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Triumph of my Will 2 By jasmine My sisters and I climbed into Alexandra's Diablo and we had just started home when Alexandra looked at me and said, "Don't you want to date a boy? That's what most young girls want, and you are obviously not a real boy anymore." 'What a bitch and what a stupid question!' I thought. "Absolutely not. I'm not like that, and anyway, no mother lets her daughter date at my age. This is pissing me off as we ARE talking about a sexual violation that I didn't deserve." This was going too far. Crossdressing against my will was one thing that I could handle. I hoped that complying with their wishes would convince my sisters to like me and we could be closer. If dressing like this would make us closer, I was willing to do it. I feared that this wasn't going to work. Sandra and Alexandra just wanted to hurt me. They were talking about a sexual violation that I wouldn't meekly let happen. "What makes you think that you don't deserve it? Sandra didn't deserve it either, but the sonofabitch didn't give a damn and she didn't get any sympathy from you, now, did she?" "Yes she did, but she didn't accept it." She slapped me, saying that I was a dumb male and that I would probably be a violator too. I tried to argue with her, but it was useless. I finally gave up. "Is this what this is all about, that she is afraid that I will be a rapist? I've never given her any indication that I would do that." Alexandra sneered, "That's part of it, but there is much more and we won't tell you the rest of it until you are ready." 'What the hell does that mean: "until I am ready."' I wondered. I remembered playing with Sally until I was five or six. Mother had told me that it wasn't right, that I should have been playing with boys more and not with dolls with my sister. There were times that I'd played with her wearing one of her dresses and I hadn't minded, as that was my idea. Actually, I had loved it and it had felt wonderful. The reason that I hated being Michelle so bad was that it wasn't being done to help me, but to humiliate me. I rather liked it when I was younger, but lost interest. I found that I liked to wear dresses on occasion, and I was lying when I'd said that I had NO interest. That kind of thing should be done with consent and kindness and that was not what I was receiving. I felt that they didn't give a rat's ass about what I felt. We were going way farther than just crossdressing, and I wouldn't go for that. My twin sisters were intimidating. They were good athletes, very strong and big for girls. They were stronger than me, but they didn't fight well. They relied mostly on brute strength and not real fighting skills. They both played for their high school basketball team. I couldn't defeat both of them. I could defeat one of them. I could never defeat my bigger sister in a fight. A fully-grown 24-year-old woman was too much for my young twelve years to tackle. My bigger sister took after my mother. She was trying to get accepted into a prestigious business school. She stopped boxing and diverted her attention to studying accounting and business. I hoped she succeeded. I still liked all of my sisters and admired their strength, even if they used it for the wrong purpose. I hoped that they would see that and turn it around so that we would be a happy family. I didn't think that they would, but as my options were limited, I hoped so. As I got out of the car and walked in the house, I wondered what would happen. I wasn't to blame. I didn't get my hair done. I didn't think that I would get my hair done that day, either. Alexandra said, "I know someone who will do your hair tomorrow. She's my friend and likes sissies like you, so don't expect any sympathy from her." I wondered why we didn't go see her then. Then Alexandra and all of my sisters looked at me expectantly. Alexandra had a bag she had been holding. She said, "I went to shop for you and I got this today." She pulled out a satin dress with white ruffles along the edges. It looked suspiciously like a maid's dress. She then pulled out a frilly cap and an apron along with a black garter belt and stockings. I said, with my words cracking, "You have got to be kidding me, I can't be a maid; I don't know anything about being a maid." "You can be a maid and you will learn, we girls are tired of doing all of the work around here, so it is now your responsibility. Sandra will help you for the time being until you learn your jobs. Now they want to know who one is prettier, Sally or Sandra." 'Not this again.' I thought to myself. I would have to indicate which sister was more attractive by kissing her shoe. Whoever I choose, the other would show her displeasure with me; hours of pain would follow. I chose Sandra, as she was the most vicious. Sally dragged me to her room and started whaling on my poor butt. As she beat me, I just meekly accept it all, as Alexandra was still there. If I resisted, she would be there in a second and I would be strapped to the bed and beaten anyway. I was in immense pain and sobbing. While she was doing this, I wondered if my sisters would ever decide to be civil toward me. I hoped it would be soon. When she was done with that, she strapped me to her bed and started humiliating me, slapping my butt and back, making comments and laughing at me. I started to cry, but this continued for several hours. We played this sadistic game every Sunday. What pleasure they got from it baffled me. I saw Alexandra rubbing herself. What sisters. They would pay for this. I would crush the vermin and wipe them of the face of the earth. That was assured. She finished and I hurt everywhere. A dark feeling took control. Hatred rose inside me. I swore that I would kill all of the vermin someday. Every one of them would die. My face was red and I was pissed. This was unfair and would not continue. In the name of the providence, I declared that I would triumph. I had known that I was blessed by the providence for some time and in the end I would prevail. I wasn't going anywhere. So I would just sing my favorite song, Die Fahne Hoch. I loved that song. Sally once heard me sing that song and had made a face at me. She didn't approve of me, but what did she know of that song? For the rest of the night I remained strapped to my bed, but I would be released in the morning when I went to school. It was just six in the evening. I started to hate people like my sisters. I thought that people who hurt children should be stripped of their citizenship and be shipped to places like Dachau. I still had hope that we might be a real family shortly. It had better be because I was losing hope. I wondered if I could go to school dressed as a full girl. The thought was almost repulsive, but dressed as a boy with pink fingernails and a face of makeup was making me the laughing stock of the whole school. If I acted like I liked it and made my sisters think I loved being their sister, I thought that I might get better treatment. I didn't really think so, but it would be interesting to see their reaction. I would ask Sandra or Alexandra tomorrow if they would help me. Around eleven o'clock I needed to sleep. I lay my head down and fell asleep wondering if my sisters would give me the decency of dressing wholly as one sex. I hoped so. Sandra shook me awake at 6:40 in the morning and unstrapped me, then left me so I could get ready. I had already adapted the skill of doing my own makeup without their help; what a skill a 12-year-old boy needs! This boy did, but remembering my hope, I asked Sandra if I could go to school the last week dressed fully as a girl. She beamed a dark smile and said, "Well little sister, you do want to be a girl." I said with enthusiasm, "I do, Sandra. Can I please? I want to more than anything in the whole world." I wondered if she was buying it. She said, "I will ask Alexandra and see what we can do since our shopping trip yesterday was cut short." Then she left to talk with Alexandra. I sat there wondering what I gotten myself into. I thought they liked this change. I hoped they would and we could be sisters like any family of close sisters. They hated me as a brother, so they should like a sister. All of my wonderful sisters came in beaming that sadistic smile they seemed to have mastered, and Sandra held a catholic school girls uniform that she worn when she attended catholic school at my age. She hated it and I guess that that is what I would wear. I really bumbled into this one, but at least I would look like a girl and not like a boy in makeup and jeans. So she handed me the uniform and they left snickering, while I put it on along with stockings and I sat at my vanity to make my face up. This uniform had a strange and wonderful feeling even if I looked like an idiot. Surely someone would pull me aside in school and ask some questions. I couldn't just show up in school like this and be business as usual. Around 45 minutes later, I was standing with my sisters, ready to walk to school. Sally and Sandra escorted me to my middle school and after that; they went to their high school. I would get teased this time. I walked into school and my friends, as well as just about everyone else, gasped at my ridiculous uniform. I didn't cry, but walked to my math class confidently, knowing that I would be destined to achieve great things. Why else was I gifted with my skills? I had expected someone to take me to the principal's office. That is what should have happened. I felt like something was very different and weird. No one seemed to care, even if they did notice ? almost like Alexandra saw them and did something. Did they all really think this was my idea? Hey, it was my idea. As I walked into algebra, everyone busted out laughing at my appearance. I glared at the one closest boy with an icy look and he shut up quickly. I sat down as the instructor walked in and frowned at me. He looked like he wanted to ask me to leave or talk with me but was afraid to, and started the class regardless. Throughout the class the boys giggled and made comments about me. In an hour it was over and I went to public speaking. I had a speech to give there. Well, if everyone hated this uniform, they could kiss my ass. I loved it; I wondered why Sandra hated it. Then I went to public speaking. I had to give a fake inaugural address and the final was Wednesday. It would be about the state of our nation. After listing to several poor speeches and a few good ones, but mostly boring, there was one given by a girl I liked that was exceptional. It was my turn. I was still being laughed at as I walked in front of class, and stood there for several seconds with my hands cupped in front of me at my belt with my head held high clenching my jaw. I gave this pose with all of the pomposity and authority a boy in a schoolgirl's uniform could give. This pose always disturbed my teacher, but it felt right. Then I started my speech. "My fellow Americans, I am proposing a new amendment that will strip all persons who have harmed a child of their citizenship. New prisons will be created for this vermin. For years, they have been stealing everything we have worked for as well as molesting our children. We must disinfect our nation of this vermin. Dachau will be our model for this new prison. Furthermore, the armed forces will by law take an oath of allegiance to me. A new era is coming and all of the suffering of the past will cease. Joblessness and suffering and hunger will cease. The new power will last for a thousand years. The age of stupid and meaningless wars has ended. The age of teenage gangs murdering others will end. The age of drug lords and idiocy has ended. This vermin will no longer be tolerated. Our relations with the European nations must be mended. A new initiative will be instated to that end. The speaker will also propose another amendment that I call the enabling act. We are blessed by the providence. The dawn of a thousand years of peace and prosperity await us." As I spoke, I imagined that I was giving that speech in the Kroll Opera House. Someday I would be great. I stood there amongst wild applause in my pose, and I confidently walked toward my seat. I listened to more dumb speeches. I was masterful. I didn't miss a beat and my words were hypnotic and electric. I saw fear in the instructor's eyes. He groaned. What was he scared of? After that class I went to English and took a pre test for the final exam. I would never do that. If I were the president, I would respect the constitution and would probably be a great president. I hoped I would get the opportunity. I really started to like this uniform and would wear it tomorrow. I was really starting to act like a girl. I went through the rest of the day and waited for my sisters to escort me home. I was warned not to do anything stupid, like run away. Alexandra assured me that no one would believe me, and the police would return me. I wondered if they realized my newfound comfort with this uniform. I asked, "Sandra, can I wear this tomorrow please?" Her expression said it all, not what she had expected, and she said nothing. She said, "We have that appointment with Peggy to get your hair done, remember; you may wear that if you like." I said, "That would be lovely." Then I hugged her for that. This was getting too deep. Was I showing too much real enthusiasm for this? What would a marine recruiter think of this? I had better get this under control. With my talent and strength, they might make an exception. We would see. Then I asked," Who is this stylist?" She said, "She is a real bitch. Her name is Peggy Roehm and she loves to humiliate boys and sissies. She loves to make them cry. I hate her; she is just mean to everyone, but I doubt that she would make a dent with you, as you seem to actually like this." Just to show at least some reluctance I said indignantly, "No, I don't look like a god damn fairy sissy." That wasn't said with much force or conviction at all. She didn't buy it at all. My plan was working; I was loving the feel of feminine clothes thoroughly. As we went home Alexandra said, "We have an appointment at five o'clock, so go and make yourself presentable." I said, "That would be wonderful." Then I ran into my room and made myself up. I could tell that Alexandra was puzzled by my enthusiasm, to say the least. If they wanted to make my life miserable by this, they could kiss my ass, but I didn't like this either. If they wanted me to show displeasure at this attire, then that was their problem, but I was sure that they would find a way to make it my problem also. I ran downstairs to Alexandra and we got in her Diablo and started off to the new salon. Then Alexandra said with annoyance, "If this is an act, it is the best I ever saw, but I think that you like this." Like I didn't know, and I said, "I know that you are terrible people and want to hurt me and ruin my future, but you will fail." She shrugged and said, "You must be a real sissy, and I don't think that the Marine Corps will accept you now." And she laughed triumphantly. I was sure that the marines would accept me. We got there. As we walked in I saw Peggy. She was beautiful. She also had this hard edge to her that made me fear her. She wasn't someone I wanted to cross. She told me in a commanding tone to sit down. My looking so comfortable and confidently dressed like that frustrated her. I was now wondering if all women's secret desires were to humiliate a young boy. Then I realized that wasn't the truth as my mother was about the most caring and affectionate person ever. How could she have had daughters like Alexandra and Sandra? Sandra said, "I think that the little sissy is ready for her first date. I hear you have a son, a REAL son." She was insulting me and it didn't hurt. Peggy said, "Why yes, I do. His name is Ernst. He lives in Kentucky with his dad." I screamed, "Holy shit, what is his name?" Peggy didn't like that outburst and looked into my face with menace and said, "His name is Ernst and he is my son; you don't have a problem with that, do you?" What a name. I asked, "Why would you name him that? I remember a guy with that name that was shot, the night of long knives if I remember right. Chief of Staff Roehm. He was planning to betray his leader. He was a god damn traitor." There was no menace in my voice, but there was no ignoring the edge of steel. She was shocked and asked my sisters to leave while we talked. Sandra said, "You pissed her off now. I hope that you are sill breathing when we get back." Then they were gone. Peggy said, "I am not upset at all, but impressed at your knowledge. You must have studied hard about that time in history as most references to him were destroyed by the Reich. He wasn't a traitor, just an inconvenience to the fuhrer but not a traitor. I haven't met anyone who realizes the significance of that name. Tell me about yourself." Well, I stepped into it this time. I got a real bitch to like me. "Well," I said, "I am a 12 year old boy. My sisters for the past weeks forced me to dress as a girl and gradually made me wear makeup. Last week was very hard, but today I seem to like this. I have been told that I am bright. My speeches are brilliant and I hope I can be a real marine and lead a great battle for the freedom of the United States. I have the ability to do that. I only want to be loved. I have no idea what is happening. I am happy like this." She said, "You are a bright little boy. Tell me your opinion of the third Reich." I had a sneaking suspicion that she approved of their conduct and I bravely said, "They repulse me, and anyone who approves of their conduct can kiss my ass." She looked at me hard, trying to make me waver. She failed and continues doing my hair and said, "You might change your mind later." My suspicion was correct. She was crazy. However, unlike my sister's description of her, I found myself liking her. She was kind of nice, but still crazy. Not someone you wanted on your bad side. She still had that edge. She looked like she could rip Stallone a new one. After around 30 minutes of cutting and styling my hair she turned me around so I could see myself in the mirror. I actually smiled and thanked her for this. I got up and hugged her for her kindness. Then my sisters came in and paid her for her service and we went home. As we drove home the lack of marks or any sign of her displeasure baffled them. The fact that she seemed genuinely taken by me annoyed them. Not a word was spoken until we get home. I just knew that I would wear the maid's dress and do something for them. That was humiliating, very humiliating. They didn't do much of the housework and things were getting messy. It was getting too much for me and I was going to do some of it on my own. I was not an asshole, they were. I was counting on my sisters seeing the injustice of this and changing their attitudes. I was sure of it. I just wanted a real family. That was my only wish. My mother died and I still hurt badly from that loss. I had hoped that my sisters would come together and we would be closer. That hope was crushed, but for some dumbass reason I still had hope. I was right. I soon stood there with the full French maid's uniform. I really hated that uniform. I was holding a feather duster. My sisters were snapping pictures and laughing up a storm. I didn't cry; I was sick and tired of crying. I stood there looking as confident as I could with my hands cupped at my waist and my head high, looking like a conquering hero, or conquering tyrant. Unlike my pose, I felt immense humiliation and sadness. Then Alexandra told me to dust the whole house and report back to her for further instructions. I didn't dare question her. So I started dusting everything as Sandra watched, making sure that I didn't miss anything. Sandra snickered at me the whole time. I didn't blame her as I did look like a supreme and broken sissy. Nevertheless, I thought 'Let them have their illusions.' I was willing to take this also. A little work wouldn't hurt me. So, unhappily, I dusted. After several hours, I had dusted the whole house and I reported back to Alexandra. She smiled and told me to wash the clothes. I gather my clothes and went to Sandra's room. Her dirty clothes weren't as neatly organized as mine. Sandra had a pile in the middle of her room like a pig. I went to all of my sisters' rooms and gathered their filthy clothes. Alexandra had her clothes under her bed and she was the worst. I never realized until then just how bad and disgusting Alexandra was. Her room was filthy and I am not embellishing at all. Her room had a putrid smell of rotting garbage and food in it. With all of the clothes, I went into the laundry room, separating them, then I started washing them. I had done this before. I washed my own clothes also. I had helped my mother with this job before, as none of my sisters would help her. They thought it was degrading. While I waited for the first load to wash, I was told to clean Alexandra's room. With great reluctance, I did that. If she thought that the smell would go away, she was mistaken. It would take several days for that to happen. After 4 hours the clothes were washed and put back in their places and all of my sister's rooms were clean. After that, I had to make them dinner and watch them all eat while at the same time serving them like any maid. When they were done I got to eat. After that, we all went to sleep. I was starting to lose all hope that my sisters would turn this sadistic cycle around. I was starting to lose all hope. They were messing with the wrong person. That was when I started thinking about Heydrich. He was a fearsome person. This would have never happened to him. He would have killed them in an instant. As I said before, I was really getting angry about my lack of choices. My sisters were pissing me off, and when it happened, it wasn't going to be anything good. I woke up around 6 in the morning and just waited for time to pass until the time came to get up. Time passed slowly and I thought of what I should do, get some help or hope that my sisters will end this. I hated being their maid. That was degrading. Why did this happen? I thought about what has happened until then, just dressing up and being their maid as well as weekly beatings. Not too bad except the beatings. What was the purpose of that? I guess to show me who was the boss. No, they liked beating me; that gave them pleasure, but who was responsible for this? I hated thinking that my sisters were doing this by themselves. Well, as I thought about this, the time to wake up came and 5 minutes later Sandra unlocked me. I dressed and made up my face up to go to school. I looked like a catholic schoolgirl again. After 30 minutes, Sandra and Sally escorted me to school. I knew that I would be teased again, but that would be all. As I walked into school, everyone expected this and I still heard snickers and dumb comments. My first class was music. Since that was the last class, she was giving the final today. I would play the piano for my final. I played my favorite song, Die Fahne Hoch. After 20 minutes, I played it. The teacher thought it was good and I got to leave. After class she took me aside, congratulated me and we parted. She had no idea what I played. Well, my next class was in the gym. I decided not to attend. I just sat alone outside and thought about Heydrich. I wanted to know more about him. So I saw the history professor since he was in his office. I walked in and he was surprised to see me, not the way I was dressed, since everyone thought that I was a sissy or something. He hadn't expected to see me until one o'clock. We talked for an hour and a half about Heydrich and other subjects. Then we parted. I had a different opinion of him. 'Evacuation to the east' and the 'Wannsee conference,' He was the face of evil. After that, we all had lunch. I had an interesting idea. I should make some allies that could help me if I needed help. I knew someone who might help me, Tiffany Reed. She was a cheerleader and she had many friends. She was there with the rest of the cheerleaders. She was nice and friendly. So I walked up to her and asked, "Hey Tiffany, can we talk?" We knew each other and had been friends. Nicely, she said, "Why that would be nice, Michael." She was too nice to call me by a girl's name, and was not comfortable with the idea, but that would have to change. I said, "Please, call me Michelle. I would like that. I find that I like this better." She had a funny look on her face when she asked, "Are you for real, this isn't your sister talking?" I nod. She said, "Well, OK? Michelle, what do you want?" Well, it was time now for the big question. I said, "I have been wondering about cheerleading. I wanted to know if you think that I could be one." She raised an eyebrow and said, "Well, cheerleading tryouts are in June. You could tryout then, and I am sure that your family could find a way to get you in by then. We could be in the same team. You are really getting into this." Jennifer, the head cheerleader asked me to sit down with them all, and we talked for the rest of the hour. I went through the rest of the day and waited stupidly for Sandra and Sally to take me home. They both met me outside and we started home, but there was something about them that had me worried. They were acting different somehow. I couldn't figure it out. As we walked home I saw four boys from my sisters' high school football team approach us. They were all seniors. My wonderful sisters walk away from me and smiled sadistically. As they approached me, I tried to run, but one of them tackled me and started to beat me. After I was beaten and offered no more resistance, they started to strip me and all of them raped me and did other disgusting stuff. After several hours of horror and unspeakable acts, Sandra took me home while making condescending comments about how much of a slut I was becoming. I was numb and horrified and didn't give a damn anymore. Then I dressed as their maid, served them and went to bed. That is how I remember it, as my mind was mostly gone and I didn't even know what was happening. While I was in bed, I started to think about it. A dark change overcame me. A powerful hatred and rage started to take over. I was afraid that my sisters' treatment would have dire consequences for their future. Sadly, my question was answered. If I acted like a girl and tried to be their sister for real, it wouldn't make us closer. I really acted like a girl and got into the part, but it was all in vain. I really was good and played the part, but it didn't do any good. I realized a part of me that had been suppressed and now it was released. I did enjoy being a girl. They had missed a genuine opportunity, and there would be no second chances. They were doomed. I would get vengeance. For the time being, they had the power over me. I would watch their moves and wait for them to make a mistake and when they tripped, I would be there to catch them. I didn't want to stay in this house anymore. I would go to school tomorrow. I would take care of them on my own way. I was really pissed off. I hated being little Michelle, the submissive girl, but didn't want to be Michael either, as I really enjoyed being a girl. I would find an appropriate name later. I had to be a sissy and make them think that I liked it. I was not broken yet. Paul would pay tomorrow. I would make him pay. I would go to school and slip out and stalk him until he was alone. He was big, so I needed something. The question was if I should kill him. No, that would raise questions and get me incarcerated. That would not be good; he needed to be taught a lesson in humility. Having a sissy kick his ass should be a good lesson. It was one o'clock and I need some sleep. I couldn't run away as I was locked inside and handcuffed to my bed. I woke up sweating and in terror around four o'clock and couldn't get back to sleep. I had just thought about what should be done. I was helpless if I was in the house. I was outnumbered and my biggest sister was always a few seconds away. They weren't stupid, but they would make errors; their biggest so far was having me raped. I would never forgive them. They would all pay dearly. I made sure that I didn't shower or wash. All of the evidence was still here. He had better not report my assault. At 6:40, Sandra came in and asked if I wanted to go to school. I nodded, and I was unhooked. Then I got dressed in the uniform I always dressed in and was escorted to school. I walked in and waited for them to leave, and then I slipped out and followed them to their high school to look around to find Paul, the rapist. I approached stealthily and I found him. He was popular with everyone. I just waited and he slipped inside to go to class. I didn't enter, but I waited outside. He didn't have a chance in hell. I had a baton for him. I was an expert in that weapon. Around 3 hours later, he came out alone. I waited until he was away from school and I called him seductively. He saw me. Now he would pay. He had no idea what was about to happen. He either thought that I was gay or dumb. As he approached, I waited until he was close enough and I struck with blinding speed. I pulled the baton in an upward ark that caught him across the chin, and I brought it down on the top of his head. He fell backward, then I slammed the baton across his face and hit him over and over until he was broken and pleading. I kicked him until he rolled over and he was on all fours covering his head. I looked into his face and told him that he had better not tell anyone about this, as his crime was worse than mine; he would go to prison for rape and would have to register when he got out. I had just commenting assault. Who had committing the worse crime? I walked beside him and banged the butt of the baton in a hammer strike into the small of his back. I heard a sickening crack and he went limp. He would never walk again; his football career was over. I was going to go to a hospital to get my rape evidence logged in. I stood in triumph when I heard clapping and someone saying, "Good job boy, you kicked his ass good." I looked behind me and saw several men in black suits, and I wonder what they were. They were not police, maybe the FBI. I asked, "Who are you, and what do you want?" One said, "I am Richard and I work for your sister. You need to come with us, please." There was no way on earth I was going to do that. I backed up and said, "No way, do you have any idea what she is doing with me, and what about him, I didn't kill him." He said, "You ARE coming with us, we can do this the easy way or the hard way, but you are coming with us. He will get help and I have a good idea that he deserved it, so if we leave, your name will be left out of this." Just then, a hand grabbed my shoulder, I looked behind me, and I saw several more men that I didn't see before. I was led into a black car and drove away. I asked, "Where are we going, and who are you?" One said, "We work for your sister, and have been instructed to tell you nothing." What in the world was happening? We drove for a while until we stopped at an airport. I was led out. I saw Alexandra and all of my sisters standing there and I asked, "Why are we at La Guardia airport? The twins had me raped yesterday." Alexandra said, "You shouldn't have dressed so provocatively; now you know how your sister felt. Running away, I see. That wasn't smart at all, so I see that you need some training. That has already been arranged. I have enrolled you in a school in Eastern Europe for unruly boys. These men work for my security. We walked through the airport and went outside. I saw several aircraft, two of which had Groves Industry's in large letters on them. Alexandra said, "These are our mother's companies, Groves Oil and Groves Aviation, the ones she created. When she died she willed them to me. I own 55 percent of the stock in all of them, so I run those companies. Your sisters and I are moving to Kentucky after we tour the companies, but you are going to eastern Germany to learn to be a well mannered young lady. When you come home you will serve us." Then one of the men dragged me onto a smaller plane. I was strapped in, and we started taxiing out onto the runway. After proper clearance, we picked up speed until we were off to hell. It was a boring 9-hour flight. We started dropping, and, after several wide turns from our holding pattern, we made the final turn, our landing gear dropped and we met the runway. From looking outside, I could tell that we were in Frankfurt. We got out and I got into an older car. We drove for several hours until we approached an old Victorian house that looked more like a prison with high walls around it. Being in the middle of nowhere, it was meant to destroy any attempt at escape. But even with me being in a foreign country without identification I wasn't helpless, as I did speak German and I assumed we were near Frankfurt. I was taken out of the car. I saw several women and my 'chauffeur,' then they spoke. The chauffeur asked, "This is the boy, Michael, that Alexandra told you about?" One woman said, "This is 'he.'" She giggled at my appearance in a cute dress and said, "We are to train him in domestic chores and how to be a proper lady." He said, "That is what Alexandra wants. Can you do that?" The lady said, "Of course, and we can use any disciplinary measures we feel appropriate?" He nodded and got in the car and drove away while the two ladies spoke together. One said, "Das ist der amerikanische Junge Michael, Alexandra zahlt uns, um zu schulen." *This is the American boy Michael, Alexandra is paying us to train.* Another said, "Er ist s??. Wir k?nnen Ihn gut erziehen." *He is sweet. We can educate him well * This was interesting; they had no idea that I knew exactly what they were saying, but I listened and the person who I think is in control said, "Er soll Ihren Dienstm?dchen sein, und Alexandra bezahlte uns gut. Wir k?nnen ebenso hart als Ma?nahmen gebrauchen, wie wir uns notwendig f?hlen." *He is to be their maid and Alexandra paid us well. We can use measures as harsh as we feel is necessary. * I decided that I had had enough. I was to be their maid and that was ridiculous, so I said, "Das ist ein Witz. Ich will nicht ein Dienstm?dchen sein." *This is a joke. I do not want to be a maid. * Now I did it, they were all looking at me in stunned silence at what I said. The first said, "Sprichts Du Deutsch? Ich bin Adelle und diese Frau ist Eva. Hast Du das verstanden?" *You there speak German? I am Adelle and this woman is Eva. Do you understand? * Knowing I had little alternative, unless I wanted to be hurt, I did what I needed. I agreed with them. So I curtseyed like a little sissy and said, "Ich verstehe Herrin Adelle, Ich werde mich wie ein gutes kleines M?dchen benehmen und lernen, was Sie wollen. Ich werde allen Ihren Instruktionen ohne Frage folgen." .*I understand mistress Adelle; I will behave like a good little girl and learn what you want. I will follow all of your instructions without question. * They both smiled at me with a warm smile, not that damned evil smile I got from my sisters. I thought that I would like it there; these weren't evil women. I decided to try my hand and I asked, "Can you take me to Nuremberg so I can see Zeppelin Field, and also could we see Berlin. I always wanted to see those places. I added for safety." I hope I haven't overstepped my bounds and offended you. I always wanted to see those places." Adelle said, "We may accommodate you if you behave yourself and do not resist us. We will not do anything sexual to you, but you will learn to be maid and then we may take you to see those places." With that said, I curtseyed, thanked them and stood there waiting for them like a demure little girl. Then Adelle told me to walk to the house with her, and so I went inside. To tell the truth, I probably liked it there, more than at home. I wondered what it would take to stay there forever, or if I could request asylum there. As I walked through the door, I saw a large living room that looked very feminine. There were 2 older women and 2 younger women inside. Adelle said, "This young woman is Anna and this is Chrissie. They are German. And now girls, this is Michelle." They all introduced themselves to me and I suspected they were students also. Then she introduced me to the other adult women, she said in German, "This is an American girl named Michelle." Then she said in English, "Michelle, this is Elena and Dianna. They only speak German, but that shouldn't be a problem for you." Dianna glared at me with icy eyes; Dianna seemed creepy and sadistic while the rest seemed good and wanted to 'reform these boys.' Dianna just liked to hurt or humiliate them and didn't give a damn about helping them at all. As bold as I could be, I walked up to Dianna, curtseyed, and said in perfect German, "If there is something about me that you don't like, I will try to work on it." Then I added, " Please, I will cooperate. I can learn." She kept looking at me with that damn icy look, and said back in German, "Oh, you will learn, you little worm." "I really want to learn, I will be no problem," I said to her. After that, her look softened a little, and the other students looked stunned. They all seemed terrified of her. I think that I made a good impression on her, as she looked at me a little, just a little, nicer. Then the one called Adelle walked up to me and said, "You are a bold little one, just walking up to the meanest women and assuring her that you want to learn from her. She is here to keep everyone in line and administer punishment. She is not a teacher, nor would I let her. Now, lets get you in your room and settled in." As I walked away, I heard Anna telling Dianna, "As nice is he looks, he gives me creeps. It's like I was in the presence of evil, I think this boy is a pure evil." I looked at Adelle and asked, "What does that mean? I'm not evil." She looked at me and said, "I will talk to them about that, but you do have a look about you that look makes my skin crawl. But, still, you are not bad. Now lets get going." As I went into what I assumed was my room, I was flattened. It looked like a little girl's room and I asked, "What is this? I know I am to be a girl, but at least could it be age appropriate?" She giggled and said, "This will do. Now get some rest because you will have a lot of work to do tomorrow." She left and I just lay down on the bed in my incredibly frilly room and wondered what would happen tomorrow. After several hours, the door opened. Dianna came in and sat down beside me. She said, " You got Anna in trouble, but I agree with her. Your boldness hit me; I kind of like you. I heard that you want to see Zeppelin Field. Do you think that you are some kind of savior? I could work with you. You are special, but your power is just there and not focused into something, but then, of course, you are only 12." What in hell was this crazy woman saying to me? I looked at her and asked, "What are you saying, that I am evil and you like that?" Dianna said, "What? No, you're not evil; you just have that look and aura of absolute confidence and will, but power and conviction doesn't make you evil. It is clear that you are going places." Adelle came in and said in a stern voice to Dianna, "You leave that poor boy alone, now." Dianna whispered into my ear, "Soon, you will see that I am right, then see me. You will be great." Then she got up and left. Adelle said, "Are you OK there? Don't listen to her; you are a fine boy. Now get some rest while I have a good talk with Dianna." Oh man, she was going to rip Dianna a new one and I had better rest. Could Dianna have been right? It was hard to think so, but just maybe she was right. Well, I needed to put these thoughts out of my mind and rest. There would be time to figure this out later. I woke up early that morning, and 20 minutes later Adella came in and looked at me. She said, "You are already awake. Get dressed. Lets eat breakfast and start on this day's instructions." Then she left while I started to dress. There was this lovely blue skirt and pink blouse laid out for me. I put them on, made my face up and walked downstairs to see what was up. There, Adelle told me to set the table and see what I could do to help with breakfast. I did that, walked into the kitchen, and asked Chrissie what she needed. She showed me what I could do. I started making sausages and kept an eye on the eggs. After that was all done, we sat down and Dianna sat beside me. I must have fascinated her. Adelle started off with a prayer; we all bowed our heads. After the prayer we started to eat. Chrissie and Dianna started talking about Germany. Dianna was telling Chrissie about the good days of her father and how things were better back then. Chrissie, a compassionate soul, said a stupid thing about how they didn't respect human rights, the persecution of the poor Jews, and how they needed to be respected. Dianna couldn't stand that and stood up. Spitting her food from her mouth, she raged, "We're talking about Jews, here. They have no rights! I thought you knew better. I thought you respected Germany!" This woman knew what she wanted and I didn't want her to hate me so I said, "what is up with you, what did the Jews do that made you hate them so." Dianna was looking at me and said, "I will tell you and then we can be friends." I told her that I would like that. She was cool and cunning. I wanted to stay there with her. So I turned to Dianna and asked, "Can I stay here with you and be your daughter in Germany?" She giggled and said that it would be hard, as Alexandra was my legal guardian and she couldn't keep me. In a panic I said that I could tell the police what she did with me, request asylum, renounce my American citizenship, and apply for German citizenship. She smiled and said that she would think about it. One thing was clear; she liked me and would try anything she could to help me out. She was an ally. I had blown it with Adella, but I had Dianna. After that outburst from me, most of the students and teachers were distant. Adelle told me that she didn't think she could help me with my lessons, but that she would try. For the next several hours I got 'instruction' on how to be more feminine, walking, walking in high heals, sitting, and other feminine manners. Unfortunately, I learned it faster than they intended or were prepared for, and I saw frustration in Adelle, but we went through the whole thing as planned. After that, we started learning makeup, but Adelle quickly found out that that was useless, as my sisters had made sure I could do that with my eyes shut. I went through the whole day learning just about nothing, I made lunch and dinner by myself, and went to bed with Adelle's face red with anger. It wasn't my fault that I knew just about everything they could teach me. She didn't take it out on me. I lay in my bed frustrated, wondering what would happen tomorrow. Would they send me home or keep me here? Dianna opened the door and sat down beside me and said, "You are a VERY bright little boy, about the brightest boy we ever had here, as well as the strangest. You are more of a girl than a boy. That is frustrating to Adelle, as her instructions were learned faster than she could handle." She continued, "We know about your sisters and will keep you here as long as we can, so don't worry about that. I have been thinking about what you said, about staying here and your cute suggestions about asylum, and it could work. I have something I want to give you." She reached into her purse, took out a round pin, and handed it to me. The pin had a somewhat faded swastika on it and words said "National-Sozialistische DAP" around the edges. It looked like it had been taken care of even though it looked like it was around 50 years old. Dianna said, "It is a official pin of the National Socialist Party; it was my father's and he was a member of the schutzstaffel, or SS. He was an ss-standartenfuehrer or equivalent to the American rank of colonel and surrendered to the Red Army in 44. He spent over 10 years in a Soviet gulag being 'reeducated.' When he got out, he married and had me. He is gone now, but this was his pin. How do you like it?" I said, "It is cool, but why are you giving me this?" She said, "You will be great someday. I have a feeling about you; your eyes say it all. Your sisters are making a huge mistake and will pay dearly when your time comes, but now lets learn about organization." Then she got out a handbook and we started studying about the party hierarchy and organization. She read it and we talked about it for several hours until she yawned and said, "I am tired. I need some sleep." She left when the door closed I said to myself, "What a kook, but I better play along so I don't piss her off." Then I fell asleep. Around 6 in the morning Dianna woke me up. I sat up in my pink nighty and she said, "Your sisters are trying to destroy you and ruin your life. You must not let them. If you must go back home, don't give in, stay alert and wait for them to trip up. They will do their worst, but we all know that their worst is nothing compared to YOUR worst. It isn't your sisters' fault, but those who alone are responsible for the moral decay in our society, the cause of all of our misfortune. You know who is to blame. It is your destiny and you will triumph in the end; that is assured. Now I must go, but I will be back tonight and we can study more." I had a good idea who she blamed, she had said it during breakfast and I didn't believe her. The cause of all our misfortune? I thought not. Well, in around 30 minutes I needed to get up, so I would just lay back down and wait for the time to get up. Adelle came in right at six thirty and told me that it was time to make breakfast. I got up, dressed, and did everything I needed to do before breakfast. At seven, I walked to the kitchen and started breakfast with Chrissie. Chrissie was very cold toward me, as were most other students. They feared me and I understood why, my relationship with Dianna whom everyone was afraid of. I started with the eggs and Polish Sausages while Chrissie sat the table and just watched me cook. She said, "You are a good cook, much better than I." I smiled, saying, "I did that for my mother a lot. Where do you live?" She said, "I lived in Leipzig. How about you." I said, "New York, but soon I think I will live in Kentucky unless I can stay here. I don't want to go back home; they sent me here and they are very mean." She said, "I hope you can stay also." I said, "Why are you nice? I thought that you hated me since I started talking with Dianna, and my explosion during breakfast." She said, "You concern me, but I may as well talk to you since you are here." I said, "Well, this is fun. I sense that I am not liked much here except for Dianna." I was actually having a good time. She said, "Why do you like her so much? She gives me the creeps and always calls me names." That was a hard question, I could relate to her and she had a good interest in me, so I told her that. I took the eggs off the skillet and Chrissie, the sausage. I took them to the table and sat down. Adelle started the prayer, and we ate, but this time, silently. After that, Adelle said that we needed to call Alexandra and give her a report on my progress. So, we made the call and she talked to her. Then she gave the phone to me and I talked to Alexandra until I realized that I needed to speak English, as I got used to German so much. Therefore, after dumbfounding her with German, I told her how much I liked it here and being feminine. After her usual condescending asshole comments about her dumbass brother, she hung up, and Adelle said in English, "What a fucking bitch!" I broke out laughing. Eight weeks passed, and I learned a lot about femininity. My mannerisms improved, but, actually, there wasn't a lot of room for improvement. Fortunately, Dianna taught me loads about the darker areas of my study that would serve me well later; I was absolutely sure of it. I woke up at around six in the morning. Dianna came in and told me that we were going to see the places that I had requested, as I had complied with everything and didn't give any trouble. I was ecstatic. I was instructed to dress up nicely. Dianna and Adelle would take me to Nuremberg and later to Berlin. We would spend the whole week touring those places as we were in Frankfurt, near the Polish border and Nuremberg is around a few hours away. After breakfast and getting dressed, Dianna, Adelle, Chrissie, Eva, and I got in a car and started for Nuremberg. We would drive all day and part of the next day to get there. It was a hard, boring trip. We spent most of the trip sleeping or talking. Dianna and I talked about Nuremberg's glory days; the yearly rallies at Zeppelin Field, and the cathedral of light. We finally arrived and got out in front of a massive stadium called Zeppelin Field. Dianna and I stared at it and the corruption of it as a soccer field, but that was ignored and we just stared at it with absolute fascination and awe. I walked up and stood on the podium where the fuhrer and Goebbels stood and gave their speeches. As I stood there, I felt a power course threw me. It felt electric. I felt destiny, and I could see in my mind's eye hundreds of thousands of people standing in rigid columns on the parade ground looking at me for leadership and salvation. I started speaking as forcefully as I could, "a new era of peace and prosperity is upon us. The dawn of the thousand year Reich has begun. Sieg hail." then I stepped down. Dianna looked at me with awe even though I was only 12, but everyone else looked at me in horror. I got down and we looked around for several hours and left. We saw the rest of Nuremberg: the place where they were the war criminals tried and hung after the second world war, the courthouse, and the whole city. After several days of driving around, we went to Berlin and saw the Reichstag. That was awesome. Then we went home, and only Dianna and other staff spoke to me the rest of the stay there. Well, twelve weeks had passed and I actually had a good time. The only thing I learned, except a few things about being a girl and being a better maid was a whole lot about running a political party and National Socialism. Every night Dianna would come into my room and read me parts of the nsdap handbook. Then we would talk about it. A man from Alexandra's company arrived to take me back home. Dianna looked like she wanted to kill him, and she looked capable. Alexandra's man and I got in a car and drove several hours to Frankfurt airport, where we got out. I saw Dianna stalking us, and, as we walked through the airport and started walking outside, I decided that it would be good to try something. Quickly, I kicked his kneecap, kneed him in the groin, and I ran the palm of my hand into his nose and blood ran out. I ran to several nearby police officers and got ones attention and said, "I am an American citizen. I ask for asylum. This man has attacked me and will attack me in America. I do not want to go back to America. I ask for asylum." Well, after I asked for asylum I was taken to a police station and sense I was an American they brought a English translator in to translate and I gave my whole statement and told them of my sisters mistreatment, the beatings, the rape, forced to be there maid and crossdressing. I told them the whole damn thing step by step slowly and I could see the effect on them. After several hours of getting my statement and they left to confer and get an official from the German government and check who I was. After several hours several official looking people, two women and one man came in and the women spoke, "I am Elena from the department of the state and I read your statement in whole and I see really no reason why the German government should get involved. You oppression is not administered by the American government and your situation is a police matter that the American police should and is capable of handling. You are Michael groves, the son of Susan Groves former president and CEO of GROVES OIL and GROVES AVIATION and she is deceased and your bigger sister is your legal guardian and she is mistreating you." Stifling back tear I nodded and she continued, "well as she is your guardian it would be tantamount to kidnapping to hold you as we can not hold American citizens without a good reason and we have no good reason. You have done nothing wrong." I spoke up and said, "what if I renounce my citizenship, I DON'T want to go back to America and be with my sister." She said, " you can not as you are a minor, but you will not have to go back to Alexandra as we made your situation known to the American authorities and the state department and right now police are probably arresting your sisters and if you want the charges to stick you must go back and corroborate them as your constitution demands the right to confront the accuser." God damnit, there argument was right and flawless, I had to go back but what if I don't give a damn about them going to jail, what if I just wanted to guarantee that I would be safe. What if the trial went the wrong way and they were found not guilty and she some how got custody back and then there would be hell to pay. Going back was a gigantic risk and I guess I didn't have a choice, they were refusing to keep me and I would be transferred back rather I liked it or not. Therefore, I agreed to go back and they left. After several hours the woman came back and several more people came back and one said, "I'm from the American state department and this is the deputy ambassador to Germany and we are here to escort you back to America and we have been apprised of you situation of you sisters and you will be removed from them and there guardianship has been removed, you are a ward of the state now so lets get going." I asked, " have they been arrested and could they get out and kill me." He said, "There is a restraining order against them, so not legally and they have been arrested for abuse and accessory to rape but we need to know who raped you and we need to examine you." I don't think that the rape charge will stick as there is no physical evidence but I must try anyway. I was taken out and we got on a plane and flew to New York and giving to child services and stayed in a foster home. There I was told that the arraignment was in several days for my sister's charges. They would find a nice place for me to live tomorrow but I would have to stay here for the day. The days passed rather slowly and I was placed in a better house with a woman who seemed to give a damn about me. The next day I was to appear in court for Alexandra's arraignment. The district attorney wants to speak with me before the arraignment so my guardian took me to his office at city hall and I waited until I was invited in. there he told me what to expect and suggested that it would be beneficial if I took the stand and that could be in several weeks to several months and there was plenty of time to prep me but there was a problem. I wouldn't give out the names of the boys and they have a doctor that will testify with documents that will say that I am delusional and I have schizophrenia and have motioned to dismiss all charges and return me back, and the judge is seriously considering that as the documentation is convincing. God damnit again, I should have staid there as it seems that they will win. We showed up on the court date and the judge seemed angry and he gave a long winded speech about how I and the DA was wasting the courts time with these lies and dismissed the charges with prejudice and I am to be given back to Alexandra, that means that he wouldn't consider this again even if more evidence is given at a later date.