Suzie's New Life Chapter 5 free porn video

Chapter 5 A Night on the Town Before I knew it, it was Friday afternoon. I rushed home from school, took a quick shower and changed clothes just in time for Jennifer to pick me up. We arrived at the Total Look salon a few minutes early. As we walked in, I felt my stomach tie itself in knots. I had been there dozens of times for haircuts, but this was the first time as a girl. I remembered watching the women getting their hair and being jealous of them. I loved the sights and smells of being in the salon. I would always arrive early so I could watch the women get their hair colored, highlighted and permed. Now I am one of them, I started to relax. Sarah and Megan asked us to sit down as they were just finishing up with their clients. Soon Sarah came over and asked me to sit in her chair. She had an "I know you from somewhere" look on her face. "Hi Suzie, have you been in here..." She had a look of recognition on her face, "Robert is that you? What's going on?" I told her my whole story and that she probably would not see Robert again. I told her about Jennifer being my sister and our double date. We wanted to get our hair, nails and make-up done for tonight. "Well I must say that you look fantastic, who colored your hair?" "Jennifer did Sunday." "Well I think she did a very good job. Let us look at you. Do you realize that you have a little bit of beard growing back, would you like me to wax it for you? We also offer electrolysis here, if you are interested." "I will probably be taking you up on the electrolysis, but for now I would like you hot wax the hair my face and neck." She asked me what kind of hairstyle I wanted. I told her something causal with some loose curls and waves in it. She said she had the perfect style for me. She gave me a smock, with a vee neck, to put on. I went to the bathroom I took my blouse off and put on the smock. She took me to the sink, washed, and conditioned my hair. I went back to her chair and she rolled her cart full of hair rollers. Another woman, Pam, came over and started doing my nails. She asked if I wanted extensions put on and I said no I had to live with what I have for now. She touched up my nails with her file and emery board and put three coats of a bright red polish and a clear coat to help protect them. While Sarah was rolling my hair, she started asking me questions about my future. I told her the steps for gender reassignment and what would happen to me. She was quite interested. She said that she had another client that was going through the same thing. However, she was much older than I was and had been on hormones for several years. She said that if I were interested, she would put me in contact with Joan. I said yes I would love to. Sarah asked how I usually wore my hair when I was Suzie. I told that I liked curlier hair, but it takes so much time having to set it all of the time. She asked if I considered getting a perm. I said that I would love to, but until I was Suzie fulltime, I did not think it was practical. "If you want to, I can give you a body perm that will give you the wavy curly hair that you want. Then when you have to be Robert, just comb some mousse through it and tie your hair back into the ponytail you usually wear. Eventually I would love to layer your hair I think it would look better. But for now this will work very well." "Yes I would love it. You do not know how many times I have sat here seeing women getting perms and being very jealous of them. Yes I want to get one!" "Well you should wait at least and other couple of weeks to give your hair time to recover from coloring it. The last thing we want is to have your hair fall out because it has been over processed." She continued, "It would be best to schedule your appointment for a Friday afternoon because you won't be able to wash your hair for two days to let the curls to set. We can schedule it anytime you want." "I would like to make an appointment now." Sarah walked over to her calendar, "I have a 3:30, 4:00, or 4:30 on Friday November 6 or the 13th." I told her I would take the 3:30 on the 6th. She wrote my name down and went back to rolling my hair. When she finished, she put a hair net over my head. The pattern she used was a brick pattern, one that I had never tired. She had me lay down on a table face up. She smoothed the warm wax on a small area of my face, placed a cotton strip on it and when it cooled, rip! She went from one area to another waxing and ripping. When she was done with my face and neck, she asked me if I wanted her to get my chest and eyebrows. I said yes but that it could not have my eyebrows to extreme. She understood. Wax and rip and soon I was smooth again. She put some lotion on my face, took me and put me under a hair dryer. Jennifer's hair was finished. She had opted for the straight Jennifer Aniston look. Megan was working on her make-up. While I was drying, Sarah gave this cute guy a quick haircut. I could not help but notice that he was looking at me through the mirror's reflection. When I smiled and waved at him, he turned bright red and could not get out of there soon enough. Sarah had me come over to her chair and she rolled out a portable hair dryer for me. Once I was drying again, she started on my make-up. She asked what kind of look I wanted. I told her causal but sexy. We both laughed. She had me turned so I could not see myself in the mirror. She started with a liquid foundation on my face and neck, a subtle mauve eye shadow, brown eyeliner and mascara, cherry red lip-gloss and mauve blush. When she finished, my hair was dry. She took the net off my head and unrolled the rollers one at a time. She carefully combed out each curl and spritzed it with hair spray. After about 10 minutes, she was happy with the results, gave it another dose of hair spray and turned me around so I could see myself in the mirror. I told her that I loved the hairstyle and that is what I want my perm to look like. She said that is what she had in mind. I then noticed my eyebrows. They were definitely arched more than they had been, but I did not care I loved the way they looked. I could not wait to get them even thinner. The make-up made me look like I was at least 18 or 19. I bought a tube of the lip-gloss she had used to touch up my make up later that night. Sarah said that she really enjoyed having me here and only charged me for a wash and set, the lip-gloss and the manicure. Jennifer was finished and she looked fantastic. She also, looked to be 18 or 19. We paid our bills gave both Sarah and Megan good tips and went home. When we got home both mom and Laurie complimented us on our hair and make-up, though mom as a little concerned that we were trying to look a little too old. They both started to give us the dos and don'ts of dating. Soon they left us alone, Laurie got ready for her date with John and mom and Betty were going out to dinner themselves. Jennifer and I went to my room to finish getting ready. She brought a casual long sleeve knit dress, black panty hose and 2" heels. We went through my closet. I wanted to wear the dress that Laurie had bought me, but we both decided that it was too fancy. After looking at everything I had, we finally decided on a print rayon blouse, a full black skirt, black panty hose and 1 ?" heels. Just as we finished getting dressed I heard the doorbell ring, it was Rodger and Bill. All of a sudden, my stomach started tying itself in knots. I told Jennifer and she said that she was feeling the same way. I could hear mom talking with them, giving them the 3rd degree. I stuck my head out of my door and could see that both Rodger and Bill were squirming. I told Jennifer and we both laughed, relieving the tension. I told her that we should go out and "rescue" them. I could see that mom was enjoying herself, at their expense. We walked out and their jaws almost dropped to the floor when they saw us. Even mom looked a little surprised. We got the response that we wanted; everyone was impressed how we looked. We said goodbye and mom told us to be home before midnight. We walked out and Rodger pulled me aside while Bill and Jennifer walked out to Rodger's Blazer. He told me that Bill did not know anything about Robert and he would like to keep it that way. I said me too. We walked out and he held my door open for me as I got in. He and I sat in the front seat, Jennifer, and Bill in the rear seat. We decided to go and see Return to Paradise with Vince Vaughn and Anne Heche. Since Jennifer and I looked so nice, Rodger asked if we wanted to go to a "real" restaurant instead of pizza. We said sure and we went to a cozy little Italian restaurant down the street from the theater. We had to wait for about 15 minutes, so we sat down and chatted getting to know each other. Bill and Rodger were both going to UC Davis, had been friends since the 1st grade and were roommates. Before we knew it, our table was ready. They were perfect gentlemen and pulled out our chairs for us. The server came over and took our order. Jennifer and I both had the Chicken Marsalis, Rodger had lasagna and Bill had the veal scaloppini. Jennifer and I excused our selves to the Ladies room. Rodger and Bill immediately jumped up and pulled our chairs away for us. As we are walking away, I looked back and saw that both of them are staring at us walking away. I smiled and both of them immediately turned red and looked away. "Suzie, I can't believe it, you're so bad, embarrassing them like that and I love it." We used the ladies room and went over to touch-up our makeup. "Well Jen, what do you think of Bill? You too seem to be hitting it off." "Yes he is a really great guy. I was attracted to you because I saw you as another girl. But, with him it is because he is a guy!" "I know I feel the same way about Rodger. See how they have been stumbling over themselves to be real gentlemen." We talked for a couple of minutes and agreed that they would both make good boyfriends. We got back to the table just as they were bringing out the salads. The guys jumped up again and pulled out our chairs for us. It was very nice. As we ate dinner, we chatted about everything. We found out that all four of us had much in common, we liked to do many of the same things, and we had similar tastes in music. Soon dinner was over, Jennifer and I excused ourselves to the ladies room again while the guys took care of the bill. All Jennifer could talk about was Bill and how much she was starting to like him. She told me about her conversation with Laurie that first night she slept over. She said the Laurie had told her to keep her options open and that she just might like guys after all. "I guess she was right." We went out and the guys were waiting for us. I took Rodger's arm as we walked out. Again, they opened the doors for us, I was thinking that I could get used to this. As we were walking into the theater, we ran into another couple, John and Diane, who were Rodger and Bill's friends. We talked for a few moments. They were going to see the Why do Fools Fall In Love. We decided to meet after the movie and go and get a Coke? We went in and sat down, Jennifer and I sat next to each other and the guys sat on the ends. We talked until the movie started. I was hoping that Rodger would put his arm around me. Finally, after 15 minutes he stretched his arms and put it around me. I snuggled close to him and put my head on his shoulder. It made me feel wonderful to have him hold me again. I found myself wanting to kiss him. A couple of times I jumped, during the movie, and each I got closer to him. I opened his shirt and ran my hand over his chest. I could feel him tense up and I smiled when I saw the bulge in his pants. I put my arms around his neck and pulled myself close to him. He had a scared look on his face and tried to look at the movie. He did move his hand down and put it on my breast. Oh, I wish I had real ones, hopefully soon. The movie was almost over and still no kiss. I looked over at Jennifer and Bill and they were intertwined in each other's arms. I could not tell if they had kissed or not. Before anything happened, the movie was over and the lights came up. We walked out to the lobby and John and Diane were waiting for us. Jennifer and I excused ourselves to the Ladies again and Diane came with us. Diane was a senior at Beth's high school. We chatted while fixing our make-up and all three of us really hit it off. We decided to go to McDonalds for a coke. Jennifer and I were still to full from dinner to eat anything, but we did have Diet Cokes. We talked for over an hour and it was time to be getting home. Before we left, Jennifer and I exchanged phone numbers with Diane. As we were driving home, I sat next to Rodger and he had his arm around me. I looked back, Jennifer and Bill were making out, and I was feeling jealous. When we got home, Rodger got out, opened the door for me. Jennifer and Bill had not come up for air yet. I said, "Goodnight Jen, I'll call you tomorrow." I heard something like ok from the backseat. Rodger walked me to the door. I kept telling myself, if he kisses me then I know that he is interested. "Good night Rodger, I really had a great..." Before I could finish, he pulled me closed and kissed me on the lips. We kissed for what seemed like a month and finally I said I had to go in. Two more kisses and he said, "Goodnight, I'll call you tomorrow." Just as I was going into the house, I look back at the Blazer and see that Bill was walking Jennifer to her car; I waved to her and went inside. No one was up so I just went straight to bed. I woke up around 8:00 remembering a dream that I had about Rodger. How he was holding me, kissing me, making love to me. I thought about last night and how much fun I had. If someone had told me three weeks ago that I would have the hots for and be dating a guy, I would have told them they were crazy. However, here I am pining over Rodger just like a love struck girl, which I was! I get dressed knowing that I had to be over to Nancy's in a few minutes. I go out to the kitchen and find mom sitting there with her coffee and reading the newspaper. She asked about my date and if I had a good time. I told her that it was fantastic; how they were a couple of real gentlemen and that he even gave me a goodnight kiss. She was happy for me and gave me a hug. "This was your first date and one you will remember for the rest of your life. Are you going out with him again?" "I hope so, because I think I really like him." I ate a quick bowl of cereal told mom I had to go to Nancy's to do her hair. I knocked on the door and she opened it saying hi. Nancy and Dave had just bought their home and moved in a few months earlier. She was 21, he was 24 and they had been married for about a year. Nancy was finishing her nursing degree and Dave had just started with a local accounting firm. Money was tight for them. Dave would take a sack lunch with him everyday so he could have money to play golf on the weekends. Nancy took the bus to school; they only had one car and did her hair at home to save money. She took the money she saved and bought clothes. We chatted a bit and she said let us get started. She liked the way my hair turned out so she got the same L'Oreal's Couleur Experte 2-Step Multi-Tonal Hair Color System, 6.3 Warm Brioche, Light Golden brown that Jennifer had used on me. I mixed the first part and started applying it to her head. During that time she asked me about Suzie, what had happened to me so far, what was going to do and why I needed to do this? It was so easy to talk with her, as if I had known her for years. When I finished, we had to wait 25 minutes. She said follow me and took me to her bedroom. She opened her closet door and I could not believe all of her clothes. She said that she was feeling guilty because Dave did not have any place to hang his clothes. She started pulling out dresses, blouses, skirts and pants. She told me to try on anything I liked and I could have it. She handed me three dresses and said that she thought all three would look cute on me. I tried them on and two of them fit very well, the other was too baggy. She continued to hold up other dresses, blouses, skirt and pants. Before we knew it, the timer went off and it was time to rinse her out. She sat back down. Instead of using the cap like Jennifer did to me, she wanted chunkier highlights. She had me comb her hair with a part down the middle. She then had me take a ?" section her hair, lay it on aluminum foil, brush the highlighting paste on it, work it in, wrap it up, and move it out of the way. I started from the front and worked my way to her back and around to the other side. Then I continued to work from the top down to her ears and nape of the neck, curling and pinning each section of hair. We had another 25 minutes to wait, so it was back to her bedroom. She pulled out more clothes out to try on. By the time she was ready to rinse again, she had given me a total of 4 dresses, 3 blouses, 3 skirts and 2 pairs of pants. I told her that I could not take all of this; she said it would be a favor to her and besides it was payment for me doing her hair. I started to say that there was probably over $300 in clothes that she just gave me. She smiled and said, "I know I just hope you get more use out of them than I did." I did notice that a couple of the items still had their price tags on them. I rinsed her out and applied the deep conditioner on to her hair. She asked me if I could roll it for her. What could I say? Of course, I would. By the time I had finished it was pushing 11:00 and I told Nancy I had to leave for my cycle race, it was the last one of the season. I told her that I could not wait to see how her hair turned out. I thanked her for the clothes, that I had a great time with her and would love to do it again. I went home and showed mom and Laurie everything that Nancy had given me. Mom knew the price of clothes and was very surprised with some of the things she gave me. I got ready and mom dropped me off at school for the race. It was 30 miles long and I finished 3rd again. I was happy considering the competition. When I got home, there was a message from Rodger asking me if I wanted to do something tonight. I called him back saying I was exhausted, which was true and that I just wanted to stay home tonight and rest. We talked for over an hour. It seems that he had as good a time last night as I did. He said that he wanted to see a lot more of me, which made my heart flutter. I asked him if he wanted to come over for dinner tomorrow night, Sunday night dinner was very big for mom, he said yes. I said good night, went to the bathroom, and soaked in a nice warm bubble bath, with scented candles. Sunday was pretty laid back I went over and to see how Nancy's hair turned out. She said that she loved it and that Dave loved it too. She said that I had a natural talent for doing hair. I told her thank you again for the clothes and that I thought her hair looked fantastic, if I say so myself. I spent the rest of the day studying. I went out and helped mom prepare the dinner. I told her that I would really like to learn how to cook. Just before Rodger came over, I pleaded with mom and Laurie not to embarrass me. They both laughed saying that they would behave themselves. During dinner, they were both very good. They asked Rodger many questions to get to know him better. After dinner, we cuddled up on the couch and watched TV. We kissed a couple of times when no one was looking. He left around 10:00 and I got ready for bed. The following week was a blur. I went to my appointment with Dr. Anderson and told her all about my week and my date. She said that studies have shown that "homosexual transsexuals" have been found, among other things, to present earlier for treatment, to report more childhood cross-gender identification and to show less postoperative regrets than the "non homosexual transsexuals" have. The non homosexual group are more likely to have regrets because they usually have a much longer and more inconsistent history of untreated gender dysphoria, have for a longer period tried unsuccessfully to live in the original gender role, and. as a consequence, have stronger ties to their original role (as a partner, a father, or a colleague). That if I continued to make progress, that she would probably recommend me for sexual reassignment. She gave me a 16-question gender test to fill out and bring back next week. She also asked me to start keeping a journal of what I am doing, how I am doing and any additional thoughts I had. She said that she wanted to see it in a month or so and that anything she read would be confidential. When I got home, I immediately called Jennifer and told her about my session and that it looks like she very well may recommend me to transition. I called Rodger and told him the news. He was very happy for me and we talked for a half an hour. The next couple of weeks felt a little strange. My season for the cycle team was over and I had lots of free time after school. Jennifer and I studied together and I talked with Rodger everyday. Jennifer really liked Bill and they going out on Friday. Rodger and I went out on both Friday and Saturday. Diane called Tuesday evening and asked if Rodger and I would like to come to her house for a 1940's theme Halloween costume party on Saturday October 31. I asked her if Jennifer was coming. She said that she asked her and she already had plans with her cousin Beth. I told her that I thought that sounded like fun and I would ask Rodger if he wanted to go and my mom, if I could go. I called Jennifer and she said that Bill had to work Saturday night and that she and Beth had made plans weeks ago to go to a Backstreet Boys concert. I told her that I was nervous about going alone. That every time I went out in public, mom, Laurie or she was there with me. She laughed and said that I was doing great and to just be myself. I called Rodger and he said that it sounded like fun. We talked about what costumes to wear. He did not have a clue. Years ago I was rummaging through some old clothes that mom had saved. I remembered an old formal dress that was my grandmother's. Mom had kept it all of these years. I remember trying it on and thinking I was Ingrid Bergman or Lauren Bacall. That is it! I suggested that I go as Lauren Bacall and he go as Humphrey Bogart. He liked the idea and knew where he could get an old suit and a fedora. I told mom of my decision and she thought it was a good idea too. I her told about grandma's old dress and she thought it just might fit. We rummaged around the attic and found the dress, a matching red silk satin evening clutch and red suede platforms with a deeply cut vamp, a sling back and closed toe and a 3 inch heel and a 1 inch platform. It was a beautiful red rayon dress with soft V in the back and a high neckline in the front. It had a side drape at the waist for detail and had long sleeves. The dress had a tulip hem in the front with a soft drape and slit. I immediately went to my room and tried it on. It was a little large through the hips and bust and a little tight through the waist, the shoes fit fine. Mom went to her room and brought back a strapless v- back torsolette that she had. I took off the dress and my bra. She put the torsolette on me and added some extra cleavage. I put on my girdle and padded my hips with a couple of towels. I put the dress back on. It fit perfectly now, for the first time I could see myself with C cup breasts and hips. I loved it and could not wait to show Laurie. She thought I looked like a little vixen. I called Sarah, told here what I wanted to do, she told me to bring a picture of what I wanted and made me an appointment for Saturday afternoon to get my hair done. Mom said that she would take the dress to get dry-cleaned. I went to Blockbuster and rented the movie To Have or Have Not starring Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall. I watched it a couple of times and started to mimic her famous line, "You know you don't have to act with me, Steve. You don't have to say anything and you don't have to do anything...not a thing. Oh, maybe just whistle. You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow." I was driving everyone crazy but I finally got it down almost perfect. I made several entries in my diary saying how upbeat I was living as Suzie, though I got depressed having to go to school as Robert. I hated to look at my useless appendage and sometimes dreamt about just cutting it off. However, having a boyfriend and going to the Halloween party was great. I wrote that I was excited that I might be able to start living as Suzie fulltime starting in December. That would be the best Christmas present I could think of. I looked at the test that Dr. Anderson gave me. It seemed straightforward and I started working on the questions. 1. Do I express femininity MORE for freedom of being, or for the pleasure I feel? My femininity is the persona that I feel the most comfortable with. I feel so normal when I am Suzie. That is who I am though; I must admit that it makes me feel good to wear nice clothes and to have my boyfriend Rodger accept me. 2. Clothes or Self? If everyone dressed, exactly the same, male or female, how would this need in me express itself...or would it? I would need to express myself in a way that I felt most comfortable with. 3. Which gender expression permits me more freedom to be and do what I REALLY want, male or female? When I am Suzie, I feel more comfortable with myself and I feel more uninhibited. When I have to be Robert, I feel repressed and depressed... I worked on the test for over an hour. Taking the test gave me some real insight into who I am. I really started to believe that I would not be happy, and probably very depressed, if I had to live my life as Robert. I made these notations in my diary. While the diary was insightful, I was feeling depressed. I was feeling like nothing was happening. Jennifer has an amazing ability to show up, or call, and to cheer me up, just as I was starting to feel depressed. She showed up, unexpectedly, and asked what was going on. I showed her my test and told her that I was feeling depressed. She reminded me of all of the positive things going on in my life. I was establishing myself as Suzie, I was making new friends, I had a guy that was interested in me, things could be worse. She asked me if I was happier now or two months ago before Suzie came out. I had to admit that I was happier as Suzie, but more depressed. Before Suzie, I do not think I really knew how I would feel living as Suzie all of the time, so I was not that depressed. Now I hated Robert and wish he was gone for good. I told her that I started having dreams about cutting off my cock and balls and that it made me very happy. She gave me a hug saying that while she could not really understand what I was going through, that she will be there to support me, in whatever decisions I made. I started to feel better, took her to my room, and tried on my dress for her. I put on mom's torsolette, stuffed the cups with a couple pairs of panties, put on the girdle and towel pads and finally the dress. She thought it looked wonderful and suggested that we go the mall next Saturday and get some accessories. She had to leave but said she would call me later. I was finishing my diary entry when Rodger called. He wanted to know if I wanted to go out for a hamburger or something. I said that I would but I had promised mom that I would cook dinner tonight and suggested that he come over. He said he would like that. I told him to come over anytime. Since Mom had found out about Suzie, I asked her to teach me how to cook. Therefore, I helped her quit a bit in the kitchen and would occasionally cook for her as I was going to tonight. I was going to try her recipe for spaghetti sauce. Laurie came home all upset and crying. She and John had a big fight about me. John and I never really hit it off and when he found out about Suzie, he hated me. Things came to a head when she asked him why he never wanted to come over anymore. He told her it was because he did not want to have anything to do with her "sick little faggot brother". She said that she slapped him and left. She said that as far as she was concerned, they were over. I said that I did not want her to break-up with John because of me. She looked me squarely in the eyes and said, "Listen to me; you, mom and now Jennifer are the most important people in the world to me. I love you all very much. I do not care how much I like a guy, if he cannot accept my family; I have no use for him. Just remember, I love you very much and I won't let anyone come between us." She had me all choked up, all I could do was to cry with her, hug her and say thank you. She went to her room to cry. I was all upset and still crying when Rodger came over. He wanted to know why I was crying and I told him. He came over and gave me a big hug. I looked up at him and said, "Please tell me that my past doesn't cause you any problems. I want you to know me just as Suzie; soon Robert will be gone for good". He looked at me for a second, then kissed me and said, "Suzie I like you very much and I have only known you as Suzie. I do not want to know Robert. If I did, I would have to have to do some introspection and that I am not sure I want to do. I have always thought of myself as a straight man. I have to admit that if I ever met Robert I would probably feel very uncomfortable. If you ever went back to living as Robert, I am not sure what I would do". "Well, you don't have to worry about me going back to being Robert that is not going to happen. In fact, I am hoping that Dr. Anderson will recommend that I start living as Suzie full-time starting during Christmas break. Rodger, I like you very much too and I don't want to loose you." He hugged and kissed me again and said not to worry my pretty, little head about it. I went back to finish cooking dinner, mom should be home anytime now. Rodger wanted to help and told him to fix the French bread. Mom got home just as we had finished. She was impressed that I had taken the effort to cook dinner for her. She asked where Laurie was. I told her what had happened and she went to Laurie's room to talk with her. I called mom and Laurie for dinner. I am not sure what mom had said but Laurie was in a better mood. We sat down and ate. Everyone was surprised, including me, how well my sauce had turned out. When we finished, mom said that she would clean up. Rodger and I went into the family room to watch TV. I put on the tape of To Have Or To Have Not on. I cuddled up to him and found myself running my hand over his chest under his shirt. I know he enjoyed have me do this because I could see his bulge getting bigger. I was getting aroused too. However, I tried to ignore it because the thought of getting an erection was appalling to me. He put his hand on my inner thigh and a wave of pleasure shot through my body. I wanted him so bad, but I had to pull his hand away saying that mom or Laurie might come in. We watched the rest of the movie and then he had to leave. I walked him out to his car and we kissed goodnight just as Nancy's husband Dave came home. He just looked at us and went into the house. I was sure I would hear something about it from Nancy. Monday I went to see Dr. Anderson again. I gave her my test and diary, which she read for a few minutes. We talked for 45 minutes and she brought Mom in. She told us that my dairy and test continues to show her that I may very well be a good candidate for sexual reassignment. She said that the support that mom, Laurie and Jennifer was giving me was a very big plus for a successful transition. She told me that she has many patients with out any support from their friends and family. Those are the ones, which ultimately fail, get depressed and try suicide. A good support system is very necessary for a successful transition. She gave me another homework assignment. She wanted me to write, at least five pages, on what I want out of life and where I see myself in 10 years. The rest of the week went slow. Rodger, Jennifer and Bill came over Friday night and we watched the movie again. After the movies, we all played a game of Monopoly, which Jennifer and I let the guys win. We ended up necking until midnight when Rodger and Bill went home and Jennifer spent the night. We talked for another hour before we went to bed. She was falling hard for Bill and I told her that I was falling for Rodger too. On Saturday Jennifer, Laurie and I went to the mall. We went into several shops, including Victoria's Secret, and did not really find anything that I could use. Finally, we went into Fredrick's of Hollywood. Jennifer found a four-pad panty girdle. She suggested that I buy it because it would give me natural looking hips and butt. I tried it on and pulled my jeans back on. I had to admit it did give me a better shape. We continued to shop and found C cup water filled push-up pads and some lace top garter stockings with a back seam. I ended up getting all three items. I told Laurie and Jennifer that I did not realize how expensive it was to be a girl and that I had to think about getting a job. The next week went pretty much the same except that I had my first blood test with Dr. Snow on Thursday. She said my hormone levels were where they were supposed to be. As long as I keep up on my injections of the LHRH agonist, I would not experience any further signs of puberty. I told her that I would, that I did not want to develop any male characteristics. She said the usually the younger the patient, the more faithful they are to the hormone regime. Rodger and I went out for hamburgers and bowling on Friday. I could not believe it I was falling hard for this guy. Saturday morning I got up and stated thinking of what I needed to do before going to the party tonight. Laurie and Jennifer took me out to lunch. After lunch, they took me shopping, at a local Retro shop, for a pair of earrings to wear tonight. We found the perfect pair. They were a pair of Antique Style Diamond (Cubic Zirconium) and faux ruby dangle earrings; they were elegant, classic and very feminine. They had 14k yellow gold backs and rhodium tops. With twenty-four single and modern brilliant cut diamonds for a total carat weight of .35 carats and a total drop length of an inch. When we got home, I immediately went to my room to start getting ready for the party. I took a shower and shaved my legs and underarms. I do not know if it was from the waxing or the LHRH agonist but my facial hair had not grown at all since Sarah waxed it two weeks ago. When I had finished Jennifer wanted to see me in my dress with me wearing the padded girdle and pads in the torsolette. The result was a more feminine and mature appearance. She could not wait to see me with my hair and make-up done. I got undressed. Jennifer had to go but said that she would call me later. Laurie took me to Sarah's; I really have to think about getting my driver's license. She dropped me off and said she would pick me up in a couple of hours. I went in and Sarah was waiting for me. I showed her the picture of Lauren Bacall and she said she knew exactly what to do. She said she has a couple of clients that liked to do swing dancing, so she does this at least once a month. She said that she would style my hair so that the bottom part was wavy, pull back the sides with combs, and the front has a large roll sweeping towards the side. She washed and conditioned my hair. She took me back to her chair and combed styling gel through my hair. She parted my hair on the left and sectioned off my hair by parting it from the top of the crown to my ear. She did this on both sides of my head, giving me one large section of hair in the back of my head. She then took that section and divided it horizontally in two low sections across the back of my head, and pinned the top section out of the way. She started with the bottom section first. She took a small strand of my hair and wrapped it around her finger making a pin curl. She carefully slid it off her finger and held it in place with a clip. She did this in vertical sections across the back of my head. She repeated this until I had two rows of pin curls across the back of back of me head. She then unpinned the top section and repeated the same process, but this time with the pin curls going in the opposite direction. She did the front is next. Since I did not have any bangs and my front hair is longer, she decided to curl the longer sides and just across the front area. She took one small section of my hair, wrapped it around her finger and made a pin curl which she held in place with a clip. She continued around the front and perimeter of my head, leaving my crown and top straight and smooth. While she was doing this, we chatted about how things were going, about the party and what I was going to next. I told her about what Dr. Anderson had said and that if I could start living as Suzie fulltime that I would probably be looking for a part-time job. I told her I would probably look at McDonalds or somewhere like that. She asked me if I would be interested in working there. I said sure, that I was really getting interested in hair. She said that Erica was leaving soon and that they while they had more clientele than the 4 of them could handle and there wasn't really enough for a 5th stylist. Jackie, the owner, had talked about hiring someone part-time to answer the phones, make appointments, stock supplies and to be a shampoo girl. She asked me if I was interested and I said yes. She brought Jackie over and we talked while Sarah continued wrap my hair in pin curls. I told her that I was really becoming interested in hairstyling and thought it would be fun to work there. I told her that I could work after school and on Saturdays. Finally, I told her about Robert, I did not think she knew. She said that she would try me and to get a work permit from school on Monday and that I could start on Tuesday. They would pay Robert $5.50 an hour, an extra $1.50 for each shampoo and 15% commission on anything I sold. In addition, I would get any supplies at a 40% discount. She said that she expects to come in only as Suzie. I told Jackie that she did not ever have to worry about seeing Robert. As far as I was concerned the least amount of time I was Robert the better I felt. Soon Sarah was finished and I had 3 rows of pin curls around the front of my head and 4 around my sides. She put me under the dryer and asked if I wanted her to do my make-up. I said that I could not really afford it right now and that I was just going to do it at home. Sarah said she was not doing anything now and she would do it free, as a celebration of me getting my first job. She cleansed my face, taking off the little make-up I had on and applied a moisturizer. She stippled on the foundation using a wedged shaped sponge. She applied brown shadow to my brows and brushed them to soften the color. She used brown pencil to create a prominent arch, brushing to soften the edges and a black liquid liner to sweep a steady line across the top of my lashes. She applied mascara to my top lashes only and put added emphasis on the outer lashes. She used a deep rose blusher, swept the color toward my temples, outlined lips with a red lip liner, and then added a rich red lipstick. She blotted and reapplied giving me a matte finish. She explained that there was no shine on lips in the forties. When Sarah was done with my make-up, Pam came over and offered to do my nails. She used a bright red polish that perfectly matched my lipstick. Just as Pam was finishing the bell went off on the dryer signaling that I should be done. Sarah checked and told me that I was finished. She carefully removed all of the clips letting each long spiral curl fall. Soon I looked like Shirley Temple. I told her that I loved the curls and that I could not wait for my perm. Sarah suggested that since I would be working there all day Saturday, there was something she wanted to try. She was reading about a technique that was supposed to make the curls last longer. It was safe but required at least 8 hours to do it. She said that if she let her try it on me, that she would not charge me for the perm. She explained that she would wrap my hair as usual and apply the perm solution. When the perm solution was done, she would rinse it out. What made this different was that she would wait until after closing to neutralize my curls and finish my perm. I would be working all day with my hair in perm rods. She reassured me that it was completely safe and that my hair would not fall out. I somewhat reluctantly said yes. While we were talking, she brushed the smooth areas of my hair and gently combed the curled areas. She made a pompadour roll on the top of my head, combed my sides and back into very feminine waves. She lightly sprayed my hair with light hold hair spray and used two combs to pull my hair back from my face. She turned me around so I could see myself in the mirror. Wow, I could not believe it; I looked like a movie star from the 1940's. I thanked and paid her with a very nice tip, which she did not take, and went home. When I got home, Jennifer and Beth were there. They wanted to see me, in my dress and all made up, before they left for their concert. Mom and Laurie complimented me on my hair and make-up. I told them about my new job and they were happy for me. I told mom and Laurie that I could afford car insurance now and that I wanted to get my driver's license. Laurie said that she had promised me that she would teach me. Laurie, Jennifer, Beth and I went to my room so I could dress. I took my blouse and pants off. I was standing there in my bra and new panty girdle. For the first time I started to feel embarrassed when I took my bra off. At first, I did not really understand why I feeling that way then I realized it was because they were seeing me with no breasts. Oh, how I wanted my own breasts I could not wait. I asked Jennifer to help me with the torsolette. I put in me new pads and they gave me a hint of cleavage. This made me feel better even though I would not be showing any cleavage with this dress. I pulled the garters, from the torsolette, through my girdle and panties. As I sat down to put on my nylon stockings, I heard the doorbell ring and I knew it was Rodger. I could feel my pulse quicken and I became anxious. "I don't know if I can pull this off. What if Rodger doesn't like the way I look? What someone recognizes me? What am I supposed to if Rodger wants to neck? I have always ad you guys to help me, I don't know if I can do this on my own." They all laughed, hugged me and reassured me that everything was going to be ok. Laurie said, "You really like Rodger don't you?" I said yes I did. They all told me not to do anything with Rodger that I were not comfortable doing. Jennifer and Beth had to leave and they would tell Rodger that I was almost ready. When they left, I finished putting on my nylons and a half slip that mom had given me. Laurie left my room and came back with a couple of her maxi pads. She suggested that I wear one just in case I had an accident and to take the other one as a back up. She had me drop my girdle and panties and showed me how to fix the pad to the bottom of my panties. I put my panties and girdle back on making sure that I was tucked back. I stepped into my dress and pulled it up so I would not mess my hair. Laurie zipped me up, stepped back, and looked at me. "Suzie it almost looks like that dress was made for you. We are going to have to do something about getting you more of a figure." I asked her to go and tell Rodger that I would be right out. I just wanted to check my make-up. Actually, I needed a little time to get up my courage. I sat there for a moment looking at myself in the mirror. All of a sudden, I was having second thoughts about everything. Was I going too fast, did I really want this, was I maybe just a gay guy that liked girls clothes, I didn't know what to do. Mom came in to see if I needed help with anything. She saw that I was upset and asked what was wrong. I got up hugged her, started crying and told her everything that I had been thinking about. Mom has a way of calming me down and reassuring me. She said that she thought I was just nervous about going out solo for the first time. To relax, be myself and enjoy the evening. Besides, if I cried any more I will ruin my make-up. She made me feel better. I thanked her, told her that I loved her, checked my make-up, put on my heels, put a few things in my clutch and went out to Rodger. He looked very handsome wearing a double-breasted pin stripped suit and a fedora. When he saw me, his jaw almost hit the ground. I said the line I had been practicing all week, "You know you don't have to act with me, Rodger. You don't have to say anything and you don't have to do anything...not a thing. Oh, maybe just whistle. You know how to whistle, don't you, Rodger? You just put your lips together and blow." Everyone clapped and broke out laughing. I felt like a ton of bricks had been lifted from me. Of course, mom had to take pictures of Rodger and me. We went out to the car and Rodger, being the perfect gentleman he was, opened my door for me. When we were driving to Diane's he kept telling me how incredible I looked. I finally had to tell him to stop that he was embarrassing me. We arrived at Diane's house about 7:00 and met her parents Don and Shelly. They were very nice and welcomed us. Diane introduced us to the other couples that were there. Diane and John liked to swing dance and many of the other couples liked to swing dance too. Diane had a DJ who was playing Big Band music and converted their garage into a dance floor. We went and got something to eat at their buffet and mingled with the other guests. One of the couples we met, Mike and Janet, we were swing dance friends of Diane and John. Janet was wearing a navy blue taffeta flare skirt and a red rayon blouse with short sleeves and a Peter Pan collar. Mike was wearing a WWII army uniform. They asked us if we knew how to swing dance. We both said no and they said they would teach us. Ed took my hand and Janet took Rodgers and dragged us out to the dance floor. I think it was easier for me, than Rodger, because I just had to follow Mike's lead. Before long, I got the hang of it and really enjoyed dancing. I looked over at Rodger and Janet. I almost burst out laughing; Rodger was having a heck of a time. However, after a couple of songs he started getting the hang of it. Finally, we sat down and told them that I really enjoyed this. I found out that they were both 17 and seniors at the same school that Diane and Beth attended. They could not believe it when I said I was only 16. Janet and Mike had been going together for 2 years. When I told her that Rodger and I had been dating only for a couple of weeks, Rodger had a weird look on his face. I did not think too much of it at the time. Janet was impressed that at 16 I was dating a college guy. Janet said that she was planning on going to cosmetology school after high school. I told her about my new job and she was jealous. We hit it off. She suggested that we should get together sometime and practice on each other's hair. I said that I thought that would be fun. Janet and I were just chatting away; Rodger took my hand and led me out to the dance floor. There was a slow dance playing and I found myself clinging to him. Rodger was a very good dancer and I found myself floating along following his lead. After the dance, we went back to the table and Diane and John joined us. We all talked for a while and I started feeling very close to Diane and Janet. The DJ played In the Mood and Mike asked me if I wanted to dance. It was easy to follow Mike's lead, I was really getting to enjoy learning how to swing dance. I thought I would have to talk to Rodger about this. What I did not know was that my new friends were grilling Rodger, in a friendly way, about me. What he thought of and what his intentions were for me. When we got back to the table, Janet and Diane were all smiles. I asked them what they were smiling about and they said it was just because Rodger was such a nice guy. I had the time of my life that night. Everyone accepted me as Suzie. There was no doubt in anyone's mind. However, all things must end and before I knew, it was 11:30 and I had to go to get home by midnight. I thanked Diane for inviting me and thanked her parents too. On the way home, I snuggled close to Rodger and found that I was running my hand along the inside of his thigh. I was feeling all good inside. I thought I would do anything he asked. I was falling for him in a big way. However, he was being very quiet. When we got home, he pulled in my driveway and turned his car off. I positioned myself to kiss him when he moved me away. "Suzie we have to talk. This is hard for me, so please do not say anything until I am finished. Suzie I like you very much and I want to support you and be part of your life. But as a friend, not a boyfriend." I sat there in a daze, what was he saying? "This has nothing to do with Robert. I do not know Robert; I do not want to know Robert and I just know you as Suzie. You are Suzie to me and always will be. However, the reality is that you are 16 and I am almost 19. I want to date someone closer to my own age. Ten years from now, when I am 29 and you are 26, then 2 ? years will not be any big difference. Now there is a huge difference. Like I said I want to stay part of your life, just not as a boyfriend." I started crying and could not say a thing. I just got out of his car and ran into the house. Laurie was still up asked me what was wrong. I told her the Rodger had just dumped me. I started crying harder. This was my first broken heart and it hurt. Laurie went to the kitchen and brought out some Haagen-Dazs ice cream and two spoons. We spent an hour talking and eating the ice cream and yes, I did feel better. Laurie told me just be glad he broke it off early. The longer he waited the more hurt I would have been. I never felt so glad to have an older sister to talk with. I hugged her, said thank you and good night. I had Laurie unzip me and I went to my room and got ready for bed. I took off my dress, skip, stockings, girdle and torsolette. It felt good to take off all of my confining lingerie, but I hated losing my figure. I put on a hair net so not to mess up my hair over night. I removed my make-up, put on a nightie and went to bed. I must have been tired because the next thing I knew, it was 10:00 in the morning. I got up and went out to the kitchen. Mom was sitting there reading the paper. Laurie had told her about Rodger dumping me and mom asked if I wanted to talk about it. We talked for an hour. She suggested that I do not get involved with any more guys until we knew better what was going to happen to me and I agreed. I called Jennifer and told her what happened. I then called Diane, thanked her for inviting me to her party and told her Rodger and I were not seeing each other anymore. Of course, she wanted to know what happened and I told her everything. She said that she was sorry that I was hurt. However, broken hearts come with being young and fortunately, they are not fatal. Mom said that she had to take off that she was meeting Betty for lunch. I spent the rest of the day sulking, doing homework, writing in my diary and just plain being miserable. The phone rang and mom said it was Rodger. I told her that I did not want to talk to him. Jennifer came over and asked me if I wanted to go to the mall. I said thanks, but not today. Something snapped inside me. I was sure that the real reason the Rodger broke up with me was that I was not a "real" girl. Spending any time as Robert was usually depressing. Now, the thought of having to go to school tomorrow immediately brought me to tears. I hated Robert and wished he were gone forever. All of a sudden, it did not seem like life was worth living if I could not be Suzie. I did not know what I would do if Dr. Anderson refused to let me live as Suzie fulltime. I could not believe it, was I actually thinking of suicide? No, Suzie had too much to live for. However, could I slowly kill off Robert? Perhaps if I eliminated Robert from my life, then Dr. Anderson would have to go along with me. I knew that it probably would not get Rodger back, but I would feel better. My plan would be simple. I would gradually introduce more and more of Suzie into life while I was at school. I would start by wearing small gold hoops instead of my studs, wearing a bra and camisole under my clothes, clear nail polish and more of a feminine hairstyle. I knew that I would probably get a ration from many of the other kids, but I did not care. I also knew that after awhile my new look would be accepted and most everyone would think of me as that "gay guy". I would then start wearing Suzie's jeans and pants, grow my nails out a little bit, wear pink polish, and have Sarah give me a curlier perm than I had originally wanted. Again I knew that I would get a lot of harassment from the other kids but that too would subside after a while. I was not sure how far I could push this. Some of the kids would stay my friends; others will not have anything to do with me. I asked Laurie to take me to the mall; I had a couple of things I wanted to pick-up. On the way to the mall, I told Laurie about my plan to get rid of Robert once and for all. She told me not to do anything I might regret later on. To think of what the other kids in school will be saying to you. I told her that right now I did not care; I just wanted Robert out of my life for good. That many of the kids at school have already been making comments about me after I highlighted and colored my hair. Some of the other kids accepted me, and others did not and I did not care as long as I had her, mom and Jennifer supporting me. She asked me what I had in mind. I told her that from now on I was not going to leave the house without at least a bra, panties and a camisole on. Maybe I cannot be Suzie 100% of the time, but at least I can feel like her. I wanted to get some 34A bras to wear under my clothes at school. We went to Victoria's Secret first and I looked at their Shaping Lace demi bra, Chiffon Cami and Lace-trim Tap Pant. I loved them but they would have set me back $100 for one set. Next, we went to Penney's. They were having a buy 2 get 1 free sale on their bras. I bought 3 of their Delicates Lace demi bras for $45.00 and 2 sets of their Cami and Cheeky Pants Set for $60.00. On the way home, I asked Laurie if she would braid my hair into a French braid tonight after I washed it. She looked at me, asked me if I was sure and said that she would. When we got home, mom was there. She asked where we had been and I just said to the mall to buy some things. Mom said that Betty and Jennifer were coming over for dinner tonight. I helped mom in the kitchen but did not tell her of my plan because I knew she would probably try to talk me out of it. If she said no, then I would have to defy her to make my plan work. My thinking was that if she did not know, then she could not say no. Once I have introduced the school to the "new" Robert then there would not be any turning back. Jennifer and Betty came over at about 6:00. Jennifer helped me set the table and put the food out. Mom and Betty were sitting next to each other. About half way through dinner they looked at each other, nodded and mom started to speak. "Shortly after I found out that your father and Betty had an affair he left. A year later, we met at an abandoned wives group. It did not take very long to figure out that my ex-husband and her lover were one in the same. I confronted her calling her a home wrecker. It was then I found out that she had you Jennifer and had no idea he was married. We became very good friends and after a while, lovers. We both did not want anything to do with another man. We were together for three years. We decided that it would be too hard to explain our lesbian relationship to you girls so we split up. We had not seen each other for over five years, until you, Suzie, and Jennifer met and started to see each other. We talked on the telephone a couple of times and knew that it would be just a matter of time before you would have to be told that you are sisters. Since then we have grown closer together again. You girls are older now and I hope you are better able to understand what we are going through." "We are telling you this now," Betty said, "because Amanda and I are going to Monterey for the weekend. We want to spend some time together and feel that you girls are old enough and responsible enough to be left home by yourselves." We all said that this was a big surprise, even though we had suspected something like this for a while. We talked and both Laurie and Jennifer said that they had lesbian fantasies and I said I was just plain confused. At which everyone laughed. They said that they would be spending more time together and may eventually think about combining our households. We talked for the rest of the evening and were happy for mom and Betty. Betty and Jennifer went home at 8:00 with mom and Betty giving each other a big kiss goodnight. Seeing them kiss seemed strange, but was not uncomfortable. As they were leaving, I remembered that I had not told Jennifer about Robert's changes. Oh well I thought she will find out tomorrow when she picks me up for school. I went to my room got undressed, went, took a shower, and washed my hair. I felt somewhat sad that my wonderful 40's hairstyle would be gone, but I was happy thinking about what was going to come. When I finished I went through my nightly cleansing and moisturizing routine. I have to make a note that I am almost out of my cleanser and moisturizer. I put my satin pajamas on, go out and ask Laurie if she could help me. She comes in and asks me again if I want to go through with this and I say yes. I sat down and she quickly braided my hair. I took my red fingernail polish off and replaced it with a clear polish. I went out and said goodnight to mom. She asked me about my braided hair and I just said I was trying a different look. She said ok. I went to bed and before I knew it, it was time to get up. I got out of bed and started dressing. I put on one of my new lace demi bras, I could almost fill the bra's A cups. This made me feel good because for the first time I would be going out without wearing my inserts. I put on my new cami, cheeky pants, and a pair of Robert's jeans, a loose long sleeve pullover shirt and a pair of small gold hoops. I looked at myself in the mirror and I liked what I saw. You could not really tell that I was wearing a bra, but I definitely two small breasts pointing out. It was Robert with more of a feminine edge. I could not wait to push the envelope a little more. I could not imagine ever going back to being Robert again. Laurie came in to see me; she liked my subtle changes, but wanted to be sure that I really wanted to do this. I said yes. She said she would give me a ride to school, but I told her that Jennifer was going to pick me up. We waited until mom went into the bathroom, said goodbye to her, through the door; she said she would pick me up at school at 3:00and we left. I went outside and waited for Jennifer. Jennifer drove up and I got into her car. She looked at me and said, "Oh my God, let me look at you girl. What are you doing?" I told her everything, how I hated Robert that I was slowly "killing" him off. I hope that Dr. Anderson will let me live as Suzie fulltime and let me start hormones. We got to school and I immediately noticed the other kids looking at me. I heard a couple of comments calling me a faggot, sissy and pretty boy. Walking to class, a couple of girls stopped me and said that I looked good and they wished their boyfriends would dress like that. I said thanks. Some of the guys hassled me calling me a fag and sissy boy. These praises and hassles went on all day. I never felt like I was afraid at all, just a little uncomfortable. Miss Thorp, my biology teacher asked me to stay for a couple of minutes after class. She was in her late 20's and very attractive. She said that she has been watching me all semester and noticed my continuing changes. At first, she noted my pierced ears and change in behavior, acting more and more feminine. Then she saw that I had colored and highlighted my hair. Now I was wearing my hair in a French braid, I was wearing gold hoops, clear nail polish and I was showing a hint of breasts. She was not being judgmental but was concerned about me, which I really appreciated. I gave her the quick version of what was happening. She asked me if I wanted to, she would be available to talk after school. I thanked her and told her that I had an appointment with Dr. Anderson today. I went to the school office, during my study period and got my work permit. My school counselor, Mrs. Hewitt, asked me about my appearance too. We went into to her office and talked for half an hour. I told her everything and that I was hoping to start living fulltime as Suzie soon. She was happy that I was seeing a therapist and she said she would support me with what ever Dr. Anderson recommended. She did suggest that I would probably fair better, if I switched to another school when I went fulltime. That way I would have a fresh start. I thanked her and went out to meet mom for my appointment. When mom drove up, she had a look of shock on her face. She asked me why I had dressed like that and that if she had seen me this morning she would not have let me go to school like this. I told her about my depression over Rodger and that if I had been a "real" girl that h