A Different Plane of Existence
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A Different Plane Of Existence Part 3 free porn video
A Different Plane of Existence By Karen Page
(revised January 2005)
Edited by Angel O'Hare
Permission to use of characters from No Half Measures has been kindly
given by Jenny Walker.
Part Three
The capacity crowd in the stadium burst into a tumultuous applause as
the last contestant, from Zululand, stepped out of the tunnel carrying
his own Isijula spear.
The commentator gleefully updated the audience, "Russia is in third
place missing the target by three hundred centimetres. America is second
missing by only one hundred and fifty centimetres. Currently in first
place is the ex whale hunting harpooner from Japan missing by sixty
centimetres."
The starting bell rang and the contestant took a small run and hurled
the spear. It reached it peak and began its descent embedding itself
firmly into the parched grass.
"That was close," informed the commentator. "Just eighty centimetres
from the target. This places him in second position."
He walked back to the starting position and concentrated on the task.
The bell rang, signalling his second attempt and the final shot of the
contest. He took a slight run and a launched the spear into the air. As
the spear followed through its flight path the audience fell into
silence. People could tell that this was a very good shot and looked
like it might hit the target. As the spear gained downward velocity the
target became visible. It appeared to be a person tied to the floor with
their arms and legs spread like a giant X. The spear got closer to the
target and the face became visible. It was me.
***
The stillness of the ward at night was shattered with a piercing shriek.
Jasmine quickly glanced at her monitor and saw a visibly distraught
patient. She quickly left her station and entered Simon's room. Simon
was still lying down, his eyes tightly shut, tossing his head as he
tried to eradicate the vision that was feeding on his will to live.
Jasmine slightly lowered the inspection light and after turning up to
face the ceiling turned it on. This gave a low defused glow in the room.
The distress inflicted on him by the nightmare blocked out any other
observations. It was therefore quiet and a surprise to him when Jasmine
took his hands into hers.
"Nightmare?" asked Jasmine.
"Yes," responded Simon in a very weak voice. "I've never dreamt
something that seemed so real. I thought I was going to die."
Jasmine poured Simon a glass of water from the now rather warm bedside
jug. He took a small amount and rinsed it round his mouth, trying to
remove the nasty lingering taste.
"If you feel up to it, tell me about your dream. It will help you
settle."
Simon thought about it for a minute and then nodded his agreement. He
explained about the dream and discussed it with the kind nurse.
"It seems strange discussing it," Simon concluded.
"Why?"
"Well I feel sort of detached from the dream. At first it felt so real,
but now I can see how silly it was. I'm sorry for disturbing you."
"Disturbing me?" she said with a giggle. "I was just sat at the nurse's
station. It has been a change doing something other than prepare bed
schedules for tomorrow's surgeries. Now let me give you a quick bed bath
and some clean nightclothes. You appear to have excreted a significant
amount of sweat during your nightmare."
After Jasmine cleaned Simon up she helped him don his new clothes and he
settled down. Within five minutes, he was back asleep with Jasmine again
monitoring him from the nurse's station.
***
At half eight Dr Ruiz walked down to see Jasmine. "How is Simon this
morning?"
Sally walked in a few seconds later, carrying a large coffee, removed
her coat and hung it up.
"Fine, he woke at about seven and has been watching some music videos on
VH1. He had a traumatic nightmare at about two this morning, which
caused him to cry out. I comforted him and got him to tell me about the
dream. He went back to sleep at about three."
"Tell me about the nightmare."
"I wrote down the description so you can add it to your file." Jasmine
passed the paper.
"Thanks". Rachel spent the next few minute reading it she then passed it
to Sally to read. "What was his initial reaction?"
"Very withdrawn and quiet, he took a bit of encouragement to talk about
it and afterwards was a bit embarrassed and apologised for disturbing
me."
"Mmmm, Simon appears to have a very interesting personality. Since today
is Monday, we might be able to get somebody at his school. I know it is
a school holiday but we might be lucky."
"Dr Millard wants to remove the catheter later this morning," explained
Sally as she savoured her first real coffee of the day. "I will then
introduce him to urination using his new equipment. This will include a
discussion on hygiene."
"Can you give me some notice before you remove the catheter?" asked
Rachel. "I'd like to observer his reaction. I'll also come and speak
with him later after the removal on how he feels. We need to try and
keep him positive and see if we can move him forward."
"What about long term?" asked Jasmine. "Once he is physically healed
what will happen to him? If he goes to a children's home in this fragile
state he will probably end his life."
Dr Ruiz and Sally just nodded glumly; they had had similar thoughts and
were concerned to raise them as they tried to promote a positive
attitude for Simon's wellbeing.
***
"Hello Simon," opened Sally as she breezed into the room, livened up by
her coffee. "How are you today?"
"Feeling a bit better," responded Simon. "I suppose Jasmine told you
about the bad dream."
"Yes. It sounded horrible." Sally moved across to Simon and gave him a
tender hug which after a few seconds he tentatively returned.
"Thank you," said Simon softly as they parted. His body didn't appear to
be in as much pain as yesterday. He was able to move his arms without
much apparent pain. He appeared flustered not knowing how to respond.
"I've not had a hug like that from anybody other than my Mum and Dad."
Simon looked like he wanted to say something further so Sally just
nodded and waited for him to continue.
"Can I ask a favour?" he nervously asked.
"Ask away"
"Is it possible to borrow a CD player?"
"What do you want to listen to?" responded Sally.
"I was watching a video of Cara Malone's song No Half Measures and it
sort of reminded me of my current situation. The first verse starts of
with 'Yesterday's hopes are today's shattered dreams'. I think it is
about giving it your all in the face of adversity. While thinking about
the CD I remembered there was a track on the album she composed when her
mother died. I've been having trouble feeling anything since my parent's
death and I thought it might help me organise my thoughts."
"Let me see if somebody has the CD," responded Sally. "One of my other
flat mates, Tina, works in the children's ward. They have quite a
selection so I'm sure they will have it." She paused for a second and
continued with, "Today Dr Millard is planning to remove your catheter.
When he does you will be able to start moving around a bit. However if I
manage to find this CD and a CD player I want no dancing. You won't be
up to it!"
Simon gave a small smile at that and gave a small nod of acquiescence.
***
"Hey Tina, Sally here."
"Oh hiya. I'm on for Wednesday, if that's why you're ringing."
"Not quite, but it's good to know that the old drinking team will be
back together! Why I was ringing was that we have a younger patient down
here who has asked to borrow a CD. We have a player but would you happen
to have a copy of Cara Malone's album?"
"Of course we have it. It is very popular with the older children. I'll
see if I can get my hands on it later. If it's out it will be with Tom.
We've let him have a CD player by his bed since he can't move much. He
got his leg broken in that plane disaster."
"I thought most of the passengers were okay?"
"Apparently, he fell over as the passengers were being evacuated. Some
of the passengers behind him panicked and he was trampled on. Poor boy
has just moved to England with his mother from America. Not much of a
welcome to the country is it?"
***
"Hi, Dr Millard, are you going to remove the catheter?" asked Simon in a
slightly bored tone.
"Let me have a guess. You're bored and you want to get out of bed?"
Simon gave a small laugh his feelings growing for the doctor. He didn't
appear to be as stuffy as the doctors he saw when he had to have his
appendix removed.
"Well the catheter isn't stopping you getting out of bed. Yesterday you
were still getting over your operation and could hardly move. You needed
time to recover from the anaesthetic and surgery. However if all looks
like it is healing then we will remove the catheter. Keeping it in too
long isn't good for you. Now if you will please lie down and I'll check
you out."
Dr Millard removed the bandage and Sally pulled down the inspection
light and let it illuminate the wound.
"This is healing nicely," stated the doctor. "The swelling is reducing
and there are no obvious open wounds. I will remove the catheter which
should be relatively painless."
After the catheter was removed Simon felt a bit strange. "I feel a bit
draughty and bare. Are you going to bandage me up again?"
"I don't see any need to do so. Most of the physical wounds are healing
nicely. You will still need to take things easy over the next few days
but you will gradually get stronger. However Dr Ruiz is still concerned
about your mental wellbeing."
"I'm sorry that I was sharp with you both yesterday. I can only presume
it was the shock of my whole life just taking a major change. She helped
a lot later on yesterday and during the night Jasmine was excellent. I'm
not happy being a girl and have a lot to think about. I would love to
talk with Dr Ruiz later on today."
"I'll talk with her to try and get her down this afternoon. However,
before that Sally needs to explain about your new anatomy and how to go
to the toilet as a girl." With that, Dr Millard left leaving Sally alone
with a very nervous Simon.
Sally glanced at the half empty jug of water. "I see that you have had
plenty to drink so this should be easier. Since this is a private room
you have your own toilet so this shouldn't be too embarrassing."
"You're still incredibly weak from the operation," said Sally. "Would
you like to try urinating in the toilet or with a bedpan?"
"The toilet," Simon replied trying to inch towards the edge of the bed.
"I remember trying to use the bedpan after I had my appendix removed. I
hated it."
"Okay, the toilet it is," Sally replied helping Simon swing his legs
over the edge of the bed. "Now let me help you stand as you're still
weak."
"Why is it taking me so long to recover?" Simon asked impatiently.
"You had a very major operation," replied Sally ignoring Simon's
impatience. "Your body needs time to recover. You're doing very well to
be attempting to move so soon."
As Simon stood up he felt very unstable and held onto the bed to regain
his balance.
"Let me help you," offered Sally taking Simon's arm. Propping him up
Sally slowly helped Simon along.
"Okay," said Sally as Simon approached the toilet, "You're going to have
to pass water sitting down, so hike up your highly fashionable hospital
gown and take a seat."
Simon sat down with relief on the toilet. Just the short walk to the
toilet had worn him out. He attempted to urinate but nothing happened.
"Er Sally? Nothing is happening. I'm trying to wee but it doesn't appear
to work."
"Let me try an old trick we sometimes use in circumstances like this.
I'll be back in a second so don't go away!"
Sally disappeared and returned a moment later with a fresh jug of water
and a large glass. "Drink this," she said offering him a large glass of
water.
Simon took the drink and it quickly vanished down his throat. He was
then given another one. This however took longer to disappear. A third
glass was offered and he looked at her in astonishment.
"You want me to drink a third glass? Is this torture? I don't think I
could manage it."
"Try. Now when you want to urinate do so, but also try to stop the flow.
Try and feel the muscles and get some control."
Simon took gentle sips and managed to drink about half. "I'm full up of
water," he complained. "I can't drink any more."
Sally took the glass off him. After a few minutes, Simon was just as
frustrated. "Let see if this works," muttered Sally as she switched on
the CD player she'd also brought in. Different sounds of flowing water
drifted across the room. The sounds ranged from somebody filling a glass
of water to a dripping tap. A few seconds into the sound of crashing
waves a stream of urine flowed out.
"Oh well done," crowed Sally. "Try and stop the flow."
After a few attempts, he managed to succeed. Gradually feeling the
muscles Simon managed to stop and restart the flow a few times before he
was finished.
"Now when you had a penis you would be able to shake the remaining
droplets off. However, that is no longer an option so you must wipe
yourself. You should also wipe from front to back so not to get anything
unpleasant in your vagina and urethra. Wiping incorrectly is one of the
causes of yeast infections such as thrush and urinary tract infections."
Simon took a piece of paper and wiped as directed. This was the first
time that he had touched himself since the operation. He gingerly wiped
himself as directed and stared stony faced at the far wall.
"You finish up here while I take the CD player back to the nurses
station," explained Sally. "I'll put it in your room later when I get
the CD from the children's ward.
She took her time at the nurse's station to chat with one of the other
nurses about a different patient before returning to Simon. Even though
it had been a good five minutes he was still seated on the toilet but
had covered his nether regions up with a towel.
"Are you finished?" she asked.
"Yes," responded the ashen Simon. "With the bandages off I would like to
put on some underwear."
"Of course," she acknowledged. "I've put a selection on your bed. Let's
wash your hands and I'll help you back to your bed."
With Simon having washed his hands they made their way back to the bed.
Simon was pleased to have the catheter out as it showed a further step
on his recovery. As they neared the bed Simon saw there was a wide range
of underwear.
"What style of underwear you pick to wear is up to you," said Sally as
she noticed Simon staring at them. "Well just put the rest in the draw
next to the bed."
On the bed were four different styles of underwear. He examined each
one. First was a thong, not much material there. Second was a pair of
panties similar to what his girlfriend Kirsty used to wear. Third was a
pair of male briefs and lastly a pair of shorts.
Normally Simon wore shorts, which he donned. They fitted okay around the
waist but without his penis and genitals they felt wrong. He decided to
try the briefs. This fitted more snugly and felt more comfortable. He
picked up the two female panties and carried them like bombs across to
the draw, stuffing them in. Since he had put on the shorts he put them
in a plastic bag in his bedside cupboard.
Sally who had been accompanying him smiled sadly to herself. Rejecting
the female panties was not unexpected but his reaction to seeing his new
genitalia was worse than she had hoped for. She helped Simon back into
bed, went back to the nurse's station and wrote her observations in her
daily report to Rachel. She watched via the CCTV as Simon snuggled into
bed and fell asleep, exhausted from the minor exercise.
***
After lunch, Tina brought down the CD. "Here's the CD you wanted. How
long is she going to borrow it?"
'She?' thought Sally. 'Oh, since this is a ward of male to female
transsexuals I suppose Tina would assume that this is a girl.'
"Er, I think she will be finished by tonight. If so I will run it up
before going home."
"Are you working late again?"
"Yes. Short staffed so having to work an extra half shift. Jasmine is
doing the same."
"Will you be finished by Wednesday?"
"That's a point. I think I will have to postpone it."
"Okay. See you later."
As Tina left Sally took the CD player into Simon who had woken up from
his rest and had propped himself up in bed.
"Hi Simon, how are things going?"
"Crap. I was watching the news and the crash is beginning to become a
political fight between Labour and The Conservatives."
"How?"
"Well the Labour transport minister was promising tightening of the
legislation on placing an aircraft in danger. The Tories have now
reacted saying that the incident was caused due to lack of government
investment in the industry and the part privatisation of the National
Air Traffic Service."
"What do you want to do?" asked Sally
"I've an idea; do you have some plain paper and a pen?"
"Yes why?"
"Let me have a while and I'll show you. Ooh is that the CD player?"
"Yes. Tina from the children's ward just brought down the CD. When
you've finished with it please let me know as Tina said No Half Measures
is a very popular CD."
Sally plugged in the CD player and put it next to Simon's bed. "Now
remember no dancing while I get the paper."
When she returned Simon asked, "Would it be possible to be left alone
for the next couple of hours while I listen to the CD and think about my
parents? I know you are all concerned about me and after yesterday, I
presume that the room is monitored?"
"It's for your own safety," responded Sally.
"I don't mind," continued Simon. "It is nice that you all care. It is
just I don't want you to worry if I get upset and emotional. I promise
not to hurt myself."
"Okay but if I see anything too irrational then somebody will check on
you. We are responsible for you and there would be hell to pay if
anything happened to you."
Sally left and he spent the best part of the next hour scribbling away
on the paper. When he'd finished he turned on the CD. Soon the wispy
coral sound of "Waiting in Heaven" floated through the room. The raw
passion of a voice that at times sounded like it was barely in control
wreaked havoc with his emotions. As the song entered its finale, tears
streamed down his face.
Simon sat still engulfed in silence as he started to remember the good
times that he had with both of them. The way they had fussed over him on
his first day at school. They must have taken two rolls of film that
day. As he got older his parents were always there to see every rugby
match that he played in. When entering puberty his dad showing him how
to shave. When his friendship with Kirsty blossomed into a romance his
mum was there with advice. How would he be able to live his life without
the bedrock that his parents gave?
How would my parents have reacted to be loosing my manhood? This was a
difficult one. They had quite traditional views on items such as
marriage but also had very open attitudes towards other people. A
comment my father once said came to mind, "Appearance matters only for
initial impressions; what carries a relationship is what is in the
heart. Be true to yourself and you have nothing to fear." They had
always shown unconditional love. Punishments were fair and fitted the
misconduct. Yes, they would have found it difficult but would have been
supportive.
Simon rose gently from the bed and looked out of the window. He leaned
against the white windowsill and stared at the activity below. From this
position he could see the main road and life generally pass by. He
watched as he saw a young girl, who appeared to have only recently
learnt to walk, amble down the road with her parents. The girl, who was
holding onto her mothers arm, tripped against a raised paving slab and
burst into tears. He watched with tears in his eyes as the mother
scooped her baby into her arms and the father kissed her knee's better.
As they moved off Simon stood staring out of the window watching the
passers by while remembering being a member of a family. Naturally his
memories were not just of his parents but also included his grandfather.
The last thing he remembered his dying grandfather saying was "Don't
morn my passing. I'll still be watching over you. However after I'm
buried I want you to join with your parents and celebrate the good
things of my life. Remember the fun things we have done together and not
the funeral."
He looked at the watch left by the same grandfather. It was half past
six, had he really been reminiscing for over two hours? One of his
favourite memories of his father was listening to the evening comedy on
radio four. Simon looked to see if the CD player could receive radio.
After finding it could he tuned it to the correct frequency. "I'm Sorry
I Haven't a Clue" was just starting. This was one of his favourites and
as the teams were being introduced he remembered the laughter he used to
share with his father.
Rachel had come down to see Simon and was surprised to hear the chortle
over a radio program. Sally had informed her that he wanted to be left
alone to brood over his parents. Crying had been the minimum she had
expected but not laughter.
Not wanting to intrude and break the moment she hovered at the door
waiting for a good time to enter. As she waited she heard the radio say
"Next we have 'One Song to the Tune of Another'"
What ever is he listening to? However she decided to listen hoping it
would give insight into his personality. The presenter continued to
explain the game and said, "Okay first up is Tim. I want you to sing
'Jerusalem' to the tune of 'The Birdie Song'."
Rachel heard the first few moments of the song and moved away back to
the nurse's station trying to suppress her own laughter.
"That was not what I expected," informed Rachel.
"He was very introspective earlier and did quite a bit of crying. I
wanted to go in and comfort him and I found it very difficult to stay
away. He then changed from the CD and put on the radio. I watched as his
mood changed from tearful to cheerful. Whatever he has been brooding
about all afternoon he has come to some conclusion."
"I'll leave him to finish listening to this program before interrupting
him. Simon has been through a lot of pain over the last few days and if
the radio cheers him up then there is now way I'm going to interrupt
that," explained Rachel as she watched the monitor.
A few minutes after the program finished the melody of The Archers
whistled out of the radio. 'Mum used to like listening to it,' thought
Simon to himself, 'but I'm afraid that this is one tradition I'm not
going to continue with.'
Rachel entered the room just as Simon switched off the radio. It was at
that moment that she saw his state. Visible tearstains looked stark on
his face. The top of the hospital gown appeared to be damp from the
emotional upheaval from the previous hours. As Simon sat in the chair
next to his bed he sighed and tiredly rubbed his eyes.
"How are you feeling?"
Simon looked up with a look of surprise. "I hadn't heard you come in."
"Sorry, you were very preoccupied. So, how do you feel?"
"Shattered, but feeling a bit better about my parents."
"Why is that?" asked Rachel taking a seat.
"I was worried what they would have thought about me now. I contemplated
my life and realised that my parents loved me for me. What was between
my legs was inconsequential."
"How are you feeling about your parent's death?"
"Slightly better. I miss them terribly. However, I know that they are
gone and there is nothing that I can do about it. I feel hurt that they
are gone and aren't going to be here to help me through my injuries."
"Who do you blame for your parents deaths?"
"Lots of different people. It appears to change by the hour. Currently I
blame the people who switched on their mobile phones. Sometimes it is
the designers of the building, other times God or even sometimes Mr
Wilson."
"Who is Mr Wilson?"
"He is Kirsty's foster father. Actually she was adopted about a year
ago; she had been fostered by them for about three years prior to that.
He got a new job else where in the country and were moving. Mr and Mrs
Wilson were like second parents to me as I spent so much time with them.
Kirsty's and my parents decided that it would be best if I wasn't around
when they moved so we were going on holiday."
"Okay. What were your parents like? Tell me about them."
For the next half hour Simon described them and went on to talk about is
final hours talking to his mother. As his description went on he became
more emotional and tears trickled down his face. However Simon continued
expressing his memories and showing his obvious love for his now dead
parents.
Simon slowly regained his composure and asked Rachel, "Have you seen the
news today regarding the accident?"
"Are you meaning how the politicising of the incident?"
"Yes. I've put something together and wonder if you would have a look?"
As Rachel nodded, Simon passed the paper he had composed. As she read it
she occasionally gave quick glances at Simon.
"Are you sure you're only fifteen?" she asked rhetorically. As she
finished she asked "The comments have upset you that much?"
"Yes. They don't appear to have any real thought for the people injured
or killed. I just hope that this refocuses them into doing something
positive."
"Well I think it is well written and I hope that it does the job. Now
you have written it how are you going to release it?"
"Here is a sheet of paper with whom it should be sent to. I don't have a
fax or phone number but directory enquiries should be able to help."
"Leave it with me and I'll get it to him tonight." Rachel paused to
collect her thoughts on where the conversation had previously been
going. "You were very reticent to talk yesterday. You put up a front
trying to suppress your emotions. Yet today you are talking about your
parents and have been crying. What has changed?"
Simon just sat there, his eyes still moist.
"Something happened," prodded Rachel. "What was it?"
"I had a bad dream last night and it upset me greatly. Jasmine came in
and helped me. She showed me that it is best to talk about your feelings
rather than bottle them up. I've repressed my emotions for years and was
having difficulty expressing them. I remembered a CD I'd heard called No
Half Measures by Cara Malone. It contains a song written when her mother
died. Her sentiments were not quite mine but were close enough, coupled
with her raw emotion, to help me show mine."
"Can I listen to it?"
"Sure," he said turning on the CD player selecting the correct track.
The song played out of the small speakers and the emotion of the singer
filled the hearts of the small but attentive audience.
'I wonder how long after her mother died that she recorded this,'
thought Rachel. 'She sure did sound highly emotional.'
The song finished with
"Oh how I wish I could see you now, lifted beyond the stars
No more hurt, no more pain, almost too wonderful to be
Through my tears I steel myself, clinging to the edge of hope
Heaven is to be with you again - so save a place for me."
The silence filled the still air and a blanket of tension engulfed them.
Nothing was said as both of them sat considering themselves. Rachel, who
was used to dealing with other peoples emotions watched Simon through
her own blurry eyes. Whoever Cara Malone was she certainly knew how to
tug at people's heartstrings.
After about ten minutes of introspection Simon broke the silence, "Thank
you for your help." Simon dried his eyes from a rapidly diminishing box
of tissues. "Today has been difficult and I feel tired, can we continue
tomorrow?"
"How about ten o'clock?"
Simon nodded and continued, "Would it be possible to give the player and
CD back to Sally?"
Rachel walked carrying the items leaving Simon alone.
***
"How is he?" asked Sally who was just finished handing over to Jasmine.
"He talked a lot about his parents. I've yet to find out about the radio
program and how he managed to laugh at a time when he had just been
through so much. Also he talked very little about how he is coping with
himself and I feel he his avoiding this. Simon is so exhausted so he
should go to sleep quite easily. However he still has issues that are
troubling him greatly and his refusal to deal with them will undoubtedly
lead to more nightmares."
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