Comdex, Clothing, And Confusion, Part 2 Changes And Memories free porn video

Comdex, Clothing and Confusion, Part 2 ? Changes and Memories Beth Williams Copyright 2003 I would like to thank ALL the comments on my first story. I will take the criticisms to heart. I may not agree, but I will keep them in mind. I would like to add the following: Yes, I understand that few men are "passable." However, I typically spend 10-24 days a year "en femme." Much of the story is autobiographical. I am indeed 375 pounds and 6' tall. I am a computer geek. I am and have been deeply involved in business. To date, I have never been read, I have shopped at Catherine's, the Avenue, Nordstrom's, Macy's and Lane Bryant - Including trying on clothes. I have attended church as Beth. I have had a manicure and pedicure at "La Belle" day spa in San Jose without comment... My wife (who is as supportive in real life as she is in the story) has accompanied me to Los Angeles, Disneyland, and in gambling in Lake Tahoe and Reno. And, for those skeptics, on Halloween, several years ago, I purchased Enfamil (baby formula) en femme, late one evening - after a day of gender bending. The checker was a friend - who did NOT recognize me until prompted. Later she told me that as I left the supermarket, the manager on duty remarked how sad it was that a woman so "pretty" was so LARGE. My friend told the manager, "that's no woman, that's a man!" The manager did not believe her. Three days later, I entered the store, only to have her yell, across the concourse, "There She is, THAT's the one I told you about!" The manager would not look me in the eye... Not even two years later... So... the moral of the story is this: Yes, most cross dressing men are rather lacking in their presentation, yet, there are some, who for whatever reason transcend the ordinary, and achieve the sublime... That has been my fortunate experience - and I will frankly admit, I don't understand why. Thanks for the comments. I truly appreciate the feedback. Beth Note: While this may be biographical, most names have been changed to protect the guilty... :) Monday, November 26, 2001 Was it only two weeks? My life had been turned upside down, inside out (or outside in), and molded into something I no longer was sure I recognized. All I knew for sure was to shut up, sit down, and hang onto the ride of my life. I asked Hal what was the agenda for the day. ?Well, I thought Annie might show you around and maybe help with leasing cars for the two of you. What do you fancy in a car?? ?I don?t know, maybe a Passat?? I replied. Hal looked over his morning paper, ?a Passat? Don?t you think you should get something, I don?t know, sportier? I was thinking maybe a BMW or Jag.? ?Hon, you gotta remember, I have to fit in the damn thing. Volkswagen?s have more room than most cars.? ?Well, would you at least look at the BMW?? He asked. I began to better understand something about Hal. He truly did not view money the way normal people do. It had become another way of counting points in the game of life. Money was less important than projecting the proper image; ultimately image was worth more ?points.? ?Okay, okay, but does that include Annie too?? ?Of course. But try to do it early, I was hoping you might make it to the office around lunch time,? he wiggled his eyebrows at me and gave me his infuriating smile, ?and maybe I can show you around our apartment.? Great, fast cars and probable sex on my first day at work - I hoped I?d survive the process. I hadn?t told Hal, but while his lovemaking technique was great, it had caused pain where the surgeries had not yet healed ? and not till the next day had I realized just how tender my wounds still were. Hal came around the table, gave me a quick kiss, and headed out the door. ?Jeeves, will you drive Kate and Annie this morning?? He asked. ?But of course Master Stevens,? was the inevitable reply. I wandered about the house (HOUSE?) until it was time to go. It was a crisp, snowy late fall day. I enjoyed the scenery as Jeeves drove us to BMW of Peabody. It was comical really. When we arrived, Jeeves opened the doors for Annie and I. The sales manager ignored Annie and I, and zeroed in on Jeeves. Jeeves deferred to me. The sales manager began speaking about the interior and amenities. I started asking performance questions. He continued talking about available colors and fabrics; I was looking under the hood. He could not get out of the mindset that a woman could possibly look or be interested in the technical aspects of a new car ? especially not a woman who could afford a BMW. After his patronizing presentation, I slipped into ditz mode and told him thanks, but I really thought I?d prefer one of those cute Beetles ? you know the kind with the flower vase. But I couldn?t make up my mind whether to get the TDI, or the 2.0 L engine. I preferred the economy of the diesel, but liked the wider availability of the gas engine. It was priceless; he suddenly realized a sale was going to slip through his fingers. He began to stutter. I switched to rich bitch mode. And asked did he know the specifications on his cars or was he going to continue to waste my time talking about the appearance. His mouth snapped shut. I really did want a new Beetle ? I liked the one I?d purchased for Lisa, instead after he decided to answer my questions, I wound up purchasing a car that I knew would please Hal. An Oxford Green M5 with all the bells and whistles. The acceleration and power curve was incredible. It really was more car than I wanted, but I decided to make the ?sacrifice? ? some sacrifice... Needless to say, Annie was more than happy to follow suit ? in her case in topaz blue. Cendar had a corporate account, and the paperwork was easily taken care of. Jeeves Left Annie and I to our new toys. We left the dealer and traveled to the office; and never once did we exceed the speed limit ? NOT! Cendar?s main office complex is in Burlington. The drive took about 25 minutes. We pulled into a parking lot in front of a modern looking glass and steel 5 story building. Annie mentioned we?d have reserved spaces, probably by tomorrow. Of all that had happened today, I think that was the most impressive. Annie and I entered the building. The first thing I noticed was the security desk manned by two armed and uniformed guards. Annie placed her hand on a scanner, and the guards verified her identity. ?Good morning Mrs. Stevens,? one said as he electronically opened the door. We trooped through the entry way, and took an elevator to the fifth floor. Annie led the way to ?my? office. In the outer office Abbey was packing her personal effects. I stopped and talked to her. ?Thank you for be willing to relocate. Linda is REALLY going to need your help. You do know that this is a promotion, don?t you?? ?A promotion?? she asked. I explained that she would be heading up the HR department for me in California. There would also be an accountant/comptroller from the office going with her. I asked her if she had any suggestions. She asked if George Minnelli could be spared. I had not a clue. I turned to Annie, she gave me a minimal nod, and I told Abbey that might be possible. So the California management team was coming together, Linda would have Liz Rodriguez, Abbey, and George Minnelli. Additional staff would be hired out of the California office. I went into my office, and closed the door. I just wanted to explore for a bit. There were three doors. The one from reception, one into Abbey?s ? now Annie?s office, and one into what proved to be a private suite, a combination bedroom, lounge and bathroom. This room opened into Hal?s office. There was a closet, which contained several changes of clothes, and the inevitable hand scanner and PIN pad. Looking closer, I discovered that the entire room was reinforced, armored, and I presumed there was a ?secret passage? out of the room. Returning to the office, I sat down at my desk; it was a magnificent oak desk with a return on the left side containing a large flat LCD screen. The left hand drawer contained a heavy leather bound journal. I opened it, and found Kate?s diary, written in a neat precise cursive script. The first date was March 1, 2001; the last date was September 10th 2001. I set the journal aside, and continued my explorations. It was hard to escape the sensation of a ghost hanging around. Everywhere I looked, I saw myself, and knew, it was actually Kate. It nearly unnerved me. At the estate, all the miscellaneous personal possessions, like makeup, or even a tooth brush had all been either mine, or brand new. Here, it was almost as if Hal had preserved it intact from when Kate was last here. Nothing seemed to have been touched. I opened the thin central drawer and found the usual debris found in all desk drawers; a tube of lipstick (honey rose), a bottle of hand lotion, half a pack of Trident gum, it was beginning to really depress me. I turned to the credenza behind the desk. There were pictures of Hal and Kate, Kate and what I believed were her parents, and Kate with Hal and two twin little girls. The later was framed in black. In the cabinet of the credenza were picture albums. On the bookcases in the office were a series of awards, trophies, and pictures. Kate?s version of an ?I love Me? wall. I was struck with a sense of her humility. The awards were, if anything understated. The emphasis seemed to be on her humanitarian activities. I called Annie, and asked who the little girls were, and for the first time, she looked at me with total shock and grief. ?You know, it?s so easy to forget around you. I suppose, like Hal, I look at you and forget reality. Those little girls were Kate?s babies. They died 10 years ago, an accident while the nanny was taking them on an outing.? She began to sob, ?they would have been 14 next February.? I tried to pull her into a hug, but Annie pulled away, ?don?t touch me!? She screeched. ?Annie, what can I do?? ?Nothing,? she spat at me. ?Just leave me alone for a while.? She left and returned to her office. I resumed my explorations, I opened the first file drawer; it seemed to contain mostly personal files. I found files like ?birthdays,? ?anniversary?s,? ?stocks,? ?properties,? and other documents relating to Kate?s personal wealth. The second file drawer contained what were clearly Kate?s ?work? files. Meticulously organized, the files were labeled ?immediate,? ?30 days,? ?60 days,? ?90 days,? ?six months,? ?nine months,? ?one year,? ?two years,? and ?undefined future projects.? There were also files relating to specific projects. Several stood out in my mind. These included; ?employee education,? ?children?s education,? ?internal medical benefits,? ?hiring goals,? ?Yenta,? ?health and retirement,? and ?Gowns R Us.? Intrigued, I pulled the ?Yenta? file and began to read it. Inside Kate had detailed the romances arranged by her. There was a joy expressed in the writing, truly she found this to be an exciting hobby ? one that benefited the company to be sure, but still a hobby. I resolved to spend much time studying these files over the next few days. I called Abbey in and asked her for an organizational chart, and she returned half an hour later. Annie entered with Abbey and with no hint of her earlier grief started to explain the organization of Cendar. ?There are four major business units. The first was our core business in the early years. Cendar Software has specialized in developing database products for the last 20 years. Our forte has been developing products that integrate different hardware platforms. In the last 5 years or so we have been developing our professional services division; there is a tremendous market for integrating varying databases to a common interface. The second division is Cendar Security. Security focuses on developing strategies and techniques to insure the integrity of computer systems. This covers everything from physical security to disaster recovery. The third division is mine,? she smiled, ?Cendar clothing is the division organized to exploit the heuristic programs we developed to create individual patterns for women?s clothing ? though I believe we will be expanding to men?s and children?s clothing soon. Projections of revenue are staggering. Finally, the division you have done the most to create. Cendar Medical is basically a research and development organization at this time. There are two principal products under exploration. The first is a diagnostic software program. It is designed to take the medical test information that a general practitioner would look at and provide a diagnosis of the patient?s condition. The basic model is complete and is being tested in parallel with doctors throughout New England. We have letters of intent from the Defense Department and from the World Health Organization to purchase the package once it is certified by the FDA. The military is interested in using it to upgrade the medical services a corpsman can provide, while the WHO is interested in using it in third world countries. The second product is a suite of remote telemetry devices that are designed to work with the software, but also to stand alone. The first level of instruments provides: blood pressure, respiration, heart rate, basal temperature, a basic blood workup, and a basic urine workup. A second level of instrumentation is designed to work with a trained technician. At that level the instruments provide the added tests: blood gases, chest or limb x-ray, lung volume, and a complete blood chemistry analysis. We?re betting that with this information, a single physician/technician can review and treat 5 to 10 times the number of patients a physician can currently accommodate. The results will be lower medical costs, greater diagnostic accuracy, and broader access to health care in undeveloped countries.? Hal entered, and asked if we were ready for lunch. He escorted Annie, Abbey and I to the 4th floor cafeteria. The food was not your typical ?cafeteria? food. I thoroughly enjoyed the chicken continental cordon bleu. ?Hal, you know it?s going to take some time to get up to speed here don?t you?? I asked. ?Well, actually, I hadn?t thought too much of it,? he replied. ?After your performance at Comdex, I assumed you would be able to hit the ground running.? ?I plan to do just that, it?s just there is so much to learn. And there?s so much I?ve already started. I expect to return to California this week, along with Annie and Abbey to work on the new offices. Then there?s the entire month of December and the holiday?s to prepare for.? ?Okay, I can see that, what are you suggesting?? ?I thought I?d spend the rest of today gathering files I?ll need to understand my role and function in Cendar. Then after work, I want to sit down with Vikki and discuss the holidays.? Hal interrupted, ?you should probably get Hermione involved.? ?Oh? I suppose that would be okay, why?? ?Ahh... even I keep forgetting. Hermione is our interior decorator, and she has quite a private practice. She makes more in a year than Jeeves.? ?Fantastic, that would work out great, ?cause I also want to get started on rooms for my kids and Linda. There?s all those empty bedroom suites on the second floor. And, do you suppose we should offer to take in the Mooney?s and their kids until they find a place?? ?Kate, are you sure you?re up to that many people?? Hal asked. ?Oh sure, I love the holidays! The more the merrier!? ?In that case, why don?t you invite your young lovebirds also?? He asked. ?Oh my, what a wicked idea,? I giggled at the thought. ?On the other hand it just might be what two socially clumsy nerds need to get things started on the right foot.? ?Okay, planning tonight, calls tomorrow, and shopping tomorrow for the kids rooms. Then on Wednesday, I?ll fly out to California, we?ll finalize the organization, by the way, Abbey suggested George Minnelli for the finance slot, do you have any suggestions?? ?No, George is due for a promotion. He?s a bit young, but should be a good choice. Abbey suggested it?? He asked, leering at her, and then he began humming ?Matchmaker, Matchmaker...? Abbey of course blushed from head to toe. Annie broke the tension of the moment by talking about the new cars. Hal just had to go see them, so we all trekked down to the parking lot. Annie asked if he could pick which belonged to her, and which one was mine. Without hesitation, Hal pointed to the blue one, ?that has got to be Annie?s,? he said. Annie clapped her hands, ?right on the money Hal!? He walked over, crunching through the rapidly melting snow, and began looking at my green car, nodding approvingly at the ?extras? I had selected. ?So, you?ll be gone from Wednesday till when?? ?I thought I?d try to be back by the middle of next week, why?? ?Oh, not much, just some custom items I wanted to add to your car.? ?Hal what are you thinking?? ?Just let me surprise you this once,? he said. I shuddered to think about what he might be up to. ?Okay, but try to keep it reasonable, puhleezeee,? I wheedled. We returned to the office, I gathered up the diary and project files and placed them in my briefcase ? along with the initial briefing books Hal had provided. I had Abbey make the calls to the Mooney?s, Hiram, and Janey. Then requested she set up a meeting with George, herself, Abbey and I for early the next morning. I asked Annie to lead the way, and returned to the estate. Vikki and Hermione were glad to meet and plan the Holidays. We decided the estate should have a Curier and Ives look for the holidays ? very traditional, very Victorian. We selected the 21st for a Christmas party for Cendar?s senior management, and Saturday the 22nd for an employee open house. I asked for carolers and musicians a la Dickens, and they assured me it would be no problem. I think I caught both of them by surprise when I asked that bedrooms be prepared. But they were TOTALLY flabbergasted when I gave them the list. There was: 1 for the Mooney?s, 1 for their daughters, and 1 for their son; 1 for Hiram, and 1 for Janie; 1 for Tim and 1 for Lisa, and 1 for Linda. I told Hermione that Tim, Lisa and Linda would be visiting frequently. They were relatives from California that I had been staying with since 9/11. I told here it was important to me that they be treated special. I suggested they try for something appropriate to each, and mentioned Tim was into computers, science, and technology; and Lisa was into medieval life, in fact had joined SCA the previous year. Hermione?s eyes lit up at the thought of a teenaged girl?s renaissance bedroom, and I quickly let her take over. After a brief dinner, I retired upstairs, and I crawled into my jammies called Linda. Now here?s something funny. After many years of longing to be a woman, and wearing a nightgown whenever possible, I found my pajamas more desirable than the silk nightgowns folded in my drawers. Maybe it was the pain from the surgeries ? and a desire to avoid any ?romantic? activities, but I don?t know. I asked Linda about it, and predictably, she just laughed. ?Now you understand why I varied what I wore to bed. Sometimes I wanted to be sexy, sometimes cuddly, and sometimes just to be comfortable. You?re learning something every woman knows. Clothes DO make a difference, and all but the densest of men understand those differences without thinking about it!? We spoke of other things; the kids finishing up for the winter holidays, spending Christmas in New England, my new car, and Annie?s strange reaction. After a few endearments, I told her goodnight, and then curled up with my Heinlein book, and pain meds. Soon I was asleep. Tuesday, November 27, 2001 I woke early, showered, and tried to decide what to wear for the day. When you have a closet full of clothes and accessories ? all of which fit superbly ? it can be a daunting task; especially to one who has never had that many clothes before. I finally chose a nice black wool suit over a pale pink silk blouse. Black low heel pumps, diamond stud earrings and a black Hermes Birkin bag pulled together the look I wanted to project. I grabbed my coat and a black Hermes pashmina scarf and headed out the door. I drove myself to the office, and met with Annie, Abbey, Hall and George. I suggested using Cal Fed as the bank for California operations, and reserved the plane for the following day. Abbey informed me the Mooney?s, Hiram, and Janie would all be glad to stay at the estate, and would all be arriving on the 15th. With that I concluded the meeting. Annie asked if she could talk to me. We went into my office, and shut the doors. ?Beth, I?m sorry about yesterday,? she explained, ?what I didn?t say was my mother was the nanny. Kate and Hal became my surrogate parents ? my father died when I was little. Kate comforted me while I comforted her. Hal and Kate took me in and raised me from the time I was 15. It is just so easy to mix you and her up. You are so much like her it hurts. Yesterday, you were just Kate, and when you broke that image asking about the twins, I felt like I had lost her all over again.? Annie began to sob quietly. ?Annie, you know I never wanted this. I?ve come to respect Kate in ways I?ll never be able to explain. I?m also finding it difficult to live in the shadow of her ghost. I?ll never replace her in your heart, but maybe I?ll earn a place there on my own?? I held my arms out slightly, and this time Annie came to me, and laid her head on my shoulder. She let out her grief with deep heaving sobs, while I softly whispered encouragements in her ear. I just held her, ?she loved you so much, you know that don?t you?? I asked. Annie just nodded. I suppose we sat there for the best part of an hour. Annie had never come to grips with her loss. Finally, she came up for air, ?you truly are like her you know. You?ve such a motherly attitude. I can?t believe how tender you are. You?ve done it again. You know when to be quiet, and when to let me have some space. Are you sure you?re not really Kate?? She asked with a quizzical half grin. ?Honey, I?m sure, and I have the t-shirt to prove it.? Annie looked at me strangely. ?Yep, my kids got it for me, ?World?s Best Dad? is what it says; I can guarantee no one would have given the original Kate that shirt.? My poor attempt at humor seemed to work, Annie began a fit of giggles, and I shooed her out of the office. I spent the rest of the day shopping for the kids; I wanted everything in place for when I returned. Fortunately there was a large shopping mall in Burlington, featuring Filenes, Macy?s and Sears. I know for Tim, the important things were electronic; X-box, TV, computer, etc... For Lisa, I knew her main concern would be a telephone that could be used to talk to friends in California. That, and of course, clothes. I arrived at home a bit after 4:30 in the afternoon. Hal wasn?t home yet, so I slipped upstairs. My groin and boobs had pretty much stopped aching, so I thought I might do a light workout. It was my monthly, ?I?m going to start losing weight!? promise to myself and commitment to exercise. I knew I probably wouldn?t carry through for more than a day or two, but at the time I felt virtuous about it. I changed into a one piece bathing suit, slipped on some sweats and flip-flops, pulled my hair back in a pony tail, grabbed a towel and some undies and headed for the pool. In the hall, I ran into Annie, and she offered to join me. I waited as she quickly changed. We went downstairs and entered the gym/pool area. Annie cranked up some seventies oldies music, and I began to stretch. When I pulled off the sweats Annie turned to me, and her eyes bugged out. ?Oh my God,? she cried, pointing to my flat groin, ?where did it go? And where did those come from?? She asked, pointing at my chest. I struck a pose. The classic hand on the hip, one leg slightly in front of the other, and knee bent, ?Eve in the Garden? pose. ?You like?? I asked. Annie just stood there. She blinked 2 or 3 times. I began to chuckle. ?How? When?? she finally stuttered. ?Before I left California,? I answered. ?I knew there would be times like this when anything other than this would be a liability. Now, are we going to swim, or are you going to stare some more?? ?Don?t be angry, but can I see? I really can?t believe my eyes. You remember at Comdex? You showed me then. Please!? ?Maybe after some exercise,? I said, and jumped into the pool. Years before, I?d spent 3 weeks at a health resort called the Lifestyle Center of America in, believe it or not, Sulphur Oklahoma. I learned some intensive water aerobics ? which I never used again. So, for the next 30 minutes, I worked against the water to the beat of the music. Afterwards, we showered in the changing room, and I honored her request ? telling her I?d show her mine if she showed me hers. Boy did I make a mistake. Annie was gorgeous in her birthday suit. I?m not sure which of us stared at the other harder. It was an amazingly strange experience. I was getting excited, yet there was no trace of my manhood ? the valve wasn?t closed. It was kind of like an indefinable itch. I knew I needed and wanted to do something, but there was nothing I could do. Annie, for her part, insisted on showing me how to do a breast self exam ? or at least that is what she claimed. In any case, she became intimately acquainted with my breasts. D?j? vu... ?They feel so natural!? she said. With the hot water streaming down she bent her head and gently kissed the right one (actually, I don?t think there could be a ?wrong? one!). My breathing was becoming irregular. ?Uh, Annie, please!? I gasped. I reached out and pulled her into a hug. Her right hand slipped down and touched me, exploring the new places between my legs. She looked up and kissed me. I had one hand rubbing her back and the other caressing her breasts. My brain refused to function and I pulled her closer to me. Annie loved it and began rubbing her leg between mine. One hand played with my breasts, and the other she wrapped around my neck, pulling my head closer to hers. I didn?t know what to do. ?Think? I told myself. ?What?s wrong with this picture?? Her tongue explored my mouth. I knew there was something wrong, but the feelings coursing through my body were drowning out any rational thought. All I could hear was deep passionate moaning, and I couldn?t tell if it was Annie or me. Desperately I examined the memory registers of my brain looking for an answer. ?Cold,? I thought, and that one single thought brought action and saved me from myself. I reached out and turned the hot water off, leaving the two of us in a stream of cold water. Immediately, my brain rebooted. I jumped back as if poked with a cattle prod. ?Oh jeez, Annie I?m sorry!? Annie looked back at me, ?No, I?m the one who started it. Oh my gosh! I want you Beth.? At least it was Beth and NOT Kate she wanted. She reached out and turned the water off. I began to back away, Annie stalking after me with a feline grace and a determination I?d never seen before. ?Annie, please,? I continued to back away. ?You?ve got me really excited,? she continued to advance. ?I want you too, but I can?t.? I bumped into the wall. ?I?m already ?married? to two people, and I absolutely love my wife.? Annie pressed up against me. ?I?ve never been unfaithful,? I moaned as she flowed against me, shutting off my protests by kissing me. I was lost. My brain went into overload, and the memory registers came up empty this time. ?Kate, I?m home!? Hal called from the gym as I heard the door close behind him. Annie jumped back. My brain again rebooted. ?Annie and I are changing,? I called back to Hal, profoundly grateful for his interruption. ?I?m not done with this,? she whispered in my ear then wrapped a towel about her body and flounced out. I quickly toweled off and slipped into my sweats. ?We were just finishing up after a swim,? I told Hal. ?How was your day?? ?I spent the day finalizing the banking relationships for the west coast office. They will be expecting you sometime tomorrow,? he explained. ?How come you?re so flushed?? With that, I realized, I was blushing from the top of my towel to the top of my head. ?Just the really hot shower,? I replied, watching Annie make suggestive motions behind Hal?s back. Hal and I went upstairs, and I practically threw myself at him. I was horny, and I needed relief. He was incredibly tender and gentle, and had me pleading for him before he finally made love to me. It was wonderful, it was not enough. Afterwards, we discussed my impending trip, and had a quiet dinner sent up. I called Linda and told her when we would arrive, chatted with the kids, and gave them all my love. I slipped into a black babydoll nightie with matching panty (and I didn?t even know they made them for fat chicks!), brushed my hair and teeth, spritzed a bit of perfume, and crawled into bed while Hal took a shower. I was reading my book when he came in. I pulled back the covers, and gave him my best ?come hither? look. He needed no more encouragement, and I could see by his reaction he was ready to ?perform? again. I was still really horny. He came to bed, and satisfied my needs. In the early hours of the morning I finally fell asleep, and passed the night in pleasant dreams. Wednesday November 28, 2001 I woke up nestled against Hal. There was something strangely comforting in that. Part of it I?m sure came from my childhood. I?d wake up early on Saturday morning, and snuggle in with my parents. Hal?s smell reminded me of my dead father. It was a good feeling. There were fewer hairs on the bed, and I showered and dressed casually. Annie was ready downstairs, and after a quick breakfast Jeeves took us to the airport. Abbey and George met us there and by 8:30 we were airborne. It was my first time in this aircraft; it was a Boeing business jet. Hal had really gone overboard with this one. There was a spacious lounge with reclining chairs that doubled as beds; a private bedroom ? complete with a queen size bed and a bathroom with a shower; there was a crew rest area and galley. The ?common? area bathroom was also equipped with a shower. Throughout the cabin the d?cor was hand rubbed maple and chocolate colored leather on a beige carpet. After takeoff, I stole away to the bedroom, locked the door against Annie, and took a nap. We arrived about 10:30, and Linda was there to meet us. I left Annie, Abbey, and George with Liz; we agreed to meet about 2:00 at the Temecula branch of Cal Fed, and Linda and I went home. ?Well Miss Alice, how?s life on the other side of the looking glass?? Linda teased. I just groaned. ?I?ll tell you this, it?s anything but boring. Hal is crazy, Abbey is in love, Annie is completely confused, and I?m in love.? ?With who?? Linda asked. ?Why you of course,? I replied. ?I really hope you like your present.? ?Present? What present?? ?Just get me home so I can show you,? was my enigmatic reply. When we got home, I kicked off my pumps, and went up to our bedroom, dropping clothes along the way. ?Are you horny already?? Linda smiled and started shucking clothes as fast as she could follow me. ?Babe, you?ve NO idea just how much I need you right now. Hal is gentle and tender, but it?s NOT what I?ve craved.? By the time I?d reached the bedroom I was down to bra, nylons, purse and panties. By the time Linda reached the bedroom, she was nude, and her nipples were already hard ? a sure sign she wanted me as much as I wanted her. I reached in my purse and brought out a gold foil wrapped box. I handed her the box and removed the last of my clothes. Linda stared at me in fascination. ?I remember it looking natural, but girl you could pose nude and no one would know!? ?Uh huh, open your gift you ditz!? I laughed. Linda opened the box and removed what looked like a remote lock fob for a car. There were two buttons; one was marked ?open,? and other marked ?close.? Linda joined me on the bed and we snuggled. ?Is this what I think it is?? ?Yep, I haven?t tried it yet; I wanted that pleasure to be all yours.? I replied while nipple nibbling. Linda started giggling. She pushed me back, and spread my legs to get a better look. ?I want you to give me a countdown,? she said. ?A countdown?? I asked. Do you remember I mentioned she has a strange sense of humor? ?Oh yes, I want a countdown before I launch your new toy.? I sighed, she would get her way, ?10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,? Linda pushed the button and cried ?we have ignition!? Now I have to tell you, it was another strange sensation. Dr. Wells had informed me the elastic nature of genital tissue would keep everything tucked in, and unnoticed in the flaccid state. When Linda pushed the ?close? button, my poor abused manhood came bursting out on the scene as Linda cried, ?We have liftoff!!? I couldn?t help but laugh. I swear, with the valve installed, it seemed an inch or two longer, and was extremely rigid. Linda clapped her hands in delight, and we proceeded to make love. It was the most satisfying experience in my life; to be able to remain ?at attention? until Linda was completely satiated and spent, moaning and begging me to stop ? but only after 3 or 4 orgasms. Me? I was content with one, and overjoyed with the second 15 minutes later. Linda turned out to be correct. With my body changes, I truly was multi-orgasmic. We kind of melted into a puddle on the bed. Linda opened the valve and we snuggled through the lunch hour. Neither of us was very hungry, both of us were satisfied, and I cried for joy in my love?s arms. We showered, tucked my penis back into its hiding place, dressed, and took off for the bank. Liz and George had the paperwork in place, and all we really needed to do was fill in the signature cards. The whole group trouped over to the temporary offices Linda had organized. She wanted to move quickly on a permanent location. Since this really was Linda?s operation, I sat back and watched. Liz had prepared the contracts to purchase the Temecula property, and with the bank on board, we were able to complete the deal, insisting on a short escrow, and immediate occupancy. Linda then asked Annie to prepare a timeline for setting up the manufacturing facilities. Liz, Abbey, and George were tasked with taking the business plan from an outline to a detailed implementation schedule. I arranged for a block of rooms in the Riverside Marriott. The Riverside Marriott has business suites that provide all the necessary amenities, including high speed internet access, and room service. One would be my pied a terra as Kate while on the West Coast. I called and asked the plane steward to arrange for everyone?s luggage to be transported to the Hotel. I called a cab, and ran an errand of my own ? Hall wasn?t the only one who liked surprises! I arrived back at the office about 4:30. Everyone was getting ready to pack it in for the day (it was by some of our body clocks 7:30 pm). I distributed room assignments, and keys. Annie recognized the key right away ? she had one just like it in her purse. ?While you all were busy getting organized, I thought I?d arrange transportation. Would you all follow me?? I led lead them out to the parking lot. ?I figured it would be easier if everyone was, to use Hal?s terms ?adequately equipped? so I arranged several leases this afternoon.? There in the parking lot were 6 BMW M5s. There was; an Oxford green for me, a Topaz Blue for Annie, Silver for Liz, black for George, white for Abbey, and a deep luscious red for Linda. The looks on their faces were priceless. We drove in procession to the Marriott; I changed back to John, left the M5 in the parking lot, and rode home with Linda. After going nuts over Linda?s new car Tim and I went into the backyard for a little male bonding. We tossed a football back and forth while Linda got dinner ready. Lisa zoomed in about the time we sat down, and threw her arms around my neck in a colossal hug. ?I love my car daddy, thank you so much for doing all this!? A Norman Rockwell dinner later (turkey leftovers, yum!) we were all sitting in the living room, watching TV. Linda snuggled close, kept making veiled references to the space shuttle launch this morning ? or so she hoped the kids thought. ?I just LOVED watching the launch today,? she said, ?the final countdown gave me goose bumps, and when the announcer from mission control said ?we have ignition? it was all I could do to keep from squealing in delight, and when he announced ?we have liftoff? I felt like I?d died and gone to heaven!? I was not amused. Linda, to the best of my knowledge had NEVER been interested in the space program. The fact that STS-108 had launched that morning gave her the perfect opportunity. The kids however knew her twisted sense of humor, and figured there must be some kind of inside joke; little did THEY know. I only hoped she had left ?mission control? in the bedroom. We talked about the Christmas Holidays, Tim and Lisa were both excited about a ?white Christmas? and seeing the estate. Linda and I left the kids to the TV and headed to bed. We enjoyed each other, Linda enjoyed ?mission control,? we spent the evening loving, touching and teasing until we were both satisfied. Linda truly loved her gift, I truly loved Linda. It was weird. I?d gone to Comdex to relax as Beth. Now, living as Kate, I had gone home to relax as John. My life had become more convoluted and twisted than I ever dreamed possible. The only rock I had left was my faith, and my love for Linda. With those intact, I knew I would survive whatever further adventures came my way. Thursday November 29, 2001 I woke early. East coast time catching up with me, I suppose. I eased my way out of the bedroom, and started downstairs. The stairway contained many of our family pictures. A gallery in all but name, and I smiled when I compared it to the gallery at the estate. So many pictures, so many memories; Lisa and Tim going off to kindergarten, the Halloween we all dressed like pirates, our wedding pictures. Me in full uniform, smiling in my Academy portrait; Linda and I on a camel in Jerusalem; each brought a smile, and some a tear. I hadn?t had a chance to really reflect on the changes in our lives. For the first time the cost of this adventure made itself painfully clear; it was time away from my family. I made it to my study, and just sat there for a while, tears streaming down my face. I picked up my Bible, and opened it to Proverbs chapter 3, verses 5 and 6 and what has always been my ?life verse:? ?Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.? My life had certainly taken a path that I did not really understand, I could only hope and pray it would settle down enough that I could keep up with it. I?d always seen my gender issues as something apart from ?real life.? Somehow I never believed I would have to confront the real issues and motivations of my gender dysphoria. After all, it was always something that I did apart from ?reality.? I either did it away from my home and family ? except for times with Linda, or as a ?goof? whenever I could dress as Beth in a socially acceptable way. Halloween and costume parties provided that outlet. Now it was out in the open for my family, but hidden deep in a closet from the rest of the world. The reality was I had become what I had thought I wanted the most. In almost every way imaginable, no one would believe I was anyone other than Kate Stevens ? a woman. Even Annie, who knew better, was losing sight of that reality. I suddenly realized that apart from my family John had nearly ceased to exist. Beth barely existed. The crushing weight of what I was going through fell on me that morning. It was no longer a game. I spent some time, I suppose you could call it quiet time, just reading, reflecting, and praying about how things would turn out. When I heard the kids start to stir, I moseyed into the kitchen, and started getting breakfast for them. The kids were surprised to find a complete breakfast waiting for them instead of cold cereal or a breakfast bar. With just over a week left of school before the holiday break they were understandably looking forward to some time off. Lisa was still ecstatic about her beetle. I collected hugs, and they were off and out the door before Linda came down, dressed and ready to face the day. I suppose I looked a bit scruffy, sweats and sneakers, but I didn?t care. The look on her face this morning was radiant. ?Have a good night?? I teased, serving her a ham and cheese omelet, after collecting a kiss. ?Oh you might say that,? she laughed. ?That was incredible! Such staying power, you?ve certainly been eating your cheerioats. What?s with the clothes? I mean casual is one thing, but sweats?? ?I?m sorry, I forgot to tell you. I?ve an appointment to see Dr. Kline ? a follow up from the boob job. Then tomorrow I?m flying out to Phoenix to see Dr. Wells ? I?m sure he?ll be pleased with your reaction.? Linda finished up breakfast and I picked up the kitchen while she finished getting ready. A quick shower, light makeup, and I was off to the Doctor?s office. Dr. Kline told me he was satisfied with how my boobs turned out, and suggested estrogen to fill them out a little more naturally ? and to increase the size of my nipples. I took the prescription, and said I would think it over. He turned me over to his nurse. She said two weeks was a bit soon for a follow up treatment, but I waved the money at her and was again lased from head to toe. Dr. Kline stopped me on my way out. ?Ms. Stevens, are you by any chance associated with Cendar? The head of the medical division is named Kate Stevens.? ?Yes, that?s me, why?? ?Well, I?ve read several articles regarding your current research, I was wondering, will you be expanding your beta program anytime soon? I know most of the software is geared towards the GP physician, but I would love to have a cross-check to my own diagnosis.? I told him I?d keep him in mind. He again strongly suggested the estrogen, and mentioned he could give it a head start with an intramuscular injection. It was a big step, and another twist in the road I was traveling. It did however have the advantage of helping with being Kate. I reluctantly agreed, he prepared his syringe, and I wound up getting what my father had always claimed was a doctor?s standard treatment: a shot in the butt and a bottle of pills. I filled the prescription, and went home. After changing personas again I spent the rest of the day puttering around the house, cleaning, straightening, and just generally doing mundane things. Another novel thought occurred to me. As Kate, I was never allowed to do so much as make a pbj. At home, I was truly enjoying the simple things. There was a lesson here; I only hoped I?d discover it. The kids got home late in the afternoon, and I took them out for ice cream ? the kid?s favorite comfort food, and then went home to prepare dinner. I?d always loved to cook, and the simple joy of doing something for my family filled me with a deep sense of satisfaction. I was just serving it when Linda arrived. Spaghetti with meat sauce ? and yes ? it too was comfort food. The evening passed quickly; TV, homework, and cuddling. Again, it was terribly normal, terribly mundane, and immensely enjoyable. Needless to say, Linda put her new toy to good use as the capstone of a wonderful day. Friday November 30, 2001 Up early again, I was off to the Marriott to change. From there, it was a short cab ride to the airport, and then a short hop to Phoenix. Dr. Wells poked and prodded, yelled at me for engaging in sex too soon, then pronounced me in ?acceptable? shape. He was pleased with the cosmetic appearance, and was interested in Linda?s reaction, and smiled at her terminology. I was back at Ontario by noon, and spent the afternoon in the office, mostly reviewing ?my? diary, and ?my? work files. I?d been avoiding Annie since Tuesday, and she knew it. Late in the afternoon, I found myself alone with her; everyone else was at the new site with the architect. ?I suppose I should be sorry,? she said, ?but I?m not. I don?t know why, but since I saw you on Tuesday I?ve been incredibly aroused every time I?m near you. It?s strange, I never would have done anything like that with Kate, but you made it clear you were NOT Kate. The thought of a relationship with a woman I already love, who wasn?t really a woman is one I can?t get out of my mind. I never thought I?d have lesbian tendencies, but you are driving me crazy.? ?Lord,? I thought, ?which way is gay? I?m a woman with Hal, a man with Linda, and now I?ve the potential for a lesbian relationship with Annie. Uh..., what happened to the straight paths you promised?? I just sighed, ?Annie, it won?t work. I?m trying to be as faithful to who I am and what I?ve promised as is possible. Linda is my love, my life. Yes, you did excite me. But it?s not me. I want to be close to you, I like you a lot. But I just can?t be your lover.? ?I don?t know if I can accept that. Please give me a chance. I love you.? Another deep sigh. ?I might be able to love you too, but as a daughter, not a lover. Besides, I?m old enough to be your father.? With that her eyes glazed over, and I could see the word ?father? had caused her brain to reboot. Annie blushed, turned and walked out of the room. I sadly went back to my reading. The thought of sex with Annie was tempting, deeply so, but I wasn?t sure how I would have accomplished it, and that disturbed me. I was trying to be faithful to my commitments, and to myself, and that also disturbed me, that I could be so close to giving in. Even more disturbing was the lack of a clear notion of who I was anymore. I left for home, changed back to John, and invited my mom over for dinner. My mom, Linda, and I went out to Applebee?s for dinner. I told her all about what had been happening. Her only comment was I needed to tell my brother SOON. He had been worried that I wasn?t home, and had been bugging her for information. Linda and I dropped her off, and then went to see a movie. It had been a LONG day, and I was glad to get home and go to bed. Saturday December 1, 2001 I woke early, showered, dressed with a tight fitting sports bra, t- shirt, and denim shirt over that ? my boobs were hardly noticeable. I took the hormones I?d been prescribed and then I wandered down to the office and fired up the computer. Hal had e-mailed a sweet note mainly detailing how much he loved and missed me. I replied, telling him I?d be home on Wednesday. Then I spent a quiet hour thinking about the changes around me. About 8:00 I woke the kids and told them I was kidnapping them for the day, ?so hurry and get dressed!? Linda had wanted to sleep in, so gathering up the offspring we left the house. They had no idea what was going on, but both wanted to ride in the BMW. We stopped at Denney?s for breakfast, and then headed into Anaheim. I?d not been to Disney?s California Adventure, and figured the kids and I could explore the new park and let Linda join us later if she wanted. We spent the day just goofing around. The kids enjoyed the fact that I really didn?t care what they wanted, I wasn?t pinching pennies at a theme park ? at least not as long as this adventure lasted. Linda never did join us, she was enjoying a down day with no work, no kids and no worries. I found out later she loafed around the house till noon and then went to a day spa for a little pampering ? if you call manicure, pedicure, salt rub, and facial a ?little? pampering. She deserved it. The kids and I had dinner at Napa Rose in the park. Far superior to any Disney fare I?d ever eaten before. Lisa and I had the yellowtail tuna, with Tim pigged out on the pork rib roast. We left about 9:00 and made it home in time for the kids to catch Saturday Night Live. Me? I headed to bed, and enjoyed snuggling with my favorite person. Sunday December 2, 2001 I took my meds, showered, and dressed before fixing breakfast for everyone. After we ate, it was off to church. It was nice to be back in my home church. I missed the pastor and the worship. I shuddered to think what he would have to say about the complexities my life had taken. Like too many in the church, I feared his reaction would be derision and condemnation. But then again, maybe he could rise above the din and provide a bit of guidance. We spent the rest of the day at the mall. Lisa insisted on shopping for suitable ?snow? clothes. I just laughed, and went along with the flow. I told her to be careful, and we would be having Annie over after dinner. Lisa didn?t quite get it. I told her, ?You know, the owner of Gowns R Us. She?s coming to take your measurements before we return to New England. I suspect you?ll find a closet full of clothes when you visit.? Lisa?s eyes bugged out of her head, ?you really mean it???? She asked. I assured her it would happen, and she threw her arms around my neck, ?you are the best!? She gushed. Knowing Annie, I suspect that Lisa had NO idea what was in store for her. We arrived home to find Annie waiting. The atmosphere was strained, but cordial. Annie took Lisa to her room, and took what I counted to be 47 separate measurements while Linda and I watched. All were taken twice to insure accuracy. As she measured, Annie entered them into her laptop computer. She then held a colorimeter up to Lisa?s skin (back of the hand, inside the wrist, above her breasts, her chin, cheeks, and forehead), hair, and eyes recording the results as she went. She then pulled her hair away from her face, and slipped a wire frame like mask over her head. This was photographed from three different positions. Annie explained, ?What I?m doing is similar to how movies now create computer generated characters. I now know all the parameters I need to create a ?virtual Lisa,? I?ll digitize the photos tonight, and by tomorrow the computer will have generated a model that can be used for creating any clothes I can imagine. The beauty is, we can see how the clothes will fit, drape, and move as the model moves.? She smiled at Lisa, ?you?ll love it! Tomorrow night, we can get down to the serious business of shopping for your new wardrobe! Your dad tells me you?re interested in SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism). Is that true?? Lisa nodded her head. ?Great! One of the first costumes we designed with this software was for a 13th century court gown. Maybe we can try that one as a test, to see if it works for you.? Lisa about went spastic, ?Oh my gosh, what fabrics, what colors? Really accurate to the period?? Annie said yes, except for the fact that no one could sew as well as a machine, it would be authentic. ?No one will believe this.? Her mouth ran on at about 150 words a minute for I don?t know how long. Annie had made a friend. More than that, she had made my daughter happy. I?ve often said if you want to reach me, do something for my kids. It?s the quickest way to my heart. Annie was redeeming herself, and probably didn?t even know it. Annie packed up her equipment, and excused herself. Lisa ran off to the phone, Tim was playing Halo, and I saw the perfect opportunity for Linda and I to go to our room. It was time to talk serious. ?Babe, I need to know how you feel things are going. Even more I you need to know a few things about how my side of this is going. I?m feeling really twisted, hurting, and confused.? ?Now Miss Alice, aren?t you enjoying Wonderland?? She began to tease. ?Hon, for a minute, try to control the sense of humor, I?m really serious. I need your input. Remember, you?re partly to blame this time, it?s NOT all MY fault,? I pleaded. Perhaps it was the hormones, but I was feeling really emotional, I started to cry. There must have been something about my expression, or my pleading, as she quieted down, and gently hugged me against her on the bed. ?I?m sorry, why don?t you tell me all about it?? It all came out: the feeling like I was living with a ghost. I told of the pain of the surgeries; of Hal?s apparent desire to believe I was Kate; the episode with Annie (okay, on THAT one she could NOT keep from laughing AT me!); my enjoyment of the sex, both with her and as Kate. I told of my desperate attempt to keep myself serially monogamous; my pain of being caught in circumstances way beyond my control, and how tempting Annie was. I told of my doubts about this life I found myself in, and how I felt I was giving up too much that was precious to me. I told her about my inner confusion, and a loss of understanding what was right and wrong. And I told her of my love for her, and how that was the only thing holding me together. I blurted out I didn?t know if I could continue to live if I couldn?t resolve the pain. I shuddered to a halt, as the tears really began to flow. Linda rocked me back and forth, cradling me in her arms. She whispered sweet nothings to me, and let me cry myself out. She handed me tissue after tissue. And she assured me, over and over of her love. ?What am I going to do? Do you hate me? What am I going to do about Annie? Am I gay? And if I am, when am I gay? I thought I understood about gender, and sexual orientation, but I?m lost in a sea of conflicting feelings and thoughts.? Linda looked at me and said gently, ?I?m sorry, I?m so so sorry.? Then it was her turn to cry. It was my turn to hold her. ?I had no idea this would turn in this direction. I only thought of the money ? and in hindsight that was a mistake. I?ve really screwed up. I thought you would love being able to be Beth for more than an occasional weekend. And I?m sorry I set you up in Las Vegas. I guess I never really thought things through.? She turned to me and through her tears asked, ?Can you forgive me?? I didn?t trust myself to speak, I nodded my head. It was true; she had maneuvered me into a corner. She had coerced me into something I knew in my heart I did not want to do. I thought of a line from a country song. It was about a father?s love: Father?s don?t just love there children every now and then It?s a love without end, amen. It was even truer about my love for Linda. I could not, when everything was said and done, withhold my forgiveness. My love was, and is, unconditional. I?ve been mad at her, and will be again, but ultimately my love is unconditional, and without end. We gradually pulled ourselves back from the slough of despair. There were practical considerations. We could pull the plug on this entire deal in another 9 weeks. That?s all I?d actually promised. We could see it through to the end. Linda specifically made it clear she would not hold it against me if things with Annie got out of hand, which she clearly expected. And she made it crystal clear that if I decided I had to bail on this deal she would support my decision, now and always. One thing about Linda, she has never broken her word. I don?t think she has even resorted to ?little white lies.? I knew I could trust her. And finally, we both agreed that counseling was pre-eminently imperative for the gender issues; both from a psychological and from a religious perspective. We got ready for bed. There was an urgent and healing nature about out lovemaking that night. It sounds contradictory, but it was also soft and giving. Unhurried, I think we both wanted to make the pain of the other go away, each willing to put aside our own pleasure in consideration of the other. It was late when we finally fell asleep, still lying in each other?s arms Monday December 3, 2001 Monday passed in a blur. I rose early, spent my quiet time in my office, and then prepared breakfast for the kids. Afterwards, I dressed casually in a denim skirt and shirt over a white silk shell. I took my meds and started on my tasks for the day. Hal wanted a home on the West Coast, near the new operation. We spoke about it before I left the house. Eventually he would build, but in the meantime, I was tasked to find a ?temporary? home. He mentioned that we would be having a ?working? dinner Wednesday night fund raising for Governor Swift. I found I was looking forward to being with her, in a short time she had become a friend. Century 21 has a separate listing service for ?fine estates,? and I approached the ?estate and fine homes? office with specific requirements in mind. Hal insisted that the estate include at least 6 bedrooms, be on 5 or more acres, and be within easy driving distance of the office ? and since it was California he wanted a pool. Myra Duncan prepared a list for 5 possible homes, and we spent the day touring them. In the Temecula area, there are basically two choices. You can either live to the east of Interstate 15 in a tract home, or you can live in the hills of De Luz to the west of the 15. I knew Hal would have a fit ? regardless of the price ? if I even looked at the tract homes. So, it was off into the hills. The first was not what I wanted; it was new construction, in a Spanish ranch style. It had plenty of room, but was kind of stark and sterile. The second was in the De Luz valley, 15 acres, about 4000 sq. foot, but with an 11 car garage, I really didn?t warm to it. The third I fell in love with. It was in a park like setting on 10 acres. I was greeted by a charming gatehouse. Then there was a pond that covered 1.5 acres with a small island in the middle. The house itself was an English Tudor style, 8 bedrooms and an absolutely gorgeous kitchen. The floors were marble, and the countertops were dark blue granite. The kitchen had lots of room and was totally modern. The rest of the house was delightfully ?English Men?s Club? wood paneled. I loved the library, with it?s thousands of leather bound books. The master bedroom had a wonderful attached bath, complete with hot tub. It was a west coast version of Stevens Hall, and I knew Hal would love it as much as I did. The feature that put it totally over the top was the formal English garden. Myra and I walked across a footbridge to the island and sat down in the gazebo, where the owner joined us. A couple of minutes later, we were served tea and scones. A corny touch, but I loved it. The owner, an older woman named Sarah, was asking $5.2 million. I mentioned I might be interested, but wanted an outside appraisal. Myra recommended 3 different appraisers, and I contacted all three. Two were available that afternoon, and I promised a bonus for a quick turnaround on the report. Sarah, smelling a possible sell, gave me a more detailed tour of the house. We talked about the furnishings; Sarah would prefer not to move them. I feigned reluctance to keep them ? actually, I loved them, and was willing to pay for them. We talked about how soon I could take possession, and Sarah mentioned it was not being lived in, and could be made available immediately. Sarah did have a caveat; she wanted whoever bought the property to keep the groundskeeper and his wife, who was also the housekeeper and cook. They lived in a separate cottage, one of 3 scattered around the grounds. I told her I?d consider it. We walked back to through the garden, and I was entranced by the precision of the landscaping. I wandered through the hedgerow maze down to the pond. There were ducks swimming, and as I watched as a fish of some kind broke the surface of the pond. It was incredibly peaceful and bucolic. Myra and I visited the remaining listings. But nothing compared to Sarah?s house. Myra and I returned to Sarah?s and I spent the rest of the day there poking my way into every nook and cranny of the house and gardens. There was even a well furnished basement ? something unheard of in Southern California. Shortly before 4:30 I met individually with the appraisers. The first gave me an initial verbal appraisal of $5.3 million, the second $5.2 million. I thanked them and Myra, Sarah, and I sat down to talk about the house. I told Sarah I wanted the house, and was willing to pay the initial asking price. She asked if I wanted to have my husband look at it before finalizing. I smiled and mentioned Hal trusted my judgment. Sarah asked about the furnishings. I asked what her intentions were. She suggested at the price I was paying, I ought to take care of removing she did not take. I agreed, and told her I be would keep her staff. We agreed to have Liz and George meet with Myra, and Sarah?s attorney the following day to finalize the arrangements. In the meantime, I gave her a certified check for $1 million as earnest money against the purchase. She agreed to immediate occupancy. Myra smiled, mentally counting her commission. We left, and I placed a call to meet with Linda, Liz, George, and Annie for that evening. We met at the temporary offices, and I was unsurprised to see someone had ordered Chinese takeout. We compared notes; Linda had the new complex well under way. I brought George and Liz up to speed on what I wanted with the new estate, and what improvements would need to be made. Annie surprised me by suggesting an additional party for December. When I asked what kind of party, she smiled. ?Lisa?s into SCA, right?? she asked. I agreed. ?How about we through a SCA type party the weekend of the 27th, She could invite some friends with a chaperone, and I can provide the costumes. And, you wouldn?t know, but I used to be Chatelaine for the Canton of the Two Towers - the SCA chapter on the North Shore of Massachusetts. I?m sure I?ve some friends who?d love a Midwinter?s eve party. Lisa would LOVE it.? I told Annie I?d think about it. I asked if she could arrange for a hairdresser and someone to do my nails on the flight Wednesday. Hal and I had a fund raising dinner to attend, and I wouldn?t be able to go a salon between the time we arrived and when I had to join Hal. Annie said she?d arrange it. I began to think Annie could ?arrange? anything. Linda and I went home where I called Hal with the news. He sounded delighted, promised to send one of the household security staff to look into what would be needed. We turned in, and I treasured the closeness of Linda next to me. Tuesday December 4, 2001 My last day in California for a month or more began like Monday. I had forgotten how centering it was to start my day with a quiet, devotional time. This morning was especially bittersweet, and I treasured my memories. The kids had become spoiled; taking my cooking breakfast for granted. I did not mind at all. Tim and Lisa took off for school, Linda to the office, and I slipped into jeans, bound my boobs, and donned a polo shirt before tackling my most difficult task ? talking to my brother. TJ, short for Thomas John, worked north of Los Angeles. TJ was a risk taker, and an excellent sales manager for a large food wholesaler. He regularly spent weekends in Vegas, and was one of those people who were the bane of the casinos. He always seemed to win. I drove up the coast to Santa Barbara. I knew he would be working, so I called on his cell, and he agreed to meet for lunch. TJ is an elder in his church, and was a late convert to Christianity. It was my sharing of my faith, and my example that brought him to faith. Like me, his faith was evangelical. Unlike me, he tended to be more liberal in his faith. I dreaded meeting with him. I feared his reaction. TJ and I met at Arby?s. It was a personal favorite for both of us. TJ looked at me, and his brow kind of wrinkled up. ?Hey bro, how are you doing?? He asked, as we hugged. ?How come you haven?t been home?? ?I?ve a new job,? I told him. ?I?ll be spending a bit more than half my time in Massachusetts for at least the next 3 months. I?m doing about half Unix, and half HR, but they are paying me like you wouldn?t believe.? ?So why haven?t you called me?? he asked. ?TJ, things aren?t quite as simple as I?ve described.? ?What do you mean?? I handed over my Massachusetts Driver?s License. ?What in the hell is this!? he demanded. ?That?s me according t