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Life And Choices free porn video
Life and Choices
COPYRIGHT 2004
There can exist at any given time in this world one mind to one body.
There are exceptions to all rules though. Some folks or at least one
existed of two minds in one body for a time. This person is Jay Hall.
Of course, Jay has never realized this, unless you count his dreams.
Although these facts should be painfully obvious to him, he fails to
realize that his entire state of being is a paradox to the universe,
and one that should soon be corrected.
Jay had a relatively happy life as far as his home life was concerned
so far in his life. Although he was a rather large individual, that is
to say he was quite overweight; his family showed him all the love they
had to offer. It was the rest of his life that was a problem. A big
problem. If his family gave it their all, loved and cared without
question, then everyone else showed as much hatred and spite with the
same passion, if not more. Though he would not admit it, it was as much
his fault as it was anyone else's, being anti-social. He could make
friends or stand to be around those friendly to him. He wanted a
girlfriend, to be liked, but was unable to bring himself to ask even
the humblest of questions of any girl. When the time seemed to be right
and he got nearly enough motivation to move into a relationship, he
would always think of some reason to stop and put himself in check.
Generally, this was an absolute fear of rejection, something of an
intense phobia for him.
Jay was fairly intelligent, and though he knew this, he thought of
himself as pretty damn stupid. He was unable to overcome a simple fear,
something that was supposedly only in his head. So everyday, he
tormented himself and regressed further into his mind so that he would
not have to face this fear. His days went on like this from the time he
realized his desire for a relationship with a girl or woman, as is now
the case, about age 14. Day after day, the torment raged on in his
heart and soul, and he would delve into the depths of his mind to a
point in which he could not be reached, to such a point that social
interactions were simply a reaction to stimulus. Graduation from high
school took place and brought him out of his mind long enough to
experience regret for being unwilling or unable to know some of these
folks he had spent the last four years with.
He moved onto college, though stayed at home. He went to a rather large
college where he did not see the same folks from day to day except in
some smaller classes, and even those he never saw again after the
class. Interactions at this point were few and far between, allowing
some reprieve from his thoughts and fears. Soon, this too was finished
and a career presented itself to Jay. He had an opportunity to move on
to a position where he assumed he would be content and have purpose in
life. He buried himself in his work, taking away his only source of
joy, his family. If it is even possible, he became more introverted.
This brings us to the situation as it exists today.
It was beginning to fell like an average day to Jay Hall. The day had
dragged on into the night, once again without him noticing until late
in the evening. He closed down his computer and turned off his cell
phone and pager, and headed towards his car and home. Halfway home, he
realized that he was in the wrong lane on the highway and swerved into
the other lane, nearly hitting the vehicle in his blind spot, or so it
seemed. The remainder of the commute was uneventful as always. He
parked his car and headed into the apartment that he currently called
home and sat down at his computer. He always checked his email and
browsed several message boards every night. Tonight though, he turned
on his monitor and found that he was beyond tired. He turned off the PC
and proceeded directly to bed.
As soon as his head hit the bed, he began to dream. He dreamt as
clearly as though he was awake. This immediately stuck Jay as odd, as
he never seemed to dream in such a manner or so clearly. He had dreamed
before, but mostly they were vague emotions or brief glimpses of Joy
that never seemed to coalesce into something he recognized. Tonight, it
was like the sky on a cold winter night, crisp and precise. A being
arrived that he could barely see, much less comprehend. It spoke, yet
it did not speak. He heard and felt the being speaking to and through
him.
"Jay Hall, tonight we have realized a paradox in the universe as you
know it," it spoke/empathed. "You are the cause and the effect, and the
solution."
"Hey, what?s all this mean?" He tried to speak but the thought rushed
through him and rang clear as speech. "This is a dream, but I've never
had a dream that I could even remember more than being vague and murky.
Why is this so clear and just what are you?"
"I am nothing and everything, you could call me a guardian or an angel,
but neither really describes me. What I am cannot be accurately
portrayed by any language. As to the dream, it isn't..."
"What?! How can this not be a dream? Right now I'm in the bed sleeping,
I remember going to sleep! But I seem to being devoid of feeling, like
I'm in my own mind," he thought, interruption the being.
"As I was saying, this is not a dream. Your existence is a paradox and
you could compare it to some sci-fi concept of a rip in space and time.
This doesn't accurately portray the problem, but it does give you an
understanding, doesn't it?"
"Yes, but how would you know that I would..."
"Because I am, and I understand you and all that exists. This is enough
chatter; let?s get down to our duty."
"OK," he said without a trace of emotion.
"The problem is," said the being as it took a feminine, familiar tone,
"that you are possessed of two minds in one body. One of which is right
for your body, and the other which is hidden but causes much stress to
you and the universe. These dreams that you have, they are a direct
communication from your other mind, but you are unable to comprehend.
Also, most of the stresses and problems you have had since a time in
which you are unable to remember relate to this mind. These conflicting
minds cause you to be unable to function in the real world, unless you
immerse yourself in the mind that fits this body." She paused for a
moment. "It?s very likely that the mind that you exist in consciously
and the other conflict second by second, causing the social anxieties
that plague you."
"But if this is true, why don't I know about it? Why am I unable to
grasp the situation and take control?" He 'thought' rapidly. "Knowing
what I have done and how smart I am, I should be able to beat this and
move on to a happy life"
"It is because of the 'tear' that you are unable to 'take control'."
She said, her form beginning to solidify and become more like a human
female. "You are not in control, nor have you been. This is what I am
here to rectify. Try to remember these dreams. You should be able to
recall much more in this state."
"OK, but first I need to know where or when I am..." He stuttered a bit
"I just can't seem to get a good hold on it, but it feels like I did
earlier tonight."
"Do not try to reason this out, as there is no reason to it. You are at
the time in which you thought you dodged the vehicle next to you. In
fact, I removed you from that situation as the 'rip' would have been
much larger and harder to fix had time continued. You are in a spectral
realm where every second lasts an eternity. You have reached a point
where you must choose between the mind you know and the one that has
endured since the moment you were born. Now, if you think on those
dreams, you should now remember them."
"But... but... but..." he sighed. "I think I understand... you pulled
me out as I was to hit the car. But I don't understand why I remember
past that moment and up until this point?"
"It's because your mind must continue to a point where your can
comprehend this realm, ergo sleep and dreams. Once your mind as asleep,
you can understand being here without going insane. Those memories were
fabricated by your mind akin to a phantom limb of an amputee. I would
like to continue to explain these things to you, but the 'rip' is not
delimited by your concept of time. It continues as we speak, and is
only delayed now that you are here! On to your dreams..."
"But..." he felt her sense of urgency and began with the dream. "Ok, I
see my life as a child, but I am different. I see and feel myself doing
things that I have never done. I am playing with baby dolls and wearing
a skirt or dress. What is going on here?!"
"As I suspected, your 'dreams' are actually visions of your other
mind's life, as it would have happened. Please, continue."
At first, he was unwilling to continue, but then he began to feel the
joy feeling that was always his dreams and continued. "I see my first
day of school, and it seems to feel the same. I enjoyed school until
high school."
"This is good; please skip ahead a few years"
"Ok, I see fifth grade. I'm a cheerleader?! WOW, I've never even
remotely liked sports, but I really seem to be enjoying this!"
"This is the first major divergence, move ahead a few more years," she
commented and commanded without emotion.
"Now it?s the first day of high school. It seems like I'm not doing so
well in some of my better classes. Ok, now I'm at halfway, and I'm
still a cheerleader! Oh, and I have quite a few friends!"
"This is the major divergence; this is where your two minds began to
conflict and cause major problems. You can stop or continue from here"
"I think I'll continue and see what else is in store for the other me!
I really wish I could be this happy in my real life..."
"Well, regardless of how we fix this problem, the battles will cease
and you will return to this point to continue your life in happiness.
Do you still want to continue?"
"Yes, I'll move on! OK, now I have a boyfriend and I see why, I seem to
be quite a looker! Now its graduation... but..."
"But what?"
"But I'm watching with his family," he said with quite a few tears. "It
would seem that even my other life isn't very happy"
"Well, we have another divergence! It seems that your other life is
suffering as you have from these battles. I may have some options for
you, but we should now continue until the present? she said with a
little trepidation.
"Ok, but I don't think I want to any more," he said, nearly sobbing. He
cleared his tears and his head and continued. "Ok, now it?s about a
year later. I am married now to my same boyfriend and I am a hair
dresser. That?s odd; I seem to enjoy my life and my job, even though I
feel so many regrets. This is so odd," he said, puzzled. "How could I
be happy with no education and hope of any career beyond what I'm
already doing?"
"I'm not sure about you humans, but you should continue and see what
has brought you to this point." He hesitated for a few minutes. "You
really should see what has happened and know that when we fix the
'rip,' this will no longer be set in stone, nor will your life!"
"OK, I'm... ready." He breathed in deeply and sighed. "Now it?s earlier
this morning and I just found out that I am pregnant. I call my husband
and he is ecstatic! Maybe this isn't so bad! I finish up with my last
customer and head for home. Wait just a minute... this seems very
familiar... I am going down the same road and attempt to pass the same
car... and then it ends!? What happened?!"
"This is the convergence, our opportunity to find and resolve the
problem. It seems that your two lives were in sync or at least in tune
with one another until your first day of high school. This is the major
fault and the start of your two minds' conflicts. As you can tell, it
caused different problems for each mind, one being real and the other
is not. We must repair the 'rip' and to do so, we'll need to merge your
minds into one. You will return to that time and relive from that point
on. Your choice is the body in which to continue."
"I think I know which..."
"You need to know your options and the results of this choice," she
interrupted. "You already know the choices, but I will recap them for
you so you completely understand. One, you can choose to be male, and
be happy in your intelligence and the ease of these things. Because the
conflict will no longer be present, you will be able to function in
society and life for you will be very different, but still somewhat the
same. With this choice, you will still loose the contact you enjoyed as
a child with your home family stays and you will likely never have a
long term relationship with a woman. You will have lifelong friends
that will always be there for you." She paused in thought for a few
minutes. "The other choice is to become the female version of yourself
and more social. You will have many friends and loves. You will have
passion for many things, but you will not have it easy learning. You
will struggle and likely drop out, unless you make some hard choices.
You will have a better bond with your family and will eventually marry
and have a wonderful family of your own. You have to loose that which
you hold dear at this point, your massive intellect. Granted, you will
by no means be stupid, but it will not be nearly as easy as before, and
you will find things to get in the way." She paused for another second
or two. "So your choices are intelligent man, or passionate woman. It
is yours to decide, but you must decide one way or the other."
"Are these futures set in stone?"
"The general outline is, but things can change. As a man, you could
drop out of school and do construction work, though you would not find
it an easy choice to make. You may find love, but it will be very hard
to find. As a woman, you will find school stressful and taxing. It will
be a difficult decision to stay in school and move on to college, but
you can change this. This will not cost your love, but it will delay it
by at least 10 years. There are still many choices to make in ether
life, but there is a pattern that you could follow and have nary a
problem."
He thought on these choices for what might have been seconds, but just
as well could have been years. "At first, I thought that my education
and ease thereof was paramount in my life. It is still very important
but I have always desired a relationship with someone. I think that
would be more important than my ease on education."
"So have you made your decision?"
"I have."
"There is no need to speak it then, as it has already been set as soon
as you concluded it in your mind. You will sleep now. When you wake,
you will find yourself 14 again and on the first day of high school.
Your two minds will be as one, and the one you choose will be dominate.
The other with be there, but only as a small part. You will remember
this, but vaguely and you will know all that you need to know for
whatever changes have been made. Now... SLEEP!"
He woke up in his bed and remembered all of the experience and the
being. He looked around and found himself in his room from earlier in
life but things had been changed. He was now in a young girl's room,
though and through. He got out of bed and found that he was now a
'she.' The experience started to fade but she remembered the choice.
She knew that she was Holly Hall, and that this was the first day of
high school. She knew what to wear, she knew where to go, and she had
all that she needed. She remembered dully the choice and knew there
were important decisions to make, but did not know when. She cheerfully
got ready and began the first day of the rest of her life.
Emely
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