her for malpractice before he hung up." "I think it's time for us to interview Elise." *** On Saturday morning, Ruth and Elise Geiss drove downtown to Dexter Boyd's office on LaSalle Street. It was a rainy March day, and Elise wore a jacket over her short skirt and tee shirt. Her bare legs were splattered by the time they ran two blocks from their parking lot to the lawyer's building. The weekend routine at Dexter Boyd's law firm was casual, although the lawyer himself was impeccable as always in a double-breasted suit, monogrammed white shirt, and matching tie and pocket square. By prearranged plan, Mrs. Geiss dropped off Elise and left to do some shopping on State Street. Boyd was waiting for his client's daughter in the conference room, and after Elise sat down they were jointed by Gloria DeSoto, looking more like a fashion model than a lawyer in her designer jeans and cashmere sweater. Gloria had never laid eyes on Elise, and she found it hard not to stare. Had she not known the truth, she would have sworn that their infamous witness was a normal teenage girl. Her hair, wet from the rain, was short and slicked back. Her pretty face had just a trace of makeup. Gloria could detect budding breasts pressing against her tee shirt, and a discreet glance under the conference room table confirmed that she was wearing a skirt. "You did a great job at Mom's trial," Elise said to Dexter Boyd. She was referring to the attorney's brilliant performance at her mother's criminal case, which had ended in a hung jury the week before. "Do you think she'll have to stand trial again?" Boyd flashed a wicked smile. "I sat next to the District Attorney at a bar dinner last night, and I have it on very good authority that the charges against your mother are going to be dismissed." "Great! Does that help with her divorce?" "Immeasurably. But we still have our work cut out for us. Your father is going to try to establish that she is an unfit mother, and he will use you to try to prove it." "What makes you think he really wants me and Sarah?" "He may not," Gloria answered. "But he knows that your mother does, and his lawyer will try to use that as leverage to negotiate a lower settlement." "How can I help?" Elise asked. "By telling me everything that happened after your father returned from Japan," Boyd said. Elise pulled a sheaf of papers and a spiral notebook out of her purse. "Would this help?" "What is it?" Boyd asked as he leafed through a few pages of neat handwriting on the stationery of an exclusive Chicago hotel. "Dad took my journal away from me when Mom went to jail and I moved into his hotel." "I know. He gave it to the police, and it was used as evidence in the case against your mother." "That's my Dad. Anyway, I had a lot of time to myself in the hotel, and I guess I got kind of hooked on keeping a journal, so I kept on writing." She pointed to the top sheet of paper. "The first thing I tried was one of those schmaltzy inserts you get with Christmas cards..." *** Merry Christmas from Winnetka! It's been another banner year for the Geiss family. Of course, the highlight of the year came in October, when Elliott put an end to the baseball season. It's been estimated that he personally cost Chicago's hotels, bars and restaurants almost fifty million dollars! The entire family has a standing invitation to spend a week in San Diego, all expenses paid. We won't be going there anytime soon. Ruth is behind bars, and George is fighting her efforts to get released on bail. It looks like she will be spending the Holidays in jail. George is still commuting to Tokyo, and between the demands of his job and his lovely young bimbo, he is busier than ever! You should have seen his face when he came home on Christmas Eve and saw his son dressed up as a girl. That's right, it's been an interesting year for Elliott. He managed to stay one step ahead of the death threats by enrolling in Francis Xavier Academy as Elise! He just loves going to school every day in a dress, and you should have seen him and his date at the Christmas formal. Of course, Sarah is enjoying having a little sister around the house, and she has been such a help to Elise with her clothes and makeup. Now that Ruth is in custody, Sarah is doing double duty around the house, and still maintaining her C average and very active social life! Sorry we didn't enclose our traditional family portrait, but as soon as we figure out whether Elliott is a boy or a girl, we'll send one off to you. Here's hoping the New Year is as full of fun and surprises at your house as it's been for the Geiss family! George, Ruth, Sarah, and Elliott/Elise *** "You have a gift," Dexter Boyd said dryly as Gloria stifled her laughter. She found herself becoming fascinated with Elise. "What else did you write about?" Boyd asked. "The next thing was my New Year's Resolutions." *** I, Elliott Geiss, hereby resolve to better myself in the New Year by doing the following: 1. I will not take it upon myself to interfere in any way with the Chicago Cubs, the Chicago White Sox, the Chicago Bears, the Chicago Bulls, the Chicago Black Hawks, or any other professional sports team in the United States of America. 2. I hereby resolve to give up the following: a. dresses b. skirts c. bras d. panties e. tights and/or stockings f. high heels g. lipstick h. earrings 3. I will pump iron until my body bulges in the right places. 4. I will cut my hair. 5. I will keep playing tennis. 6. I will take out Maddy McGann and get into her pants. *** "I don't get it," Gloria said. "From reading this, one would think for sure that you were going to go back to being Elliott." "That's all I wanted," Elise said with a sigh. "So what happened?" Gloria asked gently. "After Mom was arrested, Dad told us he would take Sarah and me to Japan. Sarah totally freaked. She said there was no way she was going to leave all her friends in high school, and she even threatened to kill herself. Dad finally agreed that until the end of the school year, she could stay in the house with Grandma Huhn, who offered to drive up from Omaha on Christmas Day. "Dad had a suite at a fancy hotel in Chicago, and he asked me if I wanted to stay with him. I was saved! He told me to change back into my guy clothes, and he couldn't believe it when I told him they were all gone. 'Thank God I came back when I did,' he told me. 'What kind of pussy are you turning into?' I scrounged around and found a sweatshirt and jeans that made me look halfway like a guy, and I moved into his hotel with him that night." A look of infinite sadness came over Elise's face. "The next morning, Dad came into my bedroom to wish me a Merry Christmas, and I could tell from his face the something was really wrong. I slept in the buff, and when Dad got a look at my body, he went nuts. 'What have they done to you?' he shouted. I guess I didn't want to admit to myself how far gone I was, but he kept saying, over and over, 'You turned into a girl! That bitch turned you into a girl!' "Even though it was Christmas, he spent all morning trying to find a doctor to look at me. Finally he got hold of my old pediatrician in Winnetka, and we drove out to his house that afternoon. Dad didn't say a word to me all the way out there. Because all the stores were closed, I had on my girl's jeans and the sweatshirt, and my hair was tucked up under a baseball cap. I felt like a total wuss when the doctor's son opened the door and took me for a girl, and I could tell that Dad was really pissed. "Dad insisted on standing there while the doctor had me strip down in his office. He poked my chest, and he spent a lot of time looking at my dick and balls. He asked me all kinds of questions about my diet and any medicines I was taking. I told him about the purple pills that Mom gave me to keep my zits under control, and he asked me to describe them. Then he told me to put my clothes back on, and he and Dad took a walk in the back yard. I looked through the window, and saw Dad arguing with him about something. The doctor just kept shaking his head. "Finally we got into the car and started driving back to Chicago. I asked Dad what the doctor told him, and he refused to answer me. He just kept staring straight ahead. When we got back to the hotel, he told me to order whatever I wanted from room service, and then he went into his bedroom and closed the door. "When I went to call room service, I noticed that one of the lines was already lit up. Dad was using the phone in his room to talk to someone. I was desperate to learn what was happening to me, so I picked up the phone and listened in. He was talking to his girlfriend in Tokyo. I'll never forget his words. 'The bitch fed him chemicals which castrated him. His balls have shriveled up and died, and he's growing a pair of tits. He'll never become a man. I no longer have a son.' "I hung up and sat there on my bed, sick to my stomach. I didn't want to believe it, but I knew that something strange was happening to me, and now I knew why. The pills that Mom made me take every morning turned me into a girl. "I was still sitting there when Grandma Huhn called and tried to talk to me. She said she spoke to my Mom, who asked her to wish me a Merry Christmas. I told her I hated my mother and never wanted to see her again. Dad overheard me, and after I hung up he gave me a watered-down version of what the doctor told him. "I kept screaming that I didn't want to be a girl. He told me it was too late, and yelled at me to stop being such a pansy! He said the only thing I could hope for was drugs that would make me look like a guy again, but I could never really be one. Then he hit the mini bar. I closed my door and cried myself to sleep. My whole life was like some horrible nightmare. "On Monday, Dad took me to a barber shop for a haircut. Then we went to a men's store to get me some normal clothes. I'll never forget the look on my father's face when I changed into my new clothes. One look in the mirror told me what was wrong. I looked like a girl with a short haircut pretending to be a guy. "We were walking back to the car when we passed a newsstand. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I saw the headlines in the morning paper." Elise pulled a news clipping out of her purse. NO BAIL FOR FOUL BOY'S MOTHER Chicago - Ruth Geiss, the Winnetka woman arrested on Christmas Eve for chemically castrating her 13-year-old son, will remain in Cook County Jail until her trial. Her husband, George Geiss, has refused to post the $500,000 bond necessary for her to be released on bail. Mrs. Geiss, who was taken into custody after her husband reported her to the authorities, is accused of administering female hormones to her son Elliott to enable him to pass as a girl named Elise Huhn at Francis Xavier Academy. According to her attorney, Dexter Boyd, Mrs. Geiss was trying to protect her son from death threats he received after his interference with a foul ball during the National League playoffs cost the Cubs a trip to the World Series. Elise folded up the clipping and put it back into her purse. "Dad had to drag me away from the newsstand. When I asked him if this meant I had to live in his hotel until Mom got out of jail, he shook his head and told me he was heading back to Japan at the end of the week, and that he wouldn't be back in Chicago until Mom's trial. "I asked him if that meant I got to go to Japan with him. He told me he didn't think so, that he had a lot of work to do over there and that there was no place for me to stay. At that moment I realized that he didn't really care what happened to me any more. As soon as he found out what was wrong with me, he just wrote me off. I guess the last thing he wanted was some kind of freak hanging around while he was getting it on with his girlfriend." Elise wiped a tear away from her eye and looked down at her hands. "So what did he do with you?" Gloria asked softly. "He told me he was sending me to a military school in Wisconsin. I lost it, and told him there was no way I was going to go. He told me to shut up and called me a sissy. He said what happened to me was my own fault, and that I must have been a real wimp to let Mom do what she did to me. "I don't know who I hated more, my Mom for the horrible thing she did, or my Dad what he said and did afterwards. At least Mom was trying to look out for me. Dad just wanted me out of his life." Her voice trailed off sadly, and she wiped away another tear. "Did you go to military school?" "For over a month. The worst experience of my life. Even in my uniform, I looked like a girl in drag, and I got called every name you could imagine: fag, fairy, femboy... one night a guy tried to give it to me up the ass in the shower, and after I kicked him in the balls he beat the shit out of me. I spent the night in the infirmary, and before dawn I put on some clothes I stole out of the janitor's closet and sneaked out a window. I walked for miles before I was able to hitch a ride back to Illinois." "Where did you go?" Gloria asked. "He went back to Winnetka," Dexter Boyd said. "His mother was frantic when he was reported missing, and on a hunch I drove out to the house and found him there." "What happened next?" Elise pointed to the spiral notebook on the conference room table. "I started writing my journal again." *** Friday February 19 I slept until noon in my old bed. When I woke up, for a minute I thought I was back at military school, until I saw the sleeve of one of Sarah's nightgowns. Grandma made me put it on last night when I went to bed, and I was so tired and so relieved to be back home, I didn't care. I am still stiff and sore from the beating I got in the shower. Doctor Saggett actually made a house call yesterday, she said it was the first one ever for her, and she told Grandma I have two bruised ribs but no broken bones, plus the shiner under my right eye. Dr. Saggett didn't say anything about my little titties or my dick and balls, which are still all shriveled up, and I was afraid to ask her. At least I don't have to go back to school until the swelling goes down. Grandma checked with my junior high, and I am so far ahead of the rest of the kids after a semester at Francis Xavier, it looks like I'll still be able to graduate with my old class. Saturday February 20 Grandma found my guy clothes in the attic and brought them down to my room. She told me she was sorry to be losing her granddaughter, but happy to have her grandson back. It felt great to put on my old clothes, except I have to admit to myself that they don't fit right anymore. My ass and hips got bigger, my waist is skinnier than ever, and my chest is embarrassing. Grandma and Sarah went to visit Mom, but they told me there was no need for me to go with them. Grandma knows how I feel about what Mom did to me. I'm even madder at Dad. When he found out I was back home, he didn't even bother to call. At least Mom still cares about me, according to Grandma and Sarah. Here's a newsflash: Saturday night, and Sarah stayed home to study for a big German test she has on Monday. She's walking around the house trying to memorize the names of plants and animals. Sunday February 21 Grandma and Sarah went to church, and I slept till noon again. We had a big breakfast when they got home. I'm finally starting to put some weight back on, in all the wrong places. Sarah asked me if I wanted to go to the mall with her in the afternoon. She has her driver's license now, and I think she just wanted to be nice, or maybe Grandma put her up to it. I said thanks but no thanks. I just can't face the outside world. Monday February 22 I am beyond public humiliation. A Chicago shock jock has offered me $500 to come into his studio wearing a dress. Sarah heard it on the radio on the way to school, and told me about it when she got home. Then another radio station started a poll, asking its listeners if I should be allowed to throw out the first ball at the Cubs' home opener if I wear a dress to Wrigley Field. The vote was like 95% in favor. The only good news about becoming a laughingstock is that nobody is threatening to kill me anymore. One newspaper columnist said I was now part of Chicago history, like Mrs. O'Leary's cow. Tuesday February 23 I think I had a wet dream last night. I haven't been able to think about sex for months, and then all of a sudden I wake up with soggy pajamas. It felt so good! I don't think I got hard, but I definitely got off. Here's the weird part: it happened when I was dreaming that I was Elise. In my dream, I was putting on a dress when I suddenly woke up with a wicked feeling between my legs. I spent most of the afternoon on the Internet, looking for sites that might explain why I had that dream. I was blown away by what I found. I found dozens of sites about hormones, support groups for crossdressers, raunchy pay sites featuring chicks with dicks, you name it. Welcome to my world. Wednesday February 24 Another dream about me being Elise. No little "o" this time, I think I woke up too soon, so I lay in bed and stroked what's left of me while I tried to remember what it was like to be her. Suddenly my whole body shivered and I had the most amazing feeling that went right down to my toes. I never got hard, and not much dribbled out, but it felt so good! Another afternoon on the Internet. I think I understand what is happening. I used to hate the thought of being a girl. Maybe it's because I know I can never be a guy again, but the part of me that used to fight it is gone. I guess that's what happens when you get neutered. I'm just glad I can still feel something down there. Thursday February 25 Mom's lawyer called today and asked to speak to me. His name is Dexter Boyd. He told me that Mom really misses me, but that she understands why I feel the way I do. I told him he has no idea how I feel. He said someday he would tell me what it was like to grow up colored in Mississippi in the sixties. I started to apologize, and he told me never to apologize for standing up for myself. It looks like Mom has a good lawyer. He told me the D.A. is going to try to put Mom away for a long time, and he said they are going to use the theme I wrote for Sister Delano, and the personal journal I wrote about my experiences at Francis Xavier, as evidence against her! I nearly died. There is so much personal stuff in there! I asked him how they got them, and when he told me that Dad gave them my journal, I couldn't believe it. How could he do that to me? Friday February 26 Sure enough, a woman from the District Attorney's office called today to tell me I might have to be a witness at Mom's trial. I just listened to what she had to say. She told me that she hoped that I wouldn't have to go on the stand, but that I might have to swear that the things I said in the theme and the journal were true. As soon as I got off the phone, I called Dexter Boyd at the number he gave me and told him everything they said to me. He thanked me and said if I was called as a witness, I should tell the truth, but to let him know if the District Attorney called me again. I think I know which side I am on now. Saturday February 27 Grandma and Sarah were getting ready to drive to the jail to see Mom when I asked if I could go with them. Grandma gave me a big hug and Sarah told me she was proud of me. I wore sunglasses and a ski hat along with my jeans and parka, and nobody looked twice at me. The jail was like something out of the movies. Mostly black people milling around, old ladies with screaming kids who must have been their grandkids, waiting to talk to the women doing time. It was so bad, I can't even write about it. Mom seemed surprised to see me, and she started to cry when I told her that I didn't hate her any more for what she did to me. She looks so pitiful in her prison suit, so much older. I just want her to get out of there and come back home. Sunday February 28 I had a different kind of dream last night. I dreamed that Mom, Sarah and I were sitting around the house in our nightgowns, just talking after breakfast, like we used to do on Sunday mornings when I was Elise. I don't know why it took me so long, but it finally dawned on me today. I miss all the little things that Mom used to do for me when I was Elise. Even though I hated the things she made me do at the time, she was doing it all to protect me. It was like us against the world, and it was good to know that she was on my side. Sarah was too, even if she was a pain. I even miss the way she used to tease me when we were sisters. Most of all, I miss Elise. There, I said it. The question is, what am I going to do about it? Monday March 1 When I woke up this morning, I knew what I had to do. After Sarah left for school, I told Grandma Huhn my plan. She asked me if I was really sure, and when I told her that I was, she started to break down. I guess I didn't realize how hard all this has been on her, and when she told me how happy she was, I knew I was doing the right thing. All of Elise's clothes were taken away as evidence by the police, so Grandma spent almost an hour measuring me from top to bottom, and then she drove off to the mall. I hear her opening the garage door! Tuesday March 2 (No entry) Wednesday March 3 Elise Huhn is back! I was so busy yesterday, I didn't have time to describe her day. First, let me say that it is a mistake for a girl to let her grandmother pick out her clothes. Not having much experience at being a girl, my mistake was understandable. As I write this, I am wearing pearls and a twin set. My pleated skirt covers my knees. Nylons and black flats complete the look. Whatever! I love the feeling of silk and lace against my skin, and the way my skirt flips around when I move. When I turn sideways and look in the mirror, I am proud of my tiny waist and the breasts pressing against my sweater. I love how it feels when I sit down and cross my legs. My feet hurt in these shoes, but they look cute on me. My outfit may be lame, but Grandma definitely came through on my wig. My hair is still too short to style, but you'd never know it. Elise is now a blonde. With a little pink lipstick and some smoky eye liner and shadow, she's almost hot. Ask the guys who kept hitting on me and Sarah when we went to the mall after she got home from school. You should have seen the look on my sister's face the first time she saw me! She started jumping up and down and hugging me, and when I told her I wanted to get some jeans and sneakers, we piled into the car and shopped until we dropped. Grandma had a great dinner waiting for us when we got home, and the three of us sat around the table and talked for hours about how great it was to have Elise back. Thursday March 4 Mr. Boyd called and told me that Mom's trial is going to start on Monday. He said he wanted to stop by tomorrow and talk a little strategy. For some reason I felt like telling him about Elise, and he said he was looking forward to meeting her. I spent the day helping Grandma clean up the house. My bruised ribs are totally healed, and Grandma told me it's almost time for me to go back to school. She asked me how I would feel about going back to Francis Xavier. I told her no way, but the more I think about it, it doesn't sound so bad. Friday March 5 Mom's lawyer came by this afternoon. I wore jeans and a sweatshirt, but with my wig and makeup, I was all girl. We spent a lot of time talking about a pro surfer who likes to dress up like I do. He was up on murder charges in Hawaii, and after he switched places with his girlfriend at the trial, the jury was so confused that Mr. Boyd got him off. Maybe Mom has a chance after all. He asked me a lot of questions about my life and my relationship with Dad. Then he asked how I would feel about coming to the trial as Elise. I told him I'd do anything I could to help Mom. He asked me if I had my old school uniform, and I told him no. Sarah overheard him, and she said we could borrow Jeannie's old uniform again. Mr. Boyd told me not to visit Mom on Saturday. He said the prosecutor would try to twist around anything she might say to me about my testimony. Saturday March 6 Sarah and I had some fun with Grandma. We went to the mall and Sarah helped me pick out a black leather skirt that came almost to my ass, a black leather vest, black boots, and some funky jewelry. A neat lady at a cosmetics counter made me up like a Gothic princess, and then we found a nasty spiked wig. A fake tattoo completed the look. When we walked into the house, Grandma pretended not to notice. Then we all burst out laughing, and Grandma insisted on taking us out to a fancy restaurant, where I turned a lot of heads. Who knew Grandma was so cool? Sunday March 7 We went to church today. It was snowing when we left, and I wore a dress that Grandma bought me. Even with pantyhose my legs were freezing when I got out of the car. I forgot all about that part of being a girl! I prayed that Mom would get out of jail, and that she and Dad would get back together, although I know that will never happen. On the way out, I saw Ben out of the corner of my eye, he stared back at me and I think he might even have smiled, but it could have been my imagination. We stopped by Jeannie's house on the way home, and Sarah picked up her old Francis Xavier uniform while Grandma and I waited in the car. It suddenly hit me that I am going to appear in public tomorrow dressed up as a girl, and that everybody will know that I'm really a guy. I was a wreck for the rest of the day. Monday March 8 I couldn't sleep last night. I got up early and got dressed for Mom's trial. Somehow the old familiar Francis Xavier jumper and tights made me feel better, like an old friend. Maybe going back there wouldn't be so crazy after all. Sarah is taking the day off from school to drive me to the courthouse. Grandma just called upstairs and told us we'd better get going. *** Dexter Boyd put down Elise's journal and sat back in his chair. "You were a terrific witness," he chuckled. "I'll never forget the look on your father's face when you walked into the courtroom." "I'm just glad I helped Mom beat the rap." "How would you feel about a change in character?" Gloria and Elise looked at each other and shrugged. "As the head of our family law department, Ms. DeSoto will be handling your mother's divorce," Boyd explained to Elise. "I've stayed involved because of my knowledge of the facts, and because I have a certain flair for strategy and tactics. What this case needs is a little disinformation and deception." *** Unlike Mrs. Geiss's criminal trial, her divorce proceeding was off- limits to the television cameras, although the courtroom was crowded with paparazzi and the curious. Gloria DeSoto, looking crisp and professional in her tailored gray suit, sat next to Mrs. Geiss at one table, while at another table a few feet away, Mr. Geiss sat next to his lawyer. The atmosphere was frigid, and the early going was just as Gloria had anticipated. Mr. Geiss was adamant that his wife had proven herself to be an unfit mother, and he demanded custody of the children. Gloria did a good job of chipping away at him, turning the court's attention whenever she could to his own adultery, but the tide was running against them. Towards the end of a long day on the stand for her client's husband, she began to set the trap designed by Dexter Boyd. "Is it your testimony that you demand sole custody of both of your children?" "Yes, I've made that perfectly clear." "How would you describe your relationship with your daughter?" "Well, of course Sarah is a typical teenager, and we've had our ups and downs as I've set the proper limits and boundaries for her, but overall she is developing into a fine young woman, and I would say our relationship is excellent." Mrs. Geiss rolled her eyes but kept quiet. "And how would you describe your relationship with your son?" George Geiss had been well primed for this question by his attorney, a prematurely gray divorce specialist whose courtly manner concealed the disposition of a shark. "Well, Elliott has been through a lot at the hands of his mother, but I've done everything in my power to protect him. At least I was able to get her to stop poisoning him, but not before she caused him permanent damage. It pains me to talk about it." "When is the last time you saw your son?" "At his mother's trial." "And how would you describe his appearance?" "You know very well that he had on a dress. He told me that his mother conned him into wearing it to help her get off," he lied smoothly. Forsaking the obvious hearsay objection, Gloria baited the trap. "How much time did you spend with him that day?" "As soon as he finished testifying, he was whisked out of the courtroom by my wife's sleazy lawyer." The judge, a middle-aged woman with a weary smile, struck his answer from the record before Gloria had time to object. "Thank you, your Honor," Gloria said. "And when was the last time you saw him before that day?" "Well, it was before I returned to Japan in January. Unfortunately, the demands of my position require me to live full time in Tokyo, and although Elliott desperately wanted to get away from his mother, we both agreed that it would be best for him to remain in the U.S." "I see. Where did he stay?" "At the Gattling Military Academy in Wisconsin." "How long did he stay there?" "I gave him my permission to leave after he got into an altercation with one of the other boys. I told him he could stay with his grandmother and sister in Winnetka until I could make arrangements to relocate them." Gloria marveled as the lies rolled off his tongue like honey. "When did you last return from Japan?" "On Saturday." "Did you make any effort to contact your children?" "I placed several calls to the house, but their mother is obviously biased against me, and I can only assume that she failed to put them through. As soon as this trial is over, I'll sort out their travel arrangements." Suddenly a girl seated in the back row of the courtroom got up and ran towards the witness stand. She was dressed in a black leather skirt that came almost to her ass, a black leather vest, black boots, and funky jewelry. Gothic makeup, nasty spiked hair and a spider tattoo added to her outrageous appearance. George Geiss recoiled as she approached him. "Daddy!" she cried. "I can't believe you're taking me with you to Japan!" "Is this your daughter?" the judge asked. "No, its...its my son," George Geiss blurted out. His lawyer was shouting objections as the girl blew a bubble and popped it in her father's face. "Your mother put you up to this!" Geiss exploded. "I most certainly did not!" Mrs. Geiss shouted. The judge slammed down her gavel. "Counselor, did you have anything to do with this?" she asked Gloria DeSoto. "Your honor, I didn't even recognize him." An artful dodge, and technically true. Mrs. Geiss stood up. "Your honor, I had no idea that my husband felt so strongly about taking Elliott to Japan with him. Under the circumstances, perhaps it's best that they be together." Her husband responded before his lawyer could cut him off. "No way! You keep the lousy fruit!" Elise turned and ran into her mother's arms. *** Dexter Boyd hosted a celebratory dinner a few nights later in a private room at his club on the Gold Coast. Elise had never seen so much crystal and silverware in one place, and she hesitated before every course until Grandma Huhn told her just to watch what she was doing. Gloria overheard her and asked if she could follow along too. Elise was radiant in a blue silk dress which, for the first time in her young life, revealed a hint of cleavage. Sarah sat next to her, and together they made as pretty a pair as has ever been seen in Chicago. Their mother was wondering how she was ever going to keep up with the two of them when Boyd tapped his glass and rose to offer a toast. "Something occurred to me just now," he said. "My first job as a lawyer was in the US Army JAG corps. I was stationed in Germany, and I picked up the language. Did you know that Geiss is the word for goat?" "What a horrible thing to say!" Grandma Huhn muttered. "Elliott Geiss was a goat, ask any Cubs fan. But not any more. Does anybody know what Huhn means in German?" Sarah started to giggle. Three years of German finally paid off. "It means chick," she said. By the author of The Jessica Project.