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Stolen Life By Heather St. Claire It was a pleasant mid-September day when their paths crossed for the first time, the wealthy young man and the beautiful young woman who would soon steal his body and his life. His name was Timothy Fairchild III, and the only surprising thing about that Thursday in early September was that he took notice of her at all. On the surface, the two had little in common. Yes, both were seventeen-year-old juniors at the same suburban high school. They both shared the same initials; the young woman's name was Tania Franklin. But there, the similarities ended. Timothy was an honors student from a wealthy family who had been attending classes in this same school system since Kindergarten; Tania was a C- minus student from a poor home and has just transferred to the school that fall. The course of Timothy's future was already set, thanks in large part to the steady, somewhat overbearing guidance of his parents; Tania came from a home where just getting through each day was a struggle and a triumph. Tania came to school on the bus; Timothy, like the majority of students, drove his own car. But while the student lot was mostly filled with late-model Jaguars, BMWs, Audis, Lexuses and the like, Timothy was driving a 10-year-old Volvo wagon he had inherited from his mother the previous year. That was the result of Timothy Fairchild II's value system. The senior Fairchild often found himself torn between his desire to give his namesake and only child everything he could and to not overly indulge him. On the day he had handed the Volvo's keys to young Timothy, he had sensed the faint disappointment in the boy's face and said, "When you're able to earn you own money, you can drive any damn thing you want. In the meantime, this car has a lot of life left in it." The Volvo, though sturdy and well-made, did have life left in it, but it was also a vehicle with more than 110,000 miles on it, and it showed its age at times. Inconvenient times. Like that Monday morning when Timothy was already running late for school. The starter stubbornly refused to turn over for more than 10 minutes before finally sparking to life; as a result, Tim found himself searching for an open space on the outer edges of the student lot just minutes before the first bell. He finally found one, looking directly at the benches in the adjoining public park that served as a gathering space for the students at the fringes of the school's life. These were mostly the children of poor families, like Tania; although there were a few rebellious rich kids in the lot. Timothy quickly glanced over the crowd and shook his head; plenty of shaved heads, body piercings, tattoos, trench coats and combat boots. Most of them were smoking. It was mostly standard tobacco, though there were a few cloves and at least one joint in the crowd of 20 or so. As Timothy pulled into his parking space, he couldn't help but think what his father would say about this group. "Wasting their time," he would grumble. "Wasting their lives at one of the best public schools in the state." Timothy took true pride in being one of the best students at Wilson High. For some reason, Timothy's gaze settled on a girl that he later realized was Tania. She was on the fringes of the crowd, and didn't really seem to be a part of it; he noticed her long, lean form with just enough curves in the right places. Her lithe legs were encased in a pair of tight-fitting jeans; her body- hugging striped halter top displayed her flat stomach and a pair of perfectly- formed, if slightly below average-sized breasts. Timothy found himself gazing directly into the girl's eyes. He thought she wore too much makeup; but he realized she had a face of almost classical beauty, a perfect oval with large brown eyes, a pert, slightly upturned nose, and luxuriously full lips. The face was framed by straight, shoulder length brown hair, parted in the middle, that had a luminous quality to it. Their eyes met, and Tania gave Timothy what he thought was a strangely knowing look. Tania took a last, deep drag on her cigarette, exhaled the cloud of smoke, and dropped the butt to the dirt at her feet, firmly grinding it out with her heel. She was smiling directly at Timothy the whole time. Flustered, Tim glanced away and hurried toward his first period class. It had all happened in a minute or two, but Timothy found himself returning to the moment at idle times throughout the day; moving through the halls, daydreaming in class, waiting in line at the cafeteria. He wondered who the girl was, and what had landed her in a group that he already thought of as life's losers. He also considered if she was the type who might actually put out on a first or second date, and smiled at the fantasy. But by the next day, Tania had been relegated to the back of Timothy's mind. Tania was replaying the encounter carefully in her mind as well. She had sized up Timothy's body, dress and method of transport. She made a few hasty scribbles in a small notebook she carried, and headed for her first period assignment as a front office aide. She walked with a sense of purpose, knowing there was one more name to add to her research list. That fall seemed to pass quickly for both Timothy and Tania. They didn't encounter each other as directly again, though even in a school of two thousand they couldn't help being in the halls, libraries and cafeteria at the same time. Timothy continued to come to school eagerly each day, (and on time, once the Volvo's starter was replaced) looking forward to the challenge and opportunity it represented. Tania showed up as well, appearing to her teachers and classmates to be simply going through the motions She seemed struck in her C minus rut until graduation. Everyone thought Tania didn't care about anything, but that was far from the truth. There was one thing that animated her existence and gave her a reason to keep living. But that was something she couldn't share with anyone, at school, or at home. Home. When Timothy thought of home, he thought of a sprawling, luxurious structure, and thought about the loving, supportive mother who would greet him on his arrival and who helped to counterbalance the more authoritarian tendencies of his father. When Tania thought of home, she winced. Once the bus dropped her off in the late afternoon, she still had three-quarters of a mile to walk on the gravel road that led to the barren patch of ground where their battered single-wide mobile home sat. The yard was littered with hulks of old cars and an assortment of junk; the trailer itself looked like it might have collapsed in a strong wind. Tania knew she would probably find herself alone in this hell-hole. Her mother would be at work, and her father would be at his favorite neighborhood tavern, unless he was passed out on the creaky, threadbare, soiled couch. Tania felt she hardly knew her parents, though she had spent her entire life with them. Her father Daniel ?Bud? Franklin was little more than a hopeless drunk who hadn't been able to hold down a steady job in more than a year. Her mother, Elaine, despite spending most of each day on her feet, doing the hard, poorly paying job of tending bar, spent most nights out with her girlfriends. Elaine Franklin wasn't a drunk like her husband, though. While his escape was in the bottom of the bottle, hers was in the protective cocoon of her friends. Years of misery, poverty and loneliness had filled Tania with conflicting feelings of pity and hatred for her parents. Sometimes she cried for her father and his illness and hated her mother for seemingly ignoring it; more often, she hated her father for the sad creature he had become and pitied her mother for her desperation to escape him. Tania's greatest fear was repeating the pattern of her mother's life. Hers must be dramatically different, she told herself. One night, she had an epiphany: it was men who held the true power in the world, economically and socially; so naturally, there was only one way to put herself in a position to truly control her own destiny. Tania had to become a man. At first, the idea had seemed absurd to her. A person born in the body of one gender didn't suddenly become a member of the opposite gender. They didn't, that is, unless magic was somehow involved. And Tania was one of the few 17-year-olds who still clung to a childhood belief in the reality of magic. Most of the time, Tania kept her past locked away in a corner of her mind she avoided visiting. When she thought back to her earlier years, most of Tania's memories were painful; loud, abusive, alcohol-fueled fights between her parents; meager or forgotten meals; unremembered birthdays; a sense of shame that she was part of this family. Through it all, she had managed to cling to a few happy memories; they revolved around her mother reading fairy tales to her. She would spend hours pretending to be Cinderella, or flying off to Neverland with Peter Pan. It was fitting that it was a box that housed evidence of those few sweet moments that was also the hiding place for the keys to Tania's future. The box sat on the floor of her closet. On top were a few tattered story books, a worn rag doll and a couple of stuffed animals....the few items that had provided her with comfort and refuge in those years of early pain. Tania hurried home after school almost every day, pulled the box from the closet, then uncovered the secret treasures hidden at its bottom. At a glance, they appeared as worthless as the other items: a small, moldy-smelling book bound between badly-tattered leather covers; a vial containing a small amount of crystalline powder; and a simple pendant necklace with an oddly translucent stone. But Tania had paid dearly for these items. It had taken hundreds of dollars, dollars she had been secretly accumulating for years, stealing from her mother's purse, her father's wallet, and the register at the cafeteria of her previous school where she had worked at breakfast-time. Accumulating the funds had taken deception, patience and a certain degree of bravery; tracking down the items now before her had been even more difficult, but here, persistence had also paid off. Seating herself on the floor, she carefully opened the musty old book and once more took up the task of memorizing the complicated spell detailed within its covers. Almost anyone who overheard her would have been puzzled by the language, which sounded like a strange mixture of several tongues, full of long syllables and hard constants; vowels were relatively scarce. Tania focused her mind with an intensity she had never before summoned in her seventeen years. What she had to do, had to be done quickly and precisely or it would not work. As she practiced her chanting, she held in her left hand the stone that would focus the spell's energy and allow its magic to become reality. While Tania was practicing her magic, Timothy was busy in his bedroom, engaged in a mental drill of a different sort. He was captain of the school's debate team this year, and had assembled a mass of data on the issue of whether the United States should have a national health care system. He was working to assemble the reams of data he had gathered to present arguments that would be as persuasive as possible. His concentration was, in its own way, just as intense as Tania's; his sense of loneliness was just as real. Over the next couple of weeks, Timothy noticed Tania everywhere he went. They seemed to pass each other in the hall all the time. She began sitting a few tables away from him in the cafeteria. When he went to the library to study, she seemed to always be there. He found himself battling conflicting feelings. He wondered if this girl was following him; and if she was, what did it mean? Was she interested in him? He had to admit to himself that he found her attractive in what he thought of as a dirty sort of way, and it made him feel ashamed?and excited. There was no denying that the girl was desirable, but she was unquestionably part of the ?wrong? crowd. Yet that was part of her appeal. He tried to tell himself that he was letting his imagination run wild. Timothy wasn?t paranoid; Tania was shadowing him. She wanted to become familiar with his daily routine in as intimate a way as she could. After a few more weeks, she was ready to put the second part of her plan into action. She went to the study skills center to sign up for tutoring help in Algebra II. She did this after finding out that Timothy was the only available tutor. She made an appointment for a session in the school?s media center at 4 p.m. on the following Thursday, and prepared to spring her trap. Timothy had finished with his prior appointment and was going over his debate material, when he looked up to see Tania standing before him. He couldn?t hide his startled expression; he hadn?t known her name. This was THE girl. ?Hi, I?m Timothy,? he said, standing up and pulling out a chair. Tania smiled and sat down. ?Such a gentleman. I?m Tania.? They made small talk for a few minutes. Tania could see how aroused and uncomfortable he was. She thought briefly about the power she possessed over him, but had no second thoughts about what she was about to do. This would lead to power that was far greater and more lasting. They settled in to work. As Timothy demonstrated problems from the book, she moved steadily closer to him. First, she would just brush against him, seemingly accidentally; as the minutes passed, she grew bolder. She had worn an extra-low cut top that day, and made sure he had an extended look at her cleavage. Soon, she had her arm around the back of his chair, and her right breast pressed against his side. Timothy had been trying his best to ignore what seemed like obvious flirting, but couldn?t do so any longer. ?Tania?are you coming on to me?? ?Yes!? she exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around him and pulled his face toward hers. Their lips locked in a deep kiss. There was more aggression than passion in it, as Tania roughly forced her tongue deep into Timothy?s mouth. The kiss had the desired effect. When she broke the embrace, Timothy was too startled to do anything as Tania began to chant the spell she had practiced hundreds of times. She held on to her necklace?s magic stone with one hand and tossed a few grains of the powder into the air. When she had completed the incantation, everything went white for both of them. For a brief instant, they both felt the sensation of nothingness. Then Timothy experienced what felt like a blow to the solar plexus, opened his eyes, and found himself strangely disoriented. He couldn?t figure out why he was looking at this own body. Then the awful realization of what had happened dawned: that his mind was somehow now in Tania?s body. Tania, however, knew exactly what had happened. She jumped to her feet in her new body and cried out, ?Yes! This is awesome! This is SO FUCKING AWESOME!? Then she looked down at the girl who sat in the chair beside her. ?Oh,? Timothy said. ?What?.what happened?? ?Don?t you understand, babe?? Tania said with a harsh laugh. ?You?re now in my body, and I?m in yours!? ?But how?why?? ?How? That spell I just cast. Why? Because I?m sick and tired of being a powerless, poor, nothing female.? ?Tell me this isn?t happening. Tell me this isn?t happening.? The new Timothy reached down and squeezed a breast that had moments before been hers. ?Ow!? Timothy cried. ?Now tell me it isn?t happening!? she laughed. ?Oh, this is so damn perfect. I get to be a male?a male with power and status?and money. I know how rich that father of yours is.? The new Timothy reached down and removed the necklace from his former body. ?What about me?? the new Tania said weakly. ?That?s your problem, now babe,? the new Timothy said. ?But look, I won?t leave you high and dry. I won?t make you take the bus home today. I?ll give you a ride.? ?I can?t go to your house.? ?A, I live in a trailer, not a house, and B, where the hell else are you going to go?? Timothy, now Tania, swallowed hard, nodded, and started to gather up the books he had brought to the library. The new Timothy stopped her. ?Uh-uh. These are mine now. Those are yours. Come on, let?s get going. I can?t wait to get to my new home. A real house. And a damn nice one.? The new Tania followed the new Timothy to the parking lot. She was so stunned, she didn?t realize she was walking in high-heeled sandals. Timothy took the keys from his pocket and climbed behind the wheel. Tania slid into the passenger seat of the wagon. ?Your parents are Bud and Elaine. You better call them mom and dad?although I?ve always thought of them as that pathetic bastard and that sad bitch. She works days. Tends bar. He?s working nights now, on a loading dock at United Grocery. You?re lucky.? ?What do you mean by that?? ?The fact that he?s working nights and sleeping days means you won?t have to deal with him much. But when his drinking gets worse again, and believe me, it will, he?ll lose this job?just like he?s lost dozens of others. And then you?ll have him around the trailer all day getting bombed. Believe me, it?s not pleasant.? Tania shuddered and looked out the window. The light cloud cover that had prevailed most of the day was being replaced by ominous, darker clouds. She noticed they were passing the industrial area on the outskirts of the city. There were a lot of warehouses, auto repair shops and trailer parks. Finally, they turned down a gravel road, came to a clearing, and found the Franklin family?s decrepit excuse for a home. ?Get out!? Timothy ordered. ?It?s just after 5. Bud?s asleep, and Elaine won?t be home until a little after 6. You can figure out the lay of your land.? ?Which bedroom do I use?? Tania asked as she climbed out of the car. Timothy shook his head in disgust that she could ask such a stupid question. ?The one that Bud isn?t snoring his damn head off in. Get it through your head. This isn?t a mansion like you live--lived--in.? With that Timothy peeled out and left the new girl standing there, utterly bewildered and alone. Tania said a silent prayer to herself that she would soon wake up from the strangest nightmare of her life. She stood staring at the trailer for several minutes. When the first raindrops came, she decided to seek shelter inside. The first thing that she noticed inside was the darkness. Only a couple of low- wattage bulbs illuminated the kitchen and living area, and the blinds were drawn tightly. Then the stench of sweat, beer and stale tobacco assaulted her nostrils. Every piece of furniture in the room looked like it had been rescued from the reject pile at a Salvation Army store. Indeed, some of it had. Tania explored the rest of the trailer, which didn?t take long. She found the bathroom, then the bedroom where Bud was indeed in a deep and noisy slumber. Next she stepped into the bedroom that would now be hers. She looked through the closet full of tattered jeans, T-shirts, and a couple of daringly short dresses. ?I wouldn?t be caught dead in any of this,? she said to herself. ?I wish I was dead.? She rummaged through the battered bureau and found a jumble of bras, panties, tube tops, empty cigarette packs and tampon containers. She collapsed on the bed and began to sob. After several minutes she felt a strange, insistent sensation coming over her. Her already tense nerves seemed to be stretching to the breaking point. She was lightheaded and couldn?t breathe. She thought she might be having a heart attack. ?Got to think,? she told herself. ?Got to think.? Then it hit her. It had to be nicotine withdrawal. She knew Tania had been a heavy smoker, and she had probably had her last one hours ago. The thought of smoking a cigarette filled her with disgust. But she finally decided anything was better than feeling like this. Just this once, she told herself. She rummaged through the purse, now her purse, and found the pack and a lighter. She glanced out the window and saw that the rain had turned into a downpour. She didn?t care. She had to have air. And she had to have a cigarette. Tania stepped out onto the porch, and with a trembling hand, lit the cigarette. Her body seemed to take over at that point, and she inhaled deeply. Her breasts rose and fell as she exhaled a long stream of smoke. The infusion of nicotine brought physical, but not emotional, relief. She began to cry again. She stood there, smoking, trembling and crying. The wind began to blow the rain against her, and the fresh rainwater mixed with the salty tears on her face. ?Please God,? she begged. ?Please get me out of this.? She had just about finished the cigarette when Elaine Franklin pulled up in the rusty and battered 22-year-old Ford Fairmont that served as the family?s car. She rushed to her daughter, asking. ?Honey? What?s wrong?? ?Oh,? Tania gasped. ?Oh, I?ve had the most terrible day.? ?Come on in dear, and tell me all about it.? The mother and daughter went inside. Tania tried to come up with a convincing story about being hassled by a teacher and harassed by a group of the rich girls. Although it was far from the truth, the presence of a loving, sympathetic ear seemed to help her unburden herself. She looked into Elaine Franklin?s careworn, heavily-lined face. The woman had obviously been attractive when young. But now she had to be at least 50, but seemed far older. Elaine lit a cigarette, and without thinking, Tania reached for the pack. To her horror, Tania soon realized she was smoking another cigarette. Finally her new mother asked, ?Do you want something to eat, honey?? ?No thanks?.mom. I?m really not hungry. I?m just going to study for a while and go to bed.? ?I?m glad you?re still trying, sweetie. I know I shouldn?t say this, but sometimes I wonder why you bother. No matter what you do, those damn teachers don?t want to give you credit for it.? Timothy, meanwhile, had found his way to the Fairchild home. It wasn?t a mansion, but it was close. Before the rain began to fall too heavily, he walked around the vast front yard and explored the rear, where he found a swimming pool and a top-of-the-line barbecue. ?Shit,? he muttered to himself as he ran his hands over the vast expanse of brick and gleaming chrome. ?This thing probably cost more than Bud and Elaine make in a year.? As the rain began to fall more heavily, he went inside to explore the wonders of his new home. He delighted in the luxurious furniture, the expansive kitchen, the family room dominated by a giant screen TV. ?Toto,? he chuckled. ?We?re not in Kansas anymore.? A few minutes later he was in the bathroom. Nobody was there to hear the laughter. He was delighted at being able to urinate standing up for the first time in his life. On the other side of the rainbow, Tania sat on her bed, going through her class work. Most of these courses were ones he had already taken as Timothy. At least that wouldn?t pose a problem. She soon felt a great weariness overcome her. She peeled off her T-shirt, stepped out of her jeans, and climbed into bed. She remembered that Timothy had told her to be up by 6, in order to prepare Bud?s dinner and be ready for school by the time the bus arrived at 7:15. Mercifully, she soon fell into a deep sleep. Her mother had already left for work by the time she was up. The next morning, while Timothy continued to revel in his new male form (he spent a long time playing with his cock and balls in the shower, enjoying the luxury of the warm water), Tania was beginning to fit together the jagged pieces of her new life. She showered too, and realized she?d have to get through it very quickly from now on. The supply of hot water in the trailer?s heater was quickly depleted. She got dressed in the cleanest clothes she could find and thought she was ready to go, when she realized she hadn?t put on any makeup. The thought of it repelled her. But she realized that people would realize something was amiss if she wasn?t wearing any. She stepped into the bathroom, and found that somehow-- perhaps it was muscle memory--she knew how to apply cosmetics. She put on lipstick, mascara, and eye shadow, though not as heavily as Tania usually had. Then she went into the kitchen. She quickly had scrambled eggs, toast, bacon (not too crisp) and black coffee ready at 7 o?clock, just as Bud Franklin walked through the door. ?Hi,? he said dully as he plopped himself down at the small dining table. ?Hi, dad,? Tania said. Bud dove into the food. Tania noticed that he chewed with his mouth open. She had felt genuine warmth from her new mother, but her new father produced only an empty reaction. It was as if he didn?t even notice she was there. Tania heard the school bus outside. ?There?s my bus,? she said, slinging her purse over her shoulder and gathering her books. ?I better get going.? ?Uh-huh,? Bud said between bites. Tania climbed aboard the school bus. The ride was long, bumpy, and the diesel fumes made her feel nauseous. Finally, a few minutes before 8, the bus deposited her in the parking lot of Wilson High. She had checked Tania?s schedule, and knew her first class wasn?t until 8:40. What was she going to do with herself until then? ?Hey, Tania!? a female voice called out. She turned, and saw one of the Goth girls standing before her. Tania had never met the girl before, but somehow knew she was Angela. ?What?s the matter? You look lost. Come on,? she said, pointing to the spot on the edge of the campus where Tania?s crowd--her crowd--hung out. ?Let?s go have a smoke.? ?Oh,? Tania said. ?Oh, sure.? ?What?s wrong? Bud giving you shit again?? ?Yeah,? Tania said. ?Yeah, that?s it.? Tania found herself in the middle of the group she had thought of as Goths, stoners, slackers?.the losers of Wilson High. She shuddered as she realized she was now one of them. She was finishing her second cigarette when she noticed the Volvo station wagon pulling into a parking space, Timothy at the wheel. She realized it was almost an exact replay of the moment when she had first laid eyes on her. Only now the roles were reversed. It was Timothy who had the look of self-satisfied assurance, and Tania who was frightened, and alone. The school day passed in a haze. Tania moved from class to class, but hardly absorbed a word any of the teachers said. In the hall after school, she found herself gazing at Derrick Sampson, quarterback of the football team. She noticed his broad shoulders, his wavy brown hair?and when he passed, his killer tush. ?Oh dear God,? she thought. ?Don?t tell me I?m going to be attracted to men.? Soon she was outside, waiting for the bus, waiting for a ride home to a different hell; the hell that was now her home. After supper, which she mostly left uneaten, Tania retreated to her bedroom. She spent a long time, staring at the dirty walls and the leak-stained ceiling, trying not to move, think, do anything. Finally she got up. Some urge caused her to begin searching deeper among the pitiful few possessions the former occupant of her body had left behind. In a corner of the closet floor, she found it, among the box of Tania?s childhood keepsakes. An old, dirty, stained teddy bear. The stuffed toy was clearly worse for the wear. It appeared as if an animal had chewed off one of its legs. One of its button eyes was missing. In an instant, Tania knew what it was?her most treasured possession. She found herself sitting on the floor, cradling the bear against her, rocking back and forth and crying. Tania?s first weekend as a female and the beginning of the next week passed in a haze Timothy began parking in a different corner of the lot, and she caught only an occasional glimpse of him around the school. So she was all the more surprised when she closed her locker after the last class of the day, turned around, and found Timothy smiling (or was it leering?) at her. ?Hey, babe!? ?What do you want?? she asked coldly. ?Don?t you have everything you want from me?? ?Is that any way to talk to the guy who made it possible for you to enjoy the wonders of womanhood?? Tania turned and started to walk away. Timothy grabbed her arm to stop her. ?Look,? he said. ?I want to take you out Friday night.? Tania wriggled free of his grasp. ?You have GOT to be kidding!? ?No, really,? he insisted. ?I want to know how you?re doing, see if I can help you out.? ?Haven?t you done enough?? Timothy reached into his pocket and pulled out a billfold that was thick with cash. ?I?ll make it worth your while. Come on, wouldn?t you like to have some money to buy some decent things?? Tania thought for a moment, then realized it was useless to argue. ?O-K,? she said with a sigh. ?When and where?? ?I?ll pick you up at the trailer, 6 o?clock Friday night. And why don?t you wear the red dress. You?re got good legs, baby. That will really show them off,? he said with a chuckle. ?Don?t look so down! Hey, tell Elaine you?re dating a doctor?s son! That will be sure to impress her.? Timothy turned and walked away. Tania muttered, ?You bastard--bitch,? but not loud enough for Timothy to hear. As Timothy had predicted, Elaine Franklin was indeed excited that her daughter was going on a date with a doctor?s son. It was all she could talk about for the rest of the week. When Friday evening approached, Tania took a shower. When she finished she went into her room, and stood naked for several moments before the open closet, debating if she should wear something else. She finally decided that submission was the better course, took the red dress off the hangar, and slipped it over her head. She couldn?t believe how short it was, and how tightly it fit. It was so low cut in the front, she couldn?t wear a bra. When she tried sitting down on the bed, she found herself trying to pull the hem forward to better conceal her crotch. ?Damn him.? she muttered. ?Damn him.? Tania went back into the bathroom to apply her makeup. She coated her lips with bright red lipstick and liberally applied mascara and eye shadow. For the first time, she put rouge on her cheeks. She doused herself with some of her mother?s cheap perfume. When she was finished, she appraised the results. ?I look like a whore,? she thought. ?And that seems to be exactly what he wants.? She was still standing before the mirror when she heard the crunch of gravel against tires outside. ?Honey!? her new mother called excitedly. ?Your date is here!? ?Be right there, mom,? she said with a sigh. When she stepped outside, she found Timothy standing by the open passenger door of the wagon. ?Get in, baby,? she said with a smirk. ?Aren?t you the gentleman,? Tania responded with a sarcastic tone. Timothy drove into the heart of the city. Tania soon found herself settling into a booth of an upscale eatery. Timothy?s attempts to engage her in light banter were met with increasingly terse replies. ?What?s wrong?? he asked. ?Everything about this is wrong. And I feel so self-conscious in this dress.? ?You better get used to showing off?mmm?.your assets. It?s the only thing you?ve got going for you.? Tania lit a cigarette, titled her head, and exhaled a long, thin plume through pursed lips. She was quickly acquiring the mannerisms of a practiced smoker. ?Don?t you smoke anymore?? she asked. ?Not in this body! This is a body I want to take care of! I?m a little surprised that you?re smoking,? ?So am I,? she said, exhaling another cloud. ?It really repelled me?still does. But it?s hard, when your parents, and everyone you hang out with does it. And it seems to?help me cope.? Timothy nodded in agreement. ?Well, keep it up. I like it. It enhances your bad girl image. And that excites me.? Tania quickly stubbed out the half-finished butt. She gave Timothy a close appraisal. ?You look?different.? ?I?ve started going to the health club with your--my--father. I?m working out.? He flexed a forearm. ?You really wasted the potential of this body.? ?Please Tania, please end this mad charade. Give me back my body. Give me back my life.? Timothy ignored her. ?I?m so well hung!? he exclaimed. ?I can?t wait to try this equipment out?maybe on you. Don?t worry about it hurting?your cherry was popped. A long time ago.? ?You disgust me.? Timothy grabbed her wrist and squeezed it hard. ?You?re hurting me,? she said. He let up on the pressure, but just slightly. ?Get one thing through your head, babe. I AM Timothy Fairchild. And I always will be. You?re Tania, and you always will be. Don?t EVER call me Tania again.? Then he released her wrist, and his mood seemed to lighten a bit. ?So. How are classes going?? Her response was interrupted when the waiter brought their food. Timothy greedily attacked his New York steak, while Tania barely touched her poached salmon. ?So what about classes?? he repeated between bites a couple of minutes later. ?Oh, O-K, I guess. I had almost all of these last year.? A pause. ?Don?t take this the wrong way, but you weren?t much of a student. I?m trying to figure out a way to gradually improve, without setting off any alarm bells in the teachers? heads.? ?Don?t bother. They won?t pay attention to anything you do.? Tania let the remark pass, but it came back to her again and again in the weeks that followed. When she tried to speak in class, she found some teachers ignoring her raised hand, while coming back to certain favored students again and again. If she was allowed to speak, the same teachers who had positively responded to what Timothy had to say would listen to Tania, mutter something like, ?Hmmm. Well. Does anyone else have something worthwhile to say,? and quickly move on to one of her classmates. Her written work scarcely fared better. She held her own in math classes, where the results were more or less objective; but in other courses, like English, the best she could muster was damnation with faint praise. One paper she had labored over came back with a large ?C-. Keep trying!? emblazoned on it. There were small consolations. She found herself genuinely drawn to some of the students she spent time with on the fringe of campus. Angela, in particular, seemed warm, smart and funny, with a pointed, often wicked sense of humor; she took special delight in skewering the pretensions of the school?s in-crowd. She had started hanging out with the group out of sheer loneliness; gradually, she found herself enjoying their company. She found her new mother to be a person of truly good heart, but one who had clearly been worn down by life?s struggles. As for her new father?.she was at least grateful she didn?t see much of him. Soon enough, the weekend would roll around. She was spending most Friday and Saturday nights with Timothy. He would take her out to eat, often to a movie, sometimes to a trendy club where he?d pressure her into dancing. He would bump and grind suggestively, but Tania was relieved he had backed away from any kind of direct physical overtures. She concluded these ?dates? were one more form of his psychological torture. The evening would always end the same way, with him pressing a handful of bills into her hand. ?Buy yourself some new outfits,? he said. ?Get something for the trailer. And buy some decent smokes. Those generics are awful. Don?t worry, Bud and Elaine won?t notice.? And then he would speed away. Tania looked at the cash in her hand and shook her head. Perhaps it was a token of whatever buried feelings of guilt he might have. Whatever it was, she would take it. Tania?s adjustment to her new form was slow, and tentative. Among the first things she noticed was how long it took to dry her shoulder-length hair after washing it. And she was amazed by the degree of sensitivity of her breasts, especially to heat and cold. She suddenly realized why she saw so many girls with the arms folded across their chests when she found herself instinctively taking the same action one chilly morning. It was a couple of weeks after the swap when she began to explore her body in a more intimate way. She was lying in bed, finding it difficult to sleep. As she reached upward to push a strand of hair out of her face, her left hand brushed across her nipple. She felt it instantly stiffen, and experienced a sensation like a small electric charge between her thighs. Suddenly, she couldn?t help herself. She continued rubbing the nipple, then began doing the same to her right breast. The nipples became like two steel points. She felt a wave of pleasure beginning to wash over her. She then cupped her left breast in her left hand, gently squeezing it as she increased the friction against the rock-hard nipple. She felt the waves of pleasure beginning to wash over her. At that moment, instinct seemed to take over, and her hands moved to her pussy. She used one hand to open the lips and found her clit. She used the fingers of the other hand to begin rubbing at its base; then she switched to a circular motion on top of the nub. She found her legs involuntarily spreading apart and her pelvis tipping upward. When it came, the climax left her with a feeling of sweet relief. As Timothy, she hadn?t masturbated often, but she could look back and remember a feeling of energy bursting outward. The female orgasm was different, deeper, and made her think of an inward explosion, rippling through her body in pleasant waves. It seemed to be one of the few consolations open to her, and it soon became a nightly ritual. After a few more days, she began to notice a dull, achy feeling in her abdomen. At first she thought it might have been something she ate, but the feeling persisted. Then it spread to her lower back. Her already tense mood noticeably worsened, and she felt particularly irritable and edge. Her skin, which had been clear, seemed slightly oily, and she noticed a small blemish on her forehead, which she covered with makeup After a couple of days, she still hadn?t put the picture together.. One morning as she stood smoking with her new friends, Amber asked, ?What?s the matter? Period worse than usual? You need a Midol or something?? Tania gulped hard. In the women?s restroom that day, she discovered signs of vaginal discharge and spots of blood on her panties. She began to cry. It was one of the moments when a fleeting thought of suicide crossed her mind. At home that afternoon, she found the box of tampons in the bathroom. By this time, the flow of blood was increasing. She carefully read the instructions, sat down on the toilet, and made her first attempt to insert one. She sat on the toilet with her legs apart, leaning forward as the insert suggested. She pulled open the folds, and with trembling hands, guided the tampon into her body. She removed the applicator, and checked to be sure the withdrawal cord was free. She hadn?t had too much trouble; once again, she had experienced a strange, vague sensation of d?j? vu, even though she had never done this before. Tania checked over the instructions again to make sure she had done everything right. For the first time, she noticed the admonition to change the tampon every four to eight hours. ?Four to eight hours? Oh great!? she muttered. Then she shuddered, realizing she would be doing this for the next 25 years or so. Her weekend dates continued. Timothy seemed to take a sadistic delight in sharing with her the joys of his new life. Swimming in the pool, working out at the club. And as for classes, ?You know what? I?m still doing shit work. And they don?t care. They expect Timothy Fairchild to turn out good work, so they let me get away with murder!? It gnawed at Tania at first, but she finally learned how to tune it out. Tania gradually settled into the rhythm of her new life, though there continued to be plenty of rough patches. As Timothy had predicted, Bud Franklin soon lost his job. When he wasn?t snoring away in his bed or on the couch, he was drinking one beer after another. Although it would have only taken him about six steps to get to the refrigerator, he would always order Tania or his wife to bring one. He would guzzle the beer, belch, and drop the empty can on the floor. The loss of Bud?s income left the Franklins in even more desperate financial straits. Tania was all the more grateful for the cash she was getting from Timothy. She used it to augment the family?s grocery supply. Her mother never asked where she was getting the money to buy things. She also did her best to make the trailer a more livable place, sweeping, dusting, scrubbing the dirty walls. One day her mother came home to find her scrubbing the filthy stovetop, looked at her and smiled. ?Aren?t you the little homemaker,? she said. Tania smiled and simply said, ?Thanks, mom.? By the time six weeks had passed, Tania?s dread of her ?dates? had turned to grudging acceptance. As she busied herself getting ready that Friday, she found herself actually trying to look as sexy as she could. She put on a red blouse and a black leather mini-skirt, items Timothy had directed her to buy. The realization that she was giving in to his urgings puzzled and disturbed her. She didn?t have time to analyze it further, because that was when she saw the headlights outside the bathroom window. Tania stepped out onto the creaky porch to find Timothy waiting for her--not behind the wheel of the Volvo wagon, but in a new Porsche. She walked up to the sleek sports car, amazed. ?How did you get this car?? ?Oh,? Timothy laughed. ?Your father bought it for me. He?s quite happy with the changes in me. He said it?s nice to see me finally becoming a man.? He laughed. It was a cruel, harsh laugh. ?Isn?t that SO ironic?? He reached over to open the door and commanded, ?Get in. Now.? The next hour was the most hellish of the new Tania?s life. She slipped into the front seat of the Porsche. One more alarm bell went off in her head when Timothy handed her a $100 bill. He had always given her the cash at the end of the evening before. Something--she thought later it might have been her feminine intuition--told her that danger was ahead. At first, Timothy?s behavior seemed no more condescending that usual. But Tania felt greater pangs of worry when, instead of continuing into the city, he abruptly pulled the Porsche onto the shoulder of the road. ?You know,? he said. ?My father doesn?t understand why I keep going out with you. He said I could have any girl in school I wanted. He called you ?trailer trash.? God, how I hated being called that. But that?s what you are, Tania, trailer trash! Don?t you know that?? Tania looked into her lap and remained silent. ?Come on, bitch!? he barked, grabbing her wrist. ?I asked you a question!? ?That hurts!? Tania wailed. She began to cry. ?Yes, yes, I?m trailer trash! Is that what you want me to say, Tania!? Timothy let go of her wrist and then slapped her across the face. ?God damn it!? he shouted. ?You?re Tania! I AM TIMOTHY FAIRCHILD! And I always will be! You better get that through your head!? He paused for a moment and the tearful Tania prayed that he was calming down. It turned out he was only calculating his next move. ?You bought that blouse with the money I gave you, right?? He didn?t give her time to answer. ?I don?t like it. It doesn?t show off your tits nearly well enough.? He grabbed hold of the fabric and yanked the garment open. ?Besides, I?m tired of paying out and not getting my money?s worth.? He advanced on her with a crazed look in his eyes. That was the last thing Tania remembered before she woke up, in a hospital bed. She was groggy, confused. Her mother and a nurse were standing over her. She had a heavy bandage on her head, an IV in her arm, and she felt numb all over. As her mind cleared, she was finally able to piece together what happened from the disjointed fragments her mother and the nurse shared with her. Timothy had raped her. The medical evidence was clear. A passing police car had apparently stopped to investigate the muffled screams the officers heard coming from the parked car. When he saw the police, Timothy had started up the car and sped away from the spot where they were parked, traveling only a short distance before colliding head-on with a semi-truck. ?You don?t have any broken bones or other serious injuries,? the nurse said. ?But that animal raped her!? Tania?s mother cried. ?I?m not discounting that, Mrs. Franklin,? the nurse said. ?It?s just that she?s lucky to be in such good shape overall, especially considering what happened to the boy.? A feeling of cold dread overcame Tania. ?What are you talking about?? ?Well,? the nurse said. ?There?s no easy way to put it. He?s dead.? ?DEAD!? Tania screamed. Over and over she cried, ?Oh my God,? until the nurse gave her a shot that sent her into unconsciousness. One of the last things she heard was her mother saying, ?I don?t know why she gives a damn about what happened to that horrible boy.? Tania?s mother didn?t know it, of course, but the death of Timothy Fairchild?s body had finally, irrevocably sealed her destiny to spend the rest of his life as a female. Tania was released from the hospital two days later. She was very, very sore, had numerous bruises, a cut on her forehead that had required a couple of stitches, and a deep gash on her left forearm, but came to see herself as very lucky. She was thankful she didn?t remember the rape, though she was haunted by the violence and strangeness of it. She heard that his--Tim?s--parents were, naturally, devastated. She wanted more than anything to rush to them, to tell them that their son was still alive, just trapped in a female body, but she knew that was impossible. Slowly, she resumed what now passed for her normal life. She went back to school, without much enthusiasm. She knew by now the teachers expected nothing from her, so she offered them nothing. Her first report card as a female featured a B, four Cs and a D. It was an improvement from the former Tania?s string of Ds and Fs, but represented a mighty fall from the straight A?s Timothy was used to. She left it on the dining table of the trailer; as best she could tell, neither parent bothered to look at it. She had only been female for three months when the rape happened, so when a certain monthly cycle failed to occur, she didn?t even notice it. But eventually, her mother did. ?Honey,? she said one afternoon. ?Have you missed your period?? ?My period? Oh my--You?re not thinking--?? ?Oh God, honey, I hope not.? Once more, Tania was overcome by the same cold dread she felt the last night of her male body?s life. Her mother flew out the door without a word, and returned about 20 minutes later, clutching a bag from Walgreen?s. ?What have you got?? ?A pregnancy test.? ?But I can?t--? ?Honey, we have to know.? Several minutes later, the blue line gave them the answer. Although a trip to the doctor would provide official confirmation, Tania knew that she was pregnant. She felt dizzy, lightheaded. ?This is?.this too much,? she said, beginning to cry. Her mother helped her to bed, assuring her that things would be clearer in the morning. But in her heart, Tania already knew what her course would be. She had been raised in a strict Catholic household, and those core values remained; there was no way she would terminate the pregnancy. Tania Franklin, former male, was going to become a mother. ?Oh, God, what kind of cruel joke is this?? she thought. ?I?m going to be the mother--and the father!? The news sealed her decision to leave school; she didn?t see any point in continuing the charade. The disappearance of Tania Franklin from the halls of Wilson High School was only noted by those in her small circle of friends. She spent her days at home, watching the mind-numbing routine of daytime TV when she could stand to be in the same room with her drunken father. When she couldn?t stand it, she retreated to her bedroom and read her mother?s trashy romance novels. On most days, she wore only one of her father?s old T-shirts and a pair of panties around the trailer. One morning as she stood on the cold, cracked linoleum of the kitchen area, making coffee, she realized she hadn?t bothered to put on her slippers. ?Barefoot and pregnant, ? she muttered to herself. She found herself smoking more heavily than ever, and not caring. Tania was trying to numb her mind to the reality that confronted her every morning when she threw up, and every time she looked down at her steadily expanding abdomen. She began to think of herself more and more as a powerless passenger in her body, rather than an active participant in her life. The epiphany came during the 11th week of her pregnancy, during her visit to the public health clinic for her checkup. For the first time, she heard the heartbeat of the baby that was growing inside of her. ?Oh, my gosh,? she said with quiet wonderment. She made an instantaneous decision. ?Doctor,? she said. ?I need to quit smoking.? The doctor gave a weary sigh and said, ?That?s what I?ve been trying to tell you all along, Tania.? But he could tell she meant it, and gave her a supply of nicotine patches. The next few weeks were particularly hellish, as Tania struggled with the changes brought to her body by both pregnancy and nicotine withdrawal. She took walks. She drank water by the quart. And with steel resolve brought on by the awareness of the life growing in her womb, she won her battle with tobacco. She also started doing pregnancy exercises, and began eating a better-balanced diet. By the eighth month of her pregnancy, Tania was praying for the baby to come. She was enduring pelvic pain, sore ligaments and swollen gums. She was retaining fluids; in short, she was miserable. She wondered why any woman would willingly endure this torture. The doctor gave her a pat on the shoulder, reassured her that all of this was normal, and would pass soon. And so it did. Early one Thursday evening, she began to feel the first contractions. At first, she found them to be similar to the cramps that heralded the arrival of her period. But as they increased in intensity and frequency, her mother knew it was time for the trip to the hospital. She picked up the small overnight bag she had packed and helped her daughter to the car. She saw the pain and concern on Tania?s face. She smiled and said, ?Don?t worry, honey. If you?re lucky, your baby will be here in a few hours. And I?ll be a grandmother.? Tania managed a weak smile in return. At the hospital, she soon found herself in a bed in the maternity unit. As the contractions increased, so did her pain. She fought the urge to throw up. She cursed Timothy?s name a couple of times. Finally, it was time to enter the delivery room. Tania struggled mightily to keep up with the instructions of the doctors and nurses to breathe rhythmically and push. ?If it?s so damn easy, you do it,? she snapped at one point. An older nurse wiped her sweaty forehead and said gently, ?I have, dear. Four times.? The burning sensation increased. She knew the moment was finally at hand. With one final push, her son was born. She was too exhausted, too spent to say or do anything. Then she heard the baby?s first cry. ?Congratulations,? the doctor said. ?Your son looks perfect.? Tania glanced on the clock on the wall. It was seven minutes after midnight. She had become a mother one year to the day after she had become a woman. ?Would you like to hold your son?? the nurse asked. ?Oh, yes,? she said, and drew the baby to her. She tenderly cradled him between her breasts. ?Hi Tommy,? she said, calling him by the name she had chosen for the first time. ?Hi guy!? she said happily. ?Welcome to the world! It can be a pretty strange place sometimes!? The doctor and nurses, of course, didn?t understand the amazing story behind that statement. When she cradled the tiny baby against her, this new life that had grown inside her, something wonderful occurred. All the torment and misery of the past year seemed to fade into the background. Suddenly, life seemed to make sense, and for a moment, it was beautiful again. She spent almost an hour touching him, cuddling him, talking to him softly and lovingly. When she brought the infant to her breast to nurse for the first time, tears of joy and relief flowed out of her. It was too bad that feeling couldn?t last. She came home to the realities of being a new parent, and a single parent. Her days seemed to be an endless cycle of spit, tears and poop. She was perpetually sleep-starved. But she also took genuine joy in watching her son?s development. She would sit in the battered rocking chair her mother had purchased at a thrift store, holding and rocking the infant. And there were a few other happy notes. The arrival of the baby seemed to awaken something deep within Bud Franklin. The first time he saw Tommy, he declared, ?He?s beautiful, kid. You know, I?ve always loved you?but I always dreamed of having a boy.? Bud stopped drinking again. This time, he got a job at a car wash. The extra money helped buy the baby food, diapers, and other things his grandson needed. Bud?s re-emergence as a responsible parent surprised, and pleased Tania. But she couldn?t help wish her birth parents would come forward to become part of their grandson?s life. She hadn?t heard one word from them. No doubt, she thought, they somehow blamed her for the fatal tragedy. When the baby was six months old, Tania reached another turning point. She knew she couldn?t spend the rest of her life in the trailer. She had to make a life for herself and her son. But how, with no money or prospects, not even a high school diploma? Timothy had dreamed of becoming a lawyer, but Tania knew she couldn?t afford to attend a university, let alone law school. She had to develop more realistic goals within the constraints of her situation. Her first stop was the local community college, where she enrolled in a G.E.D. class. She easily earned the high school equivalency certificate. Next, she met with a counselor to discuss her options. She was surprised when the counselor suggested beauty school. Tania was taken aback--she had never imagined herself cutting other people?s hair or doing their nails--but the idea began to appeal to her. She decided the field offered more opportunities than a dead-end fast food job. When she found out she could qualify for financial aid, she decided to enroll. Her mother switched to the night shift at the tavern where she worked so she could care for Tommy during the day. Tania was happy to be back in school, and back in a setting where she was encouraged and expected to do well. Even better, she soon found she had a real flair for beauty work. She couldn?t believe there was so much to learn about things like shampooing, haircutting, styling, hair coloring, state laws and regulations?.and much more. As she advanced to working on other students, then customers, she found genuine happiness and pride in helping someone to look better. Her life was now so full--student by day, mother by night--that her shift from one body to another actually began to recede from the foreground of her mind. There were hours at a time, then even days, where she didn?t think about her former life. The realization dawned that she was truly beginning to think of herself as Tania, rather than Timothy trapped in Tania?s body. Thanks to the beauty school?s placement program, she had a job at a local salon immediately after graduation. She decided it was time for the next step, and told her mother she had decided to get a place of her own. Her mother tearfully pleaded with her to stay, but Tania said she thought it was time to move into adulthood. She promised to stay in close touch, and she kept the vow, bringing her baby over for a visit almost every weekend. Her new parents would never totally displace her birth parents, but she was grateful to them, and especially Elaine, for standing by her in her struggles. Tania had stayed in touch with Angela, her closest friend from her last weeks in school. Angela was also a single mother now, raising a girl that had born of a brief, passionate, but now-ended relationship. Angela had a night waitressing job, so the setup seemed perfect. ?Just you and me against the world, sister,? she said with a smile. Even with two incomes--modest but steady incomes--the women found it a struggle to make ends meet most of the time. But their determination, and their love for their children, allowed them to survive. One day, Tania was on a break between appointments the salon where she worked, when the receptionist summoned her to the front counter. ?Call for you.? She picked up the phone, and heard the voice of her birth mother for the first time in almost four years. ?Tania? This is Mrs. Fairchild--Timothy?s mother. You probably don?t want anything to do with me, but I?d really appreciate a chance to see you.? They made an appointment to meet later that afternoon at a nearby Starbucks. Tania found herself trembling when she spotted her birth mother walking through the door. She was pained when she realized how much she had aged. ?Hello, Tania,? she said as she sat down. ?I hope you?re well, and your son.? ?We?re doing fine, thanks, m-Mrs. Fairchild.? ?Let me get right to the point. Mr. Fairchild and I have divorced.? Tania couldn?t hide her expression of shock. ?Things have been very difficult since Timothy died.? She paused, but decided not to say anything more on the subject. ?I?m so sorry I never called or came to see you before. I desperately wanted to, but he forbade it. We argued about it endlessly, and he finally told me I had to choose him or you and the child. I chose you and the child. ?She choked up for just a moment. ?So, the reason I?m here, is that I?d like to become part of your life, and my grandson?s, if you?re willing.? ?I?d like that very much, Mrs. Fairchild. More than you can know. It would be wonderful for Tommy to know his other grandma.? ?When can I see him?? ?How about tonight?? Tania gave her birth mother directions to the small apartment she shared with Angela and her daughter. Mrs. Fairchild promised to be there at 7, and just as Tania expected, was there exactly on time. Tania held her son?s hand as she greeted her and said, ?Tommy, this nice lady is your other grandmother.? Mrs. Fairchild didn?t speak; she swept the three-year old into her arms and hugged him tightly. ?Oh, Tommy,? she finally said, fighting back tears, ?You don?t know how long I?ve waited to meet you.? ?I love you, gramma,? the boy said shyly. Later, after the boy had gone to bed, the two women sat on the lumpy living room couch. Mrs. Fairchild looked around the room. Everything was spotlessly clean, but old and worn out. She realized the women must have furnished the apartment with selections from thrift stores and garage sales. ?Tania,? she said as the young mother handed her a cup of coffee, ?I want to talk to about the other reason for my visit.? ?Other reason?? she asked, settling in beside her. ?I want to help you, and Tommy. Financially, and in any other way I can. I can see that you?re a wonderful mother, but I can tell that you?re struggling.? ?Oh--? Tania began. ?Now don?t try to kid me,? she said firmly. ?I can?t imagine how hard it must be for a single mother these days. I came out of my divorce very well off, and you and my grandson are the only people I have left in the world to care about.? Tania found herself fighting, and losing a battle against overwhelming emotion. ?Oh, Mrs. Fairchild, I--I don?t know what to say.? ?You don?t have to say anything,? she said, holding out her arms to embrace the woman who had once been her son. ?But there?s one thing I?d like to ask.? ?What?s that?? Tania said, wiping her tears. ?I?d like you to call me mom, if you?re comfortable with that.? The tears flowed freely again. ?Oh--mom, that?s wonderful. Just wonderful.? And for the first time since she was ripped away from her former life, she embraced her birth mother. As they hugged, Mrs. Fairchild said, ?I?m so sorry for everything Tim did to you. I don?t know what happened to him those last few months. It was like he was a different person.? And then she began to sob. Tania bit her lip, and she began to cry too. She had finally regained one of the most important pieces of her former life. Mrs. Fairchild soon became a regular customer of Tania?s, and encouraged her friends to do the same. After one appointment, as the happily inspected Tania?s handiwork, Mrs. Fairchild said, ?Tania, I?d like to have a talk with you about an idea I have, as soon as possible.? ?I have a break at 3:30,? Tania replied. They made a date to meet at the Starbucks. When Mrs. Fairchild sat down she said, ?How would you like to have a shop of your own? I?m willing to finance it? ?Really? Do you really think I?m ready?? ?Yes, I do. That beauty school also taught you about management, right? You have a real flair for hair styling, and you seem to truly enjoy it,? ?Yes, Tania said. ?I really do. I?ll accept, but only under one condition. That we consider this to be a loan.? Mrs. Fairchild argued, but Tania was insistent. They sealed the deal over a latte, and two months later, Tania opened a salon called Creative Hair Design in a vacant space in a mini-mall. At first, it was just her and one other stylist. They soon added a nail technician, and the business grew rapidly. After a little more than a year, Tania had to move the salon to larger quarters in another mall. After a few months in that location, the space next door opened up, and she added tanning beds. Life as a single mother was still challenging, but Tania found her financial burdens easing. She and Angela decided to part as roommates on a friendly basis and she moved to a better apartment in a nicer part of town when Tommy entered preschool. But the two women stayed in close touch, and when the receptionist position at her salon opened up, she persuaded Angela to take the job. ?I need my best friend to lean on,? Tania said. ?You?ve sold me,? Angela quickly responded. Then, relishing the thought of leaving witnessing behind, she added, ?And it will be so nice to be in a job where I can sit most of the time.? Tania had spent three years focused on caring for her son and building her business. Her customers loved coming to Creative Hair Design. They could count on Tania and her staff to stay up with the latest trends in the field, but also to provide them with high-quality, friendly service. Tania was too busy to notice the void that had opened in her life. It took Angela to point it out to her. It was late afternoon on a warm summer day. Tania had finished her appointments for the day and was in her office taking care of paperwork?or trying to. Angela walked into the office and found her boss and friend gazing absent- mindedly out the window. Her desk was piled high with beauty supply catalogs and assorted paperwork. But she was ignoring all of it, and watching the crew repairing the sidewalk across the street from the mall. ?Well, girl, I can see why you?re distracted.? ?Huh? What do you mean?? ?Oh come on, look at those muscle men! And doesn?t the one on the left have one damn nice ass?? Tania found herself blushing. ?I?.I don?t know what you mean,? she stammered. ?Oh come on! You?re a mother and a businesswoman, but you?re also a woman! Or have you forgotten?? Tania glanced down at her chest. No, she