A Different Plane of Existence
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A Different Plane Of Existence Part 5 free porn video
A Different Plane of Existence By Karen Page
(revised January 2005)
Edited by Angel O'Hare
Part Five
Angela examined Charlotte's face for a few minutes and then asked, "I
take it you've never had electrolysis before?"
Charlotte shook her head no.
"Do you know anything about it?"
"No...None of this was planned."
"Don't worry," reassured Angela, "I've been told that your case is
confidential, so I won't be asking any questions about what happened or
your original identity. I've dealt with cases of under sixteen's before
and I'm aware that there are normally court orders to ensure
confidentiality."
"Thanks," Charlotte replied. "This is difficult enough without the
tabloids making me their next sob story."
Angela just nodded. "Well, let's get down to it. This," she said
pointing to an innocent looking white box, "is the electrolysis
machine." She attached two cables to it. One had a pedal attached,
which rested on the floor; the other cable was longer but didn't appear
to go anywhere. "I will attach a small needle to the cable which I
insert into the hair follicle. When I press the pedal, a controlled
current of electricity will weaken the follicle. Using tweezers I gently
remove the hair."
"You said it weakened the hair follicle. Does that mean that the hair
will grow back?"
"Yes, the hair might grow back but it will be finer. Sometimes a
follicle requires several zaps before it gives up. Also not all hairs
are active at once. So, you might have a hair that becomes active in
thirty days which would need treating. Electrolysis takes time to
achieve results but as you are still young your facial hair is not fully
established so re-growth won't be as severe as somebody who has finished
puberty."
"So when do we start?"
"Today if you want, Dr Ruiz spent quite a bit of time on the telephone
with social services getting them to agree to this. Firstly I need to
make sure you understand that this is permanent; there is no reversal."
"Even before the accident I hated shaving, it was a chore. Even if I
lived as a man I wouldn't want a beard so removal is quite a relief."
"Right, now while I setup why don't you go to the toilet. We are going
to be at it for a few hours so I want you comfortable."
When Charlotte reappeared, Angela had the electrolysis machine all set
up. She had borrowed an office chair from the nurse's station and moved
the pillow to the bottom of the bed.
"How do you want me?"
"Lie down on your side," requested Angela. "That will give me a good
angle to work on your face."
As Charlotte clambered onto the bed, her lack of experience of being a
woman became apparent. Her gown, which was relatively short, rose
exposing the male briefs. Angela noticed but didn't let on.
"How about I start with your cheeks and work my way out?"
Not knowing any different, Charlotte gave a slight nod and lay on the
bed. Angela leaned across and began the process. Charlotte looked
slightly surprised at the slight warmth as the current was activated.
"I'm going to use the tweezers to remove the hair," informed Angela.
"Let me know if you feel it tug. If it tugs then I've not zapped the
follicle enough and it would be like plucking the hair. Plucking makes
the hair stronger and is diametric to what we want to achieve."
As Angela grasped the hair with the tweezers, it didn't easily slide
out. "Did you feel that tug?" she asked.
"I think so," Charlotte replied hesitantly.
"I'm turning the level up two notches," she informed as she twisted
small knob. Angela again zapped and this time the hair slid out with no
resistance.
When Angela zapped the next hair Charlotte asked, "Aren't you going to
remove the hair?"
Angela laughed, "I did. It is because we are at the correct setting the
hair just slides out with no feeling."
"I'm impressed. I thought that this would be painful."
Angela just smiled and continued zapping away. She didn't want to tell
him that the cheeks were relatively painless but the top lip and jaw
would have her jumping off the bed.
After half an hour, Charlotte was asked to twist around so Angela could
make a start on the left cheek. "Why change sides now?"
"It gives that side of your body a rest while we do the other side."
Once the thirty minutes on the right side was complete, Angela called a
break and went to speak with Sally. Charlotte, thinking the conversation
was getting a bit stale, turned on the television to VH1. She thought
that Angela looked like she was in her late twenties so shouldn't find
the music to unappealing.
The second hour Angela started at the bottom of the neck and started to
work her way up. The hair here was sparser and therefore a larger area
was covered. Just as Charlotte was turning round for the other side to
be done there was a knock on the door and Sally walked in.
"Hi Charlotte, how is it going?" asked Sally as she passed a tube of
cream to Angela.
"I feel a little tender where Angela has been zapping me but so far so
good. I thought it would be painful but haven't really had any issues so
far. What's the cream for?"
"It will numb an area where I'm going to treat so that you won't feel so
much pain," answered Angela.
"I've been okay so far," said Charlotte rather cockily.
"Lie still and let me do a hair on your upper lip."
Angela inserted the needle and pressed the pedal down.
"Ouch," yelled Charlotte giving a sudden jerk and then conceded with a
weak smile, "Perhaps numbing the area might not be a bad idea."
"Have fun," smiled Sally as she left the room.
Angela thinly spread the cream along the moustache area. "This will give
it time to work," she explained. "It reduces the amount of pain by about
fifty percent."
The other side of the neck was done and it was soon time for the upper
lip. Charlotte braced herself and Angela did the first hair.
"How was that?" she asked Charlotte.
"Not as bad as without the cream," she answered, "but still painful."
"For quickness I'm going to work my way along and zap each hair. I'll
then remove the hairs with the tweezers afterwards so the pain is
compressed into a short a time as possible."
During the next forty minutes, Charlotte lay there with her jaw firmly
set trying to think of anything that wasn't electrolysis. She
concentrated on her parents faces thinking of the times that she had
struggled to achieve something and their constant support and
encouragement.
When the torture was over Angela said, "Well done. A lot of people
struggle with the pain when doing the top lip. What gave you the impetus
to keep going?"
"I was concentrating on my parents," Charlotte replied. "My Mum managed
to cope with being in labour for twenty-two hours. If she could suffer
for so long there was no way that I was going to give up. That's a
thought. Maybe I could have some Entonox?"
"I don't think the labour ward would be too happy to give away all their
toys," Angela replied with a small laugh as she wiped Charlotte's face
with some Aloe gel.
"I leave the hospital tomorrow," informed Charlotte. "I take it that you
won't be doing the rest of the electrolysis?"
"No, that will be somebody called Wendy. Dr Ruiz organised me to start
here but Wendy lives in the area you are going to."
Charlotte looked disappointed which was noticed by Angela. "I used to
work with Wendy and I think you will like her. Now make sure that you
pack the Elma cream as I think you might need it."
Angela was the first non-medical person that had seen Charlotte since
the operation. She was helping treat the results of the medical
intervention but she wasn't a nurse or doctor. Angela hadn't commented
on the masculine voice or behaviour but treated her compassionately.
Compassion was expected from medical personnel but one of Charlotte's
concerns was how she would be perceived in the community as she learnt
how to be less male.
When Angela left, Charlotte was alone. This was getting to be a bit of a
bore. She wandered across to the mirror and peered at her face. The
areas that had been treated looked slightly red but not as bad as
expected. It seemed strange to see that the top lip was totally devoid
of hair. She shuddered at the memory of the pain. After examining the
cheeks, she concluded that this looked like the least amount of hair had
been removed. However, what was the most startling was the amount
removed at the bottom of the neck. The hair used to go all the way past
the prominent Adams Apple down to the start of the chest. Now it was
mostly cleared with a faint strip of hair emanating from the Adams Apple
toward the chest.
Charlotte entered the bathroom where there was a full-length mirror. She
removed the gown and underwear and standing naked stared at the
reflection in the mirror. The reflection in the mirror was Simon. The
rather muscular figure with hairy arms, legs and chest seemed at odds
with the reflection from the groin. This was sore, hair free and devoid
of the standard male plumbing. For the sake of the people treating him,
Simon was trying to become Charlotte; however, when he looked in the
mirror the act just failed. Yes, HE was Simon and yes, he felt bereft at
the lack of a penis.
Jasmine, just having arrived for work, had gone into the room adjacent
to the Simon's room to get a file. She glanced through the one-way
mirror and saw Simon, who had left the bathroom door open, standing
looking at his reflection. Jasmine stood and watched wondering what was
going through his mind. She saw Simon suddenly pick up the hospital
gown, which had been lying on the floor, and after placing it back on
his body turn and walk briskly to the draws containing underwear. She
noticed that the male briefs had been left lying on the floor in the
bathroom. Jasmine was surprised as Simon pulled out two panties; the
mini style and the thong style.
Not taking her eye from the mirror Jasmine grabbed the telephone and
rang the nurse's desk. "Sally, are you watching the monitor?"
"Not at the moment. Why?"
"Turn it on."
There was a pause while Sally leaned across the paper-cluttered desk to
switch on the monitor. "What's Charlotte holding?" she asked as she
peered at the screen.
"Who's Charlotte?"
"This afternoon Simon decided he would attempt to live as a girl.
Charlotte was the name he chose."
"She has a pair of panties in each hand," said Jasmine switching to the
new gender. "I think she is contemplating putting one of them on but
can't decide between the two different styles. Do you know if Dr Ruiz is
available?"
"I spoke with her about ten minutes ago. While on the phone she got
paged by A & E. Apparently an ambulance just brought in a teenage
suicide attempt. They get a slight rise in the number of cases at this
time of the year due to stress of students taking their GCSE and A-Level
exams. I don't think she will be available for a few hours."
"Shit. From the look on her face she is fighting not just between which
of the styles to wear but if to wear one at all."
They watched as the decision was fought on several fronts. Tears started
slowly trickling down her face. Charlotte threw both pairs of panties
into the open draw and walked towards the bathroom to retrieve the male
briefs. Half way to the bathroom Charlotte stopped; she wiped the tears
from her eyes with the sleeve of the hospital gown and strode
purposefully towards the underwear draw. She pulled out a pair of plain
mini style panties and before either of the discreet watchers could
blink, she had pulled them up her hairy legs.
Charlotte then went and sat on the chair tears streaming down her
cheeks; the male briefs abandoned in the bathroom. As the tears failed
to dissipate the two onlookers started to get concerned. They weren't
used to this reaction in this ward; their patients were normally so
happy.
"Jasmine," started Sally. "I'll go in and try and comfort Charlotte. Why
don't you come to the nurse's station and monitor the situation through
the monitor. You can then get assistance if required."
Sally tentatively waked up to the door and knocked. She waited for a few
seconds for a response before entering uninvited into the room.
Charlotte looked washed out. Her eyes, red from crying, matched the sore
skin from electrolysis. As Sally got closer she changed her mind; the
eyes looked worse.
Sally took Charlotte's hands into her own. As Charlotte's tears slowly
dwindled Sally said, "Why don't you lie down and let's talk."
Charlotte slowly nodded and clambered onto the bed. She lay down in the
foetal position hugging one of the pillows. Despite the warmth of the
room, Charlotte started to shiver. Sally took the spare blanket from the
back of the easy chair and covered Charlotte.
"Now tell me what's wrong. Something must have caused you to get this
upset."
"After my session with Angela I decided to have a good luck at myself. I
stripped naked and looked at myself using the full-length mirror in the
bathroom. What I saw was not a girl, Charlotte, but a man without a
penis. My body is full of hair and does not have the correct shape. I
know I said that I would have a go at living as a girl but I don't know
if I'm going to be able to do it. It feels so wrong; my mind is saying
man and every time I try to persuade myself otherwise it just doesn't
feel correct."
'Oh why isn't Rachel available,' moaned Sally to herself.
"Why did you agree to try and live as Charlotte if you feel it is so
wrong?" asked Sally.
"We were discussing what I wanted from life. One of my biggest desires
is to be a parent. I don't know which is more important, living as a man
or becoming a parent. Since I'm now equipped to be a mother and not a
father I decided to try and live as Charlotte. Dr Ruiz said I could back
out at any stage if I didn't like the situation."
Sally nodded trying to contemplate the dilemma that Charlotte found
herself in. Neither option sounded like a perfect solution. As
Charlotte, she would hate herself and as Simon would feel that something
was missing in his life.
"Isn't this ward for people to have operations to become girls?"
continued Charlotte.
Sally smiled at the way the question was phrased. "Well they have always
been girls. They are just having the operation so that the body matches
the mind. In some respects you are the exact opposite to them; a boy
trapped in a girl's body. Why did you put on the panties if being a girl
upsets you so much?"
"After seeing my reflection I decided that I needed to try harder to be
a girl so I put on a pair of panties. This simple act of putting on a
piece of underwear brought such conflict. Logically it is the way
forward; my future. However my mind rebelled against such thoughts. Just
holding them, knowing that I would be putting them on, caused me such
turmoil."
"Let me surmise," said Sally. "You have two main issues. You don't know
if the big hairy rugby player will be able to pass as a woman. The other
issue is that you don't know if you are going to be able to emotionally
accept yourself as a woman?"
Charlotte thought for a few moments, "Yes I suppose that about sums it
up."
"Well there is little I can do to help you with the last point. That is
something that you will find out as you go along. However, I might be
able to help regarding your doubts about if you'll ever be able to pass
as a woman. Go and wash your face and I'll be back in a few moments. Try
and make yourself presentable as I might be back with a guest."
As Charlotte went to the bathroom Sally slipped out of the room. As
Sally went past Jasmine she said, "Charlotte is afraid that she might
never pass as a woman. I'm going to see if Sue will help."
Jasmine nodded with a slight smile of agreement.
"Hi Sue," started Sally as she approached Sue's bed. "How are you
feeling?"
"I've just finished dilating so feel a bit sore," was the response.
"What are you still doing here? Didn't your shift finish a bit ago?"
"Yes, but we have been having a problem," said Sally lowering her voice.
"However I need you to be able to keep what you see and hear
confidential."
Sue looked at her indignantly. "You know that as a GP I keep all medical
items confidential. For the first eighteen years of your life I was your
GP. I've kept all your secrets, even that one when you were fourteen."
"Thanks, if my parents had ever found out I'd seen you for emergency
contraception and went on the pill I think I would have been grounded
for life."
"Well tell me about her. I take it was her that woke the ward up with
her nightmare."
"Actually it was something slightly different called a night terror."
Sue looked sharply at Sally, her quiet patient demeanour gone; replaced
by the caring, inquisitive medical professional. "How old is she?"
"Fifteen."
"So SRS was due to a medical emergency. I take it she is under quite a
bit of stress to get a night terror at that age. How are her parents
coping with their son changing into their daughter?"
"Both of the parents are dead. Please don't ask much more as there is a
court injunction to protect her identity." Sally went on to explain the
current situation.
"Would you like me to talk with Charlotte? I have some photos of me when
I was still male. Why don't you give her some of my background? That
should give her a better understanding."
"I think that might help," said a relieved Sally.
Sue put on her dressing gown over her nightie and grabbing her handbag
followed Sally to the side room. Sue waited outside as Sally slipped
into Charlotte's room, "Are you ready for the visitor?"
"I think so," replied Charlotte. "Though I don't know what they will
think of me, looking like this."
"Come on in Sue," called Sally raising her voice.
Simon gasped as Sue walked in. She looked like she was just over 6ft but
there was nothing masculine about her. "Hi, I'm Sue," she said
introducing herself. Sue's voice might have been slightly on the deep
side but the intonation screamed female.
"Er, come in and have a seat," offered Charlotte unsure of what to do.
Sally and Sue came and sat opposite. "Am I the first transsexual you've
ever met?"
Charlotte gulped and nodded yes.
"Don't worry I don't bite," she said with a reassuring smile. "Anyway
you may have met others but never have realised. Now, I only know some
of the issues you've had since the operation. I don't have any details
of your previous life or name and so we don't break the court
injunction; let's keep it that way."
"Sue has just had her SRS. I knew Sue when I was younger as until I was
eighteen she was my GP. At that time, she was a man called Stuart. That
was the day job. When not on call Stuart was a rugby player playing for
Wigan."
Sue dug into her handbag and retrieved a photograph from the 1970's.
Charlotte just looked astonished that somebody who could have played at
such a high level could now look so feminine. After a few moments of
quiet pondering Charlotte asked Sue, "I don't mean to be rude but can I
ask you some questions?"
"Ask away. I like to help people. That is one of the reasons I wanted to
be a doctor."
"When did you know that you wanted to be a woman?"
"I was about eight. I didn't understand why I felt that way. I certainly
didn't have a name for the issue. As I grew up, I realised that other
people didn't feel the same so I kept quiet. It wasn't legal to be gay
in England till 1967 so what chance did a transsexual have. Then in 1970
there was a court case that decided that a transsexual was the sex of
birth and a man that changed sex to be a woman was still legally a man.
With all that pressure I decided to live with the life I had. I was good
at rugby and by playing such a masculine game nobody suspected my secret
desire. It wasn't until people like Lynne Jones, she's a MP for the
Labour Party, started pushing for the law to be changed that I decided
to finally live the life I should."
"Wow," said Charlotte. "How did you manage to survive with being a woman
trapped inside the body of a man? Seeing the image in the mirror must
have been awful."
"Did you notice in the photograph that I had a beard? If I had shaved,
I would have had to look at myself. I kept my hair very short so I
didn't have to look in a mirror to comb my hair. Actually what was worse
was not understanding why I felt that I should have been doing things my
sister was doing. Once I realised that I was actually a girl things
became slightly easier."
Sue talked for another hour regarding her past and how she coped with a
life knowing the body was wrong. Sally, who only knew some, sat back and
the respect that she had for her patient rose.
"Do you think I will be able to ever pass?" asked Charlotte.
"If I could manage it then I'm sure that if that is what you want then
you will be able to achieve it. Is it what you want?"
"I don't know what I want. However I'm told that this is my best chance
for a normal life so am willing to give it a try."
Sue pondered that response wondering what had caused the person in front
of her to have to suffer such a major life change. "I can see that you
started on electrolysis today. How was it?"
"The cheeks and neck weren't too bad but the upper lip was a major
pain."
Sue laughed and asked, "Talking of pain I presume you've had your
packing out. How are you getting on with dilation?"
"What packing and what's dilation?" Charlotte asked unsure what Sue was
asking.
"Sue," warned Sally. "I don't think you should be asking questions like
this."
"Sally, I know my operation was different from normal. I'd like to hear
what Sue has to say. My past is what the injunction was about and Sue
has already said that she would keep what she learns in here to
herself."
Sally gave a shrug of resignation and Charlotte asked again, "Sue, tell
me what the packing is and what dilation is."
"When they construct the vaginal passage they fill it with surgical
packing. That is so the body has time to recover before the start of
dilation. Since the vagina was constructed from penile tissue it doesn't
know how to behave as a vagina. Instead of staying open it will attempt
to close and the skin knit together. Patients dilate to keep the new
opening from closing."
"So to put it crudely, you have to use something like a dildo to
penetrate yourself or you will lose what you had constructed."
Sally and Sue winced at the generalisation but both nodded in agreement.
"So is it painful," Charlotte asked kindly.
"Sometimes," responded Sue, "The removal of the packing was more
uncomfortable. However, dilation can be painful but is worth it. I've
only been dilating for a few days and it is something that I will get
used to. I'm still very sore from the operation but at least I can go
home in a few days to recuperate."
"I leave tomorrow," said Charlotte. "I'm going on a course to teach me
how to behave like a woman. Well I might end up like a tomboy but I hope
to be able to go back to school before the summer holidays. Since I now
have no family I'll probably end up in care."
"You said your operation was on Saturday? That's very a very quick
recovery time. What are your biggest concerns about living as a woman?"
Charlotte thought for a moment, "Probably in this order; if I will ever
be able to accept life as a woman; if I will be able to pass as a woman
and lastly I'm dreading having my first period."
Sally glared at Charlotte, which Sue noticed. Sue at first just thought
that Charlotte was just not informed that post op transsexuals don't
have periods. However, with the look that Sally gave Charlotte she was
rapidly changing her mind. Suddenly things began to make sense to Sue;
the quick healing times, no need to dilate.
"Was this a transplant?" she asked. Sally glumly nodded her head.
"Well no wonder you're confused," said Sue. "To have to choose between
living a full, but conflicted, life as a woman against living as a
stable but incomplete male is something nobody should have to decide."
Sue turned to Sally and asked, "Is Charlotte having to take medication
to stop organ rejection?"
"No, it was an almost perfect tissue match."
Sue was going to ask another question but decided not to. She chatted
for another thirty minutes explaining some of things that could be done
if living life as a female was decided. When Charlotte stifled a yawn
Sally decided to draw the chat to an end.
"Sue, I think it is time that we let Charlotte go to sleep. Tomorrow is
going to be a long day for her."
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